|
SH and i switched user names for a bit, so every post by me is now actually her, and every post by her is by me now try to keep up
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 18:57 |
|
|
# ? Dec 6, 2024 13:32 |
|
Entenzahn, your flash rule: story must prominently feature these two things from the folktale, paraphrasing from Fanky's post:Fanky Malloons posted:mandra-somebody with a penis in front and another in back
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 19:01 |
|
In with a 3 and an 8 and a , a , my kingdom for a
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 19:04 |
|
Grizzled Patriarch posted:Let's keep this train rollin'. In with 4 and 4. National Origin: Native America (Nahua) Your numbers also brought up a super long tale, so you get cliff notes + opening paragraphs too: quote:The following historical narrative of the Mesoamerican Nahua ruler Nezahualpilli is contained in a historical account written between 1600— 1608 and commissioned by the Spanish viceroy to New Spain. Despite the fact that the narrative was committed to print, oral tradition provided his primary resource. Therefore, the tale of “The Queen with a Hundred Lovers” is best classified as a folk history as distinct from historiography (a scientific history). As such, it reflects a worldview and attitudes toward the past more than an unbiased view of historical events: --- PootieTang posted:IN with snake eyes (1 and 1) GIFTS FOR MY SON MOHAMMED National Origin: Egypt quote:There was once a fellah, who being annoyed with his wife left the village and went away; he came to another village, went to a house there and begged. The mistress came to him, “Where do you come from (she asked)?” Phobia posted:okay well I'm in. 2 and 12, that sounds just fine. National Origin: Malaysia/Borneo quote:Long ago Aki [“grandfather”] Gahuk was chief of Kampong Tengkurus. He was a very old man and he had seven sons and four daughters. His sons all wished to take wives, and his daughters, husbands, and so they married. At last Aki Gahuk became so, old that he could no longer walk, and his children did not wish to provide for him. Then Aki Gahuk said to them, “Why do you not wish to support me, for I am an old man and can no longer get my living?” But his children answered that they wished he were dead, as he was only an encumbrance to them. So Aki Gahuk wept and said, “If you wish me dead you had better put me into the river, for although you give me food, you give me no clothes and I am naked and ashamed.” Guiness13 posted:In with dueces, 2 and 2 National origin: Nagaland (India) quote:One day a man was going to his field, and on the way he caught a rat. He brought it home and put it in a box, and when later on he went to look at it he found the rat had turned into a beautiful girl. Amused Frog posted:In with 2 and 12. National Origin: Tibet quote:Once upon a time, in the days when the world was young and all animals understood each other’s languages, an old, old tiger named Tsuden went out hunting for some food. As he was creeping quietly along the banks of a stream a frog saw him and was badly scared. He thought, “This tiger is coming to eat me up.” He climbed up on a little bunch of sod and when the tiger came near, called out, “Hello, where are you going?”
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 19:11 |
|
sebmojo vs Oxxidation brawl results Well boy howdy did you fellas ever gently caress this right up. What, did you underestimate the prompt because it was simple? Because making your reader feel something authentic isn't easy. But I trusted you guys to handle it with your usual deftness. You let me down. Honestly, I hated both of these stories; I hated them enough that I had to go get a second opinion, but now that I know at least one other person hated them, I'm reasonably certain I'm not losing my mind. Here's why: - You both gave me characters that were removed from the emotional center of the story. Mojo gave me a dude who doesn't seem to have any reason to care about any of the characters who are actually having sad experiences, and spends most of the time being pompous and nattering about his own job; even if this was a very clever commentary on the state of the world and grief, it still sucked. Oxxi gave me a character who reacts to every situation by ignoring it and/or running away, with plenty of shrugging, and even though he's at least there when the Sad Thing happened, I know absolutely nothing about the character to whom it happens. What, were you guys scared? Why'd you back off on this? I didn't want to see sadness in the form of 'gee, it sure is sad when sad things happen to people for reasons I don't understand.' - You both gave me