Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

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Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

I just finished reading this thread and it was amazing. The only thing left unsatisfied is Ishamal and the three whatever's need to be :black101:

the endless amounts of "yeah we'll tell you about X which you have to deal with right now when you're older," seemed to cause way more harm than any benefit it provided. Also guy in a box seemed to not be familiar with Mt. Har at all which is odd considering he's a half-melachim.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2016 20:08

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 23:28

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Tsyni posted:

Diog lied, Enkidel died.

Did he? I think its the perfect setup for him to get some divine justice against a bunch of people.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2016 12:12

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Hopefully thats a yes to smiting Ishamal.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2016 14:23

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Cannon_Fodder posted:

Smiting Ishamal!? I heartily disagree. That dude put up with a ton of our bullshit and tried to keep Ur from ending via our stupidity. I see no reason to smite Ishmal besides the "gently caress you, dad" attitude that we gathered from withheld information.

It seems like he caused us a lot of trouble since his "nope not telling you until you're older/have wisdom," stance lead to so much trouble that could have been avoided.

the_steve posted:

I don't necessarily want him smote, I just want him to own up to his mistakes. A fair portion of problems came from the fact that he wouldn't tell us anything until it was too late for us to do anything about it, and even then, he wouldn't really tell us much.
If he would have let us make informed decisions instead of keeping us in the dark until the last minute and then putting us on the spot with no information , we would have avoided a ton of the poo poo we ended up stumbling into anyways.

This was basically what I think except might as well smite him now that we're divine or at least do something to hilariously inconvenience him.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 18:49

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

I did not realize how stupid the breathing thing was until I read that recap. Did a melachim literally get eaten?

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 20:00

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

I prefered ??? = pie.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2016 01:09

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Can we make a gigantic death ~~robot~~ golem and use it to kill all the stuff between us and Zepath?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 14:03

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Can we use it to build a gigantic furnace/altar around Gebek's house and sacrifice him? He has to have way more soul juice than the rest of them and we could probably make something better.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 16:03

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

S - This seems to be the option that does the most good. Get some kids a second chance and get the gently caress out of evil-giant-demon-ville.

J - Convince the adults that EL has sent us to free them and that they are to further ELs will by freeing other villages. Arm them with whatever extra weapons we might have at let them go to town. Give whatever advice we can then assure them that their children will be safe and free.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 23:11

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Perhaps we can use being noticed to our advantage. Can we create something amazing that would attract the attention of great and terrible powers but, use some sort of celestial camouflage to make them think what they are noticing is something they fear like a freed Ashera?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 23:22

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Grognan posted:

That could be an hysterically bad bluff if called.

True but, who's going to call it? Certainly not Smythos or any of them since they wouldn't even respond to Taanach's problems.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 23:26

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Re the second vote:

quote:

A. Whatever I voted for in #1 resolves this issue, so this isn't a problem.
B. I truly don't think the Amalakites are going to go to war with Ur over this or chase us down. In which case, this also isn't a problem. Aftet all, the distance huge and the Melachim at home, scary powerful?
C. I don't want to deal with this problem now. I refuse to plan.

D. I tell the Gebebans to flee into the monster filled wilderness, where monsters will almost surely kill them all. The giants won't know then what happened.
E. If I rescue the kids, I convince the rest to commit mass suicide to hide the secret of where the kids went. I tell the parents their children will only be safe if they take the secret to their graves. I'm pretty persuasive and most of the Gebebans think I'm a god anyway.
F. I convince the Gebebans to commit mass suicide, telling them it is a better fate than being eaten by the giants.
G.I convince the Gebebans to commit mass suicide, telling them it is a better fate than being eaten by the giants and that they will go to El.

H. I think the Amalakites will find out what happened for some reason, even without questioning the Gebebans so this is a non issue for me.

I. I leave them behind and have no plan.

J. Something else. Fill in.

Assuming the vote is not something that makes A the obvious choice; I don't think any of the options where we coerce them to kill themselves are a good idea. We don't what the surroundings are and while they may be dangerous EL works in mysterious ways and they could escape to better lives. Additionally I don't think they can bring anything to assault Zepath because they would have to trek through the same demon filled wilderness that we would have to get through without the aid of magic teleports. The attrition caused by that and the strength of everyone in Zepath would not give the giants good odds. Finally we don't want to be in a situation where they all killed themselves and their souls are stuck their in a nice blue mist cloud hence I feel options E-F-G are off the table.

I, H, B and C are neutral results at best and selfish at the worst which will have the people we think are thrilled with us, EL and company, much less thrilled with us.

That leaves us with D which isn't too terrible of a plan as it gives the people a chance at survival and freedom. It also benefits us by creating a large distraction we can slip away with.

I'm not enthralled with any of those plans so I'd like to put for my own plan:

J - Convince the adults that EL has sent us to free them and that they are to further ELs will by freeing other villages. Arm them with whatever extra weapons we might have at let them go to town. Give whatever advice we can then assure them that their children will be safe and free.

