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ColonelMuttonchops
Feb 18, 2011




Young Orc

Lets just save time and carve it onto the door.

Honestly though, it'd be pretty cool to set off some kind of religious schism. Be even better if we don't immediately get pulped by big musclemen/angels, but eh, poo poo happens.

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Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009

Labaras went into the wilds and brought Enkidu food and then, brought him a slave from the Temple of El, to um... shall we say, gentle him.



Smellrose

Ishamal told us to not meddle in the affairs of the House of El/church. And he warned us probably because they will recognize what we are and pummel us to death if we start shaking their poo poo up. I am all for shaking poo poo up when we have the power to do so.

We could introduce a new rule that you can't eat goats because they are holy animals and best friends of man. We can even make up a bunch of stories of how Labaras always had a goat friend by his side. The old story of how Labaras started his adventures has a goat in it. We just need to keep that goat in all his other stories.

Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at May 27, 2014 around 01:36

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands


I would also like to vote in favor of Enkidel becoming a pioneer and trendsetter in the noble art of haberdashery. Mighty Sculptor? Mighty Carpenter? Screw that! Mighty Hatting is where it's at! By using the monster parts our Balls acquire, Enkidel's seething brow will be adorned by nothing less than the absolute finest and most literally bleeding-edge of headgear!

Nolaterif
Jan 10, 2003



He can go around hunting wabbits with his spear and magic helmet!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree


Tomn posted:

I would also like to vote in favor of Enkidel becoming a pioneer and trendsetter in the noble art of haberdashery. Mighty Sculptor? Mighty Carpenter? Screw that! Mighty Hatting is where it's at! By using the monster parts our Balls acquire, Enkidel's seething brow will be adorned by nothing less than the absolute finest and most literally bleeding-edge of headgear!

of course YOU would suggest we get a fedora

unimportantguy
Dec 25, 2012

Maybe she has no parents and was raised by dogs?

We are on the Road! The Road... to ADVENTURE.

Plan SerSpook sounds good to me, and I vote we got with that. I'd like to know a little about the places we go, but let's not get crazy detailed unless something interesting or troublesome happens.

I am also finding myself strangely interested in the idea of making awesome hats. I know it was probably a jokepost, but I'm going to throw half-serious support behind it.

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010



Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

of course YOU would suggest we get a fedora

Naaa, we should make nothing but the finest asshats.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004

I love you boy, One Pack, always.


Lipstick Apathy

Tudiya has refused us answers for our entire life. This is our chance to find out something he doesn't want us to know right now. It's amazing to me how many people want to open wide and swallow Tudiya's load.

Voting to open the egg/box after we leave the city

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands


Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

of course YOU would suggest we get a fedora

Of course not. A fedora is a quiet, understated thing. Ur is a land of loud deeds and louder bragging - it requires equally loud headwear. Something fancy. Something garish. Something we can stick our monster bits onto.



Just replace the knick-knacks with ogre foreskins, minotaur horns, and roc feathers, and we're good to go!

rex monday
Jul 9, 2001

Pisk. Pisk. Piiiiiiisk!

Since every Blooded guy can get really drat good with whatever crafts he chooses to work in and since goons seem set on Enkidel using a bow like some kind of English peasant, why not sink time into learning from Chait? Just make better bows then use them till your strength breaks them. Then repeat.

ArbitraryTA
May 2, 2011


rex monday posted:

Since every Blooded guy can get really drat good with whatever crafts he chooses to work in and since goons seem set on Enkidel using a bow like some kind of English peasant, why not sink time into learning from Chait? Just make better bows then use them till your strength breaks them. Then repeat.

This is actually a good point. Why the hell would we buy a bow when we can build one fitted perfectly to us?

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



ArbitraryTA posted:

This is actually a good point. Why the hell would we buy a bow when we can build one fitted perfectly to us?
Yeah, we should probably save our life savings for when we're perhaps the best archer the line of Zepa has ever seen. Not blow it now.

hiddenriverninja
May 10, 2013

life is locomotion
keep moving
trust that you'll find your way


rex monday posted:

Since every Blooded guy can get really drat good with whatever crafts he chooses to work in and since goons seem set on Enkidel using a bow like some kind of English peasant, why not sink time into learning from Chait? Just make better bows then use them till your strength breaks them. Then repeat.

