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Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it.


poo poo that I come across daily that pisses me off: having to go through hundreds of posts in a ticket came in because we merged threads.

gently caress PRINTERS

Paladine_PSoT fucked around with this message at Sep 25, 2013 around 21:22

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skipdogg
Nov 29, 2004
Resident SRT-4 Expert


Welcome back thread

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


I really hate when users call and don't bother to call you when "it's already fixed". gently caress off with your bogus calls because you are too retarded to plug in a cable or click that icon on your desktop, I can forgive you for being bad with computers, but if you realize your mistake don't make me walk all the way to you for nothing while I have 5 other calls open.

namol
Mar 21, 2007


F5 BigIP iApps can all go die in a fire. Every single one I've come across have all left out some detail that is needed to provide functionality to whatever you're trying to load balance/reverse proxy etc. Lync 2013 for example it left out the port 80 portion of the reverse proxy that is needed for mobile clients and also didn't assign the ssl certificates for the edge server. Good work douchebags.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Hey Yay! I missed you thread.

poo poo pissing me off: SMEs who are not experts and don't know their subject matter at all.

In this case the "SME" is a guy whose complete knowledge set about an application is that "When you click X, Y happens. If it doesn't, uh, reboot?" and you are trying to put together a migration plan but aren't allowed to, you know, actually access the servers themselves.

This application apparently has been a black box to everyone involved with it since the original guy who set it up left a few years back. I am actually impressed by the robustness of his setup though. The poo poo has basically been running in unattended mode for three years and it's been running merrily along...

I, however, am hosed. More.

TWBalls
Apr 16, 2003
My medication never lies

Paladine_PSoT posted:

poo poo that I come across daily that pisses me off: having to go through hundreds of posts in a ticket came in because we merged threads if I miss a day.

I love you for this thread.

Contribute:
Dumbassery from co-worker continues. Still having to clean up his messes. I'm going to be talking to the director again and tell him that this will be the last time I speak to him about it. If things do not change soon, I will be going up the chain.

Tickets with little to no info. Look, users, we put ptouch labels on all of our systems with computer names. The least you can do is provide the name to help narrow down which system is having the issue. Also, if you're having slowness issues, letting us know which programs you're accessing would be nice. Asking us if we're having issues with "the server" is a waste of everyone's time. We have nearly a hundred servers here on site and the main data center has thousands. You need to tell me what program is slow that way I can see if it's local or remote. If it's remote, I can contact the team responsible and see what the problem is. Don't cry to me that you're too busy. Do you bitch and moan when you go to the doctors office and they have you fill out forms, then when you finally see the doctor and he asks you to tell them your symptoms? Same thing here. We're not mind readers. Help us help you.

COOL CORN
Jun 1, 2003

-.-. .... .. .-.. .-..


Buglord

SEKCobra posted:

I have 5 other calls open.

Oh ho ho ho, that's cute... 5 calls... oh dear me...

I work helpdesk for a municipality with 80 different sites around the City and well over 3000 users. And there are 3 of us.

Ibsen
Jun 20, 2006
I am Not.

Does your paycheck correspond accordingly then?

mpyro
Feb 9, 2003

'Cause I live and breathe this Fillydelphia freedom


Printers. gently caress printers!

COOL CORN
Jun 1, 2003

-.-. .... .. .-.. .-..


Buglord

Ibsen posted:

Does your paycheck correspond accordingly then?

Nope. About 10k below median household income for my state.

... But I'm certainly working on getting out of this situation. I'm about to take the first CCNP test, and I'm one test away from an MCSA, along with a few other certifications under my belt. I don't need to be in helpdesk anymore!

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

Oh thank god. I didn't want to rub elbows with those grimy people who deal with "tickets" that "come in".

Pissing me off:
MSSQL SSIS Import from CSV.

Need to import a csv of customers and orders from a turnkey ecommerce solution. No problem! Let's just make an SSIS package for that bad boy. Too bad I have to:
- Add a semi-colon to every line because SSIS can't seem to figure out CR/LF, CR, or LF
- Track down what the gently caress encoding the file is in (Swedish??)
- Manually specify the data type and length for every single column because some data gets bigger past the 250 row 'preview' range
- Do this over and over and over again mixing and matching settings because the SSIS wizard will forget your settings every time you press back/next.

