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I'm back, and in
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Jan 8, 2014 22:15
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| # ¿ Jan 24, 2025 03:14 |
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Felicia Goes South 901 Words "Hi, welcome to Hell!" Felicia woke up, and opened her eyes, but everything was blurry and all she knew was that, wherever she was, it was a very sanitary bright. She felt an aching in her arms, near her wrists, but felt nothing unusual when she reached for them. She was lying on her back on something hard and cold, like a sidewalk. The voice repeated, "Welcome to Hell!" As Felicia blinked, the scene slowly came into focus and in front of her she could make out a store, Hel-Mart, and a frail, small-framed elderly woman in a firetruck red vest. She turned and looked to her rear. Nothing. Not void or emptiness. Nothing. "Where am I?" Felicia asked, looking away as she realized she just asked the only question she had already been told the answer to. Not seeming to mind, the woman said, "You're in Hell, sweetie. I don’t know what you did - they never tell me. I just know that what you’re looking for is in Aisle 10, in housewares.” “What? Why am I in Hell? I don’t even remember what I-” “No one does. But you’re going to pay for it all the same. Now, come inside and get started. Might as well not put it off any longer.” “Get started on what?” Felicia asked, feeling surprised at how little she was curious about how she would spend what was presumably to be the rest of eternity. The old woman stared for a moment. “You’ll know what to do.” With a shrug that came not entirely of her own volition, Felicia made her way through the store. She passed the grocery section, where gluttons were endlessly gorging themselves on still-frozen corndogs and cake frosting, pouring maple syrup directly into their overextended maws. She continued toward her destination, housewares, where she saw the vain standing in front of mirrors, posing their flawless bodies but seeing only wasted, decrepit versions of themselves, often with super saggy tits and beanbags. Felicia found herself in Aisle 10, which housed garden tools. She found herself drawn towards a water hose, and struck with the immediate realization of just how long eternity would be if she were stuck in this infernal big-box store for its duration, and began mindlessly tying a looped knot at the end. The other end she weighted with a trowel and threw over a rafter, over which it was held, once she had adjusted the height and and tied the end. Satisfied, she climbed the shelf, put her head in the loop and jumped. And landed on the ground, no worse for the wear. Her neck was fine, as was the hose noose, dangling undamaged above her head. Frustrated by her failure, Felicia scoured the area, trying to find a way to end her shopping experience, to no longer be stuck in Hel-Mart, to no longer be mysteriously compelled by the store manager to take her own life. And lo! Like a lighthouse guiding drunk Portuguese fisherman safely back to shore, she saw the beacon of her salvation. In the lighting section, its colors swirled with a majestic beauty that could only be described as, “groovy.” She grasped the bottle, burning her hands, and smashed the narrow top against a shelf. She drank, the searing liquid burned Felicia’s throat on its way to her stomach. Once at its destination, she fared no better and began writhing in terrible agony, moaning and burping up gross little bits of orange goo or whatever. And then, it passed. Still standing, she looked down to see that she had a rather dark spot on her pants, and was now standing in a puddle of yellow and orange liquid. Daunted, she put face in her hands and wept. She wept. She wept and she wept and she wept. She wept because she knew that this was only the beginning. Felicia knew that there would be no end to her compulsion, nor of her failures. All she wanted to do was to be free of this burdensome afterlife, and yet it was denied her. And also she slipped, like an idiot. She clambered her way to a display of brightly colored dorm mini-couches (somehow she knew it was August) and sat. Curled up in a ball, wrapped tightly in an unicorn blanket, she tried to think of a solution. So far, at least, she had been unable to kill herself because her body couldn’t be damaged. Wait, that wasn’t right. It could be damaged. It was just able to let things pass through if they were quick enough, like with the hose, or the lava lamp. What she needed was slow, and complete. With a huff, she was on her feet, galloping back to to the grocery section. Felicia looked in the farthest corner and found it - the butcher shop. Pushing past the gluttons, she entered the back room and looked for the switch to turn on the meat grinder. Once it was on, she took a moment to steel herself. This was it. She would finally be free. She took a step onto a nearby table. Looking at the intake she saw that it would fit her almost entirely. This would be over quickly, of that she was glad. She closed her eyes and, for no good reason, pinched her nose and jumped. Agony. Numb. Black. Nothing. “Hi, welcome to Double Hell!”
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Jan 13, 2014 04:51
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sebmojo posted:If anyone wants a crit from me for their story from the last week's prompt, post a link to it in the next day or so (and no, it will not halve your word count). If you don't already have too many requests, I'd be happy for some crits: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3598931&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=9#post424374358
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Jan 16, 2014 02:30
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I'm in
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Feb 13, 2014 04:52
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In. Flash me, please.
