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Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Shoes for pidgeons posted:

cuddlepiles and glomping

A literal internet hugbox :haw:

Has anyone heard of Jabrosky lately? He was that one troper with a huge fetish for black women.

Edit for content:
Someone in the writing subforums is having trouble with his sci-fi story. What kind of trouble?

quote:

The ideas I hear sound amazingly cool, but I get bogged down in trying to figure out how they work.

quote:

I don't even know how a clock works; how am I going to come up with an in-universe explanation for a teleportation device? I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life reading up on how basic poo poo works before I can get anywhere!

quote:

quote:
Perhaps stick with one thing you do know.

People who sit on their rear end all day and surf the web, and who find even throwing trash in the trash can instead of the floor to be absolute slave labor. Got it.

quote:
You know who your protagonists will be,

Barely. I just have vaguest ideas: "this one's a little shy, this one's more outgoing, this one wears glasses, this one humps Anything That Moves�"

quote:
you know your setting,

Barely. All I know is "future-y, but not in space, and everyone's a furry".

quote:
you how you want this story to go.

I don't. I really, really don't know what I want from this.

quote:
Then pick one thing to study and learn as you work with what you already know.

That's the problem. I know jack squat.

TV Tropes Forums > Real-ish > World Building > future-y but not in space and everyone's a furry

Djeser fucked around with this message at 02:04 on Sep 13, 2013

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 01:52

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 11:47

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

I did some digging around and I found this, where he outlines a fairly generic fantasy idea but which surprisingly doesn't have any reference to jungles, dinosaurs, or black women, so maybe... :unsmith:

Jabrosky posted:

Some concept art for a new writing project of mine which rewrites the Robin Hood myth:

Robin Hood Reimagined

Maid Marian (Robin's love interest)

Nope he's still at it :smith:

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 02:16

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Tropers definitely find the act of creating a work hard. You know what's not hard, though? Naming your works!

Your Work's Titles

Samui Kizu posted:

The only one with a definitive title so far is "Dragon Tales" ( as in fairy tales if that wasn't obvious ). Main character is a dragon ( in human-ish form ) and he encounters all kinds of fantasy stuff, but unlike normal fantasy, it's as realistic and scientifically accurate as I can make it without getting it proof read by actual scientists. And the occasional offenses can conveniently be handwaved by the MC's eccentric/trickster mentor being a *something* ( even I have no clue wth she/it is ) so mind-boggingly powerful that she can play around with things like the limit of infinity and the boundary of existence.

My story is about a furry dragon and there's fantasy stuff but it's all serious and cool and there's a mentor who can do monkeycheese powerful stuff.

KW posted:

Eternal Bushido

Eternal Revolution

Eternal Raising

Eternal Bushido

Endless Karate

Forever Fist

Oh So Into Cats posted:

I am contemplating titling my current work WARNING: Contains Spiders. The story contains spiders and I keep forgetting that a lot of people won't read that. If a book is full of spiders so that once you open it they leap off the pages and down your shirt readers apparently need adequate warning.

no I haven't read This Book Is Full Of Spiders what are you talking about

Darkblood Carnagefang posted:

The only two I've named so far:

Strike Force Alpha-Omega: A Genre Busting mix of Anime genres, Superhero tropes, and Toku references put into a blender on the 'speed whip' setting, as well as a heavy amount of Shout Outs to Indiana Jones movies, James Bond, H.P. Lovecraft stories, Film Noir, among many other things.

Magical Girl Card Assault: Something like Yu-Gi-Oh!, but with Magical Girls as the battle monsters. I kind of want to make it into an actual card game.

If works of fiction could wear fedoras these would be wearing the ones with a feather in the brim.

Red Eyes Negro Dragon posted:

Lament of a Ghetto Knight: A fantasy story following the life of the once legendary songsword known as Blacknight - master of the Wu-Tang sword style, and the dopest rapper on any coast East or West. Now a washed-up shadow of his former self, the knigga retells his adventures to a former fan of his in a seedy club. Full of tragedy, romance, comedy, murder and glamour. Inspired by the Kingkiller Chronicles, 2pac, rap music in general and lots of weed. Also includes a fantasy Ku Klux Klan with actual grand dragons.

I'm not sure whether this is brilliant or terrible. Either way I want to see more.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2013 17:14

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

It's interesting but it's :psyduck:

in a thread full of 'my magic uses heart as an elemental power'.

MinistryofLard posted:

The worst thing about Writers Block is that in the entire list of stupid threads, not once have they got one called "What are your story's themes?"

The only time I've ever seen them discuss the idea of conflict is in the thread where they talk about whether you can write a story without any conflict.

Dr Furball posted:

So, I'm writing a comedic webcomic about a group of teenagers. Something of a Widget Series. Anyway, I keep coming up with what I feel are ideas for story arcs that have great potential to be funny. I come up with a good premise, begin writing...and I suddenly can't do anything with it.

How do I make the most of an idea?

A webcomic about a group of teenagers with monkeycheese humor? :monocle:

# ¿ Sep 15, 2013 14:45

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

Man, what else would qualify for a trope with that criteria? "Peeing Standing Up"? "Crying In The Corner Because I Can't Get Laid"?

They have a trope for tropes that are so broad and meaningless as to just be things that happen, which they call People Sit On Chairs.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2013 16:35

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Is the cool quotient of swords just so high that they're the only weapon anyone ever considers? I'm just wondering why there isn't more spear-centric or axe-centric stuff in generic storytelling. You'd think that--

quote:

TV Tropes Forums > Writer's Block > Is it racist to give a Native American supersoldier tomahawks?

never mind

# ¿ Sep 15, 2013 20:21

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Axeman Jim posted:

So I wander over to BTL to see what's up and veterans of previous mock and TVT threads will recognise a familiar face. Geez that guy gets around, even Tropers don't want him.

Wait, this is the 'my parents should face criminal charges for making me suicidal because they didn't buy me a prostitute without telling me' guy?

Internet singularity approaching :aaaaa:

# ¿ Sep 15, 2013 23:52

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

From a thread entitled 'Wizarding School - NOT a Harry Potter rip-off':

quote:

I've been thinking about writing a story set in a Wizarding School. Here's what I have so far:

It�s a One Gender School (all female)

The school sport is a version of lacrosse played on winged horses

There are 6 school houses � Diamond House represented by silver, Emerald House represented by green, Ruby House represented by red, Sapphire House represented by blue, Coral House represented by pink and Amethyst House represented by purple

All students must take an entrance test to determine their skill, and they are sorted into the house which represents their skill

All students wear a uniformed color coded to their house

You can�t be a mage unless you are born with a �gift� � a mystic power that gives you the ability to use magic

The subjects are: Astronomy, Alchemy, Potions, Flying, Fortune Telling, Foreign Language, Spell Casting, P.E, Origins of Magic, Music, Art, Home Economics, Magical Botany, Magical Animal Care, Healing, Maths, Shapeshifting (I may change some of this, if I can figure out what should be changed)

So, what do we think? Some feedback would be appreciated.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2013 23:10

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

It's safe to say that deconstruction in the Derrida sense and deconstruction in the troper sense are divorced enough that there isn't really much you can compare between the two of them. I've got no problem with the troper definition of 'showing inherent inconsistencies and/or flawed assumptions in a given genre'. Words can mean different things, that's fine.

The problem is that tropers don't follow their own drat definitions of things. Take this guy, for instance, who describes a robot drone-turned-battlebots thing that is a deconstruction of Pokemon because...they're robots, and there's a military backstory.

Belisaurius posted:

So I want to know if this is a deconstruction of Pokemon or it's own thing.

So it's Thirty Minutes Into The Future and someone developed a practical anti-ICBM system (it's a giant laser, just assume it works). Without the threat of nuclear war, however, world powers ended up getting more aggressive militarily. In order to stem the manpower loss technologically advanced nations focus on drone warfare, making millions of remote controlled and autonomous war machines.

Problem was, drones were dumb. They never got a tactical AI worth a drat so entire battalions of drones marched fearlessly into killzones while the greater part of the division ended up destroyed in detail.

Remote control was slightly less successful. The anti-ICBM system was also an effective means of disabling satellites and just about every military in the world carried chaff grenades. Only signals from short range had a decent chance of getting through.

Eventually, modern armies figured out that the best way to control their drone forces was to have a human commander on location to keep track of the drones. This usually boiled down to a PFC. controlling a fireteam worth of drones. Lethality tended to drop as once all the drones were down the commander ran for their life.

When the brushfire wars finally petered out, mostly because the economic land gains were vastly outweighed by the cost of fighting, there was a vast surplus of drones with no real purpose. The vast majority were demilitarized, stripped of armaments and repurposed as tools. Veterans of the wars found that they missed the excitement of battle and sought to recapture the feeling (think hells angels).

With all those drones and bored commanders lying around it was only a matter of time before someone rigged up some paintball guns and flashbangs and had a mock combat match.

Things spiraled out from there. Within months there was the Drone Battles League setting regulations and broadcasting networks that finally have a year round sport.

With all that money flowing it wasn't long before third party developers figured out how to put a decent AI on a drone. Unfortunately, it wasn't much smarter than a dog and an unimaginative dog at that. However, it did give drones with the advanced AI a degree of personality.

This guy seems to be trying to deconstruct blaxploitation using PTSD.

X Ray posted:

So basically, I have the basic idea that there's this Buddy Cop couple (Sam Jackson and Denzel Washington), one of whom has to go to a psychiatrist (Morgan Freeman) because he suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of his time in the army (he's a veteran of the Iraq War). Similar to The Elements Of Crime, this movie is framed as Sam Jackson's character's explaining the events of the movie to the psychiatrist. Will Smith, meanwhile, is a local gang leader who is in conflict with the police, and Jackson and Washington's character, who are gang unit detectives, are trying to bring him down. Throw in Viola Davis as Jackson's wife maybe and Rosario Dawson as her opposite number as Will Smith's girl, we just have to get a blaxploitation spin on this to make it into a cataclysmic action movie which deconstructs the genre, but not to the point of parody.

So, what I'm basically asking is how one would go about deconstructing the genre of blaxploitation. Also, how could my brief summary be worked into a blaxploitation plot?

He hasn't watched any blaxploitation movies of course, but :downs:

X Ray posted:

Yongary posted:
Have you actually watched any blaxploitation movies?
No, I have not. I was just tossing ideas around, is all.

The way tropers deconstruct Family Guy is by making it into something a thirteen year old would think is edgy.

Doomsday 524 posted:

If the writers decided to make a shift to make it both Darker and Edgier and to play Family Guy completely straight, without any Rule of Funny.

I'm thinking, Peter...Quagmire...Herbert...MEG...the flashbacks...

Meg would be Driven to Suicide. Quagmire would be a serial rapist Complete Monster, as would Herbert, and Peter would be an Abusive Parent Psychopathic Manchild who helped drive Meg to suicide by cutting her wrists in the bathtub, and his abuse is played straight. He has a Freudian Excuse because of his adoptive father Francis's emotional abuse, but Peter, mentally retarded, insane, and drunk, terrorizes and abuses his family on a frequent basis, and they don't feel they have a way out.

Here goes. Brian can't actually talk. The family has been deluded into thinking he can as solace from the fact that Peter abuses them (Meg in particular). And the flashbacks are also their way of attempting (and failing) to cope with their horrible reality. Peter's drunken abuse caused Stewie's head to be shaped the way it is.

What do you think will happen?

Tropers are so bad at understanding what their own definition of deconstruction means that other tropers made a page outlining what doesn't constitute a deconstruction. But even if it's written by smarter tropers, it's still written by tropers.

Not A Deconstruction posted:

If the kingdom is invaded by a brutal neighboring nation, the royal family's murder described in Gornful detail, and the princess repeatedly raped before being sold into slavery, this is Darker and Edgier but not a deconstruction.

Style guides need more rape in their examples. That's what Strunk and White was really missing.

As an encore, have this, from their page on works that do both deconstruction and reconstruction.

Decon Recon Switch posted:

The Pony POV Series is a good example. It takes various aspects of the series, deconstructs them, and then reconstructs them. The best example is the basic premise of Reharmonized Ponies; that the World Healing Wave that accompanied Discord's defeat didn't heal the mental damage he caused...but friendship can still heal it. It also took the idea that Fluttershy's Discorded self was a split personality Discord created with the character of Fluttercruel, Fluttershy's Child By Mind Rape by Discord who at first tries to take over, but eventually is reconditioned by Fluttershy's parenting and becomes the mane cast's Sixth Ranger.

Fluttershy's Child By Mind Rape is the worst bronycore metal band :smith:

Djeser fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Sep 22, 2013

# ¿ Sep 22, 2013 18:43

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

To get off of lit nerds whining about tropers using a word wrong, here's "Your Post-Apocalyptic Badass Look".

quote:

Let's face it, kiddies: Whenever some sort of worldwide disaster occurs in fiction, you can be sure that the main characters will gain, at minimum, four levels in badass. Naturally, this requires a wardrobe change as well. So what's yours?

Two rules to keep in mind:

Make sure to include what sort of apocalypse it was (zombie invasion, aliens, post-World War III, etc.)
Don't go overboard in the description; you're not filing a police report. Just the major stuff (including any cool weapons).

