Skunkrocker posted:

Woah woah woah wait... Vampiro?
When the gently caress did you hire Vampiro?

I Before E posted:

Oh, that's right, the Observer hasn't really been revealing hiring decisions lately. Ah well.

Skunkrocker posted:

sk, what the gently caress? You failed us on the dirt sheet scoops!

quote:

Welcome to Prograps Unlimited, Issue 6!

Good evening marks! I guess I was wrong last week...it's been a slow week in pro wrestling after all. But could it simply be the calm before a storm? Read up and decide for yourself:

Ratings Update: Congrats to WCW, who earned a record-breaking 3.11 for Nitro last week. WWF not so much, with RAW down to a 2.36.

Trash TV: Focus groups are saying that viewers just don't want the "Crash TV"-style booking that both WCW and WWF have insisted on for the past few months. There's a lot to be earned by getting everyone onto every show, but fans simply can't keep track of 30 segments over the course of a two-hour show. Vince and Ted are said to be in agreement, with both bosses demanding that promos are given the time they need to resonate with audiences.

Booty T? Not likely. The Booty Babe has been on the WCW house show circuit managing Booker T, but fan reports all agree that the pairing just didn't click. Hopefully nobody will be disappointed, then, that it likely won't be coming to a TV near you.

White Face Paint, Inc. The WWF writers are said to be big on the pairing of Doink and Vampiro at the moment. We know Doink is capable of a decent heel act, and Vampiro has been renowned for his ability as a villian in CMLL, so the pair may stand a chance yet.

Check in every Tuesday for the biggest news in the Monday Night War!

S.K.

Skunkrocker posted:

sk, what the gently caress? You failed us on the dirt sheet scoops!

AfterFather posted:

Chris Jericho and Vampiro in the same locker room.

wergeck.net posted:

Here are the spoilers for July 1996 Week 3 Saturday Night.

DARK MATCH: Mortis and The Freedom Towers (with James Mitchell) defeat Joey Maggs, "Hardwork" Bobby Walker, and Steve Armstrong when OMG pins Walker with the 747 Splash. Mortis looks strong during the bout. Walker was really off his game.

In Saturday Night's opening contest, Lex Luger and the Thrillseekers defeat Raven's Flock (Raven, Perry Saturn, and Billy Kidman). Kidman shows a lot of fire, but ultimately submits to Luger's Torture Rack.

After the match, Raven helps Kidman back to his feet...then plants him with the Evenflow DDT. He directs Saturn to pick Kidman up and carry him with them to the back; Saturn complies, slinging Kidman over his shoulder. Madusa seems way less upset by these events than one might expect.

The Giant enters the commissioner's office and tells Commissioner Curt Hennig that he believes he deserves an opportunity to reclaim his WCW World Heavyweight Championship from Arn Anderson. Hennig sympathizes with Giant and acknowledges that he was a fighting champion during his tenure with the belt; however, he notes that a new number-one contender has already been named in Sting, and Giant's contract didn't feature a rematch clause. Giant looks upset, but says he accepts the current situation. Instead, he asks Hennig for an opportunity to earn his way back to a title shot. Hennig thinks on this and says that, if Giant can defeat Anderson's personal Enforcer, Chris Benoit, at Hog Wild, he will receive a title shot. Giant smiles, saying he's run the gauntlet before, and he'll be more than happy to run through Anderson's lackey to get his hands on the champ.

The American Males defeat La Parka and Psicosis when Riggs pins Parka with a flying cross body press.

V.K. Wallstreet emerges from backstage with a microphone, admitting that the Males are a tough nut to crack. Clearly, he says, reliving old partnerships with Kevin Sullivan wasn't the answer, so Wallstreet decided to think outside the box in finding a protégé. Enter Chris Kanyon, now decked out as a flamboyant playboy. Kanyon, referring to himself as "Champagne" Chris Kanyon, says he's glad he ditched Mark Starr, and invites Bagwell or Riggs to join them in Wallstreet Enterprises. The American Males, clean cut as they are, decline. Wallstreet says their beef isn't over.

The Blue Bloods defeat Disco Inferno and The Booty Man when Duke Douglas Williams distracts Inferno, preventing him from saving Booty from submitting to the Regal Stretch. Regal looked good.

The Nobility (Regal, Eaton, and Williams) continue the beat down on Booty, and Disco is also victimized when he tries to help. The Thrillseekers, armed with hockey sticks, and Dusty Rhodes run out to make the save. WCW Commissioner Curt Hennig emerges from backstage and makes Dusty Rhodes, The Thrillseekers, Disco Inferno, and the Booty Man vs. five members of the Nobility for Hog Wild!

Glacier defeats Lt. James Earl with a Cryon-Bomb, looking extremely dominant throughout the match. James Mitchell joins the commentary team to explain his interest in Glacier, saying that Glacier's ceremonial helmet gives him great power, and that power is only growing--Glacier must be stopped before he runs roughshod over WCW. Mitchell doesn't answer directly when asked how he is so familiar with Glacier. Crowd didn't care.