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Feb 19, 2014 02:40
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Puff http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/7030_squad_car The following was recorded on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. "The word on the street? Oh, that's easy: "puff," for sure. Ever since Puff showed up out here, nothing's been the same. I mean, just look around. See all these homeless? I may not know each individual story, but I can say with certainty that the vast majority wouldn't be out here if they never messed with Puff." It was a quiet night, so we drove around and took in the streets. Officer Bradey, continuing his answer, pointed out all the homeless people and peopleless homes in the area, ostensibly due to the Puff scourge. "So, what is the department, and the city, doing about Puff? If people's lives are being ruined, doesn't the city have a responsibility to act?" "Lady, what do you want us to do? We can’t arrest Puff. I mean, think about how ridiculous that sounds.” “No, not arrest Puff, that’s not what I mean. You know what, pull over here - I want to talk to this guy.” After a shrug, Officer Bradley pulled the car over toward a man standing on the corner. “Excuse me, sir? Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? About Puff?” “Oh, don’t even get me started. I had a home, a good job, a wife. Then Puff came along, and now I have nothing. You don’t think it’ll mess you up. You always think you’ll be smarter than Puff, that you can use it without the downsides, but...you just can’t. It’ll always get you in the end.” “Why don’t you walk me through exactly what happened?” “Okay, well, I never sought out Puff, first off. Puff came to me. One day the doorbell rang, and there he was, in all his glory, right on my doorstep. His shining purple scales covering him from head to toe, and his giant leathery wings were stretched so wide that their shadows covered the whole front lawn. He told me he would grant me anything I wanted, with the only rule being that whatever I wanted couldn’t be undone. I didn’t even stop to think what that meant. I just told him that I wanted freedom. Freedom to travel, freedom to go and do whatever I wanted. I wish I thought it through.” “What do you mean? What happened?” “I got what I asked for is what happened. He told me that I could be free if only I didn’t have all these things tying me down. Before I knew it, my house burned down, I lost my job, and y wife left me. Now I can go anywhere, it’s terr- CALLING ALL CARS, CALLING ALL CARS 10-47 HOUSE FIRE IN PROGRESS AT 347 BILLUND WAY --- We pulled up to the scene and I finally caught a glimpse of Puff. He was exactly as the man described, and made even more terrifying by the backdrop of a burning house. Before I knew what was happening, Officer Bradey, without warning, ran to the dragon, and began yelling. “I heard you’ve been granting wishes around here! What about me!? Do I get a wish!?” “Of course you do, officer! What would you like? How about a promotion? Or maybe you’d like to win the lottery? Name it, and it’s yours!” “I want you out of this town! I don’t care where you go, but I want you to leave all these innocent people alone!” “If that’s what you want - then that’s what you’ll get!” And with that, the monster reached out and grabbed Officer Bradey and flew off into the night. The town, the innocents, were now safe thanks to Officer Bradey, even if he didn’t quite learn from their mistakes.
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Feb 24, 2014 04:48
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Not Winning Yet 11 words Scratchy lotteries Did my life change? Oh I'll get more Monday
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Feb 25, 2014 07:31
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I'm in and would love a flash rule, please.
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Mar 11, 2014 01:43
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The Throng Song Flash rule: A hideous throng rush out forever / And laugh--but smile no more. 768 Turds Allie rushed into their shared bedroom, red-faced and panting. She ran to the bed Sophia was sitting on, and dove under her older sister's arm, into the pile pillows. "What the hell is wrong with you, Allie? I'm trying to read." Mumbles. "Well, get off my goddamn bed. You have your own." Slowly pulling her face out from deep within the pile of pillows, she sniffled, still visibly frightened. "Sophia, you won't even believe me. But it was real." "What was real, you little turd?" "I don't know - these monster ladies in this building by the Arby's. I went in there, and they started chasing me and I couldn't get out at first and I dropped Mom's pocket knife and then I finally-" "Wait, you lost Mom's pocket knife? The one from Pop-pop? You shouldn't have even had that! Now she's gonna be mad at me! You said if I let you go outside you wouldn't get into trouble. Now she's never going to let me babysit you again and I wont be able to get those goddamn tickets!" "I'm sorry! I was going exploring and thought I should bring it..." "You stupid little poo poo! You know how much she loves that stupid little thing. Now you have to go back and get it, you know." "No, I can't! I'm not going back there!" "Well, you don't have a choice. You left it, you have to get it." "You can't make me!", she said, while running into the bathroom. There was a click from the doorknob and then the shower radio was turned on so loud she couldn’t hear anything else. ----- The sun was just starting to set when Sophia reached the back entrance of the old, abandoned strip mall. As she approached the building, she began to hear faint laughter, which sounded like her aunt and her friends having brunch with too many mimosas. Sophia approached the door that seemed to lead to the source of the sound and heard a loud crash, like the sound of a wine bottle breaking, and then cackling. She opened the door and shined her flashlight into the doorway. The back entranceway was small, but led down a narrow hallway towards a waiting room in the front of the building, covered in dust and littered with decade-old magazines. She was just reaching for the doorknob of an office door when she heard a voice behind her. “Why hello there, young lady!” squealed a woman excitedly. Sophia turned and saw three women, sitting on the chairs in the waiting room. They were all dressed immaculately, but their figures and faced looked disturbingly unnatural. Their lips were inflated ten times over and their cheekbones were higher and puffier than she had ever seen. There wasn’t a wrinkle or blemish to be seen on any of them, and the technical perfection was so unsettling that she couldn’t help but turn back the way she came and begin running. Less than five steps into her escape, and well before she had made her way back into the hallway, her left foot caught the back of her right ankle and she fell to the floor with a heavy thump. She quickly rolled to her back to protect herself, but the trio of ghouls was already upon her. “Why are you running from us? Aren’t we beautiful enough?” they howled, with their faces showing almost no expression, save for the slightest movement of their lips. Now backed into a corner, Sophia scanned the room for the best way out. Behind the now incomprehensibly moaning women, she saw it. Not the exit - though she saw that as well - but the pocketknife her Pop-pop had left her mother when he died. It was just under a side table, near the front door to the building, and quite unfortunately on the other side of the ghastly women. Thinking fast, Sophia belted, “You are beautiful! You’re too beautiful! I’m not pretty enough to be with you, though! You shouldn’t have to spend time with me; you’re so much better than me, so much prettier!” “Oh no, stop it! You’re too nice. Stay with us a while, have a drink,” the women said, despite clearly parting enough to let her through. Quickly, but not too quickly, Sophia got up, grabbed the pocketknife, and left through the front door. “Okay, but you must come back! We’ll do brunch!” she heard faintly through the now closing door. As she crossed the dark parking lot, toward the road home, a street light flickered, revealing a sign: “Glen Oaks Cosmetic Surgery Center.”