I'll get started:

APOCALYPSE TYPE: Similar to the events of Rifts, but a lot more supernatural/mythological creatures invaded than aliens. Basically, creatures from multiple mythologies and Gary Gygax came through multiple portals 25 years ago, causing all sorts of chaos.

Major features:

Badass Longcoat, obviously.
Black fedora.
A sword (picture a jet-black spatha), hand-forged from a mixture of Thunderbolt Iron and silver.note Collapsible like Sulu's, and carried on a special holster inside the coat.
A pair of Colt revolvers, with both regular and special ammo.
A couple scars from a demon's claws decorate the left side of my face, barely missing my eye.
A chain of monster skulls is slung on my body like a bandolier.

quote:

Apocalypse Type: Hostile alien invasion

Clothing:

Black pants with multiple pockets

Dark grey t-shirt with a monochrome unicorn decal (because unicorns are cool)

Black leather longcoat with a hood

Protective mask

Black backpack

Black sneakers

Weapons: Two long steel swords (named "Falchion" and "Tyrfing") used to cut flesh, a pitchfork (named "Vladimir") used for stabbing and long-range attacks, a steel axe (named "Libra") used for cutting into hard surfaces, and an emergency handgun (named "Paul") used for shooting. Also skilled with any pipe she comes across, and can fight hand-to-hand in dire situations.

Appearance/Personality: A young lady who has shaved her head to increase aerodynamics and to avoid incidents with long hair and has acquired a tattoo on her left arm reading "cho ogata"("colossal") , Landorkus has made use of her love of destruction by killing any hostile alien she meets. She has become even less sensitive over the years, and smiles eerily as she slices her foes.

It's a shame tropers don't read or they might have read about more interesting apocalypses than alien/zombie/monster/warzone.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2013 22:52

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Post your favorite least favorite lines from tropers' own writing.

quote:

The character is talking to a really serious and formal woman who actually a vampire.
quote:
"He has my sympathies. Aaron was a bit of a scrub.�

He looked back at her confusedly. Scrub? Like the TV show?

�That isn�t a term that�s used anymore, is it?�

He shook his head.

Really serious and formal secret vampire whose only exposure to popular culture is No Scrubs.

quote:

quote:
Yeah, doesn�t she hang with that dork who thinks the government is run by ghouls or something? Maybe he's using her to fight fire with fire.

~A minor peripheral character only there to show my protagonist's All of the Other Reindeer status. I kind of feel like that line is a little too good for a minor character, but eh, whatever.

to whoever can figure out what this is trying to say. From the same guy:

quote:

quote:
I was walking down a road of flames, barefoot. I was looking for the coolest spot, naturally, trying not to let the mud on my feet dry up too fast. The coals beneath my feet seemed to stretch on for miles in all directions, but there had to be an end to it somewhere. God forbid it end up in a men�s sauna. Unless it had Leon in it. Not that there was much time to think about that since the coals were suddenly turning into ninjas, all equipped with Fifi-repellant ninja spray. I countered by giving them an innocently flirtatious pose, causing watermelon juice to rain down and dissolve all of them into platypi. Three of them rubbed against my feet and that was when I finally woke up, got dressed, and went to school.

~My idea of a proper Dream Sequence. Believe it or not, there is some actual foreshadowing in there, though even if you know the context, the metaphors are still probably a little obtuse. Even I have a hard time making the mental leap from one concept to another.

sometimes people are funny when they say ninja so i said ninja to make it funny

quote:

quote:
"I swear, you are the most useless of the Forsworn Lords." Liana, ever so smug and used to her superiority in the social hierarchy, gloats in a demeaning tone, "What, gonna cry, you little mousy bitch? You useless, spineless idiot."

The mousy looking woman in the black dress opposite her quakes a little, and then slowly rights her posture, "I am sick of you, Liana." All of a sudden, burning pain in Liana's head. She collapses on the ground, her brain feeling like it was boiling.

"You constantly talk down to people, using your high position like a bludgeon. Well, you picked on the wrong person today." The pain escalates until it feels like ice picks cracking Liana's skull open. She screams, but none can hear her, "I-I might not be as beautiful a girl, or as alluring, or as rich, but I do have one thing you don't."

Liana can only scream now, and suddenly vomits as the pain sluices down through her neck and then quickly down to her toes. Megala quakes, but remains steady, "I-I'm a Forsworn Lord, just as much as Gabbie and Sam, and I command respect. I can be a million times meaner than you can, Liana. Lets compare; you bully, talk down to, and isolate. I spy on and destroy nations. I think I win in the evil department."

Liana realizes her fatal error. She had underestimated her new allies, and overestimated her own position, "P-Please...not t-that."

Megala looks away from her dismissively, "Yes, that. From now on, Liana of House Midrune, you revere me. Y-You never talk down to or bully anyone ever again. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Liana struggles one last time, as she feels Megala's magic squirming in her brain, deleting her individuality, destroying the woman she once was. One last scream, and then, "Mistress, your orders?"

"Clean up this mess. With your fancy dress." Megala walks off, allowing herself a small smile.

Here we have ex-social outcast Megala from an RP I am participating in, and she's a villain, granted, but she takes down and demolishes the Alpha Bitch who was dabbling in dark magic to get her own petty, very mean spirited revenge. Given what this libby was doing before, this is Laser-Guided Karma.

I really, really liked writing this.

"I really, really got off on writing this."

quote:

For the funny Forsworn Lord, here's Ashlau Dimodeus trying to attack some knights.

quote:
Ashlau combed his beauteous raven colored hair offhandedly, contemplating if they were past the tree yet. Lincifa told him he could get the drop on them from there.

The pretty youth thought over The Plan Lincifa and Sam told him; Kidnap the Prince. Ransom him to his father. Set a meeting for the exchange. Kill both of them at the meeting. Simple as...simple as...simple as simple could be.

"I just need to magickify them." He watched the knights walking past with the Prince at the center of their formation. Ashlau was immediately angered. The blond was exactly the same as Ashlau's old tormentors, those who he tracked down and had thrown in his dungeons before he was sealed. Big. Muscular. Carried himself with confidence.

Mind muddled with anger, Ashlau stalked forward with what he thought to be cat-like tread. The knights, due to the inexperienced attempt at skulking, immediately knew something was up, and were ready.

Ashlau leaped into action with a half-way sort of almost attempt at a half-hearted valiant warcry, "Come with Forsworn Lord Ashlau Dimodeus, you...you...you...big dumb doodoo head! Or face my sorcerous fury!" The knights proceeded to draw their swords around him, having arranged themselves in a circle around the would be assailant.

Dimodeus gulped, he had some ways out of this. He was certain. He had gotten out of worse sticky moments. There was that time Selmira almost tortured him by accident. It was surely accident. Surely. And he got out of that.

The Prince chuckled, "Big dumb doodoo head? What are you, seven?"

Ashlau whimpered, "...S-Seven hundred..."

Hell yeah this scene totally fits in a story with mind rape ego death enslavement.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2013 02:04

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

quote:

Shamshalg Shows What Kind of Villain He Is:

Shamshalg: "I think we should kill him and his uncle's entire family."

Mercenary: "Why? He's just a messenger!"

Shamshalg: "Because they look like purple monkey baskets of orange apples. That is as good as incest and fetishizing airships in my book!"

Merc: "...Sir? Are you okay?"

Sham': "I've never been okay. I've been so un-okay I've been excellent!"

godd writang

edit to add:

quote:

I haven't actually written this yet, but I did have this one line I quite liked: "Sacrifices have to be made for our convictions; I merely sacrificed those who did not agree with mine."

Hasn't actually written it but he has a favorite line from it. Tropers! :psyduck:

# ¿ Sep 28, 2013 03:11

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

I took a trip down into some old threads and this is what I found. Here, we have two tropers (the OP and Deboss) arguing for turning English into Lojban because it offends their Aspergers or something.

deathpidgeon posted:

Basically, I view English as a good language, but a very flawed one. I am seeking to fix those flaws.

In doing this, I seek to improve it in four standards, in particular:

1. Precision: The tightness of a words set of definitions. A word that means fire and heat would be much more precise than one that means fire and sword as fire and heat are more similar to each other than fire and a sword.
2. Accuracy: How little a word's meanings conflict. For example, a word that means torch and flamethrower would be more accurate than one that means torch and fire extinguisher, as flamethrower and torch are both things that create fire, while a torch and a fire extinguisher do very different things.
3. Lack of ambiguity: The clarity of what is meant by a word.
4. Elegance: Having a clear, steady, and beautiful flow and rhythm.

My plan for doing so is as follows:

1. Look at the grammar on its own, and modify it so that it can achieve internal consistency, which is a major problem I have with the English language.
2. Modify the existing vocabulary to match it up with the new consistent grammar without changing the words so much that they are unrecognizable.
3. Go through the language, and change some things, and drop some things, to get rid of unnecessary rules and forms, as well as clear up inherent ambiguity, such as by removing the singular they, and replacing it with a new pronoun, re-adding "thou" to distinguish between the singular and plural second person, differentiating between the inclusive and exclusive we, and many other things.
4. Go through the language, and change the spellings to be phonetic, which will be helped by my addition of accents, umlauts, and macrons to my arsenal, as well as slightly changing the pronunciation of homophones. To account for differences in accents and dialect, I will err on the side of keeping consonants and on not merging vowels. *
5. Create simple, and easy to remember, variations on words with a lot of meanings, especially those which have a large spread of meanings, rather than very similar meanings and assign each meaning a variation.
6. Review my newly fixed English language, and determine if I've missed anything.

So part of what he's proposing is making a neuter pronoun. He hasn't even looked at Wikipedia on pronouns or he'd see he's got like fifteen neuter pronouns to pick from. Also, he thinks thou is a second person plural pronoun. It's safe to say he doesn't know poo poo about the language he wants to reform.

Almost everyone in the thread tells him trying to remove ambiguous words a dumb idea. They tell him that jokes, poetry, literature, et cetera rely on ambiguous words, and what does he say to that?

deathpidgeon posted:

The fix will hamper poetry and jokes. I get that. I just find improving the ability of people to communicate ideas to be more important than the ability to tell jokes or write poetry.

His dogged insistence continues for a couple pages, then Deboss comes in with good old cultural imperialism.

Deboss posted:

We crushed wildly different measuring systems with metric, is there a reason we can't crush wildly different accents? Or at least, come up with a relatively consistent set of vowels and remove the silent ones?

quote:

Measuring systems are something you can replace a hell of a lot more easily than a dialect and dialects are often linked closely to identity, much more so than what measuring system you use.

Plus, what dialect are you going to decide is the 'right' one to base everything off of?

Deboss posted:

Why is it easier to replace measuring than dialects? A lot of people seem to naturally slip into the measuring system they learned first, so it should at least be comparable. Most people I know learn to speak and pronounce from television style dialects which should be usable in this case since it's fairly widespread. That's no different than deciding everyone drives on the right side of the road, as long as it's consistent, goal has been met.

So 'TV English' is the one that he thinks should be standard for everyone. No word on whether that's American Broadcast English or Received Pronunciation.

Someone tells him he's assuming people are rational when they're not.

Deboss posted:

I'm not assuming people are rational, I'm assuming they're creatures of habit and that dialect is a habit that can be broken.

I don't know why people who know nothing about language want to reform English so badly.

I also found this thread, where someone posts their lovely horror/thriller story and asks for help.

quote:

I need some serious help with my writing for my story here.

First off, how do I present something like that as a credible threat to a US Army base? I want to make it a fair fight, but people keep telling me there is no way any slasher would be able to so much as touch an Army soldier before they get blown up by artillery.

Next, how does the US Army work? What does each rank do, what are the policies, and what doctrine are they going by?

And last, does the premise suck but the story good? Or is the premise nice but the story a heap of crap? Or is it all just stupid? Because I've heard that if a premise is bad, then the writing is terrible as well.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Just don't flame or troll me.

Turns out he didn't even realize what point of view he was writing from, and he has no idea how the Army works beyond that they have soldiers and bases and ranks. Then Don Quixote de la TV Tropes shows up, and his windmills are tropers writing poorly. He critiques the first chapter line by line. He talks about style and sentence structure and word choice and pacing. But this is TV Tropes, so the author's only response to his critique is:

quote:

The thing is, I have other things to do, so I only have a limited amount of time to write. Therefore, no time for all that Purple Prose you want.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2013 14:20

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

It's either :smug:

moral relativism 'look at the sort of thing that might be okay in the future' or :smuggo:

'rape is default for men and women and if we didn't criminalize it there'd be no problem'.

To move off of rape for a bit, here's some of the latest from TV Tropes' own version of Creative Convention. This thread is 'Describe yourself'.

quote:

Name: (Chris) Age: (16) Ethnically: (American) Religion: (agnostic atheist) Quirks: (My imagination)

Personality: (I'm very mixed in my personality so it is hard to describe.)

Tropes:

1. (Deadpan Snarker) 2. (Brilliant, but lazy) 3. (Jerkass Facade) 4. (Nice guy) 5. (Meta guy) 6. (The stoic) 7. (Keet) 8. (Cloudcuckoolander) 9. (Ditzy genius) 10. (forgetful)

Sadly, the thread's locked, so we don't get to see any other tropers' self portraits in Trope, but let's look at the tropes he says he is.

