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Aerdan
Apr 14, 2012

Not Dennis NEDry

shalcar posted:

while Aerdan I remember from the terrible tattoo thread and I clicked on that link, which I did not appreciate at all. Sorry.

E: I wish you every success in your therapy and think it's great that you are working to better yourself.

Quite understandable, and I wish I hadn't done that either. Ah well. Life marches on, and I'm looking forward to more updates.

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shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender

Aerdan posted:

Quite understandable, and I wish I hadn't done that either. Ah well. Life marches on, and I'm looking forward to more updates.

That's an incredibly mature outlook and I have a lot of respect for that. I may have been over hasty in my judgement.

It's Christmas and New Year, the time for new beginnings. PM me your steam account email and Chisato will send you a copy of Shogun 2. I hope you get as much enjoyment from it as I have!

Nekomimi-Maiden
Feb 27, 2011

I'm here to help you.
Rule number one, don't get me killed.
Wouldn't mind a copy of Shogun 2 to gift to a friend, so if no one else is really going to offer anything for the thread, maybe a couple chuckles will be worth it...

Armies march all night;
One more turn, our rally cry -
Oh crap, dawn has come.


Alternately, slightly less meta...

Silently stalking,
master ninja finds her prey -
90%? Sure to fail.


Edit: Shogun 2 or Shogun 2 Collection would be nice; as I said, I would be giving it to a friend, as I have all the DLC myself, ha. But, if others need it more, then by all means, give away! Just happy to have seemingly helped spark the influx of haiku and such.

Nekomimi-Maiden fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Jan 7, 2014

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
I don't have a Steam account (DRM free only :v:), and don't plan to get one, but have a Haiku:

Too many presents
For Chisato to give us
Suddenly, Shalcar

Anticheese
Feb 13, 2008

$60,000,000 sexbot
:rodimus:

Merciless winter
Gives way to spring, blossoms of
Chosokabe blood

Aerdan
Apr 14, 2012

Not Dennis NEDry

shalcar posted:

That's an incredibly mature outlook and I have a lot of respect for that. I may have been over hasty in my judgement.

It's Christmas and New Year, the time for new beginnings. PM me your steam account email and Chisato will send you a copy of Shogun 2. I hope you get as much enjoyment from it as I have!

I don't have PMs, but my email's kiyoshi.aman (at) gmail.

MonotoneMorgan
Nov 20, 2013

The saddest day in Octavian's life was the day he was asked to shave his mustache.
In reference to the Winter Defence of 1549:

A mirror gleaming,
Omi up for the taking,
A frantic defense.


and a meta one:

Shalcar's graphs grant us,
A great boon to our coffers,
Still don't get them though.


I've got most of the DLC aside from Saints and Heroes Unit Pack - so I'll wish upon a ninja star to Chisato, the ninja of Christmas.
After all, Santa's a goddamn daimyo of his frozen lands, having united the various Elvish warlords under his banner.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




I'm not entering,
I just like to write haiku.
It's a quirk of mine.

The Sandman
Jun 23, 2013

Okay!

So, I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan Ded Moroz, like "Deadmau5!"

WUB!
Alas, I just bought
All this stuff in the Steam sale
And thus I now weep

Zest
May 7, 2007

ACHIEVE HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE
I need some of the DLC still :shobon::ohdear:

Army approaches
Assault under starlit sky
Massed Ashigaru


Edit: Rise of the Samurai DLC / Ikko Ikki

Zest fucked around with this message at 02:53 on Jan 9, 2014

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Finished my first game
Took me twenty five hours
Holy freaking crap

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender
If everyone could edit in which item they wanted from the grab bag (You can ask for more than one and you might still win even if your first choice is won by someone else), I would really appreciate it. As is, if a Haiku doesn't have any items from the grab bag requested, I'll assume it's not an entry and simply for fun. I love the for fun haiku's as well, so keep them coming.