Tom Billington approaches the Thrillseekers backstage and thanks them for their intervention on Nitro, saving him from the Nobility, just as they saved Disco Inferno and The Booty Man tonight. He says that, while he thinks the Nobles are a bunch of hooligans, the Thrillseekers represent the best of wrestling, the spirit of hard-hitting Canadian fortitude, and remind him of his own days in Stampede Wrestling. With that in mind, he offers to represent them as a manager. Cage and Storm humbly thank Billington for his compliments and acknowledge that Dynamite Kid highlight reels are basically required viewing for Canadian boys; as such, they graciously accept his managerial services.

Diamond Dallas Page defeats Brian Knobbs with the Diamond Cutter.

Dusty Rhodes interviews Hulk Hogan ahead of his match tonight with Jerry Sags. A video recap calls back to the run-up to Slamboree, where Hogan decked Sags with a punch for confronting him over his egomania, with Randy Savage intervening to keep things from getting out of hand. Hogan says Sags will get what's been coming to him tonight, just like Randy Savage will get what's coming to him at Hog Wild. In fact, Hogan may make an example of Sags tonight, sacrificing him to the Yappapi strapmaster gods, and he hopes Savage tries to play hero again--he'll be next on the sacrificial altar, brother.

Hulk Hogan defeats Jerry Sags with a legdrop to retain the AWA World Heavyweight Title. Hogan and Sags have great chemistry!

Hogan retrieves his weight-lifting belt and lays a couple of lashes into the downed Jerry Sags, but Savage, still with his broken arm in a cast, runs out with a biker chain wrapped around his good fist! Hogan decides discretion is the better part of valor and flees when Savage enters the ring. Hogan holds the weight belt in the air, and Savage brandishes the chain; the commentators remind fans to cast their votes for the Fans' Choice Match!

Sting cuts a promo in the ring, declaring that he was outsmarted by the New Horsemen, but he's learned his lesson, and is now on guard against all four of them. Flair and Windham make their way to the ring, where they tell Sting he needs backup. Sting angrily refutes them, saying he doesn't need either of them to stab him in the back anymore. Sting storms off, leaving Flair and Windham in the ring for their main event match. Windham performed poorly in this segment.

MAIN EVENT: Ric Flair and Barry Windham defeat The Shark and Hugh Morrus (with Jimmy Hart) when Flair makes Morrus submit to the figure-four leglock. Flair and Windham are generally booked to look like worldbeaters.

The Outsiders rush the ring in an effort to get the jump on Flair and Windham post-match, but both faces grab chairs and swing over the ropes to deter Hall and Nash from entering the ring. A tense staredown ends the show.

General reaction to this show: C

Usenet Poster bobbypissbrain@hotmail.net posted:

We had 4 dark matches this time, less than usual. The first one had Chris Jericho and Roddy Piper defeating the Crazy Clown Boys or something, and this was actually pretty awesome. the clowns had pretty great team chemistry, and the Brave Lions were good as always.
Steve Austin beat 123 Kid in a glorified squash. Eh.
Then Vampiro, Jerry Lynn, and Tatanka beat Tall, Jewish, and Modest when Jerry Lynn pinned Barry Horowitz. Eh.
After that, Vader beat Dave Taylor in a competitive match. Pretty good fun.

Then the cameras started.
Goldust and Undertaker skit: DEAD JAM, a Shattered Dreams production. Goldust, Undertaker, Mankind and TMPT as the Monstars trounce a set of foolish and incompetent WWF faces, led by Michael Wardon, whose incomprehensible but emphatic halftime speech to the team leaves them lost. Goldust sinks the game-winning dunk in his signature entrance slo-mo. Goldust, Taker, and the heels all celebrate, with Goldust hoisting the MITB briefcase above his head.

GOLDUST AND UNDERTAKER WILL RETURN THIS SUNDAY IN MONEY IN THE BANK. I love these videos, and the crowd did too.