Deadpan Snarker: The character that makes sarcastic remarks.
Brilliant But Lazy: Smart but doesn't do much with it.
Jerkass Facade: Someone who acts like a dick but secretly isn't.
Nice Guy: Someone who is generically pleasant.
Meta Guy: The character that makes fourth-wall-breaking comments.
The Stoic: Someone who doesn't show much emotion.
Keet: "Best described as the human equivalent of a parakeet: small, cute, colorful, hyperactive and regularly loud. A hyperactive kid who is also somewhat In Touch With His Feminine Side. The Keet is often a male surrogate for female audiences." The page goes on to talk about how it is an anime thing.
Cloudcuckoolander: "A bizarro weirdo living in their own little world," according to TV Tropes Laconic, which is useful when you don't want to read five paragraphs on the trope's application in shounen manga.
Ditzy Genius: Smart but bad at common things.
Forgetful: This is not a trope, it is an adjective.

Those are what the tropes are supposed to mean.

This is what they mean in context:

I think I'm sarcastic and witty.
I could totally get good grades if I wanted to.
I am a teenager and/or think being a dick is cool.
I am a Nice Guy, why don't girls like me?
I want to be Abed from Community.
This makes literally zero sense next to seven as they are exact opposites.
I am annoying.
I am monkeycheese random.
I am at high risk for self-diagnosed aspergers.
I am forgetful.

A bonus, from the Brilliant But Lazy page.

quote:

An obvious subversion here is the notable difference between someone who actually is Brilliant But Lazy and someone who thinks they're Brilliant But Lazy but is actually just Lazy. This also applies to those who are secretly afraid they're not brilliant and hence refuse to exert themselves for fear they'll be exposed.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2013 21:46

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Whoever was saying that the Japanese words tropers use are all easy but embarrassing to translate is right - apparently "Netorare" means "cuckold". Somehow the question of why that might be considered gross or might not be super-popular is the thing tropers think is worthy of analysis. And they don't even manage to get it right - as creepy as otaku obsession with childlike (often far too literally) innocence is, I think there might be a more obvious reason why cuckold porn isn't very popular.

I think they mean unpopular in the sense that it gets a lot of vocal disapproval, and not that it's an uncommon fetish. Because as internet fetishes go, it's fairly common. Maybe not as inexplicably widespread as vore, but still.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2013 02:19

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

TV Tropes Main Page posted:

We are not looking for dull and uninteresting entries.

Let's take a jaunt through the random article button.

Messy Hair posted:

Some characters just can't get their hair into a neat and tidy hairstyle. Others can't be bothered. Still others actually like their hair that way. All of them have Messy Hair.

Endangered Species posted:

In recent decades, the term 'Endangered Species' has been popularized in many media. Endangered Species have become a major international cultural phenomena, with creatures such as the Giant Panda becoming global celebrities. While the term 'Endangered Species' probably entered common usage with the passage of The Endangered Species Act in 1973, the concept is far older. In 1948, the International Union for Conservation of Nature began formally classifying certain species as 'endangered', and the beginnings of wildlife conservation date as far back as late ancient times.

Yes, they did link to the very same page in the trope description.

Ring Menu posted:

A Ring Menu (also known as a Pie Menu) is an interface element where a list of possible actions are displayed in a ring or circle, often centered around a character.

Sword Pointing posted:

A character points a sword forward, either to challenge an enemy or command an army. Depending on how heavy the weapon is, this might be hard as hell to do in real life for any extended time period.

Recurring Location posted:

A place which is not the main hub or boss area in a series, but a minor place which appears over and over again within the same series.

Visible Sigh posted:

Relegated mainly to lighter anime, the Visible Sigh is a little white cloud that appears near and moves away from the mouth of a person sighing. It is also used to symbolize heavy breathing after exertion and some cases where the onomatopoeia "phew!" is used in English. The cloud itself is usually circular with a small "stem" that points toward the character emitting it.

Name One posted:

Alice cites a statistic of some sort. Bob, however, believes this is untrue and asks Alice to give one example of this statistic. And Alice gives an example.

This is more of a trope than, say, 'messy hair', but the trope page itself is just a list of conversations.

Brown Eyes posted:

Brown eyes are a sign of a trustworthy and stable character. A character who's "down-to-earth". It can even mean that they have earth-based powers. Its very rare in both Eastern and Western animation, and even film, for a Caucasian of either gender to have brown eyes. This is due to their apparent plainness and association with the generic, as most fiction is focused around characters with special traits. However, brown eyes can be used to emphasize a character's charming or seductive nature.

(This page is locked from editing. :iiam:

)

Bonus material: Apologetics for Black Dude Dies First!

quote:

In the past this perception was because there were few black leads in big-budget films outside of those that focused specifically on race or used it to make a point. Historically moviemakers were generally writing to white audiences, so it was natural (at least in their opinion) for whites to get more screen time. And if the writers throw in a Token Minority to give the cast more believable racial balance, who do you think is going to die first, them or the folks who have a bigger role in the script?

# ¿ Oct 6, 2013 14:47

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Flesnolk posted:

The whole "justified trope" thing is weird, their page on it says it's when the use of a given trope is actually required in the story or is the logical consequence of something else that happened in it, but for a community that's all about listing every single goddamn thing that happens in a work no matter how minor, they're oddly defensive at times about admitting works they like have a trope in them. A bit of self-awareness of the fact trope is really just a nicer way to say cliche, maybe?

Tropes aren't necessarily cliches, but they can be. 'Butler did it' is cliche and trope, 'flashback sequence' is trope but not cliche.

I do think that there's a ranking though as to how 'cool' a usage is. Just using a trope is lame. Justifying it or lampshading it makes it okay because the author was totally in on the :spergin:

joke. Averting it means you're too cool for school. Subverting/inverting it makes you a Deadpan Snarker Crouching Loser Hidden Badass. Deconstructing it makes you Jacques Derridawesome. Reconstructing it makes you King This Troper V, ruler of Tropevania.

So you never want to say your favorite work just used a trope.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2013 20:29

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

DoctorPresident posted:

Hey! It's one of those "you know you..." lists.

This list is mostly trolling, right? They're not seriously dropping cliches in their work so that a website will write a couple lines that say 'they dropped a cliche in there and had someone go "Wow, what a cliche this is!", trope lampshaded!'.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2013 22:35

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Tropers just don't really get writing.

"Show" a sentence that the poster above "tells"

What do tropers think 'show don't tell' means?

quote:

Example: "The day was sunny"

turns into

"It was midday and the warm sun streaks shone brightly".

They think it means 'use more words'.

quote:

For reference, I didn't write this. It's actually from an online comic, but it was too good to pass up. ^^ Also, it's a bit different from the presented sentence, because it's in conversation rather than presented as a description, but I feel it still fits pretty well. ^^

Someone is utterly evil.

"You're a malevolent one. Your words and energy are venomous like the bite of a cobra."

"Your lifeforce is the nastiest, darkest mess I've ever seen. Kind hearted people like Luk are just easy prey for you."

They think it means 'use dialogue that would make Square Enix's localization team feel uncomfortable'.

quote:

quote:
David felt something snap inside of him.

There is only so much one man can take. Being ambushed by atomic masked luchadores on the way to work was one thing. Fleeing from a city under attack by a giant monster that looked like it had stepped out of a Showa era kaiju movie, that was another. Attacked by a homicidal zombie clown? That was a third. These were all things David could take in stride. But this...

"I'm... sorry, sir, but we don't have any more creamer..."

"... qrhbvlaehbvnahebnvlqeihbvnareBHFLVARUHBCF LFIHERYBV WHQERV CLBQIJR DVLEHCV LWEQHBRNVHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" David gargled at the barista in his anger.

They think it means 'monkeycheese slap your keyboard'.

Okay, maybe I'm being rough on tropers. These are just writing exercises. Let's take a look at the first lines from things they've ~~finished~~ worked on. Everyone knows your first line needs to capture the reader's attention.

quote:

From The Cherry Contract

"Let�s see here�if I arrange the regents like this�wait, did I do it wrong? Oh, I think I made a mistake here. I think I might be able to save it. Hmm�"

Yeah, I guess it's far more mundane than most examples here.

quote:

�One last group of Wolkenritter. You're closest.� Hayate told Signum. �The area is temporarily blind to teleport, probably because of their ripper. Buy some time.�

ugh

quote:

Pardon the all-caps, but that's the way it was originally written, to be part of a comic strip to introduce a tongue-in-cheek RPG.

CHAOS ERUPTED IN THE SUPERMARKET AS THE HOODS OPENED UP. THE UZI CREATED A SEA OF OATS OUT OF THE CHERIOS DISPLAY WHILE THE MAC-11 SENT BITS OF COLE SLAW FLYING FROM THE CABBAGE RACK. THE GROCERY CLERK TOOK A STRAY BLAST FROM THE FULL CHOKE 12 GUAGE RIGHT ON THE DIAL, TURNING HIS HEAD AND ARM FULL OF VEGETABLES INTO A SPRAY OF HEMOGLOBIN SALSA. AS JOHN GLANCED DOWN , HE NOTICED THAT THE CONTOURS OF HER RIPE MELONS WERE PULLED TIGHT AGAINST THE SCANT COVERING OF THE SHOPPING BAG.

SECRET AGENT JOHN BONDAGE ASSESSED THE SITUATION. THINGS WEREN'T LOOKING THAT BAD. HE HAD THE GIRL, HALF A DECK OF SMOKES AND TWO MAGS FOR HIS DESERT EAGLE NIFTY FIFTY. WITH A LITTLE LUCK, THEY WOULD STILL MAKE THEIR RESERVATIONS FOR LOBSTER AT SEVEN

ughhhh

quote:

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night, 50 years later in a place with no weather nor nights yet another day began. This was Sano's 8000th day and he had no recollection of day #7999. He didn't know that yet, nor did he know that someone had colored his hair pink and a matching miniskirt was hanging from the ceiling fan. He was still sleeping, dreaming about Earth and a dark stormy night just like those he had seen in the movies, just like the ones in the beginning of poorly written stories with run-on sentences, stories with stuff like haunted houses, screaming maids, slamming doors, pirate ships and a child that might or might not be growing up in Kansas anymore, possibly due to the weather.

oh my god gently caress you

# ¿ Oct 15, 2013 02:47

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

To be fair to tropers, Futaba Channel started it.

Or as they would say, EverythingsBetterInJapan OlderThanTheyThink BilingualBonus lampshaded GratuitousJapanese justified YouKeepUsingThatWord inverted EaglelandOsmosis

# ¿ Oct 15, 2013 03:04

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

I once wrote a paper on the cosmology and religion of the Elder Scrolls games that analyzed its real world inspirations.

It was dorky as hell, but the point is that pop culture analysis can work academically if you approach it with enough rigor to actually get something meaningful out of it.

TV Tropes is entirely unsuited for something like that and seeing those poor Analysis tags at the top of every page is so sad.

In other news though, our favorite ~~writers~~ writing cargo cultists are starting up a contest and I'm sure the entries with be urrrblaaagghh

# ¿ Oct 16, 2013 23:25

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Antivehicular posted:

On one hand, it's a TVTropes writing contest, and that means nothing good will come of it.

Fully aware that nothing good will come from this, I make a promise to the TV Tropes thread that once the tropers post their stories for that contest, I will read them, judge all of them, and declare my own winners.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 01:21

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

posted:

she is not out of character (unless she had been raped, at which point i would expect her to avoid all phyisical contact like the plague)

That's not how rape works. If furry webcomics have taught me anything it's that rape and/or abuse turns you into a wacky pervert.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2013 21:14

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

quote:

Razor Claw's description is "A wickedly sharp claw perfect for raking enemies. It allows a certain kind of Pok�mon to evolve."; one of the definition of rake is "to claw at; to scratch". Now imagine doing that with sharp claws...

You guys joke but you don't realize Pokemon are fighting each other. They could get hurt :ohdear:

# ¿ Oct 20, 2013 16:30

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

There is a thread in their writers' forum called Post Your Concept. I was expecting to see them practicing story pitches. I don't know why I was expecting that.

quote:

"It was 1906, and the Greater London Difference Engine was debating the ethics of radium dials with a sentient perpetual motion machine. Meanwhile, the world was ending."

Yes, it's another glorious Steampunk setting. This time, subtlety has been thrown overboard. This is Glue Some Gears On It, a bawdy love song with creepy stalker overtones to the Steampunk genre. It all started when Leonardo DaVinci got into the War of Gears against a fellow inventor, which turned the Renaissance into a clockpunk Forever War between the various European powers. Through a stiff upper lip and egregious use of time travel, Great Britain came out on top as the British Empire came to encompass the entire planet. However, things are about to go even further to crap than they were previously.

Reckless experimentation in Aetheric physics is slowly shunting the entire world into The Landfill along with Ireland, which was sent there 30 years prior. The only hope for the British Empire rest in an unholy abomination summoned into their world. An incomprehensible entity just as likely to destroy their world as save it: The writer. Well, a copy of the writer. However, there was some conflicting software issues, so the copy ended up... unhinged. Meanwhile, the real writer tries to reign in the situation as his (my) story goes off the rails.

