|
Prediction: Dio couldn't take the pressure and reenacted the plot of 'Office Space', only suddenly switching to the first person from Milton's perspective. Did it burn Dio? Were they sorry?
|
#
?
Jul 16, 2013 17:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:28 |
|
|
I'm still waiting to receive my "Full Manual"
|
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2013 05:42
|
|
EVG posted:So, when do we just call it? Not yet. I am still alive, I am sorry, I am just utterly swamped at work.
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 12:55
|
|
|
You awaken to find yourself sitting at a desk filled with papers, an old computer, a phone, and photos of your own family. The photos seem to be filled with color and gives off a sense of euphoria whereas the rest of your surroundings feel terrible and drained of color. Is this what purgatory feels like? Is this purgatory? You are about to check out the computer when you hear several slurping sounds and the heavy wheezing of an man who clearly needs more exercise. Turning around you notice your feet are suctioned to the floor by a layer of thick, mucous like mud. Who would put a swamp in the office? As soon as you get your feet free and turn towards the sound of the man, you are filled with instant dread and a little bit of loathing. Before you stands Dave, a heavy set man in his mid 50s, slightly balding with twinges of grey hair mixed with his dull brown hair. In a low gravely voice Dave says, "Dio, I'm gonna need you to get those TPS reports back to me by the end of the day, we need to be building the synergy for the corporate asset...." You try to listen to the rest of his speech but he has gotten started on the corporate speak that tends to make your mind shut down. What should you do..... A. Attempt to listen really hard to what he is saying. B. Nod and agree with whatever he is saying, hoping he will go away. C. Mumble incoherently about a phone and a fire....do you have matches? D. Forget about him and spend time on the computer. E. Challenge him to a duel for leadership. How's that for corporate ladder climbing!
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 15:48
|
|
|
Things have been calming down slowly and I am hopeful to start up again soon but I have no hard deadline yet. Also. F. I cut my palm with a letter opener and shoot light at him in the name of Asherah!
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 16:17
|
|
|
You cannot take Dave's rambling anymore, day in and day out he has slowly turned your brain into mush with that never ending corporate speak. Reaching over to your desk, you grab the nearest object, a letter opener and cut your hand open. Thrusting your hand towards him, you shout out:  You critically fail and nothing happens except Dave is now covered with speckles of your blood. Surprisingly, Dave laughs and mentions something about going crazy before turning around and starting to walk away. As he slurps down the hallway he turns his head towards you and says, "Oh, and yeaahh, ummmmm, i'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday, got some catch up to do". What do you do: A. Go back to work B. Check out the other cubicles C. Play around on the computer. D. Other
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 16:31
|
|
|
With the letter opener in one hand and a pen in the other, I leap over the cubicle wall and chase him down, his cries for mercy go unheeded as I drive them into his back. I tear his still beating heart out and hold it up to the startled office workers and cry out "NOW I AM CHIEF MATERIALS ALLOCATION MANAGER FOR THE FOURTH DIVISION! WHO SHALL CHALLENGE MY RULE?!? NEVER AGAIN SHALL A TPS REPORT BE WRITTEN UPON PAIN OF DEATH AND ANY MAN WHO TAKES THE LUNCH OF ANOTHER SHALL BE PUT TO DEATH! RETURN TO YOUR CUBES AND INCREASE REVENUE BY TWELVE PERCENT THIS QUARTER OR THE WRATH OF ASHERAH SHALL FALL UPON UPON YOU AS WELL!"
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 18:17
|
|
|
Edit: Double post.
