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KillHour
Oct 28, 2007






I only hire red team pen testers because they're used to working without documentation.

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Jerk McJerkface
Jan 16, 2004

LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX



Soiled Meat

If I get told one more time that an extremely important tool that is necessary for functionality is "documented" because it lives in git repo, I'm going to reach through teams and strangle whomever tells me that.

First of all, which git repo is it on? We have three. Also how am I supposed to search for it? Is it your teams project group? Is it in the specific customer project? Is it in the support teams project?

I'm going to have a stroke.

Jeoh
Jul 20, 2010




Don't worry, Git is the documentation, and all the commits are variations of "quick fix" and thousands of LOC

BallerBallerDillz
Jun 10, 2009

Cock, Rules, Everything, Around, Me


Scratchmo

The Fool posted:

I do infrastructure automation, why are you asking me to troubleshoot your maven build.



gently caress me, I'm dealing with the same bullshit. I'm supposed to be helping teams modernize their CICD pipelines and end up spending all my time trying to teach java devs how to use either maven or gradle. I don't loving know?? I'm happy to help you write a Dockerfile that doesn't produce a 2gig mess with 25+ layers. Let's get your pipelines to run in under 90 minutes, sure. But drat you're supposed to be the java expert, you've never packaged your code before?

joebuddah
Jan 30, 2005


Documentation is very important. Especially with iot devices.

Please for the love of Whiskey.

All you need to put in the folder

The pdf manual and a spreadsheet with the device name and IP, and it's physical location
Anything else is appricated.

Signed the guy who has to figure all this stuff today

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



I hate when we have training days, because the computer training room is in our office, so our office door is open to anyone.

Random Dr: *Hello*

Me: Yes?

"I can't put any orders in. You need to fix it for me."

I don't touch any of our EMR stuff. Can you put a ticket in?

"Can you put one in for me?"

*sigh*

"Have him meet me tomorrow at 9:00am over in the adolescent area"

Yea, EMR guy is working from home so that's not going to happen. What's your phone number?

*creates ticket*

Bob Morales fucked around with this message at 17:22 on May 4, 2021

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Bob Morales posted:

Can you put a ticket in?

"Can you put one in for me?"

Nothing on this earth pisses me off more than this. Mother fucker I have no info on what your problem is, me creating a ticket does nothing!

Hughmoris
Apr 21, 2007
Let's go to the abyss!

Bob Morales posted:

I hate when we have training days, because the computer training room is in our office, so our office door is open to anyone.

Random Dr: *Hello*

Me: Yes?

"I can't put any orders in. You need to fix it for me."

I don't touch any of our EMR stuff. Can you put a ticket in?

"Can you put one in for me?"

*sigh*

"Have him meet me tomorrow at 9:00am over in the adolescent area"

Yea, EMR guy is working from home so that's not going to happen. What's your phone number?

*creates ticket*



Physicians are the worst. $Job-2 had me on the EMR team that supported physicians. Glad to be off that and back to supporting my people (i.e. nurses).

Jerk McJerkface
Jan 16, 2004

LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX LINUX



Soiled Meat

Kyrosiris posted:

Nothing on this earth pisses me off more than this. Mother fucker I have no info on what your problem is, me creating a ticket does nothing!

I won't do it. I'm always getting asked to open tickets for people. No, I won't. I'm not your ephemeral helpdesk.

Polio Vax Scene
Apr 5, 2009




Kyrosiris posted:

Nothing on this earth pisses me off more than this. Mother fucker I have no info on what your problem is, me creating a ticket does nothing!

push back and when they finally sigh and begrudgingly put in their own ticket the ticket contents is "i cant do my thing please help".

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



Same guy came in here a couple weeks ago with a new doctor saying she never got any passwords etc etc. Beating our door down.

Sorry bro. Put a ticket in and we'll get that all set up for you. Because guess what I don't put new users in the system.

Manager said "Hey you handled that pretty good."

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Polio Vax Scene posted:

push back and when they finally sigh and begrudgingly put in their own ticket the ticket contents is "i cant do my thing please help".

