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Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness


Soiled Meat

Tweek posted:

I want you to remember that I gave you a chance to that that back.

I prefer a combination of cumin and paprika (with a pinch of ginger/cinnamon if I'm feeling frisky) over whatever sweaty dirt flavor tumeric provides.






edit:

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Tweek
Feb 1, 2005

I have more disposable income than you.



Have it your way. Consider yourself Called Out

Missing Name
Jan 5, 2013

Here you go. Juicy Fruit. Happy?


Tweek posted:

Have it your way. Consider yourself Called Out

Oh shiiiiiiiit.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



We just got a Crock-Pot and I don't really know how it works. Which is shameful, because it's a cooking utensil for people who can't cook.

A few weeks ago, I made this delicious chicken-lemon-green olive-squash concoction and wanted to do it again. I put all the stuff in, then decided, "Hey, if squeezing lmon juice in at the end is good, putting the WHOLE LEMON in here for 8 hours is gonna be awesome!"

Ever had nail polish chicken? 'Cause I think that's what I made.

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness


Soiled Meat

Tweek posted:

Have it your way. Consider yourself Called Out



I'll try to come up with some things, I guess.

Tweek
Feb 1, 2005

I have more disposable income than you.


Drifter posted:

I'll try to come up with some things, I guess.

Don't talk poo poo if you can't cook th' dish.

PopeCrunch
Feb 13, 2004

internets

Salad Prong

Indian food is loving sorcery. Stew-style curry looks like used food, but tastes amazing. Asafoetida smells like the devil's underwear after a week in the gym, but makes food taste good. HOW

Tweek
Feb 1, 2005

I have more disposable income than you.


PopeCrunch posted:

Indian food is loving sorcery. Stew-style curry looks like used food

Well, that's what you get for eating North-Indian food. Try something from Kerala or Tamil Nadu. More of a roasted veg thing than diarrhea soup.

(and what is the deal with all the sugar they use in The North?)

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

I had me a vision
there wasn't any television



Nap Ghost

Curry powder is a traditional part of Northern European cooking (UK, Germany, Scaninavia, the Netherlands).

It has nothing to do with Indian curry dishes. Swedish chicken in curry sauce is boiled chicken in a bechamel seasoned with chicken broth and curry powder. It's an old fashioned dish, the sort of thing a grandma would cook.

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008


Pillbug

PopeCrunch posted:

Asafoetida smells like the devil's underwear after a week in the gym, but makes food taste good. HOW

I bought one bottle of asafoetida, and it was probably the worst thing that I have ever smelled, and it stayed in my nostrils for about 6 hours. It was in this weird "holistic medicine" bottle, so I thought that maybe this was totally the wrong stuff, so I threw it out and bought some online.

The second bottle smelled exactly the same. I tried wrapping the bottle in multiple plastic bags, and an airtight flip top container, but I could still smell it every time I walked into my house. I threw it away before I even had the balls chance to use it.

Is there a way to contain it, without allowing its evil to escape?

Tweek
Feb 1, 2005

I have more disposable income than you.


I had thought you were supposed to let asafoetida breath.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010


Tweek posted:

I had thought you were supposed to let asafoetida breath.

What Tweek said. Just let it sit by the windowsill, or the counter, or whatever for a couple of hours. Within a day, the smell will be gone. If you try to contain it, however, your entire pantry/kitchen/house (depending on the size) will reek of the stuff.

... Unless you buy the weird North Indian asafoetida, which they add turmeric to for some reason.

Either way, just let it breathe, and you'll be fine.

@Axolotl: That does look decidedly European.

Tweek
Feb 1, 2005

I have more disposable income than you.


dino. posted:

... Unless you buy the weird North Indian asafoetida, which they add turmeric to for some reason.

You got a problem with turmeric?

dino.
Mar 28, 2010


Tweek posted:

You got a problem with turmeric?

LOL

No, I love the stuff. <3

When I'd be in the kitchen with my mum (as a kid), and I'd cut my finger by accident, she'd immediately sprinkle turmeric onto the cut. It'd sting like the nine hells, and then feel better. We put it into drat near everything, and it found its way into stuff that even other South Indians were like "You all put tumeric in that too? Huh. No wonder it's so good."

Illinois Smith
Nov 15, 2003

Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?


axolotl farmer posted:

Curry powder is a traditional part of Northern European cooking (UK, Germany, Scaninavia, the Netherlands).

It has nothing to do with Indian curry dishes. Swedish chicken in curry sauce is boiled chicken in a bechamel seasoned with chicken broth and curry powder. It's an old fashioned dish, the sort of thing a grandma would cook.


