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SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.
Part 8: Zoghbadid Blues

We're back! Sorry about the delay, school was getting in the way. When we last left the Emirate of Tunis, we were at war, and we got involved in another war. War!


These guys were on the way out anyway, so our rebellious guy won't be a problem.



A son comes of age! This is not amazing, as landless male relatives (especially sons) generate decadence, which means I need to start tossing territory to my son. Luckily, I just recently got some new territory. Imagine that.



A random event for some traits will make you lose those traits, like this one. It turns out being the best Emir ever has drawbacks, who knew?



Childhood event! This is a particularly annoying one, since all of the options really suck. I end up just leaving her alone.



And she is honest as a result. Better than dead. Incidentally, you always have the option of taking choice #2 if you want to rid yourself of a pesky heir with bad stats.



This guy knows he's lost, so I toss him in jail for daring to do whatever it was he did in the first place.



This event again! Since my actual first wife kind of tried to poison my son, I go ahead and okay the promotion. That'll learn her.



Our truce with Tamim is over, and he only has the one province. Time for free land.



Yaaayyyy.



Since he apparently held all of his territories in that county, I get all of them. I toss them onto some random dudes.



Here's where Tamim is now. Landless nobles are still a threat now, on account of them having the ability to raise adventurers to take their lands back. I should consider tossing an assassin his way.



Anyway, I take this dude's land, because I want to move my capital to Tunis



You can only do this once in your life, so choose wisely. In this case, it's coastal and has lots of room for building more settlements, so it's an easy choice over my tiny, inland, hilly capital.




This is a fun event from the Republic DLC. This event just pops up for having a province with a trade post (which is limited to coastal provinces, hence the move), and you can raise a mob and force a Republic family to pay you money to not burn their poo poo down. I'm not 100% on why you would just annoy a Republic by choosing the second option on the second screenshot. Maybe you want to bait a coastal conquest war.



Here it is, what we're all gunning for. The crown. We're a few counties short of the goal, so you know what that means! We haven't declared on the Hammadids to our west yet, so I'll go ahead and do that offscreen.



Oops. Guess I'm not gonna be leading from the front now.



The Tengri manage to successfully organize their religious beliefs. This makes them resistant to conversion attempts, and gives them actual Moral Authority. This timeline's Mongols are gonna be interesting.



Another son coming of age. I really need to conquer more (because I wasn't going to do that anyway).



We have three adult heirs now, all landed, which is the minimum required for a horrible succession crisis.



Good, we're gonna need these guys.



Rasa is /needy/, drat. So many events for this kid. Despite my being craven, I pick something else, though the No Effect option goes off. Sucks, I was hoping to lose Craven.



I get a free courtier from a battle. He'll be able to lead troops, and be an option for tossing titles onto if I ever run out of sons (I won't).



And this guy dies, freeing us up to attack east again! This is probably the most charmed start I've ever had as this emirate, the truces have been running out juuuust right for me to expand rapidly. For reference, it is 1089 AD, 16 years have passed in game.

Next Time- Part 9: Keep Warring, Warring, Warring Warring.

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Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying
Reformed Tengri seems pretty dangerous. The one time I saw it happen Hungary turned into an unstoppable monster that invaded everything from Rus to France and only stopped there because the Umayyid blob already owned the rest of mainland Europe.

Sindai fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Sep 22, 2013

beefart
Jul 5, 2007

IT'S ON THE HOUSE OF AMON
~grandmaaaaaaa~
Hey all, journal season started up again so my editorial duties have picked up, but the vast majority of my deadlines are on Wednesday. So there will be a new update, possibly two, coming Thursday and later this weekend to show off great holy wars and the remainder of Norse mechanics.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE
I want to point out, male members of your dynasty who are council members don't generate decadence. If you have a high-stat brother or son, instead of giving him land you can just give him a job as the court chaplain, or the chancellor.

SpaceViking
Sep 2, 2011

Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

Torrannor posted:

I want to point out, male members of your dynasty who are council members don't generate decadence. If you have a high-stat brother or son, instead of giving him land you can just give him a job as the court chaplain, or the chancellor.

