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MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

When life gives you lemons DANCE DANCE DANCE!

Paid in part by CF


Science posted:

I just met a 23 year old with a PMP. I don't think I would ever trust a PM under the age of 40. Does that make me old-fashioned?
Especially since there's no legitimate way to meet the qualifications of PMP before, oh let's say, 30.

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Khisanth Magus
Mar 30, 2011

Vae Victus

I recall a PM we had for a short time at my previous job where he waited until the project leader was on vacation then tried to force us to give him time estimates on all the work that was upcoming for the project behind the project lead's back. He totally wasn't going to hold us to those estimates of course, they were just for informational purposes*. The project lead was quite pissed when she got back, and the PM was not a PM on that project for much longer.

Of course, we had 5 different PMs over the course of 3 years, and 5 different project leads. That project was a trainwreck due to management issues for a while.


*Of course we knew this was bullshit, any number we gave him was going to be locked in stone and if we lowballed it we would get in trouble for it, and so we refused to tell him anything until she got back from vacation.

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert


Sickening posted:

PPM's are going the way of the CISSP professional.

Happens every year when something like this comes out.

http://www.globalknowledge.com/trai...y=United+States

People see dollar signs, chase a cert, get the cert and hope to cash in. Like you said, a couple years ago it was the CISSP, then the VCP, now the PMP.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

skipdogg posted:

Happens every year when something like this comes out.

http://www.globalknowledge.com/trai...y=United+States

People see dollar signs, chase a cert, get the cert and hope to cash in. Like you said, a couple years ago it was the CISSP, then the VCP, now the PMP.

Ive been out of big corporate for a while, is Six Sigma still a thing or has that been relegated to the bin as well?

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert


blackswordca posted:

Ive been out of big corporate for a while, is Six Sigma still a thing or has that been relegated to the bin as well?

My current understanding is Six Sigma has value to Six Sigma organizations, but not really anywhere else. The concepts can transfer over though...

PurpleButterfly
Nov 5, 2012


It's still a thing. I have friends who work at a different corporate office than I do, and they have mentioned Six Sigma as part of their jobs. Also, at least one of my work contacts (Edit: someone who works at a company that is a vendor to my company) has the "Six Sigma Green Belt" title in their email signature.

Lord Dudeguy
Sep 17, 2006
[Insert good English here]

skipdogg posted:

Happens every year when something like this comes out.

http://www.globalknowledge.com/trai...y=United+States

People see dollar signs, chase a cert, get the cert and hope to cash in. Like you said, a couple years ago it was the CISSP, then the VCP, now the PMP.

That poo poo has got to be in California-bucks. I'm in Southeast New England and you're lucky to see a VCP get $70,000 around here.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

Wow, suddenly this place has got acronyms coming out of its aaS


Oh yeah, the main font for new corporate branding: Arial 11. I'm drooling with excitement.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Lord Dudeguy posted:

That poo poo has got to be in California-bucks. I'm in Southeast New England and you're lucky to see a VCP get $70,000 around here.

$80k for an MCP? $85k for MCITP?
Where do i sign up?

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert


I'm sure it's heavily influenced by high cost of living areas and and Gov contractors needing clearance but I don't think it's that far off. 70K for a VCP with an experienced resume is a loving joke though. Here in Texas a guy with 7+ years and a VCP should be pulling in 85 to 90 base salary. The MCSE pay rate is a joke, I don't know any strict Windows guy pulling in that kind of coin.

Superdawg
Jan 28, 2009


Lord Dudeguy posted:

That poo poo has got to be in California-bucks. I'm in Southeast New England and you're lucky to see a VCP get $70,000 around here.

I hope you're not considering RI as part of that 'Southeast New England'. Their rates are considerably lower compared to Boston.

My contribution (we use google apps for email):

"It seems as though once again all the items in my deleted folder are
disappearing. I only have deleted emails back to June 20th. Please
restore the deleted items and change the setting that deletes my email.

thanks."