Prizes will be awarded starting tomorrow night and will continue as long as I have at least a single haiku with a grab bag request. Excess grab bag items will be sent to the steam gifting thread. Please note that I may very well award prizes to haiku's from earlier days, so don't think that just because you didn't win on that day that you don't have a chance!

e: I laughed out loud at my dad's and I am also strongly considering reserving a prize purely for Glazius, patron saint of LP, in the same way I used to leave out port and shortbread for Santa when I was a young boy.

e2: Grab bag currently contains:

3 x Saints and Heroes DLC (Taketoshi's choice)
3 x Sengoku Jidai DLC (Favoured by Korekata)
1 x Shogun 2 (Metsuke approved)
1 x Ikko Ikki DLC (To sate Yasunaga's fury)
1 x Shogun 2 Collection (Chisato recommends always being prepared, it might save your life!)
1 x Rise of the Samurai DLC (Masanari knows you will make the right choice)

shalcar fucked around with this message at 13:19 on Jan 7, 2014

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7-2_gUuWK4

The Spaniard asks me,
as if there's a difference:
Chisato or Death?

e: I can't run the game, but any of the DLC for a fellow goon (Yemala) would be awesome.

petrol blue fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Jan 7, 2014

Leif.
Mar 27, 2005

Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester

petrol blue posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7-2_gUuWK4

The Spaniard asks me,
as if there's a difference:
Chisato or Death?

e: I can't run the game, but any of the DLC for a fellow goon (Yemala) would be awesome.

This is a good one.

Azran
Sep 3, 2012

And what should one do to be remembered?
Looking for the Sengoku Jidai DLC for my brother

Oh my son
I die awesomely in battle
blast some J-pop

Kermit The Grog
Mar 29, 2010
(I don't want anything, just wanted to write a sweet haiku about my other favorite Total War let's play)

Come here my brother
Let us sail to conquer
Scotsman in Japan

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous

Clockwork Rocktapus posted:

(I don't want anything, just wanted to write a sweet haiku about my other favorite Total War let's play)

Come here my brother
Let us sail to conquer
Scotsman in Japan


Scotland wins again,
Old jokes rot like yellow leaves,
A gah-lah bala.

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

Archers loose arrows
Ashigaru stand ready
Samurai charge forth


(I'll take either Rise or Saints and Heroes if I win, thanks)

GhostStalker fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Jan 8, 2014

GhostBoy
Aug 7, 2010

Wind in cherry tree
Leaves drift in autumn night
Dew falls on meadow

Moonlight on rooftop
Each are as thunder to
Silent Chisato


(I have nothing shogun related, so the base game would be nice)

GhostBoy fucked around with this message at 09:13 on Jan 8, 2014

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!
The Ikko Ikki
Rising High in the Springtime
Lay flat in Summer

This Autumn morning
The blood of my enemies
Shine under the Sun

A Shogun in Spring
Realm Divide by Summer's end
Deposed in Winter


just a few seasonal poems. My computer can't play the game, so this is just for fun.

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender

Nekomimi-Maiden posted:


Silently stalking,
master ninja finds her prey -
90%? Sure to fail.



To the many ninja who I lost to ludicrously good odds (95% chance to die, it seems), you win a copy of Shogun 2. I hope your friend appreciates the many virtual ninja who died to make that haiku funny.

MonotoneMorgan posted:

In reference to the Winter Defence of 1549:

A mirror gleaming,
Omi up for the taking,
A frantic defense.



A time for heroes indeed. For this stirring recording of noble warriors, you win a copy of the Saints and Heroes DLC

Zest posted:

I need some of the DLC still :shobon::ohdear:

Army approaches
Assault under starlit sky
Massed Ashigaru


You didn't specify, so I hope the Sengoku Jidai DLC is the one you need, because that's your prize!

petrol blue posted:


The Spaniard asks me,
as if there's a difference:
Chisato or Death?

e: I can't run the game, but any of the DLC for a fellow goon (Yemala) would be awesome.

I already owe you for the awesome image, so I hope your fellow goon needs the Ikko Ikki DLC!

Azran posted:


Oh my son
I die awesomely in battle
blast some J-pop



Sengoku Jidai pack is yours (or your brothers, at least). Feel the serenity.

GhostStalker posted:

Archers loose arrows
Ashigaru stand ready
Samurai charge in


(I'll take either Rise or Saints and Heroes if I win, thanks)

I love this one, for reasons I can't really explain. A copy of the Rise of the Samurai DLC is yours! As is a picture of the Taira butterfly (as taken by me)



GhostBoy posted:


Moonlight on rooftop
Each are as thunder to
Silent Chisato


(I have nothing shogun related, so the base game would be nice)

But I love this one the most. Chisato has informed me that you are to be the proud owner of the Shogun 2 Collection! Claim Japan with honour and pride!