This is correct, but with the way that Muslim succession works, you probably want your best son (statwise) to have a lot of land to guarantee he's the heir. If you have multiple high stat sons, this will work though.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
Catholics Part XI: More beating up on the Welsh



Hey, who are those 150 ships, anyway? I don’t recognize that flag.




Aha. An uncle of the current Petty King of Gwynedd. He apparently raised a host to press his claim and is going after Gwynedd too. Notice that his ships are in red, meaning that they’re hostile to me. We’ll go into why that is and how that works in just a moment.



This suddenly pops up. I didn’t get an Ambition Fufilled message; did I not have an ambition before? If not, why didn’t I get the popup immediately? Whafuck.



Wait holy poo poo, Improve ambitions give 100 prestige on completion? And I have two stats at 7? This makes a considerable difference.



Seriously guys just surrender, no wait don’t, I get some prestige every time you lose



Wait a minute, what the gently caress is Brittany doing here? There’s Castilian troops in the field too. What is going on in England?






...Oh. Well, drat. That’s... that’s quite a lot of hell that’s broken loose. Certainly explains all the armies from all the different realms that are all here all at once.

Okay, so remember how Rhirid’s fleet was hostile to me? In CK2, people who are at war with the same person you’re at war with, but for a different reason, are hostile to you. You’re both trying to gain the same prize and we’re still at the “I’m only teaming up with my family, what is this ‘mutual self-interest’ concept you speak of” stage of history. So there’s four different armies at war with England at once, but this doesn’t mean England faces overwhelming force. It means that there’s five armies who are all hostile to each other in a giant free-for-all. You might have noticed that Brittany’s 3700 men is the biggest army we’ve seen and everyone else is pretty teeny -- that’s why. They’re constantly killing each other.



My brother comes of age and is a pretty good Steward. I find him a nice wife with high stewardship too because why not.




Okay, so she’s not a fan of me, whatever. She’ll warm up or I’ll bribe her or if her heresy starts spreading, I’ll just have her stabbed. No big deal either way.



What’s important is, I got a better Steward.



SERIOUSLY, kid?



That actually turned out well.



For all his problem child antics, Donncuan has turned out kind, patient, generous, and honest. He’s a saint! He’s also 15 and King Brian’s a moron, so I repeat my trick of sending him off to a diplomatic tutor for his last month before coming of age.




Bam, a cool hundred prestige.



Let’s do it again.



Will you fuckers give up yet?



Seriously, the warscore is at 97%, you can’t possibly think this will end well.



The game decides that ambition and humility don’t go well together and makes me choose. It’s not a hard choice.



Oh for fucksakes. This is getting ridiculous.



That’s goddamn right, you’ll fall in line and do as you’re told, what is your problem, man?



Note that I’d be well within my rights to chuck him in jail for this. I’m not going to, because somehow I’ve gotten his opinion of me up to 95. I’d rather have a loyal troublemaker than a guy who’s safely in jail but only giving me half his levies. Anyway, I expect he’ll settle down now that he likes me so much -- this was more him playing the game than any real treason.



I can finally force the surrender I should have gotten six months ago. loving Welsh.



Quick tip: Never disband your armies outside your realm. Always get them home first.



Daaaaaaamn. “Splintering” isn’t the right word for it; England has completely shattered.



Norway status: Not doing great either.

So now that I’ve won the duchy for the Duchess of Connacht, I’m wondering how the inheritance will work -- is her kid gonna inherit both Connacht and Gwynedd or are they on Gavelkind or what?



What the actual gently caress. They’re apparently on Gavelkind -- notice that he’s not heir to Gwynedd -- but what the gently caress? The new King of Norway is the son of the Duke of Connacht? How does, I mean, what even. How did this guy even get the throne, anyway?



In this timeline it was apparently Harald the Conqueror who won in 1066, and he’s still alive. Didn’t expect that, he must have gotten deposed somehow. And... replaced by his daughter, who I guess that Connacht kid married, which explains how he’s King of Norway. Not sure how his daughter took the throne and there’s no way I know of to find out, but I’d guess a faction did it?

Also there’s absolutely no way this had anything to do with King Murchad, so the timing and the fact that a vassal of mine got the throne had to have been a coincidence. Had to have been. I can’t see any way I could have been the cause of this.