unutterably boring, conflictless kinds of sadness. Mojo's was pretty stretched; sure, I buy why the situation is sad in general (albeit I'm not buying it for your character), but the connections required to make it meaningful (Hans's feelings about 'promises' with Melissa's promise; the land and the memories of Melissa's disappearance) just aren't in the story. Likewise, no conflict for your character, although you hint once at what the conflict should have been, if you'd written it even marginally competently - the character's conflict between putting on a happy face to get through the day, and giving in to fuckedupedness. Likewise for you, Oxxi, although for 'stretched' I'd go so far as 'contrived'. Your characters are sad because... some terribly tragic thing happened in the past that you are so utterly vague about that I can't even speculate. I don't know how they feel about it, or about anything, frankly, except for 'dull' and 'drifty'. They're sad because they're directionless and impassionate, apparently, which is sad if you think about it too hard, but ain't the kind of thing that fits into flash fiction. I gather that you wanted them to be sad because of their changing relationship as they grew up (maybe?) but that just ain't there (except where I noted it). - Also, 'sad things happen to character' is not going to make me feel, unless you can make me empathize with the characters. Which, your characters were so dull and underwritten that I couldn't do it. They didn't seem to want anything! For gently caress's sake! A great way to get at sadness is to have a character not get something they desperately need/deserve because of the implacable & cruel universe, but you gotta have the want/deserve bit before you can give me the grey gloomy mist of the Earth's indifference, right? - You both tried to hide poo poo from me in the name of being, I don't know, literary? Once again, I've gotta ask: were you scared? I'm looking for the heart of the storm, and I get hints so vague they don't even add up. I read each of these three times, and I keep getting these weird sparks like 'geez, I really feel like he wanted this to matter and mean something to me' - mojo's train metaphor; oxxi's baseball thing - but I'm just not there with you. You don't have to slap me across the face with everything, but neither can I read your minds. - And Oxxi, get yo verb tenses straightened out. For shame. tl;dr: You both disappointed me. Nobody wins. mojo: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16fDZMZDWgF-W5Q7YPHEg2S7ywPw43NU6c0PooVTRB_o/edit?usp=sharing oxxi: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ffuj41fGRFk7ik19SZIORTcmr2QiNFOHBCLeLQ8zvLQ/edit?usp=sharing
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 19:40 |
|
Still gonna chalk this up as a victory.
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 19:42 |
|
Oxxidation posted:Still gonna chalk this up as a victory. Ditto, motherfucker. (Thanks for the crit djinn) sebmojo fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Sep 16, 2014 |
# ? Sep 16, 2014 20:01 |
|
Martello posted:good recovery attempt but that'd be a TEN and a three, Pythagoras. Martello posted:Entenzahn, your flash rule: story must prominently feature these two things from the folktale, paraphrasing from Fanky's post:
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 20:01 |
|
In with 2 and 7. And Martello, I'd be delighted to accept a flash rule if you'd be so kind as to crit my Clint Eastwood story. I intend to quench my thirst with the blood of lesser competitors one of these weeks, and to do that, I must get better.
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 20:08 |
|
In with 1 and 11. That's the eyes of an enlightened snake.
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 20:08 |
|
Fanky Malloons posted:Fine. You (and by association, me [and also Seadoof]) will simply have to continue to live with our shameful shame of posting (or not) those crits in an extremely non-timely manner. Not so fast, Malloons. People DID put a lot of effort into Week 100, and they deserve crits. I have about nine left, which I will do today, but I thought I'd go ahead and throw up my crit doc now so people have something to chew on. Additionally, instead of 'doming, I will do detailed crits for anyone who participated in the Thunderdome centennial. Just quote this post and ask for an in-depth crit on your week 100 story if you want me to elaborate. If you're one of the last 9 or 10 stories, hang tight, I will have those done by the end of today. https://docs.google.com/document/d/19nP-Kwg_E30F2nR3IIwpDyEd5PZ_X8p2zWRjuQzV-98/edit?usp=sharing
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 20:27 |
|
In. 2. 1.
