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One year around Christmas, my dad asked my 4 year-old cousin about Santa. : Did you ask Santa for anything this Christmas? : Ummm yes! : What did you ask him for? : Ummm a chainsaw! : Oh what are you going to cut with your chainsaw? : Ummm YOUR HEAD OFF
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Oct 3, 2013 00:46
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 04:06 |
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Thanksgiving, 2 years ago: Me: What are you guys thankful for? Niece (11): Chocolate! Niece (7): Pie! Nephew (9): Humanity. I asked for one of my niece's Christmas lists, and the only thing on it was "treat food." So I got her sardine-shaped chocolates and that was the best gift she had ever gotten apparently. The same niece also asked her mom "How did you get pregnant?" like, of all people, you? To which her brother replied "No one here wants to hear that story." Lastly, on Christmas many years ago, my brother pulled a pair of jeans out of box and matter of factly told my mom, "I am not wearing these." And then tossed them to the side.
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Oct 3, 2013 00:57
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I hope this applies, me and a few friends went to an Ai Wei Wei exhibition, a Chinese artist known of political works who was famously assaulted by secret police causing a brain tumour. There was an area to reflect on what you saw via writing/drawing on a card or recording a short video. Here's a photo my friend took of what one child (we assume) left: Note that it is attributed to "Boober skinkerskuirt".
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Oct 3, 2013 01:12
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When my cousin was younger, he would always use the word no to answer anything anyone asks him.
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Oct 3, 2013 01:15
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When my sister was little she wanted to learn a new language. But she didn't know that you actually had to learn it, she thought you just had to try making sounds until you stumbled upon one. So eventually she says "Coo mah minnie mistah" and me and my dad both proclaim that she can speak gibberish. She was all excited about it and showed it off to EVERYONE saying that exact phrase. When we went to mexican restaurants she would say it to all the waiters who passed, every time.
Space T Rex has a new favorite as of 03:30 on Oct 3, 2013 |
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Oct 3, 2013 02:20
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My son (two years old) was sitting on the bed with me watching a movie, and he farted quite loudly, turned and looked at me and said: "NICE!" I replied, "Yeah, nice, are you pooping?" He said very matter of factly: "No, not yet."
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Oct 3, 2013 03:42
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My little sister once stormed into a room and yelled at Mom, "Lung lady! LUNG LADY!!" a few minutes after she didn't let her have a cookie or something. After some confusion, Mom realized she thought "young lady" was an insult.
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Oct 3, 2013 04:12
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My six year old on girlfriends... Kid: Hey Dad. Hey. Dad. Guess what? Today at school? Matthew kissed Alexis <giggle giggle giggle> Me: Oh yeah, what about you? Who's your girlfriend? What happened to Madelyn? Kid: Bleh. Me and Nick decided we didn't want girlfriends anymore. Me: Why? Kid: <HUGE sigh> Because. They're too much work. They're exhaaaausting. 
