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11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?
Hello AI. In all the time I have spent on AI, I have seen you post your sports cars, muscle cars, beater cars, and project cars. They're either big and brawny, or slim and sporty. But there's something missing, something substantial...





That's right, the great, lumbering, girthy, long American luxobarge of the 1970's, the era of big cars, big engines, low power, and disgustingly tacky but ridiculously comfy interiors, not to mention opera windows, vinyl roofs, tire humps, velour seats, shag carpets, brown pain, hood ornaments... the list goes on. There are so many things wrong with these cars, but you gotta admit, it's hard to be mad when the inside looks like this:



So AI, I want you to discuss your boats, share your experiences, and give our friends on the other side of the pond a taste of cars that have proven themselves to be seaworthy.

11BulletCatcher fucked around with this message at 04:42 on Dec 21, 2013

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Rannison
Sep 18, 2007

Yaaaa. I want that car.

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009


Now this, i am down with. Here's mine.




And here is what it is and what it holds. Forget having to look through the manual for fluid capacities, this is right under the hood.



And the interior, complete with green shag carpet.


And the engine is naturally as big as the rest. 7.5 liter v8 with a thundering 212hp.


And here it is making a F350 crew cab look small.

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?
Man, I was just looking at one of those in Tampa the other week. Course, I've decided on a 1977 Mercury Cougar. I don't have any pics of my own yet, as I'm waiting to purchase in February, but I have the seller's pics:











Gotta love for Ford shoved the fake wheel hump onto everything in the 70's.

Terrible Robot
Jul 2, 2010

FRIED CHICKEN
Slippery Tilde
Two of my cousins had yachts for first cars. First one got a '72 Pontiac LeMans 4 door, literally driven by an old grandma to church once a week. Unfortunately an entire lifetime in Pennsylvania had made the frame swiss cheese and it had to be scrapped a few years later. His little sister just got a '69 Pontiac Catalina, it is laaaaaarge, and thankfully in better shape structurally than the LeMans.

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?

Terrible Robot posted:

Two of my cousins had yachts for first cars. First one got a '72 Pontiac LeMans 4 door, literally driven by an old grandma to church once a week. Unfortunately an entire lifetime in Pennsylvania had made the frame swiss cheese and it had to be scrapped a few years later. His little sister just got a '69 Pontiac Catalina, it is laaaaaarge, and thankfully in better shape structurally than the LeMans.

Is it me, or do 70's cars have a harder time with rust than 60's cars?

Viggen
Sep 10, 2010

by XyloJW
This is making me miss my '85 Cutlass Brougham. It wasn't quite as large or gawdy, but it was also fairly gutless, had a delicious v8 rumble, and was the perfect 60/40 split bench to pass out on.

InterceptorV8
Mar 9, 2004

Loaded up and trucking.We gonna do what they say cant be done.
Doin' 120 blowin over mailboxes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR-VuDc61aE

Mighty Horse
Jul 24, 2007

Speed, Class, Bankruptcy.
I love me some 70's boats.

Best part is now we have the technology to breathe some life back into these smogged to death 70's motors.

I have always had a thing for the Chrysler Cordoba ever since my dad had one as a kid.



Factory CB....how awesome is that?



Some minor engine work can wake up the formerly 135 HP 360s most of these came with and put them at around 350 HP with very little trouble and better MPG to boot.



And let us not forget the Chrysler Imperial. The only car to ever be banned by every demolition derby because it could not be killed.

SFH1989
Apr 23, 2007

I'm sure some people remember my 1971 Ford LTD that I got for free.





Pre low compression/smog 429.



I replaced the open 2.75 rear end with a limited slip 3.50 just so it did better burn outs.

I had a project thread about it a long time ago back when I was in high school. That's the last time I did any real work to it. Once I got into college I kept driving but I haven’t done much to it. Those first two pictures are ~five years apart.

I should do something with it in the next year.

Edit: I did have the trans rebuilt a couple years ago becuase my dad's friend did it for free.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jyhuWq7jyw

SFH1989 fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Dec 27, 2013

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?

