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Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Oh thank god. I didn't want to rub elbows with those grimy people who deal with "tickets" that "come in".

Pissing me off:
MSSQL SSIS Import from CSV.

Need to import a csv of customers and orders from a turnkey ecommerce solution. No problem! Let's just make an SSIS package for that bad boy. Too bad I have to:
- Add a semi-colon to every line because SSIS can't seem to figure out CR/LF, CR, or LF
- Track down what the gently caress encoding the file is in (Swedish??)
- Manually specify the data type and length for every single column because some data gets bigger past the 250 row 'preview' range
- Do this over and over and over again mixing and matching settings because the SSIS wizard will forget your settings every time you press back/next.

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Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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GargleBlaster posted:

I see your printers and raise you label printers.

Thermal printers. Over serial.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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RE: Thermal printers

Zebra is a pain in the rear end to get working in general, but I do think they're a bit easier to get working with OPOS.

Epson in terrible in all respects. Everything, drivers, compatibility, OS, eventual print quality. The only thing in their favour is they last forever.

Star was actually the least pain but I think something is going on with them because all of their popular models I used to source are EOL and I haven't seen many replacements.

Interfaces in order of desirability and modernity:
- Wireless
- Lan/Ethernet
- Bluetooth (weird but I've seen it)
- Native USB
- RS232/Parallel/LPT (you'd think this should be lower but these strangely Just Work in my experience)
- Serial
- USB Faking Serial
- Custom serial over (x), where x can be DS9, RJ45, RJ49, etc. with custom pinouts

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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I'm thinking of moving off of Thunderbird for email, do you guys have any suggestions? Sorry to ask here but there doesn't seem to be an appropriate thread, and I figured that most of you will have the same needs I do (e.g. multiple inboxes, some just admin messages from reporting services, fast local search, etc.)

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Setup a robot to retweet everything LadyGaga tweets to the socialcast network.

edit-wth we have checkboxes on our names now?

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Super Slash posted:

Oh no no no, stuff like that and the reply all button makes the best of humour. One place I worked at was one guy who requested a spam E-mail to be released, to which the tech support replied "Are you really sure you want to release [dubiously labelled penis enlargement product message]?

All of this happened over a national distribution group, where this moron thought it was a prime opportunity to put in a ticket; to which the drama/hilarity unfolds.

I had a funny one for an (unnamed) software suite about a month ago. They sent out their usual blah de blah newsletter, and then my box started filling like it was on fire. Turns out everyone on the list was getting everyone else's replies. So at first it was a rash of 'unsubscribe' and 'don't send me these' but then once some of us realized what was going on we had an old fashioned multi-email chain conversation going on about how dumb (company) was to set up their newsletter like that.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Packin up, getting ready to leave, oh what's that <blink>SSL CERTIFICATE EXPIRED ON MULTIMILLION DOLLAR ECOMMERCE WEBSITE</blink> guess I better get my coat off and save the day. Again. Like I did last year.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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More bathroom talk:

There's someone on this floor who is a special snowflake that can't touch that icky bathroom door because euh what if people don't wash their hands!!! So they use a paper towel to open the door. And then they throw that paper towel on the floor. Sometimes inside the bathroom, and sometimes outside the bathroom. Like right there in the hallway, by the elevators, first thing you see when you get onto the floor. Building management has put up signs saying 'please consider others and put trash into the trash bin' etc etc. No effect.

Dear special snowflakes:
Like 99% of institutional doors, the bathroom doors are a mix of nickel, copper, and brass over a base metal. The antibacterial properties of these metals has a 99.9% kill rate on bacteria, and anywhere from 75%-99.9% on the majority of communicable viruses. That freakin door handle is probably less organically active than any other surface in the bathroom, including the sink fixtures which are stainless steel and germ magnets.

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antimi...rties_of_copper

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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luminalflux posted:

Hand gel doesn't kill norovirus very well actually, soap and water works a lot better. And it's always norovirus that spreads like wildfire around the office since people are stupids when it comes to staying home when they're sick.

Oh hai check this poo poo out special snowflakes
http://www.sciencedaily.com/release...30909201248.htm
"Copper destroys highly infectious norovirus"

Turns out the oligodynamic effect works there too. That copper/nickel/brass door handle will kill more norovirus than all your napkin holdin and scrubbin.

