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  • Locked thread
Feb 25, 2014


Feb 25, 2014
Foreign Language
Word Count: 942

The rhythmic beat of the dripping water on cold stone was interrupted briefly by the quiet bang of a muffled thunder clap. I sat uncomfortably on the makeshift stone stool, awaiting the return of Logi.

I’ve spent five years on this lovely planet. Being trapped in these dark, dank caves for any amount of time is a nightmare. Combine that will only having the company of a gestating group of speechless pink masses and the Artifices that speak with such advanced words that you’re not even sure if they’re insulting you, you get a recipe for mental health degradation. Though, the rest of the Artifice left after they decoded the Laban’s language. Kind of lonely without them, but at least I still got Logi. A good kid, a little wet behind the ears, but he listens.

As an ambassador for the Council, I’ve seen hundreds of races, but the Labans are unique. This primitive race doesn’t have anything; no electricity, no fire, not even doors. Hell, they hardly even have a hierarchical system, just the older ones appear to be more influential, though that’s just an assumption on our part. Whatever. I hope they just accept our offer quickly, so I can get the hell out of here and never come back.

Though Logi seems to be taking his sweet time talking with the Elder. We finally decipher their language, so now it’s time to negotiate with them. If Logi decided to convince them on his own, I’m going to kill that arrogant Artifice. I’m the only person authorized to speak with the Labans, and he’s there merely to translate. I don’t want to be reported over this idiotic assignment.

Logi then appeared in the doorway of my makeshift cave home. “Woltz, I am experiencing some unforeseen complications. I require your assistance.”

Finally, for the first time on this stupid rock, I got something to do. “What the gently caress did you do Logi?”


“What do you mean you don’t want to talk to me!” I shouted at the pink glob with a pair of protruding tentacles, softly illuminated by the portable lamp.
Logi performed a strange shuffle, and the Laban moved its limbs in a hypnotic fashion.

“He has no interest in talking to you. Or me. Or anyone for that matter.” Logi translated.

I curled up my fist. All this time, and this is what I get. Some backwards species not even willing to listen.

“We’ve spent five years here trying to understand your language, and you won’t even indulge us in the slightest? Can’t you at least hear us out?” I said.
Logi twisted and turned his limbs, and the Laban elder responded with a rapid flick of its tentacle.

“He says no.”Logi said.

“Look, we got food, resources, technology. Things you and your people have never seen. Just, come with us to see the Council. That’s all I’m asking for.” I said.
Logi moved about for a minute, and the creature retorted with another flick.

“He says no.” Logi said.

All the Council propaganda bullshit that gets most other races wasn’t going to work on them. Probably saw through the tightly woven veil. ]

“Listen. You have resources that the Council wants. If you don’t join us, they will take what they want. They don’t care about your species, especially if you resist them. Come with me, and I can help.” I said.

Logi spoke up, “Woltz, it is advisable not to say such ill words about the Council. Under our parameters, we are not authorized to make comments that would undermine or criticize the Council. That is grounds for…”

I interrupted Logi, “Shut up. Tell him anyway. And also, if you want to report me, I’ll gladly tell them that you had unauthorized communication with the Labans, and that it was you who undermined this entire negotiation. You will lose your position, and I’ll be perfectly fine. I’ve been here for ten years, and I get results. You, like all other Artifices, question their authority. They don’t like that, and they’ll drop you in a heartbeat.” I’ve learned that the best way to deal with problems is to nip them in the bud. Logi’s still young, so threats like these still work.

“Of course Woltz, I will cease all criticism of your tactics. I’ll assume you have the only best intentions for your creative methods.” Logi said. Good. Didn’t want to fill out the forms anyways.

Logi then translated my earlier statement to the Laban elder. The Laban responded with another flick of its tentacle.

Logi started, “He said…”

I interrupted again, “I know what he said.” If this species was willing to risk its entire existence then join the Council, little could be said to persuade them. But then, I remembered a key point from my lessons in negotiations. Every race wants to either improve itself, protect itself, or teach itself. The Labans were no different.

“You have the chance, probably the only chance, to leave your planet and see what lies beyond your caves. If you don’t take this opportunity, you and your people may never be able to learn about what else lies outside of what you know. There’s so much more to see in this universe. You can see it all. If you would just come with us.” I said.

Logi moved his body in an awkward twisting of limbs, and the Laban responded with a couple rotations of its tentacles.

“Sorry Woltz, but it declines your offer.” Logi said.

“Can I just ask why?” I said.

Logi curled his limbs, and the Laban curled its limbs in response.

“They don’t ask why.”

Feb 25, 2014
"Things Will Never Be The Same"
Word Count: 94

Joseph’s hand twitched as he gripped the steel handles. He anticipated the hordes of beasts that would flood through the supermarket, mindlessly seeking out the last vestiges of humanity to quench their insatiable appetite. He reflexively squeezed his finger into an invisible trigger, realizing that he was also unarmed. With a deep breath, he pulled open the door, ready to face the beasts that had haunted him for years.

The constant beep from the checkout line and the shuffling of items brought him back into reality. Things really did get back to normal, huh.

Feb 25, 2014
gently caress it, I'm in with this:

Feb 25, 2014
Original story


Edit: Forgot word count: 750 words

A Mammoth of a Problem

We laughed until we cried. The gigantic mammoth stood there, confused, as our laughs sounded through the neighborhood. All these years, and the only thing we could do was laugh and smile.

“We did it! We finally did it!” Sharon squealed as she raced towards the giant tuft of brown fur and wrapped her arms around the beast.

“Yeah,” I said, “But now what?”

“Well, she needs a name!” Sharon said.

“How about Sally?” Katie whispered.

“That’s a perfect name! Sharon, don’t you agree?” Sharon nodded.

“Ok, Sally it is.” I said, as I stared at the mammoth trapped in my roofless room, “But right now, we got to find a way to get Sally into the backyard.”


A few days after Sally was revived, a man in a dark suit appeared outside of our house.

“Hello. How can I help you?” I said after I answered the door.

“You must be the man who resurrected that mammoth, correct?” The man asked.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Well, you see, I work for a business that’s very much interested in that creature of yours. They see a fantastic business opportunity with such a rare animal. They wanted to know if you are willing to sell it to us.” He said.

“How much?” I asked, unnerved by his wide grin.

“Five million.” The man said plainly.

I stepped back in surprise. With that money, Sharon and Katie’s college could be easily funded. I nearly cried yes, but my mind conjured up the visions of Sharon and Katie laughing as Sally snorted, and I couldn’t bring myself to agree. Not before I asked the girls.

“Wow, that’s a lot of money. But, my daughters, they love Sally. I can’t do that to them. They have as much say in the well-being of Sally as I do.” I said. Without those two, I would’ve stopped years ago. Every hour I worked to make Sally a reality, Sharon and Katie were by my side. Every set back and failure slowly drained my dedication. I thought it was impossible. Sharon and Katie knew it was possible. Sally was a reality, not because of me, but because of the girls.

“Could I have a little extra time?” I asked.

“Of course, this is difficult. Two weeks, and I’ll come back.” He said.

“Thank you sir. I’ll think about it.”

“But you should know sir, this is your only opportunity to accept the offer. Afterwards, the deal is off.” He said as he walked back to his car.


I came outside to the intoxicating sound of laughter. I called to the girls, “Hey, girls, can you come here for a second? Daddy has something to ask you.”

They left Sally and came towards me.

“Yeah Daddy?” Sharon asked.

“Well, you see, the other day, this man came by, and he offered to give us five million dollars.”

Sharon eyes lit up and smiled. “Really!” She said

“Yeah, but in exchange, he’d take Sally.” The words came out slowly.

“No. No!” Her voice grew louder, “I won’t let anybody take Sally away!” She said, her smile faded.

