More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

«‹›3 »

J: Jun 10, 2001

Lord Dudeguy posted:

The hell is ThoughtFa-

mother of god...

A place for employees to internally post pictures of their children, their food, and rant about how Obama is going to take their guns. And then your employer promotes one of them to be your boss. :patriot:

# ¿ May 9, 2014 22:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:42

J: Jun 10, 2001

Helushune posted:

Pissing me off today: SQL Server 2012 install!

What kind of error is this, you cryptic bastard?

When you figure this out, I wouldn't mind hearing what caused it. I haven't yet worked with SQL 2012 but I've had SQL 2008 installs crap out on me like that with a really cryptic error message. Turns out the problem was installing another application beforehand that installed SQL Server Native Client as part of the package. For all the pre-install checks it does, SQL 2008 wouldn't catch this and would refuse to install until I removed the native client first.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 22:50

J: Jun 10, 2001

Galler posted:

Should have just searched for coupons and clicked any of the links. Every user that I've ever seen that's in to coupons has all kinds of browser poo poo infecting their computer.

Searching for song lyrics or cooking recipe sites is another good way to find some super sketchy sites loaded with junk on there.

# ¿ May 19, 2014 23:25

J: Jun 10, 2001

Do they just have a revolving door of sucker beer nerds working that job or what? They don't want to pay 50k, yet how much are they losing by cheaping out on IT? And I'm not at all familiar with the cost of living in Portland but if I had to guess, 50k would be not very good, nevermind what they are actually paying which is most likely well below that.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2014 02:56

J: Jun 10, 2001

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

When you said desktop image, I thought you meant you'd re-imaged every PC at the behest of someone who was not "our security lead who just found a gaping hole in our security" - realized you just meant an image as in wallpaper. Whew.

Yeah I was initially thinking the same thing. "drat, this lead fitness guy has a hell of a lot of clout, what sort of lovely fitness app did they have to include in this build?"

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 04:02

J: Jun 10, 2001

death .cab for qt posted:

"Doesn't this use my computer password though? I thought all the electronic crap uses the same password."

How do cars not get stolen all the time? I thought every car uses the same key. :byodood:

# ¿ Jul 24, 2014 03:39

J: Jun 10, 2001

Every time a germ conversation comes up it reminds me of this George Carlin bit about germs.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 23:08

J: Jun 10, 2001

sfwarlock posted:

Not sure which thread this goes in, but I just found out one of my minions has been "resolving" cannot-log-in tickets (in a domain environment) by creating the user a local account and relinking them to their network shares using domain admin creds. While grousing about "what stupid poo poo this domain nonsense is, it just makes my job harder."

Long story short, we're now hiring...

Haha what the gently caress? :psyduck:

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 23:57

J: Jun 10, 2001

WTB IT to fix my .PST. PST!

# ¿ Sep 27, 2014 16:54

J: Jun 10, 2001

jim truds posted:

This weird job posting.

How many lines about printers can one job posting have? Holy poo poo. gently caress printers.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2015 04:56

J: Jun 10, 2001

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

People who have to win Busy. These people who will list every single thing they have to do, while stressing the lunch that they're not going to take, because no man you don't even know dude, you just, I am SO busy.

We have a guy who will happily stand there yapping as long as you let him about just how busy he is and how much poo poo he has to do. If you have enough time to stand around for 30 loving minutes blabbing to anyone who will listen about how busy you are, you really aren't that drat busy now are you?

The same goes for people who have to the win the "who got less sleep last night" game. Oh man I only got 5 hours of last night im so tired! Dude I only got 3 hours tell me about it!!! Shut the gently caress up. I don't believe any of you fuckers anymore.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2015 18:28

J: Jun 10, 2001

ratbert90 posted:

The problem here is that it will look like a good investment at first, at least on paper, and will take months or even years before people realize that it was actually a terrible investment.

And the guy who initially proposed the outsourcing will get a fat bonus for short term cost cutting and then gently caress off to another company (getting a fat raise in the process) to do the same poo poo and will never be around for when the original company has to fork over the additional expenses to fix up the initial code.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 02:58

J: Jun 10, 2001

Dick Trauma posted:

After almost a full month of phone and in-person interviews and last-minute reference madness the HR VP just called to offer me the job I've been chasing. She wound up insisting on talking to my old CEO and I decided to go with it, contacting him first to prep him. She says he gave me a fantastic, detailed recommendation which helps balance out the stupid bullshit his company put me through.