Meanwhile, King Aelfwine’s potential strength is literally half of what it was, and his actual levies are a paltry 1700. I was rocking 5000 and that’s when none of my Dukes liked me that much. The largest army I’ve seen in the field was Brittany’s 3000 or so. Unless there’s some giant doomstack waiting in the fog of war, I could brush aside everyone else right now.

Also, this dude is old, he’s embattled on all sides, and I have no goddamn idea if my invasion CB will transfer over if someone else takes the throne. I don’t see how waiting is an option.

NEXT TIME: Fortune favors the bold

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE
Your character most likely abandoned an ambition before he inherited your title. You could not choose an ambition because he was still on the cooldown. After the cooldown went away you got a notification about a new ambition.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
That explains it, thank you.

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

CapnAndy posted:





Okay, so she’s not a fan of me, whatever. She’ll warm up or I’ll bribe her or if her heresy starts spreading, I’ll just have her stabbed. No big deal either way.


Miaphysite isn't a heresy.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Geokinesis posted:

Miaphysite isn't a heresy.
Is it Catholicism? Then it's a heresy.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

CapnAndy posted:

Is it Catholicism? Then it's a heresy.
I suppose you expected us to fill in the "no" between the sentences there? :v:

Amnistar
Nov 6, 2008

I am a wizard, not a poet.

CapnAndy posted:

Is it Catholicism? Then it's a heresy.

While your statement is mostly true, it has the problem of not being able to declare a holy war against it.

Zebrin
Mar 12, 2010

Chopping trees down and making elves cry.
Which is also true if you are say Waldensian, and your neighbor with lands you want is Lollard or something. The fact that both are minor religious heresies that give the option to return to the true faith in Plots means they apparently function as the same religion. Early one game I decided, gently caress it, I am gonna actually take the conversion to heresy option, and it uh... well it ended with me going on a Holy War Rampage across the entirety of Europe, stamping out Catholicism entirely.(And most of Tengri/Sunni) Because those CBs allow you to take entire Duchies, and you depose everyone not of your faith in them, meaning you can stuff people of your faith and culture into prominent positions as you go. This ends up with about a 5% chance of revolt due to culture and faith differences, but at least you don't have to pay the -20ish diplomacy hit for Foreigner and Heretic. If you get a good, high learning priest in position, you can convert provinces pretty quickly too. Turning Rome Waldensian was kinda funny. I also Kinda accidentally turned Rome into a Merchant Republic that game.
My Diplomat dude actually spent good amounts of time just sitting in provinces I already owned getting rep boosts with my Nobles because I almost never needed a CB to invade someone.

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011

Torrannor posted:

Your character most likely abandoned an ambition before he inherited your title. You could not choose an ambition because he was still on the cooldown. After the cooldown went away you got a notification about a new ambition.

Most likely, his old ambition was to be a councilor, and it went away when he ascended.

Torrannor
Apr 27, 2013

---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Cease to Hope posted:

Most likely, his old ambition was to be a councilor, and it went away when he ascended.

But that would not explain why he did not have the option for any ambition for some time, and then suddenly was able to have ambitions later. A cooldown is the only thing that makes sense, I think.

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011

Torrannor posted:

But that would not explain why he did not have the option for any ambition for some time, and then suddenly was able to have ambitions later. A cooldown is the only thing that makes sense, I think.

Abandoning ambitions incurs the cooldown, even if you're abandoning invalid ambitions, I believe.

A Real Happy Camper
Dec 11, 2007

These children have taught me how to believe.
I won my first crusade :toot:

...Unfortunately Jerusalem is sandwiched between a Muslim mega-blob and the Golden Horde, so holding it is basically a deathwish for me. I've created all the duchies myself because I have the cash and I want that prestige, but can I force the kingdom on someone and let that go? I didn't expect that by sending 500 troops I would end up on the throne of the Holy Land.

I'm also dealing with a problem where my nephew will get all my land when I die, and he's not my chosen heir. Will that go away when I pop out a kid/get my kingdom inheretances sorted out? I'm still 14 and under a regency.

ChaseSP
Mar 25, 2013



Yes you can just give the kingdom and the people under it to some smuck you don't care about and want to get rid of if you don't want to bother with Jerusalem.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

ChaseSP posted:

Yes you can just give the kingdom and the people under it to some smuck you don't care about and want to get rid of if you don't want to bother with Jerusalem.

