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Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful



Grimey Drawer

A ticket came in

A password reset site is not working

A password reset site that isn't controlled by the Helpdesk or by our Accounts team.

A password reset site that no one has ever seen before.

So why does this tool exist?

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movax
Aug 30, 2008



mpyro posted:

Shame a new topic. Wasn't even halfway done reading the horrors within the last one.

It's OK, you don't need archives to continue reading the old one

e:

Sirotan posted:

Yo movax, were we closing the 'poo poo you come across daily' thread as well and combining it with this one? Or was that not the plan?


Edit: grammers

Oh, you're right, that was the initial plan, let's give that a trial run.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


THF13 posted:

Requesting one of my favorite moments from the previous thread, fan pointed at thermostat.jpg

We should compile a "Greatest Hits" for the OP.

Some possible candidates:

Servertetris.jpg
TheSuspenseisKillingMe.jpg
FuckYourCableRunsWithMyCircularSaw.jpg

Javid
Oct 21, 2004

My sole partiality is to that delectable spiced meat. Any additional confederation of vegetables shall not compromise the pie as I see it.

The sagas of Midelne and Dick Trauma should be compiled elsewhere for posterity. I tried to get it to put all the posts on one page but the forums seems to ignore the perpage=?? in the URL so I can't.

Midelne: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...17&userid=28872
Dick: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...7&userid=128422

movax
Aug 30, 2008



Javid posted:

The sagas of Midelne and Dick Trauma should be compiled elsewhere for posterity. I tried to get it to put all the posts on one page but the forums seems to ignore the perpage=?? in the URL so I can't.

Midelne: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...17&userid=28872
Dick: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...7&userid=128422

Disable the 'automatically parse URL' when you post and you should able to the post exact URL you want.

Flipperwaldt
Nov 11, 2011

Won't somebody think of the starving hamsters in China?



psydude posted:

We should compile a "Greatest Hits" for the OP.
Who could forget Dickbag '95?

Javid
Oct 21, 2004

My sole partiality is to that delectable spiced meat. Any additional confederation of vegetables shall not compromise the pie as I see it.

movax posted:

Disable the 'automatically parse URL' when you post and you should able to the post exact URL you want.

That I did. But I mean adding perpage=1000 doesn't actually change the number of posts per page, so I can't just PDF print the whole thing in one go.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

So a ticket came in.

A guy was having connectivity issue with a PC. This is a different client than I normally deal with but not a big deal. I troubleshoot his system, an older XP computer, and signs point to a failed NIC. Call up my manager to let him know because this client isn't on a plan and doesn't have a dedicated support team.

Hey, I talked to the guy and troubleshot his PC. Looks like the NIC on his computer failed and will need to be replaced.

alright sounds good, make a ticket and send it to sales, they'll quote him a new PC and you can sell it to him.

Uhh sell it to him? I'm not a salesman, we have a sales department for that.

Since this client isn't on a monthly plan, the agents that work with them have to sell them the upgrades.

... so the only times that sales gets involved is if the client is already in a contract?

yes

cant we just sell him a $15 nic and get him up and running instead of him being down for a week because we have to order in a new PC for him?

No. Sell him a new computer.

Do I get commission on it?

no, you aren't sales. Only sales gets commission.

...

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE


blackswordca posted:

So a ticket came in.

A guy was having connectivity issue with a PC. This is a different client than I normally deal with but not a big deal. I troubleshoot his system, an older XP computer, and signs point to a failed NIC. Call up my manager to let him know because this client isn't on a plan and doesn't have a dedicated support team.

Hey, I talked to the guy and troubleshot his PC. Looks like the NIC on his computer failed and will need to be replaced.

alright sounds good, make a ticket and send it to sales, they'll quote him a new PC and you can sell it to him.

Uhh sell it to him? I'm not a salesman, we have a sales department for that.

Since this client isn't on a monthly plan, the agents that work with them have to sell them the upgrades.

... so the only times that sales gets involved is if the client is already in a contract?

yes

cant we just sell him a $15 nic and get him up and running instead of him being down for a week because we have to order in a new PC for him?

