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Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006

HYPER-THREADING


quote:

- It's silly and stupid for users to change any default settings, even down to the wallpaper, because they'll just have to be changed again after the inevitable reimage. "Learn to love the defaults."

I'm okay with this one. Last two places I worked had us lock down the wallpaper, etc it was nice.

Every default changed is one more thing that can go wrong. Not to mention having to work on someones computer with a pink desktop theme, unreadable fonts, and those Windows 98 rainforest sounds/mouse cursors

X works, but it works with the default image.

Our timeclock software is a pile of poo poo and if you turn your font size in windows to 200% the tables don't show right so you can't see the whole time of a punch in/out

"why is my program broken"

Because it was written in 1995 and you cranked your fonts way up

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Japanese Dating Sim
Nov 12, 2003

hehe

Lipstick Apathy

sfwarlock posted:

No, think less commercial product and more little utility of questionable value.

Is he doing things command-line with ImageX? That'd explain why "it doesn't work anymore with Windows 10."

Super Slash
Feb 20, 2006

You rang ?

sfwarlock posted:

- On that note, it is bad and dangerous to use "the Googles" to look up errors, because people who do that just click on the first link and blindly do whatever it says. "You need to think for yourself, son. If the Googles said to throw the computer into the lake, would you do that?"
I'm actually hoping el greybeardo has a crusty tome sealed away in his cloister of solitude acting as a knowledgebase of sorts detailing crappy incorrect fixes, right next to the rack of anointed oils and sacred scrolls of MS-DOS for workgroups.

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech, my love of anime, and why I'll never see a real girl naked.


sfwarlock posted:


No, think less commercial product and more little utility of questionable value.


dd?

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002



dd is a useful utility and you know it.

It's xcopy, isn't it.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Grimey Drawer

sfwarlock posted:

No, think less commercial product and more little utility of questionable value.

Methylethylaldehyde
Oct 23, 2004

BAKA BAKA


Volmarias posted:

dd is a useful utility and you know it.

It's xcopy, isn't it.

My guess would be sysprep, but that's actually super useful and just about mandatory for imaging last time I did it.

Some kind of boot CD like the ubcd4win creator that last worked when Windows XP was still a thing, all to do something like partmon to blank the drive for imaging.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless you, ants. Blants.




Fun Shoe

I going with PartedMagic or FOG

Bigass Moth
Mar 6, 2004

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...


If Googles told me to throw a computer in the lake then bygod that computer is going for a swim.

Flipperwaldt
Nov 11, 2011

Won't somebody think of the starving hamsters in China?



I'm putting my money on nLite. Something like that anyway.

The Iron Rose
May 12, 2012

ASK ME ABOUT BEING A NEO-LIBERAL DEATH CULT APOLOGIST!


We use Fog and DeployStudio, both of which are perfectly fine. Fog's a bit feature light, though.

God I can't wait until we get SCCM up and running.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Bigass Moth posted:

If Googles told me to throw a computer in the lake then bygod that computer is going for a swim.

This one got me inappropriately furious.

"I never learned how to use the world's largest knowledge base, so the whole thing is garbage and anybody who uses it is an idiot. There can't possibly be an effective way to use Googles because I can't figure it out."

*Is then wrong about 90% of the poo poo he does that he could have Googled for the correct answer

Japanese Dating Sim
Nov 12, 2003

hehe

Lipstick Apathy

Having to politely explain to this user on his second day that his request is is very low priority compared to building-wide issues and other people that are, frankly, more important, and that his incessant nagging is not doing him any favors in getting his request granted quickly.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006

HYPER-THREADING


Someone wanted some changes made to the layout of a printed check. Refused to put a helpdesk ticket in with the changes he wants drawn up.

"Why doesn't any other department require a ticket to do something I ask?"

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech, my love of anime, and why I'll never see a real girl naked.


Bob Morales posted:

Someone wanted some changes made to the layout of a printed check. Refused to put a helpdesk ticket in with the changes he wants drawn up.

