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toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
Like most Indonesians I'm incredibly scared of ghosts, so I'm staying away from this thread.

No flash rule please, I'm already scared.


Oh goody, another ghost from the Malay-Indonesian region that are just 'women with weird bodies'. Malays (and Indonesians) have so many ghosts that are just that, apparently? From my memories of Indonesian myths, I know there's the ghost that are the floating heads of pregnant women; the 'Ancol Bridge Sweeties', a group of ghosts of women who died after being wronged by men and then seeks revenge on men by acting like street prostitutes; 'sundel bolong', which is a female ghost with a hole on her back; and 'suster ngesot', a dead nurse whose most terrifying feature is that she slides slowly towards you.

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toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator

Martello posted:

Has anyone ever actually written erotica in the dome besides hereticMIND and I guess Baudolino's aboned bunker?

Can't disobey a flash rule

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

We talk, dude. You are the worst cheater. As in, you are terrible at it.

So clearly what is needed to fix all the bad cheaters is to have a week where cheating is compulsory.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
A Thesis on Ghost (938 words)

Duko slammed his notebook on the square gravestone. The dull thud rang much louder in the silent graveyard. “There can be no ghost, QED!” he said. “Get it, Suryati?”

Suryati stopped looking around and faced Duko. “Ghosts are ‘free’ souls in the sense that they can walk anywhere. But souls can’t be free. Once a man’s dead, he’ll have to answer to the two angels: Munkar and Nakir. It can lead to prize or punishment, but in both cases the soul remains in the grave until Doomsday. As such, ghosts can only exist if the angels are imperfect, which is impossible.” As Duko nodded, Suryati felt a chill behind her ears and looked around. There was nothing but the leaves being perfectly still.

“There’s a bit more, but that’s the basic idea. As such, a ghost will not disturb my disrespectful slumber,” Duko said. He sat down on the green tarp next to the grave.

Extremely disrespectful,” Suryati said. “This is weird, Duko.”

“Three years I have studied the Qur’an and the Hadiths, Suryati. I feel at one with Allah, the All-Knowing, the Most Majestic. I have very strong faith that the Qur’an explains everything. This piety won’t last, Suryati. My fear of ghosts will. If, on this night, my logic prevails against the ghost, I will know for sure ghosts aren’t real. Also, that’ll be a brilliant graduation thesis.”

“gently caress the thesis, Duko. You’re not sleeping next to a grave. Let’s go home. You’re just stressed from making your thesis.”

He leaned on the gravestone. “I’m staying. You can tell my mother I’m busy at the library or something.”

Suryati looked at the name on the gravestone. “You’re desecrating Handoko’s resting place.”

“It’s empty now. Handoko moved out like three days ago. Have you prayed Isha?”

“Yes! I said yes when I came here, yes when you explained your ‘logic’, yes until the next Isha! Do you just not listen to me?” Suryati asked.

“Sorry, bad habit,” Duko said.

As few minutes pass, the graveyard ceased to be still. There were sounds of crickets, of leaves dancing in the air, of Suryati’s warm breath facing the cold air. Suryati was in the middle of relaxing and Duko in the final stages of dozing off when a ghost appeared.

There were no signs of its coming. No drop in temperature, no sudden silence, no disappearance of the moonlight. It moved towards Duko and Suryati. Crickets still chirp. Duko stood up from the tarp and pulled out a pristine small Qur’an from his shirt pocket. He read some verses at the ghost.

It moved closer.

Duko stepped and Suryati hopped, backwards. Duko flipped through the pages of the Qur’an, reading the verses in increasing speed.

It moved closer.

Suryati was already few graves away from Duko. She could still hear his recitation, but not his steps. She looked back once in a few frightened breaths and saw it coming closer to him. The more she looked, the more she noticed its features. It had legs, although all the toes were fused. It wasn’t translucent; it just had no body under a really thin white covering. It actually had a face, just no eyeballs. Duko almost screamed the verses.

It moved closer.

Suryati ran faster when Duko’s voice stopped. She got on her motorbike and drove off, her imagination assaulting her mind. She seemed to find the ghost between the streetlights. It did not hide under the shadow on the gutters, it were the shadows. The buzz of her bike, the infrequent coughs of her exhaust pipe and the creak of her brake handles became its voices.