No. Sell him a new computer.

Do I get commission on it?

no, you aren't sales. Only sales gets commission.

...

AKA they want to save money on commission sales by making people that aren't sales, and therefore commission isn't written into your contract, do the work so the company makes more money

Ursine Asylum
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes



I love how almost every time I start mentally screaming "Get out of there" I look at the username and realize it's you.

(Point still stands though.)

Haquer
Nov 15, 2009

That windswept look...

Shalhavet posted:

It's in the Comedy Goldmine.

That and it would've gotten archived anyway.

KweezNArt
Jul 29, 2007


blackswordca posted:

<MORE WORKPLACE ASSHATTERY>

Eff that, man. If I make the sale, I get the cut. Or I go to the employment commission with another two pages in the already giant binder of employer malfeasance to file against these people.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Ursine Asylum posted:

I love how almost every time I start mentally screaming "Get out of there" I look at the username and realize it's you.

(Point still stands though.)

I email out 3-5 resumes a day at a minimum. I know I have a few places im in "consideration" for but are taking their sweet time making a decision.

Edit:

KweezNArt posted:

Eff that, man. If I make the sale, I get the cut. Or I go to the employment commission with another two pages in the already giant binder of employer malfeasance to file against these people.

Yeah no kidding. Ill be honest, I wouldn't be at all surprised that the guy who wrote up the quote got the commission

blackswordca fucked around with this message at Aug 13, 2013 around 16:06

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005



I read the old thread and I'm glad to see Midelne is finally in greener pastures -- otherwise I think we would have heard him complaining.

I've got some stories... I don't know where to start...

- There was my racist colleague who turned out to be a pedophile...
- The incompetent network engineer who took 45 minutes to tell me a story about how he got his sneakers...
- The guy who would have random women visit him at work...

couldcareless
Feb 8, 2009

Spheal used Swagger!

blackswordca posted:

dumb sales stuff

My last job was similar to this, except there was no sales department, my boss just pocketed anything we made off hardware sales as far as I could tell. Of course, this made me only replace/fix what was called for and not shove new computers and equipment down people's throats unless it was required. I think I even recommended the user buy their own equipment in some cases.

I really hated that job, but I liked my clients.

b0red
Apr 3, 2013



Not IT but in the light of sales. When I worked at best buy for a time, the only people who say extra money from extra sales pushed out were the managers. So instead of being an rear end in a top hat and selling people poo poo they didn't need I'd give them the best bang for their budget which in turn would have me ranked as the best salesman in my department. People would walk in with $100 looking for speakers for their TV and not realize the $89 logitech speakers for computers sound insanely better than the $150 sound bar we had. God I hated best buy. I think the only HDMI cable I sold was the $300 25ft MONSTER hdmi cable, and I tried to talk the guy out of it.

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


Building Android every day.

Ok, to be fair I shouldn't have to, but the init system for android is awful, and since 90% of the internet's pool of knowledge dealing with the actual android source code is how to build it and flash it and if anything goes wrong ask cyanogenmod, I am looking at the code myself for init and other various things.

So far so good, the code isn't a terrible mess, the structure is a terrible mess though. Soon I feel like I am going to run into David Bowie and break into a song.

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005



A buddy of mine worked for Best Buy for a month. He ended up being let go because he wouldn't cram Monster cables down the customers throat when they bought a new PC/Monitor combo that had HDMI connections, talk people into opening up credit cards with ridiculous rates, and trying to sell them a Ferrari when they just want a Yugo.

Sab669
Sep 24, 2009



Spazz posted:

A buddy of mine worked for Best Buy for a month. He ended up being let go because he wouldn't cram Monster cables down the customers throat when they bought a new PC/Monitor combo that had HDMI connections, talk people into opening up credit cards with ridiculous rates, and trying to sell them a Ferrari when they just want a Yugo.

This is basically why I hated Staples as well. Push Norton, Word, service plans and everything else with every purchase. If the whole store did really well we'd get an extra $0.50 per hour on our paycheck

IndustrialApe
Jul 15, 2001

Maar geen cent teveel hoor...


