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Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Is it too late to say zero

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Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Further to my earlier prediction and in the knowledge that this is not a recognised tiebreaker I would like to predict a Stewart Downing special; zero goals, zero assists

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

angered paedophile posted:

I'd like to change my prediction of the number of goals Jozy will score to 1776 in honor of the greatest country on Earth

I'm keeping mine at 0 in honour of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Blue Screen Error posted:

I know they won't count for this all important competition, but does anyone think Jozy might bag a couple tonight against MK Dons?

The only bagging he'll be doing is at the supermarket

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
It's funny how you guys talked the talk about Jozy being trash but didn't walk the walk with your predictions. Here in 0 goals crew we don't do things by half measures.

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
The ref didn't play advantage because he knew that Jozy having the ball is not an advantage

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Even a poo poo striker can get lucky from time to time and score by pure fluke. But the Arsenal incident shows that Jozy is not only shite, he is unlucky, and that is why he will score no goals this season

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Here lies Jozy, he never scored

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

vyelkin posted:

If Jozy signs for another Premier League team, maybe one in need of a 'striker' like Chelsea, and then scores seven goals, does my prediction still count?

If Jozy signs for another Premier League team it will be as groundskeeper

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Jozy should be sent off every time he comes on the pitch for DOGSO to an actual striker

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
It wouldn't be the first time a Liverpool-Sunderland game has been decided by an inanimate object that shouldn't have been on the pitch

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Olewithmilk posted:

3) Rory Delap

4) John Obi Mikel

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff. That's where Jozy's shots landed

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Sauska posted:

You know I'm starting to feel this way myself.

It's not something you feel, it is an incontrovertible fact

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Crunkjuice posted:

You guys sure have a lot of words to say about a soccer player you don't care about.


VVV I had some stuff written out but decided against it. It really does amuse me to see how much you guys hate him, even if it does make me sad he's bad at his job :(

Who said we don't care about him? I love Jozy because he shows how poo poo USMNT really are

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Crunkjuice posted:

Why is it so hard to believe a bad player on a decent team can score? Fernando Torres has a few golden boots to his name but he's still poo poo.

USMNT are not a decent team

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Crunkjuice posted:

BUT FIFA SAYS WE ARE HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO JUDGE MY SOCCER TEAM? We don't play in competitive matches?

USMNT should follow Australia's example and join a more competitive confederation. Of course they would never qualify for the World Cup again but that would be no great loss

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
I think Poyet could work well with Jozy, he's used to dealing with a massive pile of poo poo in the dressing room

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Pissflaps posted:

I hate anything with 'Keep Calm And' but it should really say either Keep Calm and Jozy or Keep Calm and Altidore.

It's clumsy as it is. A bit like Jozy. Fat lad, bad footballer.

Keep Getting Fat And Never Score

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Does he wear $100 hats?

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Crunkjuice posted:

He is able to score on island nations. This i can confirm.

Well he's been on an island nation for a few months now without scoring

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
The only service Jozy knows what to do with is room service

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Modus Trollens posted:

I bet he doesn't tip

He tips all the food into his mouth

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Pissflaps posted:

I'm losing patience with Jozy. Score a loving goal you loving idiot. Shithouse. oval office!!

No don't

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Scott Bakula posted:

Jozy cost £8m :newlol:

Let me check my calculator...that's "divide by zero error" per goal

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

The Mash posted:

Something divided by zero isn't infinite you shitlords

Jozy could math better than you

It's undefined but it tends to +/- infinity depending on which direction you approach from

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

oh em gee bee ess posted:

Why the hell do the Americans give so many caps to people? I mean poo poo doesn't Landon Donovan have something ridiculous like 150+ caps?

They have no depth and their friendlies are against bigger teams than their "competitive" matches so they just play the same team

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
I'm disappointed that my prediction of zero goals, zero assists has been foiled

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

That's a bit unfair on Steven Fletcher, who has already scored two more goals than Jozy this season

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

80085 posted:

Poyet says Jozy's struggles aren't his fault. I think Gus must be a USMNT supporter.

http://espnfc.com/news/story/_/id/1620806/sunderland-boss-gus-poyet-backs-usa-striker-jozy-altidore-overcome-goal-drought?cc=5901


Jozy is the best

"he can kick the ball really hard, now we just need to get him to point it at the goal"

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
This is a very amusing development

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
Are Americans incapable of referring to things by the same name as anyone else? Why is it not player of the year?

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Scott Bakula posted:

Lets all take the time to laugh at Chelsea

It might be funny now but in the long run a striker who very occasionally scores is less funny than one who never scores

shame on you, Jozy, for ruining our fun

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Hardfl1p posted:

i think we're all caught up in how good jozy looked today that we're forgetting he scored on a miserable human pile of adultering poo poo, and that makes me happy

What does Ryan Giggs have to do with this??

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

The football sniper strikes again

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

jazzyhattrick posted:

Jozy is not an ape, but just imagine how many loving tyre swings he'd break if he was.

On the plus side when he threw his poo poo at you he would always miss

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013
My favourite part is "one of Europe's top leagues (England, Italy or France)"

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

T. Finninho posted:

I think I'm going to give the person who ends up farthest away a punishment, just an av change. Can someone make a "Jozy's #1 Fan" av pls, normal rules apply but otherwise I'd like to see what a few of you funny av makers can do.

angered paedophile posted:

Jozy altidore will score 88 goals in honour of his fascist leaders sensibilities

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Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013

Loving Africa Chaps posted:

I takes three shots before the first smashed china. From about 5 yards

I like that they think Niles is an English name

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