Grab Bag contents:
3 2 x Saints and Heroes DLC (Taketoshi's choice)
3 1 x Sengoku Jidai DLC (Favoured by Korekata)
1 x Shogun 2 (Metsuke approved)
1 x Ikko Ikki DLC (To sate Yasunaga's fury)
1 x Shogun 2 Collection (Chisato recommends always being prepared, it might save your life!)
1 x Rise of the Samurai DLC (Masanari knows you will make the right choice)


All the winners will need to PM me their steam account email (or the email of whichever account the prize is to go to) so I can send it their way (You could always drop the email in the thread as well and I'll do it that way if you don't have PMs. Remember to edit it out afterwards.)!

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

shalcar posted:

I love this one, for reasons I can't really explain. A copy of the Rise of the Samurai DLC is yours! As is a picture of the Taira butterfly (as taken by me)



All the winners will need to PM me their steam account email (or the email of whichever account the prize is to go to) so I can send it their way (You could always drop the email in the thread as well and I'll do it that way if you don't have PMs. Remember to edit it out afterwards.)!

Sweet. I had that one rolling around in my head just before the end of your last haiku contest, but I didn't enter it because I think I had everything that you offered the last time. Still, I'll take Rise. PM with account email coming soon.

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
Lonely trade ship sails
Dares the cold winter waves
The hubs are all taken.

Sengoku Jidai if I win!

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender
I'm still waiting on Azran('s brothers), petrol blues(goon friends) and Zest's steam email addresses. All the current winners should have an email from me with their prizes!

shalcar fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Jan 9, 2014

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers
His steam addy is redacted. I'm sure he'll enjoy the gift of armed revolt. :)

e: Cheers!

petrol blue fucked around with this message at 13:49 on Jan 9, 2014

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender

petrol blue posted:

His steam addy is Redacted. I'm sure he'll enjoy the gift of armed revolt. :)

Sent so you can edit that email out now =)

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

shalcar posted:

All the current winners should have an email from me with their prizes!

Received, thanks!

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender
Traitor's Rewards

Winter of 1550 (Enemy Turn)


"Chosokabe fleet approaching sir!" yelled the lookout. "Three ships, Bune and two Kobayas."
"Signal our sister ship and bang the drums" the captain boomed. "The Chosokabe forget that the Hattori are masters of these waters!"


The Chosokabe fleet moves to contest that waters outside of Kii and Awaji, but the mighty Hattori fleet will not surrender so easily! Although we only have 2 Medium Bune to the Chosokabe's 1 Medium Bune and 2 Bow Kobaya, their fleet is already damaged, giving us the opportunity to repel this treacherous attack!


Click here to see the battle!
"Their admiral flies his flag form the Bune!" yelled the lookout. "They seek to envelop us!"
"No chance of that!" laughed the captain. "Signal our sister ship. Tell her that I want their admiral's head on the point of a sword."
"At once, sir" replied the signalman, saluting.
"One last thing" the captain continued. "Tell them... good hunting."


With such wide open areas, the extra mobility of the Bow Kobayas will put our Medium Bune at a disadvantage. However, with their weakened state, a decisive blow against their Medium Bune may be enough to convince the weakened Bow Kobaya to leave the field of battle and try raiding softer targets.


"Status report" barked the captain. "How fares the fleet?"
"Two enemy ships have surrendered and are spoils of war" replied the first mate. "The last Chosokabe ship scuttled her rather than fall into our hands."
The captain nodded. "Our losses were light, how did our sister ship fare?"


A powerful victory! As the Chosokabe are weakened, the Hattori gain strength, having captured their Medium Bune and one of their Bow Kobaya. Their other Bow Koabaya, preferring death to capture, now sits on the bottom of the channel as a warning that the Hattori are a force to be feared by all in Japan.


"Poorly, sir" replied the first mate. "Barely a dozen men left after their actions and their crew were dispersed to the captured ships."
"Then we are sitting ducks" noted the captain. "Did her captain survive at least?"
"He did, sir" noted the first mate. "He also wishes to present you with their admiral's head as requested."
"Taking another admiral's head makes you an admiral, doesn't it?" grinned the captain. "I'm sure I read that somewhere."
The first mate laughed. "That it does, admiral."