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Mar 17, 2014 03:21
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In
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Oct 1, 2014 12:22
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Puño Verde 747 Words Virtue: A Green Thumb “Knock it the gently caress off.” “Cool it, Lika. He’s not hurting anything.” The boy stops tapping on the viewport and turns to look at them. In his early teens, he looks out of place with the two tough-looking thirty-somethings. Lika stares at the boy just long enough to make him uncomfortable before getting up from her seat and pushing him out of the way of the window. She puts her face to the window and turns to Kile, now adjusting dials on the shuttle’s control panel. “Touching in five...four...” “I got it,” Kile says as the lights in the cabin go dark. “Gonna be a few before we connect -- one of the few downsides of them not expecting us.” Kile turns his chair and pulls out a retractable keypad, feverishly typing into the panel by the airlock. “Alright, kid, here’s the rules,” Lika begins. “You’re gonna do exactly as we say, when we say it, and how we say it. You’re not gonna get any ideas of your own either. We clear?” “My name’s Roben. Not ‘kid.’” “That’s exactly the kind of poo poo you’re not gonna say. That’s your one gently caress up. You won’t get another.” Kile stops what he’s doing and raises an eyebrow to Lika. Lika stares daggers at the pilot, who goes back to his work, shaking his head slightly. “Alright, I got it. Are you gonna tell me the plan now?” “You’ll know when you need to know.” “Will you get nicer when I’m officially in?” Lika looks questioningly at Kile, who does his best to look like he didn’t hear the question. “In what, exactly?” “In the gang. He said if I came with you, I could join you guys.” Roben’s face beams with optimism. Lika lets out a sigh. “Yeah, sure. We’ll give you your uniform when we get back to the docks-” Her bullshitting is interrupted by the high-pitched hiss of the airlock cracking open. The air near the opening rushes out and Roben shivers as the cabin instantly drops ten degrees. “Move.” Lika is the first up the ladder as Kile gestures for Roben to follow her. They fill the antechamber and the exterior airlock door closes with a crunch behind them. Even from just this room they can tell that no living person has been here in a long time. Despite the rush of air from the airlock, a layer of fine dust is stuck to the interior walls. Lika examines the locking mechanism for the interior door. She pulls out a multitool from a pouch on her belt and begins removing the casing. On the door itself, Roben wipes away dust to reveal the blue and black logo of the Santerra corporation. “Santerra? Why would Santerra have gold up here?” Lika looks to Kile, exasperated. “What in the poo poo have you been telling this kid? And why the hell is he here, anyway? I’ve trusted your judgement and obeyed your orders without question for a long time, but this is ridiculous. He’s gonna get us killed.” Kile is silent for a moment, as he and Lika stare each other down. “Open the door.” Seizing the opportunity to do something she has control over, she turns back to the panel. “I...I can’t. It’s got some kind of optical biometric. I think we’ll have to cut it open. But that’ll trip the alarm for sure. I’m not sure what-” “Let Roben try.” He turns to the boy and nods. Roben places an eye in front of the reader. A red light turns green and the door lurches open. Roben smiles while Lika looks at Kile, confused. “Apparently his grandfather was one of the engineers here. Turns out their irises were close enough to count as a match. Found him after Luther did a search of the juvie records we cracked last month. Watch him a minute. I’ll get the seeds.” Kile goes through the entryway to a small room filled with cabinets labeled with the names of various fruits and vegetables and begins stuffing canisters into two large duffel bags. Lika lets out a sigh and smiles at the boy. “It’s gonna be a while before you can taste your first orange. But I think you earned this, at least. Do the honors?” Out of her bag, she pulls out a can of green spray paint and a stencil and hands it to him.” Roben’s eye widen as he looks it over. “You’re Puño Verde!?”
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Oct 5, 2014 23:22
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| # ¿ Jan 24, 2025 03:14 |
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Nov 20, 2014 10:13
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