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Walrusmaster
Sep 21, 2009

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

The dog must be named Snarls Barkley

If we can't have beaky, then I can begrudgingly accept Snarls Barkley.

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Paradox Personified
Mar 15, 2010

:sun: SoroScrew :sun:

Walrusmaster posted:

If we can't have beaky, then I can begrudgingly accept Snarls Barkley.

You better. :colbert:

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

The dog must be named Snarls Barkley

Sure, this.

ArbitraryTA
May 3, 2011

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

The dog must be named Snarls Barkley

This is the only true path.

XOXO
Mar 8, 2013

Ask me about being weaker than a 60 year-old British woman.

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

The dog must be named Snarls Barkley

Voting this. I didn't think it had a chance earlier.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

The dog must be named Snarls Barkley

Oh, this is much better. Changing my vote from Beaky to Snarls Barley.

Trundel
Mar 13, 2005

:10bux: + :awesomelon: = :roboluv:
- a sound investment!

Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

The dog must be named Snarls Barkley

Why must you have the best plans? Changing my vote from Beaky to this.

Grabpot Thundergust
Jul 6, 2010
Jumping on the Snarls Barkley train.

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010

Trundel posted:

Why must you have the best plans? Changing my vote from Beaky to this.

My idea's been usurped :v: all my hopes and dreams shattered forever!!!

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


I look forward to playing with Snarls Barkley

Schizotek
Nov 8, 2011

I say, hey, listen to me!
Stay sane inside insanity!!!
I vote to name the puppy Brisket.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Feeling under the weather, sorry for the delay people.

We may get an update tonight but if not, tomorrow we will.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

Schizotek posted:

I vote to name the puppy Brisket.

Oh, that's cold. How about Emergency Food?

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

I vote that we name it after our false God, Asherah.

Nettle Soup fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Jun 1, 2013

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe

Diogines posted:

Feeling under the weather, sorry for the delay people.

We may get an update tonight but if not, tomorrow we will.

Take a couple of days off and get yourself well. You've been doing this for nearly a year now. I don't think people will kill you if you take a break for a bit.

circ dick soleil
Sep 27, 2012

by zen death robot
Snarls Barkley, I guess.

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009
I suggest we wait to meet the puppy before deciding if it is a Jorah or a Snarls Barkley.

nonrev
Jul 15, 2012




snarles barkley is a wonderful name for a dog.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Much as I liked the idea of harassing and demeaning Barkof by naming a dog after him, Snarls Barkley is the best of the top picks, changing my vote.

UppaTree
May 4, 2013

Looks like we have a winner, so just on principle, I'm casting my vote to NOT name our dog Asherah.

What were you thinking, throwing our god's name on some kind've monstrous, carnivorous hunting beast?

Oh, oh right...

Schizotek
Nov 8, 2011

I say, hey, listen to me!
Stay sane inside insanity!!!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Oh, that's cold. How about Emergency Food?

Its the nickname I gave my boxer puppy IRL :(. He looks like a big gangly brisket with legs. :3:

Natalie Fartman
Apr 5, 2013

I selflessly rescued an abandoned cat during the COVID-19 Pandemic :3:

Another vote for Snarls Barkley I guess.

I dislike naming it Jorah because I don't like the idea of calling a dog after a person I miss. Maybe that's just me.

Professor Malice
Nov 16, 2011
I'm going to vote Snarls Barkley hoping we can just call him Snarls for short.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

A Terrible Person posted:

Take a couple of days off and get yourself well. You've been doing this for nearly a year now. I don't think people will kill you if you take a break for a bit.

This x2000. Thanks for all the work you put into this, Diog. :)

Nolaterif
Jan 10, 2003

Yes on the dog because puppy doggles are lovely and adorable and cute, and I like Pagah as the name even if it likely won't win.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

I am aiming for an update tonight. Sorry about the lapse! Did anyone do a tally on the name vote?

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010

If no one has I'll zip through and count when I get home, I'm out at the mall but shouldn't take me more than 30-45 minutes to get home.

E: Vote will be done in a few minutes.

Successful Businessmanga fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Jun 3, 2013

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

An update will go up within an hour or so, depending on when we get the count. If possible we may get a morning update also, if enough people weigh in this afternoon and tonight but if not, the next one after that will be tomorrow night. Our regular schedule resumes!

