These are the people you share a road with: Let's play "drunk or hyper-miler?"

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > These are the people you share a road with: Let's play "drunk or hyper-miler?"

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

I was in Vietnam recently and wished I had documented the traffic there better. Millions of motorscooters and nobody, I mean nobody, follows any basic driving rules. Drive against traffic? Who cares. Red light? Says you. Clockwise round about? You mean anticlockwise. Paved median? Speed bump for my u-turn. Pedestrian crossing? Start/finish line. One vehicle per lane? You mean three. No passing? OK, I'll pass on the left, or the right, or the sidewalk (where I usually park). The traffic is shoulder to shoulder, mirror to mirror peds, bicycles, scooters, cars, busses and trucks.

The funny thing is, compared to Thailand (where people tend to follow the rules, there is colossal gridlock, and you are 4x more likely to die in a traffic accident than in the US) traffic keeps moving - but at 30 mph max, usually more like 10 in the city, and you're only 2.5x as likely to die as in the States.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2013 10:53

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 07:32

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

The numbers are based on motorists, though, not total population. There is definitely enough traffic density in VN for it to be an issue.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2013 14:46

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 03:35

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Dec 18, 2013 23:11

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

I've never been asked to do this during a stop, which is good since I can't even do it sober.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2014 21:33

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

xzzy posted:

I want to thank the owner of the 335i perpetuating stereotypes about BMW drivers who was so incensed at being forced to drive at a mere 45 in a 40 mph zone that he zigged between lanes about four times in a quarter mile trying to find a hole, crossing a double yellow to try and figure out why people were blocking him (spoiler: the road was full and no one could go faster) and flipping his high beams rapidly because we didn't part like the red sea to allow his lordship through.

He hugs up on my bumper and does this for a few seconds, so I brake checked him. That finally got him to back off but as soon as a car in the other lane made a turn he juked around me at full throttle and tried to brake check me back. Unfortunately for him I knew it was coming so I'd let off the gas and all he ended up doing was looking like an even bigger dick.

About 100 yards later he made a left turn, and jerked the wheel three times as he tried to decide which side to slip around the next car in front of him, all before he'd even finished the turn.

Stupid shitface, hope he impales himself on a guardrail.

No matter how much of an rear end in a top hat someone's being, brake checking is a pretty terrible idea all around. It's an easy way to cause an accident and inconvenience a whole lot of people other than the parties involved.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2014 06:34

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Kazinsal posted:

Passed a black Buick (older, probably late 80s) that was doing 55 in the far left hand lane on the I-5 just south of Everett today on my way home from a day trip down to Woodland Park. The whole right side of the car was smashed inwards, covered in duct tape, and spray painted black.

God, I wish I had gotten a picture of that.

Washington.jpg

Why do people in your state drive so slow in the left and center lanes?

# ¿ Jun 21, 2014 17:40

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Pham Nuwen posted:

Your loving country, why is the solution always "let's add more cameras!"?

Your man Orwell was not writing an instruction manual

Jesus, this. I entertained moving to the UK 10 years ago but it's become such a nanny/surveillance state that I wouldn't be able to take it. Nice place to visit, though.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2014 17:03

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Kidney Stone posted:

Let me just put this is in here:

Please tell me this is satire.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2014 18:46

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Also re: the whole inspections thing (in the United States), it's all well and good to mandate safe maintenance standards for cars, but I would prioritize driver education over that. Although many accidents happen due to mechanical negligence, the majority of accidents are caused by idiots with cars in reasonably good condition.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2014 21:28

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

I was driving home yesterday behind a new Malibu and the driver flicked his cigarette out the window. I stopped and picked up the butt, then caught up with him (long, straight street with no turn offs) and followed the remaining 1/2 mile until he stopped at a long light. I got out and knocked on his window, which he rolled down, and told him "Don't do it again," before flicking his own butt in his face. He was too shocked to say anything; nobody else was around so I turned around behind him and went home.

a) I guess I'm a cool cigarette-flicking AI guy now

b) One of these days I will be killed by someone with a gun in their car

c) I know not all smokers litter like assholes, but far too many do.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2014 16:38

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Yesterday I saw a Mini parked across four spots, a car behind me started laying on the horn when I pulled over for a fire truck, and some idiot kid on a bike ran a stop sign right in my path - I slammed on the brakes and missed him by 2 feet; he looked like he was making GBS threads himself.

Why are so many people bad at this stuff?

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 13:29

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

LloydDobler posted:

In Oregon it doesn't even have to be two one ways. You can turn left on red onto a one way from a two way.

Only 5 people in the state seem to know this, though, and I end up honking at the rest (which never works, they sit there in dumbfoundment).

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 18:51

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

These are the people(?) Russians share the road with:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnsdc7cTPuU&t=35s

# ¿ Sep 2, 2014 23:52

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

A haiku for people who waste my time:

Put down your cell phone
Keep your eyes on the stop light
Go when it turns green

# ¿ Oct 1, 2014 18:21

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Zipper merging ++

You should always merge when you're supposed to. Merging early just cuts the carrying capacity of the road and causes more traffic and congestion. It's not about who's "first" in line, it's about getting everyone where they need to be.

