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 LumpyGumby's magnum opus: hereIt all started with these two pictures.   Thank's to Lumpygumby's fantastic artwork, SASNHL now fancies itself a collective of poets. So now in the hopes I can corral all the rhymes together so Lumpy doesn't have to scan the N/V thread to make more (please?), this thread is for all your brilliant and wonderful hockey storybook pieces! I'll get us started! E is for Eller Beowulf's last grandson Pillaging the goalies Is his meaning of fun G is for Gallys Shortest by a mile But with all the goals scored No wonder they're all smiles Somebody fucked around with this message at 18:28 on Nov 16, 2013 |
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Nov 5, 2013 19:02
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:32 |
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C is for Cooke Many players he's beaned Sherlock Melnyk will catch This perfidious fiend T is for Twins With identical faces Synchronized even When they do up their laces
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Nov 5, 2013 19:04
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D is for Desharnais David by name His Francophone pedigree protects him from blame K is for Kessel We call him The Thrill When his scoring gets hot all-too-soon it will chill P is for PK, who hasn't slumped (yet) but Team Canada's racist so a chance he won't get T is for TayTay who isn't too bright Top 5 in the league? Uh-huh, sure, yeah right E is for Eberle Who has very nice hands Too bad his scoring's departed off to distant lands A is for Abdelkader, On the top line, When your center is Datsyuk, just two goals is a crime! K is for Karlsson HGH helped him back He's been scoring quite well -- it's defense that he lacks!
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Nov 5, 2013 19:07
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C is for Coyotes Stuck in the desert Almost moved to Canada To the ire of every expert
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Nov 5, 2013 19:08
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V is for Voracek whose nickname was Scoracek. But this year's a Boracek I wish for no Moracek. G is for Giroux, Often known only as G. "Just loving shoot," Philly's desperate plea. Reverend Sub-Zero fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Nov 5, 2013 |
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Nov 5, 2013 19:08
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L is for Lundqvist Who makes Ladies swoon Too bad his goals against average Is off to the moon! N is for Nash Who was great on the rush Till he got hit in the head Now he's nothing but mush
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Nov 5, 2013 19:13
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X is for Xavier Wings prospect Ouellet He might be a savvy play But we don't know yet!
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Nov 5, 2013 19:13
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H is for Hartnell A lovable clown He can't really skate Without falling down
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Nov 5, 2013 19:16
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H is for Hasek Did he finally retire? The Dominator of youth Bet he becomes a Flyer
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Nov 5, 2013 19:18
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M is for Malkin With Neal he is score But to carry poo poo linemates Is too much of a chore
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Nov 5, 2013 19:18
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T is for Tkachuk I know, what the gently caress? He scored a lot of goals But at the end it was mostly luck
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Nov 5, 2013 19:18
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Q is for Quickie Who no longer gets shutouts But still wins some games: thank God for shootouts
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Nov 5, 2013 19:20
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B is for Byfuglien But we can't let him stay This book's meant to teach children All the sounds letters say F is for Fleury He's hot now, but don't worry All the flowers in springtime Make his vision quite blurry O is for Olympian P is for Pernell No one calls him either And that's probably just as well
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Nov 5, 2013 19:22
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V is for Varlamov And Vodka as well It's difficult finding Girlfriends who won't tell
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Nov 5, 2013 19:22
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B is for BOBROVOSKY!!!!! Sergei, CBJ's Top Cop After that Vezina year He has pretty much flopped U is for Uncle Daddy The Great Marty Brodeur Your career's loving over Please make way for Schneider
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Nov 5, 2013 19:22
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X is for xenophobia Fear of the other They might score goals But are they floaty? Oh brother!