Mighty Horse posted:

I love me some 70's boats.



Some minor engine work can wake up the formerly 135 HP 360s most of these came with and put them at around 350 HP with very little trouble and better MPG to boot.



How minor? I'd like to squeeze a bit more than 160 horses from the cougar's 351.

big dong wanter
Jan 28, 2010

The future for this country is roads, freeways and highways

To the dangerzone

11BulletCatcher posted:

How minor? I'd like to squeeze a bit more than 160 horses from the cougar's 351.

If the 351 is a winsor you grab some explorer heads and put a 4bbl on it with a nice manifold. Should boost the power a bit.

randomidiot
May 12, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 11 years!)

It's likely a 351M since it's a 77, but I seem to remember Cleveland intake and exhaust manifolds bolting on to the M heads.

* Disclaimer: I haven't owned a 351M since 1998; those parts of my brain are covered in cobwebs, marijuana resin, and creepy clown avatars.

Mighty Horse posted:

Factory CB....how awesome is that?

At one time, my step-grandfather had a late 70s Cadillac boat of some sort with a factory CB. Pretty sure it was an Eldorado, but not 100% on that.

Glad to see this thread! I was hoping to pick up a 70s land yacht for a project sometime next summer, should give some ideas at least.

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?
Yeah, it just occurred to me that we didn't have a thread for them, but they are a car that is unique to North America, and nothing like them has been seen since the 70's. I had the idea while I was at the Sarasota Classic Car Museum with my little brother (his first time visiting) and while he kept walking up to the drag cars, and sports cars like the Ford GT, Porches, Corvette Stingray, etc, I was just drawn to the Barges, like the boat tail Riviera, or the Cadillac El Dorado they had with a grill that, from bottom to top, was probably about 3-4 feet tall. All I could think about is how comfortable it would be to take em down the road, while my brother would just stare incredulously at me. He just didn't see the appeal of something so big and gaudy that isn't even quick and can't turn, and I realized that there are a lot of people who feel the same who have never even been in cars like that.

We get hung on performance so much that sometimes we forget that there's nothing wrong with a little opulence in its place.


Also these cars are pure 'Murica. No other country in the world created cars as bold and stupid as these things, though I'm sure there were attempts. But this is every bit uniquely American as the Muscle car.

One thing I would really love to see is a Brit get into one of these who has spent his whole life on the island. I think the closest I've ever seen to this is that episode of old top gear where Clarkson pulls up to a derelict gas station in Town Car with questionable suspension.



[Edit: Important to point out too that these cars often aren't as slow as they seem on paper, there is a lot of lowdown torque, so even when you are driving at the speed of smell, if doesn't really feel like it]

[Edit 2: Shag Carpeting in cars needs to come back. I can't tell you how many times I drove my Cadillac barefoot just because.]

11BulletCatcher fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Dec 28, 2013

BrokenKnucklez
Apr 22, 2008

by zen death robot

some texas redneck posted:

Glad to see this thread! I was hoping to pick up a 70s land yacht for a project sometime next summer, should give some ideas at least.

The beauty of these old cars is there are still a ton of land yachts running around in moderately decent shape for very little money. The motors and transmissions will go forever, and usually the suspensions just need replaced (again dirt cheap).

Hell these cars are cheap to wrench on, parts are extremely plentiful, and after you ditch the electronic feedback carbs and associated bullshit, are pretty drat reliable.

If I can find a picture of my old Chrysler LeBaron, I will post it. It was mildly warmed over, 318ci motor, a very very mild cam, just a plain 2 barrel carb, but it would scoot pretty decently down the road, and actually was decent on fuel when it wasn't caned. I think I could muster 20 or so.

Mighty Horse
Jul 24, 2007

Speed, Class, Bankruptcy.

11BulletCatcher posted:

How minor? I'd like to squeeze a bit more than 160 horses from the cougar's 351.