HHH beat Scott Taylor with a Pedigree in a meh match.
Hype video: Dave Taylor and Roddy Piper are having a drinking contest in a pub. They match each other drink for drink. At the end, they're both barely staying upright, surrounded by empty shot and pint glasses. Roddy: "Ya know, kid, yer alright." Dave: "You too, geezer." Then they both collapse onto the table. Dave Taylor: A Real Man's Man. Very fun little video.
Doink, now sporting new theme music with some sort of vocals over it, beat Jammin' Jamie Noble with the Stump Puller, which he now calls the Hatchet Hold. They work pretty well together, but this was a piss break for the most part.
Then the announcers hyped the main, where Goldust, Skunkrocker, and Tajiri would face Warrior, Mero, and Liger in a trios match. Not really a crowd-pleaser, probably because too many people were in the video.
Tom Pritchard and the Gunns lost to the Dudleyz and Bradshaw after the Dudleyz choked and 3D'd Bart Gunn while Bradshaw argued with the ref, then let Bradshaw pin him for the 3. Eeeeh.
Rick Martel, in Warrior's facepaint, gives a ranting promo about matching your belt to your shoes and not wearing clashing colors. It was alright.
Sid beat Bob Holly with a Sycho Bomb in an OK match.
Recap of the Owen/HBK feud, focusing on the constant ambushes by Cornette's Camp. I can't wait to see where this goes.
Owen Hart beat Rick Martel after putting his feet on the ropes. Very fun match
Then we got a MITB hype video, with Ted Dibiase narrating over match footage of the contestants: Goldust, Skunkrocker, Tajiri, Warrior, Mero, and Liger. He talks about how careers can be ended in ladder matches, how people can be broken, scarred, even mortally wounded. But the reward of a free WWF Title shot at any time is worth the risk. Eeeeeh, this didn't really do it for the crowd.
Then we got the main: Goldust, Skunkrocker, and Tajiri v. Warrior, Mero, and Liger. Warrior kept trying to get to Goldust, but Goldust always squirmed out of his grasp. They eventually brawled out of the ring and both got counted out. Alright, but not as good as it could be if Mero wasn't off his game.
Contract signing for HBK/Owen, HBK enters with Jericho and Piper at his side as backup, and is visibly nervous, his eyes darting around for any ambush. Cornette, Owen, and Bulldog are still smarting from Raw, and Vader is confident, almost cocky. HBK and Owen sit at the table looking over the contract, and both sign it, their respective backup groups keeping an eye on each other the whole time.. As they're getting up, each man begins to make moves towards attacking the other, but neither actually go through with it. Once HBK turns his back, Vader hits him with a clothesline, beginning a massive brawl, with Vader the only one left standing. Very fun.
After the cameras went off, Shawn Michaels and this big guy in red beat Undertaker and British Bulldog when HBK pinned Bulldog after the guy in red hit him with a massive choke slam, followed up by an elbow drop from Michaels. Nobody really cared since they were leaving already, and it looked like Bulldog wasn't very happy about losing.

A C+ show to get us in the mood for MITB. Kind of a step down, but eh, it's a B-show.

I Before E posted:

Poster by Happyman

This Sunday, thrill, chill, and spill, as one of the most heart-stopping Pay-Per-View events in WWF history unfolds!

-The WWF sees its most dangerous match, as 6 men battle for a guaranteed WWF Title shot in a briefcase suspended 20 feet above the ring!
--The Ultimate Warrior, hellbent on bringing justice to the Hollywood Horrorshow, Goldust!
--Goldust, the Silver Screen Sensation, with his unstoppable undead monster by his side!
--Marc Mero, the wildman!
--Skunkrocker, the revenge-obsessed former partner of the current WWF Champion!
--Jushin Thunder Liger, the High-flying Hero of Japan!
--Yoshihiro Tajiri, Kaientai's most dangerous weapon!
-Shawn Michaels defends his WWF Title against Owen Hart in a steel cage!
-The Smoking Gunns, the Two Man Power Trip, and Those drat Dudleyz in a Three Way Tag Title Dance!
-Sycho Sid faces the Model, Rick Martel!
-The Malevolent, Macabre Mankind takes on the Fighting Irishman, Dave Finlay, in a submission match!
-It's David versus Goliath as the Lionheart, Chris Jericho, faces the Mastodon, Vader, in a grudge match after their MITB Qualifier ended in a double DQ!
-The British Bulldog takes on Rowdy Roddy Piper!
-Dr. Tom Pritchard defends his Intercontinental Title against Justin Hawk Bradshaw!
-Yokozuna, the Amazin' Asian, faces Hakushi, the de facto head of the devious Kaientai organization!
All this and more, only in the WWF!

Skunkrocker posted:

*ahem*
You're using my art assets.

I Before E posted:

My apologies, the post has been edited to give proper credit.

Skunkrocker posted:

Um, thanks. I do appreciate it.

I Before E posted:

It was your photoshop, and we'd used it without proper credit. It's a matter of principle.

Skunkrocker posted:

I actually expected you to tell me to go gently caress myself.

I Before E posted:

Sanguinia posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2C_caGF1Ak

Hey, yo, watcha gonna do?

Sanguinia posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2C_caGF1Ak

Hey, yo, watcha gonna do?

Usenet User Silverscreensensation@hotmail.net posted:

We had 6 dark matches this time.
-First one had the Insane Clown Posse squashing 123 Kid
-Then Jerry Lynn, Dirty White Boy, Gary Albright and Samu lost to Phatu, Michael Modest, Matt Hardy and Bob Holly when Phatu pinned Dirty White Boy
-Dave Taylor lost to Tatanka in an even match
-The Can-Am Connection squashed 123 Kid
-Jake Roberts and that loser Edge beat Doink and Vampiro
-And then Undertaker beat the red dude from the Superstars tapings in an even match, longer than the usual dark matches
These were all bad to alright.

