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nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


The following was inspired by things I had my customers either demand I allow on their boxes, or things i've had to fix after they've broken them.


I'm a bad admin (I don't care)
(to the tune of "I'm so bad, baby I don't care)


I telnet to the box as root
I pull the power to reboot

I run my cables above the lights
I give my users admin rights

no ids, no virus scan
I edit passwd file by hand

I cat files with a pipe to more
I store my passwords in a drawer

AD's broke, profiles roam
rm -rf on /home

I'd like to think i'm a bofh
but i'm a bad admin, I don't care

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nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


feld posted:

Does that include vipw? Because I use that to edit passwd daily....

Nah, vipw is cool, just like visudo is. It wont let you save it if you gently caress up.

I had someone try to comment out an entry in the passwd file to disable a user once...

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


teethgrinder posted:

Got my MacBook Pro back from the Apple Store on Friday, for the third time... and it just kernel-panicked again. They said this time it was probably memory + software configurations. Still haven't changed the motherboard. It's using official Apple RAM.



Right about now is where you try an executive email carpet bomb and see if you can get any satisfaction that way.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Customer bought a netapp for their environment. A mostly WINDOWS environment, I might add.

So today I get asked to build a VM for this customer, so they can serve their NFS shares via Samba.

... instead of buying a CIFS license.

They REFUSE to spend the money on a cifs license. The yearly cost for the VM would nearly pay for the CIFS license.

I dont understand people sometimes.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Varkk posted:

Probably some silly accounting rules, e.g VM maintenance costs will come out of an operations budget and may not need prior approval where as the license will come out of a capital expenditure budget and would need approval from higher up.

you're partially right. The Netapp came used from an acquisition, so to these guys it's "zero" cost. Since this is being billed as "cloud" the VM is technically "free" because they've already paid for the cpu and disk pool usage.

Our support guys chimed in and said they'd refuse to support this stupidity, so hopefully that is the kick in the rear end to make this nightmare go away.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Sickening posted:

It appears my boss has just outlawed working from home for all the admins. He decided this while he was working from home it appears. It seems he is worried about our dept image if we don't have all the staff in the office everyday.

The irony hurts.

Time to disable the VPN, since obviously nobody needs it.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Dilbert As gently caress posted:

Do people thing Going virtual means you can forget all problems of a infrastructure design or something?

Unironically, YES.

"They are VM's. Those are free."

I still have people wanting to deploy a 4gb mem, 2vcpu VM for each service they want to provide. (One for named. One for nfs. one for samba. another for backup dns) and wonder why the 4vcpu and 2gb of memory they purchased makes all those VM's seem SLOW.

(yet almost nobody notices any of the legitimate weaknesses in our platform)

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Verdugo posted:

Can't you just download more ram?

Does ramzawap (or whatever they call it now) count?

That poo poo is awesome for embedded devices.

Things pissing me off? Support mgr yelling at me for performing a change that was scheduled. He is demanding I get written up for some reason. My boss cannot stop laughing at least.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Caged posted:

I can't get my head around this at all. I can understand someone being irritated with something that you did, I can understand them wanting assurances that it won't happen again, but to insist on that assurance being something documented by HR just seems so loving petty and doesn't address the original issue at all, except perhaps making them feel better.

Is this person that guy who would continually grass people up at school or what?

usually he's a good guy, but i'm not sure wtf happened. His director straightened him out, so hopefully he'll chill. I think i might have just caught him on a bad day.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


This might be a record, at least for me:

code:
Query OK, 504 rows affected (4 min 55.59 sec)
Query would have hit the long query killer in a bit less than 5 seconds, at any rate.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Sirotan posted:

Yesterday I finally deleted a computer from the domain that hadn't been online in over a year, no one could locate it. I was even on-site this week and looked for it, no dice. Presumed lost/disposed.

Today someone calls me to say they can't log into it.

mission still accomplished.

Last night's annoyance: It was absolutely URGENT that an oracle RAC get built. But not urgent enough that we wake up network engineers to fix the network that they did not provision correctly, therefore ruining my plans for last evening.

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Sickening posted:

Why wouldn't that be done when you are hired? Confirming your education isn't illegal, especially if you have had claimed to have a degree.

Education audits are a good thing. A am willing to bet there are more people than you think out there who claim degrees they don't actually possess.

