Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«23 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

ME BOSS
YOU NOT


I use those cut resistant gloves when I use a mandolin, I cringe every time I see someone using one on a cooking competition show because 9/10 times they slice their finger and replay it constantly for drama.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



I wonder if they do it on purpose now to add drama and excitement. Like blading in wrestling except I guess with less pretense.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Chocolate tastes bad,
also fuck you <3

My Lovely Horse posted:

I wonder if they do it on purpose now to add drama and excitement. Like blading in wrestling except I guess with less pretense.

I can't decide if this makes me feel more like I'm living in ancient Rome, or in Idiocracy.

Admiral Joeslop
Jul 8, 2010

I can eat anything.

Fun Shoe

Helping Mom with Thanksgiving today since Dad has to work. Helping carve the turkey (first time ever for me) and before I could say anything, she dumped the turkey drippings down the sink

Guess we're sticking with powdered gravy..

GenericGirlName
Apr 10, 2012

I am NOT Nic Cage

Made candied yams the night before thanksgiving and eyeballed the entire recipe. Wound up spooning out butter at the end. Yikes. Thankfully everything I made the next day turned out great.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Admiral Joeslop posted:

Helping Mom with Thanksgiving today since Dad has to work. Helping carve the turkey (first time ever for me) and before I could say anything, she dumped the turkey drippings down the sink

Guess we're sticking with powdered gravy..

Horrifying.

TheHomerTax
Dec 26, 2012


Admiral Joeslop posted:

Helping Mom with Thanksgiving today since Dad has to work. Helping carve the turkey (first time ever for me) and before I could say anything, she dumped the turkey drippings down the sink

Guess we're sticking with powdered gravy..

gamingCaffeinator
Sep 6, 2010

I shall sing you the song of my people.


Admiral Joeslop posted:

Helping Mom with Thanksgiving today since Dad has to work. Helping carve the turkey (first time ever for me) and before I could say anything, she dumped the turkey drippings down the sink

Guess we're sticking with powdered gravy..

My mother-in-law dumped the turkey drippings all over herself and her kitchen floor accidentally. No powdered gravy at our dinner though. You poor bastard.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


gamingCaffeinator posted:

My mother-in-law dumped the turkey drippings all over herself and her kitchen floor accidentally. No powdered gravy at our dinner though. You poor bastard.

I hope it was cooled a bit at least

gamingCaffeinator
Sep 6, 2010

I shall sing you the song of my people.


Brawnfire posted:

I hope it was cooled a bit at least

She said it was still hot, but not in the "just out the oven, will melt skin" kind of way. It was just a mess and I felt bad for her.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



Cockup in process in my kitchen as my girlfriend is having trouble making a custard set that she wants to fill cookie cups with, 70% of which have cracked or crumbled. They will definitely leak like mad and I wish she wasn't so stubborn about seeing clearly doomed projects through. I'm having to bite my tongue about suggesting we just have custard with cookie crumble topping.

They're supposed to turn into creme brulee cups too so this isn't even over by a long shot.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


I could see possibly making the cookie crumbs into a cookie pie crust and remaking cups that way.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



Ooh, that's a much better idea!

Update: they surprisingly haven't leaked all over the place, but she was only able to fill them halfway. We don't have a blowtorch and were gonna finish the brulee crust under the broiler tomorrow. That's gonna be interesting with a half inch of bare cookie crust sticking up.

e: obviously we cut that off and had it as a snack.

Meanwhile, she's announced she's also doing her first Swiss roll for tomorrow's party, will keep you posted

My Lovely Horse fucked around with this message at Dec 30, 2018 around 21:49

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008


Pillbug

Unless you have the hottest broiler I have ever heard of, she's going to overcook the poo poo out of most of the custard by the time the sugar gets even a hint of brown.

Edit: Like, you might not completely ruin them if you put them onto a cookie sheet and hold them up to almost touching the heating element.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



Yep. Custard got runny again and the cups finally split and leaked under the heat. Saved them in time to still be good (and they really were very good).

But I tell you what: that was a goddamn perfect Swiss roll we had.

TITTIEKISSER69
Mar 19, 2005

I'm here to kiss tittiess and win football games!


Pillbug

I'm getting caught up on the old schadenfreude thread and I just saw this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkXy12xVnRs

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!


First time seeing that video in quite a while and what the gently caress was that John Darnielle-lookin' dingus gonna do to those poor gnocchi with that much Frank's Red Hot?

CrazySalamander
Nov 5, 2009


prayer group posted:

First time seeing that video in quite a while and what the gently caress was that John Darnielle-lookin' dingus gonna do to those poor gnocchi with that much Frank's Red Hot?

