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docbeard
Jul 18, 2011

Modern worldly poster

IN A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE WRITE WELL
ONE MAN CHOSE A DIFFERENT PATH.

"Rules are meant to be broken! I get results, dammit!" DocBeard spat angrily, before blowing up a building full of critics who were also nuns. Also angrily. "IN", belched the flaming wreckage. Angrily. Oh so angrily.

COMING SOON TO A THUNDERDOME THREAD NEAR YOU

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Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006



I'm in.

Jagermonster
May 7, 2005

Hey - NIZE HAT!


"In," Jager monstered.

Please hit me up with a flash rule, Oxxybaby

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Erogenous Beef posted:


And now a crutch for the creatively-crippled:

:siren: Flash Rule FOR EVERYONE :siren:

Every time you use "said + adverb" or "asked + adverb", your word count drops by 25.

Exceptions may be made if I find it funny or awesome. Gambling on this isn't advised.


Does this apply to any form, i.e.: "he said to himself questioningly?"

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?


Jagermonster posted:

"In," Jager monstered.

Please hit me up with a flash rule, Oxxybaby
That's brilliant.

Flash rule me as well, I can't not take this challenge.

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart


crabrock posted:

Does this apply to any form, i.e.: "he said to himself questioningly?"

Does "questioningly" apply to "said"? Then yes. Make it funny, awesome, or interesting. Otherwise :commissar:

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Erogenous Beef posted:

Does "questioningly" apply to "said"? Then yes. Make it funny, awesome, or interesting. Otherwise :commissar:

(Just clarifying for the record, because I'm going to come down hard on that poo poo).

Also for the record: I am a judge this week and I hate useless adverbs and adjectives and said bookisms, SO USE THEM WISELY AND SPARINGLY.

Oxxidation
Jul 22, 2007


Lots of masochists this week, huh. FLASH RULES:

Jagermonster posted:

"In," Jager monstered.

Please hit me up with a flash rule, Oxxybaby

Your story must take place in the aftermath of a drinking contest.

The Leper Colon V posted:

That's brilliant.

Flash rule me as well, I can't not take this challenge.

Your story must prominently feature archaeology.

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Here are additional crits. I think these are the only two who asked me for one:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QQv4Z01SgSKfNsmGZgVQSFft3nmoc8EVXk6fFmWSfiA/edit?usp=sharing

angel opportunity fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Mar 4, 2014

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?


I asked for one, too. Unicorn Hunt, specifically how I could have better drawn the parallels about the magic of the unknown, between childhood and the past.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


BLO OD E M PR E SS

of

THUDNER-DOME







Martello posted:

the languid pause was to take a sick bong hit, just so everyone is tracking

"Too true," puffed Sitting Here.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?


Masonity breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that 'On one hand' hadn't come in last, or even received a dishonorable mention. "I really thought I was for it!" he explained. "When the early entries were posted and I quite rightly had the lowest score, I actually saved my current avatar, so I could re-buy it one day!"

"But you've made money writing terrible erotica, thanks to this very website!" his conscience demanded. "You owe them better than the tripe you posted last time. You owe them a decent attempt!"

"I guess you are right." Masonity grinned. "Time to get writing I guess... After I console Benny on winning a sparkly new avatar!"


ps. The "console benny on winning a new avatar" idea should be reserved for Benny himself maybe?

God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards


in

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Ok, we've accounted for almost everybody.

Who wrote "Threadbare cloth yielded to the breeze...?"

Speak up and claim your DM.

literally this big
Jan 10, 2007



Here comes
the Squirtle Squad!


systran posted:

Here are additional crits. I think these are the only two who asked me for one:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QQv4Z01SgSKfNsmGZgVQSFft3nmoc8EVXk6fFmWSfiA/edit?usp=sharing

I'd also like one for Thomas and the Elf, specifically on how I could be more efficient with my words, and do a better job editing.

literally this big fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Mar 4, 2014

The News at 5
Dec 25, 2009

I'm Chance Everyman.


In, he pondered.

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart


Two belated line-by-lines from Thunderdome 81 (Lego week).

Entenzahn Here.

Sebmojo: Here.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."





"In", he blathered, noting that some fool on the Internet has compiled a list of 325 dialogue tags as a freely downloadable ebook.

"Sebmojo has proposed on IRC", he further publicised, "that we each make a random selection of several of these which we have to use in our submissions".

"I have ruptured, nagged, publicized, bemoaned and barked," he conveyed.

"Those wishing to join can find a random number generator here," he informed.