As you see, it is stated "once again". Since we had this same conversation 6 months earlier. You see, this users uses the "DELETE" button as their "archive" button, because they prefer the 1-click operation in Outlook to get it out of their inbox. His argument is "Everyone I know does this, and I've been doing it for two decades".

ugh.

JohnnyCanuck
May 28, 2004

Strong And/Or Free


: "So now I'm ITIL??"
: "...Yes. Now you're ITIL."

tomapot
Apr 7, 2005
Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

Global Knowledge is a training / cert company so I wouldn't exactly trust their salary figures. FWIW I just passed the ITIL foundation certification. I only took it because it was free at the end of my training and I took the course just so I can speak the language I hear thrown around.

DragonReach Ghost
Sep 16, 2002

My Avatar is a Red Avatar

skipdogg posted:

I'm sure it's heavily influenced by high cost of living areas and and Gov contractors needing clearance but I don't think it's that far off. 70K for a VCP with an experienced resume is a loving joke though. Here in Texas a guy with 7+ years and a VCP should be pulling in 85 to 90 base salary. The MCSE pay rate is a joke, I don't know any strict Windows guy pulling in that kind of coin.

Now you do, I actually know a lot of Windows guys pulling in that or better.

We cheated though, we work for MS.

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert


DragonReach posted:

Now you do, I actually know a lot of Windows guys pulling in that or better.

We cheated though, we work for MS.

Doing what? I've worked with a few PFE's the last few years and once my kids are older I think I would definitely enjoy something like that. Going from company to company working on a specific project and then moving on to the next one. Seems like it would keep you interested, something new every week or two.

DragonReach Ghost
Sep 16, 2002

My Avatar is a Red Avatar

skipdogg posted:

Doing what? I've worked with a few PFE's the last few years and once my kids are older I think I would definitely enjoy something like that. Going from company to company working on a specific project and then moving on to the next one. Seems like it would keep you interested, something new every week or two.

PFE -- been one for about 7 years. I did phone support before that. PFE is definitely better.

PFE = Premier Field Engineer, most of my engagements are for 4 days or less. Some are dedicated and work with 1-4 customers exclusively, and some are a combo between the transactional piece I do and a dedicated customer or two for about half of their time.

skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert


How's the compensation work? Are you just a flat salary, or do you need to bill your 40 hours against clients each week? I've worked directly with 2 PFE's in the last few years, one guy for SCCM was onsite at least 8 hours a day and really wanted to make sure we got all the time we were paying for, the other guy working on our AD Upgrade project was less interested in time and more making sure we got what we needed from him. I was fine with it, but he was maybe engaged with us 6 hours a day with a 90 minute lunch. If he was booking his hours against us that might have been a rough weekly paycheck for maybe 20 hours of actual time. If I'm prying, just say so, just curious.

skipdogg fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 19:18

xarph
Jun 18, 2001

The rules of the game are impenetrable and the result is always contested.

College Slice

Lum posted:

Fortunately the company does not implement SPF records, so I've gotten her to set up Thunderbird with her ISP's mail server and send the message out that way, so it's all sorted and no-one noticed.

Even if they did implement SPF, most companies have their spam filter set to ignore it because no one on the internet can get their SPF right. It just takes one C-level not getting an automated webex mail or something to make a sufficient amount of poo poo to disable it.

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



GargleBlaster posted:

Whew, man. I don't know how much we paid for "space agey image of star shining out from behind planet" but I'm already getting bored of being asked to update everything to use it as a background image. On the email signatures, invoice templates, digital signage, newsletter subscription, intranet, meanwhile they're putting it on the website, business cards, letterheads, catalogues, internal memos...

Be ironic if they did pay for it, since there's loads of awesome NASA ones you can use for free, e.g. I have LH95 on a dress.

Pissing me off right now. Having new legislation land on all my customers on the first day of my 5 day weekend holiday. Of course they all need me to implement the changes urgently so I walked into a shitstorm yesterday.

tomapot
Apr 7, 2005
Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

DragonReach posted:

PFE -- been one for about 7 years. I did phone support before that. PFE is definitely better.