I never went to university, nor did I ever claim to. They still wanted a *HIGH SCHOOL* transcript, though, which i found silly, but they got one.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Dilbert As gently caress posted:

"Dilbert can you teach me unix?"
"yeah okay!"
"ughh can we skip to the GUI?!?!? I can't remember all these commands!"

I love the fact I was told in my interview "well we don't have a large unix need..."

However I just helped one of our largest customers solve some poo poo on some +10 year old unix system.

I question myself as to why many people in their 30's just decide to give up learning and try to go with the flow...

For me, its more about being selective about what I learn, due to being a technohipster. I don't WANT to learn windows, for instance, because I don't want to end up working with it anymore. I used to be a windows/exchange guy and I never liked it very much.

Also, my excuse is i'm trying to get really good at just a few things, instead of just being average at many. NOt sure which is better, but getting better in unixy things is more fun for me right now, so...

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Lum posted:

"That stupid plug that only laptops use"

I think it's actually a 3 pin variant of a Telefunken (aka that stupid plug that tape recorders used in the 80s) but nobody will know what you mean if you call it that.

The existence of that plug is poo poo that pisses me off. Would it really be such a problem to use a kettle lead like everything else.

Today I learned that there's actually a name for these cable leads (the cloverleaf/mickeymouse and the kettle.)

I still dont know wtf a telefunken cable is. (Is it a variant of XLR cable, or is that just what you brits call XLR cables?)

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Ooh, ok, an IEC 60320 C7 lead.

After reading this, I picked this article out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IEC_60320

This is why i love wikipedia. You know there's some sperglord out there who has a power cable museum in his basement. This page is his place to shine, and we all get to benefit.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Lum posted:

That was exactly my point.

Because when I advertise the event as being happy hardcore, and then half way through some gently caress sends me a PM asking me to play Angerfist, and then throws a fit when I tell them that even if I did have the song it wouldn't fit with this set anyway.

It'd be like if I was playing at a place that did classic rock, and someone wanted Cradle of Filth, or something like that.

Here's a song for those fuckers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUvhAPs38RA

Came in today at 0530 to deal with someone in one of our european datacenters. She called in sick today.

Also, Cisco UCS. A theoretically great product that has tons of little nicks and burrs that really piss me off right about now.

EDIT:

quote:

"Oh hi it's John from Muppets, everything is hosed we need you right now, call me back on 6437"


We have about seven different prefixes for phones in this company, and thats just for the folks I deal with. I constantly get "Call me back at 44675"

Which wouldn't be too bad if our global address list worked. IT totally hosed our GAL so about 2/3 of the folks in the company we can't see. so I have no idea what this guy's real number is.

nitrogen fucked around with this message at 11:49 on Oct 22, 2013

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Khisanth Magus posted:

Not related to IT really, but the fact I went from no coat to winter coat in one week pisses me off.

Hell, here in Texas we'll go back and fourth from no coat to winter coat multiple times in a week in Fall and Spring.

And welp, its been a while since i majorly screwed up. This time I didnt read a customers mind when they asked for Redhat 6.4, and I gave them the lastes updated version of 6.4. They wanted base release 6.4.

drat lack of telepathy...

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Galler posted:

A 'winter coat' in Texas, at least when I lived in Dallas, was a windbreaker jacket at most.

many of us have actual winter jackets that we will have to use a bit. It' doesnt' get really COLD, but it will get really WINDY.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


I just had a network engineer ask me for source/destination ip addresses for a DHCP/PXEboot problem...

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


CatsOnTheInternet posted:

Both, to be honest. BYOD is terrible, and reading deployment anecdotes in said comments are equally terrible because you just know that it's a Director or CIO telling a smiling success story when it's actually a total clusterfuck.

Teh ONLY way BYOD is any good is if support folks can say, "Sorry, you're allowed, but if you want help, here's a windows laptop with our image." If you call IT with any software problems on BYOD, they should hang up on you.

As a huge nerd, i'd really love to be able to do BYOD beause I don't WANT any IT support.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Nothing kills that warm feeling for your employer like being asked to work over a weekend so that a client can get an environment that it absolutely must have on Tuesday...


... and have it not turned over to said client until Friday.

...and THEN being informed that your overtime was retroactively denied because said client didn't pay for the expedite, it was just PM's poorly managing a project.