This, but find a way to imbue it with some kickass magic.

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA


Just focus on the club.

Join the Club Club today.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

Fandom is misery.



Actually, another option, I think we should start trying to learn how to throw our medium spear. We already have some trait points invested in "throw spear" from Og's childhood, even if that trait normally only applies to smaller fishing-type spears, so we'd probably be able to figure out how to throw a medium spear accurately pretty fast, and that'd be a good emergency skill to have.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Tsyni posted:

Tudiya has refused us answers for our entire life. This is our chance to find out something he doesn't want us to know right now. It's amazing to me how many people want to open wide and swallow Tudiya's load.

Voting to open the egg/box after we leave the city

Tudiya's usually pretty straight with us actually, the only thing he's refused us answers on is our parentage. It's just that he doesn't have a lot of the answers we're looking for, and a lot of the time he really believes that the answer is: "El is just great."

Tudiya may be worse off than we are in a lot of respects, honestly. He's kept in the dark too, he believes strongly in the El orthodoxy, and isn't let in on a lot of the deeper secrets (demons under his own city and he doesn't know about it?), but he also isn't strong enough, or gifted enough, or whatever, to know that he's being kept ignorant, as we do. Or at least, he doesn't care, and trusts in his keepers.

Honestly though, I wish we'd let him in on more things, ask him more questions. He's shown a willingness to shake things up, he's a man of action when it counts, and his instincts may be right on the money quite often. It's just that he's talked down from doing things, like dismantling Bareen, by Ishamal and the church, who almost certainly have their own motivations for keeping him restrained, well-meaning or otherwise.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW


Grimey Drawer

JT Jag posted:

Yeah, we should probably save our life savings for when we're perhaps the best archer the line of Zepa has ever seen. Not blow it now.

We probably already are the best bowman in our line, Zepath has a pathological medium spear obsession.

I believe Chait has refused to teach us how to make better bows multiple times.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

I don't think it's so much that he refused, as he can't.
I'm pretty sure we have the best bow that he can make with the available materials.

Now, he DID repeatedly refuse to make us a Seir bow, which has been a moot point as it requires rare materials that we don't have, such as dragon bones and Giant tendons, though we've theorized that we could convince him if we actually had the stuff on hand.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

the_steve posted:

I don't think it's so much that he refused, as he can't.
I'm pretty sure we have the best bow that he can make with the available materials.

Now, he DID repeatedly refuse to make us a Seir bow, which has been a moot point as it requires rare materials that we don't have, such as dragon bones and Giant tendons, though we've theorized that we could convince him if we actually had the stuff on hand.

that actually wouldn't be a seir bow but a cheap knockoff designed to give us a bow that could harm monsters, but wouldn't fire as fast nor be as accurate

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands


Semi-relevant quote I just ran into:

quote:

White Hawk (Ćetaηíska), a Lakota man from the Standing Rock Reservation who worked with the anthropologist Frances Densmore in the early decades of the twentieth century put that sentiment into words: a good bow would see the arrow point embedded in the flesh of the buffalo; an excellent bow would see the arrow shaft driven in almost up to the fletches; a fine bow would send the same arrow clear through the animal.

Given that this describes a mundane, normal human bow, f we can get our hands on a Seir bow and grow into our Might, we've got a pretty decent chance of tagging multiple minotaurs per shot, seems like. A ready-made shish kebab.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

paragon1 posted:

We probably already are the best bowman in our line, Zepath has a pathological medium spear obsession.

I believe Chait has refused to teach us how to make better bows multiple times.

Chait has offered to teach us how to make bows before, but goons have always voted for something else.

I ride bikes all day
Sep 10, 2007


I shitposted in the same thread for 2 years and all I got was this red text av. Ask me about my autism!



College Slice

That would be a laminated bow. Pretty sure that's very late Bronze Age, maybe even early Iron Age tech.

Ralith
Jan 12, 2011

I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today


LLSix posted:

Chait has offered to teach us how to make bows before, but goons have always voted for something else.
Something to do when we get back, then.

hiddenriverninja
May 10, 2013

life is locomotion
keep moving
trust that you'll find your way


yes! YES to all positive bow related chats and votes

Question for Diog: Is there a way to whisper sweet nothings to our arrows so that they VAYAHI OR on impact?

DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008



LLSix posted:

Chait has offered to teach us how to make bows before, but goons have always voted for something else.

A vote to try and get him to make us an awesomebow succeeded a number of times but he always said no. I think someone asked him to teach us how once and his answer was even more dismissive.

We could almost certainly find someone in Baitel that can help us out here, though.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




Alright people, how do you like your Diog - fried, baked, or boiled?

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Grimey Drawer

HiHo ChiRho posted:

Alright people, how do you like your Diog - fried, baked, or boiled?
Spit-roasted.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


The next big step of your trip is going to take me time to prepare. More time than I have today. To be honest, more time than I have today and probably tomorrow. Serspook's plan won the pacing vote, but I need a day or two till we can ramp up to that, so i'd like to handle some simpler decisions in the mean time.




It usually takes about 14 days to go to Tanaach from Zepath, it takes your group almost 19 and a half. If you continue at this pace, your expected six month trip to Baitel will take about eight and a half months. A return trip should be notably swifter without the minotaur, old men and nearly 20 donkeys of offerings, unless you take donkeys with goods for the return trip.

1. You have five competing interests while traveling. Assign each a number between 1 and 5, you can use the same number more than once.

A. Speed - How quickly your group moves. 1 is the slowest, 5 is the fastest, 3 is your planned pace.

B. Security - How spread out your march and camp is in the wilderness, how many watches there are, if you set up basic defenses at night. The more secure your camps, the longer it takes to pack at dawn and unpack at night and the less sleep your Balls get pulling watches. The more secure your camp, the more likely you detect danger before it is close. At 1 your group spreads out as they march and have a sprawling camp with minimal watches. At 5 you walk in a column and sleep in a tight but crowded camp with ample watches.

C. Comfort of the Pilgrims - The slower you move, the more comfortable the pilgrims are. The more they eat, the happier they are. At 1 you don't care about their comfort. At 5 their comfort is very important to you.

D. Comfort of your Balls - The less effort put into setting up defenses or pulling watches at night, the happier they are. The more they eat, the happier they are. Your Balls are eager to get to Baitel, they want to go faster than the pilgrims. At 1 you don't care about their comfort. At 5 their comfort is very important to you.

E. Rationing food - Ranking it at 3 will match your planned budget, ranking it higher will mean you feed your group smaller meals and save silver, ranking it lower means you fees your group more but will have to buy extra supplies.

Danal's unhappy mood about leaving Ruth has gradually lifted as the days went on.

You arrive in Tanaach and are greeted by King Rimush, who welcomes you and the pilgrims warmly, remarking of Danal that "My how you have grown, what have they been feeding you?" Rimush invites you, Danal and your five Mighty Sons to spend the night in his home. Your group is too large to easily accommodate in the city and renting lodging for them is outside of your budget. They will camp just beyond the walls. Your Mighty Sons are pleased by the prospect of sleeping in real beds after days of walking except for Gareb who tells you "I am going to stay with the camp."

Jobe is invited by the Temple of El to stay there, at his request they also house the old men who came with you for the night.

Gareb rejoined your Balls for your trip to Baitel. He is not particularly glory hungry nor hungry for riches. As you know, he initially joined because his father, a Mighty Man threatened to disinterest him if he did not go adventuring. His father satisfied, he quit, though he joined your Balks during the minotaur battle. He is in his late 20s or early 30s and the oldest of your Mighty Sons. At the time he ripped a tentacle from the Zviv with his bare hands he was obviously the strongest of your Balls but now that is less clear. Your Mighty Sons respect him and insofar as any of them had a superior role, it was him. You wrestled a few days ago during training, it is a toss up which of you is stronger now, though you have not tested your strength against him for some time, since before he left your Balls. He has five fingered hands and is still the tallest of your Balls for now at least.

Uriah. The youngest of all of your Balls. The younger brother of Lullaya. He can Vayahi Or which is highly unusual for his age. He whistled a deer to come for slaughter last week which is a known Blooded ability and also highly unusual for his age. Still, he is from Barkof's lineage which is the most Blooded after Tudiya's. His strength is growing, though you are still stronger. He is a glory hound and gets along well with Danal who seem to share a world view about the meaning of life being to be a badass and let others know that you are. He has six fingered hands.

