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psydude
Mar 31, 2008

Perry'd.


Lord Dudeguy posted:

A CFO came in...

We're expanding branches and employees by 20%.
Ok we'll need to order more storage/memory/servers/etc to meet the increased demand.
You don't have any room in your budget. Request denied.

Move him over to the normal storage and exchange servers and watch your budget magically increase.

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Jeoh
Jul 20, 2010



baquerd posted:

...and that's how I got chlamydia, I wasn't fooling around with anyone else I swear! Yep, vagina infected laptop did it, really!

A ticket came in: From STD to CTD

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

So a call came in.

It was one of the owners. He tore me a new one for getting sales to send a quote to the customer I posted about yesterday. He then told me I should have tried replacing the NIC before quoting a new PC. When I mentioned that it was at the behest of my manager he said "you are a big boy, you can make your own decisions"

KaneTW
Dec 2, 2011



Make your own decisions now and rub it into your manager's face when he complains.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

KaneTW posted:

Make your own decisions now and rub it into your manager's face when he complains.

"sorry, the owner said im a big boy now, I don't have to listen to you anymore"

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



blackswordca posted:

"sorry, the owner said im a big boy now, I don't have to listen to you anymore"

"You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real boss."

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004


blackswordca posted:

So a call came in.

It was one of the owners. He tore me a new one for getting sales to send a quote to the customer I posted about yesterday. He then told me I should have tried replacing the NIC before quoting a new PC. When I mentioned that it was at the behest of my manager he said "you are a big boy, you can make your own decisions"

So I guess the lovely management starts at the top. He is setting you up to get screwed over for insubordination or something.

Lord Dudeguy
Sep 17, 2006
[Insert good English here]

psydude posted:

Move him over to the normal storage and exchange servers and watch your budget magically increase.

Two words: Storage Quotas

Today's going to be interesting.

KaneTW
Dec 2, 2011



Actually more like NO YOU SHUT THE gently caress UP BOSS

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

demonachizer posted:

So I guess the lovely management starts at the top. He is setting you up to get screwed over for insubordination or something.

Oh, I know. The first time I try and pull the "No, im not going to do that, its stupid" card, I'll get a monumental smackdown.

3 more resume's out this morning.

Edit: so i call the manager back who is also the dispatcher, tell him we need to replace the network card as I got a call from the owner that the client is upset about getting a quote. I didnt tell him anything the owner said. He gets quiet for a moment and very quietly asks me to assign the ticket to him and he will take care of it.

So minor win I guess, though I will probably pay for it later.

blackswordca fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 15:23

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams


QR Code to the scan of the printoff of the pdf of the etc etc.

I think this is the same one that got needlepointed? Anyway since we're taking credit I made this one:

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless you, ants. Blants.




Fun Shoe

Lord Dudeguy posted:

A CFO came in...

We're expanding branches and employees by 20%.
Ok we'll need to order more storage/memory/servers/etc to meet the increased demand.
You don't have any room in your budget. Request denied.

That old chestnut, the "employees only cost us their wages argument"

QuiteEasilyDone
Jul 1, 2010

Won't you play with me?


Caged posted:

That old chestnut, the "employees only cost us their wages argument"

Employees also only generate value if they're making sales.

Sab669
Sep 24, 2009



Sirotan posted:

A bio-hazard came in....

I missed this from the old thread

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005



Late in the old daily poo poo thread, I complained about intermittent network issues causing the whole building to lose Internet access for a few seconds to a few minutes, and that the Help Desk kept closing the ticket without it being resolved. My boss called someone he knows from when he worked at the main campus and bypassed the help desk. While still on the phone, it was quickly determined that the DHCP server ran out of IP addresses for the VLANs on our campus, somehow causing the entire network to poo poo itself. Some people around here are dumber than a sack of doorknobs and worth less in scrap value.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless you, ants. Blants.




Fun Shoe

Sab669 posted:

I missed this from the old thread

I read 'spec bucket' and was wondering what could be so noteworthy about a laptop that someone had just specced the highest price everything to put in it.

And then those memories came, uh, flooding back.

Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful



Grimey Drawer

The spec bucket story is my favourite from the old thread. Just an amazing combination of shcok and awe and amazingness at the same time.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Just imaged my first SSD equipped computer with the WDS/MDW setup we have here.