Tom Prichard retained his title against Bradshaw to begin the show in an eh match.
Then we had a hype video for Piper/Bulldog showing Bulldog trying to interfere in the Vader/Jericho match on Raw and Piper trying to stop him. This was good.
Bulldog beat Piper pretty handily, though Piper really had a few moments where it looked like he had it done. This was probably the second best match of the night.
Dave Taylor hype video. Taylor and Shawn Michaels are backstage, training. They train all their grappling fundamentals to better prepare Shawn to face Owen Hart, each observing good sportsmanship, and at the end, they shake hands. Dave Taylor: A Real Man's Man. This was about the most well-received of the Taylor shorts so far.
Then we had the 3 Way Dance for the tag belts. Each team had a man in, and TMPT and the Dudleyz pretty much took turns double teaming Gunns in their respective corners. There were a lot of pinfall breakups. It ended when Austin got a pin on Bart Gunn while the Dudleyz were 3Ding Billy on the outside, and the Two Man Power Trip are your new WWF Tag Team Champions. This was good, though the Dudleyz seemed a little off.
TMPT cut a short postmatch promo about how they've proven they are the most powerful tag team in the WWF, and if anyone thinks they can match them, they're welcome to play the game, but they'd better be ready to lose. This was also good.
We had a Yoko/Hakushi/Fuji hype video, going over Kaientai's attempts to destroy Yokozuna before Yoko/Hakushi, which was aback and forth match until Yokozuna gets the upper hand, then Kaientai runs in and attacks him. Liger runs in and he and Yokozuna run them off. The package and match were okay, but the runin was poorly recieved.

Backstage: Piper, beaten down from his match with Bulldog, gives Jericho a pep talk, even as he struggles to stand. This was pretty rad, actually.
Chris Jericho w/ Roddy Piper vs. Vader w/ Jim Cornette.

Jericho spends the first minute attempting to get kicks in on Vader while avoiding grappling range. He doesn't do any substantial damage, and Vader's imposing figure pushes and shoves him around the ring. Jericho tries another kick and Vader grabs the foot, but Jericho launches into an enziguri with the other foot and nails Vader in the head! Gaining momentum, Jericho continues attacking with precise strikes, but gets too confident and gets caught with a big lariat. Vader kicks a downed Jericho then tries a running splash, but gets taken down with a drop toehold and Jericho locks in the Walls!

While in the hold, Vader screams "No pain! No pain!" like a mantra and refuses to tap - however, to his surprise, he can't power out of the hold. Instead, he pulls himself to the rope and reaches it. He staggers to his feet, and desperation starts flashing across Jericho's face as Vader rushes him and lays a beatdown, again yelling "No pain!". Jericho tries a desperation Codebreaker, but Vader catches him and hits a big powerbomb for the pinfall. This was good, and you can see that they have good chemistry.

Mankind/Finlay hype video. We see Mankind tapping out Daniels and Taylor, and we see Finlay resisting his Mandible Claw. We see Mankind becoming angrier and angrier as Finlay refuses to tap.
Mankind/Finlay, Submission Match, Mankind starts the match going on the offensive, lots of shots to the face. Finlay stays on the defensive, trying to slow Mankind down with shots to the legs. After he's able to reverse an Irish Whip into the ring steps, Finlay is able to be more aggressive with Mankind, going for weapon shots, mainly aiming for the legs. He applies the Celtic Knot a few times, but Mankind refuses to tap. Mankind applies the Mandible Claw a few times throughout the match, but Finlay refuses to tap. Mankind finally goes over after hitting the Double Arm DDT into a table and applying the Mandible Claw to Finlay's now injured face. Finlay refuses to tap, and passes out from the pain. The ref stops the match, and Mankind is declared the winner. This was not very good, actually, as neither guy really fit the style of the match.
Mankind keeps attacking Finlay post-match, enraged that he didn't tap out. This was better received.
Goldust/Taker/Warrior hype vid: FROM BELL TILL BELL, A Shattered Dreams Production. Goldust as Seth and Taker as Gecko fight their way through a bar full of Warrior-vampires, ending with Goldust climbing a ladder in the middle of the bar to grab the MITB Briefcase.

AND NOW... YOUR FEATURE PRESENTATION: MONEY IN THE BANK. This was a good video.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Tajiri vs. Marc Mero vs. Goldust vs. Skunkrocker vs. Jushin Liger vs. The Ultimate Warrior. Goldust comes out holding a small cloth bag, which he puts down near one of the ring steps.

As the bell rings, a brawl begins in the middle of it, but Tajiri quickly gets out of the ring and grabs a ladder. As he hoists it up to throw it, Mero launches a drop kick from the outside into the ladder, nailing Tajiri. Mero then grabs the ladder himself and throws it in. Skunkrocker is the first to start climbing but Warrior grabs him and goes for a gorilla press. Goldust interrupts Warrior with an uppercut and Skunkrocker gets dropped outside of the ring.

Liger and Tajiri climb the ladder from opposite sides as Warrior and Goldust brawl to the outside. Tajiri attempts to clothesline Liger off of the ladder, but Liger ducks and hoists Tajiri up for the Liger Bomb off the ladder! Both men take a big bump but Liger staggers to his feet and starts climbing again. Skunkrocker tries to tip the ladder but Liger already grabbed the briefcase and is hanging from it trying to unhook it! Marc Mero climbs the turnbuckle and hits a huge dropkick on Liger, taking him back down.