Usually a cam and carb swap will work wonders. An upgrade to a modern electronic ignition will help it run better and more reliably, as many of these cars dabbled with all kinds of different ignition setups that were good ideas, but the technology wasn't up to snuff yet.

Here is a great write up on the 351M.

http://www.ford-trucks.com/article/idx/8/104/article/High_Performance_Options_for_the_351M400_Engine.html

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L55USyQLloo


OH GOD I WANT IT NOW!


By the way, to any Brits looking at this, while you cats were enjoying your slow but zippy little cars and the evolution of F1 racing, we were doing this.


This Cadillac's interior is actually pretty restrained compared to how they got merely 5-6 years later....

I mean, look at the back seat leg room at 12:55.

11BulletCatcher fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Jan 7, 2014

NWDub
Feb 2, 2010

some texas redneck posted:

It's likely a 351M since it's a 77, but I seem to remember Cleveland intake and exhaust manifolds bolting on to the M heads.

* Disclaimer: I haven't owned a 351M since 1998; those parts of my brain are covered in cobwebs, marijuana resin, and creepy clown avatars.


At one time, my step-grandfather had a late 70s Cadillac boat of some sort with a factory CB. Pretty sure it was an Eldorado, but not 100% on that.

Glad to see this thread! I was hoping to pick up a 70s land yacht for a project sometime next summer, should give some ideas at least.

I believe you can throw on 400m heads.

400m with a cam, headers, intake and 4bbl was good for some decent HP numbers

edit: 351c heads work with shims and porting and such iirc

also 351m block and 400m block were the same, different crank though so those would be the most "direct" fit. I'd port/polish/gasket-match any heads going on though.

also (lol) - all the motors during this time were torque monsters. unless you go with the 351c 4v heads (you'll need matching intake, etc kind of a pita) it'll be tuned to pull stumps all day long

NWDub fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Jan 7, 2014

randomidiot
May 12, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 11 years!)

Mighty Horse posted:

Usually a cam and carb swap will work wonders. An upgrade to a modern electronic ignition will help it run better and more reliably, as many of these cars dabbled with all kinds of different ignition setups that were good ideas, but the technology wasn't up to snuff yet.

Here is a great write up on the 351M.

That already has a pretty decent ignition system, at least in terms of reliability - Ford DuraSpark II. It's a solid system, though it doesn't hurt to keep a spare module on hand. I learned the hard way that they die with zero warning - my 80 F-150 actually had factory mounts for two modules. :haw: The original one crapped out on a hot day, but would still work once it cooled off, so I kept it as a spare after I picked up a replacement (the original lasted 18 years, so...)

My first car was almost a G body sedan - friend's grandmother had stopped driving and had left her mid 80s Olds Cutlass (maybe it was a Delta? this was ~20 years ago...) rotting in the driveway. Friend would take it out now and then and pick me up and do a few Italian tuneups; it was gutless as hell, but it was like riding on a couch with wheels and an engine. Not quite a land yacht, but close enough.

randomidiot fucked around with this message at 07:56 on Jan 7, 2014

Viggen
Sep 10, 2010

by XyloJW

some texas redneck posted:

My first car was almost a G body sedan - friend's grandmother had stopped driving and had left her mid 80s Olds Cutlass (maybe it was a Delta? this was ~20 years ago...) rotting in the driveway. Friend would take it out now and then and pick me up and do a few Italian tuneups; it was gutless as hell, but it was like riding on a couch with wheels and an engine. Not quite a land yacht, but close enough.

Said like someone who never drove one. Those bench seats were great (to relax while driving, or pass out in after a party) (already said this in this thread. Yay for TBI), and the car had virtually no turning radius nor stopping power. Even less when the motor cut out while you were coasting downhill.

I miss my G bodies. Not enough to own one, mind, but they were comfortable. ^:shobon:^

Viggen fucked around with this message at 08:04 on Jan 7, 2014

randomidiot
May 12, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 11 years!)

I drove it plenty, along with said friend's 73 Nova with a bunch of :10bux: into the driveline. Along with his late 60s beetle.