It is a mess of meta with a chest-height fourth wall lacking OSHA compliance, and frankly it sounded like a good idea at the time.

Points for knowing your audience. Idiot nerds would be all loving over a Lovecraftian steampunk meta book.

quote:

My story Archmage Reborn takes place in a world known as The Haven by its inhabitants. It is very Earth-like, though there are differences such as a golden-colored moon and that the world's landmass is a sort of "Pangea", one large landmass, though there are two separate landmasses that are kept secret from the rest of the world.

In The Haven's backstory 4, 000 years ago there was a terrible battle known as the "Enchanter's War" between humans who were gifted with the ability to use magic and [[Muggles those who could not.]] It started because the magically gifted (known as "Empowered") finally grew tired of hiding their power and decided to coexist and create a world without the need for a Masquerade. This backfired horribly and they were persecuted by the world's governments and almost driven to extinction. Eventually the Empowered gained a Dark Messiah in the form of a masked witch who called herself Thana Krelios and she called them to strike back against the non-gifted and wipe them out. In the midst of this came a wizard calling himself Ramellen Gloria who tried to end the fighting with talk of equality and coexistence. He didn't hesitate to use violence but only when there was no other option.

Eventually he and Thana fought over ideals, as he wanted peace and had a plan to achieve it and all she wanted was to keep fighting until the other side was wiped out. They engaged in a magical battle that lasted three days and nights and destroyed entire cities, before he finally killed her. After this, Gloria did something that gave all humans the gift of magic to end the fighting between Empowered and "Muggles". Unfortunately for him, this last act resulted in his death.

The story takes place four thousand years later in the year 6011. The Haven is vastly more organized but still war-torn. There are thousands of nations that exist on The Haven's main continent, some of them are democracies, many more are monarchies, still others are simply oligarchies. Regardless of their government type, the nations themselves all swear allegiance to one of two vast factions that dominate the world with their beliefs and ideals: the the Conclave or the Iron Legion.

The Conclave is ruled over by the Magisters, five witches and wizards of immense power in their respective fields, and generally tries to present itself as The Federation and smears the Iron Legion as cold cruel barbarians. Nations under the Conclave are generally at "our" current technological level with a few tweaks here and there. There are no cars, only rather low-tech transports like wagons (though they do have motorized hovercrats). Long distances can easily be crossed via teleportation magic, so this is not really a problem. Other than that they are again pretty much like us; they have electricity, phones, television, security systems etc. However magic is pushed everywhere and takes over many functions we ascribe to tech. Want a spray tan? Just go to your beauty shop and have someone use Healing Magic ("Healing magic" being a catchall term for whatever magic influences the body's functions, wound repair or otherwise) to speed up melanin production in your skin! The Conclave generally treats the nations under their control well but they are not even close to being as benevolent as they try to appear. Allegiance to them requires absolute obedience, and when they have wars with the Iron Legion, nations under them must send out soldiers to do battle or risk being abandoned by the Conclave and all support taken from them. They have also conducted numerous involuntary human experiments on prisoners and such, but they are all secret and any witch or wizard discovered doing them outside of the Magisters' approval is punished and disavowed.

The Iron Legion is similar in that it gathers nations under them while allowing the countries to have their own governments. However they are anti-magic in the extreme, viewing it as unnatural and borderline evil. They are fiercely obsessed with technology, having invented such things as cybernetic limbs that flawlessly interface with the brain, tanks, poisonous gas, powerful firearms (though the Conclave has firearms, they are not common). They also have constructed robots, flying Final Fantasy style airships and many other cool toys. They are ruled over by a single family and have been passing it down that line regardless of whether the heir is male or female.

They are much less tolerant however and their laws, especially for using magic, are harsh. For example, one character's mother secretly studied healing magic through smuggled books in order to cure her daughter's blindness because her problem was beyond even the Legion's advanced surgery techniques. Her punishment when caught was to have her tongue torn out and her eyes gouged out to match the ailment she was trying to heal and then put on public display in her town's square. Thus while everyone can use magic, not everyone wants to. Dang!tongue I haven't even gotten to the main plot of the story and I've already taken up this much space. Anyway, the world-building part of a story is always my favorite and I'll continue talking about if it's not too obnoxious.

This story was written in a world that's very Earth-like except everyone is thrilled by your dumb epic history.

quote:

I once posted on here about my idea of creating an inversion Lyrical of Nanoha. Here's what I mean.

Twenty Minutes into the Future, a young girl get caught in a war between an international force and Mega Corp that gave her cybernetic implants. She ends up Falling into the Cockpit as she finds out his father, the CEO of the corporation, gave her the modifications so she could pilot Real Robot mecha. Convinced she'd have a more meaningful life as a Child Soldier due to having Abusive Parents who were died long ago, she jumps at the call to fight the international aggressors.

While Nanoha is called a Gundam show in magical girl from, this is would be a magical girl show in Gundam form, or I should say Knightmare Frame form. At the beginning, the girl fights enemies similar to a Monster of the Week (i.e. first an IFV, then a helicopter, then a tank, then a flying drone, etc.) She along with many other girls and boys like her would pilots various mecha, all of which are based on characters from magical girl and magical girl-based shows from West to East, young to old, childish to mature. Plus, there would be a cybernetically-enhanced cat to serve as a Mentor Mascot!

Already shared it with a few other people, who find it a cool idea.

Poorly written anime-sprinkled mush? That's some good TV Tropes.

quote:

Simple concept for my NaNoWriMo: SCP meets MythBusters in a blog format.

Nerd thing meets annoying nerd thing in a format that means I don't have to bother with boring hard stuff like word choice or tone. It's just like posting to Tumblr!

e: Note that all of these concern either backstory or worldbuilding, only one mentions a protagonist, and none of them really touch on their story's conflict or themes.

Djeser fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Oct 21, 2013

# ¿ Oct 21, 2013 23:45

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

DaveWoo posted:

Here's a challenge: try to find a concept in that thread that isn't sci-fi or fantasy.

Is an idea that is thoroughly anime technically fantasy? If not then do I have the next summer bestsellers for you!

quote:

Shut-in NEET otaku's laptop broke, needs to get it outside and go fix it. Story'll essentially be of the troubles he goes through to get it fixed, and to finally get back home, despite the numerous amounts of obstacles during the way and the way back that it's like a comedy(Which it is), while providing negative commentary on society and finding himself involved with various people and places.

Boy A, our protagonist, is a new freshmen entering his first year of highschool. A few months into the school year, at a yearly school music perfomance, he sees one of his sempais performing onstage and instantly falls in love with her. Ever since then, on lunch breaks, while walking around school, or just randomly, he starts noticing her around a lot more. She's a very popular girl, although not the most popular, but she has quite a few friends. Her tomboyish personality, however, pretty much made her easier to get along with the boys. In particular is a group of three boys from the same year she hangs out with a lot. As the story progresses, Boy A somehow one way or another gets to know these three seniors, and finds out a huge love square going on underneath this friendship, and witnesses how it resolves.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 00:35

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

The best you can do is search the forums for their user name.

TV Tropes is not a very well designed site :ssh:

# ¿ Oct 24, 2013 22:29

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

FedoraDefender420 posted:

gently caress off

Edit: The picture better be loading for you or I'll look like a jerk.

You have to link directly to the image.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2013 13:17

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

A troperrific online serial novel? Sounds great. Let's read chapter one!

quote:

The alarm clock broke the silence of the early morning with an obstinate and repetitive high pitched beep, until an arm managed to find its way from underneath the mess of sheets and covers on the bed to silence it, with more tries than she�d have liked to admit. Ran emerged from the warm little nest she had assembled during the night, with her red, almost pinkish hair covering her freckled face. She crashed her head back on the pillow with a frustrated scowl.

�Awuuu, it�s too early��

Rubbing her face, she sat up.

�I can�t stay on bed. I can�t be late again.�

We've got a cliched starting line, wordy sentences, irrelevant physical description, and people making anime noises. And all within the first two paragraphs!

quote:

She hugged herself as the chill of the outside world got through her flowery white and blue pyjamas, and quickly made for the bathroom with fast but short steps.

�Ran-chan? Are you awake?�

The feminine voice was coming from the kitchen. The origin was a woman standing in front of the sink washing dishes, and when the water from the tap slowed down its flow she closed it.

�That girl, she could at least respond,� she said, shaking her head.

�Come on Miya, she just got up,� the man sitting at the table responded, sipping his coffee.

�Sure Taizo, she takes after her dad, huh?�

She turned to the man and smiled. Her red hair was a shade darker than Ran�s, and it was collected in a small bun on the back of her head. Taizo let his eyes linger on her wide and radiant smile, and then looked at her narrowed eyes and smiled too, shaking his head.

�I just can�t resist that smile of yours, you devilish woman.�

The man used his eyes and he looked at the woman's eyes and her smile and then he smiled too. "Taizo, my husband, our daughter, Ran-chan, takes after her dad, which is you, right?" The woman had red hair that was #CC4040 instead of #FF5050.

quote:

It was only a few minutes before the door of the bathroom opened again.

�Ran-chan?� Miya called.

�Yeeeees.�

�Hurry up or your breakfast will get cold!�

Ran walked into the kitchen and sighed.

�I hate this uniform,� she complained as she sat down.

�No complaints young lady,� Miya reproached her, �it�s hard times for everyone, it is what it is.�

�But moooom,� she continued in her special I�m about to have a freak out complaining voice, �it�s green and khaki and grey everywhere, even dad is wearing that and he�s not even in the army! Why can�t we wear something nice! A silk dress, a nice blouse, all I have that is not dull, dull, dull, is my ribbon, and it�s the same pink as my hair! Why?!�

The dialogue pisses me off because they're apparently terrified of using 'said'. Also I like to imagine since there's no description of the uniform, and her father is apparently wearing it too, that they're both dressed up like anime schoolgirls.
MOM TELL DAD TO STOP BEING SO KAWAII

quote:

She was about to take some air to continue when Miya put a plate full of breakfast in front of her. With an almost audible click, she forgot about her fashion woes, took up the cutlery and quickly went down to business eating. Miya smiled and patted her daughter�s head.

�Really, every morning the same thing�� Taizo said, shaking his head.

�Oh dear, are you going to start too?� Miya said, turning to her husband and smiling.

Taizo looked at his wife and started laughing.

�Ayah, you got me there.�

�Ran takes so much after her dad.�

And with that and her smile, she sat down to have her own breakfast. Taizo stood up just a few minutes afterwards.

Visual gags work best in written media.

quote:

�Well, I for one don�t want to be late, so I�ll see you two later young ladies.�

He winked, put on his grey cap, and headed off. The small apartment looked as if it had doubled its size with the departure, he was almost twice the size of his wife and his daughter combined.

Something Ran was very proud of. She smiled happily thinking of how jealous all the other girls were of her awesome father.

�You�re smiling.�

�Dad is awesome,� she said in between bites. After she cleaned up the plate, she rushed out of the house, with a cheerful �I�m leaving!�

Dad is awesome because he eats a lot and is lazy, I guess?

quote:

�Be careful!� Miya shouted as her daughter slammed the door, �really now, she goes from being all sleepy to being hyper in less than half a breakfast.�

Every scene should end with one character commenting on what just happened in that scene.

quote:

Ran rushed down the stairs of the building and, after shouting a good morning to the old lady cleaning the lobby, left it with a spring on her stride. It was a beautiful day. She looked up, and the sun was filtering nicely through the canopy of vegetation covering the dome. The city was nestled snugly on the side of a mountain, and the dome covering it was well camouflaged under the plants that grew on top, mostly a genetically modified creeper plant that could run over the reinforced glass for many many kilometres. The light of the sun was always green under the dome.

But it�s not green. I wish I could see the sun outside one day, mom always says it is the most beautiful light in the world, and that she only realized it when she lost it.

The air was a bit cold, it always was. She adjusted her military green jacket and started her walk to school.

Since there's no quotes around 'I wish I could see the sun outside', I'm going to imagine it's the author addressing us. I wish you would get outside too, tropers.

quote:

The air was a bit cold, it always was. She adjusted her military green jacket and started her walk to school.

�Ara? A cat.�

The cat seemed as surprised to see her as she was at seeing it, it was jet black with bright and clever looking eyes.

�Good morning, black cat-sama.�

Ran smiled, and nodded to the cat as she continued her march. It wasn�t until a few seconds later that she stopped and realized something.

Did that cat nod back at me just now?

She looked back, but the cat was gone.

Ah well.

�Ran-chan!�

�Oh� Good morning, Sugi-chan!�

"[anime noises]" "[more anime noises]"

quote:

A girl with black hair and a round, happy face was waving at her. She was shorter than Ran, and given that she was not very tall to begin with, it put her definitely in the petite category. She looked almost too young to be a highschooler, something all her friends teased her with from time to time.

Tropers don't paint a picture with words so much as plainly describe the picture they want to paint.

quote:

�Good morning!� Sugi replied, smiling widely.