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 20:48 |
|
Fanky Malloons posted:FOLK IN 4 and 8
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 21:04 |
|
3 2
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 21:06 |
|
My dice said I choose to interpret this as "2" and "8"
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 21:29 |
|
God Over Djinn posted:In with 1 and 1, snake eyes. National Origin: Kenya quote:Apōdtho was the ancestor of all men; he descended to the earth from above, and brought with him two head of cattle, some fowls, and seeds of mtama [sorghum], sem-sem [sesame seeds], and wimbi [millet]. He found the tobacco plant growing on earth; the elephant gave him the sweet potato and beans. He also brought the knowledge of making fire by rubbing two pieces of wood together, and he taught the Ja-Luo to mix cow’s urine with the milk. He reached the earth in the country away to the north of the lake, and died in that country; at his death, he turned into a rock. Apōdtho had supernatural powers and possessed the power to turn into a rock at will. starr posted:I'm in with 2 and 5. National origin: Siberia (Koryak) quote:Big-Raven lived with his family. Oh, Big-Raven said, “I will (go and) fetch some willow-bark.” Oh, Miti’ went to feed the little puppies. Magpie-Man came to eat there. He pecked at Miti”s face (to indicate his love), and her whole nose was covered with scratches. satsui no thankyou posted:hey i'd like to give this a go. 4 and 7 National origin: Ashkenazim (Poland/Ukraine) quote:The great Rabbi Joshua was wrapped up all his life in the study of the Torah and knew little about the everyday world. A man doesn’t live forever. His time came and God said, to the Angel of Death, “Go to Reb Joshua, take his holy soul and bring it before my throne but I command you that whatever he ask of you thou it be the biggest and hardest thing you shall give it to him.… Not many such pious men live on the earth.” Anathema Device posted:In with 3 and 9. National origin: Scotland quote:Once, a long time ago, there was a gentleman had two lassies. The oldest was ugly and ill natured, but the youngest was a bonnie lassie and good; but the ugly one was the favorite with her father and mother. So they ill used the youngest in every way, and they sent her into the woods to herd cattle, and all the food she got was a little porridge and whey. newtestleper posted:in with 2 and 6 National Origin: Borneo/Malaysia quote:At first there was a great stone in the middle of the sea. At that time there was no earth only water. The rock was large and it opened its mouth and out of it came a man and a woman. The man and the woman looked around and there was only water. The woman said to the man, “How can we walk, for there is no land?” They descended from the rock and tried to walk on the surface of the water and found that they could. curlingiron posted:In with 2, 9, and a National origin: Japan (Ainu) quote:My elder sister brought me up. Every day she went out to fetch water. She hit the pail, she struck the scoop. Once she went out and I waited for her in vain. Three nights I waited, and she came not. At last I got anxious. I built an “inau” to my grandmother the Fire, and asked her about my sister, but got no answer. Then, angry, I built an “inau” to the god of the house, and asked him, but he gave no answer. So I went out, full of wrath, to the river’s side, and asked the river-god, but got no news. I went also to the forest and built an “inau,” and asked my grandmother the Red Fir, but she did not know; so I asked the Siberian Silver Fir, but in vain. Full of anger, I left them, and went to my grandmother the Willow-Bush Thicket, and asked her; and she said, “I am a willow-bush thicket, and fond of talking; so listen to what I shall tell thee. Thy sister went up to the moon, and got married to the Man in the Moon.” Man, some of these stories are loving weird.
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 21:56 |
|
gently caress it, give me whatever story 3 and 5 corresponds to
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 22:12 |
Babby wants in with 3 and 11.
|
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 22:17 |
|
Sure why not. IN. 3, 13.
