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Lum
Aug 13, 2003



If anyone still gives a poo poo about the ongoing saga I've been having with my workplace completely loving up my co-worker's change from John -> Jane (incorrect titles, leaving her former, male, middle name next to her female first name, email bouncing for two days etc. etc.)

It's finally reached it's asinine conclusion. All the records are updated, except for those relating to company cars, the boss told her to wait until this point before informing customers but they left her with no facility to send out an email in her old name to let customers know of the change.

Fortunately the company does not implement SPF records, so I've gotten her to set up Thunderbird with her ISP's mail server and send the message out that way, so it's all sorted and no-one noticed.

Well almost all sorted, since the company wont update the records on her company car yet, the last hour of our drive home from the weekend away was done in limp home mode with an "engine malfunction" error on the display, as she was understandably reluctant to call out the breakdown services. Slightly annoying as once we were home and the car was rebooted it's all back to normal.

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MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

When life gives you lemons DANCE DANCE DANCE!

Paid in part by CF


I hate convincing people that I need what I'm asking for.

Hey, I need you to send me the configs from Ohio.
You mean Colorado right? We're working on Colorado.
No I need the ones from Ohio so I can do Colorado correctly.
But we're working on Colorado.
Right, so send me the Ohio ones.

I'm going to check my email in five minutes, and I will not have ohio.txt or any approximation thereof. I will, however, have all the information I can handle about Colorado.

Mr. Clark2
Sep 17, 2003

Rocco sez: Oh man, what a bummer. Woof.


Got this in an email a little while ago:

"Lynn walked into the wall behind Claudia's desk. At approximately 1:40 today. Please let me know if you have this on video... Please please please"

Ursine Asylum
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


Mr. Clark2 posted:

Got this in an email a little while ago:

"Lynn walked into the wall behind Claudia's desk. At approximately 1:40 today. Please let me know if you have this on video... Please please please"

I don't think requesting camera recordings of your coworkers waking into walls to submit to America's Funniest Home Videos is smiled upon by HR, generally speaking.

jre
Sep 2, 2011

To the cloud ?





Rhymenoserous posted:

This is code for "The server isn't in the rack where it should be".

I worked in webhosting, I loved finding a server with an asset tag on the opposite side of a 2000 square foot datacenter from where it should be.

Turns out this was code for we've hosed up the config on your server and are frantically trying to fix it before you notice.

Server was running xen hypervisor. After its unexpected power cycle it came backup up with a non xen kernel which fucks up the networking but its no biggy, you just have to reboot it with the right boot image selected. Unless you're our hosting company who try to 'fix' the networking by running system-config-network and overwriting the quite fiddly setup needed to get xen to bridge vlan'd connections.

Took them a further 4 hours to get a kvm connection that actually worked setup up so I could go in and fix it.

Only an 11 hour outage because they mislabeled the servers.

bort
Mar 13, 2003



Smart hands are going to save us so much money.

doomisland
Oct 5, 2004



Worst part about smart hands is you pay them 200 bucks an hour minimum half hour for a stupid task they gently caress up. Or that you have equivalent work being done in two sites and one DC does it with one guy in 45 minutes and the other takes two people 2 hours to do.

Helushune
Oct 5, 2011



Turns out my predecessors knew absolutely nothing about group policy but that didn't stop them from trying. Originally I found no less than 45 policies in the root and then they were just linked/delinked according to which OU they were being applied to (but not always). Today I was digging a bit deeper in an effort to clean up our extremely messy group policy tree and found several calls to a series of batch files which run a windows build of PHP off a different server who's sole job was to have a share with php.exe in it which then called back to various random shares on the group policy server and applied various registry files.


The last one I looked at before I left for the day attempted to modify Internet Explorer's version string to spoof some old version of Firefox.

Helushune fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 00:08

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Mr. Clark2 posted:

Got this in an email a little while ago:

"Lynn walked into the wall behind Claudia's desk. At approximately 1:40 today. Please let me know if you have this on video... Please please please"

I used to have admin on our DVR at old site (rapideye) and did client setups. None of the few client users knew how to do anything except watch live so they came to me to find out who kept pissing all over the men's room floor. I really wish I had a ticket for that, print it frame it and ship to my boss. As fun as that sounded I had to recuse myself from that task it was me and show them how to use the rewind fast forward and goto time/date buttons.

If no one abused their cctv privileges ever we'd not have been laughing for 10+ years before youtube even maybe at that fat lady who fell down a hole in the floor.