SEKCobra posted:

Headshots are normal for all CVs here, is this not true for you guys?

it's not common here, but i've seen a lot more of in the past year.

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005



Sab669 posted:

This is basically why I hated Staples as well. Push Norton, Word, service plans and everything else with every purchase. If the whole store did really well we'd get an extra $0.50 per hour on our paycheck

Honestly, the only shop I've seen that doesn't do that is the Microcenter near me. Those guys also get actual commission from sales, so it's in their best interest to have happy customers. The most they try to do is push warranties, which as long as it covers accidental damage on laptops I'm all for getting those. I had my laptop screen shot with an airsoft rifle and Dell replaced it no questions asked.

A lot of these companies also have non-compete clauses, so if you do a little work on the side fixing computers they could technically fire you for it since it's taking business away from Geek$quad. Any employment attorney could poke holes in those contracts, but who can afford that? I turned down an interview for a place in Southern NJ because they wanted me to sign an NDA and non-compete contract prior to even interviewing with them. I laughed at the person I was talking to on the phone and said "No thanks."

DreamingApe posted:

it's not common here, but i've seen a lot more of in the past year.

I think it's the Facebook generation. I have my headshot on my LinkedIn profile, but not on my resume. The first thing I want an employer to see is my experience and accomplishments, what I look like is second. I know a hiring manager who tosses resumes with headshots because of the potential for discrimination cases.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



blackswordca posted:

So a ticket came in.

A guy was having connectivity issue with a PC. This is a different client than I normally deal with but not a big deal. I troubleshoot his system, an older XP computer, and signs point to a failed NIC. Call up my manager to let him know because this client isn't on a plan and doesn't have a dedicated support team.

Hey, I talked to the guy and troubleshot his PC. Looks like the NIC on his computer failed and will need to be replaced.

alright sounds good, make a ticket and send it to sales, they'll quote him a new PC and you can sell it to him.

Uhh sell it to him? I'm not a salesman, we have a sales department for that.

Since this client isn't on a monthly plan, the agents that work with them have to sell them the upgrades.

... so the only times that sales gets involved is if the client is already in a contract?

yes

cant we just sell him a $15 nic and get him up and running instead of him being down for a week because we have to order in a new PC for him?

No. Sell him a new computer.

Do I get commission on it?

no, you aren't sales. Only sales gets commission.

...

Tell the client the truth, tell your boss he figured out he can buy his own NIC.

Mierdaan
Sep 14, 2004



Pillbug

Submitted for OP:

IndustrialApe
Jul 15, 2001

Maar geen cent teveel hoor...


Spazz posted:

I think it's the Facebook generation. I have my headshot on my LinkedIn profile, but not on my resume. The first thing I want an employer to see is my experience and accomplishments, what I look like is second. I know a hiring manager who tosses resumes with headshots because of the potential for discrimination cases.

Funny, I just disabled my LinkedIN account because it was just sitting there and aquiring "links" that were just as inactive as I was. The Libraryworld doesn't *do* linkedIN it seems.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

Bo Knows Posting


A phone call came in.

yes, you have a dial up account with us
no, we do not host your website
no, I don't want you to describe child porn to me
no, please don't forward it to me
yes, please tell the FBI

I am pretty sure I had one of these from a different customer not too long ago. That really makes me ill.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

5 and a bit years of the poo poo thread and a healthy clique! End of an era.

This... this doesn't mean it's the end of the perpetual YotJ does it? D: I was hoping to hop onto that in a coupla months.


Right here we go:
Marketing people
Printers
Label printers
Bounced emails blamed on our Exchange server

I think that about summarises tickets that don't come in (no ticket system) that poo poo me off daily

Spazz
Nov 17, 2005



DreamingApe posted:

Funny, I just disabled my LinkedIN account because it was just sitting there and aquiring "links" that were just as inactive as I was. The Libraryworld doesn't *do* linkedIN it seems.

