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psydude posted:We should compile a "Greatest Hits" for the OP. Missing the epic saga of the website printed out, scanned, inserted in to a powerpoint, printed again, faxed, scanned on the other end, emailed, and turned in to a QR code.
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Aug 13, 2013 18:44
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This ticket scored only middling on the "Mangled english meter" as far as our usual track record goes, but it was a favorite of ones I happened to glance at on the helpdesk today: "I had my window password change like all the others windows" Category submitted under: Nothing at all to do with passwords. One of our folks just responded with "OK thank you!"
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Oct 23, 2013 21:44
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... poo poo, I'm one of them, a user. I think I hosed up and skipped one of the fields on the form  Should I just fill it out a second time? (I think I forgot to fill out the entire address).
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Oct 23, 2013 22:50
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skooma512 posted:A ticket came in. Yesterday a trainer came running down the systems hallway and interrupted a meeting I was having with my boss an a couple co-workers to say that there was a WASP in the training room!!!! We just sorta looked at each other and exchanged a few WTFs before asking how that was an IT problem and did they mean to go get the building/maintenance people?
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Nov 6, 2014 16:01
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Dick Boat posted:Why the gently caress would you store files in your Recycle Bin? That's like putting a sandwich in your trash, then coming in the next day and flipping out when someone threw it away. I have had multiple users say with a completely straight face to "OMG DON'T EMPTY MY DELETED ITEMS FOLDER IN OUTLOOK I KEEP THINGS I STILL NEED IN THERE." What the flying gently caress.
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Nov 7, 2014 17:04
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Zero VGS posted:Whee, CEO had me buy 4K HDTVs for the sales team. He wants to know if I can figure out how to have them toggle between 4K video loops of sports or whatever, and gamifcation-style performance metrics that we pull from live sales data. Like we might have a smaller group of 30 sales reps and it would generate a live leaderboard from an Excel sheet or something. WHAT DOES THAT TEXT SAY I CANT READ IT!!! (Then you take it for yourself, replace it with a 1080 screen, and get thanked for it  )
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Feb 20, 2015 01:53
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Hungry Computer posted:That use of please advise is perfectly acceptable, it's the other common use that can get annoying. This ticket we had last week from someone high up is a fine example: This is how I see it all the time and for some reason it's one of the most infuriating things to me I see in tickets.
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Feb 23, 2015 16:20
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Are they network printers? SNMP that poo poo! (But seriously gently caress printers sideways always and forever)
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Feb 25, 2015 18:36
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GreenNight posted:Yes, but luckily I have absolutely nothing to do with it. We are getting a new AS400 this year though which is nice. New ones are pretty nice hardware wise! Meanwhile, a ticket came in: "Hi, we'd like to get a report of all cases with closure dates in the future."  I was tempted to reply back with either just "lol?" or a list of every currently open case (Only 67,672 of them!!!), because after all, they're going to be closed at some point!
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Apr 2, 2015 18:27
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License fees are loving heinous, but that's just "Welp, 'enterprise software'" and that's that. The biggest issue I've run in to with 400 stuff is that a lot of the people that make tools for it are solo one guy shops that don't want to put up with the hassle that is going through what we need to buy stuff from them as a government entity.
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Apr 2, 2015 18:42
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Knormal posted:Maybe they meant that in the future, they'd like a report of all cases with closure dates? Just send them a list of all the closed cases in a few days. Yea, I was joking because as soon as they put it in I knew it was a bad code check (Tonssss of stuff we have is to check for lovely vendor code). The current date auto-populated in the closure date field when you go to close something.. but the user can actually change it.
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Apr 2, 2015 21:06
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AlexDeGruven posted:I was in my mid 20s when I started AIXing, next youngest person on the team was 52. That's the feeling of being secure in the knowledge that the hardware will outlive the operators!
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Apr 4, 2015 04:07
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OwlFancier posted:Wait sorry you work in a news place and the people there don't know how to use a camera? Pretty sure you'd be able to figure it out, it's not like the switches aren't labeled with FOCUS: Man /Auto. bitterandtwisted posted:I tried to install some software on a user's computer and got an error message telling me to check the OS version. Looked in system properties and right enough it was Win7 32 bit. With 8GB ram installed. We're going in to a new round of workstation replacement, about 700 machines going from HP/Compaq dc8000s with core2duo E8400s/4gig ram to newer HP boxes with i5-4590s and 8 gigs of ram. ...Our desktop image is still win7 32 bit 
Gwaihir fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Apr 17, 2015 |
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Apr 17, 2015 16:29
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larchesdanrew posted:Thought about it. The nearest scrap yard is an hour away and there wasn't enough to be worth it. I donated it to my wife's auto shop for their scrap pile they buy pizza with every month in exchange for some of the pizza when they get it This is the best solution!