Also don't google the oligodynamic effect because it'll just lead you into colloidal silver crazytown. It just works okay, but probably not in your bloodstream.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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anthonypants posted:

By proxy, he's pissing in that ice cream while he's eating it.

The piss particles will reach Mars sometime next July. Nobody's going to want to touch that rover.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Drinking water? Man that's like using a dick as a water fountain.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:

this is weird guys

Just add some choking noises and we'll have a jerkcity strip.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Overhearing a marketing meeting:
"We can't proceed on (x) because we need tech help"
"(y) is being held back by tech resources"
"Person (z) can't do (a) until they get some tech assistance"

Hey marketing guys: maybe consider not having 100 projects, all of them slight variations on some kind of analytics (mixpanel, geckoboard, optimizely, unbounce, crazyegg, etc.) that all claim to do your job for you. Maybe instead, look at the actual numbers instead of bugging us to implement a flavor of the week startup tool that you end up not using after a month.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Surprised the bow-tie and/or ascot hipsters haven't snuck out of the woodwork yet.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Lord Dudeguy posted:

Or an IT Manager who wanted 85% of their signature to be taken up by vendor cert logos.

Seriously, what's wrong with "Lord Dudeguy, MCSSA, MCSA, CCNA"? No logos, just a simple list.

My signature ends with "I AM YOUR GOD"

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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The problem with location in the machine name is... what if it moves? User name in the machine name is... what if the user leaves? I eventually wrestled the last company I worked at into using accounting references because the only thing that wouldn't change is the fact that the company owns the machine and it had to be accounted for.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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flosofl posted:

I think that comes down to corporate culture and industry. My previous job was in a global security group at a bank and my current one is at a fairly large tech company. With InfoSec policies being what they are at these locations, they just have a blanket "wipe the computer" and in some cases "nuke the HD" depending on what kind of information is on it. Those of us with notebooks also get to deal with the special hell that is PGP Whole Disk encryption. Although I will say the last generation of notebooks we got are much beefier so it's not as noticeable.

This is true; at that point I was sole support for a company of 120, with about half that being a call centre with the associated turnover, so relating user names to computers was ludicrous.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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baquerd posted:

It's interesting how I can empathize, albeit for a different reason. I work with people with thick accents from from India, Japan, Eastern Europe and Russia, the UK, Southern US, and South America, and don't have any particular problems, but everyone from China I meet has an English accent I just can't parse around 25% of the time.

I'd love it if someone found some equivalent thread somewhere where Chinese/Indian/Filipino people were bitching about English speakers just to see what bothered them. Though it'd probably just be "ugh their noses are so big that is so gross."

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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I posted this in the Coding Horrors thread, but figured it'll be a better audience here. AWS is rebooting their entire cloud this weekend to deal with the Xen/bash vuln:
http://forums.theregister.co.uk/for...l_glory_reboot/

So... good luck if you have mission critical stuff on AWS I guess?

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Sirotan posted:

Whoever you are, I love you.

Holy crap that was fast

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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internet jerk posted:

Why would they be uploading script files to Sharepoint?

Probable dumb reason: They want to create a scheduled task to run the .vbs file using cscript.exe

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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I had someone bring in a toddler once and they put them in the server room (not alone) because it was the only room with a door.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Stay safe Drupal ghosts:
http://threatpost.com/drupal-fixes-...ion-flaw/108861

Doesn't affect me but I know one guy who has hundreds of clients on the platform; he's running a 10 person consultancy doing only Drupal work. Wouldn't want to be him right now.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Ynglaur posted:

I keep wanting "gently caress Java" to be our thread title.

We already have the Coding Horrors thread...

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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AlternateAccount posted:

I remember the first computer I ever built, it was for my dad. It was all parts sourced from the old phone-book thickness Computer Shopper. My hands and arms looked like I'd fought a wild badger. I got viciously ill for a week afterward, too.