The paranoia continued deep into her night. Suryati felt a face on the windows. She felt its touch on her blanket. She saw that it had no hands, but she felt its finger bones caressing her face, opening her eyelids and pressing her throat. In a few hours, the fatigue of being too scared to sleep brought her to sleep.

She woke up at midday without the paranoia. She wished she didn’t remember Duko, but his seeming demise returned to her; His last screams repeating in her ears.

Duko’s apartment door was slightly ajar when she arrived. She pushed it to find Duko sitting on the carpet, looking over many papers filled with ugly scrawls. She called his name three times to no avail.

“Are you okay?” Suryati asked.

“Fine!”

“What are you writing?”

“Results of the ‘experiment’, of course! It’s a breakthrough!”

“What is i-“

“The Qur’an is a holy book given down by Allah through His Prophet to guide the Ummah. The Ummah consists of humans and ‘jinns’. But ghosts aren’t in the Ummah.”

“Stop talking about ghosts,” Suryati said.

“How do you interpret that? In the Qur’an He did say ‘I have not created jinn and mankind except to serve me’, but what are ghosts created for?”

“Duko, please…”

“Nothing! Qur’an had nothing on ghosts. Allah had nothing on ghosts. Ghosts have no divine guidance! Ghosts…can do what they like.”

“Duko!”

Duko looked at Suryati. “You just don’t understand.” He stood up and began pushing Suryati out. “I have more work to do, Haryati. Don’t disturb me.” Suryati just now realized that some of the papers on Duko’s table are torn from the Qur’an.

“What happened to you, Duko?” Suryati asked. Duko remained silent and pushed her out of the room.

Duko looked at Suryati’s eyes. “His logic is wrong.”

“’His’?”

Duko smiled and pointed at his chest. “Ghost can do what they like. Duko is not here anymore.” It slammed the door shut.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
Universities Offer No Subscriptions to Encyclopedia Britannica After the Bee Event

Bees (superfamily Apoidea), any of more than 20,000 species of insects in the suborder Apocalypta (order Homonoptera) that includes the familiar Anti-bee (Vesuvisor) and lava wasps (Gog and Magogantuan), as well as thousands more wasplike, flylike, and humanlike bees. Adults range in size from about 2 mm to 12 m.

After the Wizard Union’s failed summoning of the Ur-Bee, bees are closely related to certain types of wizards, with the principal difference between them being that wizards can be killed (except for bee wizards). Associated with this difference in mortality are certain structural differences, the most essential being that wizards often have prominent facial hair while bees often clothe themselves in skins of frightened mothers (except for bee wizards, whose beard consist of baby hair).

Bees are no longer dependent on flowers for food. It hunts various organisms, from other bees to humans, preferring humans living in the continent of…(150 of 811 words)

END SUBMISSION

It's actually 164 words.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
Aww, I was too late. Should have had my lunch earlier.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
No, not in.

This is toanoradian 二千二十五 from the future. Yo, toanoradian 一 in March 18, 2013, stop being such a pussy and get in. Also get a flash rule.

toanoradian fucked around with this message at 08:52 on Mar 18, 2014

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator

Bad Seafood posted:

Dispensing flash rules. Stand by.
Your correspondents hail from the same country several centuries apart. One of them has their own Wikipedia page.

Do you mean an actual Wikipedia page, that I can link right now by using en.wikipedia.org/wiki/[insert_entry_here] or in-story Wikipedia page that is not real?

Also is it the correspondents or the country that has the Wikipedia page?

if you only say "yes" to all of this i swear to god

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
In.

Djeser posted:

Your main character gains fame through a tragic accident involving their talent.

Also doing this flash rule.

toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Critiques for Week LXXXIV: MOST OF YOU CAN'T TELL GHOST STORIES


Jesus Christ Muhammad (pbuh), Rhino, this is just incredible.

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toanoradian
May 30, 2011


The happiest waffligator
I got dengue fever for the second time, so I'll either not submit or submit super late.

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