Ladders are set up adjacently to each other and Mero, Goldust, Warrior and Skunkrocker climb up. Tajiri pulls Warrior off and starts beating him up in the corner, setting him up upside down on the turnbuckle. Goldust sees a chance, and missile dropkicks Warrior in his nether regions off the ladder! Warrior, in intense pain, rolls out of the ring. As Goldust sits back up from the attack he takes a Buzzsaw Kick from Tajiri, followed by a Shooting Star Press off the ladder by Liger! Goldust, barely mobile, crawls out between the ropes and reaches for a bag he planted by the ring when he entered.

Skunkrocker and Marc Mero have climbed over to the same ladder and both are trying to push the other man off. Liger grabs a prone ladder in the ring and lifts it to set it up, but Skunkrocker powerbombs Mero into the ladder, taking out both him and Liger! Skunkrocker reaches for the briefcase, but Tajiri pushes the ladder down and Skunkrocker lands on the outside.

Goldust gets hold of the bag he was reaching for... and takes out the urn! He staggers up, climbs a turnbuckle and holds the urn up high in triumph. His opponents turn towards him in shock, realizing what's about to happen as a familiar GONG sounds off and the lights go out.

They come back on and Undertaker is in there clearing the ring! He throws Mero and over the top rope, big boots Tajiri and hits Liger with a Tombstone, but Warrior comes rushing in and starts laying into The Undertaker with big rights, then lifting him up for the gorilla press! Goldust sets up a ladder while Warrior is distracted and begins climbing, but Warrior climbs up the other side and reaches for the briefcase. Undertaker recovers and pulls Warrior off the ladder, straight into a chokeslam. Goldust is free to grab the briefcase. This, uh... this wasn't as good as it could have been. Liger did a pretty amazing bump, but this was a huge disappointment overall.

Martel/Sid started with a lot of brawling, with Martel going for the legs to weaken Sid for the Boston Crab. Eventually, Sid tried a Sycho Bomb, but had it reversed into a rollup for 2. After that, he brought out a chair, and Sycho Bombed Martel right onto it. It wasn't open or anything, but his back landed straight on it. Sid got DQ'd right after. This was better than the previous match.

Before the main main event, we got a video package of the Owen/HBK feud.

Owen/HBK was a real technical match. Owen comes out swinging right off the bat as the bell rings. Bringing out the big guns early, Owen takes Shawn down to the mat goes to the top rope for a missile dropkick, but HBK is on the ball, hitting a running forearm on Owen on the ropes, and performing a superplex! Michaels begins tuning up the band in the corner, but Jim Cornette grabs his arm, buying time for Owen to get back in the matchup.

They go at it evenly for a while longer, Owen kicking out of a high cross body and HBK breaking out of a camel clutch. Sixteen minutes into the matchup, Michaels is bloodied after a nasty-looking bump against the cage wall. Owen continues his assault with hard right hands, when Michaels ducks, making Owen punch the steel bar. Michaels goes for a bridging suplex! Owen stays alive, but eats a double axe handle to the head as he staggers up. Michaels climbs the turnbuckle... and all the way up to the top of the cage for an elbow drop! He gets big air on the jump and connects. 1... 2... Owen kicks out!

HBK is in despair as Owen stands up once again and goes on the attack. HBK refuses to go on the defensive, and a fast-paced series of moves begins, ending with a gutwrench suplex from Owen. Michaels kicks out, so a worn-out and frustrated Owen immideately steps over the leg for the Sharpshooter... but HBK yanks Owen's legs out and locks his own legs shut for the Figure-4! The crowd goes nuts! Both men are shocked at what's happening, but Owen has nowhere to go and is forced to tap out. A smile spreads across Michaels's beaten and bloodied face as the winner is announced.

As HBK staggered to his feet, and hoisted his title high, Vader Time began to play, and Shawn's eyes widened as Vader came down, ripped the door off the cage, and beat HBK down. The video package, match, and postmatch stuff were all loving great, even if Owen wasn't a great fit for brawling cage stuff.

Despite the disappointing MITB match, this was a B show. drat good.

Golden Bee posted:

Thank god MITB ended in a post match brawl

Shogunate posted:

What was the actual rating for the MitB match? How much did it drag the show down by?

Also you have made me so hyped for the debut of Dave Taylor, such a man.

Great White Hope posted:

Why is WWF once again using WCW properties in their advertisements?

wergeck.net posted:

Here are the results for Nitro for July Week 4, 1996.

DARK MATCH: Ric Flair and Barry Windham defeat Mark Starr and The Mauler when Flair makes Starr submit to the figure-four. Flair and Windham control almost the entirety of the bout and look to be having a great time out there. Starr seemed off, while Flair looked good.

DARK MATCH: Rob Van Dam and Sabu (with Bill Alfonso) defeat the State Patrol when Sabu pins Parker with the Triple Jump Moonsault. Alfonso slides in a chair near the match's conclusion to allow Sabu to vault off it for the finish.