Diogines fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Jul 18, 2013 |
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 18:34
|
|
|
As you look around, you see several of your co-workers peeping over the tops of the cubicles, but for the most part it appears as though nobody truly cares what happened to Dave. As you start to clean yourself off you see a huge hulk of a beast turn the corner from the eastern side of the office and start to stride towards you. It's long shaggy hair sways back and forth as it's massive bulk lumbers along and it's eyes seem to shimmer with a red glow as it stares after you. *Thump* *Sluuuuurp* *Thump* *Sluuuurrp* *Thump* As it nears you it reaches behind it's back and you hear something being unsheathed. Towering over you now, the beast growls and says, "ugghhh, you people are so messy". You now notice that the thing it unsheathed was a broom, which it uses to heave you through the air away from it and then starts to very ineffectively tumble Dave over towards the nearest garbage wall receptacle. As you stand up you find yourself next to the elevator which just now opens and a lady in a dark red dress waves at you from inside. What do you do? A. Get in the elevator B. Explore your office floor. C. Say something to the beast D. Other
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 19:01
|
|
|
July 20th, Asherah Management Seminar - Learn who to sacrifice, how and when - Advanced Hunger management techniques - Master the basics of abuse and intimidation - HR management through blood sacrifice - Basic first aid for lacerations and bleeding - Unleash the fear, rage and hunger or your organization - Human sacrifice as a competitive edge - Minimize collateral damage through our proprietary 'lobster' training and methodology
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 19:04
|
|
|
You forgot - Holding the gate: A team oriented synergistic exercise in bleeding edge leverage solutions. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2013 19:15
|
|
|
You forgot - Reach for a Carrot: Strategies to build and strengthen your relationship with herbivores and the wider omnivore demographic
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2013 13:31
|
|
|
You forgot. -Fish
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2013 23:29
|
|
|
You also forgot: - Falling for Beginners: Leveraging gravity for optimal space-time transit
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2013 23:31
|
|
|
Basscop posted:You forgot. They'll get to fish over dinner. Edit: Everyone forgot team flea :-(
|
|
#
?
Jul 19, 2013 23:33
|
|
|
Hold the grapes!
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2013 00:02
|
|
|
Descend. Is there a good summary post anywhere to look at, since I've been largely too busy to keep up with reading this beyond the first few bits.
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2013 23:32
|
|
|
You are still falling IIRC. Kidding. We are a kid from bumfuck nowhere that had a dick, high-priest-for-the-god-of-eternal-hunger dad, a cold mother and a foreigner nanny that was actually our mother. One day foreigners from the same land as our real mother showed up, killed our dad when he was shooting loving lightning at them, after he stabbed himself with a shark tooth. We promptly swiped that tooth when our dad fell headless. Then we found out that the freaking king of <place name> has "rescued" us and we are heading for the <place name>. Hijinks ensue, but I don't remember that part too well.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2013 02:40
|
|
|
Sojenus posted:Descend. Aw, what happened to your kickin' falling avatar etc.?
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2013 02:58
|
|
|
Theglavwen posted:Aw, what happened to your kickin' falling avatar etc.? I... don't know? Lost in the void? I didn't get rid of it myself so I have no idea.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2013 03:28
|
|
|
The void giveth, the void taketh away. Was it ever really there? Or was it just the endless nothing playing tricks on your broken feeble mind?
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2013 05:56
|
|
|
Work has calmed down. Your regularly schedule program resumes this weekend, possibly even tonight! I again thank everyone for their patience.
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 15:23
|
|
|
Rejoice for he is risen! Iä!! Iä!! Diogenes fhtagn!!
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 15:35
|
|
|
Diogines posted:Work has calmed down. Thank goodness! If I had to cut my hand to pray any longer, I probably would have had even more lasting damage to my tendons and my psyche and my uhuehuehuehueh 
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 16:00
|
|
|
Tease.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 16:15
|
|
|
Holdin' the Gate, Boss.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 17:16
|
|
|
I still can't do those vote counts, on account of being out in Kingston on military training. But I look forward to the next update. 
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 17:37
|
|
|
HiHo ChiRho posted:Thank goodness! If I had to cut my hand to pray any longer, I probably would have had even more lasting damage to my tendons and my psyche and my uhuehuehuehueh drat it you, he's just going to eat us now when he comes back.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 17:42
|
|
|
Where did we leave off? Are there any gates being held?
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 18:20
|
|
|
All gates are always being held all the time IIRC
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 18:21
|
|
|
It's aliiiiiiiive! I figure we have been incapacitated the last several weeks after having decided to explore the wonders of drinking poisons.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 18:29
|
|
|
The wild adventures of Enkidel resume on the morrow! Spending the night re-reading the thread to make sure I keep everything straight with my notes.