The victory was not without cost, however. Our fleet is now barely combat effective, with catastrophic troop loss on one of our Medium Bune. While we came out the ultimate victor, the Chosokabe have other ships, while this fleet is our last line of defence in the area. It will need to be withdrawn to port for repairs if we wish to continue to defend our shores and trade routes.


Spring of 1551


"Is that a real school for battle ninja?" asked Masanari, eyes wide. "It looks far too grand!"
"That's the new guild hall of a syndicate" replied his mother. "Your father lets the syndicate operate as long as they pay their taxes and keep disruption to a minimum, among other things."
"Are all ninja syndicate, mum?" queried Masanari. "They must be huge!"
"No, these are combat type, rather than the stealth and shadow of the true Hattori ninja" his mother responded. "Your father always said that if we are going to have crime, it should be organised at least."


Iga has finally finished construction of a Criminal Syndicate, the third building in the Stealth chain. Although the extra wealth is always handy, the real boon is that we can now recruit the mighty Hattori Kisho Ninja in Iga. As Iga has the Ninja Clans speciality with the Ninjutsu School building present, these troops will be recruited at combat rank 3, making them even deadlier than normal. They are still, however, incredibly expensive to build and maintain, but with our ever improving economic and military outlook, we should soon be able to field them in ever increasing numbers.


Cost: 2200

The third building in the Stealth Chain, Criminal Syndicate, further increases the wealth in a province and allows the recruitment of Kisho Ninja units.

In game encyclopaedia - Criminal Syndicate posted:

A town with no crime is too poor to have anything worth stealing! Crime syndicates, however, are not about theft: they provide all kinds of illicit and enjoyable services to the local people, even as they intimidate troublesome individuals into keeping quiet. The syndicate has a positive effect on wealth, give or take, and it aids in procuring the services of a dangerous class of men: battlefield ninjas.

Japanese crime syndicates, the yakuza, have a long tradition and can trace their origins back to the era of the Tokugawa Shogunate and earlier. The name is deliberately ironic: a portmanteau of the Japanese for eight, nine and three, a losing hand at cards. From their start as gamblers, the yakuza became a mirror of samurai society, with their own codes of honour. Yakuza are famed for their tattoos, the elaborate designs showing that the wearer has the strength to take the pain of his decorative work. Other than yakuza, the only Japanese group to regularly carry tattoos are firemen. Tattoos are a reason for ordinary Japanese to be suspicious of strangers.


"I look around and I see the faces of men who want to protect their homes" boomed the ashigaru captain. "I see men who know the value of family and what it means to defend them. I'm honoured to lead you."

With Yasunaga's force moving towards Echizen, Omi needs additional troops in order to be able to hold out against a counter-attack. To keep Omi as unbreakable as possible, we continue our recruitment there with an additional Hattori Yari Ashigaru.


"My Lord, most terrible news!" announced the runner. "Our loyal vassals, the Bessho, have been destroyed by the Amako."
Yasunaga's eyes narrowed. "The Amako force, any word on their size or intentions?"
"Substantial size, my Lord" replied the runner. "But we know nothing of their makeup. Perhaps the Amako have good intentions?"
"I doubt it" replied Yasunaga, darkly. "I have much to ponder, you are dismissed."


The mighty monks, the Uesugi to the east, have been destroyed. More importantly, however, is the elimination of the Bessho, our vassals. They had been an incredibly useful as both a source of income and as a military buffer with those to our west.


"The Amako force will dash themselves upon the walls of Settsu" the advisor stated. "Their force is large but the Amako are not known to be powerful warriors."
"I hope your confidence is well placed" replied Yasunaga. "This development troubles me. Our plans are already in motion."
"The Hattori have never conceded ground, nor have they ever ran" noted the advisor. "If needed, they will do us proud."


Our loyal vassals, the Bessho, have been eliminated by a lightning strike from the Amako, their enemies. You will notice that we are also at war with the Amako, having joined our vassals in the war in order to keep them onside. That Amako army is significantly larger than I had been expecting, while our defensive force is far smaller than is effective this early in the game as I had grown complacent at using the Bessho as a buffer. If that army is ashigaru, we should be able to hold it off at heavy cost, but if it's samurai...