Everyone in this goddamn thread needs to read this loving book:

http://www.amazon.com/Traffic-drive-what-says-about-ebook/dp/B001BAGWQE/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1417503727&sr=8-5&keywords=traffic

# ¿ Dec 2, 2014 08:04

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=7c6_1419341917

# ¿ Dec 24, 2014 21:46

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 05:11

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 23:00

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Probably ABP, but so good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyldcogFacg

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 18:22

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pG2urgjFUuI

# ¿ May 8, 2015 10:46

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Re: front plates - real cops in my city don't give a poo poo but the parking nannies ticket you for it.

# ¿ May 19, 2015 19:38

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Brigdh posted:

Denver?

Portland. The Miata is the only car that I tend to take downtown and I just took the plate off of it. I'm going to see what happens when I leave it on the dash next time. Since I leave the car unlocked (or top down for shorter periods of time) it might be stolen, but hopefully everyone here is too busy stealing bikes instead.

# ¿ May 19, 2015 22:33

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Oct 3, 2015 08:04

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Jesus, this is sad. Why can't people secure their loving loads?

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/loca...FlowTwt_NYBrand

# ¿ Oct 8, 2015 16:10

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3zHRQn_IShw&feature=youtu.be&t=1s

Title on YouTube is misleading

# ¿ Oct 16, 2015 07:58

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

DEAR RICHARD posted:

In a span of less than a minute, I got to test my brakes and how long I can sustain a horn blast twice. Twice.

Both of them are on this picture:

Burnside turns into a winding 40 mph road with two lanes going west and one lane going east. Traffic was light as hell going west and I was in the left lane cruising at 45. Honestly, these turns and poo poo are fun. There was one car in the right lane that was far enough ahead and going fast enough that I was 100% visible to them.

1. Car in the right lane begins to drop speed, slam their brakes, hit the signal, and loving TURN left across my lane to park or something. I'm going 45 ish when I see them start to lose speed so I just get this feeling that something loving dumb is going to happen, so I slow down. There isn't anyone behind me, so it's okay. Dude slams his brakes, flips the turn signal, and doesn't swerve into my lane, but just turns. If I hadn't had seen what he was doing from the start, I would have driven right through his drivers side door. I came to a complete stop with him feet from me and I just laid on the horn for a good 30 seconds and flipped him off the entire time. Dude had a solid 10 minutes to get into the left lane and then turn, but nah, he saw a spot and took it. Also, there was a loving flipped over car off to the side right near where he wanted to park.

2. I'm stunned. My jaw is hanging low and I'm still in disbelief when garbagedick number 2 happens. I'm still in the left lane, no cars around me going my direction, light traffic going in the opposite lane. I'm back up to around 35 at this point when I see this dude in a Sentra at a stop sign to my right decides to make his turn NOW instead of waiting for me to pass. His lane isn't clear, so he turns into my lane going head on with me. I slam on my brakes again and lay on my horn and flip off another dickbag in a span of like a minute.

There were a fuckton of other geniuses out there today. I seriously need a dashcam. Portland drivers are loving idiots.

Someone turned left across my lane on Taylor's Ferry the other day; I almost died. I blame transplants for all the bad driving lately. Need to get my Mobius wired in. I'm going to put together a local meet, you should come.

blk fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Oct 19, 2015

# ¿ Oct 19, 2015 06:11

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

E: NM

# ¿ Oct 19, 2015 14:37

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 12:48

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

I drive in Southern California about one week out of the year and don't mind it. It's the same terrible behavior I see in the Northwest, just at a faster rate of speed - so hey, at least we're getting somewhere.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2015 17:34

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

# ¿ Dec 13, 2015 21:24

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

The best part was the additional student driver stickers wrapping around both sides and the front.

WARNING: TEENAGER

# ¿ Dec 14, 2015 03:44

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

http://i.imgur.com/jTriOwS.gifv

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 01:39

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Late to the flash to pass party, but I've always wondered if I could put a couple of bright orange flashing LEDs behind my center mirror or someplace inconspicuous and turn them on when the driver ahead of me isn't paying attention - like the orange lights on top of utility or railroad or flag vehicles. I'm not sure what the regulations are on that - I don't think it'd be impersonating an officer but it might run afoul of something else.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2016 10:10

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

Here's how a local state trooper treated a motorcyclist who passed on a solid line:

http://i.imgur.com/TrqPCCF.gifv

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 03:48

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

The Locator posted:

I wasn't even all that concerned about him bumping the bike, it was how he acted afterwards, with his gun out (and handled in a way that I've certainly never seen taught outside of a video game or gangster movie).

What's even scarier is that OSP claims that's standard procedure. Glad I've never been caught by them.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 05:25

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=38b_1455155825

# ¿ Feb 11, 2016 18:23

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 07:32

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

The video is totally worth it http://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2017/01/washington_motorcyclist_crashe.html#incart_river_home

# ¿ Jan 21, 2017 15:30

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > These are the people you share a road with: Let's play "drunk or hyper-miler?"