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Apr 17, 2015 16:48
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J posted:drat I can't even decide what I like best about those pictures. Everything. Every single thing about them. I mean, it doesn't have "Workstation_rack_tetris.jpg," but it's even better for sheer quantity and quality of old poo poo.
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Apr 17, 2015 18:12
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Dick Trauma posted:Clear it all out and build a private laser tag kill house. Uh, I think you mean "Use it all to build bitchin cover and obstacles for your laser tag arena"
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Apr 17, 2015 19:14
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go3 posted:seriously want to know how many ipv4 addresses have a printer on the other end Too many. Always too many. (gently caress printers)
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Apr 24, 2015 15:55
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We use and abuse the gently caress out of a vast fleet of Lexmark T654s at the moment. (I do mean abuse on the order of about 1 million pages per year). Not as many of them melt or catch on fire as I would expect given just how much we exceed their rated duty cycles. We used to have 630s and 632s and 644s but that was like.. 3 generations ago in terms of how fast we murder printers.
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May 6, 2015 16:20
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Yea, Lexmark actually has (Or had at one point) a release of their SNMP MIB information so pulling info from the printers using that isn't a huge pain, unlike some other vendors.
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May 6, 2015 16:41
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BaseballPCHiker posted:Anyone have any experience with setting up multiple displays off of one computer? Had a request to get a quote for a computer that can run 8-10 displays by itself. The only thing I can think of/find to run this is something like this: So long as the machine has enough PCI-e slots on the motherboard, there's a few AMD cards with 6 displayport outputs (Usually called Eyefinity editions). For single slot/low performance needs there's a Quadro NVS 510 which features 4 mini-DP outputs: http://www.nvidia.com/object/nvs-510-graphics-card.html. Importantly, they can run multiple 4k displays. Almost anything should be able to run two of those Quadro cards no problem. They don't need external PCIe power connections. Even if the only slot is a x4 or x8 slot, so long as you're not actually doing any 3d stuff, it should be OK.
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May 11, 2015 19:17
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BaseballPCHiker posted:So a videocard doesnt have to support crossfire or SLI to have two connected to one motherboard? The setup is for a professional day trader so high resolution isnt really necessary. Nope, I have many piece of poo poo HP/Compaq DC8300 desktops that have dual 2d quadro NVS 300s in them. No SLI needed at all, you just pop the card in and plug stuff up. The only caveat is that dragging windows around from the monitors on one card to monitors on the second card will be laggy. Same card monitor dragging windows around is fine, it's just when you're going over the PCIe bus to the other card that you'll see a slowdown. This doesn't matter if it's just always going to be displaying the same stuff though. I would definitely stay away from USB video anything. (Why does the quadro NVS300 even loving exist? I have no idea. But that's a separate matter).
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May 11, 2015 20:01
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Danith posted:The IBM HMC that our iSeries and AIX machine is set up on froze up over the weekend. The iSeries guy rebooted the HMC but it comes up to a blank background and doesn't accept any key combo that he could find to get a console up.. any ideas? I think I have the manual buried in the previous admins stuff he left behind but really have no experience with HMC and how it is set up. The one thing I found on google is that there could be issues if we have to reinstall it and don't know how the LPARS are set up. You totally had a backup of your HMC, right? Riiight? Could you connect to the HMC's web interface even though the console itself didn't come up? Try https://your.hmc.ip.here/hmc/connect , that should bring up the same console you'd see from the machine directly. The issues with unsaved configs is that the HMC configures things like how much RAM or how many CPU cores each partition has, as well as stuff like virtual Ethernet cards or vSwitches that might connect different partitions on the same physical machine. So if you didn't remember any of that stuff you'd have to set it up from scratch. The HMC itself going down won't mess with your iseries, the only problem will be if you had to shut a partition or the entire machine down (Or someone ran a pwrdwnsys command without the automatic reboot flag set to Y ) you'd have no way to power it back up later.e: If the HMC has a DVD-RAM drive (It probably does), it might be worth checking if it's got a backup disc (Or hell the OS disc) sitting in there- Based on my knowledge of crusty old idiot IBM power admins, they frequently just have the HMC run backups to the same disk over and over and never even take it out of the drive
Gwaihir fucked around with this message at 15:37 on May 20, 2015 |
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May 20, 2015 15:35
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:I recently got my first "Please advise" ticket. Please advise is by far my least favorite thing to see in emails or tickets. I don't even really know why, it's just really loving obnoxious and poo poo the gently caress don't use that god damned phrase jesus christ.
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May 20, 2015 17:13
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Danith posted:Thanks for all the help. Now that I'm here the console seems to be up and "working" so not sure what the iseries guy was talking about. Seems the only problem is ETH0 isn't initializing (has up assigned and config looks fine but isn't showing up when I list the network interface status), and it won't bring up a console session to the iseries for some reason, you click the open shared 5250 session and nothing happens Well that shouldn't be too hard an issue to deal with- Unless your HMC is like 5+ years old, it probably has quad ethernet ports, and even if it does only have two ports, you can always pop in a standalone ethernet card- it's just a normal X86 machine. Eth0 is probably the assigned connection to your system's service processors. (It is on mine at least- Eth0 is connected to a switch in the iseries rack, has a static 192.168.x IP address, and the only other thing plugged in to those switches are the system service processors. This is the connection it's going to try and open a 5250 console with. Eth1 is the management connection to my main server network.)