“Sharon, please! I know you love Sally, but we have to make hard decisions sometimes. I just want to make the right decision.”

“No, I’m not letting Sally go!” She yelled as she threw itself into Sally.

Katie stood there, shaking, tears slowly falling from her eyes.

“Katie, please.” I placed my hands on her shoulder, “Don’t cry.”

She leaned her head into my chest, her tears chilling me to the core.


The ticking of the clock reminded me that I hadn’t fallen asleep. My thoughts were too focused on Sally. I tried to convince myself I knew the right decision. But every time I considered taking the money, I remembered Sharon and Katie’s laughter the first time they saw Sally. I couldn’t imagine telling them I took Sally away from them.

I rolled about in bed, my eyes heavy, when I noticed the light in my backyard. Tired, I stumbled into the backyard.

Sally was sound asleep, her breaths quiet and brief. I smiled, still amazed by the creature. Before I turned to leave, I noticed a blue object underneath Sally. I walked towards the slumbering beast.

And there, I saw Katie and Sharon both curled up underneath the pile of fur. Their breaths were short and sweet, laying still with Sally. I laughed. With my mind made up, I slept peacefully in that bed of brown fur alongside Katie and Sharon.

Feb 25, 2014
Sounds like a fun way to gently caress up.

I'm in.

Feb 25, 2014

docbeard posted:

I feel the need to stretch my critiquing muscles, so the first three people to ask get line-by-lines.

Returning the favor by critting someone else's story is encouraged, but not required.

Also, I'm in.

I would like a crit for my most recent story for thunderdome. Sitting Here talked about punctuation, and that's one of my big issue. I'll crit somebody else's as well when I get back from school.

Feb 25, 2014
In with a :toxx: for not submitting last week.

Feb 25, 2014
Word Count: 812

Small Town Justice

My hands trembled as I aimed the gun at Christian.

“You don’t have to do this man. You want money? I can give you some cash. Just, just, don’t shot, alright,” Christian said.

“I don’t want any of your money.”

“Then, what do you want?”

“I want to see you get what you deserve.” I shouted.

Christian collapsed to the floor. “Please, please don’t kill me.”

“Get up you piece of poo poo.” I said.

Christian scrambled to his feet. “So… So you’re not going to shot me.”

“I never said that. Just, have some dignity, won’t you?”

“Please, just don’t shot me. I’ll give you anything. Just don’t kill me.”

“Stop talking!”

“What the gently caress is wrong with you?” Christian whispered. “I didn’t do anything to you.”

“You ruined my sister’s life.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Caroline, you piece of poo poo.”

Christian’s eyes expanded and his body began shaking. “Dude, just, just, this isn’t right. Killing me won’t change anything.”

“Shut up!”

Christian screamed and collapsed to the floor as the door was kicked in. Footsteps pounded against the floor as I lowered the pistol.

“Place the gun down on the floor!” a voice yelled behind me.

“Officers, this kid, Christian Vermontz, raped my sister. His father, the chief of police, purposefully hid all evidence that incriminated him.” I said as calmly as I could. “I’m willing to go with you officers, if you promise me there will be a real investigation.”

“Of course, now just put down the gun and walk away.” The voice said. I looked into Christian’s eyes and gave him a grin. Christian stood there as the officers poured into the room and surrounded us.

I felt the cuffs bound my hands together while an officer walked over to Christian. The officer tied up Christian and he broke out of his daze.

“What the gently caress are you doing? You’re going to believe this lunatic! He points a gun at me, and you’re just going to listen to him! Do you even know who my dad is?” Christian shouted.

“Calm down, Christian. I’m sure this is all some kind of big misunderstanding. We’ll get this all sorted out, I promise. You’re a good kid and you’re dad’s a good cop. Just come with us down to the station.” The officer said as Christian struggled in his chains.

I was moved outside of the house to hundreds of cameras pointed at me. Reporters rushed to me with microphones in hand and surrounded us. The officer pushed me through the crowd.


Caroline sat behind the glass window and her eyes meet mine. I sat down and she opened her mouth as if to talk, but no words came out.

“So, how’d the trial go?” I asked.

“He…” Caroline paused, “He got off free.”

I stood up and slammed my fist on the table. “What! How the gently caress did he get off!” I shouted.

I looked behind me and saw the warden walk towards me. I sat back down and hoped the warden wouldn’t come to me. A lot of the wardens knew Alfred and didn’t like what I did to them.

“Is everything alright?” Caroline asked.

“Yeah, yeah.” I said. “Anyways, what the hell happened?”

“He’s got connections. His dad’s got a lot of money and he got a good lawyer. That’s just how these things go sometimes.”

“Of course.”

“But it’s not all bad. The news were all over it like flies on poo poo. People are calling for the chief to step down and everyone knows what Christian did. How the hell did they even know you were going to do that?”

“I put in a few calls. Happy to see that it actually led to something.” I smiled.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” She said.

“Yeah. I know.”

Caroline smiled for the first time in a long time.

“Well, I’m sorry.” She said.

“For what? This wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what other people did.”

“No, not, not for that. For letting you go and do something stupid. I should’ve known you’d do something rash like that”

“Even if you told me not to, I’d do it anyways.”

Caroline looked down, trying to hide her tears. “It’s just. Ten years.”

“Caroline, its ok. It’ll probably be more like seven anyways. The wardens love me.”

“Still, that’s a long time without you.”

“You’ll do fine. You’re strong.”

The warden shouted behind me. “Get up, time’s up.”

“Thanks Joey. For sticking up for me when no one else would.” Caroline said.

I put my hand on the glass. “I love you Caroline.” She put her hand on top of mine. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”

I smiled as the warden grabbed my jumpsuit and pulled me up. I looked back at Caroline sobbing and I almost let a tear fall from my eyes.

Feb 25, 2014

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:


Who wants to go?

Time to put my honor on the line.

Me and you. Mano a mano. No holds barred.

Feb 25, 2014

Feb 25, 2014
Inspired by Wind Beneath My Wings

Word count: 917

In the Shadows

Chris opened the door to the basement. The light from hallways spilled into the basement and Chris’s shadow appeared. He smiled at his old friend.

“I brought another one for you,” Chris said.

He turned the light switch on and the room became illuminated. His shadow grew darker. They walked over to the small girl who was tied to a chair.

The shadow detached from Chris and floated over to the girl. She squirmed as Chris approached, unaware of the shadow that moved around the room.

“Maybe this time it’ll work.” Chris said to the shadow.

Chris checked the ropes, ensuring that the girl was restrained. She let out a soft whimper, but Chris ignored her.

“Alright, it should be good.” Chris said.

The shadow approached. The girl became enshrouded in shade and she struggled in her chair. Her screams were muffled by the cloth and she shook furiously. The shadow sunk into the girl’s body and she went limp.

“Did it work?”

The shadow reemerged from the body and came back to Chris.

Chris sighed.


Chris stared at the white ceiling, listening to the monotonous beep echo in the room.

He heard footsteps and looked towards the door, hoping to see an old face to greet him. A shadow appeared under the door. His heart rose.

But the shadow moved into the room without a person. Chris passed it off as nothing more than a delirious illusion. The shadow moved around the room, but Chris turned his head away from it. He closed his eyes, ignoring the anomaly. He was tired, although all he did now was sleep.

He woke up to a faintly illuminated room. He opened his eyes and found that the shadow was still present. Chris was skeptical of whether what he saw was real or fake. A faint whisper was heard from outside the room, but it was too soft to be heard.

“What do you want?” Chris asked the shadow. Chris shook his head. He was literally talking to shadows.

The shadow came over to Chris and felt a chill as it approached its body.

A faint voice was heard from outside the room, “Do you need help?”

Chris sighed. “No. I don’t.” Chris wasn’t frightened by the voice. It was kind and soothing.