The video is from one of those restaurant supply stores and that is likely their most commonly sold size. Also it isnít just Frankís red hot, it is specifically wing sauce meaning all you have to do is coat the wings, no mixing butter or anything. The guy wanted hot wing style fried gnocchi.

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!


Ah, didn't know that existed. Regardless, I will remain upset as that is an insane thing to try to do with gnocchi.

Bollock Monkey
Jan 21, 2007
The Almighty

prayer group posted:

Ah, didn't know that existed. Regardless, I will remain upset as that is an insane thing to try to do with gnocchi.

Created one of the most hilarious videos on the internet though, so I think it's entirely worth it.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019

You are young. You are beautiful. You are next.


Allow me to share a lovely homespun recipe for weaponized onion gas:

2 white onions
1 heavy duty food processor setup with a mincing blade

We turned that sucker on, opened it up, and proceeded to deeply regret our decision. Every mucus membrane you can imagine was burning, most of us were gagging... We went out for dinner that night.

Let me tell you... mince your onions the old fashioned way; otherwise you might end up with juiced onions and that poo poo is vile.

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

#GOAT


Resting Lich Face posted:

Allow me to share a lovely homespun recipe for weaponized onion gas:

2 white onions
1 heavy duty food processor setup with a mincing blade

We turned that sucker on, opened it up, and proceeded to deeply regret our decision. Every mucus membrane you can imagine was burning, most of us were gagging... We went out for dinner that night.

Let me tell you... mince your onions the old fashioned way; otherwise you might end up with juiced onions and that poo poo is vile.

Yeah that's why the dicing attachment exists

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.


Current boyfriend is a popcorn lover. He won't eat it at movies (too distracting, wants to see the movie), or generally make any on his own, but if it's there, he will loving go to /town/. And it's not like he's a compulsive eater. He'll eat like a handful of pretzels without issue. He'll eat his portion of dinner (which, to be fair, is large) and he's good. But popcorn? Hungry or not, my guy will go in on that fucker.

I have one of those microwave silicon popcorn making thingies. You add the fat, the popcorn, the flavacol (don't judge), and whatever seasonings you like. I did a bit of flavacol (seriously, stop judging), some nutritional yeast, and salt. I generally do it this way, because I am a salt fiend. I like things salty. Unfortunately, I was too busy making moon calf eyes at the boyfriend's adorable dimples that show up every time he smiles (and his drat smiles light up a room), and he was currently laughing at something I said, so dimples galore. First of all, the flavacol is salty to begin with. Then I add salt on top of that. But I was mildly distracted, and added like double the amount of salt I'd normally put FOR MY SALT LOVING SELF.

Jesus that was a salty batch. But apparently we were either drunk, or I met my salt equivalent, because we went loving /in/ on that batch. He even asked me what the hell I did to make it so good (RE: Flavacol, not the salt). I showed him, and his mind was opened to the lovely possibilities.

corgski
Feb 6, 2007



I really, really doubt anyone in this thread cares about someone using flavacol to make movie theater-style popcorn.

Tagichatn
Jun 7, 2009



I didn't even know what flavacol was until just now.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.

For many years now I've wanted to buy flavacol for my popcorn. I was putting it off while I was a graduate student making no money, because I decided it would be something to splurge on if I got a job after grad school. Then I did get a job but it turns out it's a job in India, and I live in India now, and there is no flavacol for sale in India. So now I tell myself that I'll buy it if I ever move back to America. I just hope America still exists in the future and that flavacol is still for sale. I have waited so long...

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.


TychoCelchuuu posted:

For many years now I've wanted to buy flavacol for my popcorn. I was putting it off while I was a graduate student making no money, because I decided it would be something to splurge on if I got a job after grad school. Then I did get a job but it turns out it's a job in India, and I live in India now, and there is no flavacol for sale in India. So now I tell myself that I'll buy it if I ever move back to America. I just hope America still exists in the future and that flavacol is still for sale. I have waited so long...

Babe? Amazon has an Indian site:

https://www.amazon.in/GOLD-MEDAL-99.../dp/B004W8LT10/

It's like $35, but you could well have it in your life right now.

JacquelineDempsey
Aug 6, 2008

It's a horrible name for anything really but especially a shirt.


Do cooking cock-ups that didn't turn into disasters qualify?

Was drunk in the wee hours and wanted some simple pasta with butter and lemon pepper. Noodles came out fine, added butter, grabbed the yellow-capped jar of lemon pepper seasoning and gave it healthy shake.

I had instead grabbed the very similar-looking yellow-capped jar of jerk seasoning.

It was... Actually kinda tasty? Jerk noodles, OC, do not steal

Admiral Joeslop
Jul 8, 2010

I can eat anything.

