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Y'know, Hollywood is just terrible. What with their drinking, their drugs, and their dramatized yet fake sex. Oh, and the dancing, don't forget about the dancing. But we like to see movies, those funny moving pictures can be entertaining and can distract the kiddos for hours on end. So how can we avoid the problems of reality and isolate our families in a environment that is free of liberals and those homosexual folks. Well, some folks have seen the But a small overview of Christian studios and movies might be a good start: Cloud Ten Productions The makers of the Tribulation Series of films and the ones responsible for bringing Left Behind to the big screen. Tribulation Quadology  The Tribulation films are actually more surreal than the Left Behind Series, which is rather amazing if you are familiar with the latter. They introduce the idea that everyone receives the Mark of the Beast through virtual reality goggles and that once you have mastery over it, you can gain psychic powers. Oh, and if you are killed in the There are 4 movies in all, with some indication that a 5th one is on its way. Which is a scary thought, considering that the last movie was released direct to video in 2001. You may also notice that there are a lot of C-list actors. Two examples are Gary Busey and Mr. T. This tends to be a rather common phenomenon, to show legitimacy for the Christian film industry. Rather than the reality that these actors have to pay the bills too. A gig is a gig after all. Left Behind   Ahhh...Left Behind: The Movie. The book series has been dissected to the bone by the Slacktivist (He's up to the third book) if you want to get a clearer picture of the series. But it can be summed up as evangelical fanfiction of the end times. They focus on two people, a pilot and a journalist as among those that So far, the first two books have been made into films, but has been rebooted, because the first two films are simply terrible enough to warrant it I guess. Now, you may notice that Kirk Cameron is among the actors, so you may assume that he is in it for the money. Which is partially true. But he has been an evangelical since the early days, and has been involved in a series called "The Way of the Master" with Ken Comfort as they talk about the best way to anally inset a banana. Or how the banana is proof that God created everything. I forget which. The way they talk about it, you would think it is the former. Big Idea Entertainment They make kids stuff. For kids. Veggietales  The people responsible for bringing Veggietales into the world. Veggietales is, broken down to its base components, a kid oriented show that has elements of Jesus rather than fart humor. They have little variations on Bible stories, even more so than the gory stories themselves, usually involving some sort of moral, like forgiveness or humility. Here is the thing. I hear people who are not fundies go on and on how good the writing is. I don't see it personally, but in terms of Christian oriented media...it isn't bad the way that Left Behind is. Which even a student film can accomplish. But still, it won't melt your brain with contradictions and terrible everything. Which is rather amazing. So this show, while mediocre, is among the highest of the high of Christian media. Bibleman  "What the hell you are talking about, Veggietales is terrible," you may say. And I'll give you that. But the reason why it is not horrible slop is because there is worse out there. That is Bibleman exists, and thus Veggietales can never be truly horrible. This is released by a different company than Veggietales, which is Take the lines about the armor of God, in Ephesians 6, and then take it literally. Add a little bit of Batman. Remove everything that made Batman good. and you get Bibleman. It feels like they wanted to take the campiness of Adam West Batman and make it Bible oriented. But well, the villain's goal is to make kids misbehave in every episode. Which is the max on the conflict scale the series holds. Oh no, kids are bad. Whatever shall we do? And I'm pretty sure Lucas sued them at some point for having a lightsaber knockoff. Sherwood Pictures Movies that try to depict real life scenarios and real life problems. Probably fails miserably. Fireproof  Kirk Cameron is the leading man in this picture, which you know means that this is a quality product. It depicts a firefighter with a broken marriage doing what it takes to save it from the abyss known as divorce. Truly a love story about how some token gestures can ensure that the woman in your life is sufficiently subjugated and submissive towards the man of the house. Unless you are a true believer, which then it shows a couple developing a Christ-centered marriage. Courageous:  The story about how 4 police officers try to struggle through life as fathers/husbands and as LEOs. They are trying to be men among men. Manly. So very manly. And