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Powdered Toast Man
Jan 25, 2005

TOAST-A-RIFIC!!!

Pissing me off today: Super Typhoon Haiyan.

Our tier "zero" internal helpdesk is there, and so it's shut down. Which means we get all these stupid bullshit calls now that we don't normally get.

Or at least, we WOULD be getting them if our incredibly loving ancient Cisco Call Manager [b]Express[/b} (I wish I was kidding) server hadn't taken a digital dump last night and decided it didn't want to talk to active directory any more for authentication.

gently caress this day.

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Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004


Powdered Toast Man posted:

Pissing me off today: Super Typhoon Haiyan.

Our tier "zero" internal helpdesk is there, and so it's shut down. Which means we get all these stupid bullshit calls now that we don't normally get.

Or at least, we WOULD be getting them if our incredibly loving ancient Cisco Call Manager [b]Express[/b} (I wish I was kidding) server hadn't taken a digital dump last night and decided it didn't want to talk to active directory any more for authentication.

gently caress this day.

Man that sounds pretty horrible. Sorry that the storm is having such a negative impact

Sickening
Jul 15, 2007

Black Summer was the best summer.

Powdered Toast Man posted:

Pissing me off today: Super Typhoon Haiyan.

Our tier "zero" internal helpdesk is there, and so it's shut down. Which means we get all these stupid bullshit calls now that we don't normally get.

Or at least, we WOULD be getting them if our incredibly loving ancient Cisco Call Manager [b]Express[/b} (I wish I was kidding) server hadn't taken a digital dump last night and decided it didn't want to talk to active directory any more for authentication.

gently caress this day.

People are dead over there because of this storm. That is no excuse for your helpdesk system to suffer though!

the littlest prince
Sep 23, 2006




.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

canis minor
May 4, 2011



gently caress designers (or whatever is the title associated with people that provide CSS/HTML templates):

code:
<h3>[todays'date]</h3>
code:
<h1 class="normal-text">Lorem ipsum dolor...</h1>
code:
<div class="header-1">This is very important</div>
Tag names? What tag names?

duffmensch
Feb 20, 2004

Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

This one is going up on the wall

Helushune
Oct 5, 2011



evobatman posted:

Do not use that, it is no longer updated!

Go to http://ftp.dell.com instead, they have messed it up with javascript and poo poo, but it's still quicker than the support web page.

Thanks for the heads up. I've only been using it to find network drivers to inject in to the WDS boot images but I think several of my fellow employees use the site to grab drivers after the machines are imaged.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

CitizenKain posted:

I'm on a conference call and one of the guys keeps saying the word Cloud, and I'm mentally replacing it with the the word Butt.

That's funny, because western digital is running a commercial for their MyCloud shitheap, with a bunch of people sitting on clouds doing whatever.

When I saw the commercial last night I started laughing my rear end off because I'd envisioned a plug-in for tv replacing clouds with butts, and could imagine everyone sitting on a huge rear end.

I tried to explain it to people over last night. With the expected blank looks. People just don't understand.

COOL CORN
Jun 1, 2003




Buglord

My boss is asking me to evaluate various "cloud" ("butt") solutions. Most of them are pretty terrible Dropbox ripoffs. Like one we saw a demo of today where you can only view your files, not upload, not edit, not delete... just view. How is that even useful and competitive?

Sigh. The cloud.

hackedaccount
Sep 28, 2009


So it's like a file museum?

anthonypants
May 6, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


Dinosaur Gum

anthonypants posted:

I've been told my last day is on Friday, so this doesn't piss me off as much anymore:



E-mails from our MFCs, at least one of our apps, and from the customer contact forms on our website are getting sent to users' Junk E-mail folder in Outlook. Our Exchange admin says there's nothing he can do, and has instructed helpdesk/desktop support to have users whitelist these senders. Management believes this is satisfactory.
Management talked to the vendor about this issue this morning, and they recommended disabling the Junk Mail filter. So that's what's gonna happen.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless You Ants, Blants



Fun Shoe

There seems to be a growing number of vendors coming out with their "cloud" solutions for file storage and proclaiming the death of the file server/NAS/whatever. I don't understand who they are aiming this at, a business with a fat internet connection but not enough money for a NetApp?