PFE = Premier Field Engineer, most of my engagements are for 4 days or less. Some are dedicated and work with 1-4 customers exclusively, and some are a combo between the transactional piece I do and a dedicated customer or two for about half of their time.

We love our SharePoint PFE, been working with us since SP2010 beta and knows all the little nuances of our environment. We buy a couple hundreds hours of his time every year along with our reactive support hours.

Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful



Grimey Drawer

The only 2 certificates worth getting are BSc and SSc

Fil5000
Jun 23, 2003

HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS


Migishu posted:

The only 2 certificates worth getting are BSc and SSc

And the astronavigation exam.

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



Migishu posted:

The only 2 certificates worth getting are BSc and SSc
                             /
                            /

Migishu
Oct 22, 2005

I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful



Grimey Drawer

Fil5000 posted:

And the astronavigation exam.

Trying my best. I covered myself with gibberish the textbook knowledge just in case. Wish me luck

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams


I've got a friend at Microsoft that's trying to get me a job there, doing I guess what would be PFE. I think that kind of jumping around is the type of work that interests me the most. Coming back to the same client over and over again would be pretty great as well, because I'm a trap for esoteric configuration information.

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it.


FISHMANPET posted:

I've got a friend at Microsoft that's trying to get me a job there, doing I guess what would be PFE. I think that kind of jumping around is the type of work that interests me the most. Coming back to the same client over and over again would be pretty great as well, because I'm a trap for esoteric configuration information.

MS goons not already in the loop, pm me with your alias. We've got a group, we do lunch occasionally (and less occasionally succeed at it).

anthonypants
May 6, 2007



Dinosaur Gum

quote:

OUTAGE NOTIFICATION REMINDER: Wednesday 8/14/13 Noon – 5:00pm

With the IBM onsite service technician’s assistance, Systems Administration needs to replace system boards on our five IBM x3630M4 servers.
The servers are:

NETMO8
xxxDNS1
xxxDNS2
DC1yyy
DC0zzz
This outage totally isn't why some users suddenly lost the ability to authenticate or translate domain names, it must be something else.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

I now have too many push notification enabled devices. Someone sends me a tweet or whatever and it's a chorus of
"bing!"
"blabadoop!"
"bzzzzzz"
Really I should stop being lazy and sort it all out. Maybe just have push on the phone.

(I hope this isn't stretching the thread definition too much, I got used to "poo poo that pisses you off daily" being extremely flexible)

Lum posted:

Be ironic if they did pay for it, since there's loads of awesome NASA ones you can use for free, e.g. I have LH95 on a dress.

Pissing me off right now. Having new legislation land on all my customers on the first day of my 5 day weekend holiday. Of course they all need me to implement the changes urgently so I walked into a shitstorm yesterday.

Knowing them, they probably paid 3 or 4 figures for it.
Wow, that's one epic dress! And a nice SL CDJ setup come to that.

Shitstorms are fuuuuun

Ursine Asylum
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


GargleBlaster posted:

I now have too many push notification enabled devices. Someone sends me a tweet or whatever and it's a chorus of
"bing!"
"blabadoop!"
"bzzzzzz"
Really I should stop being lazy and sort it all out. Maybe just have push on the phone.

(I hope this isn't stretching the thread definition too much, I got used to "poo poo that pisses you off daily" being extremely flexible)

That's what they get for thread-merging

I have sort-of the same deal, except it's on the same device-- I have an app that overrides the default texting functionality but for some reason both it and the regular texting app it overrides feel the need to alert me to texts, with a 2 minute gap between them. It's quite odd.

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams


Just convert everything to WUPHF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wfG8ngFvPk

Sickening
Jul 15, 2007

Black Summer was the best summer.

Whats that? Microsoft MDT 2012 will incorrectly deploy your image if it has the latest windows updates installed? Whats that? Its all because the default unattend.xml file is somehow incompatible with IE updates?