“Will you help me?” The voice came from inside the room.

“I don’t think I can.”

“If I help you, will you help me?”

“How can you help me?” Chris asked.

“I can give you a new life.”

Chris smiled.

“I’ll do it.” Chris said.

A warmth came over Chris. With a sudden surge of energy, Chris pulled off all of the needles and devices stuck to his skin. He stood out of bed and opened the door to leave the room.

“Thank you.” The voice now came from inside Chris’s head.

Chris followed the shadow outside the hospital. The sun’s warmth had been forgotten by him, but he was ready to take advantage of his new opportunity.


Chris walked out of the basement and into the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen table and took a swig of his coffee.

“The next one will work.” The voice said.

They had gone through countless possible hosts, but none of them were viable. All of them ended the same way.

“Yes. Of course.” Chris said.

“We just have to look harder.”

Chris was doubtful. He was looking harder. Every person he brought in was better than the last, but every time it ended in disaster.

“We need to find the perfect host.” The voice said.

Chris was beginning to believe there was no perfect host. Even if there was one, how could he know? He had a system in place that he believed would find him the right person, but there has never been any success.

“Are you giving up?” The voice asked.

“Of course not.” Chris replied.

“Good. Remember our deal.”

Chris laughed. Of course he would remember the deal. The shadow would never let him forget.

“We’ll find the right one. I promise.” Chris said.

Chris got up and put on a coat. He had a few more people that he needed to test and others to observe. As he opened the door, he stopped.

“Could I be your host?” Chris said to the shadow.

“It’s a possibility.” The voice said.

“Can we try?”

“No. If it would fail you would die and I would have to find someone new to follow. People aren’t keen to accepting deals with a shadow.”

“Every time we’ve done this, it has failed. We have to try something new or you’ll never get a body. Maybe it’s me, and there’s only one way to find out.”

The voice was silent for a moment. “Fine.”

Chris walked back into the kitchen and sat down.

“Thanks.” Chris said, drinking the last of his cold coffee. “Thanks for everything.”

The shadow broke from Chris’s body and stood upright. The shadowy figure perfectly resembled Chris’s frame. The darkness moved closer to him and before it touched him, the shadow disappeared. His body tensed up as he felt knives being plunged into his chest, each strike was more painful than the last. The pain lasted for only a moment. Chris’s body went limp.

A crunch echoed in the room as Chris’s body was forced to move its hand. It struggled to push itself off the chair, but the body was defiant. It slumped back into the chair, but a smile appeared on its face.

Feb 25, 2014

Gau posted:

Edit: Changed my mind, Broenheim and WeLandedOnTheMoon you have until 1:37 THURSDAY PACIFIC to post your delicious stories for me to tear into pieces.

Alright, here you go:

Wordcount: 1676

The Blood of an Emperor

The emperor’s life is above your own. Those words rang in Weng Zhou’s mind as the fires roared outside the carriage.

He brandished his knife and stood up. The emperor, calm as ever, pulled him down.

“Father, let me go!” Zhou said.

“Don’t be foolish. You’ll die if you go out there.”

“I’m not going to watch you die!” Zhou’s body trembled as he heard the clashing of blade outside.

“You’re inexperienced. If you step out there, you’ll be killed in an instant.”

“I don’t care! I’d rather die than watch you be killed!”

“You’re hardly fit to wield a blade. You dying here will accomplish nothing.” The emperor said.

“Then what do I do?”

“You run.”

Zhou’s heart stopped at the mention of leaving his father to the bandits.

“I can’t.”

“You must.” The emperor stood up and pulled off his insignia, “Take this and flee to the palace. It should not be more than a day’s travel south.”

Zhou hesitated to grab the ring, “No. I can’t do this.”

“Son, you have to do this. Not for me, but for the good of the people. You must take up the throne.”

“Father,” Zhou started, but the tears stopped him.

“Go now, before it is too late.”

“Ok,” Zhou wiped away the tears and took the ring. “Father. I love you.”

“I love you too, son.”
Zhou pressed his hand on the carriage door, and before leaving, took one final glance at the emperor. The emperor sat down, awaiting for the inevitable.

Zhou charged through the door and buried his head to protect himself from the flames. Grunts and screams pierced his ears as he fled quickly into the forest on the side of the road. The sound of cracking leaves followed him and he took a look back. Three or four men, swords drawn, chased after Zhou. He picked up speed.

A thunder clap sounded through the air and rain feel onto Zhou’s cheek. He prayed that the storm would save him.

Zhou stopped just before he feel into a raging river. He was trapped. Too far to jump and too strong to swim through. If he jumped in, he would surely drown.

The storm was not enough to stop the pursuers. They had him surrounded. Either die by the blade or by the river. Those were Zhou’s only choices.

Lightning then stroke behind the bandits and lit the forest into an inferno. Zhou and bandits watched the fires burn in awe.

“We must leave! This boy has control over the heavens themselves!” One of the more superstitious ones shouted.

“Silence! If we leave, Lady Feng will have our heads.” Some of the bandits inched closer to Zhou.

A spark in the sky caught Zhou’s attention. A great serpent swung down and landed between the boy and the bandits. The impact of dragon nearly sent Zhou falling into the river.

“Leave vile men, lest you wish to challenge a dragon?” The beast’s voice boomed.

The bandits knew better than to face such a foe and fled into the forest. They would rather endure the fury of the flames then the wrath of a dragon.

The dragon turned his head towards Zhou. “I am Shenlong, servant of the emperors. As the rightful heir, I offer you my services.”

Zhou could hardly believe that a dragon had appeared before him. He had heard legends, but none spoke of one coming to protect a man. “Noble dragon, thank you for your assistance. But I do not understand. Why have you come to help me when I am nothing more but a coward?”

“You are China’s true emperor. I am here to ensure that they are safe and that they maintain the throne.”

“Thank you Shenlong, but I cannot lead the people. I am hardly even a man. I am not fit to rule.”

“Ah, but you can lead.” Shenlong poked Zhou in the chest, “It is in your own blood, and if you do not, I fear that the peace your father worked so hard to create will end.”

“No. I don’t know the first thing about being a leader.”

“You must, or all of China will suffer.”

Zhou remembered the name the bandits spoke of. Lady Feng. She was ruthless and cunning, but he never thought anyone would betray his father like that.

“I can’t.” Zhou shouted.

“If you do not, this land will be plunged into chaos. Peace was finally returned. With me by your side, peace can be restored.”

“Ok. I’ll do it. For everyone else.”


Zhou pushed through the crowd of people. Lady Feng called for everyone to witness her coronation, and Zhou took the opportunity to reveal her treachery.

The clamor of the crowd revealed that Feng had shown herself. He quickened his pace and almost reached the front.

“All hail the new empress Feng, bringing forth the Feng dynasty. May her rule be long and prosperous.” A voice said.

The crowd bowed but Zhou stood tall. He saw her, dressed in a golden robe, staring at him.

“Why did you not bow to your new empress?” A guard shouted.

Multiple heads from the crowd looked up at the defiant Zhou.

“You are not my empress Feng. I am your emperor. I am Weng Zhou, son of Qin Zhou, and I am here to take back the throne you stole from my father.” Zhou raised his hand high with the ring. “And here is proof of my lineage.”

The crowd gasped but Feng only smiled. “Poor child. You father is not Qin, and you do not hold the blood of royalty. You are nothing more but an orphan, and adopted by Qin because he lacked an heir. Guards, take this fool away.”

“Blood does not give me the ability to lead. It is my actions.”

“Silence!” Feng shouted.

The guards clamored down the stairs with their weapons raised, but Zhou stood tall. A spark appeared in the sky, and Shenlong landed between Zhou and the guards. The crowd gasp at the sight of the dragon.

“Dragon, who do you serve?” Zhou asked, attempting to hide his shaking palms.