Loose Ifer
Feb 1, 2002
It's Swelling!

Grimey Drawer

We have no tier system where i work. There's a room of idiots who only answer the phones and write the tickets, zero troubleshooting. They then pass the cases onto my team. Our queue right now is a black hole backlog of about 150 cases, plus the ones we're already assigning to ourselves because we have no queue manager. And the only way we can escalate to the next level (which is basically the architects) is if we've exhausted more than 1 day(8 hours)on a ticket.

On top of this daily poo poo, we're rolling out windows 8.1 on Lenovo Yoga 2's. Cool laptops, but we're on an operating system that only supports IE11, (which none of our current sites are compatible with) and has only been out for a week.

Shoot me in the loving head.

Moey
Oct 22, 2010

I LIKE TO MOVE IT


^ Wow. What kind of monkey controls your IT department?

Paladine_PSoT
Jan 2, 2010

If you have a problem Yo, I'll solve it



So are we doing a SH/SC secret santa?

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams


Paladine_PSoT posted:

So are we doing a SH/SC secret santa?

Couldn't we all just buy ourselves a nice bottle of booze and save the postage?

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Customer logic:

Customer did not want us to source redhat cluster for them. They said they would provide the software and entitlements themselves. Contract states this.

Contract was signed.

The customer is now FURIOUS that I am asking them to provide their entitlements so I can install this software.

"Why in fact, no, I do NOT trust you."

stubblyhead
Sep 13, 2007

That is treason, Johnny!

Fun Shoe

nitrogen posted:

Customer logic:

Customer did not want us to source redhat cluster for them. They said they would provide the software and entitlements themselves. Contract states this.

Contract was signed.

The customer is now FURIOUS that I am asking them to provide their entitlements so I can install this software.

"Why in fact, no, I do NOT trust you."

Oh poo poo! You just did it exactly like I told you to!

Dead Cow
Nov 3, 2009

Passion makes the world go round.
Love just makes it a safer place.


FISHMANPET posted:

Couldn't we all just buy ourselves a nice bottle of booze and save the postage?

Oh look, everyone got a thumbdrive/bottle opener from everyone else!

Loose Ifer
Feb 1, 2002
It's Swelling!

Grimey Drawer

Moey posted:

^ Wow. What kind of monkey controls your IT department?

Some guy who used to manage a telecom company. We're not even allowed to have any extra equipment on hand for testing. i want to die.

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams


nitrogen posted:

Customer logic:

Customer did not want us to source redhat cluster for them. They said they would provide the software and entitlements themselves. Contract states this.

Contract was signed.

The customer is now FURIOUS that I am asking them to provide their entitlements so I can install this software.

"Why in fact, no, I do NOT trust you."

My favorite part of being caught in this is the disparity between the banality of the request and the rage of the recipient. Like, I'm just trying to do my job like it says here, I have no idea why you're freaking out at me.

Rhymenoserous
May 23, 2008


mewse posted:

It's definitely an age thing. Boomers weren't expected to know how to use a computer because the PC revolution happened when they were already middle aged. Right now, the 60yo department head isn't going to lose his job for being computer illiterate, because his job is building widgets, not how to use email. As we go forward, these people age out and the excuses for destroying a network will become much less accepted. A baseline of computer literacy will be more strongly enforced.

Whatever dude, half of my biggest problems are caused by people who "Are good with computers" and gently caress things up royally in some well meaning scheme to improve the technology of the business. I'll take a computer illiterate person who's job consists of mashing 3-4 buttons at most on the "Hard Drive" over any given gently caress up who deleted all the "Clutter" files off of his C:\ drive to speed things up any day of the week. In my experience with a big enough carrot or stick you can teach a monkey to press a button. You can never convince a "Smart Person" that they are in fact also a monkey.