dads. And husbands. Now with 20% more real life. I was purposefully ordering the films the way I did because there is a progression here that warrants consideration. I mean sure, the Rapture and Tribulation stuff is pretty crazy. But dystopian futures tend to be a bit on the crazy side, although the level of believability varies. And kids entertainment, while it feels like brainwashing, at least focuses on trying to created kid-oriented stuff meant to distract the kiddos while mommy and daddy have bible time in the bedroom. You can describe it naive and destructive in their own way, and I would agree with you. But they felt a bit innocent about what they were doing. Like they were well meaning. But Fireproof and Courageous, they never felt innocent at all. They actually felt insidious, like there is something inherently wrong with their messaging. Kirk's character is an abusive dickbag. Courageous really whitewashes real life issues that have really severe consequences with a touch of racism hidden inside. The Cloud 10 movies and kids shows never took themselves too seriously. Sure, they were terrible in their own way, but it never felt like they were trying to portray real life. But when you start selling merchandise based on the "Love Dare" which is supposed to help you rekindle your marriage, your posterboy should not be Caleb, which is one domestic disturbance away from a nice jail cell. And that, I feel, is the cardinal sin (HA) of Christian films that try to depict real life. When Christian production companies try to depict real life, they only get life that is a mockup of what they think life is about. You can say that for life in general, but few can have such a large disconnect with reality. It is fun to mock Christian movies, but some films makes you pause a think about how seriously messed up this whole thing is. These films also seem to have a hard-on for manly men. Like firefighters, police officers and the like are things that men should be doing. To the point where I am restraining myself with every fiber of my being from making homoerotic jokes. But the guys who made this movie really love the cock. Like the symbolism of male domination. Things go wrong when the man is in control but gentle enough to In all, despite my opinions on movies released by the Christian Film Industry, I think it is worth talking about what the movies are trying to do and what is the end result. So is there a movie that you want to talk about? A Christian movie that is actually good? Want to sperg about a movie? Have at it.
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Dec 12, 2013 03:47
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I saw Courageous in theaters, reviewed it for Current Releases and gave it 20/50. I am not proud. If you don't follow that link, I can't stress enough that I was high on Vicodin and sleep-deprived when I shelled out cash for a ticket. Even today, I have no memory of the film besides "bland, vaguely racist, corny...and, yet, kinda entertaining." AGAIN THAT IS PROBABLY THE VICODIN TALKING. EDIT: I'm not the "HURR ATHEISM!" rear end in a top hat I once was, but as a freshman in college, we got drunk before noon and took the bus to catch The Passion of the Christ on opening day, which led to me almost fighting a redneck in the parking lot. Christian cinema is the best cinema. Keanu Grieves fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Dec 12, 2013 |
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Dec 12, 2013 04:00
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Christian here checking in: Most "Christian cinema" is not good, but I will defend Veggietales, at least the mid/late 90's stuff. The animation was much more crude back then, but it was actually funny and entertaining, now it's just parodies of other stuff and not very good.
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Dec 12, 2013 04:44
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Me and my friends were dragged by another friend to watch a Mexican Christian movie about abortion.  It was truly terrible. From bad acting, complete lack of bad words, Christan soundtrack, all men were evil and all women were naive/stupid, misinformation about abortions, a girl bleeding from between her legs and a devoted Catholic woman suddenly finding the real white Christian Jesus(not by herself or by some cheesy miracle, she was practically convinced by some woman she met).
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Dec 12, 2013 04:50
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Watch the trailer for that movie Christmas With a Capital C and try not to laugh within 30 seconds.
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Dec 12, 2013 04:55
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First a movie about firemen, then a movie about police. Will the next one be about paramedics? Is this preparation for an Avengers of Christian emergency workers?