“I serve you, Weng Zhou. The true emperor.”

Feng stood there, mouth agape.

“Guards!” Zhou shouted with feigned confidence, “Take Lady Feng away. I shall decide her fate later.”

The guards moved towards Feng and she stood there silently as she was restrained. Zhou watched as she was moved deeper into the palace.

“Zhou,” Shenlong said, “The people.”

Zhou turned around and saw the gaze of hundreds of eyes locked on him. He froze.

“Do not be afraid. You are the true emperor” Shenlong whispered in Zhou’s ear.

Zhou took in a deep breath.

“I, Weng Zhou, son of Qin Zhou, am the emperor of China. I shall serve this land as best as I can.” Zhou said.

The crowd stood silent for a moment. Shenlong moved to the side of Zhou, and together they looked at the crowd. One by one, the people bowed to Zhou. Zhou tried desperately to stop the shaking, but a strike on his back got his attention. Shenlong grinned and Zhou look at the backs of those he now served and remembered what his father had done for them.


Zhou rushed to the open field with his burlap sack and jumped on Shenlong’s back.

“Are you sure you wish to do this?” Shenlong asked.

“Yes! Now go, before the guards realize what I’ve done.”

“Where to?”

“Anywhere but here.”

Shenlong pushed off the ground and rose into the sky. Zhou looked back at the palace and saw it slowly fade away. They rode along in silence as they raised above the clouds.

“Zhou, this is extremely foolish. We can go back.” Shenlong broke the silence.

“No. I’m not fit to be the emperor. I found a worthy successor. He’s young, sure, but he’ll do a fine job.” Zhou said.

“This is incredibly selfish, think of what your father…”

Zhou interrupted the dragon, “My father wanted me to do what was best for the people and I’m doing that right now.”

The dragon sighed. They travelled for several hours before a great mountain came into sight.

“Shenlong, what is that?” Zhou asked, “I’ve never heard of a mountain so large.”

“Neither have I.”

“That seems like the perfect place.”

Shenlong found a shallow area to land and Zhou jumped into the deep snow. They looked across the horizon, but all they could see was clouds.

“It’s like we’re in the heavens themselves,” Zhou said.

They trekked along the rocky surface and Zhou found a cave to make his home. Shenlong lied down outside as Zhou created a fire and began preparing a makeshift bed out of leaves. He opened his burlap sack, and brought out a piece of parchment and ink and walked into the cold.

Shenlong watched as Zhou walked over to the ledge and sat down. Zhou focused on the paper and began painting, his brush strokes quick and strong.

“You left your duty to paint?” Shenlong said, his voice echoing in the mountain.


“You have a duty to your people, you have no right…”

Zhou interrupted the dragon once again. “You do not understand. I’m an orphan. I don’t have the blood of a ruler. All I want is to be free.” Zhou looked across the sky.

“You we’re supposed to rule!”

“I’m not a ruler, I’m just a kid. I just want to paint.”

“You cannot just run from your problems!” Shenlong’s voice echoed in the moauntains.

“Not alone, at least.” Zhou smiled at the dragon. “So, thanks. For everything.”

Shenlong laid back down and looked at the boy, “You were right. You are a coward.”

Zhou laughed, “Yeah. I am.”

Zhou continued to paint until the sun had fallen. Zhou grabbed his canvas and moved towards the cave.

“You can leave if you want. I’m not going anywhere.” Zhou said.

Shenlong looked towards the land below him. “I’ll stay here. I prefer the company of a friend.”

Feb 25, 2014
oh poo poo wrong thread

flerp fucked around with this message at 03:08 on Jul 1, 2014

Feb 25, 2014
I'm in

Feb 25, 2014
Shannon is visiting Los Grano D'oro to see the festival held there every year. She's a twenty-something year old whose spending her youth (and the rest of her parent's money) traveling the world, and she's already been to a good amount of places. She's young, but cautious, and tries her best to blend in with the crowd. She'd rather watch something from afar instead of getting involved.

flerp fucked around with this message at 07:24 on Jul 2, 2014

Feb 25, 2014

Sitting Here posted:

Alright, that means one more lucky 'domer gets a date with Goldie.

I'd like to take it.

Feb 25, 2014
Another Day In Los Grano D’oro

Word Count:833

Shannon with briefcase in hand walks through the lonely street of Los Grano. She looks back to see if anyone is behind her. A few people, but no one she’s worried of. She turns around, anxious to get back to her hotel.

A tap on the shoulder causes Shannon to jump in surprise. A young woman, dressed in a dark jacket and short skirt smiles at Shannon.

“What have you got there,” The girl points to the briefcase.

“It’s mine.” Shannon lied. She found it on at a bus stop. She wasn’t sure whose it was, but her curiosity got the better of her. She couldn’t help but to pick it up.

“The name’s Goldie,” The girl winks at Shannon, “I don’t know how you got the briefcase, and frankly, I don’t care. A lot of crazy things have been going on tonight. But that briefcase is very special to me, and a lot of other people. I just want to see it go to the rightful owner.” Goldie pulled the blonde hair away from her eyes, revealing dark brown eyes focused on her. Her seductive voice unnerved Shannon.

Goldie inches closer to Shannon. Shannon tenses up.

“Well, if it’s yours, then you can have it.” Shannon hands the briefcase to Goldie, but Goldie pushes it away.

“Oh, no, no, no. It belongs to a friend of mine,” Goldie pulls out a cigarette and lights it. She takes a long drag.

“Well, if it’s your friend’s, then you can just give it to him yourself.”

Goldie blows out her smoke in a perfect circle, “I prefer not to get my hands dirty. But you. You’re new to town, right?”

“Yeah, how do you know?” Shannon starts to take a few steps back.

Goldie lets out a light laugh, “Because I haven’t seen you in town before. But say, can you do me a little favor?”

“I don’t know what you what you want from me, but I don’t want anything to do with you. Just leave me alone.”

“Ah, don’t get so mad at me.” Goldie frowns. “We’re just having a friendly conversation. But alright, I’ll get to the point. I want you to take that briefcase over to this address.” Goldie pulls out a scrap of paper and hands it to Shannon.

“What? Do you do this to everybody? Just ask them to be loving Fed-Ex for you?”

“Oh, come on now. There’s no need to be rude. It’s a simple favor.” Goldie reaches into her
pocket. “You’ll be compensated, greatly.” She pulls out a stack of cash. “Five hundred right now, and five hundred when you deliver it.”

“I’m not going to be some loving drug dealer for you!” Shannon shouts hoping to grab the attention of nearby people. Goldie just throws her cigarette onto the street.

“Alright kid, calm down. There’s no need to freak out.” Goldie’s says in a lower voice.

“Then tell me what’s in this loving briefcase!”

“The only thing you need to know is that there is something very important in it. And before you ask, no, there are no drugs in it. All of this is perfectly legal.”

“Then why do I have to do it?”

Goldie shakes her head. “How about this, I give you five hundred now, and when it’s done, you get a thousand. And you don’t ask any more questions, alright. It’s that easy.”

“You know what, gently caress it. If it’ll mean you leave me alone, I’ll do it.”

Goldie smiles and hands Shannon the cash. Goldie reaches once more into her pocket and reveals a bundle of bubble wrap.

“Why the gently caress do you have bubble wrap?” Shannon asked.

“When you get to the address, you’ll see a catapult in an alley. Wrap the briefcase in this and launch it on the roof. After that, I’ll give you the rest of the money.”

Shannon chuckled. “Alright, no. gently caress this. This is so loving stupid.”

Goldie sighed. “Alright. Two thousand once its done. And no more complaining, please. It’s been a long night.”

Shannon swiped the bubble wrap from Goldie’s hands. “Ok, but I better get my loving money.”

“Of course,” Goldie said as Shannon walked towards the address.