As wonderful as the last nearly six years have been, I'm beginning to see the writing on the wall and it might be time to YOTJ.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Che Delilas posted:

Is your manager (not your PM) reasonable, someone you can talk to about problems? Ask him to schedule a short 1 on 1 with you and tell him how you feel wronged by the situation. They basically just used you like a tissue and then told you that your sacrifice not only will result in no thanks, but they also have no respect for you by not delivering the product by the supposed hard deadline.

Ask him what he thinks that does to your motivation? I know what it does to mine: kills it. Be a team player and get kicked in the nuts for it, I don't want to be a team player anymore. Ask him what he thinks he can do to restore the trust that has been broken here. You don't have to be aggressive or threatening about this, just, make it clear that this has severely damaged your relationship.

Also, as an employee working for a company, I don't give a flying poo poo gently caress who pays when and how much. My employer asked me to go above and beyond, and I did, with the understanding that they would reciprocate. My time is gone. Now it's time to pony up, or watch my output drop to barely minimal levels. This is not something I do consciously; my motivation simply dies if I know my work and time is neither appreciated nor respected.

My manager is reasonable, but the fuckedupedness goes beyond his power to be reasonable.

I spoke with him about it earlier today, and we're getting paid regardless. (my company has a history of legal issues in regards to overtime, so they wont gently caress around on this.)

I just find the whole exercise silly, even if I know it'll get resolved in the end.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Technogeek posted:

I wouldn't be surprised if it was explained that way; tax brackets are surprisingly poorly understood by the general population.

http://www.taxact.com/tools/tax-bracket-calculator.asp

This will allow you to gently caress around with the numbers and you'll see exactly what will happen when you get into a new tax bracket.

http://www.irs.com/articles/how-determine-your-income-tax-bracket is a decent wall of text about it.

TL;DR: if you make $85,651, your first $8700 gets taxed at 10%. Your income between $8700 and $35,350 gets taxed at 15%, your income between $35,350 and $85,650 gets taxed at 25%. The whole one dollar left gets taxed at 28%, for an effective tax rate of around 20% (assuming the standard deduction of course.)

That one dollar does not change your EFFECTIVE tax rate, even though you are one dollar above the 28% tax bracket.

99% of people that bitch about income taxes do not understand how this works. If you play with the TaxAct calculator, the real number to pay attention to is "Tax as percent of income" as that's your effective tax rate.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Dilbert As gently caress posted:

Well after 7 fine months;

"Well Dilbert, don't think we have a foreseeable Network/Vmware/storage centered position opening up in the next 12 months. We would like to move you more into a $Jack-of-all-trades position$+ some Desktop support, with you are go to guy of vmware/network/storage"

^^^^
INCOMING PM

I am on vacation from now until tuesday. Not much will be pissing me off until Tuesday. I am positive that on Tuesday, I will have a nice pile of WTF to clean up, though.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


CitizenKain posted:

I'm starting to think my boss is losing his mind. He mentioned on Monday that I was joining a bunch of other IT people as we convert a new location to our network next week. This is apparently an all weekend thing, and unlike everyone else, I have to drive the 8 hours to get there, while they fly. I'm not really upset about driving, its just the notice is really short for working over the weekend.

Also I have a PS4 arriving on Friday.

you're getting paid mileage right? Be sure and put in for that if you're driving. Assuming 8 hours = 400 miles = $~224 EACH WAY. (IRS milage rate is somewhere around 56 cents a mile)

He'll have rather you flew.

If you are not allowed to take the expense, you better not be going.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


psydude posted:

The way they work around this is to say that it's a tax deduction. Which if you're single, have no kids, and don't own a house is basically next to useless.

He is still putting wear and tear on his vehicle. If the company isnt going to reimburse him for it, he should tell them to eat poo poo. Most companies will reimburse you for using your personal vehicle for business travel like this at the IRS rate. It's perfectly reasonable to do, it's not a goddamn domones pizza driver.

FAKE EDIT: gently caress spelling reimburse.