But that isn't ~empathy to the customer's sense of urgency~.

That is pretty much all the tickets I have to make for people consist of, though. A very undescriptive title (usually "Ticket created at $USER request") and a body along the lines of "Per phone call at $TIME we have created ticket for $USER. Priority and title will be adjusted once $USER has provided meaningful information regarding their issue" and that at least has upper management off my rear end.

Rooted Vegetable
Jun 1, 2002



zokie posted:

Apparently a lot of Dell notebooks have some lovely fan that needs to be replaced. .

Which ones? My new work laptop blows constantly when connected to it's dock.

Internet Explorer
Jun 1, 2005


Rooted Vegetable posted:

Which ones? My new work laptop blows constantly when connected to it's dock.

Lid closed? Open it. Modern laptops use the chassis as a heatsink and also exhaust through the keys. Closing the lid reduces thermal capacity. If you're using wireless, that will work better too as the antenna is in the lid.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



Internet Explorer posted:

Modern laptops use the chassis as a heatsink and also exhaust through the keys.

The first part of this isn't true. Not even for something that's all-metal like a MacBook. The only part that's a heatsink is the heatpipes that fans blow air across.

CollegeCop
Jul 11, 2005

You're right. I'm not a real cop. Those are imaginary handcuffs. And in a minute, we'll be going to the make-believe jail.

Polio Vax Scene posted:

push back and when they finally sigh and begrudgingly put in their own ticket the ticket contents is "i cant do my thing please help".

"This is the ticket you wanted for that issue we discussed"

The 'discussion' consisted of you mentioning as I walked by your desk last week that you were having "problems" with system x.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



We have these devices on our network and they changed IP addresses on us...the vendor isn't able to fix the problem so we asked for their server IP addresses so we could whitelist them in our firewall. Basically they couldn't connect because they weren't in the IP address group they were in originally.

I filled out a ticket asking for their server addresses so we could whitelist them, hoping to avoid this issue in the future.

Support person emailed me back with the internal IP Addresses of our devices.

I wrote back trying to clear up what I wanted. I get this as a response:

quote:

Hi Bob!

Below is the information our CTO gave me that should get you what you were wanting.

Source and Destination IPs of all hosts involved in the solution:
Our server and Dashboard are hosted on Private Space and itís configured with a default trusted IP range of 0.0.0.0/0which will admit traffic from the entire internet.

Below are IP ranges.
CIDR - 10.0.0.0/16

All ports involved with the solution. - Port 80 (HTTP) and Port 443 (HTTPS). All the web traffic will be through TLS(HTTP over TLS with port 443) and TCP.


Thanks

KillHour
Oct 28, 2007






Obviously you just need to insert an allow all at the top of your firewall rules.

Internet Explorer
Jun 1, 2005


Bob Morales posted:

The first part of this isn't true. Not even for something that's all-metal like a MacBook. The only part that's a heatsink is the heatpipes that fans blow air across.

Sorry, that was poorly worded. I don't mean to say that it's an integrated part of the CPU heatsink. I mean that it is used to radiate heat out of the laptop itself. Either way, closing your laptop lid does have a significant impact on thermals these days.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



Internet Explorer posted:

Sorry, that was poorly worded. I don't mean to say that it's an integrated part of the CPU heatsink. I mean that it is used to radiate heat out of the laptop itself. Either way, closing your laptop lid does have a significant impact on thermals these days.

I don't know about any particular PC laptops but the Mac's suck air in from the sides and kick it out the back. There are people on MacRumors who seem to think their Mac breathes through the keyboard!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Rooted Vegetable
Jun 1, 2002



Internet Explorer posted:

Lid closed? Open it. Modern laptops use the chassis as a heatsink and also exhaust through the keys. Closing the lid reduces thermal capacity. If you're using wireless, that will work better too as the antenna is in the lid.

This'll sound ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than other stories in this thread... My desk is built in such a way that I cannot easily open the lid.

I'm using the closed laptop as a light duty table too.