Shannon stops as she reaches the address.

She walks into the alley and sees the catapult. It was made out of wood and duct tape, and even outfitted with wheels. Shannon laughs.

She wrapped the briefcase in the bubble wrap, and placed the briefcase in the catapult. The briefcase fit snuggly in the catapult, and sends it flying up onto the roof. She hears a hard thunk and a soft popping sound, and walks away.

As she leaves the alley, Goldie appears from behind the corner.

“Great work,” Goldie said as she takes out the last of the money. “And I’m a woman of my word,” She hands the money to Shannon who quickly snatches it.

“Thanks,” Shannon said, happy to finally leave Los Grano tomorrow. If this night will ever end.

Feb 25, 2014

Feb 25, 2014
Word Count: 112

Ah, Butter

He pushed around the salad as fireworks went off in the distance. All it was a pile of leaves. Charlotte looked at him with leaf sticking out of her mouth.

“What’s wrong?”

The fair was today. Deep fried twinkies, deep fried cookie dough, deep fried watermelon. Deep fried everything. He could be barbequing some hamburgers right now. Drinking a beer while watching the game.

“Do you not like it?”

He stabbed his fork into the bowl, and stuck one of the tasteless leaves into his mouth. He remembered the juicy taste of a steak, the classic sensation of chicken. He smiled at Charlotte.

“No, it’s great.”

He should’ve never married a vegan.

Feb 25, 2014

65 words

Dmboogie, your words are like trash,
All your stories burn and crash
This isn’t even a brawl
All you’re gonna do is fall
My words are made of honey,
And yours are just funny
Your characters are cliché
The plots don’t make sense
You’ll win one day
If you can just use the right tense

Go read a book and you might beat team Ock.

Feb 25, 2014

Sithsaber posted:

So are we starting a new week with the duck challenge? Here's a quacking gangsters rap:

This week is a bit strange, but what you did was a big no-no. Entenzahn asked the people who signed up this week to write based on his prompt to see who gets his wonderful and excellent service into their team (which will obviously be team Ock). You weren't signed up, so there was no need for you to give us your writing. If you would :lurkmore: instead of posting immediately, you'd realize what you had done. If you were really confused, you could've just posted in the thread, and we'd tell you that you should NOT have submitted.

Feb 25, 2014
1260 words
Back Home

Joseph stood in front of the house. He remembered the day they bought it; he held Carly’s hand and looked into her eyes. “I think this is the one,” he said and Carly nodded. He missed the house. He missed Carly.

He walked up the path to the door, weeds poking out from between the cracks. Joseph knocked on the door. No sound came from the house. He waited a couple minutes, then knocked again. Nothing. He turned the doorknob, and it was unlocked.

He entered, and was greeted by the sun pouring through the windows. “Hello?” Joseph shouted, “Anyone home? Carly?” His voice echoed in the house.

He walked towards the back door and looked out into the backyard. He imagined the fields filled with corn stocks and cherry trees, side by side. All there was now was brown that stretched as far as the eye could see.

He turned away, and called again. “Carly? Are you there?”

He walked into the living room, and on the coffee table laid a stack of envelopes. He picked up the first one. It was addressed to Carly, in Joseph’s handwriting. It was already ripped open, but the letter was still in the envelope. He unfolded the letter.

Dear Carly,

I’ll be home soon. It’s finally over. I don’t know how long it’ll take, maybe a month, maybe three, maybe even a year. But I’m coming. You don’t have to worry anymore.

Love, Joseph

He looked at the pile again. There was another envelope. It was addressed to Joseph, in Carly’s handwriting.

Dear Joseph,

I don’t have the words to say how happy I am. I miss you so much. I know I say that a lot, but I really do. I can’t wait to see you again. It’s been so lonely here. I know you like it here, but when you get back, maybe we can go to the city? For like a month? Just to try something new?

I’m sorry to make you think about these things right now, but being without you has given me a lot of time to think. I just want a change of pace, you know.

We’ll take about this when you get home. All I want right now is for you to just get here safe and sound.

Love, Carly.

Joseph placed the letter down. There was another envelope with Joseph on it.

Dear Joseph,

I’m so sorry. While writing my last letter, which I put with this one, I got kind of sick.The doctor came over, and said it was just a cold. Nothing to worry about, just have to get plenty of rest and not going out for a couple of days.

Anyways, I’ve called some people. I found a nice little apartment in the city. Maybe we could rent it for a little while, to see how things are? Just something to consider.

Love, Carly

There was another envelope.

Dear Joseph,

God, I don’t know how long its been. I’ve been really tired. I still couldn’t go to the post office. I’ll find the strength someday. The doctors keeps saying that I’m fine, that I’ll get over it in a couple of days. Doc says the stress is making it worse. So, don’t worry. I’ll see you soon.

Love, Carly

Joseph looked down at the pile again, and saw a letter, but no envelope.

I don’t think I can make it to the post office. I don’t why I’m still writing. Maybe just to show to you that I didn’t forget about you. You’ll be home soon, right? I’m tired of this awful house. You always wanted to live outside of the city, some place where your neighbors are miles away. I should’ve told you that I hated this house. It’s always creaking. I wish I could leave. When you get back, can we just leave this stupid house behind? I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being here, without anything to do. I wish you were here. That’s the only reason why I’m still here.

There was one last letter.

I don’t know how to say this. I don’t think I’ll be able to see you when you get home. I can barely write. I’ll try my best to bring these downstairs for you, so its easier for you to find. I love you. I want to say that to your face, but I know I can’t.

I don’t want to die though. It’s not that Hallmark kind of poo poo where I want to see you one last time. I do want to see you, so much. But I’m scared of dying. I don’t know where I’ll go. I want to say that I’ll see you up there, but frankly, I don’t have a loving clue, and I don’t want to find out. I’m so loving scared. I don’t want to die.

I know this’ll be hard for you. I can’t even describe how hard it is for me. Saying goodbye, knowing that I’ll never see you again. Never see anything again.
I don’t know what to say. I’ll miss you? I don’t even know if I can once I’m gone.

I love you. Just, please, don’t give up on the house. It was always your dream. Me and you, in a tiny little house, living our life day by day. Start up a little farm, maybe even a few kids. I never wanted that life, but I couldn’t find a way to say it. I just didn’t want to lose you. Keep the house. I don’t want you to lose your dream along with me. Keep it, for me.

I’ll always love you.

Joseph put down the letter and sat down in the couch. His tears spilled onto his shirt as he threw his pack at the wall. He smashed his fist into the coffee table, shattering the top of it. Glass impaled his hand, and blood dripped onto the rug.

He got up, and walked upstairs. He opened the door to their room. The sheets bulged upwards, hiding what Joseph feared. He looked away, took a deep breath, and went towards the bed. He pulled off the sheets, and saw her. She was still, her eyes closed and her blonde hair falling past her cheeks. Joseph started shaking, but he shook his head and gathered the strength to grab her and brought her outside.

He placed her gently into the back of his truck. The engine sputtered as he tried to start the car. After three attempts, the clank of the engines was heard, and he drove off towards the field.

He was at the edge of his land. He pulled out the shovel and dug a hole. He kissed her on the forehead, and softly rolled her into the grave. Joseph held back the tears as he filled the hole back up with dirt. When it was finished, he sat down next to her. He talked to her about the war, about what had happened. She was always curious in her letters, but Joseph knew better than to give details in his letters. He imagined her laughter at his jokes, her gasps at the suspenseful parts, and her breath of relief when he told her the final days. She would’ve held him, and whispered something into his ear. He wish he knew what she would say.

He placed his dog tag on her mound and got up.

Tommorrow, I’ll get this farm going. Joseph thought to himself as he stared at his home across the desolate field.