I start Monday. Sr. Vice President of I.T. with my first six-figure salary, a large increase over my last position. Better late than never! I will put what I've learned at the last job into play here. Now my plan is to try and educate myself on the things that could help keep me at this level for the next part of my career, like project management. At 48 (even a young-looking 48) I have to make sure what I offer is in keeping with what employers expect of someone of my age and experience.

Thank you all for listening to literally years worth of employment drama. I can't tell you how many times it's helped keep me on an even keel, and it's partially responsible for how quickly I bounced back from my flame-out at the last place. I feel much better positioned to deal with this next job due to all the advice I've received.

Congrats! I can't imagine the awful feeling it must have been when they wanted to get the old CEO involved at the last minute, but I'm glad he came through.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 23:48

J: Jun 10, 2001

mllaneza posted:

How about an announcement that so-and-so really needs to clean their cube after months or years of nagging, so management isn't assigning them tickets this week so they can clean up ?

Thanks boss, I catch an extra ticket a day when I'm already buried so someone else can get organized. Now I'm working OT to clear my queue. The extra money is nice, but what were they expecting ? Peer pressure ?

Do I dare ask how completely filthy this person's cube was that it takes an entire loving week to clean it up? :psyduck:

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 18:25

J: Jun 10, 2001

I'm pretty sure they also can' t just say "hey your first 30 and last 30 minutes of travel time don't count" either, but I am not a lawyer.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 17:51

J: Jun 10, 2001

GOOCHY posted:

Anybody have a boss or co-workers who talk *at* you, not to you?

I won the sweepstakes. Two out of three of my co-workers are so incredibly narcissistic that they will come over to my cube to just talk about whatever it is they are doing lately, nonstop. There's very little input from me in these "conversations" because even when I do provide my end both of these guys will just continue to talk as if nothing was said by anyone else. No pause, no flinch, no head nod - just continuing to talk. You know how a normal conversation has a pause for a give and take? That doesn't exist here. What's the point?

I have been walking this Earth for almost 38 years at this point and have never seen anything like it. Not this bad, anyway.

We've got someone who as far as I can tell, seems to plan out like 10+ sentences worth of dialogue if not more in a given conversation that he's going to say before initiating said conversation. Then he goes through and says those things, regardless of what you say in the interim. Sometimes if you respond with something unexpected (read: anything more than a "yeah" or "uh huh") he'll stop for a second and kind of go beep boop malfunction malfunction and then go back to his routine.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2015 05:49

J: Jun 10, 2001

m.hache posted:

A business I work for on the side has a user (one of the owners) that keeps all of his passwords in a word file in his My Documents.

Including all of your Adultery dating websites. Nothing like watching him scroll through a list of passwords looking for the quickbooks login to see "Ashley Madison, Plenty of Fish, Cougar Hunter, D Link..."

Hahaha, gently caress.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2015 22:51

J: Jun 10, 2001

Resources

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 00:16

J: Jun 10, 2001

Your distinct personality, The Doctor might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Your emotions and feelings are reality based. You are not misled with half formed ideas nor are you given to radical or high risk experimentation.

You follow the tried and true and do not waste time thinking about things that cannot be seen, touched, heard, felt or smelled.

On the positive side, you can become an exceptional expert in your particular area of the helping professions. You can deliver and maintain consistent and beneficial service to others. You do not lose sight of the reality of the situation and can usually control your own emotions.

