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cadfael
Nov 7, 2010

He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,

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Maradonna Summer
Oct 22, 2005

Our love will last forever

TRP Post Of The Tournament Winner World Cup 2014
mods make the loser of the jozy contest buy and do this:

http://www.worldsoccershop.com/52576.html

fat greasy puto
Dec 30, 2001

Anime Lover David Beckham

trem_two posted:



Shame that advanced stats still can't capture all 5 tools properly.

this is great, is it copyrighted? id like to bring it to this months meeting

Ponce de Le0n
Jul 6, 2008

Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car

Maradonna Summer posted:

mods make the loser of the jozy contest buy and do this:

http://www.worldsoccershop.com/52576.html

quote:

Benefits of Jozy's Go Pro Workout: Train Smarter for Less: Same exact training program used by Jozy Altidore for the price of one personal training session.
Everything You Need: Jozy's 8-week program covers everything you need to train smarter for soccer, including strength workouts, endurance workouts, agility workouts, speed workouts, and more. Learn From the Best: Jozy will be by your side every step of the way with video and text instruction of every exercise (certain exercises also have instructional graphics).
Improve: Chart and track your entire training session (reps, weight, time, etc.) with our built-in progress tracker. Get Access Anytime, Anywhere: Your entire program is digital and can be easily accessed on your smartphone or computer anytime, anywhere.
Stay Motivated: You can even share and compete with friends.
Equipment Needed All strength exercises can be performed using standard gym equipment: -Agility ladder -Cones -Soccer ball -Running / gym sneakers -Soccer cleats Get ready to train
Orders shipping outside the U.S. are subject to customs fees.
WorldSoccerShop.com stands behind everything we sell

He'll be sitting down wont he

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.

trem_two posted:



Shame that advanced stats still can't capture all 5 tools properly.

if you squint it actually looks like a bloody turd. i think stats might be good after all

Lowtechs
Jan 12, 2001
Grimey Drawer

Maradonna Summer posted:

mods make the loser of the jozy contest buy and do this:

http://www.worldsoccershop.com/52576.html

Reduced from $100 to $20! :classiclol:

joshtothemaxx
Nov 17, 2008

I will have a whole army of zombies! A zombie Marine Corps, a zombie Navy Corps, zombie Space Cadets...
I honestly, genuinely, seriously hope Jozy goes to the Netherlands or the MLS, gets in shape, and turns back into a decent enough striker.

But the ESPN hype train will keep on rolling telling us he's world class no matter what. Farts.

Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW

joshtothemaxx posted:

I honestly, genuinely, seriously hope Jozy goes to the Netherlands or the MLS, gets in shape, and turns back into a decent enough striker.

But the ESPN hype train will keep on rolling telling us he's world class no matter what. Farts.

He's world-class in the same way an aircraft carrier is Nimitz-class.

vulturesrow
Sep 25, 2011

Always gotta pay it forward.

Earthy Ape Unit posted:

He's world-class in the same way an aircraft carrier is Nimitz-class.

:golfclap:

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
Big Jozy is a Yamato-class player. Enormous, useless, and inexplicably beloved by his country of origin.

The Mash
Feb 17, 2007

You have to say I can open my presents
People keep posting videos or other PR materials about Jozy training and in none of them there is any indication he has anything at all to do with a football

Parity warning
Nov 1, 2009



3rd Place, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

joshtothemaxx posted:

I honestly, genuinely, seriously hope Jozy goes to the Netherlands or the MLS, gets in shape, and turns back into a decent enough striker.

Frankston
Jul 27, 2010


Here's a good video of Jozy showing us his GoPro workoutsitting on his fat arse for 90% of the time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAGUhTtRy8

Ponce de Le0n
Jul 6, 2008

Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car

Ponce de Le0n posted:

He'll be sitting down wont he


Frankston posted:

Here's a good video of Jozy showing us his GoPro workoutsitting on his fat arse for 90% of the time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAGUhTtRy8


lol i knew it!!

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Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002

by VideoGames
Today is officially Jozy Altidore Day. Today this thread is closed.

Thankyou everyone for taking part it's been a wonderful adventure. Maybe we'll have another next season? Who knows.

Jozy is dogshit.

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