GreenBuckanneer
Sep 15, 2007




Bob Morales posted:

We have these devices on our network and they changed IP addresses on us...the vendor isn't able to fix the problem so we asked for their server IP addresses so we could whitelist them in our firewall. Basically they couldn't connect because they weren't in the IP address group they were in originally.

I filled out a ticket asking for their server addresses so we could whitelist them, hoping to avoid this issue in the future.

Support person emailed me back with the internal IP Addresses of our devices.

I wrote back trying to clear up what I wanted. I get this as a response:

Sounds like baby's first program.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post


Fun Shoe

Rooted Vegetable posted:

This'll sound ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than other stories in this thread... My desk is built in such a way that I cannot easily open the lid.

I'm using the closed laptop as a light duty table too.

Same here. If my thinkpad was open I wouldn't have room on my desk for my headset and glasses case.

E: it would also interfere with sight lines to either my monitors, inbox, or desk phone

GI_Clutch
Aug 22, 2000
Where is he? Where's who? Your leader! He's...to the east. Thanks for the infor...MATION!




Dinosaur Gum

gently caress opening tickets for people. A customer emails me about something months or even a week after a project I was on closed? They get a reply telling them to email the help desk at [address]. Even if forwarding it wouldn't open a ticket in my name, I don't think I'd do that for them. Maybe I'm just jaded after sixteen years, but policies and support contracts exist for a reason.

I'm working on a number of change requests for one of our biggest customers right now. Something completely unrelated to my projects occurs? Better include me on the emails in case I have the answer! It could be the customer PM, one of their contractors, it doesn't matter. Our help desk is trying to get them to knock that poo poo off, but we'll see. They even send me invites to unrelated meetings as if I'm going to show up to something I can't bill against.

We have another trouble customer who loves to leave T&M projects open as long as possible just in case they want to make one last tweak. There's one that I haven't logged against in months. Now they want to meet to see if there are ways to improve the user experience. They are asking for about the sixth time if they can perform the function with a right-click (versus a button in the ribbon) so that the action is performed where they clicked rather than at a predefined location. The answer (like every other time this has come up) is no. I am going to tell them to post that suggestion to the software vendor's Ideas section where customers/resellers can post production suggestions which users can vote on. I hope they ask me if I can post it for them so I can tell them, sure, but I'll need to bill that to the project.

regulargonzalez
Aug 18, 2006
UNGH LET ME LICK THOSE BOOTS DADDY HULU YES YES GIVE ME ALL THE CORPORATE CUMMIES ADBLOCK USERS DESERVE THE DEATH PENALTY, DON'T THEY DADDY?
WHEN THE RICH GET RICHER I GET HORNIER


Hearing about someone who is truly passionate about their job always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



Aruba support, try #3 at joining a mobility controller back to the cluster

They can't get it online. They keep telling us there's a loop on our switch. Haven't changed a thing. Been down a month. How hard is to copy the config from the existing controller to a spare?

4 minutes past my window but I'm going to give them until 12:30am so I don't have to deal with this anymore

Cenodoxus
Mar 29, 2012

while [[ true ]] ; do
    pour()
done

BallerBallerDillz posted:

gently caress me, I'm dealing with the same bullshit. I'm supposed to be helping teams modernize their CICD pipelines and end up spending all my time trying to teach java devs how to use either maven or gradle. I don't loving know?? I'm happy to help you write a Dockerfile that doesn't produce a 2gig mess with 25+ layers. Let's get your pipelines to run in under 90 minutes, sure. But drat you're supposed to be the java expert, you've never packaged your code before?

I feel like most people who do Java development at large enterprises become accustomed to committing their code to some Git/SVN/whatever repo and washing their hands of it, and some other team deals with the packaging/distribution.

BallerBallerDillz posted:

2gig mess with 25+ layers

Don't threaten a Java developer with a good time.

Seriously though. I've been trying to reverse/re-engineer a very simplistic and ancient web API that does Basic HTTP authentication against one of our enterprise platforms. The entire process of "take Authorization header, decode credentials, resolve address of the domain, send authentication request to system" goes through at least 10 classes and 4 different repos full of horribly abstracted monstrosities like EnterpriseDomainAuthenticationFactoryConstructorFactory.java.

gently caress Java.