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 22:51 |
|
In with 3 and 7
|
# ? Sep 16, 2014 23:57 |
|
Aw. So it looks like not doing any fiction writing at all for the past several months does not somehow turn you into a better writer. Has Mercedes ever lost? I'm wondering if I can gain the distinction of having the most DMs without ever actually losing. In for this week. Numbers? Eh...make it 1 and 12. I didn't want to take obvious ones but apparently no one's gone for those yet.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 01:25 |
|
In with: 3 and 11
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 01:47 |
|
Some Guy TT posted:Has Mercedes ever lost? With style.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 02:01 |
|
IN with 3-9
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 02:09 |
|
Okay, everybody stop choosing 3, that volume is Europe and all the stories are either super long and/or suck dongs TIA
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 02:20 |
|
change me to 4 2
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 02:43 |
|
Fanky Malloons posted:Okay, everybody stop choosing 3, that volume is Europe and all the stories are either super long and/or suck dongs TIA
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 02:56 |
|
this is the first average thing you've submitted to the thunderdome
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:07 |
|
Your Sledgehammer posted:In with 2 and 7. National origin: India Ooops, all the stories from India are super long, so you get cliff notes + like 25% of the actual story quote:The title “Diamond Cut Diamond” of the following tale is roughly equivalent to the English proverb: “It takes a thief to catch a thief.” The tale is similar to “The Youth in the Land of Cheaters” (AT 978) by virtue of the fact that not only the villain of the narrative, Beeka Mull, but also the shop owners and even the victim’s savior Kooshy Ram are rascals. The Punjab area from which the tale was collected lies on the border between Pakistan and India. The name Kooshy Ram suggests an Indian (Hindu) rather than Pakistani (Muslim) setting for the tale: Fumblemouse posted:In with 1 and 11. That's the eyes of an enlightened snake. National Origin: Egypt (Bedouin) quote:A Bedouin fisherman, going to work one day, met an old man, who saluted him and conducted him into the bowels of the mountain. There, to his surprise, he found a monastery, gardens of date palms bearing fruit, and good water. The monks received him kindly, gave him food, and when they dismissed him made him swear not to disclose the secret of the monastery. The Bedouin went to his village, Tor, on the Gulf of Suez, near by, and related his discovery. The village people went with him to the spot, but found only a sandbank; and they wanted to kill the man who had deceived them. But the sound of the nagous, or wooden gong used by the priests to call the monks to prayer, is still heard issuing from beneath the bank of sand. Tyrannosaurus posted:In. 2. 1. National origin: China quote:The people say that before Yang and Yin were separated, P’an Ku, a man, came into existence. He had a chisel and a mallet. He had horns projecting from his forehead and tusks projecting from his jaws. He grew in stature every day he lived—for eighteen thousand years he grew six feet every day in stature. Nothing was in place when P’an Ku came into the universe, but with his mallet and his chisel he ordered all things; he hewed out bases for the mountains, he scooped out basins for the seas, he dug courses for the rivers, and hollowed out the valleys. In this meritorious work P’an Ku was engaged for eighteen thousand years. Djeser posted:IN National Origin: African American (Antigua) quote:Dis a nice little story. Der woman had two chil’ren. One was a boy. an’ der oder was a girl. De fader a dese chil’ren die. Moder decide to marry again. She marry to anoder man. Noah posted:
LATA AND SINOTA National origin: Solomon Islands quote:This Lata was he who created this world and the things in it. He was very wise. The heathen pray to him, and offer to him pigs, and pray also to him for every fruit-bearing tree that it may bear fruit. Ironic Twist posted:In with a National origin: You get the Solomon Islands too, deal with it. quote:There was a certain woman who was enceinte [pregnant] and her kinsfolk made a great feast, for her nearest kinsman also said that he would make a great feast, and he came to the big island to Pevo, and he went to the place where she had not yet brought forth the child, and he stayed there for a long while; and this man had married one hundred wives.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:07 |
|
Noah posted:change me to 4 2 Sorry, I already changed your number arbitrarily before I saw this. Benny the Snake posted:Change me to 5-9 I will also arbitrarily re-assign you so don't even worry about it broheim.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:11 |
|
In with 4 and 9.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:22 |
|