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



Can we get "gently caress printers" added to the OP please? THIS IS AFFECTING PRODUCTION!

incoherent
Apr 24, 2004

01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010


mpyro posted:

Printers. gently caress printers!

WHERE THE gently caress IS MY PAPERLESS OFFICE

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Scaramouche posted:

Oh thank god. I didn't want to rub elbows with those grimy people who deal with "tickets" that "come in".

Pissing me off:
MSSQL SSIS Import from CSV.

Need to import a csv of customers and orders from a turnkey ecommerce solution. No problem! Let's just make an SSIS package for that bad boy. Too bad I have to:
- Add a semi-colon to every line because SSIS can't seem to figure out CR/LF, CR, or LF
- Track down what the gently caress encoding the file is in (Swedish??)
- Manually specify the data type and length for every single column because some data gets bigger past the 250 row 'preview' range
- Do this over and over and over again mixing and matching settings because the SSIS wizard will forget your settings every time you press back/next.

Hah hah ha. I feel your pain, brother. Iterating over the definitions makes me nuts as well. Especially when, like you said, data goes bonkers after your preview limit (I thought it 1,000 rows, though).

You try to keep whitespace to a minimum by keeping column widths narrow, but after so many attempts varchar(50) gets pretty loving appealing.

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

Oooo, is this allowed and stuff and the powers that be aren't going to get pissy and close it?
(Yay not feeling like everything needs to be changed to 'uh... a person came in'.. it was worth it for the puppy though)


I see your printers and raise you label printers.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

GargleBlaster posted:

I see your printers and raise you label printers.

Thermal printers. Over serial.

incoherent
Apr 24, 2004

01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010


Get out...of my head.

...on a systems critical windows 2000 machine. MFG is out of business. Driver disk is a cd-r.

Which has diskrot.

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it.


GargleBlaster posted:

Oooo, is this allowed and stuff and the powers that be aren't going to get pissy and close it?
(Yay not feeling like everything needs to be changed to 'uh... a person came in'.. it was worth it for the puppy though)


I see your printers and raise you label printers.

I still don't know what happened to the puppy.

Also I didn't ask, really. I just made it because that thread was out of control.

COOL CORN
Jun 1, 2003

-.-. .... .. .-.. .-..


Buglord

Scaramouche posted:

Thermal printers. Over serial.

Over a second hand no-name USB-to-serial adapter

IamJacksAlcoholism
Apr 29, 2013

Liquor ipsum dolor sit amet golden dream stolichnaya; jose cuervo ballantine, brandy manhattan! General sherman ramos gin fizz blue hawaii. Glendronach myers grog pisco sour ketel one kamikaze bananarita oban glen keith dufftown. Negroni montgomery, murphy's cuba libre rum swizzle. Vodka martini

Thank Christ someone split this poo poo back out!

poo poo that pisses me off: Merging 2 very active threads!

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



incoherent posted:

WHERE THE gently caress IS MY PAPERLESS OFFICE

Only thing worse than printers is lovely attempts to implement paperless offices.

Last one I got involved with:

- Users that are barely computer literate
- Scanners are already hosed because they keep putting stapled paper through it, scratching the glass strip on the read head.
- Massive data entry pools where people just type in poo poo from paper in an intray and move it to an outtray.
- Too cheap to go with dual monitors, "can't they just alt+tab between the image and the database"
- Most monitors are 17" 1280x1024
- Default build image set to 1024x768
- Users complain things are too small if you set the monitor to native
- Users complain that the images are blurry in the viewing app
- Manager has dual 26" 1920x1200 TFTs, one vertical, and it works fine for him, therefore it must be fine for everyone else

Dead Cow
Nov 3, 2009

Passion makes the world go round.
Love just makes it a safer place.


MEETINGS!

Especially ones where someone could have just emailed me a loving question.

I could answer that while I'm smoking instead of sitting in a room staring at people wishing I could be smoking.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Lum posted:

Only thing worse than printers is lovely attempts to implement paperless offices.