DARK MATCH: Jeff Jarrett, Dan "The Beast" Severn, and Terry Gordy defeat Steve "Mongo" McMichael, Steve Armstrong, and Taka Michinoku when Jarrett uses the Gracie Special on Michinoku. Gordy looks particularly tough when he's involved in the match.

In show-opening eight-man tag action, The Nobility (King Steven Regal, Earl Robert Eaton, Baron Alexander Wright, and Duke Douglas Williams) defeat The Thrillseekers (with Tom Billington) and The American Males. VK Wallstreet and Chris Kanyon appear during the contest, assaulting Marcus Bagwell on the floor with the steel briefcase. The Thrillseekers are distracted by this and try to run them off, leaving Scotty Riggs alone in the ring to be downed by a vicious knee trembler from Regal. Despite the loss, The Thrillseekers continue their trend of looking exceptionally strong against the Nobles. Wright and Regal were a little off their game, and Williams was a little off. Regal looked excellent.

WCW Commissioner Curt Hennig, in the ring with El Hijo del Santo and Dean Malenko, the two finalists of the Cruiserweight Title tournament who will meet at Hog Wild for the vacant title, announces a Pick Your Poison series between the two men. Pick Your Poison, Hennig clarifies, involves selecting a singles opponent for the other competitor. Malenko chooses his former tag team partner, Chris Benoit, noting that he refuses to pick a masked man to do his dirty work. El Hijo del Santo chooses the man Malenko could not beat and a proud Mexican, Konnan. Both matches will take place next week. Malenko takes the opportunity to complain about his scheduled contest next teaming with the masked Psicosis, but Hennig brushes him off and departs.

In a rematch from Bash at the Beach, El Hijo del Santo and Rey Misterio Jr. defeat Dean Malenko and Psicosis. Malenko looks sharp, but he doesn't cooperate well with Psicosis, and finds himself too busy tearing at Misterio's mask on the floor to rescue Psicosis from Santo's La de a Caballo. Psicosis submits. Dean Malenko and Psicosis continue to impress as a tag team.

Malenko continues tearing at Misterio's mask and screams that masks need to be purged from wrestling. Santo dives out to the floor to rescue Misterio, laying in punches on Malenko until the referee pulls him off.

Backstage, "Mean" Gene Okerlund talks to James + James, who tonight are dressed like Roddy Piper and Chris Jericho, only supplemented with baby bonnets and diapers. Both Maritato and James appear to be mock-crying, and Okerlund prompts them to explain why. James "Piper" Maritato explains that he's wrestled for two decades and his biggest claim to fame is not being able to beat Hulk Hogan, while Brian "Jericho" James says he's wrestled all over the world and people keep mistaking him, with his long girly hair, for a female pop star. James continues, "Because though you may commonly know us as the team of James + James, tonight, we are..." Okerlund holds up a hand to pause the display, then concludes, "Tonight, you are...Cryin'-heart?" Maritato puts his baby bonnet on Okerlund's head as Brian James pats Okerlund on the back, noting, "You're getting pretty good at this, Gene!" He sticks a pacifier in Okerlund's mouth as well and departs with Maritato.

Cryin'-heart (James + James) defeat the Public Enemy when Brian James hits a pumphandle slam on Rock, then applies a Liontamer for the submission.

Backstage, Ric Flair and Barry Windham talk to the Giant about his upcoming match against Chris Benoit at Hog Wild, suggesting perhaps they could watch his back. The Giant laughs them off, saying he beat the Dungeon of Doom alone and certainly doesn't need backup to take out Benoit on his way back to the World Heavyweight Title. He notes he teams with Sting tonight against The Outsiders and looks forward to getting his hands on the New Horsemen, but Kevin Sullivan had stepped on his neck for too long not to teach him a lesson--he's not interested in permanent alliances anymore.

Lex Luger defeats Sir Norman Smiley. King Steven Regal tries to distract Luger during the bout, but Lex simply grins and racks Smiley for the victory. The paranoia and depression that have racked Luger for months seem to have subsided, and his confidence is evident.

Teddy Long and Ron Simmons approach the Faces of Fear backstage, and Long notes that, while once Simmons and Barbarian were enemies who battled in the "ghetto odds" match and for the World Heavyweight Title, tonight, they are on the same side. Meng interjects, brusquely noting that Simmons and Long don't have to worry about them holding up their end of the six-man tag team match--the Faces of Fear want to teach Harlem Heat a lesson about knowing their place. They had so many chances at the Tag Team Championships, in Meng's estimation, and immediately they are talking about climbing back to the top of the ladder. Barbarian agrees, noting that it's time to move aside for other superior teams, like the Faces of Fear, or be made to move aside. Simmons cuts in, noting that's all fine, "but Too Cold Scorpio is MINE." The edge in his voice leaves all parties with nothing left to do but nod.

Harlem Heat and Too Cold Scorpio (with Bill Alfonso) defeat Ron Simmons (with Teddy Long) and The Faces of Fear. Simmons looks strong during the match, physically dominating every time he is in the ring, but Scorpio slips out of a Dominator and rolls him up for a flash pinfall. Simmons looks shocked; Scorpio and Alfonso throw up X's triumphantly! Scorpio was off his game.