�Ooh, did you cut your hair again? It�s super short now!�

�Hehe, yes. I can�t help it, with the water restrictions it�s too hard to wash long hair without using up all the water.�

�Really, what do you do in the shower?� Ran tossed her hair around a bit, which was long enough to barely graze her shoulders, �I never have a problem washing it.�

�I don�t know. I guess it�s just too nice to be under the hot water to spend time messing with my hair.�

�Really now� Oh! You won�t believe it, I saw a black cat on my way here!�

�For real? Wow, that�s great! I wonder if he lives around here, it has been so long since I saw one last��

�We can go back after school and look for it!�

The schoolgirls talk exactly like each other and like their parents. This is the true horror of the post-apocalyptic world. For their own protection, everyone thinks alike. Not one thought is unique, and everyone thinks it's okay to not put any attribution in their dialogue.

quote:

They talked as they walked the grey streets. Much like their uniforms, the houses in the hidden city were built to last, but from cheap materials and with dull regularity. It was row after row of four storied buildings, and with the dim light that filtered down the dome they never looked cheerful. Yet every morning they passed close to the food growing quarters, the only place one could see any bright colours over the landscape at all. Unfortunately, access was so restricted that watching it from the distance was all they could do.

�It looks really nice today,� Ran commented.

They had stopped like every morning at the top of the small hill to look down at the farm. Rows of white lights reinforced the weaker sun that managed to filter down, and a few animals moved about in their very crowded pens.

�It�s such a waste, plants grow outside on their own, but here we can�t grow them without the special lights,� Ran sighed.

�It can�t be helped, Ran-chan. It�s too dangerous to go outside.�

�Yes, I know��

"Wait a second, Sugoi-Chan, I need to explain the worldbuilding our author came up with."

quote:

They arrived to school as the bell started ringing, just in time to run inside before the gates closed.

�Phew! Really now, I thought we wouldn�t make it!� Ran said as she huffed and puffed.

They both were slightly bent down and breathing heavily after the last sprint, and walked side by side giggling all the way inside until they were interrupted.

"Really now, we just made it!" They rushed in just as the bell was about to ring. They were almost late for class. If they had made it in after the bell had rung then they would have been late. They got through the doors with only a couple seconds to spare. "Really now," said the other girl that wasn't the first one, "we were almost late!" They started simultaneously gasping for breath and giggling until they started coughing and had to sit down. It was okay, though, because they weren't late. They had made it in just as the bell was about to ring. "I know, really now."

quote:

�Oh good morning.�

Ran and Sugi looked up, and their eyes opened wide when they saw who it was. Ran felt her cheeks warm up slightly at the sight of him.

�G-Good morning, Kokawa-kun!�

Nagataka� *Mental Sigh*

I don't know who Kokawa or Nagataka is, and if you want to know, gently caress you, we've got anime sounds to make.

quote:

�Good morning.� Sugi said, more composed and smiling widely.

�You always make it just in time, don�t you.�

Ran could only giggle, while Sugi carried the bulk of the conversation.

�It can�t be helped. How come you�re always so early?�

�Ah that�s easy, I just have to walk a few blocks. I suppose I have an unfair advantage, huh? What takes you so long to get here anyway?�

�We always stop to look at the farms from the top of the hill,� Sugi giggled slightly, �it�s so nice, there are so many colours there.�

�Yes, it is. But I don�t like it that much from up close, it really stinks in there, specially the pigs.�

�Ara? You have been inside?�

�Yes, my father took me for a visit once, when he was in charge of security in there. I haven�t been back since he transferred to the defence forces.�

Being annoyed about lovely dialogue gets boring so have a fun-fact: the author lives in New Zealand. I've always wondered if Aussie/Kiwi anime dorks are glad that they're closer to Japan than their American and European counterparts.

quote:

Ran hadn�t been able to speak a word so far.

What are you doing you stupid girl? You always clamp up like this! Really now, say something!

Ran�s imagination had taken a life of its own by then. She imagined herself calling Nagataka, and he looked so handsome when he turned around. With his brown hair parted in the middle, his sharp features and high cheekbones, the narrow brown eyes she so liked, and that smile. And maybe he wouldn�t just smile, but he would answer, and she would confess, and then� and then..

�Ara, that�s a shame, I could�ve asked you to sneak me in and take a look!� Sugi said.

�Haha, I suppose so. Hey, maybe I can ask my dad anyway.�

�Really? What do you say Ran? Want to sneak into the farm with Kokawa-kun?�

�Kyaaaaa! Noooo!�

NOOO I'M AN ANIMEEEE

Looking at the character bios, Nagataka is Kokawa, they're just first and last names. Who knows which is which, though. My bet is on whichever mangles the Japanese the most.

quote:

Nagataka and Sugi looked at her with complete surprise. Ran was trying to hide her blushed face behind her hands, and for all the shouting she was doing she sounded extremely happy. She stopped with the sudden realization that imagination had gotten the best of her.

�Wha�� Nagataka started saying.

�Ran-chan, what were you thinking?� Sugi echoed.

�Aya, nothing, nothing! Hahaha! ^_^;;�

oh my god gently caress you gently caress this gently caress tropers i'm done

# ¿ Oct 26, 2013 14:56

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Fuego Fish posted:

Describing an alarm clock as obstinate, stubborn, unyielding, persistent, or any other one-word synonyms for being an uncaring machine carrying out its duty is a ridiculously common occurrence in fiction.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they'd taken that part from somewhere else.

As far as I know they stole 'waking up to the start of the novel' from Pokemon and Chrono Trigger, which are not novels.

Let's keep going, at least to the end of Chapter 1. There are 81 chapters, so keep that in mind.

quote:

�Still, I�m not sure if my dad can do that, since� Oh dear, I suppose we better go to class!�

The hall was looking rather deserted, so they ran to the classroom. To their surprise, the class had not started yet. But less than a minute after them, the principal made it in, followed by a woman they had never seen before.

It was quite a contrast, the principal was a short, balding man in his late forties, wearing thick glasses and always in a very dull looking grey suit. The woman was much younger, mid twenties perhaps. She had the longest hair any of them had seen in a long time, almost reaching down to her waist, and it was of a dark pinkish red. Her high cheekbones and slightly narrow face had a profound sense of elegance, and her whole person radiated an aura of power that had the whole class enthralled. The girls were admiring her, the boys� Well, a few were experiencing a hormonal thunderstorm for the first time in their lives.

She was wearing a simple white blouse with a red knee-length skirt, and higher heels than was custom for anyone in that school. The red ribbon choker completed her attire, altogether not excessive but far more colourful than most.

New characters require two paragraphs minimum physical description. But...at least she's in her mid twenties? :unsmith:

She's the seasoned veteran, isn't she?

quote:

�Good morning everyone,� the principal spoke in his trademark monotone, but nobody was paying attention to him, �as you know, Ms. Shibata quit two months ago and you have had a substitute Maths teacher since. Well, from today on you�ll have a new permanent teacher, this is Miss Kokawa Hoshiko.�

'As you know', the greatest exposition tool.

quote:

�Welcome Kokawa-sensei,� the class answered.

�Hello everyone. I hope we will get along nicely!�

She smiled and the whole class erupted in noise, squees of delight from the girls, ooohs and aaaahs from the boys, and everyone telling everyone else what they thought and how crazy it was to have such a teacher.

Why are the girls excited enough to squee? I am legitimately upset to have to type squee like it's an actual word.

quote:

�Oi Nagataka, is that your older sister or your aunt or something? She�s such a babe!� One of the boys asked.

�What are you talking about Shiro, I don�t know her!� Nagataka replied, annoyed.

�Come on now, she looks a lot like you, and Kokawa��

�Tsk, how does that woman look like me? I can�t believe this.�

Try to say "Oi Nakataka" and make it sound like something a human would say.

quote:

The principal left them, and Hoshiko managed to calm everyone down by counting attendance. She smiled when she called Nagataka, which earned him a few comments and made him surprisingly unhappy, and then came Ran�s turn.

�Shimizu Ran.�

�Yes!�

Ran squirmed uncomfortably under the intense gaze of the teacher. A few of the students looked back at her, sitting in the last row, and a low murmur could be heard. Finally, Hoshiko spoke again.

�Please stay after class.�

�O� okay��

How did I get in trouble this time?

By the time classes were done, Ran had mentally exhausted herself trying to figure out what was going to happen. She was not the best student, but usually managed to pass most subjects. That, of course, didn�t stop her mind from racing ahead through a thousand different avenues.

God forbid we know what any of those avenues are. This story is written in Third Person :effort:

quote:

�I can�t believe I got detention from the teacher on the first day, really now��

I want to know what this person's deal with the phrase 'really now' is.

quote:

�Come on Ran-chan, maybe she just wants to talk about your score on the last test,� Sugi said, trying to cheer her friend up.

�Bu-uuuut!�

�Anyway, I�m going home, take care!�

�Ah! See you later, Sugi-chan!�

She spent a good ten minutes alone in the classroom waiting for her teacher to appear. Outside, the sun had already gone behind the cliff side, so it was getting rather dark. She looked up, and saw the pale green of the dome was still bright enough to see.

�It�s so nice� Oh!� She looked down at the grounds outside the school, �the black kitty is here. Hello black cat-sama!�

She was waving from the classroom, and she thought the cat had stopped to look at her, but was so far away, and the cat was so black, she could barely see it.

I'm not sure whether this is supposed to be Ren being a Manic Cloud Pixie Genki Dream Cuckoo Girl Lander Girl or if it's just so anime that waving at cats on the street is normal.

quote:

The door to the classroom slid open. She almost jumped out of her skin.

�Kokawa-sensei!�

�Have a seat, Ran,� Hoshiko answered, looking very serious, and with a voice that matched the mood.

Ran gulped.

�I�m sorry, Kokawa-sensei, really. I don�t know why I made you so angry, but��

�I�m not angry.�

�But��

�Sit down. I�m not angry, but there�s some important matters I need to discuss with you.�

�Okay.�

Are you ready for an action scene, guys?

quote:

Ran did not have a chance to sit down. When she grabbed the back of the chair, the whole school started trembling, amidst very loud crashing noises.

�Kyaaa! What�s happening?!� Ran shouted.

Hoshiko rushed to the window and looked outside, with a surprised and very tense expression. She immediately looked at her watch.

�It can�t be, it�s too early! And here!�

�Kokawa-sensei��

Ran joined her, and what she saw rendered her speechless. Two of the buildings by the school had been damaged, and a lot of debris was falling from the sky. She looked up and saw there was a huge hole in the dome, and pieces of it kept falling down.

Question - What's more devoid of effort, A: 'loud crashing noises', B: 'a surprised and very tense expression', or C: 'two of the buildings by the school had been damaged'?

quote:

From the rubble and the dust, a large humanoid figure stood up. It was like a twenty feet tall person, without the neck or the head. The skin was a bright metallic red, with several white stripes painted on top. Instead of a head, it had a glass half-sphere, and Ran couldn�t see what was inside under the mirror-like surface.

quote:

�Ran! Get back!� Hoshiko yelled as she dragged Ran away from the window, �don�t get near the window, and stay inside, no matter what, you understand?�

�Sensei, are you leaving��

�I�ll be back for you, stay here!�

The trashing outside the school continued, until she was no longer able to resist it and rushed to the window again. The army had already responded, and several ground vehicles and soldiers were surrounding the large monster. She shouted in surprise when the armoured vehicles opened fire, and after a few seconds the monster responded. It suddenly made a sweep with one of its arms, and several globes of energy launched from its open hand, crashing on the vehicles and the ground and exploding with great violence.

Answer - D: 'exploding with great violence'

quote:

�That�s enough!�

She didn�t quite recognize the voice, but it sounded familiar. She turned to the end of the building where the voice had come from, and saw there was someone standing on the roof. A tall woman, and Ran realized she could see her clearly, almost like she was glowing. She had beautiful golden blonde hair meticulously braided in a long braid that reached all the way to her waist, with a sparkling bracelet holding it together at the end. Her dress was of pure white, wrapping around her in a tight fitting zig-zag pattern like it was made of several sheets of silk weaved together. A large red jewel was clasped on her chest, looking as if it was holding everything together, and Ran could make out some reflections on the edges of the cloth, but was too far away to see it was threads of gold weaved through the ends in a beautiful swirling pattern. The dress hugged her curvaceous body tightly thanks to a wide leather and golden belt with silver studs that neatly fit her to perfection, and several long strips of leather hung from her belt, each studded with shiny silver studs and a red jewel at the end, weighting down the knee-long silky white skirt, also weaved with gold on the edges. Her feet wore leather Roman styled sandals, with straps wrapping her slender legs all the way to her knees, and held there with golden and silver bracelets. The sandals had each two small wings on the sides, and in her hand she was holding a branch of some sort.

If you need evidence that tropers only write because they can't make their own anime, refer to that paragraph.

quote:

Ran was hypnotized by her presence.

�Your evil scheme will not come to fruition, I did not come to this place to fail when victory is at hand. For Earth and her beloved people, I will destroy you!�

The monster responded by firing several energy blasts at her, but she jumped out of the way with ease.

Wow, what a jump!