Dead Cow
Nov 3, 2009

Passion makes the world go round.
Love just makes it a safer place.


mewse posted:

It's definitely an age thing. Boomers weren't expected to know how to use a computer because the PC revolution happened when they were already middle aged. Right now, the 60yo department head isn't going to lose his job for being computer illiterate, because his job is building widgets, not how to use email. As we go forward, these people age out and the excuses for destroying a network will become much less accepted. A baseline of computer literacy will be more strongly enforced.

Some of my worst users are the youngest. They never had to learn why a computer does what it does and they've had everything be so "user friendly" that they can't think critically when it "doesn't work".
18-20 year olds who almost exclusively use smart phone and tablets for the last 3 or 4 years for all their internet needs. They also more often than not only ever used a PC to type up word documents and play games. Getting them to reliably communicate issues when they come across something that isn't part of their job is hard.

Rhymenoserous
May 23, 2008


There's a brilliant one for you. Why do people have so many problems in communicating what's going on when it comes to computers? I mean I'm not asking for much. "I was in the <insert name of software> and I clicked the button to <insert task> and this error came up <insert text/picture of error>". That gives me plenty of information to start work immediately, naturally this is not what I get. I usually get someone pointing at a computer saying "It broke". Any attempts to drag more information out past this point results in a "Bewildered person staring contest".

I sometimes wonder if when these people take their cars to the mechanic they refuse to communicate in anything more than hoots and whistles.

Orcs and Ostriches
Aug 26, 2010



The Great Twist

Eh, I don't see a correlation between age and computer literacy here. Some of the best users here are in their 30s, others are ready to retire. Meanwhile, I've had to help people fresh out of university turn on their monitors, as well as the stereotypcal baby-boomer technophobe.

Some people learn the absolute minimum to do their job, even if it means just enough to power on their computer and open MS office. These same people freaked out when I tried to show them how to use a screw driver to change a projector bulb. (Loosen screw, pull out bulb). Meanwhile, others have an active interest in learning, and are willing to do as much as possible.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Do not ingest.

Rhymenoserous posted:

hoots and whistles

This made me chuckle for some reason.


Pissing me off: Power-off roulette in a datacenter.

A Thing has been powered on uninterrupted for over two hundred days. I power it off to move it up a rack unit to make room for another device and it died.

Let's see... Fight with 3-hour warranty support on a Friday afternoon or let it be until Tuesday and hope that no one was planning on using it over a three day weekend?

Galler
Jan 27, 2008



Rhymenoserous posted:

I sometimes wonder if when these people take their cars to the mechanic they refuse to communicate in anything more than hoots and whistles.
They are every bit as dumb and entitled when they go to a mechanic. Also the big chain shops have managers and policies that are just as loving dumb as the ones we deal with!

Evidence from AI:

13 INCH DICK posted:

quote:

You guys did an oil change on my vehicle and now it wants to die at stop lights, the brake light is on, and theres a bad burning smell.
Verified customer complaint. Found parking brake to have been applied after service and customer drove off without releasing parking brake. Berated by customer for five minutes about application of parking brake without prior informing. Status: resolved.

quote:

My car is dangerously dark while driving at night and I have 2 burned out headlights.
Verified customer complaint. Found customer did not know they had a high beam selector. Status: resolved.

quote:

You guys did an oil change on my vehicle and broke my radio.
Verified customer complaint. Found technician to have turned radio off when pulling vehicle in for service. Customer states 'they didn't know it could do that. Status: resolved.

quote:

You guys rotated my tires and now my trunk leaks.
Verified customer complaint. Found to be a collision repair vehicle. Trunk seal replaced for free for customer satisfaction. Status: resolved.

quote:

You guys did a flat [tire] repair yesterday and my engine fell out.
Verified customer complaint. Found all subframe bolts missing, engine and subframe cradle held into vehicle by wiring harnesses and hoses. Replaced all necessary components due to call to corporate because we weren't supposed to remove the subframe bolts when doing a flat repair. Status: resolved free of charge.