Feb 25, 2014

Feb 25, 2014

Song (I used a couple lines from it):

Word Count: 1084

Dark Times

Malinalxochitl grabbed her sword and walked out into the dark city. The sky had grown dark for days, and not even the stars shined. The city felt dead in the darkness, besides the few women who awaited the return of their husbands. Malinalxochitl followed the path lit up by lantern.

An elderly woman stopped Malinalxochitl. “Where are you going?” The woman asked.

Malinalxochitl looked at the road leading to the arena.

“No, no, no. You are not allowed there. That is for men alone.”

Malinalxochitl pushed the woman aside and said, “That is a place for warriors. That is where I belong.”


Ahuitzotl stood in the center of the arena surrounded by the corpses of his many opponents, the arena barely lit up by the torches. At first, there was silence. Then, a loud cheer echoed through the area. Ahuitzotl wiped the blood off his sword.

“Who else wishes to face me?” He shouted. The crowd stirred in anticipation.

“I do!” A voice came from a hallway leading into the pit. Malinalxochitl appeared from the hallway. The crowd gasped, but Ahuitzotl stood still. She stood in the middle of the arena, underneath the dark sky. All eyes were trained on her, but her focus was on Ahuitzotl.

He sheathed his blade and turned away from his opponent. He shouted to the high priest, “You cannot allow her to fight. She is too young.”

“Do not hide behind words Ahuitzotl. We both know that the only person who can defeat you is me!” Malinalxochitl said.

“I will not raise my sword to a woman!”

“Then don’t consider me a woman. Consider me a warrior.”

The high priest slammed his staff into the ground. “Enough! If she believes herself worthy, then she shall fight.”

“That is against tradition!” Ahuitzotl said.

The high priest looked up at the blank sky and shook his head. “Times have changed Ahuitzotl. The gods have abandoned us. Survival is above tradition.”

Malinalxochitl unsheathed her blade and pointed it at Ahuitzotl. Ahuitzotl put his hand on her sword and pushed it down. “You don’t have to do this,” He whispered.

“It has to be this way,” Malinalxochitl said. She raised the blade and thrusted it at Ahuitzotl. He dashed back, avoiding the attack. He shook his head, and took out his sword.

“Are you ready to fight?” Malinalxochitl shouted and raised her arms. The crowd cheered, and Ahuitzotl nodded.

Malinalxochitl rushed at Ahuitzotl and swung wildly at his chest. He stepped back, avoiding the attack, but Malinalxochitl continued to rush him down. He avoided each attack, but each strike got closer to him, until he felt the edge of her blade scrape past his chest. His blood dripped on the dirt floor.

Malinalxochitl charged once more, and raised her blade above her head. As it fell towards Ahuitzotl’s head, he parried it. Malinalxochitl stumbled backwards, and Ahuitzotl ran towards her. His attacks were quick and smooth, but Malinalxochitl was able to parry each one with ease. Ahuitzotl’s strikes soon became slower and weaker until he ran out of energy. His earlier fights had fatigued him, and he couldn’t keep up with his assault.

Malinalxochitl walked slowly towards Ahuitzotl. Ahuitzotl threw out an attack, but Malinalxochitl blocked it. She threw out a few strikes, and Ahuitzotl parried each one, but he knew she was testing him. Malinalxochitl stepped back, and smiled. Ahuitzotl grinned back.

Malinalxochitl ran at him, kicking up dirt, and plunged her sword clean through Ahuitzotl’s chest. His sword dropped to the floor, and the clank of the steel echoed through the arena. Ahuitzotl’s mouth spit out blood, and Malinalxochitl twisted her blade.

“I guess we are just the same.”Ahuitzotl said.

Malinalxochitl pulled out her blade, and Ahuitzotl fell onto the blood stained sand. “I guess so, father.” Malinalxochitl whispered.

The crowd was silent as Malinalxochitl stared at Ahuitzotl. She looked around her, at the hundreds of eyes trained on her, and raised her blade high into the dark sky.

“I am the champion of the Aztecs! If anyone wishes to challenge me, then I will gladly strike you down!”

The crowd stirred, but no one walked up. The high priest stood up and shouted, “We have our victor! Tomorrow, the ceremony shall commence!”

The crowd cheered, and Malinalxochitl picked up her father’s body and his blade, and carried him out of the arena. He would get a proper burial.


Malinalxochitl stepped out of her home dressed in a crimson robe. Two priestess stood outside, and nodded at her as she walked by them. Lined across the road were hundreds of citizens, cheering as she walked past. She waved and smiled to each person she passed. The city felt alive again in the darkness.

The priestess led Malinalxochitl in front of a stone pyramid, where the high priest overlooked the crowd. The high priest stepped down from the pyramid, and stood across from the altar.

“Today,” the high priest shouted, “is a day of great importance. The gods have grown angry with us.” He pointed to the dark sky. “They have taken the sun from us for our misdeeds. We did not give them the penance they deserve. But, for you, Tonatiuh, we offer our greatest prize. Our finest warrior.”

Malinalxochitl laid on top of an altar. The high priest brandished a dagger. “Gods, hear our prayers and accept our offerings. Bring us the sun, so that we may bask in your glory forever.”

The dagger was plunged into Malinalxochitl chest. It stung, and she felt it slid down her chest. She could feel the hands pull apart her skin. She wanted to scream, but she held her breath. Darkness overtook her, but she could make out a figure just through the void. Ahuitzotl stood there, wielding his sword, and smiled back at her.


The next day, the sun rose bright in the sky. Farmers were preparing to plant their seeds and merchants began setting up their goods, but that day was a day of celebration. The stockpiles were opened up and a massive feast was held. The children played, and the sun beamed down on the city.

As the sun began to fall, the high priest called everyone to the temple. He gave a prayer to all of the gods, including Malinalxochitl. The people cheered at the sound of her name.

That night, the priestesses looked towards the heaven, and saw a new constellation. Two warriors, their swords clashing against each other, were forever enshrined in the night sky.

Feb 25, 2014
145 words

First Day of School

Rex walked into the classroom, his Power Rangers backpack strapped around his tiny arms. He was nervous as all the triceratops stared at him. He waved as best he could.

“Hi, my name is Rex.” He muttered under his breath.

The class whispered amongst itself. “My daddy always said not to talk T-rexes,” Rex heard one of them say.

Rex put his head down and walked towards an empty desk. He opened his backpack and brought out his Power Rangers lunch box and opened it. It had a peanut butter jelly sandwich, and a note from Mom.

“Make sure to make some friends, Love Mom.”

“That’s an awesome lunch box!” Rex heard from behind him.

He turned around and saw a triceratops.


“Mind if I sit next to you? I’m the new dino here.”

Rex’s head perked up, “Me too!”

“The name’s Sally.”


Feb 25, 2014
Sure, I'm in.

Feb 25, 2014
It's been a while since I domed, so I'm in with a :toxx:

6 and 9, obviously.

Feb 25, 2014

Fanky Malloons posted:

nice try, loser

God damnit, I'm an idiot

3 and 9

Feb 25, 2014
Word Count: 1000 - Based on Story of Mr. Fox

Smoking Gun

The man’s body twisted and a pistol, polished to a mirror sheen, was aimed at Mark’s head. Mark stared past the silencer but could barely make up the man’s face through the darkness.

“Don’t take another step, or I’ll blow your head off,” The man said, just loud enough for Mark to hear him.

“Help!” A yelp came from the girl collapsed against the wall. The man turned back to the girl and sent the pistol slamming down. The crack of crushed bones echoed in the alley.

The man spun his head towards Mark. “Just walk away, and you won’t get hurt.”

Mark stepped back a few paces, but stopped. His body tensed up, but the man turned the pistol back to Mark.

“Don’t do anything too bold.”