We're showing mercy to the children by taking them to safety and decreasing the surplus mass we have which should also decrease the chances of a teleportation mishap. We're leaving behind a huge problem for the giants because guerilla warfare is a pain to deal with and it could be the start of a giant-empire wide human revolt. It also leaves us with some groups we can reach out to if we want to return later for more loot and giant-demon crafting. We also get the benefits of there being a distraction behind us and the people remaining are near where their supplies are so they aren't going to starve to death.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 00:41

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Diogines posted:

These people are puny even by Donut standards. It is highly improbable they could take down any giants.

Probably not directly but, with a little subterfuge they could do some damage. Set a bunch of traps, make some poison and wait for an opportune moment.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 00:51

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

This, we should start a massive forest fire.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 21:39

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Tell the adults we have the ability to save their children and that they will be taken to safety away from these terrible giants where they can live out their lives in peace. Let the adults know that they are now free and that their future rests with their future choices. Give the adults an overview of their options:

They can wait for the giants to return,
They can flee however the wilds surrounding this area are dangerous,
They can form a resistance against the giants however it will be difficult.

Tell our Balls that mercy is never misplaced and that we must do as much good as we can which means we must sacrifice much of our loot. Emphasize something about El favoring sacrifices that were difficult to earn since it was very difficult and cost us a lot to get all this stuff. Keep the scrolls and plants.

Finally with what little time we have try to teach those that want to resist how to make traps and what plants around may be poisonous so they may best attempt to fight back against the giants.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 15:26

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

D El seems to appreciate free will to the extreme so give the Gebebians the ability to choose what happens to themselves.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 23:10

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Perhaps that bird thing that was with the snake people was a demon?

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 02:34

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

its time to go the gently caress home and invent the lightsaber or something from all these scrolls.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 15:07

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

1. Hi, Jael don't worry I am hungry but, I'm not going to eat you. I need some answers here though this cryptic thing is just plain not working. Just look what happened this time we went out to find some answers and your bosses sent you to deliver some bad news. Who are you delivering this message for? Make sure this is a good answer Jael since I am hungry and you aren't on the menu yet. - Maybe a little not so subtle coercion can get us some answers.

2. A - they're going to bring us some kind of consolation and instructions after this so lets give the border patrol what they want.

3. F - Wouldn't be the first time we've done something like what David did and if he does it again we can sit down for a chat and bring this up.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 02:55

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Xun posted:

eat jael

I like this plan.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:01

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Jael can I just give these scrolls back to Amok?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:18

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Jael what is the best way to cook a melachim?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:22

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Jael can I have a copy of that tablet, there are a lot of instructions and I'm not sure I can remember them all?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:26

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Diogines posted:

"I can't give it to you. Sorry. I can repeat it if you like?"

Okay please repeat that tablet without stuttering and freaking out also repeat it again to me when we get into Zepath.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:32

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Diogines posted:

"I'm not coming with you."

Why not Jael? You can keep an eye on us for your bosses.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:36

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Diogines posted:

"Its not my job to come with you."

Are you sure I can have Naomi whip up a nice meal?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:39

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Going to add my vote to Thank Jael since eating Jael isn't getting anywhere.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:41

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Q - Let him run for now. Next time we can make one of those giant soul orb things and trap him in it then ask him why we don't poop for the rest of eternity.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:46

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Mr. Nemo posted:

Why the hell does people want to thank him.

They are stealing Amok's stuff. They are the bad guys.

This is their problem and when Amok comes by for his stuff we point him in their direction. Then enjoy the fireworks.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:49

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

also, iirc Amok said keep fighting and if we get permanently detained we won't be able to fight anymore

Good point I had forgotten about that. I don't think Amok can rescue us from Melachim jail.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 03:52

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with diluting the blood of Labaras. They don't want any of that to happen so they want to keep the Gebebians segregated.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 04:03

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Don't we own Kadovel? I think from what the tablets said those rules only apply in places owned by Zepa and I don't think Zepa owns Kadovel.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 04:05

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Jael will you be my friend?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 04:07

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Algid posted:

We can't wear it anymore, and we can't punch stuff with it, what are we supposed to do with it now?

Ask Jael (and our hat): Can I use the laurels to painlessly and bloodlessly slaughter cattle or will they die via explosion instead of just falling over? It would be pretty embarrassing to get cow bits everywhere.

Put it in a cabinet at our home.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 16:46

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Have we asked Jael what the food was like in Melachim jail yet?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 16:56

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Basscop posted:

Does anyone else think we should build our own personal vault?

Like the mighty men have but with presence blocking powers as well.

Don't know how but who knows what we might figure out.

This is a good idea we should make our own ~~bat~~nephilim cave.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 17:01

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Be nice to Jael he is our friend and our actions towards him will influence how his bosses interact with us. We aren't powerful enough to tell them to gently caress off so we might as well get on their good side if that's possible.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 22:01

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

H - I think he's had enough and nothing short of some strange melachim mind extraction magic is going to get us anything more.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 23:01

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Basscop posted:

Goons are falling for the act that Ishamal explicitly told us about.

loving Jael

What act?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2016 00:29

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 23:28

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Lets invent fencing it would allow us to train our unblooded guys under the guise of sport.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2016 17:00

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