Ran couldn�t quite see what happened next, because the blasts that were meant for the woman impacted the school instead, and the whole building trembled like it was going to fall apart. Things started dropping all over the place, and she couldn�t keep her balance, landing with the shower of debris and ending up under a pile of foam ceiling tiles.

Troper Writing Tip #1: If someone does something cool, be sure other people in the story comment on it.
Troper Writing Tip #2: If you're feeling tired of writing, just obscure your viewpoint character's view of the action. Now you can just say she can't see anything.

I hope Ren is careful. I've heard dropping things can explode with great violence. :ohdear:

quote:

When she got back to the window, she couldn�t believe her eyes. The monster had lost an arm, and the woman was standing at the top of a utility pole. And in her hand she no longer held a branch.

Is that a spear? Really, it is a spear! She�s amazing!

She pointed at the monster with her spear.

�This is the end for you! I��

She was interrupted after having to jump quickly out of the way when some more energy shots landed on the pole where she had been standing.

�Another monster?!�

Ran gasped in horror when she saw another identical monster jump down from the gaping hole in the dome and land on to the battlefield, followed by a shower of debris from the broken superstructure. It quickly engaged the woman, while the wounded one turned and started moving about the school grounds.

The fifty-foot monster bent down on one knee. "Grarrrrgh," it said. "Graarrr. Rragh?" In its giant fingers it held a crudely-rolled steel ring about a foot in diameter.

"Of course I will!" Sailor Literal Roman God Mercury gasped. Finally, she was engaged to a loving, fifty-foot metal fiancee.

quote:

�It�s not attacking her, what is he doing?�

Suddenly the one-armed monster snatched a the ground trying to grab something. And right where the hand was, something jumped out of the way. Black, and moving fast.

�Kitty! Oh no!�

For some reason the monster was trying to grab the black cat and, although it moved fast, the monster seemed to be getting closer to catch it.

�Poor kitty�� Ran�s expression turned sad and worried. She started remembering finding the cat in the morning, and how wonderful a surprise finding a cat had been. All she ever saw outside the protected farms were a few boring insects, the occasional very disgusting rat. That cat was a breath of fresh air. �No way, I�m really saving that cat!�

Without second thought, not giving her brain time to second-guess her stupidity, she turned and rushed downstairs. The trashing outside the building continued, and that reassured her that the cat had managed to avoid being squashed or captured. She slammed open the back door of the building and rushed outside.

I was going to joke about how dumb Ren is but the author made that joke, so I'm just going to focus on how dumb "No way, I'm really saving that cat!" is. Read it in your best Ash Ketchum voice for the full anime experience.

quote:

�Black cat-sama! Over here!�

That attracted the attention of both the cat and the monster.

Oh no, I wasn�t thinking! What do I�

She crouched down on the ground as the monster shot an energy ball at her, and it crashed on the building, blocking the exit with several tons of debris. The cat had come rushing towards her, and jumped on her arms. She grabbed it almost by instinct.

Run, run, run!

She was not the most fit person in the school. She tried to run, but the monster constantly blocked her way with its long arm. She didn�t stop to think that it could have squashed them both if it had wanted to, she was too scared to realize.

Finally she was cornered. The monster stood blocking her way, and Ran felt like she was being watched. From up close, she could make out there was something moving behind the glass of the half sphere that sat on the monster�s neck.

Is it some sort of robot?

She looked around. Amidst the debris of the school and the dome all she could find to grab a branch that was near her foot. It must have been a piece of the vine that covered the dome, she thought. Holding the cat with her left arm, she raised the branch towards the monster.

Really now, what can I do with this stick? This is ridiculous. But I don�t care! I�m not giving up!

The branch started glowing as soon as she had that thought. Soon the light engulfed her, and she felt as if time suddenly stood still.

And then Ren was eaten by the giant robot and everyone in the dome died, the end.

Haha no.

Are you ready for poo poo to get loving anime?

quote:

She was floating. She felt she was naked, but her body was immersed in the same glow and her skin itself felt as if made of light. A sudden wind came from beneath her, and her hair was sent flying up. It grew longer, longer, until finally, and with a flash, it changed its colour to a golden blonde, working itself into a long braid as the wind stopped and it fell on her back. The light wrapped around her body, and turned itself into a soft silken white short skirted toga. Its edges shone brightly, and the light curled itself into a wavy pattern that finally solidified into a golden thread adorning the edges of the fabric. She raised her hands, and a disc of light materialized just above them. It descended slowly, adjusting itself to the diameter of her body as it moved. The nails of her hands were painted pink, and over her wrists all the way to the elbow, a pair of golden bracers with a pattern of waves appeared, covering the outside of her forearm and wrapped with wide leather straps on the inside. As the disc of light descended, a mask appeared over her face. It was more of an armoured faceplate, of silver colour and with golden relieves. It started from a tiara, and along her cheeks two long narrow strips of metal protected her face, and over her nose was only a very thin strip of pure silver, it all offered little protection and covered almost nothing of her face, other than most of her forehead. The light touched her shoulders, and a shoulder mantle of deep red, almost brown rich velvet with a V neck and fluffy white fur along the edges joined up with her toga, and the same red appeared on a second skirt of lighter fabric that reached her knees. When the light finished at her feet, she was wearing Roman styled sandals with long straps reaching at her knees and golden greaves over her shins, them too with a wavy pattern on them. The sandals had little wings on the side, pure white and of real feathers. When the disc had passed her, it exploded in a million little lights, and they twirled and converged into stripes that launched on her body. From the waist, where they made a leather belt with a double hole buckle and pairs of holes rimmed in gold running along its length, then several more stripes of leather hung from it along its length, weighting down on the skirt. Up on her chest six stripes of metal ran like false ribs over her toga and under her shoulder mantle, assembling like a protective armour. A small rain of sparks fell on her, and as they touched the stripes of the belt they turned into so many tiny silver studs, plust a sparkling jewel at the end of each one, and on the edge of her red skirt into a white lace that ran the length of the skirt with minute regularity. Two pieces of lace broke off from the skirt, and tied themselves into perfect bows around her wrists over the bracers.

What bugs me the most is that she's got winged sandals despite clearly being Sailor Literal Roman God Neptune.

quote:

Words came into her head, and she spoke them without even thinking about their meaning.

�I carry the hopes and dreams of mankind, and that of the Earth who is their mother, hear my name now and despair. I am Nereida Nostrum!�

�Uh� Nostrum?�

�Yes! What came to mind was Nereida Mediterranea, but really now, it�s so long that I went for the Latin name of Mare Nostrum, and�� She suddenly stopped talking when she realized who she was talking to, �c-c-c-cat! A talking cat!!�

See what happens when you don't attribute your dialogue? You end up talking to a god drat cat without even knowing it.

quote:

The cat was looking at her with an obviously bored expression.

�Whatever,� he said nonchalantly, and looked ahead at the monster, �you have done well, Nereida Nostrum, but don�t get careless. You have to learn to use your powers if� Watch out!�

Oh boy, the cat is our Deadpan Jerk Crouching With Snarker Heart Loser rear end Hidden Gold Badass.

quote:

Ran grabbed the black cat and quickly jumped out of the way. She was astonished at her own speed, she had jumped a good five meters high from a standing position with little effort.

�Wow! What a jump!�

�Stay sharp!� The cat chided her, �for now think of the feeling when you were holding that branch, it will call forth your powers when you need them.�

�Sounds easy!�

�Concentrate! The feeling!�

Yikes!

�Yes, yes black cat-sama!�

I'm not cutting anything out. They just decided to only write one side of the fight scene for a bit.

quote:

She was still in the air when the monster turned and, with a sweep of its arm, threw a series of energy shots at Ran.

I can�t dodge! Oh no, what do I do! What� No, no, concentrate� Concentrate� Don�t give up!

Her left bracer started glowing, and when she saw it she quickly changed the arm she was holding the cat with, and put the bracer in front of her. With a flash, it transformed into a glowing round shield, with concentric wave patterns and a large bright red jewel in the centre. The energy shots impacted on it and exploded, sending her flying back onto the wall of the school, but otherwise unharmed.

When she landed on her feet, she was only short of breath.

�Nostrum, you have to finish this now. Use the branch!�

�Eh? But black cat-sama��

�It is your weapon, and the charm of your powers. Use it now! You can do it!�

Anime sounds are my weapon and the charm of my powers.

quote:

She left the cat on the ground and took two steps towards the monster.

Don�t give up, don�t give up. Something will happen, don�t give up!

She suddenly remembered the woman that was fighting the monsters before. She had a branch too, and when she looked that second time it was a spear.

It must have transformed! That�s it!

She raised the branch and thought of her resolve. Never give up. The branch glowed, and started to grow longer, and as it did, Ran turned it on the palm of her hand. One, two, three full circles before grasping it firmly and lowering it, grabbing the end with her left hand and the middle with her right, and pointing at the monster decisively.

�In the name of the Earth, by the spear of Gaia, I will kick your loving rear end!�

=O_O=;;

�Language!� The cat shouted.

gently caress you so much agghhhhhh

quote:

�Shut up and watch, I�m on a roll here!�

She felt absolutely hyper, the power was incredible. Without hesitation, she rushed forward, and as the monster tried to swat her with its arm, she jumped up high and right above its false head. There was definitely something under that glass, controlling the monster. It didn�t matter. She turned mid-air, pointed the spear down, and as the power in her exploded, she descended in a spiral of light, tearing through the flesh of the monster and cleaving it clean in half. She landed on the ground with a loud crash and throwing pieces of concrete all around her.

She felt really proud of herself as she walked out, with half her dress covered in the monster�s blood.

Troper Writing Tip #3: Be sure to make your protagonists overcome all their difficulties through inherent abilities that make them special and unique.

quote:

�Well done, Nostrum.�

�Thank you, black c� What is your name?�

�Hmph, you can simply call me Lord Kitteh.�

�Yay, kitteh!� She rushed and grabbed him, giving him a big hug.

�Oi oi, take it easy girl.�

They were interrupted by a sudden roar not far from where they were. The second monster, missing a leg and looking worse for wear, had suddenly taken flight with some sort of jetpack attached to its back.

�poo poo! We have to stop it or it�s over!� Kitteh shouted.

�What? How? Can I fly? How��

Oi is back, which means that Lord Kitteh is now voiced by Jason Statham.

Kitteh is another one of those words that makes me angry to have to type out.

quote:

Her answer came when a bolt of lightning suddenly shot from the ground and crashed on the back of the monster. The ensuing explosion was massive, and sent little bloody pieces of the monster all over the city, none of them bigger than a thumb.

Ran kept looking up at the spot where the explosion had happened with a shocked expression.

�Nostrum, heads down.�

�Kitteh?�

�LORD Kitteh dammit! Look.�

The woman had returned, and Ran realized it had been her who had destroyed the monster in such spectacular fashion. She was breathing heavily, both of them were. Ran�s legs felt suddenly wobbly, but even struggling she managed to stay upright.

"Oi ya fuckin oval office it's Lord Kitteh."

quote:

�What are you doing?� The woman asked.

�What? The same as you! I think��

Ran looked at the woman�s hand, and saw she was holding a branch, exactly like the one Ran herself was holding. She, however, had her eyes fixated on Ran. It was such an intense gaze Ran thought she�d suffocate.

�Why did you have to do this?�

Is she talking to me?

Ran could no longer see the face of the woman. Her legs were giving way, and the world was spinning all around her. She would have fallen down on her face if the woman hadn�t grabbed her.

�I thought I told you� Why did you do this?!�

You were the chosen anime!

quote:

No answer. Ran was unconscious.

�Why did you have to do this��

Her voice faltered, and she fell down on her knees holding Ran, while two timid tears made their way down her face. She put her arms protectively around Ran, and hugged her tightly, stifling her crying.

And on that baffling note, Chapter 1 ends.

Rating: Trope-horrific :v:

edit:

About Page posted:

Now, dropping the Ham for a moment; this is a NaNoWriMo project that started as a way to have some fun writing an Anime-esque piece without taking it too seriously.

NA NO WRI MO :argh:

Djeser fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Oct 27, 2013

# ¿ Oct 27, 2013 02:50

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Asgerd posted:

Why is it that there�s such an overlap between militaristic sci-fi and right-wing weirdoes? Maybe the final version of Endless Conflict will have a mustache-twirling, cackling villain boasting about his diabolical scheme to create an affordable healthcare system, before being gunned down by some sort of Anime Reagan.

Because they can wank over justified military might and dire circumstances? Also they are massive dorks so of course they want to write sci-fi. You can't have marines in fantasy settings so do sci-fi marines instead.

I was going to make some comment about how it's ironic to see the anime avatar next to lovely right-wing politics until I remembered, no, that's not ironic, that's exactly what I'd expect.

"The young, poor and uninsured" who vote Republican is :ironicat:

# ¿ Oct 27, 2013 23:04

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

It's weirder than just the idea that a fictional work is a world divorced from the author. They've got a whole fuckload of tropes about authors. Author Existence Failure (when an author dies), Creator Breakdown (when an author's personal troubles affect their work), Writer On Board (when a writer changes established traits to make a point), et cetera. The most telling, though, is Word of God. It's their name for when an author/creator says something to be taken as canon. As an easy example, J. K. Rowling's reveal that Dumbledore was gay was Word of God.