Jassiel. Son of Obel. He seems to be getting stronger which is expected for young Blooded men of this age. He has six fingers on a hand.

Ithma. Grandson of Obel. He has five fingers on a hand and like your other Balls seems to be getting stronger.

Ira. A former merchant, he replaced Gareb when Gareb quit. He ia your second oldest Mighty Son. He gets along well with your other Balls but is not as respected, not having been a founding Ball.


2. As to King Rimush's invitation you...
F. Accept.
G. Decline. Stay with the camp.
H. You and Danal accept, but keep your Mighty Sons with the pilgrims.
I. Let your Mighty Sons go and send Danal as well, you will stay at the camp.
J. Something else. Fill in.


When word reaches the people of Tanaach of your trip, more pilgrims want to come, including:

Three old men along with two male relatives, the old men want to die in Baitel. They can pay their way.

Fourteen younger men would be pilgrims of common birth, mostly poor, with few assets to contribute. You will have to fees then.

Three other pilgrims, also young men, brothers. Manhood trials the "old" way have not come back into style in Tanaach. The three brothers are servants at the home of one of the merchants you partied with on your last trip to Tanaach. They were so impressed by the stories of you that they heard in their masters home that night, the very next day they all left for Manhood trials. All 3 successfully survived a month in the wilds, their offerings were nothing remarkable but they did do it. One, the youngest of the three lost an ear to a wolf and is now blind in one eye, in addition to a rather gruesome scar on the side of their face. All three want to join your pilgrimage. They have no assets to contribute, you will have to feed them.

Four young men with tradesmen who have the silver to pay their way.

Absalom, the grand-nephew of King Rimush. He is 20 years old and has five fingers on each hand. He has fine and expensive armor and can pay his way, but is only 6'3. He is not very Blooded at all. Absalom is an apprentice carpenter. Absalom's father, one of Tanaach's Mighty Men gives his consent for Absalom to go. The journey is long and if harm befell him you would likely anger King Rimush. He wants to impress his family by making the pilgrimage.

3. You take...(Pick as many as you like):
K. All of the below.
L. The three old men and two care takers.
M. The fourteen young men.
N. The three brothers.
O. The four craftsmen who can pay their way.
Pa. Absalom.

Pb. Take none of them.

You were also approached by two prostitutes, named Puah and Gomer. Gomer tells you that they are from a city near Baitel and that "Our master was a merchant, we traveled the roads with him. He died of an illness here three years ago and his creditors took his goods. We have been stranded in this backwater ever since! I... we have no silver to pay you but we have heard you are a righteous man, please Hero, will you take us home? We... will make your men gladfull to pay our way."

You are not a taxi, you are leading a merchant caravan and pilgrims. Zebanetha gave you a banner to carry with your group telling the world that this group are under the protection of El's temple and not to be harassed. Would they approve? You asked your priest Ball Jobe for advice and he said that "I... feel for their plight, but I don't think it appropriate." With such a large group, the stigma attached to transporting such women is less, separate from any issues with El's temple. It is up to you to decide if you want to. Are you going to pick up every stray who needs help along the way? There will undoubtedly be others.

4. You told the women that...
Q. No. Turn them down.

R. Accept. Your Balls will probably enjoy some extra companionship.
S. Accept, but tell them there is no charge. You will feed them along the trip.
T. Accept and have them pay by having them cook and clean for your Balls.
S. Something else. Fill in.


5. If there is anything you want to do in Tanaach, fill in.


You can question anyone in your group or Tanaach. If you want more information about your group you can also ask.

I may not have time get to questions until tonight.

Diogines fucked around with this message at May 27, 2014 around 17:20

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


hiddenriverninja posted:

yes! YES to all positive bow related chats and votes

Question for Diog: Is there a way to whisper sweet nothings to our arrows so that they VAYAHI OR on impact?
Esau, the founder of Seir was said to be able to fill the sky with arrows and even shoot flaming arrows, as in, arrows made of fire, not arrows with flaming tips.


If you can....? Who knows. The closest you may have seen was the first minotaur battle when Bareen used a flaming sword?