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Oct 3, 2013 05:00
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I nanny two girls, aged seven and four, who are ridiculously smart and nerdy for their age. I was taking the four year old out, and she had on this ridiculously sparkly pink tiara she likes to wear. An older lady stopped us and went "Oh look at the little princess!", to which she responded "NO I AM THE RAT-PRINCESS-ASTRONAUT" <  >A couple days ago, I wore a shirt to work with Princess Zelda on it. The seven year old asked me who the lady on my shirt was. Me: That's Princess Zelda. She's my favorite princess because she's smart and brave, and really cool. 7yo: Not as cool as Queen Elizabeth I  I have a little RC robot I built as a prop for a comedy thing I'm involved with, which both girls absolutely adore. The four year old, so much so, that he's become her imaginary friend. Whenever we're driving in the car she tells me about how he's followed us and what he's doing. SPONCH! SPONCH! SCAFFY'S IN SPACE!!!!: Oh, he is? I wonder how he got out there... HE'S STICKING HIS HEAD IN A BLACK HOLE!!!: In a black hole? He won't be sticking his head back out any time soon, will he? NO HE'S GOING TO BE SUCKED IN BY GRAVITY AND BE RIPPED APART INTO ALL HIS INDIVIDUAL ATOMS!!! : Well, that's what happens when you go around sticking your head into black holes.One time she drew me a picture of him throwing the Earth into an active volcano on Mars 
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Oct 3, 2013 05:34
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My nephew is just shy of two at the moment and he absolutely loves my dog. His default word when upset is "Bell!" If we ever dare to show up without the dog, he stands at the door and just waits for her One day he's petting her and starts to get a little rough for my liking, so I tell him "Gentle." He looks up at me with the biggest smile on his face, goes "Nice Bell!" and kisses the top of her head. Being an aunt rules
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Oct 4, 2013 13:52
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My 7yo nephew, being immune to cooties, had a girlfriend from school. He didn't care about girls being icky like all the other boys in his class and they were planning to have a wedding in the back yard this past summer. But then she broke up with him and he proclaimed (loosely translated): "Oh calamity!" And went to his room. A full 20 minutes later he returned with a poem: Once, life was wonderful I was happy then. But everything changed. I still sing this song I try, hoping for results But in vain It all ends here. He was really sad 
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Oct 4, 2013 14:47
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My nephew who was around three at the time, was in the car with my parents and sister going around a roundabout near our house. In the middle of this roundabout is one of those trees that looks like palm trees, but isn't. I can't remember what they're called. But my nephew pointed towards it and very matter-of-factly told my sister; When I was a monkey, I used to climb up those trees. But I never fell down! They all just stared at him and burst out laughing. He's almost nine now so we like to embarrass him by recalling that story on occasion.
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Oct 4, 2013 15:35
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My four year old niece was watching The Little Mermaid over at her grandmother's. When Ursala came onto the screen she looked over to her grandmother and proudly shouted. "That looks like you Grandma!" Grandma was pissed but we all laughed.
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Oct 4, 2013 15:40
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My 7 year old cousin imaginative and does not seem to have a filter between his mind and his mouth, making for some interesting observations. My aunt was babysitting him one day and he stopped in the middle of playing to say this: I want to get a big box and put my dad in it and mail him to the Himalayas. She asked him why not California, to which he replied. No, the Himalayas are farther.He does not have a good relationship with his father, but he doesn't let it get him down. In fact, he is quite the ladies' man! After a female classmate of his called him and a bunch of other boys stinky after they came inside sweaty from recess. He asked my brother for some Axe cologne and put it on, but got a horrified look on his face.  Will all the girls jump on me when I get to school, or will I be able to go to class?Today, he was waving goodbye to some kids he had just met at the park. One of them called that he was his best friend now.  I'm glad they're my friends now.*pause*  I wonder what their names are.
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Oct 7, 2013 02:44
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When my sister was 5 or 6 years old, my mom was trying to get her to go to bed but she wasn't having it. When asked if she was tired, she said "No, I'm not! I'm not tee-oh-why tired!" Naturally this was before she had learned to spell but it was only recently that I realized she was probably just repeating Toy Story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FriDDfq6vXM
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Oct 7, 2013 03:48
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Made apple fritters for my nieces and nephews. The youngest boy, upon looking at the tray: "It looks like fish but more delicious!" At 6 he also asked me if I could take him to the store for Axe Body Spray. "Why do you need that, Skins?" "... ... for the llladies  "
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Oct 7, 2013 08:01
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My little brother also says that he doesn't mind "sqicky" material in anime so long as the writing's good (read: he's fine with naked little girls so long as it has ~good plot~)  Maybe I should stage an intervention?
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Oct 7, 2013 10:53
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Jerry Manderbilt posted:My little brother also says that he doesn't mind "sqicky" material in anime so long as the writing's good (read: he's fine with naked little girls so long as it has ~good plot~) You can't help him now. He's gone.