The version kids usually get at camp around here has a helpless can of fruit salad dumped on top of it (probably to cut back on the chicken). Groooooooss.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



There's a whole thing about putting fruit in these curry powder dishes. Never understood where that comes from.

Mostly it's pineapple and the bog standard curry powder. Occasionally you will come across something truly vile. Thai curry pastes are pretty hit and miss in European supermarkets already, often you'll find they're made with tomato paste for whatever godforsaken reason. But on one memorable store trip I saw a brand that contained apricot jam. There's a disaster for you and you don't even need to open the jar.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



My Lovely Horse posted:

There's a whole thing about putting fruit in these curry powder dishes. Never understood where that comes from.

Mostly it's pineapple and the bog standard curry powder. Occasionally you will come across something truly vile. Thai curry pastes are pretty hit and miss in European supermarkets already, often you'll find they're made with tomato paste for whatever godforsaken reason. But on one memorable store trip I saw a brand that contained apricot jam. There's a disaster for you and you don't even need to open the jar.

Japanese curry calls for an apple. Possibly also curry powder. It's a bit weird, but I loving love it.

Illinois Smith
Nov 15, 2003

Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?


I found a picture of what I was referring to after remembering that it's called Riz Casimir. It's appearantly a Swiss concoction introduced after World War II.



Watery flavorless gravy meets watery flavorless fruit bits and some chicken. The recipe calls for no other spices that curry powder and a little salt.

Illinois Smith fucked around with this message at Feb 7, 2014 around 11:09

PopeCrunch
Feb 13, 2004

internets

Salad Prong

Doom Rooster posted:

I bought one bottle of asafoetida, and it was probably the worst thing that I have ever smelled, and it stayed in my nostrils for about 6 hours. It was in this weird "holistic medicine" bottle, so I thought that maybe this was totally the wrong stuff, so I threw it out and bought some online.

The second bottle smelled exactly the same. I tried wrapping the bottle in multiple plastic bags, and an airtight flip top container, but I could still smell it every time I walked into my house. I threw it away before I even had the balls chance to use it.

Is there a way to contain it, without allowing its evil to escape?

Yeah you have to treat it like a child throwing a tantrum. If you try to stop it, nothing good will happen. Just ignore it and it'll go away eventually.

Oscar Wilde Bunch
Jun 12, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Story 1. When I was young my Dad's job frequently took him out of state for long stretches of time, and my Mom worked as well. So it's summer and I'm not allowed to leave the house, so what's an 11 year old to do? Why, play with the oven of course!

The first day I made some reasonable facsimile of a bunt cake. Not really the correct texture, but it tasted OK enough. The second day I tried to make "Almond Cake". It called for baking powder. We didn't have baking powder, so I just threw in a bunch of baking soda instead. I mean it said baking too, so it must be the same thing. Combined with some overcooking, what came out of the oven wasn't so much a baked good as it was an almond and bicarbonate flavored piece of tile that probably could have been used in an outdoor walkway somewhere.

So my mom come's home and I'm ready with a piece of "cake" for her. she takes a bite and immediately puts on the "It's horrible but it's my son so I have to pretend to like it" face. Since I thought she liked it I cut my own piece only to have to put the same face on since I made it and couldn't admit it was terrible. So we both just sat there and munched away on almond flavored paving tiles in silence.

Story 2. The Shoo-fly pie. I decided for my regular Sunday dinners I would make that old Pennsylvania favorite shoo-fly pie. I needed lots of molasses. I didn't know anything about molasses. I went to the store to get some, all the had was blackstrap. I didn't know what blackstrap was. I made the pies, and then discovered that I had made something akin to eating motor oil with a coffee cake crumble on top.

SSJ_naruto_2003
Oct 12, 2012



Iron Tusk posted:

Story 1. When I was young my Dad's job frequently took him out of state for long stretches of time, and my Mom worked as well. So it's summer and I'm not allowed to leave the house, so what's an 11 year old to do? Why, play with the oven of course!

The first day I made some reasonable facsimile of a bunt cake. Not really the correct texture, but it tasted OK enough. The second day I tried to make "Almond Cake". It called for baking powder. We didn't have baking powder, so I just threw in a bunch of baking soda instead. I mean it said baking too, so it must be the same thing. Combined with some overcooking, what came out of the oven wasn't so much a baked good as it was an almond and bicarbonate flavored piece of tile that probably could have been used in an outdoor walkway somewhere.

So my mom come's home and I'm ready with a piece of "cake" for her. she takes a bite and immediately puts on the "It's horrible but it's my son so I have to pretend to like it" face. Since I thought she liked it I cut my own piece only to have to put the same face on since I made it and couldn't admit it was terrible. So we both just sat there and munched away on almond flavored paving tiles in silence.