My first exposure to a horribly broken attempt at a paperless office and document management was based around a foxpro database. The loving thing was so horribly broken that they designers' concept of scalability of the database was to add another USB disk to the back of the server that was dedicated to the foxpro DB files. After a while of using this shitpile the disk filled up so they bought a second disk and just redirected links to there for newer data. Then that disk filled up so they added a third, but realized that the server only had two USB ports so they bought a hub for "limitless expandability!" If a disk failed? "We are really sorry about your data loss. I'm sure there are really good data recovery companies out there somewhere!"

USB hubs with disks attached. They go all the way down.

teethgrinder
Oct 9, 2002



Grimey Drawer

incoherent posted:

WHERE THE gently caress IS MY PAPERLESS OFFICE
I used to imagine this was going to happen when the boomers died off ... but gently caress, my peers are just as incompetent at technology.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

People who leave a voicemail saying "Call me" or "I have a quick question." Just tell me what you want in the message, you dumbshits. You don't have to keep your message below five seconds.

Dilbert As FUCK
Sep 8, 2007

by Cowcaster


Pillbug

People who can't figure out changing "top priority" or "most important" tickets on me hourly does NOT help me do my work any faster.

"Hey Dilbert, did you fix Z yet?"
"Well you assigned me W, X, Y and said start working on this immediately!!! So I needed to work on those, especially with the CALL CLIENT W ASAP"
"You really need to do Z as a top priority"

GargleBlaster
Mar 17, 2008

Stupid Narutard

As long as people print emails, there will never be a paperless office.

Until some form of tablet/reader is just as perfectly light and easy to hold, read and flick through as paper, people will always print emails. (and other stuff they want to read, show people etc). In fact it also needs to be just as easy to "show others" a document as giving handouts in a meeting, really.

Ursine Asylum
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


GargleBlaster posted:

As long as people print emails, there will never be a paperless office.

Until some form of tablet/reader is just as perfectly light and easy to hold, read and flick through as paper, people will always print emails. (and other stuff they want to read, show people etc). In fact it also needs to be just as easy to "show others" a document as giving handouts in a meeting, really.

While emails don't exist for me outside of my computer/pad/phone, I don't know if I'll ever be able to give up the feeling of pen on paper for notes and design sketchwork, and iPad styluses just aren't there yet.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"


I'm not even an IT guy, I just work in a small office but I'm the most computery so I'm the "IT" department most of the time, I'm not even a loving mac guy. But printers, a million times printers. If you could put every computer problem I've ever had on any system over the course of my entire life, and the very idea of "printers" on the other side, printers would win every loving time. gently caress printers.

A printer we had on our tiny 5 computer and a server network that worked fine for years suddenly stopped. After the entire office worked for nearly a whole day to get it working again we called some loving "mac pros" over and even they couldn't fix it. Apparently the latest mac OS isn't compatible with the printer driver if it's on a network, so now we have to load what we want printed on a USB stick and take it over to the computer that's hooked up to the printer. Our computers can all see the printer, we can even print to it sometimes, but can't access any options.

My poor boss probably wasted a solid 3 full days of work time loving around with it or on hold with various tech support places trying to fix it. It absolutely boggles my mind how the entire world of printers is such a poo poo-show. There's ALWAYS something. There's always some epson driver update that suddenly deletes all your presets, or tells you you're out of gloss optimizer when you don't even have a printer that has it. Or suddenly every time you print it's "incorrect paper source setting" or some gently caress up that takes hours of research, driver updates, driver roll-backs, and tech support calls to fix.

And then there's all the inadvisable and time-wasting things your poor boss tries in desperation to fix the problem

I'd hate to be tech support for a printer company.

Siochain
May 24, 2005

"can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."




Dick Trauma posted:

People who leave a voicemail saying "Call me" or "I have a quick question." Just tell me what you want in the message, you dumbshits. You don't have to keep your message below five seconds.