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May 20, 2015 18:51
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RFC2324 posted:For me 'Please advise' is a more professional way of saying 'something hosed up in this process, and I can't see what, now what the gently caress do I do?' It never comes off professionally to me though, it always has the other implication of WHY DOESNT THIS WORK YOU SHOULD FIX IT PEON. I probably see it most often in the simplest tickets, which is why I have such immediate feelings of rage for it. Stuff like "Hi, the AS400 shows MYUSERACCOUNT CANNOT SIGN ON when I try and sign on. Please advise." As if it just happened, out of the blue, through no action of their own, rather than loving up their password enough times to lock the account.
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May 20, 2015 19:54
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Yea, the hmc itself has a management port, we just never bothered to actually plug that one in to anything it looks like
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May 20, 2015 20:18
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anthonypants posted:Hyper-V, probably That's zero excuse rofl
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May 20, 2015 21:55
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:If you run hyper v all you do is install the OS and add the hyper v role, if you wanted more than that it'd be an esxi host. I mean, yea, its obviously possible to get it on a hyper-v host since it's still just windows but this: m.hache posted:I'm trying to imagine what sort of hosed up infrastructure would be running there that anyone is opening emails/random files on a Hyper-V Host. If the hosts actually have network shares or people dumb enough to open poo poo even have permissions to log in to them then you done hosed up son.
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May 20, 2015 23:36
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Asmodai_00 posted:We technically don't even have to back up the desktop. Policy is network storage or not our problem. I just like the simple disk2vhd tool for stuff like this, easy to grab a single file image of their drive, and you can just natively mount them in windows to get at whatever you need.
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Jun 8, 2015 19:47
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ConfusedUs posted:I'm sure we colud come up with a 10 commandments of IT work. I can think of six off the top of my head. Raid is not backup gently caress printers (And their brethren, faxes) (Not commandment form but no IT GIVENS is complete without them.)
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Jun 9, 2015 22:18
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TWBalls posted:Thou shalt not page out a high severity ticket with vague information then promptly disappear/ignore all attempts to contact you. Putting in a ticket and immediately vanishing and becoming totally unreachable is like User-101. SORRY BOSS CANT WORK COMPUTERS BORKED AND THOSE DAMNED IT GUYS JUST HAVENT FIXED IT YET!!!!
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Jun 9, 2015 22:42
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ilkhan posted:This person generated 57 tickets in 3 months. That's amazingly impressive. I think the "best" comparable ticket stat I had for a user was for passwords, when you divided number of password reset tickets just by the number of months we had helpdesk records for, it came out to over 3 password fuckups per month. For five years.
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Jun 12, 2015 01:04
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larchesdanrew posted:It was a zip file that contained an html file that opened a page with a fake virus infection screen and prompted you to "click here" to clean the infection, the executable that downloaded from that was crypto. That's almost beautiful in it's own hosed up way. In the perennial "Web page printed out scanned and saved as a jpg inside a word document and emailed" kind of way.
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Jun 16, 2015 16:23
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larchesdanrew posted:2) I never should have demonstrated my malware detecting abilities to the GM. Now he's just forwarding me everything in his spam folder that has an attachment with the subject "Is this a virus?" I've gotten 43 emails this morning alone. It's always a virus. (Or goatse).
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Jun 16, 2015 18:30
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larchesdanrew posted:A request came in from my supervisor. Order up a 40 foot construction dumpster. Actually you might need two. Or three.
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Jun 25, 2015 17:17
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A ticket didn't come in... because a backhoe working on some plumbing cut the fiber from my main office to the other buildings in our office complex 
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Jun 25, 2015 18:31
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Zemyla posted:I should invent a machine that flips faxes right-side-up. It sounds like there's a market. Doctor's offices would be ALL OVER that poo poo.
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Jul 1, 2015 17:30
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Collateral Damage posted:And I thought we had it bad with 10 printers (7 personal, 3 MFPs) for an office of 60. That's cute, I have about 20 Lexmark T654s installed last year that just broke the million pages picked mark. (And a shitload more general use ones that are only in the low 200-300 thousands.) Is there an emoticon for tree genocide? Because there should be. 
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Jul 14, 2015 17:21
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HP is fine, I've just found them to be generally overpriced compared to Lenovo or Dell. Quality is going to be roughly comparable between all of them.
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Jul 14, 2015 18:48
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Bigass Moth posted:Eat less? Printer shotput exercise regimen.
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Jul 24, 2015 23:00
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