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh


1 A 3 B 5 C 4 D 2 E 4
2 F Don't chance insulting Rimush by declining his offer.
3 LN We aren't going to just take people even if they have silver. It's about the pilgrimage and those who have earned it in some way, either by being old or by following the old traditions.
4 Q

Question: Suppose some of the people who want to come want to follow us, even if we don't take them ourselves. How feasible is it for them to follow in our wake, relying on proximity for safety? Is it any better than just setting off by themselves?

dyzzy fucked around with this message at May 27, 2014 around 17:09

Cornuto
Jun 26, 2012

For the pack!


1.
A 3 (Speed)
B 4 (Security)
C 2 (Pilgrim Comfort)
D 2 (Ball Comfort)
E 3 (Rationing Food)


2.

Affi posted:

J. Something else. Fill in.
When we reach a city, we will dine with their king and then go back to sleep with our men.

3.
L, N, O, Pa

4.
Q

5.
Avoid baby-mama drama.

Cornuto fucked around with this message at May 27, 2014 around 18:02

Aades
Nov 28, 2005

Guns Up!

1. A-3
B-3
C-3
D-3
E-3

2. F

3. K

4. R

Aades fucked around with this message at May 27, 2014 around 17:12

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.


1) A:3 B:4 C:2 D:4 E:3 Normal pace, high security, low pilgrim comfort, high Ball comfort, Normal food rations. Make sure the guys protecting everyone are happy so they do a good job, pilgrims have to rough it a bit comfort wise but its a pilgrimage not a vacation.

2) F, Accept - dont be rude.

3) LNPa - the old, the real men, and the celebrity of high born status normal men, that's Rimush's job. El shines upon those who help the old and those who sacrificed for El in a manhood trial....and we obviously have to take the VIP.

4) Not voting for 4 yet - Diog, are there any other women on the trip at all?

I'm inclined to bring em and not make them whore their way there - but if they are the only women on an eight and a half month trip.....I think the best option may be to leave them.

Edit: based on there being no other women, I vote for Q . Even if we tell them not to whore, if anyone finds out they are prostitutes, that just reeks of trouble with 100+ men on a holy pilgrimage. Sorry girls.

Task Manager fucked around with this message at May 27, 2014 around 17:19

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


I edited question 1 to make it clear that each is a sliding scale, you can use a number more than once.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree


I do not see why we can't have all 5 interests rated at 3. We have a plan for the trip, we stick to it. Everything is equal, security, comfort, food, speed.

2. F

3. LNP.

4. T. Don't be dicks.

bonus hole boy
Aug 28, 2011


e: oh, well then
1.
A - 3
B - 3
C - 3
D - 3
E - 2


2. F

3. NO VACANCY

4. Q

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007


dyzzy posted:

Question: Suppose some of the people who want to come want to follow us, even if we don't take them ourselves. How feasible is it for them to follow in our wake, relying on proximity for safety? Is it any better than just setting off by themselves?
Marginally better at best. It is not really feasible.


Task Manager posted:

Diog, are there any other women on the trip at all?
None. The longest distances between cities will be at the start of your trip, cities get closer as you get closer to Baitel, if that matters to your decision.

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

A: 3
B: 4
C: 2
D: 4
E: 3

F

LNOP

T


Priorities: Security and the comfort of those who are keeping us secure.

hiddenriverninja
May 10, 2013

life is locomotion
keep moving
trust that you'll find your way


Diogines posted:


shoot flaming arrows, as in, arrows made of fire.


helloooooooooooooooooo new life goal

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Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA


1. You have five competing interests while traveling. Assign each a number between 1 and 5, you can use the same number more than once.

A. 3

B. 2

C. 2

D. 2

E. 2


2. As to King Rimush's invitation you...
J. Something else. Fill in.

When we reach a city, we will dine with their king and then go back to sleep with our men.


3. You take...(Pick as many as you like):
N. The three brothers.
P. Absalom.

We only bring worthy people from this point forward. That means we only bring Absalom if he did the manhood trial the real way.

If we keep to this we won't get bogged down in cities further in. And we'll maybe spread the new old way to do things.

4. You told the women that...
Q. No. Turn them down.

Blech. No thank you.

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