"I suspect you are right" responded Yasunaga. "The trade between our clans will be missed, no matter how this resolves."
"Rumours persist that not all the Bessho have been killed" stated the advisor. "If we can liberate Harima from the Amako, I'm sure they can be restored to their rightful place."


With the Amako having wiped the Bessho out of existence, we can no longer trade with them, our economy takes a moderate blow but nothing we can't handle.


Korekata slammed his fist on the table, crushing the parchment in his hand.
"My Lord?" an attendant inquired. "You orders?"
"These raids never end!" Korekata fumed, waving the attendant away. "Like rats in a granary, they strike and scuttle when light appears."


Despite 4 separate fleets raiding our sea trade routes, we lose very little income as the "fleets" are really single Bow Kobaya and so all this raiding is costing us around 100 koku a turn.


"I've never seen ashigaru so dedicated to their duties" noted the samurai captain. "How can this possibly be?"
"Some things are more powerful motivators than even death" replied Tanesuke. "How must Yasunaga or Taketoshi look to a peasant? They are titans, living gods who stride across both Japan and the battlefield inflicting utter destruction on all their foes. When led by a living god, what person would not dedicate their every waking moment to not letting the side down?"


In what is quite possibly once of the best events in the game, all our ashigaru recruited for the next 8 turns will start 2 experience levels higher than normal. Given that ashigaru benefit disproportionately from experience, this is very fortuitous indeed! With our rapidly expanding borders and large need for troops, this is the perfect opportunity to start mass production of ashigaru to take full advantage of this.



"We have done well" boomed Taketoshi. "But our work is not yet done! Chosokabe still draw breath."
His eyes swept the men assembled before him.
"Breath that is rightfully ours!" thundered Taketoshi. "I swear this, before you all and heaven itself. I will not rest while there remains a single Chosokabe breathing."


The Chosokabe army has withdrawn from Sanuki but is still in our territory and this will not stand! The Chosokabe threat must be eliminated, both on land and sea. Taking his unmatched army and fighting fury, Taketoshi marches forth to secure the future of the Hattori.


"The enemy are unaware of our approach, my Lord" the scout reported. "The heavy rains and fog mask our approach."
"Then we attack" stated Taketoshi, flatly. "Ready the men for the charge."
"Certainly, my Lord" replied the samurai captain. "I'll bring you many Chosokabe heads."
"I can't have you stealing all the fun" replied Taketoshi, bursting into laughter. "If I don't slaughter a dozen of these bastards, the men will think I have gone soft. Bring me my horse."


Taketoshi and his force of 1 Light Cavalry, 3 Hattori Katana Samurai, 10 Hattori Yari Ashigaru and 3 Hattori Bow Ashigaru engage the Chosokabe force of 2 Generals, 1 Yari Samurai and 6 Chosokabe Bow Samurai. Despite our immense melee and infantry advantage, we are heavily outranged and need to focus on minimising our losses against ranged forces.


Click here to see the battle!
The Chosokabe archer's head collapsed with a sickening crunch from the force of Taketoshi's blow.
"Is that all you got?" he screamed to the sky, his face lit up with unearthly glee.
"My Lord" yelled the bodyguard. "We are outnumbered and most of our forces lie idle by your command. Surely we must bring in more troops?"
"The Chosokabe don't fear me enough yet!" bellowed Taketoshi, spurring his horse into the Chosokabe line alone. "I want them to think they can beat me!"
His charge crushed another two men beneath him, his sword a crimson arc, felling samurai like wheat. Yet he could not keep this up forever, the Chosokabe forces knew he was but one man. Slowly, they pressed in closer.
"Got yourself in trouble again?" bellowed a bodyguard, his horse crashing through the samurai to bring himself by his master's side. "You can't have all the fun!"
Chosokabe soldiers burst out in cries of alarm as suddenly Taketoshi's bodyguard slammed into their flanks, these elite combat veterans reaping a terrible harvest.


In addition, the hill to the north looks quite defensible, so our forces must strike quickly and powerfully in order to keep the Chosokabe forces off balance. This objective will be hampered by the fact that we need to maximise their casualties in order to prevent having to chase down a hostile force running amok in our provinces. That means we don't want to use shock and awe to force a chain rout, but instead use grinding force head to head in order to ensure maximum Choskabe dead. This will increase our own losses too, so it's a careful balance between enough grinding and enough army left to continue the push with Taketoshi.