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Dec 12, 2013 05:21
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When Soul Surfer was released and did so well, I thought we'd see a lot more Christian film companies trying to follow in its footsteps--the kind of Jesus Lite, positive-message movies that could cross over as family-friendly entertainment in the mainstream market. It seemed like a no-brainer--you get a movie that Christians can watch and feel good about, functions as proselytizing for the mainstream market, and makes a bunch of money. The fact that nobody's really tried to duplicate that formula kind of blows my mind. Daniel Radosh, who wrote a book on Christian pop culture (a weird stunt journalism trend there for a while), articulated the major problem with Christian film in his review of Fireproof: "Committed to promoting an unambiguous message that God solves all problems, Fireproof never portrays Christians doing anything untoward, or even experiencing any sorrow. . . In the perfect world of Fireproof, good Christians do not have bad marriages, any more than they drink, gamble or swear." In Soul Surfer, the protagonist actually claims that getting her arm chomped off by a shark made her life better, because, you know, Jesus. Christian movies are unwilling to let their protagonists suffer in any kind of significant way, because it would undermine their message that God will take care of you. There's never any narrative tension, because you know that by the end of the movie, you know that anyone who's doing what they Biblically "should" be doing will be handed a 100 percent perfect ending with a shiny red bow on it. If you're looking for "good" Christian movies, Steve Taylor's films (The Second Chance and Blue Like Jazz) come up heads and shoulders above their competition, although both are still pretty mediocre compared to similar secular films. But they're an interesting experiment within the boundaries of Christian film, and there needs to be lots more exploration in that direction if the genre ever wants to be taken more seriously. (Taylor actually swore up and down that Blue Like Jazz was not a Christian film when he was promoting it, because he knew that being associated with the genre would absolutely destroy any credibility that the film might otherwise get. And to be fair, it's not really "a Christian film" in the sense that Fireproof is a Christian film.) As a weirdo agnostic but Christian-film junkie, I would love to discuss: - Christian film's race problem - the Kendrick brothers' professional split from Sherwood Baptist Church but I figure this is long enough for a first post already.
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Dec 12, 2013 06:19
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aslan posted:When Soul Surfer was released and did so well, I thought we'd see a lot more Christian film companies trying to follow in its footsteps--the kind of Jesus Lite, positive-message movies that could cross over as family-friendly entertainment in the mainstream market. It seemed like a no-brainer--you get a movie that Christians can watch and feel good about, functions as proselytizing for the mainstream market, and makes a bunch of money. The fact that nobody's really tried to duplicate that formula kind of blows my mind. That is kinda the thing though. Getting your arm chomped off is a terribly lovely thing to have happen to you. It would be a more uplifting message if despite her struggles, she remained positive and tried to surf despite her new and shiny disability. That would make for a stronger messaging, like "hey, life can really blow, and I mean, really blow. But it's ok, have faith in the Lord and fight with all your might and you will be in a better place." Not the same place where she would be if she had her arm attached, but a place where she can cope with this sudden lifestyle change. But we don't like to talk about Job at the end of the book rather than in the middle. Great, at the end, he gets all of his stuff back, even has more kids. But then you remember that his first batch is dead, their lives ended in a single moment. You don't come back from that so easily. And job held no delusion that things were going to return back to normal. He was in sheer despair, not sure if he can recover from this. That primal feeling, and the realization that things will never be the same scares the living crap out of everyone, but especially Christians. Why? Because that will clearly mean that God isn't real or that God doesn't care about their well being. That their prayer and time spent at church and being several steps from a sociopath was a waste of time. And that is a crisis of faith that they are likely to never recover from. And that is why real conflict and real suffering will never be a part of Christian films. Because that feels like real life, and our daughter/son can die driving at night or that I can lose my job and can lose the house. That sort of stuff is scary and real and we don't want that. Even the stuff that is visceral like the post about a Mexican Christian film still have that bit of absurdity to them, even if they have this crazy scene about a botched abortion that better fits with a horror movie. Affirming real conflict and pain is to affirm life itself. The closest that I believe a Christian oriented film has gone that route is "The Passion of the Christ" and even then, it felt more like an affirmation that Jesus gets better after all this. Which, to be fair, is kinda the whole basis of the faith. But it takes a different tone when the guy is still in the tomb on the 4th day. quote:As a weirdo agnostic but Christian-film junkie, I would love to discuss: This article suggests that the split isn't a clean one but rather an expansion. Part of the reason why I started this thread is that there has been greater and greater noise being generated about Christian movies. So there is enough interest to generate more films like it. I think that the Kendrick brothers will try to start their own "Industrial Light and Magic" to support other productions if that makes sense. So it is terrible/exciting to see what is happening on that front. Terrible because I doubt that the films will get better. Exciting because this can only produce some spectacular train wrecks. About race, which is funny that you mention that. I was looking for large production companies and came across this medium sized one that was doing a casting call for an Owl City music video. The majority of the cast including the Hero boy/girl were to be Caucasian. There were a few minority roles but for the most part, the production was to be white as the driven snow. So there is that. That said, I do remember that there are film productions that focus primarily on Black Christians, but that is as niche as Tyler Perry presents films. I have to dig around and find some.