Rusy Fischer, author of an honest-to-goodness said book posted:

So, the editor had very politely, very helpfully highlighted in yellow every “said” in my book!
...
Back to my story: so, I replaced about 92% of the “said” dialogue tags in my book. (Not all of them. I mean, sometimes “said” just plain works best, am I right?)

E: fixed link

Lead out in cuffs fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Mar 4, 2014

Anathema Device
Dec 22, 2009

by Ion Helmet


In.

Alliterate Addict
Jul 10, 2012

dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes


Lead out in cuffs posted:

"In", he blathered, noting that some fool on the Internet has compiled a list of 325 dialogue tags as a freely downloadable ebook.

"Sebmojo has proposed on IRC", he further publicised, "that we each make a random selection of several of these which we have to use in our submissions".

"I have ruptured, nagged, publicized, bemoaned and barked," he conveyed.

"Those wishing to join can find a random number generator here," he informed.


E: fixed link

"I have a convenient link for your flash rule", Ursine Asylum countered.

angel opportunity
Sep 7, 2004

Total Eclipse of the Heart

I finished the extra crits that were requested (if I am totally dumb and still forgot someone let me know). Also if you didn't ask for a crit already, don't ask for one now, these few extra crits took me like two hours:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QQv4Z01SgSKfNsmGZgVQSFft3nmoc8EVXk6fFmWSfiA/edit

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



I'll play your game OP. In.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Behold my brain the golden throne of my consciousness. In here I am seated. Shackled. From here I police the land.



I've finished the Crits for the previous week.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WCTuyNLYv2Z6WCiARBxwG6IefBCTUlW4CWM7i5VVrn4/edit?usp=sharing

At least one of you made me weep blood. Another one made me go "omg gently caress youuuuuuuu." And someone else had me go "Please let Kobe Bryant save our souls."

But none of you, save one, made me a liar, when I told people in another thread that you were putting in a conscious effort to improve your writing. Your story was the worst, you displayed zero effort in making your writing presentable. I was scandalised and ashamed, and I hope you die like Jamie Joaquin, Benny the Snake.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?


The Saddest Rhino posted:

But none of you, save one, made me a liar, when I told people in another thread that you were putting in a conscious effort to improve your writing.
That's just about the best compliment I could have hoped for. :unsmith:

Wungus
Mar 5, 2004



"In, " regretted Whalley as he struggled to work out how he would submit a story with his cell phone as his only means of internetting.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Whalley posted:

"In, " regretted Whalley as he struggled to work out how he would submit a story with his cell phone as his only means of internetting.

I've had to do this. If you have another computer, write it in a word processer, use USB to transfer it to your phone, and then open the file, copy it, and paste it into your browser as an SA reply.

It's a pain in the butt, but it's better than a DQ

Starter Wiggin
Feb 1, 2009

Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?


Flash me please.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Starter Wiggin posted:

Flash me please.

OSC is a huge douchebag with horrible views. Lets flip the status quo around a little. Your story must involve misandry.

Lake Jucas
Feb 20, 2011

WHAT OF OUR BARGAIN?

Allegiance is fluid in the Thunderdome. Starter Wiggin, we collaborated together last week, but this week we will meet on the battlefield. It's time to brawl.

Just a warning: unlike your precious Kilkenny cats, there won't be any trace of you left once I am done.

Nitrousoxide
May 30, 2011

do not buy a oneplus phone





I'm too new to this. I need someone to give me a flash rule.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002


Nitrousoxide posted:

I'm too new to this. I need someone to give me a flash rule.

Nitrous oxide is N₂O. Nitric Oxide is NO.

One makes you laugh, the other gives you a boner.

Your story has to involve one character doing both (laughing and getting a boner)

edit: not at the same time.

crabrock fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Mar 5, 2014

Starter Wiggin
Feb 1, 2009

Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?


Lake Jucas posted:

Allegiance is fluid in the Thunderdome. Starter Wiggin, we collaborated together last week, but this week we will meet on the battlefield. It's time to brawl.

Just a warning: unlike your precious Kilkenny cats, there won't be any trace of you left once I am done.

I see your challenge, Lake Jucas, and I accept.

Counter-warning: I facking accept.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







Lead out in cuffs posted:

Screw you, Oxxidation, for posting the prompt literally three hours after the interprompt.

Interprompt story: longest river.

Egypt, 1313 BCE (147 words)

It was ten years ago they sold me down the Nile. This is a good opener. That’s the lot of us slaves. Your master crosses the wrong royal and gets himself messily executed. And what then? They ship you off to the Valley of Kings to haul stone ‘til you die.