Did DickBag 95 have dev input from Peter Norton? lovely 90s software was all about Peter.

bort
Mar 13, 2003



You have cameras in your bathrooms?

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


bort posted:

You have cameras in your bathrooms?

You could see bathroom entrance from a couple cameras (guess i should've mentioned that) they kept getting reports of pissfloor and were trying to match up an entrant to a time. Shaky evidence I didn't want to be involved in any way.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


Were you pissing on the floor?

Intentionally?

bort
Mar 13, 2003



Wagonburner posted:

lovely 90s software was all about Peter.
And also, how dare you. Early 1990s Peter Norton was a god.

e: smiling at you from that yellow box.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


No but I shoud've started, they'd never expect 2, would throw them completely off their game.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


bort posted:

And also, how dare you. Early 1990s Peter Norton was a god.

e: smiling at you from that yellow box.

Dos apps you mean yes? Nc.exe

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 00:30

ConfusedUs
Feb 24, 2004

Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!


Helushune posted:

Turns out my predecessors knew absolutely nothing about group policy but that didn't stop them from trying. Originally I found no less than 45 policies in the root and then they were just linked/delinked according to which OU they were being applied to (but not always). Today I was digging a bit deeper in an effort to clean up our extremely messy group policy tree and found several calls to a series of batch files which run a windows build of PHP off a different server who's sole job was to have a share with php.exe in it which then called back to various random shares on the group policy server and applied various registry files.


The last one I looked at before I left for the day attempted to modify Internet Explorer's version string to spoof some old version of Firefox.

I had a customer whose backups kept failing, somehow. The backups of various network drives were failing because the service account was locked out.

The call eventually gets up the tree to me. I start digging through logs and I find out that the service account's password was being reset AND locked. I fixed the password and unlocked it, but a few minutes later it started failing again. Account was again locked out with a password reset.

Eventually, I find the weirdest drat thing. There was a script in Scheduled tasks that checked an Access database that stored all username/password combos. If the user wasn't in the database, it locked the account. If the password didn't meet complexity requirements, it reset the password.

The service account wasn't in the Access database and thus was getting locked. Its password wasn't complex enough and was getting reset (to "NoBadPassword4U!" lol).

I disabled the scheduled task and all was well. For a while. The guy called back the next day: it happened again.

Long story short, there was a GPO existed that ensured this script was added as a scheduled task to all machines on the domain and set to run every 5 minutes.

No one knew who set this up, or at least, no one would fess up. Rather than disable it or figure it out, the customer added the service account as a local user instead of a domain user. Because, you see, this convoluted script/database/GPO monster only did all that crazy poo poo for domain users.

It didn't give a gently caress about local accounts.

bort
Mar 13, 2003



Wagonburner posted:

Dos apps you mean yes? Nc.exe
Mostly joking. Guy wrote a cool program before free software and turned into this crazy icon of mediocrity, it's weird. If he'd killed someone instead of McAfee, now that would have been a story.

If Job's story had ended at the Newton, he'd have been Peter Norton, too.

guppy
Sep 21, 2004

sting like a byob

Roargasm posted:

Get your A+.
Similar to a college degree, it's doesn't as much prove what you know about IT as it proves that you're willing to organize your priorities, put in the time, and study it. Seriously so much of entry level IT is handled by recruiters these days it's ridiculous, get your A+ and put it at the top of your resume

If that's directed at me, I have A+ and Network+ certs and I've been working in the industry for a while now. I agree it's worth doing just to have the piece of paper, I'm just pointing out that -- at least when I did it -- there was a whole lot of useless stuff on it.

EDIT: It's been a while but I think I remember Network+ actually being decent if you have no networking background at all. I could be wrong.

GI_Clutch
Aug 22, 2000
Where is he? Where's who? Your leader! He's...to the east. Thanks for the infor...MATION!

Fun Shoe

Not quite a ticket, but something that was pretty funny in my opinion happened today.

One of our customers needs to swap in some new servers because their existing servers are old and out of warranty (fun fact, they purchased the old ones from the local Tractor & Implement who partitioned them all with just gigantic C: drives). Swapping in some new servers requires a project with our company so we can migrate all of our software to the new servers. I guess the customer was bugging us about when this would be done. The answer was that we couldn't start work until we we had a signed work order.