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Dec 12, 2013 06:50
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zandert33 posted:Christian here checking in: When me and my sister were wee tots we loved Veggietales. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-A74dEskT6s I didn't even realize it was a religious thing until the Jonah and the Whale thing they did, though that was probably more because I did not recognise the christian elements.
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Dec 12, 2013 08:02
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The racial treatment in Christian films consistently strikes me as about two decades behind the times. The filmmakers usually want to appeal to both white and black Christian audiences, so they make sure they include black sidekicks for their white protagonists, but in doing so, they almost inevitably play into really dated stereotypes. The Sherwood Pictures stuff in particularly is full of it, as other posters have already noted--the women always have a sassy black lady friend, the men have a tough but good-natured, tell-it-like-it-is black man friend. There's a lot of Magical Negro poo poo going on, a lot of POC characters who are only there to propel the white heroes' journeys. Lots of Whoopi Goldberg "You in danger, girl" speeches. Racial tropes that were common in a lot of early '90s films, basically. To be fair, they haven't been completely eradicated from mainstream film-making either, but the difference is that with mainstream films, there is inevitably somebody in the mainstream media calling them out on it, and sometimes they learn. There is largely nobody serving that "call out" function for the Christian films, and so they never learn and these tropes tend to get recycled at a much greater frequency. One of the reasons I liked The Second Chance is because it didn't play upon those tropes nearly as much as I was expecting. I was uncomfortable with the set-up--a rich white pastor from a wealthy church comes to help a poor black pastor at an inner-city church--because I knew Christian films' track record on race and was expecting a white savior bent. The movie definitely isn't perfect when it comes to race, but it does go in directions you wouldn't expect. There's another movie I watched, called (I think) The Grace Card, about a black cop and a white cop that have to learn to overcome their prejudices when they're partnered together, and while it's still pretty terrible (as you might have guessed, reading that premise), I appreciated that it was at least trying to address racial issues in a realistic way rather than sweeping them under a "You go girl" rug the way the Sherwood movies and a lot of other Christian films do. Beyond that, I think pretty much every single Christian film I've ever watched has included at least one scene, stereotype or trope that is straight out of 1993. Also, please feel free to share the absolute worst Christian movies you've ever seen. I think mine has to be this one, which inexplicably has the premise of a horror movie (and is shot vaguely like one)--due to a sudden road closure, a bunch of strangers are trapped in a roadside cafe . . . where the cafe's owner seems to know a creepy amount of information about their lives. Because he's Jesus, of course. When Jesus isn't coming off like a serial killer, he comes off like a controlling, abusive husband. I'm not sure how anybody, believer or non-, could watch it and want to be a Christian afterward, but there you go.
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Dec 12, 2013 08:11
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Very surprised Omega Code is not on here. It had Casper Van Deen!! Michael Ironsides!! Seriously it's actually not terrible. Here is the ending. It is fantastic! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z0aRjf44ic It's pretty great.
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Dec 12, 2013 08:38
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No mention of EchoLight Studios, headed by the one and only Rick Santorum? Shameful. Nobody tell him his first movie is pretty much a ripoff of Hanukkah.
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Dec 12, 2013 09:05
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Bibleman...holy poo poo, now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. I remember watching some of those videos like 15 years ago when I was a kid and my mom was trying to impose her staunch Catholic beliefs on me. I'm an adult now and she still is, but that's a different story. Anyway, from what I remember, they were pretty much garbage. I watched a good amount of VeggieTales, too. It's definitely not something I would choose to watch myself, but it's far from being as bad as the rest of Christian oriented stuff. What about C Me Dance? I haven't seen it myself, but I remember it being a hot topic on the Who Greenlighted thread like 4 or 5 years ago, or whatever its equivalent was. That was back when BulletRiddled was something of a bad movie crash test dummy on the forums, and I think he saw it but he had to special order it from the releasing company because at the time they were only supplying it to churches and church groups or something along those lines. I don't remember the exact story, but it looked like a godawful low-budget preachy piece of poo poo from the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-7TM3Udip4 Apparently the whole thing is available to watch on YouTube now for free, and I'm guessing this isn't considered  since the releasing company themselves have this up on their channel:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G75E_4wwbl4 gently caress if I'm wasting an hour and a half of my time watching that, though.
