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Jozy Altidore is twice the man he was at Hull City, and will score Two goals in the 2013/14 PL.
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Aug 17, 2013 14:40
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I'm wondering if I should be concerned with my prediction of Two Goals, tbh
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Aug 17, 2013 18:39
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Someone voted 2 after the deadline, does this mean they might win, instead of me, if Jozy manages to beat the odds and triple his career Premier League scoring total?
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Aug 18, 2013 22:47
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Why did I say two goals. I'm an idiot tbh
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Aug 24, 2013 16:47
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Healbot posted:I think it might be a tad too early to call Jozy a failure two match days in. I pray both of these are true, otherwise he will never score the two goals that I predicted.
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Aug 24, 2013 17:16
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Timbers Jim posted:Much like the posters of E/N, Jozy has no goals lol
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Aug 24, 2013 21:20
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The Natural posted:Christ. I dread to think of the amount of pompous yanks creaming over Jozy after that turnaround I welcome people believing in him again after a strong performance against english stalwarts MK Dons.
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Aug 27, 2013 21:42
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cadfael posted:
That was a screamer.
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Aug 27, 2013 23:13
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Pissflaps posted:Whatever happened to Freddy Adu? He might have faked his age or something, also Philadelphia signed him and he was trash.
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Aug 28, 2013 15:05
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Real Name Grover posted:Jozy's not in the 18. This is the worst day of my life
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Aug 31, 2013 16:55
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Looks like it'll be even more unlikely that he scores two (2) goals for me in the 2013 Barclay's.
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Aug 31, 2013 17:02
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He's soft too. Big and soft.
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Aug 31, 2013 17:10
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I find it hard to believe the US can beat a world power like Costa Rica without big soft teddy bear Jozy Altidore in the starting eleven.
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Aug 31, 2013 17:41
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serious gaylord posted:I get that they specify the mens and womens teams when talking about them generally, but why would you have to specify the mens team after specifically mentioning a male player? He's a girl.
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Aug 31, 2013 17:46
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That's technically off-topic, but I appreciate the reminder of how unrelentingly poo poo Jozy Altidore is in competitive matches outside the Netherlands. I look forward to seeing him not play at home versus Mexico.
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Sep 7, 2013 05:26
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Hmm, seems like this should count for one of my two goals.
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Sep 14, 2013 16:32
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I enjoyed when people were clearly avoiding passing the ball to Jozy.
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Sep 14, 2013 17:13
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Ponce de Le0n posted:He either did or he didnt, there is no place in the game for technicalities According to objective, unbiased HawkEye technology, he scored, but according to racist, privileged referees, he did not score.
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Sep 14, 2013 18:58
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I am very upset with Jozy Altidore for failing miserably to match my prediction of three goals. I can't hear his name without shaking
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Sep 21, 2013 18:17
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I liked near the end of the game, when someone managed to put in a good cross toward Jozy, who was in perfect position to score had he not fallen onto his rear end a second earlier
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Sep 29, 2013 20:52
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This cyberbullying might be negatively affecting Jozy's form, which may be an unfair advantage if any of these bullies have him scoring 0 goals in the Jozy Altislore Challenge. Very troubling, would like the OP to weigh in.
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Sep 30, 2013 19:09
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vaginal culture posted:Can someone post bigsoccers increasingly insane rationalizations for Jozy today Not counting people using it as a GDT instead of the international football thread for some reason, there have been like three pages of posts in that thread total since the Jozy Discussion Ban. Lol.
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Oct 5, 2013 19:33
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Jozy's hold-up play is consistently excellent, or something. I do not know.
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Oct 5, 2013 20:29
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pointsofdata posted:He seems to score just fine against international competition, it's not like he's only scored against CONCACAF and Dutch teams. It seems like this is exactly what happens, OP, unless you want to count international friendlies, or MK Dons.
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Oct 5, 2013 21:08
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Pissflaps posted:lol some great posts itt Possibly our best target man since Quinny ffs. Do people actually not notice how much he holds up the ball and wins in the air for us? It's nice to have a route-one not come straight back for a change.
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Oct 5, 2013 21:51
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The anti-Jozy community is in shambles.
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Oct 5, 2013 22:12
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vaginal culture posted:Eddie Johnson is much, much better than Jozy. I'm not sure about this, though I do think it's really funny how USMNT fans seem to absolutely despise Eddie and forgive every mistake Jozy makes, as if the 2010 World Cup didn't happen, or something.
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Oct 6, 2013 00:30
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Parity warning posted:Sounds like a threat to Jozy. Maybe he can score if his life depends on it? Looking at his stature, Jozy is not one to make choices that are good for his well-being.
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Oct 7, 2013 01:26
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Your Weird Uncle posted:yeah i have a few friends who refuse to watch MLS. i don't get it either, of course the MLS is a total clowncar league but its our loving clowncar league so why not go see a game? My "local team" would be DC United so
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Oct 19, 2013 01:53
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sunderland are the worst team in the PL by a decent margin and jozy still isn't good enough to start for them. Cracking a few lols here.
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Oct 19, 2013 16:38
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serious gaylord posted:Remember Freddy Adu? He's so loving old
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Oct 19, 2013 19:07
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I agree that Arsenal Football Club should be forced to use Jozy as their striker.
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Oct 21, 2013 16:47
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I think Jozy should move to turkey as a healthier option for sandwich meat. He should also stop purchasing combo meals- sodas get you every time.
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Oct 27, 2013 00:39
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Not looking forward to Jozy's stretched-out face in the second row imo
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Dec 4, 2013 23:45
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I found myself watching Dutch league football at 5am. I’d set four alarms, roll off my bed, and open my computer into Western Europe. Some nights I wouldn’t sleep, and I’d stare into the night, desperate to be sure I could enter that world. Sleep, sleep, tweet, goal, sleep. But when my eyes opened on those early mornings, the sense of achieved consciousness didn’t arrive. I felt myself half-dreaming, somewhere far away from a college dorm. I was somewhere in the elusive heart of Holland, with Jozy Altidore as my guide. It’s less strange than it sounds.
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Dec 21, 2013 22:58
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I don't even know what to quote here the entire thing is just incredibly awful http://theclassical.org/articles/why-we-watch-jozy-altidore-before-dawn
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Dec 21, 2013 23:29
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I liked the bit at the end, I'm sure Bosnian supporters are still traumatized over Jozy's performance in a goddamn friendly, and they certainly aren't thinking about something more useful, like the fact that they have a very good shot at getting past the WC group stage (unlike Jozy's team), or something.
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Dec 22, 2013 00:43
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Jozy's looking a bit slimmer these days, good to see.
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Dec 27, 2013 02:09
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i really like the weird insular culture that leads the MLS to post updates on loving Sunderland like, honestly, if it was the USSF posting that, fine, but why should the MLS loving care about Jozy Altidore?
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Dec 29, 2013 07:47
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I like that it "isn't a question of whether or not Altidore will make it now", followed by a mention that his stint in Holland was literally his only stint even remotely successful.
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Jan 17, 2014 04:50
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