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Oct 7, 2013 11:19
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Sorry about the loss of your brother Jerry Manderbilt.  My smallest cousin (doesn't even talk all that much yet) loves to watch me play Team Fortress 2, I don't mind letting her watch because it's cartoony and silly for an FPS. She is not scared of it in the slightest. The Heavy is her favourite, she calls him "raaaarrrrrrrrrr" She demands we watch videos of raaarrrrr on YouTube every time she comes over. Her dad thinks this is hilarious.
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Oct 7, 2013 19:32
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My dad curbed his pottymouth when my sister was about 2 years old. Dad says he was driving with her in the car and cursed at some guy who cut him off in traffic. My sister asked "Daddy, what's a stupid motherfucker?"
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Oct 7, 2013 19:45
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I was at a birthday party once, listening to my headphones on the couch. My 8 year old neighbour came up to me and asked what I was listening to. "Pink Floyd" "Oh. That guy sucks." I got punked by an 8-year old
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Oct 7, 2013 19:58
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My 4 year old daughter, after getting hit in the crotch with a toy, "Ow my balls!".
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Oct 7, 2013 20:05
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"Wanna know something? I got a lot of presents for Christmas even though I was really naughty! Did you know that Santa eats a lot of cookies and milk so he can get really strong? Santa is really really big, but it's all muscle, that's why he has a hard time fitting down the chimney...He's so musclely from carrying all the presents!"
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Oct 7, 2013 20:30
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My nephew, who was about 2 at the time, was colouring. He picked up the white crayon, tried to draw something, looked at the crayon, and proclaimed that one must be broken. About a year later we were at the zoo: : Don't you want to look at the bees? : No.... : But bees are awesome! : Bees are sharp.
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Oct 7, 2013 20:42
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My sister borrowed our car for the weekend. He's very used to our dog Belle coming out of the car. In the morning, he looked at my sister's car and said "Mommy car." Then he looked at our car in their driveway and said "Belle car!" My dog, the car owner.
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Oct 9, 2013 03:14
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My daughters are out of school for 4 days because of teacher furloughs. This morning I hear them downstairs. Youngest: You want breakfast? Oldest: Sure. Youngest: Pack of M&M's? Oldest: ...no. I guess that was my cue to fix breakfast.
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Oct 9, 2013 03:22
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Two years ago at Thanksgiving, my then almost four-year-old nephew proclaimed, "I'm SO full, I'm gonna poop ALL NIGHT!" It took every ounce of willpower I had to wait until after he left the table to start laughing. The best quote from a child I've heard with my own ears was from my half-sister. She was four at the time and was putting on a play for me with her Barbies. Her mother, my Dad's wife, came into the room and started to tidy up. Her first item of business was to start putting dolls back in their bin. She asked my sister why the dolls are all naked, but my sister didn't respond. At this moment, she pulls out Ken, also naked, but wearing a horse bridle on his head. Her reaction was pretty much horror. "WHAT IS THIS?!" The response was, "*giggle!* He's a horsie and Barbie's going to ride him!"
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Oct 9, 2013 04:24
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Writer Cath posted:My nephew is just shy of two at the moment and he absolutely loves my dog. His default word when upset is "Bell!" If we ever dare to show up without the dog, he stands at the door and just waits for her "Auntie hurts?" "Yes, owie." "I [sic] tiss it better?" She then leaned over and gave my knee an awesome open-mouthed and slobbery kiss. I've also been noticing that she's picking up songs and tries to sing along with stuff, so I'm educating her on Metallica. Someday ill have her sing Master of Puppets with me. Now a nephew of my ex was an awesome kid, when he was five or so, my ex's whole immediate family gathered together for Thanksgiving, about 30 or so people were there. The kid took his shoes off, and the smell was so bad I told him to go wash his feet. Give or take five minutes I hear from the bathroom "hey, somebody help me with this." He then comes out of the bathroom, completely naked but cupping his junk in his hands to cover it, and just cruises past everybody to find me so I'd help him start the tub.
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Oct 9, 2013 06:37
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I was at a chinese restaurant for my niece's birthday and my youngest nephew (5) ate a couple of chopped chilis off the plate. I didn't stop him but decided to watch his reaction. He sat there chewing for a few seconds and then his eyes opened really wide and he started chugging water. After he had finished he exclaimed "Hoo! I'm all spiced out!"
