Jozy's thread: He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Jozy's thread: He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,

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Jozy altidore will score 88 goals in honour of his fascist leaders sensibilities

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 14:59

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 22:31

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I've done some research with a friend and we've decided that Jozy Altidore will secure the existance of our people and a future for white children

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 15:08

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is there any chance of Jozy scoring either 69 or 420 goals? Not a big football fan so I'm not sure what is possible.

Thanks

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 15:09

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ok, thanks, one more question, is it possible for Jozy to score different numbers of goals? I think he might score 69, 88 and 420 goals all at the same time, not sure how football works, is this possible?

Thanks for the assistance for a big time new fan of soccer.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 15:17

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vaginal culture posted:

I like Watchme Failtoscore

Joocy Whatawhore is fairly problematic

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 19:22

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He got a good shot away that time when it was played into him and he turned. His touch was pretty bad though as was his ability to lay it off to his team which isn't great for a guy playing up front for a team who don't look like they'll be dominating games. I was expecting a lot more based on the US posters love for him.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2013 09:31

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I'd like to change my prediction of the number of goals Jozy will score to 1776 in honor of the greatest country on Earth

# ¿ Aug 26, 2013 10:36

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He has Benjamin Button disease, rips Freddy Adu

# ¿ Aug 28, 2013 15:06

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he's the american morrisons and he's got great offers on fresh meat

# ¿ Aug 28, 2013 16:16

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All Of The Dicks posted:

Wait, do you seriously not have bacon in the north of England?

nice strawman :rolleyes:

# ¿ Sep 8, 2013 13:53

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Timbers Jim posted:

That's right my short chum, also Breakfast is called Early Sun Meal

in america early sun meal is the name given to part of a car's exhaust. Maybe this confusing situation is causing altidore to miss the early sun meal every day leading to a lack of concentration on the football pitch?

# ¿ Sep 8, 2013 16:19

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vaginal culture posted:

Why would you guess that? Are you delusional?

*checks location*

ah, Portland, makes sense

# ¿ Sep 10, 2013 18:44

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NeoNaoNeo posted:

Today was the first day my dad has ever watched Jozy. Without prompting except from his awful display: "this lad is an absolute pudding."

can we get a trigger warning on posts like this in the future for those of us whose dad ran away

# ¿ Sep 29, 2013 17:01

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Scott Bakula posted:

Jozy couldn't even score against Newcastle lol

He feels.a lot of affinity for newcastle because he's a fat useless terd

# ¿ Oct 29, 2013 11:20

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Byolante posted:

maybe his parents were russian immigrants. So you name your son Marcus Beasly? Da, Marcus Beasly

Black people do have funny names sometimes, nice one

# ¿ Nov 9, 2013 10:04

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TheBigAristotle posted:

Yeah! Jozy could be on 200k/week in no time!

Only if United have had enough of him and decide to put him in his place once and for all

# ¿ Nov 19, 2013 18:45

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 22:31

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Dunban posted:

I think we found the av for the guy whose bet ends up the farthest away

I voted 1776 ftw

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 16:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Jozy's thread: He makes far post peels, near post crashes, runs down the gut alone,