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RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Diog

If we run parallel to the beach will we run towards another body of water?

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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

HiHo ChiRho posted:

The club is 4 feet and heavy. I don't think Snarls can keep a good enough grip to hold onto it due to it's size and weight.

I am confirming this to be the case.


RandomPauI posted:

Diog

If we run parallel to the beach will we run towards another body of water?

4 days north, maybe the river that flows west from Zepath if you are lucky? It could be further north.

You know of none south. If Snarls was not in pain you might be able to ask him, but he is no condition to smell for it.

falcon2424
May 2, 2005

1B.
2X

Drop the stick. We can replace it easily.

If the critter still gains we can ditch/sacrifice the other stuff. It can be replaced.

Dogs and souls are much harder to replace. We should try to get out of this without selling either.

Rahul
Dec 10, 2004

How tired are we? If we drop the club, snatch up snarls, how long can we run? Long enough to get well into the scrub?

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Rahul posted:

How tired are we? If we drop the club, snatch up snarls, how long can we run? Long enough to get well into the scrub?

You are young, long limbed and in rather good shape. If you have to run for your life to get to the scrubland, you could do it.

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

B, X

Note that this thing is OVERSHOOTING us. It is freakishly strong and/or getting closer. Drop club, grab dog, and RUN YOU PIGFUCKERS RUN! Get it to the scrubland.

Rahul
Dec 10, 2004

In that case BX. It still looks like we have a chance of out running this thing. If we sacrifice the pearls now it means that all we've done so far has pretty much been for nothing.
I also don't know how well it will reflect on us if we have to beg El or the Melachim to intercede directly. We were warned that this could happen when we went to the sea, and sure enough it did. We got ourselves in this mess so I feel we really need to do all we can to get ourselves out of it.

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!
B X

Snarls can't be that heavy. 20-30 kgs maybe?

I know the hugest of dogs can get up and over 60kg but snarls wasn't ever that big.
We are over 2 meters tall and going by previous descriptions, pretty buff.
We can carry him and still go fast.

edit: accidentally voted E X but changed it. Making a note just in case.

Basscop fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Oct 22, 2013

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Let's try BX and we can evaluate from there.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

1. D
2. X

Everything is replaceable but Snarls and our offerings, and our offerings aren't important enough to risk him. Drop everything. From here on out the Road Runner is our personal hero; let's Mee-Meep-Zip-Bang the hell out of here!

(Oh no I'm really starting to get worried about Snarls now! :ohdear:)

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Diog

How easy or hard would it be to pick up snarls while carrying the club?

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

RandomPauI posted:

Diog

How easy or hard would it be to pick up snarls while carrying the club?

Hard. It is a thick, four foot tree branch with spikes on one end and you need a full hand to carry it. You could, but it will slow you down and unbalance you. If you trip while carrying it and Snarls and either of you fall on it... well, lets not think about it?

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
BX seems like the best bet. I'll miss our special spikes, but we can go kill some super jackals later.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
We can't kill another beast, but we can't replace Snarls.

Drop the club, carry Snarls. Maybe we'll get lucky and we can find it again

We don't necessarily have to go to the alter empty handed. We could still make a contract with El swearing that we will slay the demon. How does this read?

"El.

Through your grace you delivered me from temptation in the desert.
With your strength I slew a monster in the form of a jackal.

But I ran from the demon at the shore.
And I failed to return with a bounty from the oceans.

I will return to complete the task in your name.
But I must ask your patience until I have the means to do so."

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
We can also tell El to suck on a healthy dick. At this rate we're going to be offering him the corpse of our beloved dog.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe

Sogol posted:

E suit up. Carry snarls on one shoulder or around our neck since we will be more mobile.

G & T

EL HA MELECH KOL HA OLAM! VAYAHI OR!

This is not done with some huge preparation, it is merely done out of immediate necessity and without hesitation or thought.

Snarls is hurt. We are pissed and very focused. We have had it with this gibbering loving horror.

This is shouted, facing the direction of the thing with intent of smiting the poo poo out of it. It is trespassing. loving thing. Make a full on smiting gesture with the club.

X. Then head for the scrubland at our best pace where it has neither ammo nor ready made tentacle holds, should it still be following (which seems likely at this point). Some zigging and zagging may be in order.

This is really, incredibly dumb and suicidal... but it feels right.

Throwing my vote in for this.

I don't really hope this option wins or anything. I just feel like I'd be lying to myself if I voted otherwise.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Sogol posted:

E suit up. Carry snarls on one shoulder or around our neck since we will be more mobile.

G & T

EL HA MELECH KOL HA OLAM! VAYAHI OR!

This is not done with some huge preparation, it is merely done out of immediate necessity and without hesitation or thought.

This is a prayer. It is not asking for El to fix a boo-boo. It is said with full intent and fury to incinerate that loving thing by whatever means.

Just sayin' that all the difference between your vote and mine (besides suiting up which I'm going to change) is the choice of using our sacrificing stuff now instead of in Zepath. If smashing the skull and the pearls can give us an extra edge in getting help, why not go all the way now?

OhYo
Apr 14, 2006

UnassemblyRequired posted:

F with modifications.

Smash the jackal skull and pearls on a consecrated rock.

"El, I offer you my passage to manhood to save this innocent life that I have so foolishly endangered!. Please lend me your aid to smite this abomination that encroaches on your land! EL HA MELECH!"