"HATTORI!" bellowed the samurai captain as the troops slammed into the Chosokabe lines, head on. "None can face the fury of the swordsman!"
The Chosokabe forces put up a valiant fight and the ground turned bloody beneath their feet, but they were too badly outclassed. Slowly but surely, they were pushed back, their numbers dwindling. It was only a matter of time.


Almost, but not quite. All enemy forces destroyed except for a single general unit which will be free to run around and cause havoc unless we spend another turn or two chasing it down. With the bulk of the Chosokabe forces eliminated, we face the choice of ensuring our lands are secure or on capitalising on the sudden Chosokabe weakness. In addition, our katana samurai and light cavalry are ground down to the point where combat effectiveness is impacted to a noticeable degree.


"Fall back! Retreat!" bellowed the Chosokabe general. "The day is lost, fall back!"
"Leave none alive!" thundered Taketoshi. "Be as the fury of heaven! Destroy them utterly!"


Taketoshi is an absolute demon, reaching combat rank 8(!) having carved through elite enemy forces like they were nothing at all. Few units could possibly match him in combat, as even hero units will have trouble with the powerful combat veterans of Taketoshi and his bodyguard. No matter what happens, Taketoshi will take victory, even if he has to cut down the entire enemy army himself.



"Open sea at last!" announced the captain. "I told you we would make it."
"You did" replied the first mate. "Let's hope our luck holds out."


The first units of our trade ships reach the trade node, providing a substantial boost to our income. This boost is offset by the economic losses of the Bessho and the additional raiding, but at the very least it stems our economic losses and keeps our economy powering through.



"We set sail for port!" ordered the admiral. "We are no threat to anyone while our ships are so badly undermanned."
"As you command, sir" replied the helmsman. "Setting sail for port!"


Our fleet is very powerful on paper, but we suffer from a huge lack of sailors to be combat effective, with only a single Medium Bune able to fight. We have no option but to withdraw to a friendly port for repairs. The fleet is now quite sizeable however and there are few visible fleets that would stand a chance.



"No enemy can best the Hattori on the field!" boasted the sergeant. "Of course, you all whine like small children at a little hike!"
"Sorry sir" replied the soldier. "The armour chafes, that's all."
"I'll give you a chafing if you don't shape up" snapped the sergeant. "We are the best, act like it!"


Omi is open and needs reinforcement, but so is Settsu. In the end, Omi is worth significantly more than Settsu (although both are incredible valuable) and so the Hattori Katana Samurai are sent there to bolster the garrison against the worst.



Clouds hid the moon from sight, a blackness that was as oppressive as it was still.
"The perfect night" Chisato thought, observing the Ikko Ikki camp as she moved ever closer. "How much bloodshed could be avoided if others would recognise the Hattori's rightful claim!"
The guards were of little concern, so silent and hidden was Chisato, moving with the speed and stealth of a ghost. Effortlessly, she made her way to the quartermasters tent and, as she had done so many times before, went about her work of spoiling supplies and poisoning water. While she was at work, however, a soldier walked in.
"What are you doing here?" he challenged, his eyes going wide. "You aren't..."


The Ikko Ikki have a moderate force outside their fortress which will immediately retreat behind the walls if we threaten them, making taking the fortress incredibly expensive, if not impossible. The Ikko Ikki are a huge threat that I must deal with swiftly, so Chisato is dispatched to ensure that the army is sabotaged and unable to retreat or assist their allies.


His sentence died in his throat as the thrown dagger from Chisato found it's mark. Before the body could slam on the ground, Chisato was there, catching it.
"Nothing is ever easy" she thought, as she went to work hiding the body. "But all things considered, this seems to be getting easier."


The sabotage is successful and the Ikko Ikki's strongest province now has a chink in their armour, giving us the opportunity to strike a massive blow and hopefully crush the centrepiece of Ikko Ikki resistance in the north. Can nothing stop the momentum of the unstoppable Hattori?

Sneak Peak: The Price of Hubris...

shalcar fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Jan 20, 2014

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN
drat this is looking good.

Why haven't you recruited any more regular ninja?

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender

Deadmeat5150 posted:

Why haven't you recruited any more regular ninja?

We only have a single stealth building (the one in Iga), so we can only support a single one at once. More are on the agenda now that we have spare building capacity, so things should get more ninjaish soon.