With a deep breath, Mark turned around. He heard a muffled scream, but he forced his legs to keep moving. Once he turned the corner, he pulled out his phone. Right before he dialed 911, he heard a soft pop and the clank of metal falling onto concrete. Mark looked back and saw the man turn the corner and bolt down the street. Mark ran back to the alley.

Mark found the girl slouched on the side of a building. A small hole in her head poured out a steady stream of blood. He placed his finger to the side of her neck. No pulse. He called 911, then dragged her off the wall. He pushed his hands deep into her chest. He felt the ribs shatter underneath his hands, but he pressed as hard as he could.

With each push, Mark’s grew tired, but he couldn’t stop. He heard some voices sound behind him, but he continued to thrust his hands into her ribs. The paramedics pushed Mark out of the way, and the ambulance whined as it flew down the street and out of Mark’s sight. Mark was still kneeling on the ground, his hands shaking as the image of the girl was burned into his mind.


Mark pulled open the glass doors, and stepped into the backyard.

He found Josh sitting with Chris. Mark pulled up a chair and sat at the table with them.

Chris smiled at Mark, “Glad you showed up. Josh said he invited you, but I wasn’t sure you’d come. Where you been the past week?”

“Just some personal problems.” Mark said.

“Everything alright?”

Mark nodded.

“Good to hear.” Chris said.

“Yeah, I was worried about you for a while.” Josh said, leaning back in his chair and taking a swig of his beer. “Want one?”

“No thanks.”

Josh shrugged, “More for me.”

“It’s been a crazy week. Hardly had any time off. Nice to be able to relax.” Chris said.

“You guys assigned to that girl that was killed last week?” Mark asked.

“Nah, I’m not in homicide.” Chris said.

“You Josh?” Mark asked.

Josh shook his head.

“I was actually there.” Mark said.

“What!” Josh shouted. He looked around the backyard, and then turned back to Mark. “Sorry. That was loud. What’d you see?”

“I’ll tell you guys later,” Mark said as he rubbed his stomach, “I don’t think the food sat well with me.”

“You can’t just leave us hanging like this! You gotta tell us.” Chris said as Mark got up from his seat.

“I will, don’t worry.” Mark said. “Nature calls.”

Mark stepped back into the house and walked down the hallway. He stopped in front of Josh’s bedroom door. He took a quick glance behind him, then opened the door. It creaked, and Mark took another look behind him. No one.

Mark rummaged through the room, looking underneath the bed, behind clothes, and sifting through drawers. He went to the nightstand and pulled out the top drawer. There lay a silver pistol, polished to a mirror shine. Next to it was a silencer. He stuck the silencer in his pocket.

Mark sat back down with Chris and Josh.

“So, tell us what happened.” Josh said as he leaned forward.

Mark took a deep breath, and began. “It was late and I was walking back home. I heard this grunt, and a muffled shout coming from an alley. I turn around, and I see this guy standing over this girl. I took a few steps towards him, but he must’ve heard me. He turned around and pointed this pistol right at me. Even had a silencer.”

“No way,” Josh said, his eyes focused on Mark.

Mark nodded. “He said he’d kill me if I got any closer to him.”

“That’s loving crazy. What’d you do?” Josh asked as he put his hand over his mouth.

“I,” Mark paused, “just walked away. I tried to call 911, but then I heard this pop, and I knew what happened.”

“Holy poo poo. That’s what happened?” Chris said.

Mark nodded.

“Oh my god, that’s insane.” Josh said. “Just give me a second, I’m gonna get another beer.” Josh began to pull himself off the chair.

“Hang on a second,” Mark said, “It’s not over yet.”

“Yeah?” Josh fall back into his chair.

“That pistol, it reminded me of something.” Mark reached into his pocket, and gripped the silencer. “It reminded me a lot of you.”

Mark slid the silencer across the table and it landed on Josh’s lap. Chris stared at Mark.

“I know it was you,” Mark said as Josh looked down at the black cylinder.

Chris looked at Mark, and Mark nodded. Josh tried to jump out of his chair, but Chris lunged towards him and grabbed the back of his head. He slammed Josh into the table, breaking the plastic legs and throwing Josh into the grass.

“God damnit Josh, what the gently caress is wrong with you!” Chris shouted as he pushed Josh further into the dirt. Josh breathed frantically.

“Call 911 Mark,” Chris said, “Tell them that I got some piece of poo poo that needs transport.”

Mark pulled out his phone.

“The pistol is in his nightstand. Top drawer.”

Feb 25, 2014

Yeah, thank you very much martello. This was a huge help and something I definitely needed.

Feb 25, 2014
It's like the WWE Championship Match Except Neither of Us Want the Belt Made out of poo poo: Loser Brawl vs. JuniperCake!

Word Count: 1192

A Friend In Need

Every day, Isaiah would sit next to the Vincent Hotel, with a can full of change and a smile on his face. Every day, we’d sit together. I would tell him about my life, and he would tell me about his past.

Today, he was collapsed against the building clutching his chest and blood dripping from his lips.

I covered my mouth as I approached him. “What the hell happened to you?” I asked as I knelt down and inspected his wounds.

“Some kids, gang members I’d wager. They show up every once in a while. They usually leave me alone. Guess they didn’t take a liking to me today, huh?” Isaiah smiled as blood spilt from his mouth.

The blood poured out too steadily for it to just be a cut of the lips; a tooth was probably knocked out. Blood had dried underneath his nose, but otherwise it looked fine. His right eye looked like an eggplant. His left eye had some bruises around it. There were cuts around the face, like he was pushed against the asphalt.

“What’s the diagnosis?” Isaiah asked.

“Besides looking like poo poo? Nothing that a little dressing and rest won’t fix. Though you’ll have to get your teeth checked out.”

Isaiah reached into his mouth and felt around. “poo poo. Can’t find the tooth. Think I swallowed it.”

“Guess you’re gonna have to check your poo poo the next couple of days.” I said. Isaiah started to laugh, but his body shuddered as he gripped his chest tighter.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. They just got a good hit in. Knocked the wind out of me.” Isaiah looked away.

“Move your hand.”

Isaiah avoided my eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Move it.”

Isaiah sighed and slipped his hand away from his chest. I gasped. The leather jacket was ripped open and the layers of jackets were soaked with blood. It was still pouring blood, and his palm was stained red.

“You’re going to the hospital.” I said.


“You’re gonna die.”

“I’d rather be dead then be in debt.”

I clenched my fist and wanted to smash his stupid face in. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? Who would care if I died?”

I pulled back my arm, ready to smack him across the cheek, but he was already beaten to poo poo.

“I would.” I said.

Isaiah sighed and lowered his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about you.”

“Well you should, you loving idiot!”

Isaiah chuckled, but he winced and held onto his chest again. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts too much.”


“Why you still here?” Isaiah asked.

I turned to him. “Because there’s no one else that would be here right now.”

Isaiah tried to turn away, but he grunted and stayed still.

“A thanks would be nice.” I said.

“Why’d they even let you in here?”

“Told ‘em I was your daughter.”

Isaiah looked up at the ceiling for a minute.

“Thanks.” Isaiah said.

“I still want to beat the poo poo out of you.”

Isaiah winced as he chuckled. “I told you not to make me laugh.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

“I know.”

Isaiah closed his eyes. I leaned back in my chair and looked at my phone. It was ten in the morning. That would’ve been the time I walked past Isaiah in the morning, right before I got to work. He’d wave, say something, and remind me why I get up every day. Today was my vacation day.

“You know what the bill is?” Isaiah asked.

“Nope, haven’t asked. You would’ve died if I didn’t make you come here.”

Isaiah was silent.

“Is that what you wanted?”

Isaiah didn’t move.

“Isaiah, talk to me.”

“I don’t know.” He said.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You have to know.”

“I don’t think I wanna die anymore.”

For a moment, I almost felt sorry for wanting to hit him.