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Dec 12, 2013 09:15
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Hollismason posted:Very surprised Omega Code is not on here. It had Casper Van Deen!! Michael Ironsides!! I don't get what's going on there. Like, the earth blew up? The whole thing was just someone's lovely movie script that got stuck on a printer?
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Dec 12, 2013 10:10
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Sherwood Pictures has all but quit making films. The brains/power of the outfit is moving on to train other Christian filmmakers. They were originally put on the map with Facing the Giants, which not shockingly has an undersized quarterback named David on an underdog team facing a team called the Giants. I don't think it had much of a cinematic release - if any - but did very well in video sales. At least it did in the area around Albany, Ga., the church's (Sherwood Baptist's) base. There are also a megaton of LDS-approved films out there. For some reason, I have a relative who loves the things and brings me old VHS tapes she's picked up and asks me to convert them to DVD. You can make a game out of guessing the release year. That film looks so hazy, it must be mid/late 1980s. Nope. Late 1990s.
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Dec 12, 2013 10:56
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Keanu Grieves posted:I saw Courageous in theaters, reviewed it for Current Releases and gave it 20/50. I am not proud. If you don't follow that link, I can't stress enough that I was high on Vicodin and sleep-deprived when I shelled out cash for a ticket. Even today, I have no memory of the film besides "bland, vaguely racist, corny...and, yet, kinda entertaining." AGAIN THAT IS PROBABLY THE VICODIN TALKING. Now I just have to throw this out there. Are you willing to review this film sober/slightly inebriated? Like do a play by play of the film? Because I'm curious about what you'll think about the film once you take a good look at it.
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Dec 12, 2013 14:34
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I grew up with the Thief in the Night Series and the various Focus on the Family films. I'll try and remember some of that stuff. I found this in the past year and its bonkers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5o_LwqX77I
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Dec 12, 2013 14:45
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Keanu Grieves posted:I saw Courageous in theaters, reviewed it for Current Releases and gave it 20/50. I am not proud. If you don't follow that link, I can't stress enough that I was high on Vicodin and sleep-deprived when I shelled out cash for a ticket. Even today, I have no memory of the film besides "bland, vaguely racist, corny...and, yet, kinda entertaining." AGAIN THAT IS PROBABLY THE VICODIN TALKING. The drug gang there looks like Tobias' "street toughs" in Arrested Development.
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Dec 12, 2013 15:40
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Dante Logos posted:You may also notice that there are a lot of C-list actors. Two examples are Gary Busey and Mr. T. This tends to be a rather common phenomenon, to show legitimacy for the Christian film industry. Rather than the reality that these actors have to pay the bills too. A gig is a gig after all. I feel I should point out that both Gary Busey and Mr. T are evangelicals which probably plays heavily into why they show up in these movies. I had a rather surreal experience around a decade ago when channel surfing and came across Mr. T in a Got Jesus? cutoff t-shirt preaching on television. And sure Gary Busey is Gary Busey, but he's been a born again, Promise Keeper Gary Busey for almost 20 years now.
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Dec 12, 2013 16:28
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I have seen every film in the OP except Fireproof and Courageous. Someone help me. I actually find VeggieTales to be pretty good material for kids, because it's not really about ACCEPT JESUS AS YOUR SAVIOR OR BURN as it is "Hey kids, here are moral lessons to be a good person. You don't want to grow up and be an rear end in a top hat, do you" Also, the songs are almost always well written and catchy. I love the theme from LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed. Left Behind on the other hand is attrocious. I remember being excitied for the film in my Christian filled childhood, and then growing up to realize "What a piece of trash." Although, I am probably going to see the new version with Nicolas Cage, because...Nicolas Cage.
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Dec 12, 2013 17:11
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My favourite thing about the Left Behind series is that it starts off with a terrible premise right from the get go. (1) As with most Christian narratives, the whole thing is supposed to be about how damned you will be if you don't have faith in Jesus Christ, yet it tells that tale through people who only become believers due to experiencing undeniable evidence. (2) If the rapture happened and the end of the world is inevitable in 7 year's time, who gives a poo poo that someone is trying to take over the UN?
