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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Skinny King Pimp posted:

Throw some Old Bay on regular buttered microwave popcorn and gain a new appreciation for life.

Ugh, popcorn that tastes like Maryland.

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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Drifter posted:

Don't ovens normally heat things with an open flame, it just happens to be beneath a heat dispenser or something? I'm just not sure why a fire in an oven is that big a deal. Turn off the oven and let it burn out on its own, no?

I think he is saying the open heating flame had been extinguished by fluid, thus leaving the oven filling with gas while the cakefire continued above.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Ultimate Mango posted:

Let's call them rapid depressurizations. They didn't actually explode, just vented material under high pressure either from the nozzle or through the threaded neck.

Google has failed me in finding actual helpful information on using an ISI without having it spew contents everywhere.

http://www.cookingissues.com/2010/08/11/infusion-profusion-game-changing-fast-%E2%80%98n-cheap-technique/

I think it might have been overfilled in those fantastic stories. I have one and it's always done a great job (for infusing and for whipped cream/syllabub). Let me tell you about infusing chocolate vodka with fresh-cracked peppercorns. Also, butterscotch schnappes with fresh rosemary. :allears:

Splizwarf fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Feb 6, 2014

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Iron Tusk posted:

Story 2. The Shoo-fly pie. I decided for my regular Sunday dinners I would make that old Pennsylvania favorite shoo-fly pie. I needed lots of molasses. I didn't know anything about molasses. I went to the store to get some, all the had was blackstrap. I didn't know what blackstrap was. I made the pies, and then discovered that I had made something akin to eating motor oil with a coffee cake crumble on top.

I am confused, that is correct for shoo-fly pie.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Iron Tusk posted:

Blackstrap? I've seen differing recipes, some calling for darker molasses, but never blackstrap.

Tar and crumble a good shoo-fly makes. Blackstrap has a solid truckload of vitamins and minerals in it that make it a Health Pie(tm). The blacker the better. :black101:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

ColHannibal posted:

I followed this recipe;

http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/2005/12/ginos-east-pizza-recipe.html

Seriously his ratios are screwed to all hell, I followed exactly and I had a batter sitting in my mixer. I added more flour to try to firm it into a doughy but I did not add enough, the pizza I am eating has the worst crust I have ever tasted. Its like a soggy mess that dissolved everywhere except the outer ring.

Ten minutes of power-kneading in a mixer is a really long time. Also, how much protein is in his flour? He doesn't even say what kind he's using. King Arthur, for instance, just straight can't be used for some things (like Naan) without adjusting the rest of the recipe, as it's way higher protein (ie gluten, ie density and viscosity). There's a pretty good US State Department cockup story about that.

And hey blog guy, if you let it rest on the kitchen counter to rise all day, what temperature is your kitchen? v:v:v

That's a lovely recipe.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Ignoranus posted:

Out of curiousity, if you don't have an oil thermometer handy, what's a good way to figure out whether the pan of oil is too cold, just right or HOLY poo poo FIRE?

Serious/practical answer: viscosity drops continuously up to the flashpoint.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
If it happens again, use a turkey baster.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
So the obvious question: which GWS poster is running a troll food blog? :v:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Cimber posted:

all my flower, milk etc

I found your problem.

Cimber posted:

And ate a peace...UGH!

Uh, bro, I think you're supposed to smoke that.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Upshot is you can buy a Kitchenaid eventually but he'll never not be a shitbird.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Filboid Studge posted:

Hops and grains shouldn't be in the same vessel, dude.

First Wort Hopping is pretty great.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Pull it off the stove and hit it with a propane torch, outside.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
A former housemate of mine did that with the lid to his breadmaker, except it was an electric stove and a case of "which dial which burner" confusion. When he found out the twisted wreckage still technically fit on the breadmaker, he shrugged and kept using it. All subsequent bread tasted like plastic, a fact that he would always strongly deny.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

CrazySalamander posted:

I have a suspicion the "paprika" was cayenne powder.

Paprika comes in two forms: sweet and hot. The hot stuff can be hotter than cayenne. For whatever reason, it's not very obvious at a glance which is which with most brands. The packaging is usually nearly identical, and most brands go for word salad overload with small letters and not a lot of color contrast. There's a third type, smoked paprika, but I've never seen a use for it.

Red bag Doritos and deviled eggs are good examples of using hot paprika. Chicken paprikash is a good example of sweet paprika. Similar to that dude, I made the world's worst chicken paprikash with (accidental!) hot paprika once; it was terrible, and made all the more shameful by having been really good before I added the powdered sweat of Satan's balls.