"Why doesn't any other department require a ticket to do something I ask?"



It's my strong opinion that ticketing systems should be used for any type of job where there are requests and outcomes. Hell, I'd set up JIRA in my house for chores if I had kids.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Grimey Drawer

Remember when Tony entered a ticket into my system for bringing chairs to a conference room?

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006

HYPER-THREADING


Helpdesk guy got personally offended

"Do I need to fill out a form with HR if I want to get a raise?"

"Do i need to fill out a form with my manager if I want vacation?"

"Do I have to fill out a form with accoutning if I want a check cut?"

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Bob Morales posted:

Helpdesk guy got personally offended

"Do I need to fill out a form with HR if I want to get a raise?"

"Do i need to fill out a form with my manager if I want vacation?"

"Do I have to fill out a form with accoutning if I want a check cut?"



hahaha fuuuuuck
that's the guy you want to fire, right? I'd say loosen that leash a bit, let the problem work itself out when he sasses the wrong person.

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE


Bob Morales posted:

Helpdesk guy got personally offended

"Do I need to fill out a form with HR if I want to get a raise?"

"Do i need to fill out a form with my manager if I want vacation?"

"Do I have to fill out a form with accoutning if I want a check cut?"



I have to answer yes to all 3 of those:

1) I have to fill out my review form if I want a raise
2) We use a WFM program that I have to fill out a request to get time off approved
3) I have to fill out an expense report if I want to be reimbursed for anything

SeaborneClink
Aug 27, 2010

MAWP... MAWP!


Bob Morales posted:

"Do I have to fill out a form with accoutning if I want a check cut?"
No need, you just did. We'll mail you your personal effects by EOD tomorrow.

Avenging_Mikon
May 25, 2010

Service Desk Bunny
How can I help you?


Basic work flow for us at the help desk for issues beyond our personal scope:

1. create ticket
2. assign ticket to in-scope group
3. receive notification the ticket has been resolved.
4. close ticket (this step sends an automated email to the client of the ticket)

Well, we'd closed a ticket and the client wasn't happy with the resolution, and emailed us telling us "This ticket should not be closed until a verified resolution has been provided. Please reopen my ticket and request a satisfactory or verified resolution for this issue."

I emailed her back saying it was completely retarded to expect us to verify every ticket has been resolved since so much of the stuff involves fiddly poo poo that we haven't been trained on. I phrased it more politely than that. If I get any pushback on it though, I'm going to threaten to apply that standard to the tickets her department resolves (they get the second-most number of tickets of any department).

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post


Neito posted:

It's my strong opinion that ticketing systems should be used for any type of job where there are requests and outcomes. Hell, I'd set up JIRA in my house for chores if I had kids.

you're a genius

ChubbyThePhat
Dec 22, 2006



sfwarlock posted:

- On that note, it is bad and dangerous to use "the Googles" to look up errors, because people who do that just click on the first link and blindly do whatever it says. "You need to think for yourself, son. If the Googles said to throw the computer into the lake, would you do that?"


Yes

The Fool
Oct 16, 2003



Of course I would throw my computer in the lake if Google told me too. Because if it did, that means it's achieved sentience and I need to immediately appease the AI overlord.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


tactlessbastard posted:

you're a genius

How often do you close 'clean your room' as unresolved before ticket metrics get brought up with your kids?

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006

HYPER-THREADING


Judge Schnoopy posted:

hahaha fuuuuuck
that's the guy you want to fire, right? I'd say loosen that leash a bit, let the problem work itself out when he sasses the wrong person.

No that's the other new guy. He's pointing out that you do fill out a form in requests to other departments, not just IT

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Bob Morales posted:

No that's the other new guy. He's pointing out that you do fill out a form in requests to other departments, not just IT

Oh I get what he's saying. But I couldn't imagine taking that kind of sass to other employees, even if they're lower on my org chart.