Holy crap its fast

Windows imaged, applications installed maybe 10 minutes to do it. Just have to finish up some windows updates and its done.

So much for padding my timesheet with this setup.

Glans Dillzig
Nov 23, 2011



knickerbocker expert


blackswordca posted:

So much for padding my timesheet with this setup.

Whoa whoa, let's not get TOO hasty.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Caged posted:

I read 'spec bucket' and was wondering what could be so noteworthy about a laptop that someone had just specced the highest price everything to put in it.

And then those memories came, uh, flooding back.

I'd forgotten about it and now that I've re-read it I remember why I wanted to forget about it.

Sirotan
Oct 17, 2006

Sirotan is a seal.


Dick Trauma posted:

I'd forgotten about it and now that I've re-read it I remember why I wanted to forget about it.

Mission accomplished.

And as a follow up, since I too work in healthcare and am also the one who takes care of all our electronics recycling, I can assure you it was disposed of properly and not sold on ebay to the highest paying fetishist or anything like that. Pinky swear.

Polio Vax Scene
Apr 5, 2009



I vaguely remember a story from the old thread, anyone care to recall the correct details? I think it was something like this:

An IT worker gets a letter from an unknown address, all that is inside is a CD. On the CD is a video file. That video file is nothing but a camera pointed at a computer monitor, where someone is quietly using a piece of software for several minutes, then a voice shouts "See? It doesn't work!" and that's the end of the video.

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


I know I should be bitching, but I just upgraded our network to gigabit. OH MY GOD, I AM TRANSFERING AT 115MB/Sec. It's FLYING!

MS Paint
Sep 21, 2007

Boring Ass Troll


Just got this:

"computer not starting up and blue Screen.
We do need to address this asap seeing how he uses this daily."

Maybe he doesn't know who I am.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless you, ants. Blants.




Fun Shoe

ratbert90 posted:

I know I should be bitching, but I just upgraded our network to gigabit. OH MY GOD, I AM TRANSFERING AT 115MB/Sec. It's FLYING!

Hey, stop that. This thread is off to far to cheerful a start, it will get depressing when someone looks back on it if it carries on like this.

Ursine Asylum
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


blackswordca posted:

Just imaged my first SSD equipped computer with the WDS/MDW setup we have here.

Holy crap its fast

Windows imaged, applications installed maybe 10 minutes to do it. Just have to finish up some windows updates and its done.

So much for padding my timesheet with this setup.

Add a couple (dozen) full-drive-zeroing passes to your pre-install workflow.

You know, for security.

Toxteth OGrady
May 28, 2013


I work helpdesk, sorry, Service Desk, so everything is a loving ticket.

I'm having a weird day though - one user actually asked me to punch him in the face, another promised me chocolate, and I've just created an account for someone called Jacky Wilson, putting the Dexy's song onto my internal jukebox for the rest of the night.

I've been in this job too long, currently YOTJing and nagging recruiters, but this is probably the wrong thread for that sort of thing.



(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Toxteth OGrady fucked around with this message at Aug 15, 2013 around 15:10

pr0digal
Sep 12, 2008

Alan Rickman Overdrive

ratbert90 posted:

I know I should be bitching, but I just upgraded our network to gigabit. OH MY GOD, I AM TRANSFERING AT 115MB/Sec. It's FLYING!

We're in the middle of a full office move to a new building. We're getting gigabit fiber pipe in the new building. It's going to blow away our current 20 meg EOC line.

In more the vein of the thread our sister company (aka the people who bought us) is insisting that we only cable (structured cabling) to what we need in the beginning as it's cheaper to have them come back and add more drops!

Because that's totally been the case in the past

pr0digal fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 17:01

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair


Ursine Asylum posted:

Add a couple (dozen) full-drive-zeroing passes to your pre-install workflow.

You know, for security.

Hey, you wouldn't build a house without leveling the grade first, right?

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless you, ants. Blants.




Fun Shoe

Toxteth OGrady posted:

one user actually asked me to punch him in the face

Did he look like the guy from Ted?

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

You're trying to say that you like DOS better then me, right?



Bleak Gremlin

I've really enjoyed reading an A+ study guide. I'm new to IT but I've been a "computer guy" for a long time.