REAL EDIT: Here's a typical reimbursement policy, its for a university:
http://businessoffice.truman.edu/ap/p&p/new%20travel.asp

quote:

Private Vehicle

Travelers who use a personal vehicle to travel on university business will be reimbursed for the business mileage at a rate set by the university. Rates are effective each July 1 and employees will be notified of changes to the current rates. The established mileage reimbursement rate takes into consideration all costs of owning and operating a vehicle—including fuel, insurance, maintenance and depreciation. The reimbursement rate represents full compensation for the costs of operating the vehicle and therefore the traveler maintains total responsibility to adequately insure, safely operate, properly maintain and protect the vehicle. The university does not provide automobile liability and comprehensive/collision insurance for loss or damage to a personal vehicle used for business travel. Physical damage to the vehicle or loss of physical property in the vehicle is not covered by the university. Coverage should be obtained through the traveler’s personal auto insurance. Liability to others, including passengers, must be covered by the employee’s private auto policy. Travelers should refer to their policy or contact their insurance agent for coverage specifics.

Traveling by Auto for Personal Convenience

If a personal vehicle is used primarily for the convenience of the traveler and the approved travel is to a location more than 300 miles beyond the point of origination, then reimbursement will not exceed the lesser of the following:

The cost per mile reimbursement, plus tolls or
The round trip airfare using air coach or tourist fare (including applicable costs such as airport parking and travel to and from the airport) or equivalent rail. The cost of airfare should be based on a 7-14 day advance coach fare. Submit with the expense report a copy of the internet quote, and the date the quote was obtained.

nitrogen fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Nov 7, 2013

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Can someone explain to me why people that infect their orgs with cryptolocker aren't immediately fired?

Hearing so many stories about how companies are getting multiple infections (sometimes from the same person) and I hear people spending so much energy on preventing infections instead of terminating employees who are too stupid to follow some simple security rules? I guarantee if people started getting canned over stupidity that is required to infect with cryptolocker, it'd probably do wonders.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


computer parts posted:

Computer stupidity is a career thing, not an age thing.

that's my point. It's a thing because it's allowed.

I'm ranting so badly today because I had two calls today, both with CTO's, one who didn't understand the difference between UDP and TCP, and the other who blames me for their failure to understand the difference between gigabyte and terabyte on a contract they signed.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Customer logic:

Customer did not want us to source redhat cluster for them. They said they would provide the software and entitlements themselves. Contract states this.

Contract was signed.

The customer is now FURIOUS that I am asking them to provide their entitlements so I can install this software.

"Why in fact, no, I do NOT trust you."

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


mllaneza posted:

He's been lying about having the entitlements to the in-house team for ages. if you shut up, go away, and make it work without them he gets to keep his job. Or they know they don't have them and need you to shut up about it because buying them would blow the budget for the project.

My guess is, you're close.

This is some redhat craziness, basically. If you run centos, or SL, or any of the "free clones" of redhat, this software is usually available and just there. IT's certainly there on my SL box in the regular SL repo.

Problem is, the software isn't even available from redhat unless you have the entitlement (no ticky, no laundry!)
I'm guessing the customer thought I could just install the software and i'd "forget" to find out if they paid for it, or something.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Sirotan posted:

I would take a guess that more than a majority of people who drive a car can tell you where the engine is, how many wheels it's got, that it has windows, etc. That's 'rudimentary'.

Before we were married, my ex wife had no idea that you had to fill tires up with air or check the air pressure in them until she almost had an accident when one of her tires blew out.

She didn't know how the wheel lock worked, and had to call AAA in a panic because the steering wheel wouldn't turn.

She almost put diesel in her car once, and thank god that the diesel pump diameter is bigger than the regular gas diameter or she'd have done it.

You're a reasonably intelligent woman, but you have no idea how goddamn dumb some people are. Even people that are reasonably intelligent in some ways can be extremely stupid about anything that it's not cool to know. For your average women, its not cool to know about cars or computers, just like for your average guy, its not cool to know how to cook or sew. Societal pressure can make you incredibly stupid about any of these things.

And before teh social justice warriors get on me, i'm in no way saying that women are incapable of being good with cars or computers (Sirotan and Lum are perfect examples of how wrong THAT conclusion is) I'm saying its a society thing, not a gender or a lack of intelligence thing.

I seriously think people are stupid as hell about computers because there's this idea that only bucktoothed nerds know about them, so somehow learning a little bit about computers will automatically give you a diastema.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Bob Morales posted:

PC speaker has always been 'just a buzzer'. And there was never 'PC speaker music'

This is incorrect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RealSound <-- this was a thing. I remember playing Mean Streets with this on it.