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010

Our winner is Snarls Barkley at 22 votes with Jorah in second at 14. You've all made my life long dream of suggesting a winning free form answer! My life is complete. :swoon:

Sorry that took so long I had to run some errands on my way back home.

Successful Businessmanga fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Jun 3, 2013

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Danal promises he will give you a puppy when you reach your new home and asks you what you will name it. With your mother helping to interpret, you tell him you are going to name it Snarls Barkley.

Danal giggles and through your mother tells you that "That is a silly name for a puppy!"

During a brief chat with the King, you ask him who his son is. You discover the young Danal riding upon your shoulders is his only son.

You adjust his age in your mind again based upon his actions and his size and realize he is tall for his age, being the son of Tudiya who is the largest man you have ever seen. You realize Danal is very probably only five or six.

Eventually he hops down. Your band continues to walk through the forest, which is rapidly changing from the sort of forest you are familiar with. The palm trees which you are familiar with are still in evidence but are giving way to other sorts of trees. Everyone walks, except for Danal who takes occasional breaks to ride one of the donkeys, or on your shoulders.

You spent most of the rest of the day trying to keep pace with him as he pointed to things and said their names in the outsider tongue. He went far too fast but you did pick up a few new words.

That night, your group make camp.







Your band is assembled around a fire. Barkof makes an exaggerated gesture to show you what fire is, as if you did not know, which the Outsider men find hilarious. After the laughter dies down, you all sit in a circle around the fire. You sit next to your mother. It is dark. Darker than you are used to. In the village there are always a few fires burning in the square and the perimeter, even in the middle of the night. You can hear wild animals far off as they move through the night and you imagine that the monsters of your mother's many stories each hide behind trees, just beyond the light cast by the fire, skulking through the shadows.







As you requested, Tudiya tells you more of El. Your mother begins to interpret, but after a few words he indicates she does not need to, for as he speaks, you can again feel his words as if they had weight and depth, as if you could reach out and touch them.

"In the beginning there was naught but El who dwelt in void and sat in silence.

On the First Day El crafted Paradise and filled Paradise with the Melachim. The Melachim sung the glories of El and, it was good.

On the Second Day El crafted a new place. Over it was placed the sky and beneath, land and what lay between was filled with water and, it was good.







On the Third day El waived His hand across the world and where it passed came plants of every sort and the creatures of the land and sea and sky and, it was good.
"

Is it your imagination or are the beasts and monsters far beyond your camp fire growing mute? The world seems to be going silent as you listen to the King's story, his words the only sounds you hear.

"On the Fourth day the Melachim descended upon the world to slay Leviathan, Dragoom, Quetzatl, Ogar and Asharak to prepare the way for what was to come and, it was good.

On the fifth day El reached into his flesh and placed a man and a woman upon the world and, it was good.

On the sixth day, man covered the world and prayed to the sun and moon and stars and to the beasts of the field.


Are Tudiya's eyes aflame or do they simply reflect the camp fire? The tall man seems to be growing taller before your eyes. You could not turn away if you tried. Tudiya seems to be exuding a gentle white light at the edges of his body, or is it your imagination?

"On the seventh day was born Labaras and, it was good.

On the eighth day Labaras turned his back upon the sun, moon, stars and beasts of the field and left the tents of his fathers to search for El and, it was good.

On the ninth day, Labaras spoke with El and raised up the House of El and, it was good.

On the tenth day, El rested.
"

The King seems to be normal size again and is not glowing, his eyes are not aflame and you feel as if you can again move. Everyone else is smiling and seems rather happy and no one gives any indication anything odd at all has occurred. Was it your imagination?

Tudiya lets out a tired yawn and speaks further, in the outsider tongue. Your mother interprets quietly for you, as a large spit of meat is placed on the fire. You get plenty of fish but little meat in your diet a rare treat!

"Sweetling, he says on this tenth day, let us bow our heads and give thanks to El for the food we will enjoy this night and to give thanks for protection from demons and beasts."

The others bow their heads and say words you don't understand, even the servant woman, Danal and your mother.