I keep mine active because there's someone out there who committed a pretty hilarious DUI that got national coverage who has the same name as me. Given, I'm not a woman, and she's in the Midwest and I'm in PA, I'd rather an employer be able to differentiate between the two.

Syano
Jul 13, 2005


Spazz posted:

I read the old thread and I'm glad to see Midelne is finally in greener pastures -- otherwise I think we would have heard him complaining.



I actually sort of viewed it differently. To me his story was almost a Shakespearean tragedy. He starts off with a terrible boss and his final post and the last thing we heard from him was how it appears his new boss is now better.

Phone
Jul 30, 2005

J S R  b r b S h o r t c u t


College Slice

RIP old thread. I really liked how I created it as a student and then got to use it for the stupidity in my brief tenure as a CJ.

wolrah
May 8, 2006
what?


Lum posted:

Any others?

Movey and the game of musical offices?

stubblyhead
Sep 13, 2007

That is treason, Johnny!

Fun Shoe

blackswordca posted:

I email out 3-5 resumes a day at a minimum. I know I have a few places im in "consideration" for but are taking their sweet time making a decision.

I'd like to propose that we all back off blackswordca's rear end just a little bit. The guy knows he's in a bad place and is trying to get out.

ookiimarukochan
Apr 4, 2011




Customer just asked if we could interface with his spunk server. I assume that was a typo, as the alternative is too vile to contemplate.

cis autodrag
Jan 6, 2012

that's just applause from ghosts




Gary’s Answer

Mierdaan posted:

Submitted for OP:



You kid, but our April Fool's joke this year was a blog post stating that our database platform could now be run on a Blackberry Pi within a BeOS VM. One of our customer's DBAs decided that that was just. too. possible to be an April Fool's joke and spent a week trying to actually make such a beast to prove to us that it wasn't a very funny joke.

Gwaihir
Dec 8, 2009



Soiled Meat

psydude posted:

We should compile a "Greatest Hits" for the OP.

Some possible candidates:

Servertetris.jpg
TheSuspenseisKillingMe.jpg
FuckYourCableRunsWithMyCircularSaw.jpg

Missing the epic saga of the website printed out, scanned, inserted in to a powerpoint, printed again, faxed, scanned on the other end, emailed, and turned in to a QR code.

Pham Nuwen
Oct 30, 2010

Niles Hokkanen's Pocket Guide to Mandolin Chords is hands-down the best mandolin chordbook you can buy, and a damn steal at less than the cost of a decent pint. It doesn't just show you the chords, it actually explains the concepts behind them.

ratbert90 posted:

Building Android every day.

Ok, to be fair I shouldn't have to, but the init system for android is awful, and since 90% of the internet's pool of knowledge dealing with the actual android source code is how to build it and flash it and if anything goes wrong ask cyanogenmod, I am looking at the code myself for init and other various things.

This really is a major problem with getting help on the Internet anyway. There's a shitload of shallow knowledge out there, often replicated (sometimes poorly) from some original source. If you want to go any further than building cyanogenmod for your phone and installing it, you're stuck. Want to know how Android interacts with the radio? Tough poo poo, better start digging through the source code, because xXx420bonerzxXx on the forums knows gently caress-all beyond how to run a rooting util. And if you ask about something, every dumb gently caress will do a google search for what you asked and post the first result without even loving considering if there's any relevance. Gotta get those StackOverflow points!

Nativity In Black
Oct 24, 2012

If you're gonna have roads, you're gonna have roadkill.

Sab669 posted:

This is basically why I hated Staples as well. Push Norton, Word, service plans and everything else with every purchase. If the whole store did really well we'd get an extra $0.50 per hour on our paycheck

The first "Tech" Job I got after getting my A+ cert was in a call center doing tech support for the warranties that Staples (and others) sold. People called in all the time because someone at the store had told them their warranty covered X thing or that they could walk in and get a replacement no questions asked. I grew to hate the sales people until I realized that A) There were plenty of people who were willing to shoot customers straight and B) This was all of course shoved down by management to get better numbers. I left that job after 9 months for a slightly less soul crushing job that I stayed at for 2 years.