On the negative side, your emotions may want to be sensually satisfied which might lead to too much food, drink or other sensual pleasures. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Personality test says I'm fat, gently caress you personality test :colbert:

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 23:53

J: Jun 10, 2001

Why isn't my birthday a company holiday? *shuts down production systems* Now it is! :haw:

# ¿ Apr 21, 2015 23:59

J: Jun 10, 2001

What software do you use to clone the drives? Our laptop fleet is getting up there in age and could really use SSDs.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2015 21:59

J: Jun 10, 2001

Sickening posted:

Honestly people are honestly caring too much

Please drink coffee before posting! :coffeepal:

# ¿ May 4, 2015 17:48

J: Jun 10, 2001

Mr. Clark2 posted:

Anti-Virus software. We're switching from Symantec endpoint protection 12 to Kaspersky endpoint security select. Well, first of all, my boss let our SEP license expire before we had purchased licensing for Kaspersky. Then, he went on vacation right after finalizing the order with Kaspersky so the email with the licensing info sat in his inbox until he returned. Now that we've got that all sorted out...Kaspersky wont install because it detects SEP as still being installed on the workstations. Kaspersky removes SEP as part of its own installation process, SEP is gone from add/remove programs, windows bitches about no AV software being installed, but still, Kaspersky fails during install because it is still somehow seeing SEP installed.
I've manually removed SEP, uninstalled it using Symantec's own tools (it leaves behind several hundred registry keys and a 150mb directory on the HD, yep, manually deleted all that. Tried Revo uninstaller too), but still loving Kaspersky somehow detects in. So now I'm stuck in some weird kind of AV limbo where I cant fully remove the old one from rougly 250 workstations and cant install the new one. I'm not even sure who to call and bitch out at this point.

Get an account setup on the kaspersky companyaccount page and file a support request with them and see what they say about it. Use the getsysteminfo utility on one of the affected computers and include that in your ticket, since typically one of the first things their support will ask for is a getsysteminfo report. My guess is that there is probably still a registry entry somewhere out there that kaspersky is seeing that is causing the problem and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if symantec's own tool doesn't clean every last one of them up.

# ¿ May 7, 2015 13:40

J: Jun 10, 2001

We have several users who buy random poo poo and book travel on various websites (amazon, priceline, etc), all using the same company card. Most of the time there is no issue. Every now and then though, one of them will encounter an issue with the card getting rejected for no apparent reason. I've had them try different browsers and clear temp files/cookies with no luck. Also verified stupid poo poo like the card number being entered correctly and not expired. Typically this will end up with them having someone else place the order, waiting some number of days or weeks, and then they try it again and it will work then. So my question is, what the hell is happening here? Are we tripping a fraud detection system? Am I missing something? Is there anything else I can check?

# ¿ May 7, 2015 17:41

J: Jun 10, 2001

Some rear end in a top hat has scheduled a meeting 2 days in a row now at the same time each day and no showed both times with no word said to anyone about it. gently caress you guy.

# ¿ May 13, 2015 23:29

J: Jun 10, 2001

ratbert90 posted:

poo poo not pissing me off: Converting a gigantic unwieldy excel spreadsheet into a nice mysql db with a good web interface.

But this looks different. I don't know where anything is. Why can't we just keep using excel?

# ¿ May 14, 2015 00:30

J: Jun 10, 2001

Ursine Asylum posted:

I think they still have someone manually taking ssns out of a database and manually putting them in google docs because they didn�t want to wait a week or two for a secure storage solution.

What the gently caress?

# ¿ May 15, 2015 05:38

J: Jun 10, 2001

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

PICK UP A loving PHONE HOLY poo poo MORONS

A director identified a "critical" production emergency (it was absolutely not critical), so he sent an email

But I bet if a printer stopped working somewhere he would have picked up the phone, am I right?? :haw:

# ¿ May 22, 2015 02:44

J: Jun 10, 2001

Now I'm really curious to find out what ICO is.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2015 18:00

J: Jun 10, 2001

Sickening posted:

Now is the time for move requests for cubes and offices that already have someone in them. As if IT is going to do the eviction for them or something.

Now is the time for ridiculously heavy, look at how important I am desks to be plopped directly in front of every power outlet and network drop.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2015 23:15

J: Jun 10, 2001

I would rather see lap top instead of "lappy." MY LAPPY IS BROKEN :byodood:

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 17:57

J: Jun 10, 2001

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

Sweet Jesus...

http://www.itworld.com/article/2939255/windows/the-us-navys-warfare-systems-command-just-paid-millions-to-stay-on-windows-xp.html?nsdr=true

I'm kinda surprised that the cost for 2 years of XP support for government clusterfuck legacy military systems is only going to be about 30 million, even if it's "only" navy systems. I'd have guessed higher.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 17:31

J: Jun 10, 2001

Bob Morales posted:

Using Chrome, IE 11, Android browser, or others will end up wiping out whatever is in that text field and you only save one line and it fucks the data up for everyone else. WHERES ALL THE NOTES FOR THIS CUSTOMER?