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Oct 9, 2013 07:32
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I teach English in a Korea elementary school. I do an American culture class with my 5th grade students every Monday. This week's topic was Korean things that are popular in America, so I opened the class by asking them to name some American things that were popular in Korea. Most of them involved food, Justin Bieber (not American," and "English" (arguably...kind of correct?) One kid busted out with, "1945, America bomb Japan. Very popular Korea!" 
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Oct 9, 2013 08:50
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My son isn't quite two and hardly says anything. I was changing his diaper yesterday and said something to him along the lines of "shoo this is stinky, boy" and out of the blue he goes "awwww yeeeaaahhh" with a big smile on his face. His dad says it all the time so I guess he just picked it up. A teenager counts as a kid right? One of my stripper friends and I were hanging out one day (she's older) and she was going on and on about a guy the night before kept telling her she looked like she was 20. As she was saying this her 14 year old son was walking by the room and I hear him mutter "until he saw your rear end".
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Oct 9, 2013 14:10
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Ellen Degeneres must use PYF for her show. This was on her show yesterday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sWSE6j5ey4
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Oct 9, 2013 14:22
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bringmyfishback posted:I teach English in a Korea elementary school. I do an American culture class with my 5th grade students every Monday. Oh wow. I am working as an assistant teacher for the German department in an English school and last week they did a kind of quiz about Germany in year 10 (~14-15 years old kids) because we Germans have Unification Day on October 3rd. The teacher asked if anyone knew what the Berlin Wall was actually seperating? Noone had any idea but one kid had a wild guess and said: "Rich people and poor people?" Not completely wrong, in a way.
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Oct 9, 2013 16:37
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When my daughter was about 4, she came running out of the kitchen with a paintbrush, all , and solemnly proclaims "Cats bite when you paint them."
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Oct 9, 2013 20:54
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Laverna posted:My little neighbour (he was 4 or 6, I don't remember) had a fully thought-out theory on dating. WELP  Content: When my mother was pregnant with me, she took my older sister to the hospital with her for the checkup. At one point my sister leaned over, put her ear on my mother's stomach, straightened up and said  "Mom, there's a monster in your belly." Thus began the war
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Oct 9, 2013 21:40
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Basscop posted:But then she broke up with him and he proclaimed (loosely translated): "Oh calamity!" And went to his room. Unironically better than most of the poetry you'd find on deviantart.
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Oct 9, 2013 21:46
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My dad taught my cousin that when ever someone says "Merry Christmas" she should respond "Happy Hanukkah." After a little old Jewish woman gave her candy for saying it, she was convinced it was the best thing ever. Then at Christmas mass, when the priest said "Merry Christmas" she stood on her pew, pointed at him and screamed "HAPPY HANUKKAH!" She had no idea why she didn't get candy for that.
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Oct 9, 2013 21:56
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More anti-Japanese sentiment from tiny Koreans: We were playing charades in my 3rd grade class and one boy's actions were mystifying us all. He stood up, squatted, and yelled at the top of his lungs. The kids were just as confused as I was, so after his turn finished, I asked him what he was doing. "Teacher, I ddong [poop] Japan!" Yes, he's nine and he mimed making GBS threads on the nation of Japan. The other kids thought this was dumb. I tried really hard not to laugh until I pretended to fix my shoe underneath the desk, where I wept silent tears of laughter.
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Oct 10, 2013 02:00
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bringmyfishback posted:More anti-Japanese sentiment from tiny Koreans: I have a question, I know there's a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment in Korea but is there much NK hate among schoolchildren too?
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Oct 10, 2013 02:13
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 04:06 |
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Can this be a thread for favourite kids drawings too? If not, I'll remove them... Older boy and I did a Marvel v Capcom 3 collab:  Younger nephew did a Shadow of the Colossus drawing after watching my husband play: 
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Oct 10, 2013 02:25
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