To them, writers are like gods, separate from but lording power over the worlds they create.

Djeser fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Oct 28, 2013

# ¿ Oct 28, 2013 02:51

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Let's figure this one out, one step at a time, with TV Tropes' help.

The Secret World posted:

An MMORPG from Funcom, makers of The Longest Journey, Anarchy Online, Age of Conan and several other games, released on July 3rd, 2012. The premise of The Secret World is that all conspiracies are true, and major clandestine organizations compete to take over the world, whilst keeping swarms of mythical creatures under wraps in the process. Players join up with one of three ancient conspiracies: the Templar, The Illuminati, or the Dragon, to fight in a secret war waged in the shadows of our world.

So a bunch of conspiracies and supernatural stuff. Okay, now for...

Cthulhutech posted:

Cthulhu Tech is a tabletop roleplaying game that can be described as Neon Genesis Evangelion and the Cthulhu Mythos put into a blender and set to "Speed Whip"

Oh for gently caress's sake

quote:

What starts off as a relatively standard Humongous Mecha premise, over the course of the series, gradually transforms into a dramatic character study rife with psychological analysis, religious references, genre deconstruction, social commentary, and exploration of themes such as societal alienation, depression, and the repressive pain of human subjectivity. Prior to Evangelion, people considered this approach unprecedented and revolutionary � and after Evangelion's runaway success, numerous other anime producers created shows with a similar approach (with varying degrees of success).

Okay, conspiracies and supernatural stuff, plus everyone's in big robots and everyone acts melodramatic.

And of course, the Cthulhu Mythos is tentacle things wearing fedoras and Discworld is goofy comedy fantasy that annoying nerds latch onto only slightly less frequently than Douglas Adams.

Dragonfable, for those who didn't have massive amounts of free time in the early 00's, is a flash RPG notable for being a badly drawn anime flash RPG.

So a bunch of conspiracies are going on, people are in giant robots, Cthulhu is there because he's a nerd magnet, everyone is smug and sarcastic, and this is all drawn really poorly with tons of gradients and terrible motion tweens.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2013 02:11

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

MrAristocrates posted:

The only thing there I had any experience with was Discworld, so I knew it was going to try to imitate Pratchett's style of fantasy parody, and almost certainly fail in a way that's insufferable to read. Even if they didn't, it would clash totally with all the awful grimdark that Cthulutech would bring.

So, in the end, it's exactly what I thought it would be from the initial description: a shallow attempt to imitate the successes of others in ways that are completely incompatible with one another.

As a rule, I trust no one who says that their work is inspired by Discworld or Hitchiker's Guide or Cthulhu. I'm sure there are people who have been legitimately inspired to do fine things on their own, but they're the sort of things that nerds like a lot and figure they can do really easily, but horror is hard, and humor is really hard.

Anyway, I noticed that Jabrosky wrote a couple of flash fiction pieces for 'The Write Anything Thread'. If you don't know who Jabrosky is, don't worry, as he has been in top Jabrosky form.
(Note that I'm not quoting the whole pieces here because Jabrosky is long-winded as hell.)

Jabrosky posted:

Bjorn tilted his head back as he ran his gaze up the city wall of Wasepata. He held a hand over his blue eyes to shield them from the white plaster's burning glow. Not even two elephants stacked up together could match the mudbrick structure's inhuman height, which exceeded every other manmade building Bjorn ever saw. Only the rows of woody thorns sprouting from the wall's front side, no doubt for support, convinced him that humans rather than gods built it. And this wasn't even supposed to be the grandest or most famous example of Nubadian architecture.

Yep, it's white dudes in ~~Africa~~ Nubadi!

Jabrosky posted:

"I am Bjorn, a Northman from the village of Wolfheart...well, before it got razed to the ground. Now I live as a vagrant, and I seek rest and food in your fine city. I'll not stay longer than a few days."

Sorry, he's not white, he's a Northman named Bjork who's blond and from the north.

Jabrosky posted:

Yet for all the Nubadians� incredulity towards him, Bjorn found them every bit as alien to himself. By and large these black-skinned people stretched tall and lean, the opposite of his husky white Northfolk. Many had woven their frizzy hair in braids or sculpted it into elaborate crests. Bright warm colors dazzled on the Nubadians� skirts, and gold and beads gleamed all over their necks and limbs. The richest jarl in all the Northlands could never adorn himself as these Nubadian commoners did.

Egypt is pretty much the exact same as sub-Saharan Africa, right?

Jabrosky posted:

The city itself glowed with the same radiance as the people who filled it. The mudbrick houses alone would dwarf any Northman�s stick hovel, to say nothing of the limestone obelisks, colossi, and temples that reached for the sky. Whether built from mud or rock, all these monuments wore murals and inscribed hieroglyphs all over their plaster. From the distant horizon rose the gold-capped peaks of bygone rulers� tombs. The Great Hall of Bjorn�s gods would disappear into insignificance if placed within Wasepata.

It's not racist if my African stereotypes are really cool!

That one is just an excerpt, so it kind of goes nowhere after Bjork feels bad about his tiny longhouse for a bit and meets generic merchant caricature and generic urchin caricature.

But then Jabrosky wrote a complete story! For certain definitions of 'complete' and 'story'. Let's see what

Jabrosky posted:

Holding a bronze mirror to her face, Sekhotep plowed an ivory comb through her hair. Over a season ago, only scattered peppercorn tufts remained once she shaved her head clean. Those tufts would soon grow into one thick black bush. That may have cushioned her scalp against her bed�s headrest or the many crowns she needed to wear as Pharaoh of Kemet, but dense woolly hair could also draw in swarms of head lice. Her comb must have caught hundreds of the tiny monsters by now judging from the dusty stuff between its teeth. Sekhotep grimaced from the thought.

Yep, black ~~Egyptian~~ ~~Nubadian~~ Kemetian chicks again.

Jabrosky posted:

�Preparing yourself for the hairdresser, Your Majesty?� Djadao, Sekhotep�s plump old Vizier, said as he waddled outside her boudoir.

Sekhotep put the comb and mirror down on a counter. �If only I didn�t have to keep him waiting so long, � Sekhotep said. �There�s no way I can get all the nits out of this jungle.�

First off, he's so short on names that he reused the merchant caricature's name. Second, either that's really unfortunate wording at the end there or it's...well, it's Jabrosky.

Jabrosky posted:

�I don�t know, but the good news is that I have found a substitute for the time being. You know the servant girl Zoe?�

Sekhotep knew she had employed a number of Greek servants at her palace grounds, but royalty like her couldn�t interrupt their many chores just to get to know them better. She shrugged. �What does she have to do with hairdressing?�

�She apparently has some skill at it, so I have entrusted her to take the job over.� Djadao�s weak smile reverted to a frown. �Is that all right with you, my liege?�

Sekhotep ran her fingers through her hair. �But she�s Greek! Greeks don�t have hair like our people do. She couldn�t possibly know how to style our kind of hair.�

�That�s what I thought at first too, but she claims to know a way around that. Speaking of whom, here she comes.�

Djadao left the boudoir to make way for a young olive-skinned girl who lugged with her a burning brazier. Firelight flickered on her raven hair�s loose curls which contrasted with the Pharaoh�s woolly bush.

Oh good, he's onto Greek stereotypes too. I figure he's ignoring the historical weirdness by saying 'well in my world Egypt and Greece were more contemporaneous'.

Jabrosky posted:

She grabbed the mirror and held it up to her face. Her hair, once a frizzy ball, now hung straight down where Zoe had combed it, covering Sekhotep�s neck and ears. Her deep brown face flushed one shade paler.

�You straightened my hair, � Sekhotep said. �You made my hair straight as a baboon�s!�

�I thought it would make it easier for me to work with, � Zoe said. She knelt on the ground before her Pharaoh and broke down into sobbing. Her cheeks now glistened as wet with tears as Sekhotep�s. �I am so sorry, my lady. Please have mercy on me!�

Sekhotep took in several deep sighs to quell her inner fury. No matter what Zoe may have done to her hair, seeing the young Greek servant girl so distressed speared her heart with sympathy.

�I�ll give you one chance to right your wrong, � Sekhotep said. She picked up a shaving knife from the boudoir�s counter. �Take it all off. Hopefully it�ll grow back woolly as ever.�

Jabrosky at top form. Protagonists without a shred of a flaw. Everyone agreeing that the protagonists are right. Really, really boring stories. And of loving course in the end the pharaoh gets to keep her afro. It's not like wealthy Egyptians often wore wigs. It's not like the hot comb was originally meant to emulate what people thought was an Egyptian style. Jabrosky read a couple articles about how Egyptians could be black so of course his Egyptian queen would want to have an afro.

Maybe it's because I'm an ancient history dork, but where most tropers just seem silly and harmless to me, Jabrosky makes me angry.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2013 03:00

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Apple Tree posted:

Ooh, the power to make things actually happen with your writing! That's gotta be a favourite with them. It's meta and flattering all at the same time, and it doesn't actually matter whether the writing's any good because it makes magic and that means it must have some kind of meaning!

Myst was a cool series with great lore and not even tropers can ruin Myst. :colbert:

Myst character sheet for Catherine posted:

Hot Mom

At least it's Catherine and not Yeesha. :unsmith:

# ¿ Nov 1, 2013 20:26

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Metal Loaf posted:

You know, I've just remembered something which I discovered between this thread and the previous one. I shall share it now. Behold The Stationery Voyagers. I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

That is a loving wormhole to a land of insanity and lovely Sims-based comics.

From what I can gather from the ridiculously extensive trope pages and the literal wiki this guy made for his works, it's someone who is about a 8.33 repeating with a plus or minus five percent on a scale of 1 to Ulililia.

(Note that this is all one guy. 'Dozerfleet' is his name for anything he does.)

Dozerfleet Productions posted:

Dozerfleet Productions is an independent entertainment think tank and warehouse founded on October 12th of 1994, receiving its current name on May 10th of 2006. It has several outlets for entertainment purposes, including a DeviantArt outlet. Showcases of Dozerfleet content are on AmIRight as well. Dozerfleet Productions also has DozerfleetWiki, The Dozerfleet Blog, and a few other major divisions.

Fact of the Month, November 2012 posted:

In October of 2006, it was predicted that the Dozerfleet founder's Facebook page had a greater likelihood of lasting long-term. It was assumed, however, that the MySpace page would also be around for a while. Instead, the latter only lasted three years total.

Fact of the Month, August 2013 posted:

Sodality: Battle for Metheel is the first major video game pitch for Dozerfleet Comics ever to have an article about its premise feature on DozerfleetWiki. While other thoughts did exist for a possible video game, none were taken that far prior. Around the same time, a second game premise was inceived; dubbed The Gerosha Chronicles: Centipede + 49.

Fact of the Month, May 2012: loving Batshit Edition posted:

The so-called "War on Women" that Nancy Pelosi speaks of is nothing more than a buzzword catchphrase for "anyone who opposes the modern-day worship of Moloch that abortion is." Michele Bachmann laughs this off below:

Rep. Bachmann: "There is no 'War on Women'!"

Note: There is...it's called advocating of Shariah law. But the Jihadists get a free pass for it. And then there's Pelosi defending the killing of unborn women.

DVD-Storybook-Hybrid Webcomic posted:

A DVD-Storybook-Hybrid Webcomic, or DSHW, is a special format of online comic, the term being coined by the founder of Dozerfleet on Friday, May 23rd of 2008 around 10:50 PM EDT. A few Dozerfleet works were created using the format. In 2013, further pursuit of the format was put on a shelf, as complications in its improvement and development came to a screeching halt in late 2012. Promotion of the format became even more complicated in April of 2013 with the announcement by DeviantArt of having teamed up with MadeFire to produce the MotionBook format, which was seen as more marketable.

DSHW Version 3 posted:

The planned third version of DSHW comes in two main flavors: Basic and Throwback. Specified along with automation options, there are a total of six children that make up the third generation of this format: DSHW-3-BA, DSHW-3-BS, DSHW-3-BM, DSHW-3-TA, DSHW-3-TS, and DSHW-3-TM. The BM and TM versions would be the most common, since the automation in BA and TA are for very special occasions where full DVD script behavior is desired. The BS and TS would also be rare as those semi-automatic versions are only beneficial for short slideshow DSHWs.

Note that what he's talking about is literally just a webcomic. Maybe with an autotimer to go to the next page.

He has 'history' pages detailing the history of his 'company'.

What's Hot This Year 1984 posted:

The Dozerfleet founder's first high school crush, Carly, was born on March 28th of 1984.

What's Hot This Year 1986 posted:

This is the earliest that the Dozerfleet founder can remember being allowed to watch The Empire Strikes Back on VHS. The brothers were hooked on Star Wars, watching the film repeatedly. The Dozerfleet founder began analyzing every scene that he could comprehend, and found himself both aspiring to one day make a movie as well as having a thing for critiquing film. He wished R2-D2 could have been real. And not understanding cauterization at the time, he found the bloodless amputation of Luke's hand "very unrealistic." A 3-year-old found the scene unrealistic. Other films were watched frequently back then on VHS, such as Charlotte's Web.