How the gently caress does this poo poo even happen? How could I have worked with MDT this long and not know this. How many admins out there are trying out MDT are thinking they are stupid because their new image takes a giant poo poo during deployment?

gently caress you Microsoft.

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it.


Ursine Asylum posted:

That's what they get for thread-merging

New thread title: "A poo poo ticket came in and it pissed me off II: SharePoint and Cirrhosis"

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

WUPHF. My next Pi project....

Ursine Asylum posted:

I have sort-of the same deal, except it's on the same device-- I have an app that overrides the default texting functionality but for some reason both it and the regular texting app it overrides feel the need to alert me to texts, with a 2 minute gap between them. It's quite odd.

Sounds like classic Android if I ever heard it. Nice to actually have alternative texting apps though.

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Update: This new computer quote to a customer that needed a replacement nic thing has kind of blown up. Ive had three people get me to retell what I did for troubleshooting the client and what the conversation with my manager went like.

Luckily the manager and I had our disagreement over what to do in a text chat so there isn't any ambiguity there, but I am expecting people to try and shoot holes in my troubleshooting.

Weee.

Ursine Asylum
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


GargleBlaster posted:

Sounds like classic Android if I ever heard it. Nice to actually have alternative texting apps though.

Apple, fantastically enough.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

Ursine Asylum posted:

Apple, fantastically enough.

Apple? Allowing alternative text apps?
Shirley jailbroken. Unless they're coming to their senses! (5" iPhone plzthx)

Sickening
Jul 15, 2007

Black Summer was the best summer.

blackswordca posted:

Update: This new computer quote to a customer that needed a replacement nic thing has kind of blown up. Ive had three people get me to retell what I did for troubleshooting the client and what the conversation with my manager went like.

Luckily the manager and I had our disagreement over what to do in a text chat so there isn't any ambiguity there, but I am expecting people to try and shoot holes in my troubleshooting.

Weee.

Anybody that looks at your chatlogs and thinks you are partly to blame doesn't give a poo poo about reality. Remember that and act accordingly.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp


Got a ticket for a new hire today, start date 8/07.

I email the manager "hey I see you might have a new person coming in but I think they messed up the start date on this ticket"

"No she's good, she actually has been here since 8/07"

"Oh ok. Sorry, I guess helpdesk was slow sending me this. Where do i need to setup a pc? You should have called me 8/06 when I didn't show up with one."

"She's good for a PC she's using sheilas old PC we fired her months ago."

"You realize when you fire someone there's a process to follow more involved than just telling that unlucky person, yes? her network and VPN would still be active, I'm also supposed to take the PC and take her name off the inventory so you don't keep getting charged for it."

"Oh."

I've heard from hr people that on their side of things, managers failing to notify anyone also results in salary people still getting paid and hourly people if theyre crafty will still login to the (internet facing) time clock put in hours and get paid.

We have a single email box called "terminations" that a 10 second email to takes care of all hr, facilities and it concerns.

Now I get to tell this new person why I'm going to cause her an hour or more of downtime to replace the (to her) perfectly good PC with another same-model one.

Vin BioEthanol fucked around with this message at Aug 14, 2013 around 23:09

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Sickening posted:

Anybody that looks at your chatlogs and thinks you are partly to blame doesn't give a poo poo about reality. Remember that and act accordingly.

Oh I know.. I am fully expecting this to go south on me very quickly. I'm looking into options right now.

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IamJacksAlcoholism
Apr 29, 2013

Liquor ipsum dolor sit amet golden dream stolichnaya; jose cuervo ballantine, brandy manhattan! General sherman ramos gin fizz blue hawaii. Glendronach myers grog pisco sour ketel one kamikaze bananarita oban glen keith dufftown. Negroni montgomery, murphy's cuba libre rum swizzle. Vodka martini

Sickening posted:

How the gently caress does this poo poo even happen?

gently caress you Microsoft.

How? Because this is the Microsoft Org Chart:

(source: clipped from Bonkers World: http://www.bonkersworld.net/organizational-charts/)

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