Well, I guess they assumed that just signing it and sending it to us was enough (they submitted it yesterday). Out of nowhere they called the sales team today. "Hey, we formatted the old server and installed the new one. We need someone to install the software." Yeah... We haven't even had our internal sales to implementation handoff, so the project isn't even officially in our team's hands yet. The person who will be performing the migration was on site with another customer because that was what was scheduled for that day and nothing is even scheduled for this migration yet.

In the end, he gave them some instructions on what pieces of software needed to be installed (stuff we should be getting paid for). Luckily for them, they didn't wipe out any important production data. The only thing hosted on this server was some third party software used for handing print jobs.

I'm just hoping the customer has learned a lesson from this.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


GI_Clutch posted:

I'm just hoping the customer has learned a lesson from this.

They did, the same lesson always learned: you are responsible for their mistakes.

Comradephate
Feb 28, 2009


College Slice

nitrogen posted:

Someone ages ago was asking about dropbox-like replacements for corporate use.

https://spideroak.com/business/ <-- check this out.

Bitching and moaning will continue shortly.

We use box.com at my work. It's pretty slick, and supports SSO. Also it's nice having 500GB of space

Wilford Cutlery
Mar 19, 2005

Stick a fork in me, I need to check my blood sugar.


Here are some classic Midelne memoirs, pics included: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...0#post413450688

And a little something I did at my last job:



frogbert
Jun 2, 2007


A couple of pictures from my collection:








evobatman
Jul 30, 2006

it means nothing, but says everything!

stubblyhead posted:

Didn't someone's wife then do that QR code in needlepoint as well?

Yeah, that was my wife, and we sold a few of them through SA Mart.

corgski
Feb 6, 2007



And what do I do but whip out my phone and scan it just to see what it says.

Swink
Apr 18, 2006
Left Side <--- Many Whelps

Server in the men's room.jpg? You have what it takes to work here at The Ticket Bitching Thread.

Crowley
Mar 13, 2003


thelightguy posted:

And what do I do but whip out my phone and scan it just to see what it says.

You keep it at your desk and point at it when people ask stupid questions. Then you let them scan it themselves.

I still keep mine right beside my monitor.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


A boss came in. And decided to up and upgrade one of our production T3 routers at 4:00 yesterday, despite the fact that the plan involved opening a proactive case with AT&T (which we hadn't been able to do yet due to our federal manager being busy) and for a solid 30 minutes for configuration audit ahead of time and 30 minutes of testing afterward. Of course I got roped into all of this poo poo at 4:30 (without any heads up) since I was the one who had done the configuration and wound up leaving late.

Only two more weeks at this place. He still hasn't found a replacement for me or the security guy who left and keeps asking me if I can stay around to help and I keep telling him no.

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004


psydude posted:

A boss came in. And decided to up and upgrade one of our production T3 routers at 4:00 yesterday, despite the fact that the plan involved opening a proactive case with AT&T (which we hadn't been able to do yet due to our federal manager being busy) and for a solid 30 minutes for configuration audit ahead of time and 30 minutes of testing afterward. Of course I got roped into all of this poo poo at 4:30 (without any heads up) since I was the one who had done the configuration and wound up leaving late.

Only two more weeks at this place.

If you gave notice already, why didn't you have plans that you couldn't break? I feel like once I give notice at my place, I will not be doing a single thing above and beyond and would really try to limit myself to knowledge transfer as much as possible.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


demonachizer posted:

If you gave notice already, why didn't you have plans that you couldn't break? I feel like once I give notice at my place, I will not be doing a single thing above and beyond and would really try to limit myself to knowledge transfer as much as possible.

I'm technically not quitting, I'm just going on a leave of absence because I'm being deployed overseas. That being said, I'm totally getting a new job when I get back, I just don't want to necessarily burn this bridge. I may have hosed up by not actually quitting, though, because then I could charge him outrageous sums of money in consultation fees after my last day.

Sirotan
Oct 17, 2006

Sirotan is a seal.


Swink posted:

Server in the men's room.jpg? You have what it takes to work here at The Ticket Bitching Thread.

I'm quite fond of this one as well:



And here's a couple other goodies from the old threads that deserve a repost:





And I really wanted to repost my tale of the spec bucket laptop for the new thread but wasn't sure if it was worthy or not.

Glans Dillzig
Nov 23, 2011



knickerbocker expert


Oh god, I had forgotten about scuba_diving_servers.jpg. A classic.