Biowarfare
Nov 8, 2010

I JUST WISH THIS WAS A PONY SO I COULD JERK IT WHILE I PLAY WOW

Cenodoxus posted:

Seriously though. I've been trying to reverse/re-engineer a very simplistic and ancient web API that does Basic HTTP authentication against one of our enterprise platforms. The entire process of "take Authorization header, decode credentials, resolve address of the domain, send authentication request to system" goes through at least 10 classes and 4 different repos full of horribly abstracted monstrosities like EnterpriseDomainAuthenticationFactoryConstructorFactory.java.

When i was an intern i built a microservice in java to interact with another one - it only used mTLS and a bearer token for auth, nothing else.

in code review I was asked why I didn't abstract out authn and make pluggable authenticators in case they wanted to switch out the bearer token for basic auth, or kerberos tickets. It's not even running in an environment which can allow for kerberos access.

The Iron Rose
May 12, 2012

Cat Army


oh my god, i have now spent three and a half hours on a friday trying to migrate from a gcs state backend to terraform cloud

every time i try to use a prefix it treats it like an empty string, which obviously fucks everything up and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

klosterdev
Oct 10, 2006

Na na na na na na na na Batman!

ofc our phone provider is suddenly having softphone authentication issue on a Friday afternoon

I just automatically assume at this point any weird Friday afternoon outage was caused by somebody rushing a change into prod because they really wanted to go home/on vacation.

GI_Clutch
Aug 22, 2000
Where is he? Where's who? Your leader! He's...to the east. Thanks for the infor...MATION!




Dinosaur Gum

Well, we ran into a really nasty issue system testing something that was supposed to be deployed into UAT by EOB today. I guess I'll submit a ticket to the software vendor to see if they have any ideas, and then wait four business days for a response because their support has been ridiculously behind for the past year. Oh wait, no I won't. I can't select the customer from the support ticket dropdown because they are four months behind on their software maintenance with the vendor, lol. Good times. At least if we have to delay UAT we can give the customer some of the blame.

Number_6
Jul 23, 2006

BAN ALL GAS GUZZLERS

(except for mine)


Pillbug

Why does Google Reviews have such a lovely implementation for users? (I'm talking about while web browsing on a PC). It's just so much worse than the interface for Amazon reviews, or even Yelp or Best Buy reviews.

Google reviews are constrained inside an arbitrary little box, so you can only see a few at a time. There's no option to toggle that into a full-screen, page-style view. You can't even navigate through the reviews by pages of results, instead the interface uses the straight-from-hell "endless scrolling" method of navigating ---which will take a thousand years if there are a large number of reviews.

You can't see a detailed distribution of the reviews (the specific count of 1-star, 2-star, 3-star, etc.). You can't search within the reviews for a user-specified keyword or phrase. There's no dedicated "Google Reviews" home page where I can search for businesses by name or distance from a location, or change any options like the number of results to display, etc.

It's almost total poo poo, for purposes of doing any serious research on a product or a business. Doesn't anyone notice?

Rooted Vegetable
Jun 1, 2002



Number_6 posted:

... Google Reviews ....

It's almost total poo poo, for purposes of doing any serious research on a product or a business. Doesn't anyone notice?

That one answers itself.

Blue Moonlight
Apr 28, 2005
Bitter and Sarcastic

Number_6 posted:

Why does Google Reviews have such a lovely implementation for users? (I'm talking about while web browsing on a PC). It's just so much worse than the interface for Amazon reviews, or even Yelp or Best Buy reviews.

Google reviews are constrained inside an arbitrary little box, so you can only see a few at a time. There's no option to toggle that into a full-screen, page-style view. You can't even navigate through the reviews by pages of results, instead the interface uses the straight-from-hell "endless scrolling" method of navigating ---which will take a thousand years if there are a large number of reviews.