People who ignore the voicemail message I leave them telling them the extremely easy fix for their self-induced problem. 3 clicks and you're fixed...or 30 minutes of wasting my time on the phone ignoring me before I spend 20 minutes trying to remote into your system to initiate the original 3-click fix.

gently caress.

Swink
Apr 18, 2006
Left Side <--- Many Whelps

Dick Trauma posted:

People who leave a voicemail saying "Call me" or "I have a quick question." Just tell me what you want in the message, you dumbshits. You don't have to keep your message below five seconds.

Not to mention the length of time it takes to retrieve a voicemail from our ancient phone system. 7 keypresses.

Tab8715
May 20, 2006



Can't use any software that's not already on your machine. Open Source software is a security and legal liability.

No notepad++ for you.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


Through a quirk of organization, I'm currently reporting to the manager of a remote team. This isn't so bad in and of itself, but he just absolutely does not want to talk through communicator or emails. "Hey, I have a question about this Frobnitz issue you talked about in an email, can I call you?" Just send a goddamned email...

Of course, I go into one of the phone booth rooms to call him, because he IS currently my boss...

Dilbert As FUCK
Sep 8, 2007

by Cowcaster


Pillbug

I think my area of working pisses me off the most, the area I work in has such a Military attitude(which part of VA doesn't have this?) pisses me off the most.

"No Dilbert BRAND X Software/Hardware works this way and it is the only software deemable for any enterprise environment. I know this because I worked with it in the military/government job."
"But Y does it faster, better, and more effective; Also using this method we cut down 50% of the resources needed"
"Well I won't do that because $personal_reasons$ that I have, besides you are young I have done it this way for X"

I guess I don't get the "I am too proud to say I don't know" or "Maybe you are right let me look into that" something but poo poo come on!

Dilbert As FUCK fucked around with this message at Sep 26, 2013 around 00:46

anthonypants
May 6, 2007



Dinosaur Gum

Tab8715 posted:

Can't use any software that's not already on your machine. Open Source software is a security and legal liability.

No notepad++ for you.
Notepad++ doesn't require an install, and can be run from a network drive or a thumb drive

Urit
Oct 22, 2010


poo poo that pisses me off: people that don't understand the term "Front-loaded development." Look, I know you want something done next week, but I can do it in a day if I spend two days to set the tools up properly, instead of trying to brute-force my way through code with notepad for a week. Then they set up meetings to try to "call me" on how I'm not delivering results, pushing it back even further. Woop!

Lum
Aug 13, 2003



Tab8715 posted:

Can't use any software that's not already on your machine. Open Source software is a security and legal liability.

No notepad++ for you.

I'll sell you a commercial licence for my product NotepadPlusPlus - it's exactly like Notepad++ only a different name in the titlebar, and the source code is really deeply buried on my website and that site doesn't contain any of those open source icons or links to sourceforge.

A snip at 99.99, currently on sale from its usual price of 299.99.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006

HYPER-THREADING


Instead of using Microsoft Visio, which I've used for years and is kind of the standard diagram/flowchart program, I'm forced to use SmartDraw, which my boss bought because it was $199 instead of $299 for Visio. Cheap gently caress.

Bonus points for having to RDP into a Pentium 4 with 1GB of RAM running Windows XP because he only wants to buy one license and there are like 20 people who use it. UUUGGGGHHH

Swink
Apr 18, 2006
Left Side <--- Many Whelps

Bob Morales posted:

Instead of using Microsoft Visio, which I've used for years and is kind of the standard diagram/flowchart program, I'm forced to use SmartDraw, which my boss bought because it was $199 instead of $299 for Visio. Cheap gently caress.

Bonus points for having to RDP into a Pentium 4 with 1GB of RAM running Windows XP because he only wants to buy one license and there are like 20 people who use it. UUUGGGGHHH

Smartdraw is terrible. It's just bad software that is terrible to use and even worse to manage.

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Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006

HYPER-THREADING


Swink posted:

Smartdraw is terrible. It's just bad software that is terrible to use and even worse to manage.

I swear every loving program we use is the cheap Kmart poo poo version of something that's better.

We have this hilarious Bolden-James address book program to have a company-wide address book in Outlook (because we don't use Exchange...yet)

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