Johnny Aztec
Jan 29, 2005


Judge Schnoopy posted:

Oh I get what he's saying. But I couldn't imagine taking that kind of sass to other employees, even if they're lower on my org chart.



In other news, I find the Windows sniping tool so goddamn amazing everytime I use it.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

22 Eargesplitten
Oct 10, 2010
I'm conducting an experiment to see if removing your shitty avatar will improve your shitty taste in black metal

Johnny Aztec posted:

In other news, I find the Windows sniping tool so goddamn amazing everytime I use it.



So did Oswald.

Elizabethan Error
May 18, 2006



Johnny Aztec posted:

In other news, I find the Windows sniping tool so goddamn amazing everytime I use it.


you're not on a new page though

Antioch
Apr 18, 2003


Grimey Drawer

Elizabethan Error posted:

you're not on a new page though

Screw the Snipping Tool, Greenshot is where it's at. Tie that poo poo to Print Screen and it's got extra keyboard shortcuts for region, window, fullscreen, IE window....

Sickening
Jul 15, 2007

Black Summer was the best summer.

Holy gently caress...

Please don't tell me palo alto virtual routers with an external interface and an internal interface don't need some kind of static route for them to access the internet. If this is true then I have been chasing my tail for hours.





poo poo doesn't make sense. Palo Alto wtf.

Sickening fucked around with this message at Aug 22, 2017 around 20:43

Elizabethan Error
May 18, 2006



Antioch posted:

Screw the Snipping Tool, Greenshot is where it's at. Tie that poo poo to Print Screen and it's got extra keyboard shortcuts for region, window, fullscreen, IE window....
http://i.imgur.com/6qbvS37.gifv

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007


The new things I learned today from Marvin Graystache:

- Putting the BIOS installer on a thumbdrive is a great way to spread viruses. He would prefer to burn it to a CD-RW and use an external USB cd drive he carries around* except that then it isn't "always the latest and greatest, direct from" the manufacturer. For the same reason, the installer shall not go on the network drive.

(*: He really does this. So he doesn't spread viruses. And he bitches about how "Microsoft took away" CD drives "so you have to use flash drives.")

- Copying a file is different from moving it in terms of how the file arrives. If you want to make sure it arrives correctly at the destination, you must never move - copy first then manually delete if desired. Otherwise it might arrive corrupted.

- A user stated that she did not get a mail she was supposed to get. He told her that "setting up any rules in Outlook can cause you to lose mail" and deleted all of her 20+ rules. While continuing to repeat himself in a louder voice, cutting her off every time she said something.

(The actual issue, as discovered by me hunting down someone who did get the mail: she was left off the list of recipients.)

- (Really an extension of something I learned yesterday.) If you're plugged in to a LAN cable, you have a "constant, steady" connection. If you're on the wifi, every time your computer wants to do a thing, it "makes a call to the server", which naturally takes longer.

- SSDs do not count as hard drives. They are SSDs, which are completely different.

- In terms of image quality, VGA = DVI = Displayport = HDMI. It doesn't matter what you pick, as long as the computer(/docking station) and monitor both have the right port.

- In terms of terminology, "VGA" is a generic term for any sort of display cable.

- If you push hard enough, a flathead bit can do the job of a Torx.

- This one I don't even know that I understand well enough to relay it. We started talking about Linux, and I think this is what he claimed:

-- Linux is "like DOS", that is, it's just a command line, you have to buy and install Windows over it if you want a GUI, sort of like how Windows 98 and earlier could run in "pure" DOS mode. (Which is almost sort of kind of one way to describe it but "buy"? And buy Windows? )

-- If "the Linux company" wants to succeed, Linux must be made to look and function just like Windows, including making all the Windows software work on it.



Another hint about that small utility: it's something else Microsoft "took away" (he was smart, you see, and put it on his CD, except then Microsoft made it so it doesn't work anymore, which is the explanation for anything going wrong with an image ever. because he can't run his beloved utility to "fix up" the image so there won't be problems.)