EDIT: Beaten. it happens when I have to do real work while browsing the forums

nitrogen fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Nov 13, 2013

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Volmarias posted:

Why would a modern phone system that isn't "the phone company" still support pulse dialing?

Were they really nerds' phones that were retrofitted to DTMF?

Why not? It doesn't break anything (unless you are a certain type of payphone) besides the CO still needs to monitor loop disconnects anyway, so why not?

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


What is it with people panicking when they read about 1/10 of an email?

nitrogen posted:


I've fixed DNS replication between ${HOST-A} and ${HOST-B}. It was broken due to some new firewall rules that were added. I've tested and its all 100% working now.


Some Project Manager posted:

cc: Manager; VP; SVP

Why is DNS replication broken? I told the customer it'd be working? WHY IS STUFF BROKEN OH GOD WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT YOUR JOB ASSADGKL:JASDLFKAJSDGL

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Agrikk posted:


So I go over there this morning and the help he needs is "How do I change the color of the text in a putty session from grey to green?"

"Here, let me show you, its really easy!" and then rape him in the face with a heavy crescent wrench.

So today we got to go see our new building. It's actually really nice. Id' be VERY nice if it wasnt for the fact that it's an hour away now, vs 35 mins away for the current building.

The BEST thing about the new building is that nobody gets ANY cellphone reception in it.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Some loving salesguys just sold a customer Oracle Enterprise Edition using Redhat High Availability for failover. They want to use multiple DB instances (which isnt supported) not to mention, the whole solution even if it WAS supported is a very poor one.

I should have taken vacation starting this week instead of next week, because I'm going to go punch a sales engineer in the mouth.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


Powdered Toast Man posted:

It shouldn't be this way in a country where we have laws like ADA to supposedly protect us, but I'm putting this out here so that others can benefit from my experience:

Unless you have no choice, do not disclose a disability to your employer. They will gently caress you over, and they will do it in a way that is difficult to prove was discriminatory. This is now the third time I've been fired this year, and this time I can confidently say it was because I disclosed my disability and then they strung me along until they felt like they could get away with canning me. I'm going to be consulting with an attorney but I'm in an "at will" state which means that I'd have to prove discrimination occurred and that's very difficult.

This has honestly been the worst year of my life, I think. At least I do have some prospects and I guess I'll just have to omit the fact that I'm no longer employed when I talk to them.

I'll confirm how this happens. A few years ago when i was in support, I had a manager that declined to hire someone that was deaf. "He can't work the phones as well, so we cant hire him." Never mind he was an excellent candidate, one of the better ones i'd seen, and hell, he was good enough he'd have gotten thrown into tier 2 right away which was very little phone support, whch could ahve easily been done over instant messanger or email with anyone.

That manager has been since demoted and nobody works well with him because he's a jerk, but still. ITs true

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


My accomplishment of the week: Making one of the network engineers laugh out loud on a call and not hitting mute fast enough.

We are dealing with a difficult customer. (Why can't you give me what I want vs what I ask for? Read my mind!)

They are basically too dumb to use the vpn, so they want access inbound to all their servers, for snmp, mssql, etc. We are trying to lock down the access, but it looks like we're just going to need to permit any-any because we can't get any details.

We are trying to nail down access lists, and I PM'd him one he needed to consider.

code:
access-list inbound permit peepee any any
Thats my accomplishment for the week.

nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


The best response to the DBA random finger pointing:

"Please explain to me why X concerns you? What makes you think that?"

Their common thing is, "Prove to me that this line didnt cause the outage!"
Thats a common thing idiots do. You need to turn it around and ask them why they think it caused the outage.

That fixes a lot right there. Explain the "Burden of Proof" logical fallacy to them.

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nitrogen
May 21, 2004

Oh, what's a 217°C difference between friends?


mllaneza posted:

The Mythical Man Month is on the required reading list. Brooks managed mainframe development projects for IBM and took away a lot of useful lessons.

Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up is a great book on how to manage your bosses and C-levels.

Time Management for Sysadmins is another good one for how to figure out how to manage slices of not enough time.

Last but not least, a sales book that should be required reading for anyone entering the job market:
The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships <-- how to use Active Listening to get the information you need, and make others feel good about it.

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