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Nov 5, 2013 19:24
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T is for Trotz A coach with no neck If you want to get ice time You'd better back check
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Nov 5, 2013 19:29
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G is for Gary At the Finals, he's booed But the owners still love him, For all the players he's screwed J is for Jeremy, Jacobs, of course! Such a greedy old bastard Should be kicked by his horse
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Nov 5, 2013 19:30
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M is for Marchand His hip checks cause harm N is for his nose It's as long as his arm
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Nov 5, 2013 19:37
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S is for Shanny He started out punitive But now the rich white men Have made him a eunuch of P is for Patty Gutless, of course gently caress you, JR, And get off your high horse
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Nov 5, 2013 20:00
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D is for Downie Flying all over the place Elbows, slew foots, and tackles Someone punch him in the face P is for Pronger He'll give you a push All those hits to his head Turned his brain into mush S is for Stamkos He finds all the holes By the time you have read this He's scored twenty goals
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Nov 5, 2013 20:01
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G is for Getzlaf with a face akin hemorrhoids who also went bald from all the steroids
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Nov 5, 2013 20:02
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X marks the spot Where the Coyotes now play In five years, where X is Nobody can say
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Nov 5, 2013 20:05
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C is on the front of Cooke B is on the front of my old sweaters Sorry I don't words good My career was fun I think
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Nov 5, 2013 20:07
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C is for Coaching Change Quite the fashion it seems Dallas Eakins blows goats Patrick Roy's record gleams Rolston goons out in Buffalo A disgrace to the sweater After winning Jack Adams Paulrus shoulda been better Van and New York switched straight up Doctor AV for Torts But it's Laviolette Whose short straw was the shortest
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Nov 5, 2013 20:12
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Y is for Yzerman He ruined goalie's careers Even the ones he signed Now work at Sears
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Nov 5, 2013 20:13
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W is for Wellwood Kyle used to play hockey unlike his brother He's stuck in Philly
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Nov 5, 2013 20:16
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Infidel Castro posted:X marks the spot do the Coyotes remain, in Phoenix where they can't find a fan to entertain Z is for Zilch: the cash they bring in. But thanks for being there for the Kings' Conference win.
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Nov 5, 2013 20:18
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O is for Ovechkin He scores the goal what is defense that's not his role
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Nov 5, 2013 20:21
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J is for Jagr Defensive lament "But I flew back to Czech" Yeah that's not what we meant
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Nov 5, 2013 20:26
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D is for DiPietro Plutocrat of the pipes Banished to the AHL GOAL! Beaten by another snipe
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Nov 5, 2013 20:27
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K's for Kostitsyn First name: Sergei His defense is like abandonné
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Nov 5, 2013 20:28
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G is for Guy He screams and he barks Do as he says Or he'll feed you to sharks
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Nov 5, 2013 20:30
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K is for Kopitar His goal drought ended none too soon He's an incredibly nice dude, He's not a raccoon.
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Nov 5, 2013 20:38
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P is for Parise That backstabbing traitor Better him than Kovalchuk NHL? See ya later! B is for Bozak The Leafs pay him too much He's their number one center? Christ, Dave Nonis sucks F is for Feaster Who's enormously fat But soon he'll be gone Brian Burke wears his hat L is for Lowe Kevin of the Six Rings Knows a lot about winning Also losing, truth stings
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Nov 5, 2013 20:46
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P is for Perry gently caress Corey Perry Greasy little shithead gently caress Corey Perry
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Nov 5, 2013 20:47
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J is for Jason We like him a lot We once went to see him But now we Arnott
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Nov 5, 2013 20:50
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A is for Anze the Slovenian wonder. Will get demolished in Sochi So going might be a blunder. L is for Lombardi Won the Cup with a little luck In the process beat the Devils haha gently caress you Kovalchuk
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Nov 5, 2013 20:52
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Y is for Yzerman The master of many power play units He now runs Team Canada Those dumb homers will force him to send Chris Kunitz. MaoistBanker fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Nov 5, 2013 |
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Nov 5, 2013 21:10
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:32 |
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G is for Gillis So far his signings have tact As for his trades Give him the Milbury plaque C is for Canucks Our fan base is tortured We look at Chicago And see Stanley's orchard B is for Burrows He's hungry, just a smidgin Don't get in his face Or you'll be missing a digit H is for Hodgson The coho flew the coop Now we have Kassian Inside his head is soup L is for Luongo He's the best we've ever had Not good enough for us We make Bobby sad T is for Torts Our team will improve in time But for now our solution Is always Sedins+Kesler first line R is for Ron Cherry's better half, Mr. Mclean Don't let him go clubbing Has he no shame? X is for Bieksa Or Bieska, as some call him On Hockey night in Canada HE'S A BEAUTY, THAT'S FOR SURE! HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE? OK ROLL THE CLI--*outro music* Daeno fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Nov 5, 2013 |
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Nov 5, 2013 21:17
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