The Nova was scary fun, if you sneezed at the go pedal below about 60 it would just boil the tires. Mid 12 second streetable car with ice cold a/c, power steering, badass stereo, and a full (new) interior? :getin: The VW was just annoying to drive, more because I'd never driven stick before trying to drive it. It also loved to die at random.

No turning radius in the Olds, no power, lovely brakes, but it had a Mafia trunk, couches for seats, and could comfortably seat 7. And it was more reliable than the VW. :haw:

Viggen
Sep 10, 2010

by XyloJW

some texas redneck posted:

No turning radius in the Olds, no power, lovely brakes, but it had a Mafia trunk, couches for seats, and could comfortably seat 7. And it was more reliable than the VW. :haw:

..and a working heater. :getin:

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?
and really, isn't that the most important part?

11BulletCatcher fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Jan 7, 2014

clam ache
Sep 6, 2009
wow all this G body talk is making me miss mine. It was my first car an 81 cutlass supreme salon. That thing had the gutless 307. But it started every single time I needed it too, and got me more poon then my parents cavalier. Even in negative degree Chicago weather it started right up. It survived me crashing into poles, fences, cars, what have you. The thing that finally made me get rid of it was all the Rammings. I was young and thought it was cool to wear my hat in silly ways. Well all the local gang members took offense to that and just rammed the poo poo out of my car when seen. It took an 80's suburban to put that baby to rest. Rust in peace G body....

Viggen
Sep 10, 2010

by XyloJW
You are not allowed to call the 307(Y) gutless untill you have owned one with the Buick 231. :colbert:

clam ache
Sep 6, 2009
The 307 was probably more gutless due to the transmission leak. I was 17 and didn't know any better. But she still ran always even in the end. I sold her for 400 and called it a day. still drove with no pull, even though the LF tire was at a bad angle.

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?

West SAAB Story posted:

You are not allowed to call the 307(Y) gutless untill you have owned one with the Buick 231. :colbert:

Jesus. How did you survive the freeway?


Though the 307 is still gutless. It didn't have HP OR torque...


[edit] I got my VA disability money, I'm gettn the Cougar either tomorrow or the next day.

11BulletCatcher fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Jan 7, 2014

clam ache
Sep 6, 2009
My friends dad had that same cougar your getting, when we were kids. He had it painted a really nice purple and was rear ended about fifteen to twenty minutes after he picked it up. horrible day that was....so much fun was had flying around corners in the back seat.

DrPain
Apr 29, 2004

Purrfectly priceless
items here.
I've posted this in AI before, but I feel it would be a disservice to the megathread not to include it.

This is one of my customers, a '77 Eldo.

GM's first babby steps with fuel injection, one of 190 with fuel injection before GM went back to carb'd for the remainder of the model year, and stuck with carb'd in 1978. It determines fuel injection based on coolant temp, throttle position, and ambient air temp. No oxygen sensor, and the customer wants to keep it that way.













DrPain fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Jan 7, 2014

BrokenKnucklez
Apr 22, 2008

by zen death robot
Is it inappropriate that I want to put bull horns on the front of that, one of those multi tone horns, and cruise around in that all drat day?

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Too bad I have the stock chrome 16" on my Cadillac Deville right now, I'll have to look to see if I have any pics with the 17" DTS wheels.

Modern, sure, but the last American car model to (probably ever) have a hood ornament. :colbert:

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?

meatpimp posted:

Too bad I have the stock chrome 16" on my Cadillac Deville right now, I'll have to look to see if I have any pics with the 17" DTS wheels.

Modern, sure, but the last American car model to (probably ever) have a hood ornament. :colbert:

I think all cars with a visible hood and anything larger than a 4 banger ought to have hood ornaments. Cheesy, sure, but they look pretty awesome when you're driving. Also, it's kind of a like a cross hair at the center of your car. Like you're aiming a gun.

IOwnCalculus
Apr 2, 2003





DrPain posted:

GM's first babby steps with fuel injection, one of 190 with fuel injection before GM went back to carb'd for the remainder of the model year, and stuck with carb'd in 1978. It determines fuel injection based on coolant temp, throttle position, and ambient air temp. No oxygen sensor, and the customer wants to keep it that way.