HiHo ChiRho posted:

Changing my vote to this. Smash the pearls with the jackal skull! If we get out of this alive, I think it is a safe bet that we will pull a Tudiya and just lay our head onto the altar and pledge our life to El.

Come to think of it, we don't know the real reason why Tudiya had no other items to offer when he came back...
I'm voting this also. Some supernatural thing will need to happen, not our mortal legs running. If we're compelled to VAYAHI OR! then direct it the monster's way.

I guess technically this is: F & T

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013
1. B
2. W

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

Okay guys we're calling this thing Eyescream now.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




UnassemblyRequired posted:

Okay guys we're calling this thing Eyescream now.

This works for me. When we're telling Ishamal about how it rose from the depths to chase us, we'll need a name for it, and Eyescream is nice and descriptive on several levels.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




B X Goodbye, new club. We hardly knew ye.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
1. B, 2. X

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
1:B/U. Mostly B, pick up Snarls, toss the club, but also try miracle healing, you know, just on the off chance. Touch his leg while carrying him and hope really hard.
2: X. Yeah.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
Diog: How far exactly have we run from the beach?

Can we see the monster yet?

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Guys, I'd like to point out that we have never run as fast as we can in this sequence. We were outrunning it while we were doing like a 5/10 or whatever the ultimate outcome of that vote was.

Snarls will encumber us a bit, but I think we will still be able to outrun Eyescream with him and dropping the club. We can likely endure longer too, since it's of the ocean and it's not in the ocean.

Crudus
Nov 14, 2006

B/X

Under no circumstances dedicate our life to El. Lesser offerings are okay though.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Diog: How far exactly have we run from the beach?

Can we see the monster yet?

You are a few hundred meters from the edge of the treeline, west of you. You cannot see the monster, it is somewhere behind you, close enough you can hear it screaming and uprooting trees, but far enough that you cannot see it, possibly as close as a few hundred meters, maybe a mile? It is coming after you and intends to do horrible things to you when it gets there.

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.
1)B
2)X

Drop the club, need to keep everything else. Can reevaluate next round if we need to drop more. Snarls takes priority.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
H, X

If we get caught let's hope it just eats us.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
Death by nibbles!

falcon2424
May 2, 2005

FoxTerrier posted:

Alright, the tree thing is a lot like what happened last time we fled Asherian wrath with Tudiya (although perhaps a bit more intense--great). But it's still basically par for the course. We just gotta keep moven' inland as fast as we can.

I've been thinking about this, and it's making me wonder if Tudiya's seen Snappy the eldrich horror before. Not because he ran. But because he seemed to know when we were safe to stop running.

I kinda hope so. It'll make our pearl diving story that much better.

E: Though, part of me wants to re-tell the story to Tudiya as if this thing was a childhood pet that happened to turn.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

1. B
2. X

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

falcon2424 posted:

E: Though, part of me wants to re-tell the story to Tudiya as if this thing was a childhood pet that happened to turn.

I'm down with trolling Tudiya as much as we can.

Alsom what if after this is done we went back to Anthar, and assuming uncle Jorah is still around we make a deal. You guys collect as many of those worthless pearls for us, and we'll give you all these shiny magic knives and some four legged hairbeasts. Win win.

John_A_Tallon
Nov 22, 2000

Oh my! Check out that mitre!
We have a lead. We can afford to get dressed so we can carry Snarls. If we make it to the scrubland we'll likely be in Azzazel's domain (since he claims the wastelands). We'll probably be able to get his attention.

What we'll do with his attention after is another question; he may want more than we're really willing to pay to deal with that monster. But the scrubland is a pretty sure bet, even without Azzazel's help.

1. E.
2. x.

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

UppaTree posted:

B, X

Note that this thing is OVERSHOOTING us. It is freakishly strong and/or getting closer. Drop club, grab dog, and RUN YOU PIGFUCKERS RUN! Get it to the scrubland.

Voting plan RUN YOU PIGFUCKERS RUN!

Skanky Burns
Jan 9, 2009
B X. Lets just get some distance between us and Eyescream. Getting dressed can wait.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands
Right, then.

Voting 1. B, 2. X

We MIGHT have time to get dressed, and it could indeed be a good long-term investment since it allows us to run faster (with fewer worries about dropping stuff, for that matter), but right at the moment that means we're going to be closer to the monster and his tree-throwing shenanigans. We can get dressed once we hit the scrublands, can see how far away we are exactly from the beast, and don't have to worry about poo poo getting thrown at us.

But yeah, ultimately we haven't really been giving this thing our legs yet. Time to push it to the limit!

Also voting that we tell Snarls it's going to be all right. Poor little guy is terrified, he could use some reassurance and the act of reassuring someone else could help calm us down, too.

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
Guys, why are you voting to drop the spiked club. Surely the better option is to lob that thing at Eyescream and hope the spikes manage to pierce some of its eyes. The thing is a third the size of our city and we're a ridiculously tall and muscular guy with hypersensitive vision and hearing. I'm sure we'll manage to hit something and do at least some damage. It's not like throwing the club will take that much more time compared to just dropping it, and if we're going to abandon it anyway we might as well try to get at least some use out of it.

1V. Smash all the smashable offerings on a consecrated rock, then pull a Tudiya and offer a lifetime service to El. Then mutter a short prayer and lob the spiked club at the Eldritch abomination's eyes.

Zybourne Clock fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Oct 22, 2013

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Daned
Jan 14, 2008

1.T Bring on the fire and the fury, we have to deal with the monster to save snarls.

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