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Dec 12, 2013 17:30
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The problem with a lot of the Christian studios is that they're either trying too hard to be like Hollywood or not trying enough to make good movies (either due to lack of talent or budget). I recall seeing Joshua, which was good (it starred Tony Goldwyn and F. Murray Abraham), but it's full of theological plot holes despite being a generally well made and acted film. My personal favorite film based on the Bible is the Nicholas Ray-directed and Samuel Bronston-produced King of Kings from 1961. It actually puts the life of Jesus in a political perspective and actually makes him approachable. Jeffrey Hunter's performance is terrific. And the supporting cast is fantastic - Siobhan McKenna as Mary, Robert Ryan as John the Baptist, Hurd Hatfield as Pontius Pilate, and Rip Torn as Judas Iscariot. Narration by Orson Welles. Absolutely stunning cinematography, including extensive split-diopter shots and long moving takes. There's also another great score by Miklos Rosza and the screenplay was written by Phillip Yordan (who wrote Johnny Guitar and a bunch of westerns and noir). It's an intelligent film that actually puts Jesus into political perspective of the time rather than just boring audiences with mysticism (which is why The Greatest Story Ever Told is a chore, despite the cast and pedigree). Even some miracles are portrayed without definitive answers - one is shown in shadow.
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Dec 12, 2013 18:22
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Dante Logos posted:But we don't like to talk about Job at the end of the book rather than in the middle. Great, at the end, he gets all of his stuff back, even has more kids. But then you remember that his first batch is dead, their lives ended in a single moment. You don't come back from that so easily. And job held no delusion that things were going to return back to normal. He was in sheer despair, not sure if he can recover from this. That primal feeling, and the realization that things will never be the same scares the living crap out of everyone, but especially Christians. Why? Because that will clearly mean that God isn't real or that God doesn't care about their well being. That their prayer and time spent at church and being several steps from a sociopath was a waste of time. And that is a crisis of faith that they are likely to never recover from. And that is why real conflict and real suffering will never be a part of Christian films. Because that feels like real life, and our daughter/son can die driving at night or that I can lose my job and can lose the house. That sort of stuff is scary and real and we don't want that. Even the stuff that is visceral like the post about a Mexican Christian film still have that bit of absurdity to them, even if they have this crazy scene about a botched abortion that better fits with a horror movie. The question of "Why does God let bad things happen?" has been at the center of Christian theological thinking for as long as there has been Christianity. It's something that Christians have to deal with every day if they're going to remain Christians. Being presented with that question in a film with a Christian movie isn't going to shake anyone. Christian media remind me of bad college creative writing courses. There's always someone who thinks they've got something really deep and clever to say and try to bend that into a story. Inevitably their message is shallow and stupid and they create a train wreck of a story to push it. It's not just Christian movies that reflect this, the fiction also tends to be this way. Hollismason posted:Very surprised Omega Code is not on here. It had Casper Van Deen!! Michael Ironsides!! I saw The Omega Code in the theater. It was one of the worst movie going experiences of my life. wid posted:I don't get what's going on there. Like, the earth blew up? The whole thing was just someone's lovely movie script that got stuck on a printer? That was Jesus showing up and blowing poo poo up. The printer thing was a computer that churned out the most generic interpretations of Revelations at appropriate moments in the plot. RC and Moon Pie posted:There are also a megaton of LDS-approved films out there. For some reason, I have a relative who loves the things and brings me old VHS tapes she's picked up and asks me to convert them to DVD. You can make a game out of guessing the release year. That film looks so hazy, it must be mid/late 1980s. Nope. Late 1990s. Since I'm from the wrong area of the country to have seen any Mormon films in this style, please share what they're like. I mean besides Battlestar Galactica. 