You can't see a detailed distribution of the reviews (the specific count of 1-star, 2-star, 3-star, etc.). You can't search within the reviews for a user-specified keyword or phrase. There's no dedicated "Google Reviews" home page where I can search for businesses by name or distance from a location, or change any options like the number of results to display, etc.

It's almost total poo poo, for purposes of doing any serious research on a product or a business. Doesn't anyone notice?

That interface is just there to justify the data collection. Youíre not really whoís meant to consume it.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.


Not pissing me off:

For a vanity project I built an IIS-based SQL-hosted WordPress site that could handle tens of thousands of concurrent users when it was decently scaled. It was really engaging to make all the different plugins work together on MSSQL and making sure every component in the architecture scaled properly, while at the same time translating Apache to IIS and Linux to Windows.

Why? I desperately needed a win and decided Iíd create the win on my own while engaging my basic delight in infrastructure work. Itís been a while since I just Stood Up A Thing. And building a scalable SQL Server pool behind a load balancer was fun, too.

Sometimes a nerdís gotta nerd.

The Fool
Oct 16, 2003



Agrikk posted:

Not pissing me off:

For a vanity project I built an IIS-based SQL-hosted WordPress site that could handle tens of thousands of concurrent users when it was decently scaled. It was really engaging to make all the different plugins work together on MSSQL and making sure every component in the architecture scaled properly, while at the same time translating Apache to IIS and Linux to Windows.

Why? I desperately needed a win and decided Iíd create the win on my own while engaging my basic delight in infrastructure work. Itís been a while since I just Stood Up A Thing. And building a scalable SQL Server pool behind a load balancer was fun, too.

Sometimes a nerdís gotta nerd.

Serious question

How do you find time for projects like these with a family and also a side business and also a full time job

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.


The Fool posted:

Serious question

How do you find time for projects like these with a family and also a side business and also a full time job

1. I fired my customers after getting sick of them constantly trying to chisel me out of my money. It was fun when they appreciated my value-add but then they started taking me for granted and wondering why they paid my retainer every month. ďLetís find outĒ I said and cancelled my contracts.

2. My primary job expects 20% self improvement time, which means that I, along with my customer, enforce no-meeting Fridays. Friday is my time to play with technology. Ask me about trying to build a call center to my house.

3. My actual work ebbs and flows due to the needs of my customers. When itís busy, I can do marathon days back to back. But when my customer has its ďmandatory shutdown. Everyone go take a breakĒ stretches then I can suddenly get away with a 3.5 day workweek.

4. After 32 years in IT, I draw very thick boundaries that can be seen from space. I have a very strong instinct for self preservation that protects my free time to pursue other passions as they float through my life. So I bust my rear end for my employers when necessary and expect them to respect my time when things are quiet.

TheParadigm
Dec 10, 2009



Agrikk posted:

2. My primary job expects 20% self improvement time, which means that I, along with my customer, enforce no-meeting Fridays. Friday is my time to play with technology. Ask me about trying to build a call center to my house.

Alright, I'll bite! That sounds like a pain in the butt if you can't manage a steady residential connection, but also tons of yelling at providers to fix their stuff. Got any stories?

how the hell did you swing the improvement time though? Work that respects that is rare AF. seniority? in writing as part of the work schedule/contract? The mind boggles.

Volguus
Mar 3, 2009


Agrikk posted:

Not pissing me off:

For a vanity project I built an IIS-based SQL-hosted WordPress site that could handle tens of thousands of concurrent users when it was decently scaled. It was really engaging to make all the different plugins work together on MSSQL and making sure every component in the architecture scaled properly, while at the same time translating Apache to IIS and Linux to Windows.

Why? I desperately needed a win and decided Iíd create the win on my own while engaging my basic delight in infrastructure work. Itís been a while since I just Stood Up A Thing. And building a scalable SQL Server pool behind a load balancer was fun, too.

Sometimes a nerdís gotta nerd.

How much could such a thing cost? Minimum? Maximum? I presume you've done it in some cloud (perhaps AWS itself? or did you join the dark side of Azure?).

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Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Agrikk posted:

2. My primary job expects 20% self improvement time

And they give you the latitude to actually pursue that? Must be nice.

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