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2013 23:50
|
|
|
Diogines is risen, and all is good again. Glad that work calmed down for you.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2013 00:43
|
|
|
Diogines posted:The wild adventures of Enkidel resume on the morrow! Diogines is dead! Long live Diogines! Seriously though man, I love these threads and it's great that you're back writing them.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2013 19:38
|
|
|
We may have a final delay, till tomorrow, sorry >< Last remnant of long work hours! May go up tonight!
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2013 22:55
|
|
|
"Danal!" you say, pointing to him. "Enkidel!" you say, pointing to yourself. Danal seems to understand but he shakes his head. "Labaras! Enkidel!" he insist. You shake your head again, then raises his hands in front of him indicating he wants to fight you over it! You raise your own hands, then grabs his spin him around you in a circle, he laughs in a high pitch and consents. You play with Danal in the forest for perhaps two hours, running around, climbing trees, looking for ancient treasure and slaying imaginary monsters. Part way through your games he INSIST that you are now playing Labaras and Enkidu, you manage to come to a compromise, Labaras and Enkidel, he of course, picking Labaras. You are joined during this time by some sort of small animal weighing maybe four pounds. It seemed to have noticed your play and seemed interested in the two of you. After being handed a few nuts by you, Danal's idea, it has stuck around and is currently perched on Danal's shoulder. Danal named it "Monkey", teaching you the word at the same time.  This sort of animal did not live in the forest near your village, but you have been traveling for over a week and the forest has changed. The trees and other plantlife are dense and the chorus of insects, animals and other birds is unceasing. As you and Danal finish slaying another dread monster, you think you hear something different. You motion Danal to be still for a moment. He goes "WRAAAAAGH!" as if he was giving the imaginary monster a final and terrible blow. Monkey beats it's chest and mimics Danal's cry as best as it can. You motion Danal to be silent again and he finally is. You hold your breath and listen. You hear it again. Danal does not give any indication he has heard anything. A sound that may be singing or beautiful music unlike any you have ever heard before. If the densely packed trees are not tricking you, the sound is coming someplace to the east, well beyond the glow of the campfire, which is now a small bright speck in the distance, close enough to keep your bearing but you hoped, far enough away so that the noise of your nightime adventure does not get you caught. You are brave heroes and do not fear the dangers of the forest! You indicate by gestures to Danal that you want him to follow you, though he does not appear to hear whatever it is you believe you have heard. Danal does as you wish and follows you as you set off east, towards the beautiful sounds. You keep your bearings as best as you are able and are very probably not lost. You arrive at the edge of a clearing in the forest. The moon shines down brightly upon the clearing and what is inside is... very different than anything you have seen before.  Is it a series of tree grown together or some sort of large structure made of stone. It may be both and is perhaps fifty or sixty feet tall. Danal looks to you and asks you a question which, despite the language barrier is very probably "What is that?" The sound which drew you hear appears to have stopped, but the moonlight glows bright overhead. Monkey leaps off of Danals shoulder and runs towards the structure which is about a hundred yards ahead. Danal yells what is very probably "Monkey! Come back!" and takes off after his new friend, chasing him. You are taller and swifter than Danal and won't have any difficulty catching up to him before he reaches the structure. You decide to.... A. Run with Danal towards the structure! B. Stop Danal and tell him to wait at the edge of the clearing, you will go look at the structure more closely, alone. C. Stop Danal and tell him to go back to the Camp, you will go look at the structure more closely, alone. D. Stop Danal and take him back to the camp, you will both sneak back to sleep and not tell anyone what you found. E. Stop Danal and take him back to the camp, you will tell the adults what you found. F. Stop Danal and then say or yell something out towards the forest or towards the structure(Fill in). G. Do something else (Fill in) If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up. If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2013 02:05
|
|
|
HOLD THE GATE.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2013 02:17
|
|
|
E. Call for backup.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2013 02:21
|
|
|
I'm thinking E too, but I'm open for convincing. And welcome back Diog!
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2013 02:35
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:28 |
|
|
B Assholes put children in danger, heroes get into trouble.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2013 02:44
|
|