You... PLEASE ONLY PICK ONE:

OPTION A - Bow your head and pray as Tudiya instructed you to, to El.

OPTION B - Bow your head and pray time El but do not mean it and only do so to make the others happy.

OPTION C - Bow your head and pray to El, but are not sure what to believe.

OPTION D - Bow your head and pretend to pray quietly but say nothing.

OPTION E - Do not bow your head, do not pray.

OPTION F - Bow your head and pray to Asherah.

OPTION G - As they pray, make a run for the forest and try to run in the direction you hope is home!

OPTION H - Something else - Specify what. Edit: I included what I thought would be the most popular options, but a number of people wanted to maintain the worship of both El and Asherah, which you can do, you can do anything you want to, that would be H, but specify that is what you are doing, if you vote H, thanks.


ONLY PICK ONE OF THE FOLLOWING IF YOU DECIDE TO PICK ANY, WHICH YOU YOU DO NOT HAVE TO. ONE OF THE FOLLOWING CAN BE COMBINED WITH ANY CHOICE ABOVE.


OPTION I - It has been a very long and very strange day but your mother has been through all of it with you. Only now do you truly appreciate what she has had to endure, watching others claim you as their own your entire life. Lean over, give your mother a hug and tell her how much you love her.

OPTION J - You have always been alone. You have never had a friend before in your entire life but now you have Danal who seems to have immediately accepted you as if he always knew you. Tell Danal he is your best friend and that you will always be friends.

OPTION K - Your entire life you have felt as if you did not fit in. Athar was never your home and it's people never accepted you as one of their own. Because never were. You are finally going home. You have finally been rescued. You owe it all to Tudiya. You thank him sincerely.

OPTION L - The grief of losing all you have once known, Jorah, the sea itself and your very life stripped away finally overcomes you and replaced by strange things and strange people. You cry in grief.

OPTION M - You are Og, son of Shushem. Your father has been murdered and your god, Asherah, defied and mocked. Look at the fire in anger and nurse your hatred. Your father shall be avenged and you will bring the fury of Asherah upon Zepath. One day.

OPTION N - It has been a very strange day but you do not know how to feel. You do not do any of the above.

I, J, K, L, M and N are optional, you can include with the other options, or skip them. Please only pick one option between I and N if you decide to pick any of them.




If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up.

If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

Diogines fucked around with this message at 22:37 on May 1, 2014

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012






As far as J goes, I think it is probably a good idea to get to know the future king. Tudiya is a good man, and deserves our thanks. However, Danal is our future and will likely be someone that we journey with often.

OhYo
Apr 14, 2006


Bow your head and pray as Tudiya instructed you to, to El. Give faith in El a sincere chance. No reason to tiptoe into Zepath life. We've gone this far already. I'm going to bank on them till I see otherwise.

Your entire life you have felt as if you did not fit in. Athar was never your home and it's people never accepted you as one of their own. Because never were. You are finally going home. You have finally been rescued. You owe it all to Tudiya. You thank him sincerely. By no means are any Zepites trying to fool us or dissuade us. They've acted quite normal and in-line with what Jalitha has told us our whole life. We owe Tudiya.

Althair
Jul 26, 2006
words are weapons

Paradox Personified
Mar 15, 2010

:sun: SoroScrew :sun:

SerSpook posted:



As far as J goes, I think it is probably a good idea to get to know the future king. Tudiya is a good man, and deserves our thanks. However, Danal is our future and will likely be someone that we journey with often.

Going with this as my vote.

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010

Pray to El and Asherah as we've always done.

I'm filled with emotion! Let's set the pot to simmer and one day flash boil all over this town.

Successful Businessmanga fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Jun 4, 2013

Canuck-Errant
Oct 28, 2003

MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS
Grimey Drawer
I added additional vote icons up to N. Maybe I should've made M an angrier colour... anyway:

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

SerSpook posted:



As far as J goes, I think it is probably a good idea to get to know the future king. Tudiya is a good man, and deserves our thanks. However, Danal is our future and will likely be someone that we journey with often.

This.

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

We have the tools, we have the talent!





&

We're playing the long game, bitches! :black101:

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
Bow our heads and silently pray to both El and Asherah, as we always have.

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dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
A + I

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