Try enabling enterprise mode in IE11 and see if it works properly there, and if it does you can enable it via GPO on all the relevant computers. I had to do this with some shitheap ancient app or else we'd have been stuck on IE8 forever. :gonk:

# ¿ Jun 26, 2015 04:22

J: Jun 10, 2001

sfwarlock posted:

Come to think of it, it's also Google that doesn't let me email executables. I fear the google self-driving car, now...

Facial recognition software goes haywire, matches you with a wanted criminal, car locks you inside and drives you to the police station. :haw:

# ¿ Jun 27, 2015 22:55

J: Jun 10, 2001

Swink posted:

Our laptop-purchasing process:

1) Purchase Laptop
2) Purchase the 30 required display adapters for the mismatch of screens and projectors
3) Purchase spares because they go missing and get left in the office when people go off to do a presentation.
4) Cop poo poo when nobody knows how to projector.

5) Get brought a busted laptop with tire tracks all over it and informed that it was like that when they woke up this morning.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2015 02:11

J: Jun 10, 2001

Today someone runs into my office and says "Heywehaveanewhirestartingcanyougetthemalaptop" and then promptly turns around and runs off before I can ask them any questions about who this new hire even is or what they are doing or when they are starting. Cool. I attempted to contact them after the fact for more information but they pulled the standard Houdini disappearing off the face of the planet trick. The next time I hear anything about this hire I'll have one of these bad boys ready to present, it typically does pretty well in getting people to actually give me useful information:

# ¿ Jul 7, 2015 23:44

J: Jun 10, 2001

Collateral Damage posted:

Tell them to log a ticket, then hang up.

Tell them to log a ticket, then ignore it.

Tell them to log a ticket. If they refuse, tell their boss that they're not following company procedure.

edit: I forgot the most important part. Make sure the user-facing interface of your ticketing system is as clean and easy as possible. Don't show a dozen fields to the user. It should be like an email. Affected user, optional subject, problem description is all you need. The worst enemy of getting people to submit tickets is making ticket entry a confusing chore to fill out.

All of this is spot on, but I'd to add that this only works if you have support from management on it. You need management on your side to deal with divas, other managers, and any other people who think they are too important to follow policy.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2015 18:02

J: Jun 10, 2001

Sickening posted:

We renovated our website! Yay!

The website is new and customer service has decided to forward all questions, issues, or feedback directly to internal IT. They have virtually stopped doing all customer service for the website. The difference is customer service is a dept of like 30 and the helpdesk is a dept of 2. We have even kept them up to date with all issues and gave them things to troubleshoot with.

It appears that this has full backing from executive management. My helpdesk folks can't seem to call customers back fast enough and are working completely out of scope.

Weirdest IT fight I have ever lost.

Wow, that is hosed. Is there any chance of this getting changed once management starts to see helpdesk tasks falling by the wayside because they are stuck calling customers all day about website issues? I just don't even...

# ¿ Jul 18, 2015 16:24

J: Jun 10, 2001

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

All day I'm hustlin.

How did megaman 3 end up going?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 16:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:42

J: Jun 10, 2001

Migishu posted:

So I mentioned to my manager if they could try to not scheduled meetings before I start as it makes it hard for me to get to them, and they were all cool with it.

So instead they scheduled a 1hr meeting with a whole bunch of people at a time where I have another 1hr meeting.

For fucks sake.

Meetings are hard. A while ago a bunch of VIPs kept managing to schedule conflicting meetings in the same conference room. Eventually it somehow fell into my lap to write up how to include the conference room in your meeting request so that it would appear booked to others, which I did. As it turns out, that was too hard. An executive assistant ended up printing out a room reservation form that had name, date, and time of meeting on it and taping it to the conference room door. That didn't last long, for reasons that I never heard. They ended up just going back to the original system of booking conflicting meetings and arguing about it. :shrug:

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 18:03

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

«‹›3 »