E: Its remarkably tricky to get back into the swing of things after the break, I can't remember what's happened yet :p

shalcar fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Jan 12, 2014

BurningStone
Jun 3, 2011
Hey, good to see this back. I've switched from Vanilla Shogun to Rise, and I'm finding it rougher going. Units don't seem to fight quite the way I expect.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

That was, indeed, a roflstomp. You've doubled the size of your navy and annihilated an army in a turn.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

shalcar posted:

Sneak Peak: The Price of Hubris...

Oh dear. :ohdear: Sounds like the Hattori are about to suffer a setback...

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

FredMSloniker posted:

Oh dear. :ohdear: Sounds like the Hattori are about to suffer a setback...

Yeah, that's what I thought as well after reading that preview. I dunno though, it might be a reference to the Ikko Ikki declaring war on the Hattori as they get wiped out?

Still, it was a good turn for you. You did lose most of your cavalry taking out the Chosokabe there, but I guess it was necessary. It'll take some time for that unit to recover, though...

BurningStone posted:

I've switched from Vanilla Shogun to Rise, and I'm finding it rougher going. Units don't seem to fight quite the way I expect.

Yeah, getting used to gun units was strange. They don't fire like you expect them to, and you can't use them like your previous ranged troops due to different line of sight rules and all that. I made the mistake of trying to take a castle without really knowing all that well how they worked and I took crazy casualties as they were cut down. Still, I was able to figure it out after some trial and error, and being a lot more conservative with my forces, especially in siege battles, until I figured it out. Keep at it, you'll learn how they work after you fight with them a couple times.

EDIT: Misread Rise as Fall. My bad, disregard the previous.

GhostStalker fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Jan 14, 2014

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

GhostStalker posted:

Yeah, that's what I thought as well after reading that preview. I dunno though, it might be a reference to the Ikko Ikki declaring war on the Hattori as they get wiped out?

I think it might be a reference to this:

Shalcar posted:

"The Amako force will dash themselves upon the walls of Settsu" the advisor stated. "Their force is large but the Amako are not known to be powerful warriors."
"I hope your confidence is well placed" replied Yasunaga. "This development troubles me. Our plans are already in motion."
"The Hattori have never conceded ground, nor have they ever ran" noted the advisor. "If needed, they will do us proud."

If Shalcar can get reinforcements to Settsu, that fort will level the playing field tremendously against the enemy army (it always does for me). Of course, I can't see how large that army is or how large his garrison is. (Nor do I have as much experience playing Shogun 2.)

shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender

Mr.Morgenstern posted:

If Shalcar can get reinforcements to Settsu, that fort will level the playing field tremendously against the enemy army (it always does for me). Of course, I can't see how large that army is or how large his garrison is. (Nor do I have as much experience playing Shogun 2.)

If I recall correctly, they have 12 units to our 5, but we don't know what they are. Walls do certainly level the playing field, but sometimes even they might not be enough...

BurningStone posted:

Hey, good to see this back. I've switched from Vanilla Shogun to Rise, and I'm finding it rougher going. Units don't seem to fight quite the way I expect.

It certainly is a change of pace and one that I quite enjoy! You need to play a better game in Rise than you do in vanilla, as the early units are much more temperamental and prone to breaking under even a single mistake of generalship. If you can get the hang of it, you will find your vanilla game much improved! (Or get Foot Samurai and obliterate everything.)

I had hoped to get a full tournament update out tonight, but life didn't want to co-operate. Instead, I hope you all can enjoy the first battle of the tournament with many more to come! Contestants, your second round will begin at the end of the week, details will be posted when the round starts (It will be 2 week rounds for the moment, so everyone should have plenty of time. If not, contact me for an extension.)

Grand Goon Tournament Round 1 (Winners Bracket) - Sydin vs GettingLostHere


Click here to see the battle!