Fun Shoe

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Do cooking cock-ups that didn't turn into disasters qualify?

Was drunk in the wee hours and wanted some simple pasta with butter and lemon pepper. Noodles came out fine, added butter, grabbed the yellow-capped jar of lemon pepper seasoning and gave it healthy shake.

I had instead grabbed the very similar-looking yellow-capped jar of jerk seasoning.

It was... Actually kinda tasty? Jerk noodles, OC, do not steal

I somehow did the same to pasta but with cinnamon. I have no idea how but the end result definitely had a cinnamon flavor to it. Wasn't bad but certainly nothing I'd make again (on purpose).

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.

dino. posted:

Babe? Amazon has an Indian site:

https://www.amazon.in/GOLD-MEDAL-99.../dp/B004W8LT10/

It's like $35, but you could well have it in your life right now.
I know, but selling it for $35 is the same as not selling it for me. I have a real job now but it's in India, which means I barely got a raise from being a poor grad student in the first place. I can't spend $35 on salt for popcorn when I haven't even seen any stores selling unpopped corn kernels yet!

Suspect Bucket
Jan 14, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR


TychoCelchuuu posted:

I know, but selling it for $35 is the same as not selling it for me. I have a real job now but it's in India, which means I barely got a raise from being a poor grad student in the first place. I can't spend $35 on salt for popcorn when I haven't even seen any stores selling unpopped corn kernels yet!

Popcorn isn't a big thing in India, I think? My boyfriend dislikes popcorn unless it's covered in sugar or chocolate, and he says he didn't grow up with it. Which seems weird, because chaat is such a big thing, which is puffed rice covered in spices.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.

Well, chaat isn't a big thing in America, even though popcorn is, and popcorn is popped corn covered in spices.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019

You are young. You are beautiful. You are next.


I made some pretty decent food last night that nonetheless involved lots of cockups in the process. Didn't end up a disaster... but I haven't hosed up so many times on one easy dish.

A) I burned some of the bacon whilst painstakingly removing thyme leaves from the stem (stems were too weak to run between my fingernails)

B) Poured off too much of the bacon grease. Had to cook more bacon. At least this helped solve the burned bacon problem.

C) Forgot to remove the gills from the portobello mushrooms until they were already cooking in the bacon grease (in my defense I usually use cheaper mushrooms where you don't have to). Had to remove the gills from hot greased mushrooms.

D) I boiled over the pasta like a loving amateur. But I remembered to save some of the pasta water this time!

E) Didn't halve the linguini before cooking so the sauce wouldn't mix together right.

It ended up coming out pretty good (way better than I thought considering the trouble I had with it) but I'm gonna make it again later this week to nail it.

Resting Lich Face fucked around with this message at Mar 17, 2019 around 20:20

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

"The A+ TCC poster
you did nazi coming."





Wish I got a picture of it but my first attempt at gluten free Lo Mein was a bust.

Wife convinced me to go with rice noodles instead of gluten free spaghetti like most recipes called for. Ultimately it ended up being more of a veggie stir fry, sparsely populated with vegetables. Will try it with the spaghetti next time. And I think the secret ingredient to a good Lo Mein is going to be oyster sauce.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



I think I'm in the process of cocking up my falafel. The recipe said to "add enough flour to keep them from sticking to your hands" which turned out to be around twice the amount given, and I'm hoping it'll turn out alright but part of me knows I definitely overmixed them. I could see little gluten strands and the dough is a bit on the rubbery side of firm. I may have made seitan.

Killingyouguy!
Sep 8, 2014



Sounds like a happy accident to me

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Chocolate tastes bad,
also fuck you <3

For the rest of my life, I will say "welp, I really cocked the falafel" whenever I make a mistake.

mostlygray
Nov 1, 2012

BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH


prayer group posted:

Ah, didn't know that existed. Regardless, I will remain upset as that is an insane thing to try to do with gnocchi.

My grandmother used to make schupfnudeln which is really similar to gnocchi. She would boil it first, let it dry out on the counter, and then shallow fry it with breading. It would turn out crisp and tasty. I guess the real trick is to start frying with it cooked and dry. I can't imagine raw potato mush *not* exploding in a deep fryer.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



Fleta Mcgurn posted:

For the rest of my life, I will say "welp, I really cocked the falafel" whenever I make a mistake.
well, something good came of this.

Actually they were perfectly edible and in fact quite tasty, but definitely overworked and very dense and chewy. Next time I'll make sure to dry my ingredients more and maybe use some chickpea flour instead of wheat to dry the mix out.

Got like half of the mix left too, but that was entirely predictable.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«23 »