The takeaway lesson here: read the label before adding any ingredient, even if you are sure you know what it is.

Splizwarf fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Sep 7, 2014

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

dino. posted:

Whole grain brad is going to taste like cardboard regardless. It's disgusting stuff.

If you feel so strongly about it then you and Brad should probably take a break, maybe see other people.

Whole grain bread often tastes nutty and complex. White bread often tastes like paper or wood glue, or just plain nothing.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
I like Brie instead of milk if I'm making box Mac.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Drifter posted:

If it's just Kraft (which is honestly pretty poo poo to begin with) you may as well just use water instead of milk if you lack milk. Toss a little extra butter or Olive Oil in there adn you're good to go.

Let's face it, if you're eating powdered cheese additive mac & cheese, it's not to get a legitimate Mac & Cheese experience. It's so you can punish yourself and eat away your loneliness.

Annie's (the brand) is actually pretty great.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
For me, bad day comfort food is a high-effort fancy as gently caress meal that I don't share with anyone at all. If I am feeling particularly beaten down, I take alluring photos of it and text them to people who aren't around so they know what they're missing.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Neuroshima Snacks

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Mister Macys posted:

Won't lie, I thought the purple ketchup was kinda rad, even if it was a stupid gimmick (I would've had R&D make it mustard yellow).

From what I've read, the most recent colored ketchups fad failed not because nobody would eat them but because most of the color additives passed through entirely intact. "Hulk Green" ketchup was apparently the most notorious, especially in diapers.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Probably your neighbors have new cusswords too. :laugh:

That loving sucks and I've done almost the same thing (but with the filling all over the bottom element, on fire, and also running out below the oven door).

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

pumpinglemma posted:

I'm completely new to stir-frying and I knew absolutely jack poo poo other than "this is ostensibly a good wok" and "the hotter the better". Thank you for the infodump. (But I'm pretty sure the gunk wasn't just oil given that the bottom of the wok was black before I started and mostly silver afterwards...)

You are right about the black stuff not being oil if it was non-stick. Teflon will burn off if overheated, and is mildly toxic to normal humans. However, the fumes are pretty lovely (ie the chokey aspect of the smoke was not just chili) and are "don't gently caress around" dangerous to babies and the elderly, along with smaller pets. Cats and dogs are usually okay but rodents and especially birds are very vulnerable. My friends found this out the hard way and lost two parrots and a cockatiel to overheating a single damned frying pan in an apartment.

If you ever see smoke, not steam but smoke, coming off a non-stick pan, you are ruining it. Best practice is do not ever turn the heat on under a Teflon-coated pan unless there's something in it to transfer the heat into, even if you expect to be standing right there adding ingredients.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Skinny King Pimp posted:

eh, I've known a few people who do that. dunno why they do, but they put a pinch of powdered sugar in their scrambled eggs.

Causes extra Maillard browning without the extra cook time aka drying and toughening.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Neither is a lot of vinyl flooring! Ask me how I know! :v:

bringmyfishback posted:

Was making chili oil and made way more than I meant to. I just moved in and only have two glass jars. The oil didn't feel particularly hot to me, so when the only thing I could find was a plastic Tupperware-knockoff tub, I poured the oil in.

Three seconds later, the poo poo melted. Explosively. Like, once second it was there and the next, it was dissolved and there was spicy oil EVERYWHERE.

We did this once when nitrous-infusing fresh jalapeno vodka (amazing taste), but it took a few hours to melt the (well-cleaned) plastic peanut butter jars that we used for storage. This means it made it all the way home to my friend's house, looking fine, and then the bottoms of both our jars disappeared overnight. Smelled amazing in the morning, but the cleanup was a nightmare. At my house, the entire counter and some of the floor had a thin gel layer of "don't touch your loving eyes!"-fluid.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
The dust is inert afaik and passes right through you. The Bad Stuff was the gas produced when he burned it to dust, which will kill your pets, babies, and elderly. Birds go the fastest. The liquid form is also pretty bad but you only get it downstream from production facilities; there's no way to re-liquify it after it's applied and set.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
I try to avoid preaching in this thread because it can feel like an attack, but this one is really important to me:

Anything liquid cannot be removed from a recipe. Always, always pour your fluids into a measuring cup or a bowl or a something before it hits the main recipe bowl. A single bad egg can ruin hundreds of dollars of other ingredients. Ask me how I know!

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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Turkey was tasty enough. My mom hosed up the pie crust and it was harder than cement, but last time she made a pie, she forgot to put sugar in it, so...progress?

To be fair, we only really started eating the crust sometime in the last 250 years. She made a History Food. :colbert:

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