I reccomend whichever member of your Dynasty has the most amusing stat-line and combination of traits. Let the ages sing of the epic of King Donnachad, the Satanically-Poessessed Imbicile King of Jerusalem!

Veloxyll
May 3, 2011

Fuck you say?!

Captain Novolin posted:

I won my first crusade :toot:

...Unfortunately Jerusalem is sandwiched between a Muslim mega-blob and the Golden Horde, so holding it is basically a deathwish for me. I've created all the duchies myself because I have the cash and I want that prestige, but can I force the kingdom on someone and let that go? I didn't expect that by sending 500 troops I would end up on the throne of the Holy Land.

I'm also dealing with a problem where my nephew will get all my land when I die, and he's not my chosen heir. Will that go away when I pop out a kid/get my kingdom inheretances sorted out? I'm still 14 and under a regency.

A kid will probably help with the inheritance. Spinning Jerusalem off to some poor sap will also help, since it may be a Gavelkind issue. Plus then you don't lose all your levies trying to hold it then have succession or neighbours happen.

A Real Happy Camper
Dec 11, 2007

These children have taught me how to believe.
I got it sorted out, and I'm going to try to hold Jerusalem (at least until someone tries to attack, then I'm going to dump the title on whatever duke I like the least). The muslim problem is also gone, since there's a only a couple tiny sheiks that even my dukes can handle on their own. The mongol problem, on the other hand, now includes everything from the Byzantine empire, which is just north of Damascus, to somewhere partway around the mediterranian, along with a nice swath of eastern europe that's bordering Hungary. Are they normally this powerful, or did I get really unlucky with them reforming Tengri shortly after invading?

The title loss thing got figured out while I was carving up Jerusalem. I think the game wanted me to nominate someone else as an heir.

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

Captain Novolin posted:

I got it sorted out, and I'm going to try to hold Jerusalem (at least until someone tries to attack, then I'm going to dump the title on whatever duke I like the least). The muslim problem is also gone, since there's a only a couple tiny sheiks that even my dukes can handle on their own. The mongol problem, on the other hand, now includes everything from the Byzantine empire, which is just north of Damascus, to somewhere partway around the mediterranian, along with a nice swath of eastern europe that's bordering Hungary. Are they normally this powerful, or did I get really unlucky with them reforming Tengri shortly after invading?

The title loss thing got figured out while I was carving up Jerusalem. I think the game wanted me to nominate someone else as an heir.


Christ, how far over the demesne limit are you? :stare:

Zebrin
Mar 12, 2010

Chopping trees down and making elves cry.
For when you want to say "gently caress gold forever."
Humm, question, since this hasn't actually come up in the Republic run, why am I bleeding money? When I am a Duke/King/Emperor ect. I don't have any negative modifiers unless I am running a levy army or am over my demesne limit, I can't figure out where this negative to cash-flow is coming from though.
I haven't been able to find a "Budget flow" that corresponds to the actual income I am netting yet.

Allyn
Sep 4, 2007

I love Charlie from Busted!

Zebrin posted:

For when you want to say "gently caress gold forever."
Humm, question, since this hasn't actually come up in the Republic run, why am I bleeding money? When I am a Duke/King/Emperor ect. I don't have any negative modifiers unless I am running a levy army or am over my demesne limit, I can't figure out where this negative to cash-flow is coming from though.
I haven't been able to find a "Budget flow" that corresponds to the actual income I am netting yet.

Click on your flag at the bottom left of your guy's portrait and it has a full breakdown. Republicans have to pay to every male family member in their court which is probably it, I would imagine. You have to keep building new trade posts to compensate (and extra male dynasty members expand your cap, so it's not really an issue). Either that or you forgot to disband some boats -- they cost shitloads.

beefart
Jul 5, 2007

IT'S ON THE HOUSE OF AMON
~grandmaaaaaaa~

Allyn posted:

Click on your flag at the bottom left of your guy's portrait and it has a full breakdown. Republicans have to pay to every male family member in their court which is probably it, I would imagine. You have to keep building new trade posts to compensate (and extra male dynasty members expand your cap, so it's not really an issue). Either that or you forgot to disband some boats -- they cost shitloads.