I remember when you posted it last time, I'm pretty sure my initial reaction to the above statement was a screech of pure horror.

I could not swap a carb onto that thing fast enough if it were mine.

Viggen
Sep 10, 2010

by XyloJW

11BulletCatcher posted:

Jesus. How did you survive the freeway?

My second G Body had the 231. I survived the freeway by literally not driving. I had a graveyard shift job at the time, and decided to just crash on the office couch between my 10 hours [off] on the weekend. I drove to visit relatives at 2am (5 hour drive even at the speed limit), constantly getting passed by trucks in crawl.

11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?

West SAAB Story posted:

My second G Body had the 231. I survived the freeway by literally not driving. I had a graveyard shift job at the time, and decided to just crash on the office couch between my 10 hours [off] on the weekend. I drove to visit relatives at 2am (5 hour drive even at the speed limit), constantly getting passed by trucks in crawl.

At least you were REALLY comfortable.

DrPain
Apr 29, 2004

Purrfectly priceless
items here.

IOwnCalculus posted:

I remember when you posted it last time, I'm pretty sure my initial reaction to the above statement was a screech of pure horror.

I could not swap a carb onto that thing fast enough if it were mine.

I've tried to convince them to let us carb swap it or mega squirt ECU, but they told me "Obviously you're not a collector :smug:"

DrPain fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Jan 8, 2014

IPCRESS
May 27, 2012

DrPain posted:

I've tried to convince them to let us carb swap it or mega squirt ECU, but they told me "Obviously you're not a collector :smug:"

What's wrong with the factory TBI, exactly?

Given that he has <3,000 miles on it (the condition it look to be in off the photos makes it seem unlikely that it's rolled over) and that it's a 1970's Cadillac, I don't think that he's likely to care that the mileage is measured in gallons per minute.

vvv I get that it's garbage, but if it's original, and he's a collector somewhere giving it the occasional drive, why muck with it? The argument presented is a bit like telling someone with an original blower Bentley that they should bin the original motor and running gear and replace it with an LS1 + T400 because it's superior: Technically accurate, totally misses the point.

IPCRESS fucked around with this message at 07:21 on Jan 8, 2014

IOwnCalculus
Apr 2, 2003





Read the description of the TBI again. It has no O2, MAP, or MAF sensor. It's got a preprogrammed table of fueling values based on whatever GM programmed into it 35 years ago, with no ability to compensate for actual airflow into the engine or varying conditions beyond engine temperature.

It's not the fact that it's TBI, it's the beyond-simplistic control. Even carbs can accommodate for actual airflow. A Megasquirt with the appropriate sensors added to an otherwise-stock system would also be a major improvement in drivability.

sadnessboner
Feb 20, 2006
They never reached the extremes of the American models, but Australia had it's own fleet of luxury cars. I had GMH's last, a 1985 Statesman Caprice.



It was emissions choked compared to when the platform launched in '71, but it still had that couchlike comfort and made for a great weekender. It's fairly small by American standards at 203 inches and 3800 pounds, with the motor making 170hp.

I'm fairly sure You am I has/had it's main opposition; Ford Australia's home-grown LTD.

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11BulletCatcher
Feb 27, 2010

This Cold Ass Honkey Ain't No Jive Turkey, Ya Dig?

sadnessboner posted:

They never reached the extremes of the American models, but Australia had it's own fleet of luxury cars. I had GMH's last, a 1985 Statesman Caprice.



It was emissions choked compared to when the platform launched in '71, but it still had that couchlike comfort and made for a great weekender. It's fairly small by American standards at 203 inches and 3800 pounds, with the motor making 170hp.

I'm fairly sure You am I has/had it's main opposition; Ford Australia's home-grown LTD.


What is that, a car made for ants? It needs to be at least three times bigger than that.



Seriously though, show me the interior. Please say it's every bit as ridiculous as what we had.

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