What's Hot This Year 1989 posted:

This was a brief move, as the new house wasn't ready yet; but the rent expired on the Kenosha house. A new rental house popped up soon thereafter. This year marked the beginning of the end of Ronald Regan's shining star. Virtually everything he did to save America was soon being undone by the RINO known as George H.W. Bush. However, the Dozerfleet founder was not politically aware in this year; other than being aware that the news media was completely obsessed with this thing called "global warming" that made no sense.

What's Hot This Year 1998 posted:

The new kids, with one girl in particular being a ringleader, lured several of the main class to a party. At said party, they passed around illegally-obtained cigarettes and encouraged the kids to smoke. In the case of some, they practically hazed/blackmailed them into trying it. Foolishly, but also out of rebellion for the school being "stupidly strict" about its enforcement of even the pettiest regulations, the kids decided to act out and accept the offer.

Carly was at the party briefly, but left before the smokes started being distributed. Nobody could prove that she'd ever done a single stick; but that didn't stop the other kids from holding a grudge against her for not being caught. Several of the others were caught, and the school was terrified of the bad press it would get if its enrolled students were to be found engaging in such behavior literally anywhere. So to "save face," it took the extreme measure of having every student that was caught smoking be suspended for a full week. The ringleader/mastermind students, all of them the new ones that the liberals wanted, were expelled on the spot, especially when they showed blatant disrespect for authority upon being caught.

What's Hot This Year 1999 posted:

As the end of school neared, she felt she needed to get it off her chest. Carly informed the Dozerfleet founder that she would not be returning to SML for the fall of 1999. After all they'd been through together, it shocked him that this would be it. In the days before Comcast Xfinity high-speed internet at the Grand Ledge House, there was only the 1995-purchased Compaq Presario. It had dial-up, and ran old-school CompuServe. That was pretty much it as far as Internet access. Carly herself didn't really have much in the way of web access either. There was no Facebook or MySpace or Pinterest or Google+. Cell phones were not ubiquitous. Long distance landline calls were a fortune. Though she was only 14-some miles away, she may as well have been moving to the moon.

[He decides to write a newsletter to her to stay in touch.]

The hopes behind this newsletter was that she'd be touched, and want to respond in kind by writing her own. She actually very seldom wrote back, causing the Dozerfleet founder to wonder what the heck was going on. However, he was stubborn about giving her benefit of the doubt; no matter how many others both at school and within his family wanted her dismissed entirely.

What's Hot This Year 1999 posted:

[He starts working at a grocery store and injures his leg while mowing the lawn.]

The lawn mower accident had repercussions outside of simply having to wear an unpleasant cast. The Dozerfleet founder was originally going to be starting work at Meijer in June. His start date was moved to July 19th because of the injury. While Doug and Cindy, the two main managers, were fairly understanding; Scott was a bit of a jerk about it. As the Dozerfleet founder was healing, he wanted to visit Carly in person.

His grandmother made him promise not to enter her house unless someone else was there. But he didn't think to ask her if she was alone or not over the phone because he feared that would sound weird.

Upon biking to her house, being careful not to rip any of the few-remaining stitches, he found she was alone, and standing around wearing a yellow bath robe. She offered to invite him in, but he decided against it because he didn't want to lie to his grandma.

They talked for a bit outside, but the mosquitoes were really think and began biting her. He decided to end their time together on the porch prematurely, since she was getting eaten alive and didn't appreciate his reluctance to step inside where it was safe.

He told his grandma how terrible it was to force Carly to have to get bitten; but the grandma didn't care. She was more worried that *someone* somewhere was going to start spreading rumors if the Dozerfleet founder went inside Carly's house. And that "mattered more" than the actual harm done by causing a girl to get eaten alive by mosquitoes. It was the first time he'd ever actually regretted listening to his grandma's advice.

What's Hot This Year 2000 posted:

When the Dozerfleet founder visited Carly in the summer of 2000, he asked her if she'd read the recent issue about the inception of Stationery Voyagers. She seemed confused. He walked away, convinced that she didn't care. After all, she wasn't even bothering to read Yo-Splaz! anymore. If she cared, she wouldn't be so clueless. Deep down, he cared about her, and always would. But it hurt too much to think about. So he tried to bury his feelings for her, and find someone else to care about. Purging his need for Carly would prove a fruitless exercise, however. The other girls at SML were not the innocent creatures that were advertised. There were constantly on the prowl, looking for bad boys that they could use. These girls had issues with their home lives, and wanted to act out by drinking and having sex without getting in trouble. The boys at SML, for the most part, were too squeaky clean for purposes of that agenda. And since the Dozerfleet founder was practically a Boy Scout compared to what they wanted, he stood no chance and had no credibility with them. The flirting process went nowhere, providing a constant source of frustration.

You hear that Carly? TRIVIAL :supaburn:

What's Hot This Year 2001 posted:

[He starts getting feelings for a friend's sister.]

Taking its name from two different inspirations, Dolphinformia became the replacement newsletter for Yo-Splaz!. This time around, a simplified version of the former was being mailed and addressed to Emily, as the Dozerfleet founder hoped that this second love would stand a better chance than the first one.

Emily wrote back more often than Carly did, but still wrote back only sparingly and gave out very few details.

The two sources for its name were "Every Other Time" by LFO and the The Patriot Post, which featured a section dubbed "Dezinformatsia."

# ¿ Nov 5, 2013 09:50

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Dozerfleet is fascinating in an outsider art kind of way, like Prophet Royal or something. Does it still count as outsider art if supposedly, he's gone to school for video design?

His time at college was pretty much about what you'd expect from a hyperconservative spergbot.

Crouching Foreign Film, Hidden Sick Mind posted:

It was supposed to be "Topics in Film Animation." But FILM 203, held on Thursdays from 6:10-9PM in the TLC basement, turned out to be anything but what the class description read. There was no discussion of keyframing. There was no discussion of the art of framerates. There was no discussion of visual style; no practice runs with CGI, nothing of the class description. Instead, it was "Let's watch live action films made in other countries, and give our opinions of them." Often times, that meant watching the most pointless, pornographic pieces of trash that the teacher could manage to find at a local video store. And he somehow managed to include an actual assignment in the class towards its end, just so it could still be called a class.

If not for the fact that it was an easy A, the Dozerfleet founder would have dropped that class entirely. It was a sad, sick joke from beginning to end. Making it worse, his input was almost always being shot down by the freaks and weirdos in class. The morbidly obese, goth-dressed, pink-haired, marijuana-stenched, God-hating societal outcasts got to set the agenda. And they were rude about it too. The teacher had nothing to say most of the time, and just plopped the movie in and had everyone watch as a way to keep everything under wraps.

The opening film for this semester smorgasbord of crap was a deceptively benign-by-comparison film: Run Lola Run. Warning signs started with the following week, where the class got to view Once Were Warriors.

The Ring runs rings around expectations posted:

Not but a week after getting the idea to write 90 Has No Secant, the Dozerfleet founder attended FILM 203 class and was told he'd be watching The Ring. Some of the strange kids sitting in the back of class cheered, and wondered "how?" They knew about the upcoming movie. The Dozerfleet founder hadn't heard. The teacher then explained that his class would be watching the Japanese version.

It was okay. Not great. As soon as the Dozerfleet founder was able, he went out to the theaters and saw the Dreamworks version, so as to be able to compare the two for class. He was briefly dragged into the fandom for that movie, discovering that unfortunately, he was among the few conservatives that found anything to like about it. Most of the fandom, it turned out, consisted of very intolerant liberals, most of whom were on marijuana.

The mood, direction, and music of Dreamworks' Ring provided the Dozerfleet founder with a template to follow when developing 90. He sought to create the same atmosphere for the book. As he would discover in 2009, however, much of The Ring took inspiration in turn from Hitchcock. So it made more sense to go to the real source for inspiration, by watching some Hitchcock classics.

Alternate thread title: TvTropes Pleads the Fifth: "The fandom consisted of liberals, most of whom were on marijuana."

What's Hot This Year March 2003 posted:

On March 26th, news emerged of a new case being decided in Texas courts: Lawrence vs. Texas. The idea of it was that the new judges on Texas' supreme court were going to decide that Belgian pop culture customs were more important than the constitution - or even the common sense need for the nation to have a moral compass! That was SEDITION! Yet, nobody, least of all Gee-Dubbya, was all that intent on holding those judges accountable for sedition.

The decision would, if approved, result in the law in Texas concerning the nature of sodomy being completely reversed. It would, due to technicalities in law in other states, also render those states' laws against the diabolical practice effectively null. It was a transparent effort to provide the Crooked Rainbow with a stepping stone, one from which they would launch an attack on the sanctity of marriage, the rights of business owners to disagree with them, the rights of churches to stick to reality, and more. It was a full frontal assault on basic human decency, and would lead to the 2012 pride parades featuring pornography being solicited by Crookeds to small children as well as blatant public lewd conduct and nudity, with lesbian police captains refusing to enforce laws against it.

When warned that such lawlessness was the Crookeds' plan all along, liberals shrugged off conservatives' concerns as a slippery slope "fallacy." Two things wrong with that comeback: 1) It wasn't so much a "slippery slope" as it was diving straight off a cliff. 2) It's not a fallacy if it's already happened. And in Europe, it already had. And in 2012, it happened in America. The Dozerfleet founder started pointing this out way ahead of many others, including talk radio. But he was ignored as a "paranoid extremist."

Alternate alternate thread title: "It's not a fallacy if it's already happened."

What's Hot This Year January 2004 posted:

ARTS 132 [Figure Drawing] was taken again. It did only so-so last time taken, so this repeat was an attempt to at least get a C. Alas, results were the same. At least this time, the class got spoiled once and was allowed to draw a young woman, rather than the blobs, hags, and creepy old guys that were usually the models.

What's Hot This Year August 2004 posted:

OADM 275: Student Diversity Basics, began on Wednesday, August 25th of 2004. It met from 1:10-4:00PM in Old Central 140. Most of it was mindless propaganda and indoctrination into multiculturalism.

What's Hot This Year March 2005 posted:

It was bound to happen, and then it did. After the Dozerfleet founder posted a thread to the Ring Forum concerning the weapons of Saddam's that made their way into Syria, which the mainstream media admitted to in 2012, long after the damage had been done, the uber-leftist admins decided they'd had enough. The Dozerfleet founder would have to get his fix of Ring trivia somewhere else. But good riddance. No more throwing pearls before those swine.

What's Hot This Year December 2005 posted:

The gift-giving
Friday, December 23rd, 2005

On December 23rd, Dana's gift was prepared and ready-transported to her. It was one of the first times that a CD package of its sort would ever be produced as a final product of what would soon be renamed Dozerfleet Productions. Her present included an Aflac duck - the same Aflac duck that was used for ARTS 151. Her package also included her favorite candy bar of the time: Carmello.

The falling-out
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

Too surprised to say anything the day she received it, her ingratitude was all-too-clear on December 28th. A phone call to her place to see if all was well ended with her spouting insults and condescension, going so far as to call the gift "creepy" just because Tina Nares was based on her. She claimed that he could still e-mail her, but only to the Yahoo account that she only ever checked once in a blue moon at the library downtown. She stated over the phone that she wouldn't let him write or call her-or else. He tried to be courteous, but she only went on and on with her power trip. She even bragged about how she "didn't need the likes of him" once she started her job at Polo Ralph Lauren. When he told her she filled a void in his life, she replied: "Fill it yourself!"

Outraged by her disrespect and ingratitude, and not taking kindly to her threats, the Dozerfleet founder dropped her like a hot potato. It would damage his confidence for quite a long time. On November 5th of 2006, when they had contact again, he threw his anger and pain right back at her, stopping just short of telling her exactly where she could stick it. He even told her to throw out her present. It was too good for her. There was no response, but it's safe to assume she didn't keep it.

This man is a fractal trainwreck. Every time you move in closer to see what's going on, each detail is as bizarre as the whole.

e:

IvanRider's (his user account) User Page posted:

Trivia: I'm an advocate of Young-Earth Biblical Creationism.

Of course

Djeser fucked around with this message at 15:37 on Nov 9, 2013

# ¿ Nov 9, 2013 15:31

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Channel Awesome is just a magnet for nerd drama in general, I guess. I tried saying I liked one set of reviews on another site and twenty people called me an idiot because the person who did those said something that got someone else in trouble one time.

So considering that crossed with TV Tropes, yeah, there's probably no way you could hope to get it removed. Maybe try a different tack, and request to have it locked? Then you can satisfy tropers' inherent need for categorization while keeping people from actively trying to stalk you.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2013 02:37

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Smoking Crow posted:

quote:
Yeah, the reputation of TVT is low, now stop trying to make up for it.

"Yeah, people call us obsessed with rape and boobs and think we're a useless site with a terrible community that fosters lovely writing and pedophile apologetics.

Now stop trying to make up for it."

# ¿ Nov 12, 2013 08:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 9, 2024 11:47

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Internet reviewing is a job, and just like a job in the business world, you have no recourse if someone is harassing you. Sexual harassment suits are thrown out all the time because the plaintiff was "rude".

# ¿ Nov 12, 2013 08:45

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > TV Trops

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