Sirotan, definitely repost that story. I have a distinct memory of reading it the first time and realizing that hey, maybe I had picked the wrong career path.

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



Definitely repost the spec bucket laptop. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or lose my lunch on that one!
Also the whole PDF of a scan of a printout of a word document of an error message thing.

Story:
A few months back a customer with a leased colour MFP put a new logo on all their documents.
Now they're quite upset that they're getting billed for printing loads of colour pages.
Turns out that new logo, though monochrome was an RGB JPEG.

Not sure who is worse, the fact that the lease company picked up on that enough to bill. The fact that you can't reasonably expect someone to know that a B&W JPEG in the wrong colour mode would do that, or even how to spot that.

Actually no the worst is that they're using a JPEG for a monochrome logo with lots of straight lines and lots of complicated fiddly detailed bits.

Edit: vvvvvvv OP needs a "gently caress printers" blingee in there somewhere.

Lum fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 13:56

Baby Town Frolics
Mar 21, 2008

It's like we've got each other's backs.

Have we said "gently caress Printers" yet? I get a ticket yesterday from a user that I just sent a printer to. The HP 6700 printer needs a "Setup Cartridge" to be initialized. The cartridge was not there. There is no bypass from what I can find online, and we do not carry stock of them. This is the first I've heard of this. So I had to ship the user a return label to send back a worthless paperweight disguised as an HP printer.

The good news is that my IT Department is not shipping out local printers anymore.... Who am I kidding? Give it a month we will be shipping them again after enough snowflakes get irritated.

Sirotan
Oct 17, 2006

Sirotan is a seal.


A bio-hazard came in....

Sirotan posted:

I was visiting a remote site to pick up some unusued equipment, and when I arrived I was shown a laptop sitting on a table and asked if that was why I was stopping by. Why no, I had not been informed there was any problem with a laptop. Conversation went something like this:

(it is important to note in this story that I work at a women's clinic)

Hey are you here to pick up this laptop?
I don't know anything about a laptop. Is it not working?
Do you want us to put it in a bag for you? It was in one before I'm not sure why someone took it out.
It was in a bag?
Yeah the spec bucket got spilled on it.
......spec bucket?
Its the bucket we clean the dirty speculums with.
Oh my god.
The entire thing got spilled onto the counter and the laptop was sitting there.
Oh my god.

I had them put it back into a bio-hazard bag and brought it back with me. Told my boss I had a present for him and then shared my tale of terror. He apparently didn't realize what had happened because he suggested we just stick it in a bag with some rice to 'dry it out'. I told him that it was covered in vaginal fluids and watched as his face twisted into a look of horror and disgust. Then I left it in his office! gently caress if I'm going to touch that thing.


SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


Uhm. Sorry, but as I work in a hospital, may I note that you are legally obliged to literally burn that fucker if you aren't going to decontaminate every nook and cranny? Like seriously, hand it off to whoever gets rid of biohazard stuff in that clinic or find someone who is qualified to dispose of contaminated materials, you shouldn't even be handling that without a (short) training on how to make sure you aren't endangering anyone.

Please get rid of it immediately, there are serious risks involved if not handled properly.

Edit:
And for the love of god, never put that in the normal electronics trash, you could infect whoever handles that, or worse.

HalloKitty
Sep 30, 2005

Adjust the bass and let the Alpine blast


SEKCobra posted:

Uhm. Sorry, but as I work in a hospital, may I note that you are legally obliged to literally burn that fucker if you aren't going to decontaminate every nook and cranny? Like seriously, hand it off to whoever gets rid of biohazard stuff in that clinic or find someone who is qualified to dispose of contaminated materials, you shouldn't even be handling that without a (short) training on how to make sure you aren't endangering anyone.

Please get rid of it immediately, there are serious risks involved if not handled properly.

This was a while ago, a repost from the old thread for nostalgia's sake

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


HalloKitty posted:

This was a while ago, a repost from the old thread for nostalgia's sake

Oh right, I am not that far into that one.

baquerd
Jul 2, 2007
I'M A FUCKING IDIOT



...and that's how I got chlamydia, I wasn't fooling around with anyone else I swear! Yep, vagina infected laptop did it, really!

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Lord Dudeguy
Sep 17, 2006
[Insert good English here]

A CFO came in...

We're expanding branches and employees by 20%.
Ok we'll need to order more storage/memory/servers/etc to meet the increased demand.
You don't have any room in your budget. Request denied.

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