Dick Diggler posted:

Is there actually a risk of being sued that makes managers roll over for these people instead of telling them to gently caress off or is it something else?

Fucknag posted:

^In my case it's pressure from above to "BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH CUSTOMERS", even if it's pointless and unreasonable poo poo like this. Retail employees have to suck the customer's dick no matter what, and since it's all one company that means we have to, too.

Alright sir we've got your power steering fixed, whisper quiet and it doesn't leak anymore.

"Uhhmmmmm... the front bumper... it's hanging loose..."

Well, yes, sir, it was like that when you brought it in. I saw it dragging when you pulled up.

"Nuh-uh, it was fine. It's a brand new car!"

It's a 99 Altima with 240k miles!

"Well you need to fix this, I'm a paying customer"

Nodoze posted:

We goodwill a lot of stuff at work for customer satisfaction, otherwise they allegedly won't come back and they can't have these people potentially going elsewhere for stuff.


These are the people that will never fill out a customer survey though, unless it's a bad one. So the writers get hosed either way

The grass is, in fact, not any greener.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


quote:

The death of my auto repair analogy

God help us all

Che Delilas
Nov 23, 2009
FREE TIBET WEED

Volmarias posted:

God help us all

No, your auto repair analogy is fine. Notice that in pretty much all of those examples, people are actually listing symptoms of actual problems they are having. "Bad smell, car wants to die at stop lights," "dark, burned out headlights," "engine fell out." These are specifics that can be homed in on by experts and tested. None of them are simply "it's broken." Keep using those car analogies, they're by far the best tool I've found to explain to laypeople why they should or should not do a computer thing, or why something is happening.

Now the causes of these problems are silly as hell. But at least they're describing the drat problems.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless You Ants, Blants



Fun Shoe

It appears that everywhere you look the tech. press are trying to stretch the definition of the word "hack". The latest one I've seen is describing writing some Python to host a website, send emails and interface with other devices on the networking using manufacturer supported APIs as "Raspberry Pi hacking". What the gently caress, no it isn't.

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.


Che Delilas posted:

No, your auto repair analogy is fine. Notice that in pretty much all of those examples, people are actually listing symptoms of actual problems they are having. "Bad smell, car wants to die at stop lights," "dark, burned out headlights," "engine fell out." These are specifics that can be homed in on by experts and tested. None of them are simply "it's broken." Keep using those car analogies, they're by far the best tool I've found to explain to laypeople why they should or should not do a computer thing, or why something is happening.

Now the causes of these problems are silly as hell. But at least they're describing the drat problems.
Now ask the same person to describe their problems to a mechanic who continually interrupts them to give them a condescending frown, and tell them how their explanations aren't good enough and demonstrate a really serious misunderstanding of how cars work. Do this over and over and over, every week, for years. Then, see if you get the same quantity of words coming out.

While there are always users who are just bad at what they're doing, most people don't avoid describing problems because they're incompetent. They avoid describing problems because of the fuckoff idiot people in industry who make them feel incompetent when they do. These are what people have been taught to expect when calling the IT department since the mid-nineties.

Vulture Culture fucked around with this message at Nov 9, 2013 around 15:35

guppy
Sep 21, 2004

sting like a byob

Most of us don't straight up lie to our customers, so there's that. I don't know what I'll do if I move away from my beloved local garage.

Sirotan
Oct 17, 2006

Sirotan is a seal.


