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ThePopeOfFun
Feb 15, 2010

In. Prepare for eternal shame given the death of death.

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ThePopeOfFun
Feb 15, 2010

It Is Really Only God Who Kills
1233 Words

I am the only one alive who remembers dying. The only one with memories like when the old man's head stopped shaking negative. Or her resting of her chin on her chest. She wasn't napping anymore. I won, you see, chosen. We had found immortality, at least according to their theorems and the rats that kept on running and running and running. Didn't even need food. They tried starving one. It just stopped moving after a while, but its eyes, they said, its eyes would still dart. They waited months, and the eyes were still darting, so tried to feed it. It couldn't even move, but whatever they did to it, whatever they did to me, kept it going. From rats to rabbits. Rabbits to pigs. Pigs to apes. Animal rights went ape-poo poo, making GBS threads out all kinds of uproar. Didn't matter. We're not talking about research here. This was it, the ultimate ceiling. We could do anything, we always thought, if we just had more time. More time, we always need more time. Time isn't even real anymore, not really. Not when no one dies. From apes, to me and some others, a group of probably fifty or more. I never counted. I didn't care either way if it worked. If I lived forever a lot of time would pass and I could forget or at least get numb after a while. If I died, nothing new. We were close enough to apes anyways, might as well give it a go. There was ceremony and ritual, turned it all in to some kind of religion. The world watched as we were paraded in front of masses, frothing ecstasy over immortality. I wondered if any of the billions realized they weren't ever receiving the treatment. They'd all be dead and dust before just anyone could live forever. Didn't matter. The people behind these things aren't really people.

Some of the others, after all the parading, after all of the glory, were wondering if it would hurt. I didn't care. I knew what it was to hurt. Have you ever hurt? None of the others did, they were all soft, pampered by the age. Pampered so that we finally had to crack Alaska's sternum. We needed at his heart, see. We were desperate. Someone had to do the cracking. I went north. I was promised pay, housing, food, they said. Turns out, we were more desperate than anyone like me knew. We were worked into the frozen ground, and there was enough money in oil to keep things like that hushed up. We laugh at oil now. I talked to a guy with a camera once, but he was gone soon enough. A video made the rounds. It was the man with the camera, only bad things were happening to him. None of the workers knew anything about it. We understood. We had no choice.

They fed us slop. I mean that word, slop. I only know now they were testing on us even then. Some future food source. I never had any issues with it. Put some guys in the hospital with bloody poo poo. Guess I'm lucky. If you could stomach it, slop was a miracle. Muscle gains animal strength anyways working with machinery like what we had. But slop turned my muscles into machines. We were all machines. I thought I understood strength, I didn't know I would ever think anything hurt after having fingers crushed mechanically in twisting chains and shredded in drill bits. Frostbite was just as bad. Didn't know my boot had a hole till my toes started thawing in the shower. Doctor was too far away. They didn't let us have knives. All our tools are on site. I took a hammer home though, the day before. Some nails were coming loose in the Alaskan extremes. Did what I had to do with the claws. Once you get past those first few maimings adrenaline takes care of you. Did it real quick after I felt my heart pick up. Stopped the bleeding with an iron. I hooked the iron up to a spare truck battery I kept just in case I woke up, and the one in my vehicle was frozen. Made the thing red hot, worked right well. You could do the same if you were pressed hard enough. Have you ever done the same? We all have it there, somehow. It's one thing to do it yourself. It's another to have something done to you. But I figured if I won the contest, they could fix my toe too.

I thought I understood myself, thought I could handle blood and bone and doing things to my body the mind can't figure. But what they did was different. It went to the bottom of me. They told the world they were just working on DNA, and that they had researched. But they didn't tell me about how it would hurt. About how we need death and to remove it, they didn't just change my DNA, but no one believes me when I say this part. I had that iron because there was a church in our camp and a man can't go to church in a wrinkled suit. That's how I was brought up. Hard and righteous. I've always known there was a God and that just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not real. Well I know for sure there is a God now and I talk to Him and I ask Him, "Please, please, please, don't let it be that they took my soul away" because they didn't just operate on me. They said the soul is willing and has to let go and that is how we die. I figured, when they said that, it made sense because my grandfather, the one who stopped shaking his head, he just decided to stop shaking. I know it. He held on until he was ready to let go and they said now that my body was immortal, my soul would get tired sometime and want to get out and then I would go mad. All of the others went mad and they had to reverse things. There are videos of that too. I know there is at least one, because I have seen it and it too stole something from me and I will never have it back. So they made my soul never let go somehow. I couldn't and still don't understand how they could acknowledge my soul and not God, so I asked them about it and they just laughed. They said that God wouldn't save me. I asked why I needed saving if what I was getting was the good thing everyone said it was. We're not saving you, they said, the scientists I tell you, they said this. They said we're not saving you. We're going to kill everyone, we arenít sure if it works but we'll know after you all, they said. If you can't die, Walton Herschel, how will you ever see God? I will not tell you what they did then, only that Satan himself was there and I have seen hell and I don't know how, but they killed me and then everyone else on this planet and no one dies anymore or believes me and I am still waiting asking praying for Jesus to come back.

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