Randy Savage gives an update in the ring on the Fans' Choice Match--Fans Bring The Weapons continues to lead the voting, and "it's gonna be sweet irony when I use the implements Hogan's own 'Hulkamaniacs' bring with them to beat a hole in his leathery hide and take his Hulkamania World Title, ohhhhhhh yeahhhh." Hulk Hogan shows up with the AWA World Heavyweight Championship and a Yappapi Indian Strap, taunting Savage and reinforcing his favored gimmick. Savage wasn't as good as previous times.

Arn Anderson defeats Eddy Guerrero with a spinebuster in a non-title contest. The commentators talk during the match about Guerrero's big showing against the New Horsemen in last week's eight-man tag, and he gives Anderson all he can handle again here, but Arn still ultimately wins clean.

Anderson takes a microphone and advises Sting that he can look to Eddy Guerrero's fallen form as a warning about his own future, noting that this is just a taste of what Sting will receive at Hog Wild. Sting appears on the stage with a microphone, countering that he will say the same to Anderson once he has made an example out of the Outsiders tonight. He says he is sick and tired of the Horsemen--any version of them--victimizing WCW and drawing it into their web of lies, deceit, backstabbing, and violence. Sting promises he will be the man to tear that web apart once and for all at Hog Wild.

Backstage, Scott and Rick Steiner have a chat. Scott says he's disappointed Rick lost to Road Warrior Hawk last week, as the Steiners should make an impression ahead of their Tag Team Title challenge at Hog Wild. Rick acknowledges this and apologizes, and Scott doesn't belabor the point, but does note that he intends to succeed where Rick failed. "I been thinkin' a lot lately big brother. I'm one flawless specimen. I mean, look at this physique! Look at these arms!" He does a few flexes for Rick's benefit, who seems a bit weirded out. "Who could possibly stand up to all this? I'm more than a man. We came from the same parents, but compared to you... I mean no offense, but if you're as tough as a normal man can get, I've gotta be some kind of... genetic freak!" Rick raises his eyebrows, and simply replies by saying, "Well... no offense taken, little brother. I guess." Scott playfully shoves his brother, all pumped up after his speech. "You just watch Rick. I'm gonna go out there and put the Road Warriors in their place. Just listen to the crowd. After I get done, you're gonna hear them holla!"

V.K. Wallstreet and "Champagne" Chris Kanyon, now known collectively as Wallstreet Enterprises, defeat the Rock 'n Roll Express when Kanyon hits a reverse legsweep faceslam on Gibson. Kanyon looks exceedingly impressive with his offensive display--where was this guy during his Men At Work tenure? Apparently, the change in lifestyle suits him.

The American Males are out for revenge from earlier in the night, brawling with Wallstreet Enterprises. Bagwell and Riggs get the better of the exchange, sending Kanyon and Wallstreet running.

Scott Steiner defeats Road Warrior Animal by submission with a new finisher, the Steiner Recliner.

Steiner continues to apply the hold to Animal following the match, so Road Warrior Hawk runs out to break it up. Hawk and Scott come to blows, which brings out Rick Steiner, who ends up fighting a resurgent Animal.

We reset for the main event with a dance interlude featuring the lovely Nitro Girl, Beulah McGillicutty, and the music of rap artist Tupac Shakur.

MAIN EVENT: The Outsiders defeat Sting and The Giant when Benoit hits the Giant with a chair behind the referee's back, allowing Nash to hit a massive Jackknife for the pinfall. Sting looks strong throughout the contest.

Arn Anderson joins the New Horsemen in the ring to beat up Sting and Giant, with he and the Outsiders putting the boots to the Stinger and Benoit applying the Crippler Crossface to Giant. Finally, all are run off by Ric Flair and Barry Windham, who are armed with chairs. As the New Horsemen retreat, Sting, pulling himself back to his feet, yells at Flair and Windham for meddling with his affairs, which closes out the show. Nash and Anderson looked great, Benoit and Windham continue to underperform.

Easily a B show.

wcwwrestling.com posted:

Wrestling fans! Hog Wild looks to be another classic WCW event, held at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in Sturgis, South Dakota. But there is a special match where you, the fan, can decide the stipulation! The Hulkster, Hulk Hogan and "Macho Man" Randy Savage will have one last match for the AWA World "Hulkamania" Champinship. Polls have opened here on wcwwrestling.com to determine what kind of match these two will face off in!

-Ambulance Match - 9%
-Biker Chain on a Pole Match - 0%
-Fans Bring the Weapons - 73%
-No Disqualification - 0%
-Yappapi Indian Strap Match - 18%

Vote now! If you can't find the poll here on wcwwrestling.com, just type it in the thread! You know, the one you're in right now!