My knowledge is a bit like swiss cheese: thick and rich in most places but there are some big holes.

So now I know how a laser printer actually works, that file systems have improved since FAT32, the basics for smartphones and what a subnet mask is.

Now I've just got to pass the test.

Edit:
Oops, I messed up and meant to post this in the IT thread.
Right thread, but a page late. A+ is good for new people like me but I'd hate to try and study it if I was a few years more advanced.

Dr. Arbitrary fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 17:02

Toxteth OGrady
May 28, 2013


Caged posted:

Did he look like the guy from Ted?

Haven't seen it, but if he only knew how close he came to getting that particular service request fulfilled.

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.


LeftistMuslimObama posted:

You kid, but our April Fool's joke this year was a blog post stating that our database platform could now be run on a Blackberry Pi within a BeOS VM. One of our customer's DBAs decided that that was just. too. possible to be an April Fool's joke and spent a week trying to actually make such a beast to prove to us that it wasn't a very funny joke.

gently caress you! I am now trying to get Haiku running on an RPi!!!!

IamJacksAlcoholism
Apr 29, 2013

Liquor ipsum dolor sit amet golden dream stolichnaya; jose cuervo ballantine, brandy manhattan! General sherman ramos gin fizz blue hawaii. Glendronach myers grog pisco sour ketel one kamikaze bananarita oban glen keith dufftown. Negroni montgomery, murphy's cuba libre rum swizzle. Vodka martini

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

I've really enjoyed reading an A+ study guide.

Well then, you're just the kind of sick SOB that should be working in IT

quote:

So now I know how a laser printer actually works

Get out while you still have a chance

Gerdalti
May 24, 2003

SPOON!


Dr. Arbitrary posted:

I've really enjoyed reading an A+ study guide. I'm new to IT but I've been a "computer guy" for a long time.

My knowledge is a bit like swiss cheese: thick and rich in most places but there are some big holes.

So now I know how a laser printer actually works, that file systems have improved since FAT32, the basics for smartphones and what a subnet mask is.

Now I've just got to pass the test.

Edit:
Oops, I messed up and meant to post this in the IT thread.
Right thread, but a page late. A+ is good for new people like me but I'd hate to try and study it if I was a few years more advanced.

Don't worry about it buddy, you'll be posting in this thread soon enough.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

Whew, man. I don't know how much we paid for "space agey image of star shining out from behind planet" but I'm already getting bored of being asked to update everything to use it as a background image. On the email signatures, invoice templates, digital signage, newsletter subscription, intranet, meanwhile they're putting it on the website, business cards, letterheads, catalogues, internal memos...

If it can get the space agey blue background, it gets the space agey blue background. I'm expecting to a see custom printed wallpaper of it next.

Lum posted:

"You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real boss."

YES I AM!!!!

*dumf, dumf, credits*

Science
Jun 28, 2006
. . .

I just met a 23 year old with a PMP. I don't think I would ever trust a PM under the age of 40. Does that make me old-fashioned?

PerrineClostermann
Dec 15, 2012

Protect our Friends!

Anti-Poaching Task Force
Japari Park Service


Science posted:

I just met a 23 year old with a PMP. I don't think I would ever trust a PM under the age of 40. Does that make me old-fashioned?

A PMP? Doesn't everyone have one of those nowadays? Whether it's an ipod or a phone or a generic MP3 player....

Antioch
Apr 18, 2003


Grimey Drawer

Science posted:

I just met a 23 year old with a PMP. I don't think I would ever trust a PM under the age of 40. Does that make me old-fashioned?

My favorite PM in the company is 28, just got her PMP, and is heading to Mexico next week to do a fashion shoot for a couple fitness magazines.

She's ruined all other PMs for me. Not that that's a difficult task, the rest of them here are alternately assholes, clueless, or clueless assholes.

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Sickening
Jul 15, 2007

Black Summer was the best summer.

Antioch posted:

My favorite PM in the company is 28, just got her PMP, and is heading to Mexico next week to do a fashion shoot for a couple fitness magazines.

She's ruined all other PMs for me. Not that that's a difficult task, the rest of them here are alternately assholes, clueless, or clueless assholes.

PPM's are going the way of the CISSP professional.

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