In the poo poo That Pisses You Off Thread people were discussing monitor resolutions and reminded me of a particular issue I had. We had a vendor that came to over see the final install and setup of a Police Records system. Since I was am the only IT guy at this place, I ended up getting called over and over to perform IT backflips and "make it work..." I got a call from our Court Clerk telling me the Vendor said she needed a larger monitor. I go down there and she has a 20" monitor with a native resolution of 1280x1024. Because she's older this usually runs at 1024x768. Not a big deal right? The software the vendor is pushing wont fit on this screen. So his solution is to get a bigger screen. This isn't the first completely batshit solution this guy has had either. The software supposedly works well and the Police Chief likes it, so I'm willing to make it work, but this guy doesn't seem to understand that we are working with a relatively small budget.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Nativity In Black posted:

The first "Tech" Job I got after getting my A+ cert was in a call center doing tech support for the warranties that Staples (and others) sold. People called in all the time because someone at the store had told them their warranty covered X thing or that they could walk in and get a replacement no questions asked. I grew to hate the sales people until I realized that A) There were plenty of people who were willing to shoot customers straight and B) This was all of course shoved down by management to get better numbers. I left that job after 9 months for a slightly less soul crushing job that I stayed at for 2 years.

In the poo poo That Pisses You Off Thread people were discussing monitor resolutions and reminded me of a particular issue I had. We had a vendor that came to over see the final install and setup of a Police Records system. Since I was am the only IT guy at this place, I ended up getting called over and over to perform IT backflips and "make it work..." I got a call from our Court Clerk telling me the Vendor said she needed a larger monitor. I go down there and she has a 20" monitor with a native resolution of 1280x1024. Because she's older this usually runs at 1024x768. Not a big deal right? The software the vendor is pushing wont fit on this screen. So his solution is to get a bigger screen. This isn't the first completely batshit solution this guy has had either. The software supposedly works well and the Police Chief likes it, so I'm willing to make it work, but this guy doesn't seem to understand that we are working with a relatively small budget.

A+ is the worst poo poo as far as I can gather.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

Bo Knows Posting


Okay if someone can find the requested pictures, I will add them to the OP. I am in the process of grabbing some user post history links from the old thread to add to it now.

Sab669
Sep 24, 2009



Nativity In Black posted:

The first "Tech" Job I got after getting my A+ cert was in a call center doing tech support for the warranties that Staples (and others) sold. People called in all the time because someone at the store had told them their warranty covered X thing or that they could walk in and get a replacement no questions asked. I grew to hate the sales people until I realized that A) There were plenty of people who were willing to shoot customers straight and B) This was all of course shoved down by management to get better numbers. I left that job after 9 months for a slightly less soul crushing job that I stayed at for 2 years.

That does sound awful. I always felt bad when a customer came back in with a problem and we just had to turn them away and tell them to call the number on the warranty form.

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PerrineClostermann
Dec 15, 2012

Protect our Friends!

Anti-Poaching Task Force
Japari Park Service


Pham Nuwen posted:

This really is a major problem with getting help on the Internet anyway. There's a shitload of shallow knowledge out there, often replicated (sometimes poorly) from some original source. If you want to go any further than building cyanogenmod for your phone and installing it, you're stuck. Want to know how Android interacts with the radio? Tough poo poo, better start digging through the source code, because xXx420bonerzxXx on the forums knows gently caress-all beyond how to run a rooting util. And if you ask about something, every dumb gently caress will do a google search for what you asked and post the first result without even loving considering if there's any relevance. Gotta get those StackOverflow points!

It's a similar situation for a lot of hardware devices. There are tons of guides on hacking and installing CFW and pirating things on the PSP, but if you want to get down to the metal and low-level functions of the PSP and do some neat stuff, you have to put in some serious effort into finding details and specs on the system itself. It's disappointing that such knowledge isn't as common as it should be. You can still find some nice documentation on older systems like the NES and GBC, though.

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