They should’ve known better than to leave a slave bark tied up next to the boy king’s ridiculous gold barge. Especially one with a rancorous old alchemist inside. They didn’t even post a guard. It was the middle of the desert. Where would we go?

Snuck into the royal barge is where. I’d been saving that arsenic for when the work got too hard. But a decade of aching bones and bleeding fingers have been more than worth it. I smiled for the rest of that wretched journey down to the necropolis. We had a new tomb to build, before long. ok, so this is a tolerable yarn, I suppose, but I'm not clear whey I'm supposed to care? so the Egyptian slave alchemist (a potentially neat, if unlikely, character) kills the king. And? If there'd been some reason why building a tomb was going to help him, then it might have worked better.



Djeser posted:

Thunderdome Interprompt
Dangerous
(200 words)
An explosion rocked the house of Charles Dangerous, naturalist.

"God drat it," he growled.

Charles Dangerous hated being interrupted during entomology time. He threw his chainsaw to the ground. Haha, I love this so far, though MONOSYLLABIC FIRST NAME, EXCITING NOUN LAST NAME is on the verge of becoming a tdome injoke

Sexyanna's voice crackled in his ear. "It's the green anaconda, it's escaped!" she gasped, desperate to get his giant snake under control, and also there was a anaconda on the loose.

"Get on the radio right now, babe. Warn the mayor that he'll need a cleanup crew for one huge-rear end dead snake."

Charles Dangerous hopped into The Eagle, his transforming fighter jet, and shot out of his volcano cave mansion's conservatory. unfortunately you kinda push it a bit too far - sexyanna is regular dumb rather than awesome dumb, and calling your transforming jet The Eagle is just pointless dumb.

The anaconda roared and spat globs of radioactive venom at the police choppers zooming around it. Charles heard the screams as a chopper was dissolved by mutant snake drool.

"You can't run," he growled with his dark but handsome past, "An' aconda hide." I think I 'heh'd in spite of myself at that one

Green slime shot toward him. For a moment, hope was lost. Then the twin minigun turrets tore through the acid and the snake like Charles was going tear through Sexyanna tonight. nnnnnnnope

The mayor flexed as he saluted Charles Dangerous's jet.

"A true American hero..." the mayor sighed masculinely.

"With a dark past," Charles added. and nope. You almost hit the tone, but this kind of thing needs to commit to the world it's in if it's really going to work - even though that's sort of the point this is just one big wink, all I can see is eyelid. A few good turns of phrase, I guess. You'd have done better having Charles living in a more normal world as a chronic exaggerator, maybe?
Guinness record: Green anaconda - most extreme exaggeration as to its actual size of any animal

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

Starter Wiggin posted:


quote:

Lake Jucas posted:

Allegiance is fluid in the Thunderdome. Starter Wiggin, we collaborated together last week, but this week we will meet on the battlefield. It's time to brawl.

Just a warning: unlike your precious Kilkenny cats, there won't be any trace of you left once I am done.


I see your challenge, Lake Jucas, and I accept.

Counter-warning: I facking accept.

There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.

You each have 72 hours to write 720 words on the theme of "Pack Mentality"

NB: I was relatively polite and accommodating in the spirit of last round's collaboration theme. I shall not make the same mistake here.

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart


Erogenous Beef posted:

:frogsiren: Sebmodjinn Brawl :frogsiren:

For posterity, God Over Djinn requested a Flash Rule for this brawl.

It is thus decreed: Djinn's story involves, or is very closely inspired by, the Dyatlov Pass incident, but may not be a retelling of, or direct investigation of, the incident itself.

That Old Ganon
Jan 2, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

crabrock posted:

Ok, we've accounted for almost everybody.

Who wrote "Threadbare cloth yielded to the breeze...?"

Speak up and claim your DM.
Sorry, that was me.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again



EchoCian, you want to write some folklore stuff? Let's do it.

Folklore brawl me.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006



Djeser posted:

Meinberg. A certain sys-someone in IRC had trouble telling us apart. The only indignity worse than not being known is being mistaken for someone else, and I want retribution.

Brawl me, so that people can remember which one of us is which.

I like your style.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







Djeser posted:

EchoCian, you want to write some folklore stuff? Let's do it.

Folklore brawl me.

:siren:EchoDjeserBrawl:siren:

Djeser and Echo Cian: you will give me 500 words of folktale, by next Thursday 11.59 pm PST.

Go to this page, take your first and last initials and pick a folktale category from each letter, (so a John Smith might pick 'Love like salt' and 'The Jackal and the Farmer') then show me what happens when those two tales collide.

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Mar 6, 2014

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Cache Cab
Feb 21, 2014


In.

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