Story 2. The Shoo-fly pie. I decided for my regular Sunday dinners I would make that old Pennsylvania favorite shoo-fly pie. I needed lots of molasses. I didn't know anything about molasses. I went to the store to get some, all the had was blackstrap. I didn't know what blackstrap was. I made the pies, and then discovered that I had made something akin to eating motor oil with a coffee cake crumble on top.

Both of you sitting there eating paving tiles is making me laugh so much that i woke up my wife. Thanks, Iron Tusk.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Iron Tusk posted:

Story 2. The Shoo-fly pie. I decided for my regular Sunday dinners I would make that old Pennsylvania favorite shoo-fly pie. I needed lots of molasses. I didn't know anything about molasses. I went to the store to get some, all the had was blackstrap. I didn't know what blackstrap was. I made the pies, and then discovered that I had made something akin to eating motor oil with a coffee cake crumble on top.

I am confused, that is correct for shoo-fly pie.

ColHannibal
Sep 17, 2007


I followed this recipe;

http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/20...zza-recipe.html

Seriously his ratios are screwed to all hell, I followed exactly and I had a batter sitting in my mixer. I added more flour to try to firm it into a doughy but I did not add enough, the pizza I am eating has the worst crust I have ever tasted. Its like a soggy mess that dissolved everywhere except the outer ring.

feelz good man
Jan 21, 2007

deal with it


ColHannibal posted:

I followed this recipe;

http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/20...zza-recipe.html

Seriously his ratios are screwed to all hell, I followed exactly and I had a batter sitting in my mixer. I added more flour to try to firm it into a doughy but I did not add enough, the pizza I am eating has the worst crust I have ever tasted. Its like a soggy mess that dissolved everywhere except the outer ring.
Why did you bother following a pizza crust recipe that called for corn meal and cream of tartar?

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Bleak Gremlin

feelz good man posted:

Why did you bother following a pizza crust recipe that called for corn meal and cream of tartar?

Well the corn meal definitely makes sense for a Chicago style pizza crust, though that is a lot of it. To me the real warning bell is the food-coloring

The Glumslinger fucked around with this message at Feb 9, 2014 around 05:56

Oscar Wilde Bunch
Jun 12, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Splizwarf posted:

I am confused, that is correct for shoo-fly pie.

Blackstrap? I've seen differing recipes, some calling for darker molasses, but never blackstrap.

ColHannibal
Sep 17, 2007


The Glumslinger posted:

Well the corn meal definitely makes sense for a Chicago style pizza crust, though that is a lot of it. To me the real warning bell is the food-coloring

To be fair every recipe for Geno's east I can find calls for it.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Iron Tusk posted:

Blackstrap? I've seen differing recipes, some calling for darker molasses, but never blackstrap.

Tar and crumble a good shoo-fly makes. Blackstrap has a solid truckload of vitamins and minerals in it that make it a Health Pie(tm). The blacker the better.

sink the biz
Jun 13, 2002

My goodness my Guinness

ColHannibal posted:

I followed this recipe;

http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/20...zza-recipe.html

Seriously his ratios are screwed to all hell, I followed exactly and I had a batter sitting in my mixer. I added more flour to try to firm it into a doughy but I did not add enough, the pizza I am eating has the worst crust I have ever tasted. Its like a soggy mess that dissolved everywhere except the outer ring.

isn't that the norm for Chicago style casserole?

ColHannibal
Sep 17, 2007


sink the biz posted:

isn't that the norm for Chicago style casserole?

I dont think you understand, I pulled the outer ring off in one piece, there was no crust at the bottom following this mad man who claims to have made pizza.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

ColHannibal posted:

I followed this recipe;

http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/20...zza-recipe.html

Seriously his ratios are screwed to all hell, I followed exactly and I had a batter sitting in my mixer. I added more flour to try to firm it into a doughy but I did not add enough, the pizza I am eating has the worst crust I have ever tasted. Its like a soggy mess that dissolved everywhere except the outer ring.

Ten minutes of power-kneading in a mixer is a really long time. Also, how much protein is in his flour? He doesn't even say what kind he's using. King Arthur, for instance, just straight can't be used for some things (like Naan) without adjusting the rest of the recipe, as it's way higher protein (ie gluten, ie density and viscosity). There's a pretty good US State Department cockup story about that.

And hey blog guy, if you let it rest on the kitchen counter to rise all day, what temperature is your kitchen? vv

That's a lovely recipe.