I still have a scar on my hand from my first 386DX (not SuX lol) case. It's like those german guys who would get dueling scars and rub charcoal, pine sap, whatever into them to make them stick. Except in this case it was probably powdered aluminum, cooked off capacitor components, and probably brake fluid or something.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Amazon. We do a lot of ecommerce and manage our own, and client feeds. This means we are updating several hundred thousand products a day via XML. Turns out one of our suppliers was doing an optimistic round-up on the gram weight of products when converting from DWT/Grains/Troy/CTW to grams. Normally this isn't a big deal, but when it's gold/platinum/diamonds you tend to want to be accurate for that kind of thing. So, we change the weights in the database, the hundreds of thousands of products are propagated out to Amazon/Nextag/TheFind/Shopping/Google/Sears/Walmart/etc. Except on Amazon the weights don't change for some reason. I have had a ticket open for >over month< asking why these weights won't update. They say :
"Hello - Your weight attribute is protected in the jewelry category, please submit a manual list of SKUs and their new weight"

(Jewelry is so weird and cultish on Amazon it might as well not be Amazon any more based on the rules/requirements) gently caress that I say, there's over 100,000 of them. They say okay, give us the FeedID of the upload that is changing weights. So I write them with the FeedIDs saying 'okay these are the ones that are changing the weights'. The response, after over a month, and 12 obvious back and forth emails on the case showing what had happened?

"Hello - Your weight attribute is protected in the jewelry category, please submit a manual list of SKUs and their new weight"

DID YOU EVEN LOOK AT THE loving CASE HISTORY YOU INCREDIBLE BUMWAD

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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baquerd posted:

Print that poo poo out and mail it to them.

The 'best' part; if Amazon does a test buy (and they will; this is how we found out about it in the first place) and the product comes in underweight they will straight up expunge us from the marketplace. For something they won't let us fix.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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BelDin posted:

Bonus points if he's using SP1 with WPA/WPA2 and you have to talk him through getting the patch loaded to make it work!

Bonus bonus points if the wifi hardware is so old it can't support WPA2

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Anyone else getting hit by some weird AT&T routing/switching problem? I'm in the pacific northwest and can't ping or route to two of my suppliers in the Southeast, and haven't been able to since Monday. Which is kind of important because we can't hit their API to get stock levels.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Sorry I misspoke; I know it's a routing issue, AT&T has confirmed it with both the suppliers and us.
https://downdetector.com/status/att/map/

Weird thing is my phone can reach it, just not my office hardline provider. I was asking if it was affecting anyone else. This is the URL I've been using for testing:
http://lafayettela.gov

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Lum posted:

I guess we're reaching the point where people are gonna have to build a 2003 terminal server solely to run IE6 in kiosk mode, Java 6 (or Java 1.4) and Flash with a whitelist of sites and desktop icons for the users saying "ShittyCorp Parts Catalogue" or whatever.

Isn't 2003 EOL soon now too?

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Eehhhh, you know what, if you weren't running Exchange on it W2k3 had a pretty good run. Sure it had a lot of foibles but in the end it was relatively stable for all that.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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incoherent posted:

Yeah, it was bulletproof. Till you had to migrate and realized how much bullshit fuckery exchange does to AD.

yaaaaaaaa the things I typed are urine yellow now shouting at me off the page!!!!

(also hence my caveat of "if you weren't running Exchange on it")

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Dick Trauma posted:

My brother asked "is there anything you can do to get them to fire you?" and I figured, yes, lots.

I feel a little better now. The CEO's assistant sent me some really nice emails. I'll get started on my LinkedIn/Monster/Dice stuff in the next couple of days. Thank you all for listening to what is now multiple years of work horror.

Check out the LinkedIn Goon Group. I have no idea if anyone's gotten a job out of there but there's a pretty diverse group of people on it.

EDIT-Also, you feel like poo poo. But this is also the new beginning. Sky's the limit!

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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aaaaaaaahhhhh black friday aahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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It's more that one of our projects is a website that sells jewelry and for some reason there's more shopper activity on it today than other ays.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh cyber monday aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Everybody's freeeeeeeee
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI42hQHfbi8

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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monster on a stick posted:

Where I work, I've heard that the executives get graded on how many people fill out the yearly "anonymous" survey. (Same thing with the annual charity campaign.)

When I had direct reports (around 30) at a big company it was part of my metrics (surveys not charity).

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Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

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Dick Trauma posted:

Spent part of the day contacting all my vendors to let them know that I've left the company and will be keeping them in mind when I find my next job. Done LinkedIn out the wazoo, sent out about 20 requests to my network for recommendations.



Don't forget the it jobs sticky thread here!

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