Ham Wrangler

Misogynist posted:

Now ask the same person to describe their problems to a mechanic who continually interrupts them to give them a condescending frown, and tell them how their explanations aren't good enough and demonstrate a really serious misunderstanding of how cars work. Do this over and over and over, every week, for years. Then, see if you get the same quantity of words coming out.

I'm sure there are people out there like this but in the end, this is a customer service industry. I'd argue that these people are the exception and not the rule, who would eventually be weeded out by their management. You're also stripping all agency from the user's role, shouldn't they be responsible for learning something about the hardware and software they use day in and day out?

People understand the rudimentary functions and parts of cars because in order to operate them, they are required to go through training and pass tests to become licensed drivers. Have you ever heard of a company that hire non-IT positions and put them through computer training and tests, contingent upon employment? They probably exist, but I've never heard anyone in this thread ever mention their company does. Mine sure doesn't. You can't lay all the blame on the poor computer janitors.

Dilbert As FUCK
Sep 8, 2007

by Cowcaster


Pillbug

HOLY loving poo poo.

I am going to scream.

Why the gently caress would you refuse my help AGAIN on a Vmware migration, that I have had to 1) Dig SQL data and have manually exported into CSV's for manual repunched into mission critical app
2) Ask me DURING the ICM class I help teach to help you with what could have been a botched DC P2V (FSMO transfers are for NEEEERRRDS)
3) Save your rear end during 2 botched 2003 V2V's of some Citrix metaframe servers
4) Now leaving a customer down for 14+ hours of email refusing my help infront of others and having to repair a half broken Exchange 2010 P2V because gently caress migrating the Exchange DB's n poo poo and I'm not even the primary exchange guy and I know you can pretty much do a 2010 with minimal to no downtime
5) Ask me "so what raid levels to I spec out for this NAS I bought"
6) way loving more
I appreciate the "well I was working on it at like 630 when is when I messaged you for help, I had to go pick something up ~150 miles away during mega overhaul project for these guys". Can you let me know when it's up.



I can not wait to go into work monday...

Dilbert As FUCK fucked around with this message at Nov 9, 2013 around 16:12

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA
May 29, 2008



It's the weekend, go eat some dim sum and stop working ffs.

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

FISHMANPET posted:

My favorite part of being caught in this is the disparity between the banality of the request and the rage of the recipient. Like, I'm just trying to do my job like it says here, I have no idea why you're freaking out at me.

He's been lying about having the entitlements to the in-house team for ages. if you shut up, go away, and make it work without them he gets to keep his job. Or they know they don't have them and need you to shut up about it because buying them would blow the budget for the project.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


mllaneza posted:

He's been lying about having the entitlements to the in-house team for ages. if you shut up, go away, and make it work without them he gets to keep his job. Or they know they don't have them and need you to shut up about it because buying them would blow the budget for the project.

My guess is, you're close.

This is some redhat craziness, basically. If you run centos, or SL, or any of the "free clones" of redhat, this software is usually available and just there. IT's certainly there on my SL box in the regular SL repo.

Problem is, the software isn't even available from redhat unless you have the entitlement (no ticky, no laundry!)
I'm guessing the customer thought I could just install the software and i'd "forget" to find out if they paid for it, or something.

Vulture Culture
Jul 14, 2003

I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.


Sirotan posted:

I'm sure there are people out there like this but in the end, this is a customer service industry. I'd argue that these people are the exception and not the rule, who would eventually be weeded out by their management. You're also stripping all agency from the user's role, shouldn't they be responsible for learning something about the hardware and software they use day in and day out?
I don't mean to imply that most people in the industry are unprofessional to the point of reprimand. It's usually a lot more subtle, and I know exactly how subtle it is because I do it all the loving time myself when I find myself explaining things to people. I haven't decided if I'm blessed or cursed with the self-awareness to realize what an rear end in a top hat I am to people sometimes.