ColHannibal
Sep 17, 2007


Splizwarf posted:

Ten minutes of power-kneading in a mixer is a really long time. Also, how much protein is in his flour? He doesn't even say what kind he's using. King Arthur, for instance, just straight can't be used for some things (like Naan) without adjusting the rest of the recipe, as it's way higher protein (ie gluten, ie density and viscosity). There's a pretty good US State Department cockup story about that.

And hey blog guy, if you let it rest on the kitchen counter to rise all day, what temperature is your kitchen? vv

That's a lovely recipe.

I should have done the math in my head, but its roughly a 1:1 ratio of liquid to dry :/

He also has no salt in his dough.

Aerofallosov
Oct 3, 2007

It was so peaceful beneath the glittering stars.


Don't drop a pot of boiling water when you're going to drain noodles.

Also, I remember making myself horribly ill as a kid when someone switched the sugar jar for coffee creamer. Both were white, cube-y powders. It only took one bite...

And definitely make sure to check with family members if someone switches sugar and salt when refilling something. I think my sister was just trying to kill me at that point.

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot hoot hoot hoot hoothoothoothoothoothoothoot hoooohootohtothotootothtoto, hoot


I've maced myself many times with dried peppers and hot oil, but I've just now mustard-gassed my kitchen and it's 100x worse.


I may have a future in terrorism.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.


While not quite a disaster, it's amusing. One thanksgiving, my folks decided to make some pies - a pecan pie, and a rhubarb (well the pecan was a disaster, they followed the recipe, but it was a gross syrupy mess) the day before. They threw a clean dishtowel over the pies before going to bed.

Later that night, I heard a noise from the kitchen and got up to investigate, and caught our cat on the kitchen stove standing right on top of the pies

I ended up yelling at her, and waking up my aunt who went to see what was going on. We investigated the pies, and discovered that despite her exploring and running off when I caught her, she just left two perfect paw-shaped holes in each pie.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010


Robindaybird posted:

While not quite a disaster, it's amusing. One thanksgiving, my folks decided to make some pies - a pecan pie, and a rhubarb (well the pecan was a disaster, they followed the recipe, but it was a gross syrupy mess) the day before. They threw a clean dishtowel over the pies before going to bed.

Later that night, I heard a noise from the kitchen and got up to investigate, and caught our cat on the kitchen stove standing right on top of the pies

I ended up yelling at her, and waking up my aunt who went to see what was going on. We investigated the pies, and discovered that despite her exploring and running off when I caught her, she just left two perfect paw-shaped holes in each pie.

So how'd the pie taste?

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.


dino. posted:

So how'd the pie taste?

didn't try the rhubarb, don't like rhubarb, but the pecan didn't set properly, so it was like eating mush with soaking wet pecans.

Alien Arcana
Feb 14, 2012

You're related to soup, Admiral.

I've done the granulated-sugar-in-icing thing. In my defense, the recipe called for "confectioner's sugar" and I assumed that was just the technical term for common sugar. I mean, if they meant "powdered sugar," surely they would have said that, right?

One of the tricks my mother uses when making cakes from mix is to substitute applesauce for the vegetable oil. Lower calories, I guess? When I was in college, I tried it myself, only I misremembered and replaced the eggs instead of the oil. Protip: Dry cake mix, water, and applesauce don't hold together very well!

And I managed to set a pot of water on fire once. (It boiled over, there was olive oil in the water and it ignited when it hit the burner.) There couldn't have been more than a tablespoon of oil in there but man it generated a lot of smoke. I'm still amazed nothing but the pot was damaged.

Bees on Wheat
Jul 18, 2007

I've never been happy


Buglord

Alien Arcana posted:

I've done the granulated-sugar-in-icing thing. In my defense, the recipe called for "confectioner's sugar" and I assumed that was just the technical term for common sugar. I mean, if they meant "powdered sugar," surely they would have said that, right?

I've done the exact same thing. I made a lovely carrot cake from scratch when I was learning to cook, then covered it in crunchy frosting. My mom still said it was good.

At my first job, my boss did the opposite and used confectioner's sugar when he needed granulated. I think he said they were out of regular sugar when he went to the store, so he grabbed it thinking it's just finer textured sugar. In his defense, we worked at a college biology lab and not a kitchen, but you'd think a guy who works with chemicals all the time would be more careful about substituting ingredients. Thankfully he was only making sugar solutions for a classroom experiment so it's not like anyone was going to eat it, but it was funny explaining why the sugar wouldn't dissolve.

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subpar anachronism
Jan 15, 2005

I think I'll try drinkin' tonight.


Mizufusion posted:

Thankfully he was only making sugar solutions for a classroom experiment so it's not like anyone was going to eat it, but it was funny explaining why the sugar wouldn't dissolve.

Powdered sugar doesn't dissolve in water?

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