Map: Aki

Forces deployed:

Sydin:
code:
Cavalry: 2 x Light Cav
         1 x Great Guard
Spears:  1 x Yari Hero
         4 x Yari Ashi
Swords:  6 x Kat Sam
Bows:    2 x Bow Warrior Monks
         2 x Bow Ashigaru
Misc:    None
GettingLostHere:
code:
Cavalry: 1 x Yari Cav Hero
         1 x Light Cav
Spears:  2 x Yari Sam
         4 x Yari Ashigaru
Swords:  3 x Wako Raiders
         1 x Kat Sam
Bows:    3 x Bow Sam       
Misc:    1 x Fire Rockets
With Sydin's heavy infantry focus compared to the more technical force of GettingLostHere, Sydin demonstrated why he placed so highly in the previous tournament by playing a tighter and more cohesive game. Although GettingLostHere managed to land several solid hits on Sydin, in the end he was crippled by either not having a battle plan or not being able to execute it under pressure from Sydin. Both players made extremely good use of the buildings and accurately assessed their worth, but GettingLostHere's uncoordinated early attack left him with a deficit that he was unable to recover. A reasonably tight round that was decided by raw experience leaves me excited to see if GettingLostHere can even up the next match!


Click here to see the battle!

Map: Oboke Gorge

Forces deployed:

Sydin:
code:
Cavalry: None
Spears:  1 x Yari Hero
         4 x Yari Ashi
	 2 x Naginata Warrior Monks
Swords:  6 x Kat Sam
Bows:    2 x Bow Warrior Monks
         2 x Bow Ashigaru
Misc:    None
GettingLostHere:
code:
Cavalry: 1 x Yari Cav Hero
         1 x Yari Cav
         1 x Light Cav
Spears:  3 x Yari Sam
         2 x Yari Ashigaru
Swords:  5 x Wako Raiders
         1 x Kat Sam
Bows:    3 x Bow Ashi
         2 x Bow Warrior Monks       
Misc:    1 x Fire Rockets
Both GettingLostHere and Sydin had multiple opportunities to change the course of the game, but unfortunately for Lost, the learning curve with some of the tricky nuances of the buildings was too steep and he was put behind early. Despite several attempts to even the tide, poor judgement of relative firepower and an overall conservative approach meant that he couldn't get the most out of his shock based force. Despite losing the round, Lost's performance put him as one to watch! Sydin made several errors, but luckily wasn't punished for them by his more cautious opponent. Despite having the better game, Sydin's win was still only by a thread and he's demonstrated that although he is to be feared, perhaps he's vulnerable to more aggressive tactics?


Click here to see the battle!

BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! The age of rivalry between No-Dachi and Fire Bomb Thrower is here! Who will come out on top in this battle of explosions vs steel? Only one way to find out!

Map: Rice Fields

Forces deployed:

Sydin:
code:
Swords:  19 x No-Dachi Sam
GettingLostHere:
code:
     
Misc:    19 x Fire Bomb Throwers

shalcar fucked around with this message at 13:55 on Jan 16, 2014

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
I love that line in the most recent update from Taketoshi's speech. "Although I know I am not considered a warrior..." Uh, who exactly is that, Taketoshi? Because you're Rank 8 and a murder machine. :allears:

Also that match was a lot closer than it looked. I was sweating bullets the whole time once those fire rockets went off, since I really didn't have a solid counter. Hence to do or die charge straight into the center line to gut them. :v:

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

Sydin posted:

I love that line in the most recent update from Taketoshi's speech. "Although I know I am not considered a warrior..." Uh, who exactly is that, Taketoshi? Because you're Rank 8 and a murder machine. :allears:

Yeah, I noticed that as well. I guess the game's speech-writing engine picked up on the fact that he has the Poet trait and ignored both his General rank and his experience... Well, now his rank 8 murder-machine is surely going to take you places, especially once you level him up some more too.

MonotoneMorgan
Nov 20, 2013

The saddest day in Octavian's life was the day he was asked to shave his mustache.

Sydin posted:

I love that line in the most recent update from Taketoshi's speech. "Although I know I am not considered a warrior..." Uh, who exactly is that, Taketoshi? Because you're Rank 8 and a murder machine. :allears:

Also that match was a lot closer than it looked. I was sweating bullets the whole time once those fire rockets went off, since I really didn't have a solid counter. Hence to do or die charge straight into the center line to gut them. :v:

In the aftermath of the battle for Aki, this note was found scattered on Sydin's side:

The rockets go boom,
Our men should be freaking out,
Glad I got the shrine.


Good game guys!

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shalcar
Oct 21, 2009

At my signal, DEAL WITH IT.
Taco Defender
My earlier post with Sydin vs GettingLostHere has now been updated to include all 3 of their battles as the first update of the tournament rolls off the ranks!

Find it here!

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