That and when you're a patrician, you don't have as many vassals whose levies you can use, so when you raise an army you're typically paying them on your own dime.

A Real Happy Camper
Dec 11, 2007

These children have taught me how to believe.

TinTower posted:

Christ, how far over the demesne limit are you? :stare:

At its peak I was around 57/7 for my demense. When you win a crusade you get literally every title in the kingdom of Jerusalem, right down to the baronies .

Nakar
Sep 2, 2002

Ultima Ratio Regum
Has anyone ever seen the AI actually win a Jerusalem crusade that didn't just create a lovely terrible rump state that didn't even have sea access? I've never, ever seen a crusade for Jerusalem end in any semblance of even somewhat persistent victory, let alone ever seen an AI-created KoJ survive the game out (which shouldn't be likely, of course, but it'd still be fun to see). At best they will "win," get Jersualem and one other county tops, then be utterly annihilated by a Muslim dogpile a few years later.

I'm sure it's possible to make the state viable with player meddling, but I've yet to ever see it do anything remotely resembling survival on its own.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
I've seen France hold it for quite a while.

Of course, holding it turned France Muslim, which provoked a Crusade against France and I ended up conquering them, which cut the Kingdom of Jerusalem loose as an independent state again. But it can be done!

A Real Happy Camper
Dec 11, 2007

These children have taught me how to believe.
In my game the first crusade was successful and Jerusalem not only lasted a good 100+ years, but also ended up taking over France a while after they became independent. I think it was because the heir to the kingdom of France lost a bunch of titles on succession. They lost the Holy Land under my last ruler (who had a good 45 year reign) and completely fractured a decade or two later.

Cyberius
Sep 24, 2007
Totally Fake
The Kingdom of Jerusalem is still kicking around in my current game after about 200 years of existence, which sounds more impressive than it is because they own half of France and nothing in the Levant.

Annoying Note: If you go to Crusade for Jerusalem when the Kingdom of Jerusalem has already been founded, they get all that land, even if they didn't lift a goddamn finger to take it. :argh:

ArchangeI
Jul 15, 2010
Honestly, most of the time the Muslim counterinvasions are Jihads, and those make most of Europe come to your aid. In my games Jerusalem usually exists until I get sick and tired of them always siding with the rebells in every war. You don't want to be my vassals? Fine, lets see you stand up to the muslim invasions without my levies to back you up. Have fun.

Strayed
Mar 3, 2013
I've actually seen AI Matilda of Tuscany win the first crusade and have de jure Jerusalem stay in catholic hands for an entire game before. Of course after her wining it the HRE revoked the title and started a 400 year long pissing match over who should be the King of Jerusalem. What confused me about that game was that while the HRE was almost always at civil war they expanded more than I've ever seen without player intervention.

Zebrin
Mar 12, 2010

Chopping trees down and making elves cry.

Allyn posted:

Click on your flag at the bottom left of your guy's portrait and it has a full breakdown. Republicans have to pay to every male family member in their court which is probably it, I would imagine. You have to keep building new trade posts to compensate (and extra male dynasty members expand your cap, so it's not really an issue). Either that or you forgot to disband some boats -- they cost shitloads.

Huh. Thanks, I did not know that... Well, more knowledge, more leverage, more power to gently caress with history.

Just Winging It
Jan 19, 2012

The buck stops at my ass
I've seen the kingdom of Jerusalem survive just fine. The only reason it did is because the kaiser won it and Jerusalem became part of the HRE. A stable, blobby HRE that no AI dared gently caress with.

beefart
Jul 5, 2007

IT'S ON THE HOUSE OF AMON
~grandmaaaaaaa~


Concerning Haraldr’s Dream, and How Eirikr Fulfilled It



When we left off, we got a nice little bit of army morale by sending a select few of our vassals to the gallows, so we continue the trend of endless warfare and march an army over to the last remaining Finnish holdout in the entirety of Scandinavia.



Of course after dealing with the initial resistance, I happened to forget that Finland’s flora and fauna is toxic or some poo poo so my men start dropping like flies at a rate of 2% per month. After a few hundred men perish my wits returned to me and I raised a couple thousand more men to expedite the occupation.