EDIT: As you can probably tell, he talks about Microsoft the way some people talk about "the gubbermint!".

sfwarlock fucked around with this message at Aug 23, 2017 around 01:45

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



I mean I know it sucks for you personally, but I for one am glad you have this job. So you can keep posting content like this.

18 Character Limit
Apr 6, 2007

Screw you, Abed;
I can fix this!


Nap Ghost

sfwarlock posted:

The new things I learned today from Marvin Graystache:

- Putting the BIOS installer on a thumbdrive is a great way to spread viruses. He would prefer to burn it to a CD-RW and use an external USB cd drive he carries around* except that then it isn't "always the latest and greatest, direct from" the manufacturer. For the same reason, the installer shall not go on the network drive.

(*: He really does this. So he doesn't spread viruses. And he bitches about how "Microsoft took away" CD drives "so you have to use flash drives.")

- Copying a file is different from moving it in terms of how the file arrives. If you want to make sure it arrives correctly at the destination, you must never move - copy first then manually delete if desired. Otherwise it might arrive corrupted.

- A user stated that she did not get a mail she was supposed to get. He told her that "setting up any rules in Outlook can cause you to lose mail" and deleted all of her 20+ rules. While continuing to repeat himself in a louder voice, cutting her off every time she said something.

(The actual issue, as discovered by me hunting down someone who did get the mail: she was left off the list of recipients.)

- (Really an extension of something I learned yesterday.) If you're plugged in to a LAN cable, you have a "constant, steady" connection. If you're on the wifi, every time your computer wants to do a thing, it "makes a call to the server", which naturally takes longer.

- SSDs do not count as hard drives. They are SSDs, which are completely different.

- In terms of image quality, VGA = DVI = Displayport = HDMI. It doesn't matter what you pick, as long as the computer(/docking station) and monitor both have the right port.

- In terms of terminology, "VGA" is a generic term for any sort of display cable.

- If you push hard enough, a flathead bit can do the job of a Torx.

- This one I don't even know that I understand well enough to relay it. We started talking about Linux, and I think this is what he claimed:

-- Linux is "like DOS", that is, it's just a command line, you have to buy and install Windows over it if you want a GUI, sort of like how Windows 98 and earlier could run in "pure" DOS mode. (Which is almost sort of kind of one way to describe it but "buy"? And buy Windows? )

-- If "the Linux company" wants to succeed, Linux must be made to look and function just like Windows, including making all the Windows software work on it.



Another hint about that small utility: it's something else Microsoft "took away" (he was smart, you see, and put it on his CD, except then Microsoft made it so it doesn't work anymore, which is the explanation for anything going wrong with an image ever. because he can't run his beloved utility to "fix up" the image so there won't be problems.)

EDIT: As you can probably tell, he talks about Microsoft the way some people talk about "the gubbermint!".

These stories are gold. Please never stop posting them.

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Except for all the trigger warnings in every post.

quote:

- If you push hard enough, a flathead bit can do the job of a Torx.

Japanese Dating Sim
Nov 12, 2003

hehe

Lipstick Apathy

Seriously what the gently caress is with him and the BIOS.

Japanese Dating Sim
Nov 12, 2003

hehe

Lipstick Apathy

sfwarlock posted:

Another hint about that small utility: it's something else Microsoft "took away" (he was smart, you see, and put it on his CD, except then Microsoft made it so it doesn't work anymore, which is the explanation for anything going wrong with an image ever. because he can't run his beloved utility to "fix up" the image so there won't be problems.)

BDD? I'm kinda lost now.

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Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

sfwarlock posted:

Another hint about that small utility: it's something else Microsoft "took away" (he was smart, you see, and put it on his CD, except then Microsoft made it so it doesn't work anymore, which is the explanation for anything going wrong with an image ever. because he can't run his beloved utility to "fix up" the image so there won't be problems.)

please tell me this is either USMT or it's GUI brother Easy Transfer

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