Random Stranger fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Dec 12, 2013 |
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Dec 12, 2013 18:52
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Random Stranger posted:Since I'm from the wrong area of the country to have seen any Mormon films in this style, please share what they're like. I mean besides Battlestar Galactica. I'm not a Mormon but I lived in Orem, Utah for about 3 months and have seen a couple of Mormon movies. They are, in my experience, pretty low budget, poorly acted, low camera quality movies that are pretty extremely "faithful" (as in, very Mormon-positive, religious type movies, I don't really know how to describe it better sorry). In my experience it almost feels like it's an advertisement for Mormonism, but if you are a Mormon I suppose you will like it a lot better and it will feel more natural to you.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:09
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Mormons also take normal films and go through and edit out all the naughty bits and re-sell them, not sure how legal that is.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:15
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I'm surprised no one has brought the fact that Kirk Cameron was so opposed to kissing the female lead in Fireproof, they brought his wife in, had her put on a very noticeable wig and had the two kiss that way.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:21
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Awesome Andy posted:Mormons also take normal films and go through and edit out all the naughty bits and re-sell them, not sure how legal that is. That's true. I knew an extreme Mormon who as very focused on keeping his mind pure. He was 40 years old and didn't allow himself to watch PG-13 movies. Again, I'm not a Mormon so this frustrates me because you're a grown dude, but if that is your faith, I'm not going to mess with it or argue with it. Be aware though that they do edit normal movies.
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Dec 12, 2013 19:35
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Since we're on the topic of Mormon movies I think this is relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-iTNqo5y48 If you don't want to watch the whole thing, at the minimum skip to around 3:33
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Dec 12, 2013 19:35
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Awesome Andy posted:Mormons also take normal films and go through and edit out all the naughty bits and re-sell them, not sure how legal that is. Not legal at all. I believe Cleanflix is still on Netflix Instant and is VERY much worth a watch and is about this whole thing. Don't look up too much about it, though, there's a heck of a thing that happens that you don't want to spoil.
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Dec 12, 2013 20:42
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Hollismason posted:Very surprised Omega Code is not on here. It had Casper Van Deen!! Michael Ironsides!! My brother in law talked me into seeing [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megiddo:_The_Omega_Code_2]Megiddo: The Omega Code 2[/b] with Michael Biehn and Michael York. As bad movies go it was pretty good! I almost didn't hate myself afterwards or have to lie about liking it when my BIL asked me what I thought afterwards.
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Dec 12, 2013 22:28
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Lotish posted:My brother in law talked me into seeing Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 with Michael Biehn and Michael York. Speak of the devil, I found the whole movie on Youtube. I'm going to start a review of it tomorrow. I would do it now but finals.
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Dec 12, 2013 22:30
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This thread is just reminding me of the time I went to see Extreme Days and the theme was done by TobyMac and it was  as hell.
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Dec 12, 2013 22:31
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Dante Logos posted:Fireproof
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Dec 12, 2013 22:56
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Y-Hat posted:No mention of EchoLight Studios, headed by the one and only Rick Santorum? Shameful. Nobody tell him his first movie is pretty much a ripoff of Hanukkah. I recently read about that film and how it bombed so I went to IMDB to see who was in it. More Kirk Cameron maybe? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2739338/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_5 John Hannah? Sylvester McCoy? It looks like he may have just bought the rights to a British film?
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Dec 12, 2013 23:45
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Lotish posted:My brother in law talked me into seeing Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 with Michael Biehn and Michael York. This is by far the most entertaining Christian film. Also shockingly enough, Rick Santorum isn't playing nice at Echolight and now there is a bunch of infighting and lawsuits - http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2013/10/theres_a_civil_war_at_rick_san.php
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Dec 13, 2013 01:11
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The only reason I knew about Bibleman was because of Venture Brothers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_QGEmoFhDk
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Dec 13, 2013 01:15
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Tars Tarkas posted:This is by far the most entertaining Christian film. 
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Dec 13, 2013 01:28
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Casimir Radon posted:Not quite films, but Mike Huckabee has been whoring out his new children learning DVDs since leaving office. Once you get past the horrible animation you get to the even worse message. I remember thinking that it wouldn't survive long a couple years ago when he first started, but now there are 22 DVDs I am just about incoherent with rage.
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Dec 13, 2013 01:50
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Growing up christian, I had to watch tripe like the Buttercream Gang and McGee and Me and stuff like that. I might still have some VHS tapes in a box somewhere. I remember we rated them all ourselves on a scale of G to R (kissing, hand holding) as a joke, and our parents thought we were mocking them. WE WERE MOCKING YOU, THESE ARE STUPID.