While we wait for the reinforcements to arrive, we should take a look and see if the elections for our kingdoms will proceed in the way we want them to. Our son Haraldr is set to inherit all of them, but our brothers Håkon and Hroðulfr are also contenders. This could be problematic because if we die and Haraldr loses one or more elections, those kingdoms will become independent from us. And we can’t subjugate anymore because we reformed the religion, so a lot is riding on him winning.



Our reinforcements arrive and we manage to finish off the occupation. By now we should have enough provinces to form Scandinavia, seeing as we have literally everything except for Denmark!



Dammit. So we’re a few provinces short. How can we remedy this?



War with Denmark would be problematic. We’ve been friends to the Jutes for decades now, and we won’t gain any significant ground on them. Plus we get a prestige loss for declaring war on an ally. This will be our last-resort option.



This is one of those times when De Jure Empire Mapmode comes in handy. Looking at Scandinavia’s de jure lands, it stretches a bit into Estonia, which is part of the de jure Kingdom of Finland. One province is owned by Mega-Lithuania, which will be a difficult fight, but we can nab either of the two independent ones pretty easily.




One of these guys is revolting against his liege, the King of Holmgarðr. Apparently even though Rurik’s son was a Slavic pagan, one of his Norse relatives booted him out. Right now, he’s winning the fight against his rebelling vassals, so the war will be over soon. We’ll leave him be for now.



The other guy is a perfect target. No alliances, no wars, just sitting there waiting for us to ruin his day.



Resistance is minimal, as usual. The war is over in a matter of weeks, and we open up a new front on the Baltic with a very large rival. Also, we get a new culture to rule over, the Estonians. Like their Finnish cousins, they have a natural aversion to us.



Our research is progressing very well. On the cultural side, we finally have enough research points to get another level of Legalism. This adds to our maximum demesne size and reduces our Short Reign penalty, which is awesome. Short Reign is a negative opinion modifier that applies to every ruler when they take the throne, and it’s a main contributor to many succession crises.



Our sprawling realm now has a variety of different ethnicities represented in it. We want to continue to propagate Eirikr’s reputation as a kind-hearted man, as his runestone makes him out to be, so we want to make all of these different ethnic groups feel included. One research area, Tolerance, reduces the negative opinion modifier that occurs from being of a different religion or culture group from another character. After a bit of searching, we send our Spymaster to learn more about tolerance in some land called Azerbaijan :v:.



The rebellion in Ingria is still going on and looks like it’s at a stalemate, so we move in to grab it before the war ends.



And it ends almost as soon as we get started occupying. That’s ok though, we just declare another de jure war against the Rurikids for that county since Finland is on Medium Crown Authority



Once again, Kol has rebel troubles, this time in Scotland. We ship some of our levies from Frisia to help out.





After a fairly evenly matched battle, the rebels break and retreat further inland. During the battle, Eirikr managed to develop his father’s inexplicable shield-eating habit and went apeshit on some Scots.



Painted wood is apparently not the best thing for your digestive tract, and Eirikr becomes seriously ill after the battle, and remains that way for several years without any improvement.



Notice that because we are reformed pagans, we are getting penalties for having our vassals raised too long. It’s easy to overlook in the Norse environment of endless wars, but it is definitely something to look out for.



Plagued by an angry populace and hungry Slav neighbors, the Rurikids throw in the towel and give us Ingria, which gives us enough of Scandinavia’s de jure lands to call ourselves an empire!




At last, we have a united Scandinavia, as Haraldr envisioned. Well, Scandinavia minus Denmark. But Denmark is part of our de jure empire, so they’ll come into the fold willingly, right?



Apparently not. It’s a good thing we have a contingency plan in the form of our daughter in law, who will pass on an inheritable claim to Denmark. Moreover, because she's a strong claimant, we could press her claim right now and dethrone Kol, and she'll end up our de jure vassal in the end. The great thing about empires is that if you have a kingdom in your de jure empire that you're having trouble getting, you can press any random courtier's claim to add it to your empire, regardless of whether or not there is a family connection. On the other hand, Kol's been a worthy ally and has been a source of aid to us in times of need, so I think he's earned that autonomy. Plus we get a 50 prestige hit every time we declare war on an ally (a relatively minimal inconvenience since we've got mounds of prestige and we'd probably recoup it in battles alone). Kol's also middle aged and he's been maimed in one of his many wars against the Christians, so it's likely that he won't last much longer, and our alliance will die with him. (Author's note: I read gud, this section has been updated as of 9/30 with correct information. Special thanks to CapnAndy, Cease to Hope, JT Jag, and Darth Various for pointing that out.)