Meeple posted:I choose to interpret this as "2" and "8" National origin: Indonesia quote:One day the kantjil (Mouse deer) was resting quietly when he heard a tiger approaching and feared for his life, wherefore, quickly taking a large leaf, he began to fan a pile of dung which happened to lie near. When the tiger came up, and overcome by curiosity asked what he was doing, the mouse-deer said, “This is food belonging to the king. I am guarding it.” Blade_of_tyshalle posted:gently caress it, give me whatever story National origin: San (Southern Africa) quote:Hunger and want forced Monkey one day to forsake his land and to seek elsewhere among strangers for much-needed work. Bulbs, earth beans, scorpions, insects, and such things were completely exhausted in his own land. But fortunately he received, for the time being, shelter with a great uncle of his who lived in another part of the country. Saint Drogo posted:Babby wants in with National origin: Spanish American (New Mexico) quote:A certain evening during holy week the Penitentes entered the church in Taos for the purpose of flogging themselves. After flogging themselves in the usual manner, they left the church. As they departed, however, they heard the floggings of a Penitente who seemed to have remained in the church. SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Sure why not. IN. National origin: Mexican American (New Mexico) This one is more of a primer on witches than a story, I guess. You'll figure it out. quote:Every paisano in New Mexico can tell you the witches’ strange habits, their marvelous powers, and their baleful deeds. They never injure the dumb animals, but woe to the human being who incurs their displeasure. Few, indeed, are bold enough to brave their wrath. If a witch asks for food, wood, clothing, or anything else, none dare say her nay. Nor dare any one eat what a witch proffers; for, if he does, some animal, alive and gnawing, will form in his stomach.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:45 |
|
If you're just going to arbitrarily assign stories no matter what we pick, then you can seriously go gently caress yourself.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:53 |
|
Blade_of_tyshalle posted:If you're just going to arbitrarily assign stories no matter what we pick, then you can seriously go gently caress yourself. what was that mr dirty harry isn't good enough for me
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 03:55 |
|
Blade_of_tyshalle posted:If you're just going to arbitrarily assign stories no matter what we pick, then you can seriously go gently caress yourself. Wow rude. How about you sit down and shut the gently caress up until you actually rack up a win? MOTHER HOLLE National origin: Germany quote:Once upon a time there was a widow who had two daughters; one of them was pretty and clever, and the other ugly and lazy. But as the ugly one was her own daughter, she liked her far the best of the two, and the pretty one had to do all the work of the house, and was in fact the regular maid of all work. Every day she had to sit by a well on the high road, and spin till her fingers were so sore that they often bled. One day some drops of blood fell on her spindle, so she dipped it into the well meaning to wash it, but, as luck would have it, it dropped from her hand and fell right in. She ran weeping to her stepmother, and told her what had happened, but she scolded her harshly, and was so merciless in her anger that she said, “Well, since you’ve dropped the spindle down, you must just go after it yourself, and don’t let me see your face again until you bring it with you.” Your flash rule is that you a)have to actually write a story, and b)it has to be loving awesome. Also, if someone wants to take your rejected story that wasn't good enough for you and use that as their inspiration, and their story is better than yours, then you get a DM. You're welcome. Fanky Malloons fucked around with this message at 04:29 on Sep 17, 2014 |
# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:07 |
|
Fanky Malloons posted:Your flash rule is that you a)have to actually write a story, and b)it has to be loving awesome. p unwise to set unattainable flash rules if you ask me.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:15 |
|
Please reinterpret my '3 and 7' as 'anything and anything else'
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:25 |
|
Blade_of_tyshalle posted:If you're just going to arbitrarily assign stories no matter what we pick, then you can seriously go gently caress yourself. It's really tough I know. Also jesus christ quit bitching.
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 05:58 |
|
Blade of Tyshalle, Blade of Tyshalle, Blade of Tyshalle, I know you're developing this picture of my in your head. I'm an old man, bent double, shaking his fist at the kids playing on his lawn. "He doesn't get it!" you say, "it's comedy!" except you forgot one key thing: comedy is funny. What you wrote (and your folks incessantly spammed in every drat corner of the boards like they had pubic lice and wanted to make the world itch) was a bunch of friends sitting around smoking weed and saying "man they call them fingers but I've never seen them fing", then everybody laughs at it's pretty great. That's cool and you should have your good time. What you shouldn't do is write it down and stick a price tag on it, then run around throwing it in people's faces while dreaming of floating dollar signs. Your poo poo is terrible and derivative and not that funny. Nobody understands or gives a poo poo about your injokes and certainly nobody wants to pay for them. Why am I hanging onto a thing that's a couple of years old? Because I cannot remember a single goddam thing else you've written in all the years I've been here. Stop crying about how real writing is haaaaaaaaard and put some words to paper. You want to fling poo poo around in here? Earn it. Prove me loving wrong. If you ever win, you can drag me back to this post and rub my nose in it. Until then, shut up and write. EDIT: let me play good cop here to my bad cop - if you've got something you've written recently that you want me to look at, I'll give it a full going over and try to be as genuinely helpful as I can. What I've seen of your writing tells me you're actually not poo poo at this at this at all, you just don't realise that your 'funny' jokes are either tepid and unoriginal, or completely inexplicable to anybody who isn't you. The prose itself is solid, and there's genuine laughs in there when you manage to pull your head out of your rear end. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Sep 17, 2014 |
# ? Sep 17, 2014 06:17 |
|
|
# ? Dec 6, 2024 13:32 |
|
In with 2 10. If that's taken then give me whatever. :: :: ::
|
# ? Sep 17, 2014 06:20 |