But if you think of it less like the high school football captain swirlying a geek and more like an awkward teenage boy trying to ask out a girl who's way out of his league, you're getting closer to the dynamic. We don't have much common ground, and it's like we don't even speak the same language. What if she laughs at me? What if all her friends laugh at me behind her back? Better if I just don't say anything.

Sirotan posted:

People understand the rudimentary functions and parts of cars because in order to operate them, they are required to go through training and pass tests to become licensed drivers. Have you ever heard of a company that hire non-IT positions and put them through computer training and tests, contingent upon employment? They probably exist, but I've never heard anyone in this thread ever mention their company does. Mine sure doesn't. You can't lay all the blame on the poor computer janitors.
I'm going to separate this out, because there's a piece I agree with and a piece I don't.

People understand the rudimentary functions of cars. This is true. People understand that "D" means "go straight" and "R" means "go backwards" and the gas pedal makes the car move in that direction.

People understand the rudimentary parts of cars. I couldn't agree less. The gas indicator on the dashboard with the arrow next to it is so poorly understood that it is literally described as a "life hack." Your average car owner knows whether their car is an automatic or manual transmission, but couldn't tell you if their car has drum or disc brakes or what size wiper blades it takes without checking a manual. What's more important to understand than the features that literally keep you from dying? But people don't think of things that way. They can tell you that their car has brakes, but couldn't even identify them in a pile of car parts on a table. People think in terms of what they need in order to accomplish specific tasks. The majority of people are not systems thinkers, and never will be.

Lots of organizations make people go through computer training and tests. Hospitals are a great example. If you don't understand the patient charting software, you don't get to work there, period. The reason that hospitals do this is because not understanding how to work the system presents a real-world safety issue that can literally kill people. Sound familiar? It's the reason that drivers require state licensure.

Sirotan
Oct 17, 2006

Sirotan is a seal.


Ham Wrangler

I would take a guess that more than a majority of people who drive a car can tell you where the engine is, how many wheels it's got, that it has windows, etc. That's 'rudimentary'. If their window is broken or they can't roll it down, they can probably tell you as much when they bring it into the garage. If the engine is making funny noises they can probably at least point to the general area. People sit in front of computers more hours in a day than they spend in cars, but I have users who call me up and say they have problems with their "patlet" and can't even differentiate between their monitor and desktop computer chassis when I ask them what computer they are currently using. This is basic, rudimentary computer knowledge that I honestly don't know how they haven't even picked up through osmosis at this point.

Sure hospitals have training for specific software applications for charting, etc. I work in healthcare, and we do the same thing. That's more because of hospital systems using their own flavor of EMR software, and less because of computer literacy. What I meant was what organization out there puts their non-IT people through basic computer testing as a condition of their employment? I've never heard of it, anywhere. Maybe its unrealistic to expect it to happen anytime soon but it's 2013 and jesus christ I have actual clinicians who see patients who have meltdowns every 90 days when they have to change their credentials because they are utterly incapable of remembering two distinct passwords. These kinds of skills should be basic and a requirement on getting/keeping your job.

And I'd like to think most of my users love me because I'm usually very patient with even the most computer challenged of them. One brought me beer once.

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Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

Bless You Ants, Blants



Fun Shoe

In a previous job I used to quite regularly get spoken to by my boss because people would send in complaints either to him or via someone higher up because I wasn't able to assist them with doing something in Excel or Photoshop or whatever, and instead suggested that they look at the help file or have a look on Google (I took the time to explain that I could help them if the app wasn't loading or was crashing). Apparently I was supposed to work out how to do what they want and then write this down as a step-by-step entry in our FAQ system. The guy was totally unaware of the entire concept of "scope of support", and refused my requests to go on various Adobe training courses to pick up the skills necessary to be able to teach them.

The organisation loved him because he'd take on extra roles and responsibilities on behalf of his department without asking for any increase in budgets or head count, and would always try to mash some old poo poo together to do a bad job at solving an issue as opposed to doing anything properly.

And those are reasons for it being a previous job.

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