As with every founding of a new kingdom or empire when you have elective succession, we’ll want to go ahead and nominate our chosen successor for the new title. We throw in our vote for Haraldr.




When I form an empire, what I like to do is to continue to centralize power in just a few vassals as opposed to a bunch of guys that you have to bend over backwards for to keep them happy. So, I went ahead and transfer my kingdom titles for Sviþjod and Finland to Eirikr’s brothers. This was probably a terrible idea in retrospect, because they have claims on all of our poo poo, but I like to roleplay a bit and keep things in the family; plus neither of them are Ambitious, so they probably won’t actively try to gently caress with us unless we give them good cause. Plus, I always prefer to hang onto one kingdom as a contingency in the likely even that you have a poo poo heir that everyone hates and then EVERYONE revolts.



Also probably a bad idea because of the way the AI likes to handle elections. The AI seems to prefer family members as possible successors, but it also prefers landed successors. This means that we’ll want to give Haraldr a bit of land so that Håkon doesn’t end up winning and screwing up our plan. We just got some prime real estate in beautiful Estonia that isn’t generating any kind of profit or providing us with levies because it was recently conquered that we can pass on to Haraldr. You typically don’t want to give your chosen successor any land because the AI is not very good at picking spouses or educators, but Haraldr is already married, and he would also be a great mentor for his children (assuming the AI will pick him to educate them).



This seems to do the trick, and Haraldr quickly begins getting votes.



In 912, King Kol decides that it is time to expand into Germany and drags us into a war against the Karlings. While a period of peace and quiet would be good right about now, it would also be immensely satisfying to smash the Karling power bloc. Plus Eirikr has been sick for 3 whole years now after first harnessing the berserker rage. If he’s going to die, why not have him die in battle instead?



Notice how our scheme of centralization is turning out. Now when we raise our vassals’ levies, at least where we have a King in place, the levies of the entire kingdom will come out in one place, so we don’t have to worry about waiting for everyone to consolidate their men.



We amass an army of 18,000 men and land them in Germany just as the Danes start the battle.



Our arrival turns the tide for the Danes, and the German forces suffer a catastrophic loss.



Unfortunately, right at the end of this battle, Eirikr I, “The Fowler”, Emperor of Scandinavia, passes on to Asgard at the height of his prowess from his mystery illness. It’s as if Asgard was telling him “You’re never going to top this, so we’ll just take you as you are.”

Next time: muttonstache, and Scandinavia takes on a life of its own.

beefart fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Sep 30, 2013

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
Why bother pressing a claim on Denmark now? You can just de jure take it without removing the current leadership, whom you like apart from that whole "won't submit to me" thing.

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying
Because you can only press de jure claims one county at a time, so it takes a lot of wars and a lot of time for a whole kingdom.

EDIT: Wait, you're doing one of the LPs in this thread. You must know this already. :confused:

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011

Sindai posted:

Because you can only press de jure claims one county at a time, so it takes a lot of wars and a lot of time for a whole kingdom.
On the other hand, nibbling it away bit by bit makes it easier to break up any megaduke vassals, land family members, and generally sort things out to ensure stability, instead of giving you a whole pile of pissed off foreigners at once.

It's easy to bite off more than you can chew any time you're taking a whole kingdom at once outside of a crusade.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
So, on one hand, the King of Denmark is a cool guy and you like him.

On the other hand, he's not a member of your dynasty. Can and replace him.

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beefart
Jul 5, 2007

IT'S ON THE HOUSE OF AMON
~grandmaaaaaaa~
As of yet, we don't have any kind of de jure claim CB on Denmark, and all we can do right now is hit each county in succession with de jure claim wars. This won't be necessary, because Kol's middle-aged and gimped, so he won't last that much longer. After that we'll be one assassination away from forcing a regency and putting a claimant on the throne (although Haraldr's wife has to die first). It's a lot quicker than taking it all piecemeal and having to sit out the truce every time.

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