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Dec 13, 2013 06:08
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 19:17 |
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Babbies First Guide to the End of Days WARNING: I am not a theologian in any way. I only play one on TV. Feel free to correct me. So before we jump into Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, first we need to talk about the terminology that comes up a fair amount when we talk about the End of Days. People are fascinated about how things will end. Movies, TV shows, plays, your life when you get to that point. But some people really like to think farther ahead than that. Not so much the heat death of the universe, although that can be a fun scenario. But about how all things come to an end. Eschatology is a rather fascinating area of study, focusing on the end of things and the ultimate destiny of mankind. Do we go poof at the end? Do we destroy ourselves? Do we inhabit other planets and have crazy sex with green women? Talking about the final destination; the place where humanity will finally reach is interesting enough and is talked about a great deal among religious circles and even in the secular. However, we are talking about a very specific end. The end as Fundamentalists have envisioned. Which is a mixture of various kinds of scripture and non-scripture and a little bit of mysticism dabbled in it. It is a twisting and a turning and a meshing together until we have one hell of an ending. So we first start with the Ascension of Jesus. His disciples are spreading the word and living together, sharing property and the like. Why? One interpretation is that they believed that Jesus was going to come back for them in their lifetime, overthrow the Romans and bring in a new age of peace. Well, that didn't pan out. Neither did all the other times that people thought the end was coming either. See a pattern? We kinda got this notion that Jesus is going to win over evil once and for all and usher an era of peace and prosperity. Which is our climax of the story. Knowing that, we can talk about how the end start. So between the Book of Revelation and the Book of Daniel, we get this idea that there will be about 7 years of struggle where an Anti-Christ, a figure that will deceive the world and swear allegiance to the Beast. Depending on who is telling the story, the Beast and Satan is separate or they are one and the same. In the case of Megiddo, they are one in the same. But before this happens, the faithful are brought up to heaven in an Event called the Rapture. This is something that a lot of people hear about, but in reality, it is but one variation of it. In this case, it is called premillennialism. Rather than Jesus touching the ground, He just brings everyone up with Him. There are other interpretations but this is generally what End Time folks believe will happen. They and other Christians will not die and ascend into heaven. After that happens a European guy, possibly Italian, will broker peace in Israel and create a new world order that unites the world together. Together with the Catholic Church, people are brought together and then there are a few years of peace and prosperity. That said, poo poo starts to go down eventually. Plagues, death, famine, wars and the like. Then the European guy dies and is then resurrected, becoming the Anti-Christ. He was always meant to be the Anti-Christ you see, and the death enabled him to be more Christ-like which then leads people to worship him. Then in order to buy/sell stuff, they must take a mark of loyalty, which also ensures that they are closed to God for all eternity. So by the end of the 7 year period, The forces of Darkness prepare themselves for war and get utterly crushed by Jesus. You would think they would just get it over with but here we are. The interpretation is that Jesus sets up a utopia that lasts for a thousand years. Satan is sealed away during this time but is then released for one final battle. Presumably, people are still alive after all of this and some of them will be corrupted. Those that decided to serve the Devil and his servants get tossed into the Lake o' Fire, which is the second death. I take it to mean your existence goes away. The faithful get to live in Utopia 2.0 which is better than puppies and unicorns and the like. No bad things or bad feelings ever come up ever again. Why all the reference to the Catholic church and European guys. The Book of Revelations is considered to be a story about the fall of Rome. In other words, it is a completely different story from what was written in the paragraph before. So based on divine revelation, people have come up with this narrative about the End times and should it happen, it will happen in this way. Same thing with the Book of Daniel. Trippy dreams and all taken to mean something special and unique and oh wow, so this is how the world is going to end. You can see it as basically a bunch of people are scared of dying and want to be taken away by Jesus so that the mean ole sinners suffer and then die the final death. And that they know this is going to happen somehow makes them special. And you'll be right. But the thing is if the person dies, they just died before Jesus came back. It is not something that can easily be verified. If a guy gets the date wrong, then we point and laugh at them until the next prediction. But if you have the specifics up in the air, then you can hold onto hope. Which is what makes this set of beliefs so scary really. They want the story to end in a happy ending but as others have pointed out before, it is kinda freaky that Christians are OK with being picked up on the Heaven Express while everyone that they know and some that they love are suffering and may eventually be cast into the Lake of Fire. And they don't care. Next time: The cutest little Anti-Christ.
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Dec 13, 2013 07:34
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