Usenet User Dankensteiner@hotmail.net posted:

Dark Match: Dudleys vs. Tall and Jewish, D-Von pins Horowitz after a 3D. Dull.
Dark Match: Vampiro, Dirty White Boy & Jerry Lynn vs. Scott Taylor, Phatu & Michael Modest, Vampiro pins Taylor. Dull.
Dark Match: Red dude from Superstars tapings/Tatanka, Tatanka goes over. Dull.
Dark match: Dave Taylor/Tajiri, Taylor goes over. Dull.
Dark Match: TMPT vs. 123 kid, HHH pins Kid in a decent match.
Jim Cornette comes out, fuming, to cut a promo on HBK. He talks about how he may have beaten Bulldog, and he may have beaten Owen, but there's no way he can beat Vader at Summerslam. Owen may have been a master technician, and Bulldog may have been a master brawler, but Vader is a monster at his core. Shawn Michaels may break hearts, but Vader breaks souls. Good.
Doink vs. Edge. Edge gets out of several Hatchet Hold attempts, making Doink increasingly frustrated, until he grabs a chair and tries to hit Edge with it. Edge evades, but falls over the ropes, and lands on the floor, where he remains, clearly hurt, until he is counted out. eh.
Rick Martel and Dave Finlay are on Inside The Actors' Studio, talking to Goldust about how while they may have been laid low at Money In The Bank, they walked away with a moral victory, Martel by not stooping to Sid's tactics, and Finlay by not giving up until the very end. Mankind and Sid come out to rebut: "Moral victory, my rear end! The only victory that matters is the one in the record books! And since those pansy rear end refs disqualified me for taking it to you raw, I want a rematch! no gimmicks, no objects, just me and this guy beating your asses! TONIGHT!" This was at the high end of decent, but Finlay was a dumper. Everyone else seemed to be decent at improvising, especially Mankind.
Brave Lions go over Steve Blackman & Gary Albright, Jericho pins Albright in a decent match where Piper looked excellent.
Hype video: Dave Taylor is, reluctantly, on an outing with Dave Finlay and Hillbilly Jim. They catch frogs, wrestle dogs, and go catfisting. He will suffer indignity because he is their friend. Dave Taylor: A Real Man's Man. Not as good as the usual Taylor segments.
Bradshaw v. Brooklyn Brawler, Bradshaw goes over in a poo poo match that really bummed the crowd down.
Warrior comes out with Paul Bearer to cut a promo on Goldust and The Undertaker, challenging them to a tag team match at Summerslam where Warrior will team up with an as yet unknown wrestler in a good promo as good as Warrior's usual.
Warrior/Bob Backlund, Warrior goes over in an alright match.
TMPT brag and pose with their shiny new belts. This was alright
IC Title Match: Dr. Tom Prichard vs. Phatu, Prichard goes over. (open match, all out match, pinfall victory, 8 minutes) Afterward, Phatu looks unhappy at losing wrestling matches. Eh.
After the match, Tatanka comes out and breaks a war drum over Prichard's head, which should make an awesome sound. Tatanka then makes belt gestures around his waist. Eh.
Pre-taped video, Warrior's logo as background. Road Rage, each wearing the Ultimate Warrior's facepaint, give a Warrior-style promo telling children of the importance of looking both ways before crossing the street, and of never jaywalking. Eh.
Cornette's Camp v. 3 Count, Cornette's Camp go over when Vader Vaderbombs Jamie Noble in a dull match where Cornette's Camp looked good.
Post-match, Owen Hart brags about being better than his brother. He's younger, he's more willing to take chances, and when he loses a match to Shawn Michaels, he doesn't take a vacation, he comes back with a renewed intensity. This promo was good.
Sid/Mankind vs. Martel/Finlay, Heels go over after Sid hits a Sycho Bomb on Finlay through the announce table, incapacitating him so Martel can get worked over by Sid and Mankind until he taps to the Mandible Claw in a decent match.
Sid and Mankind laugh over Martel's carcass to end the segment. This was good.
Goldust comes out for his Acceptance Speech after winning the Money In The Bank briefcase. Before he comes out, an assortion of midcarders/jobbers come out and surround the ring with chairs, giving him an audience. He and his Undertaker come out to his music, and he tearfully thanks everyone who helped him get where he is today: "I'd like to thank everyone who helped me to win the Money In The Bank contract. There's me, of course. Myself. Moi. And of course, where would I be without *my* Undertaker here?" He goes on to mock everyone else in the MITB match, going so long that they start to play his music to get him to leave, movie-esque camera effect from his entrance and all. Warrior attempts to get the drop on him, but Taker takes him out, Tombstoning him to end the segment as Goldust cackles over Warrior's body. This segment was great.
HBK/Hakushi, HBK goes over in a decent match. HBK looked good as always.
After the match, Vader comes out to beat up HBK. After he's beat up HBK, he turns to Jose Lothario. As HBK watches helplessly, he powerbombs Jose into the announce table. This segment was cool.

All said, a B- show.

Golden Bee posted:

WWF should be disqualified. As good as they've gotten with Goldust, Dave Taylor hasn't technically debuted.

Abrasive Obelisk posted:

Says the team that passed up the chance to get at least 2 more new people.

Abrasive Obelisk posted:

Says the team that passed up the chance to get at least 2 more new people.

CaptainYesterday posted:

We aren't interesting in giving Steve Lombardi the world title, thank you very much.