“Well, maybe I did before. I was getting tired of being lonely. Thought, even if I went to hell, I’d at least have the company of the devil.”

I shook my head. “You’re a loving idiot, you know that?”

Isaiah nodded. “I just thought, I don’t know, that nobody would miss me. I was just a bum on the corner, begging for change. Who the hell would miss a vagrant? For some reason, I didn’t think of you.”

“You don’t think in general.”

“It’s a wonder why you can only make friends with a bum.” Isaiah said.

“gently caress you.”

Isaiah laughed and he tensed up again. “It feels good to laugh. Hurts like a bitch, but it’s nice.”

“Yeah. I missed this. It’s been boring without you.”

“You should get new friends.”

“Nobody has stories like you.”

Isaiah shuddered, and then turned his head to me. “You wanna hear one?”

“Of course.”

“Back in the war, I had a couple of buddies. We were nice kids stuck in a hell hole. One day, we were out on a patrol. About five of us.” Isaiah started. He would never talk about the war. Every story was before or after the war. Never during.

“I don’t know what the hell happened. Some shouting, the rustling of the jungle, and then boom! We got lit up. Friend next to me, Raul, he gets hit right in the chest. I fire towards where the bastards were comin’ from, hoping to at least get ‘em off of us. Then I pick him up. Everyone else was trying to fight back, but I just kept my head down and moved through the trees. Don’t know what happened to the other three. Probably died right there. But somehow, I survived. Got back to camp, threw Raul on the operating table and he died there.” Isaiah paused. “I always wondered what he must’ve been feeling, knowing that death was coming. It ain’t a good feeling.”

We sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. I didn’t have much to say. Isaiah just laid there. Next thing I know, the whole room was shaking because of his snoring. Left a note for him on the stand next to him, and left.


I pushed Isaiah’s wheelchair out of the hospital. The ever clear blue of the sky shined on, birds chirping perfectly just out of sight.

“It’s been a while since the sun came out. Still cold as hell.” Isaiah said, “You don’t have to do this, you know?”

“I know.”

“You sure as hell didn’t have to pay my bills.”

“And what? Leave you in debt for the rest of your life? Anyways, you're gonna pay me back.”

“And how do you propose that I do that? The most I’ve ever made in a day begging was a couple hundred bucks, and that’s because you gave me it.”

“Well, first we shave off that stupid beard off, then we find you a job.”

“The beard makes me look good.”

“The beard makes you look homeless.”

I helped Isaiah out of the wheelchair. He closed his eyes and grunted as he inched towards the car door. He sat down, and I closed the door for him. I turned the key to the car and we drove back home.

Feb 25, 2014

Quidnose posted:

Do it anyway. Take the loss and take the crit. Learn and return.

I don't wanna win by default. I'd rather lose to a wirthy opponent then win without a challenge.

do it!

Feb 25, 2014

lol what gave you the impression that I could write?

Feb 25, 2014

Anomalous Blowout posted:

Broenheim submitted within the original deadline, but Juniper asked for clemency.

Apparently some people don't want to improve as writers.

Broenheim, you have bested your enemy by virtue of actually submitting something. Your piece The Smoking Gun is now elevated to the lofty status of DM. Juniper is the loser of week eleventyone.

I'll critique your brawl piece when I am no longer sick as balls.


Feb 25, 2014
gently caress it, I'm in with this guy (thanks crabrock)


Wanted: a functional Causality Violator Device

I am wanting a causality violation device.
I've tried to reconstruct one myself but I lack the equipment and financial means.

I want such a machine because (a) to recover personal items that have been either lost or destroyed but are of high sentimental value and (b) a chance to revisit my personal history before I die. I really like to video record me playing with my friends when I was a child. Just to share those as a vlog or podcast would be interesting and entertaining alone.

Besides, I am an anomaly in this world. I want to request Temporal Asylum but I have not the means to communicate to a Time Travel Commission of sort.

There are three time, non-native, periods I shall like to visit.

Thank you so much if you can help.

faewifujm dsanfsa


fsadddsfkj dsfhljfsda

and this gif

Feb 25, 2014
It started since the first jump. Every time I went, he was there. Sometimes he was in the horizon, sometimes he walked next to me. I didn’t know when he came from, but I couldn’t escape him. Except, in this city, he was gone.

He was a pale man, hardly five feet tall. He was bald with cold blue eyes. He always stood there, his face always casting a blank expression. He was dressed in a tuxedo carrying a small briefcase, but they changed colors after each jump. Last time his clothes were purple.

I had wandered the streets since I first arrived. There was no rift. The one I took to get here faded as soon as I entered this time.

I was trapped in this world with no escape. All of the people that were on the sidewalk with me were useless. I couldn’t interact with a world I was never a part of. It was just me. I hadn’t even seen the tuxedo man.

Eventually, I felt it. The unmistakable pull of a rift. It was too strong to for me to not have noticed it before. Someone had just created it.

The rift was a fusion of blue and orange that swirled above the asphalt, shooting off sparks that sent my hairs on end. I pulled out the rift manipulator and tried to change the rift’s destination. It wasn’t working. The rift was fixed to one era and that time had no rifts. There was no coming back from that time.

The swirls of blues and orange started turning faster and the colors grew so intense they burned my eyes. The rift drew in the air around it. Then, it exploded, knocking me into the asphalt. I turned back to the rift, and the man stood there, dressed in black. He gestured to the rift. He wanted me to go in.

Looking past the façade of color, I could only see darkness sprinkled with specks of light. I would be trapped there. I wasn’t ready yet. I had to find the Causality Violator Device. I had to find the memories that I had lost.

The man opened his briefcase and pulled out the Device. I reached for it, but he pulled it away. He locked eyes with me. He wanted me to work for it. He walked away, and I tried to follow him. Once he turned the corner of a street and got out of eyesight, he disappeared.

I walked the streets for god knows how long. He would appear, just out of reach, then vanish past the corner.

The sun had fallen and the darkness was scared off by the street lights. I was tired. I laid down in the middle of the street, and looked up at the barren sky, the stars hidden by the lights of the city.

The man was lying next to me. He was willing to give me the Device if I was willing to go into the rift. I nodded. He handed me the Device.

The memories sprung back to me like pain when the pills ran out. I saw a boy, his blue eyes closed. His pale face was rotted and maggots undulated between the holes in his cheeks. Muscles hung off his skin, and he smelt like the roads right when the rain starts to fall. I touched him, and his eyes opened. He gripped my wrist and dug his nails into my skin. I broke his grasp and punched the boy.

The man stared back at me. He wanted me to leave.

We stood in front of the rift. It had lost all of its color, even the lights. It was just black. The pale man gripped my wrist, and the chill spread like wildfire.

He went first. He was sucked into the rift. His grip loosened, then it was gone. I was still numb.

I went in. The city twisted and turned as I spiraled further into the darkness. People, buildings, roads, cars; they all fused together into a mass of terrible colors. I screamed, but my voice was lost. I struggled to reach for something to pull me out.

I felt the man’s cold hands grab mine, but his arms were shaking. He couldn’t hold on, and he dropped me. I plunged into the icy waters of the darkness. The chill felt like a needle plunged into my arm. My feet were shackled to dead weight, and I sunk deeper into the abyss.

Broenheim posted:

gently caress it, I'm in with this guy (thanks crabrock)

and this gif

Feb 25, 2014

Feb 25, 2014
i have to drop out unfortunately. It just wasn't happening this week.


Feb 25, 2014
Literally a creepy pasta

91 words

I was once at Olive Garden. I ordered the pasta, but everyone else ordered something different. When the waiter came back, everyone got their order except me. I asked the waiter what the problem was, but he said that my order was special, and that it would be coming soon. A couple minutes later, he brought it to me. I tasted it, but it tasted stale. I looked closer into it, and a saw something white protruding out from it. I reached in to grab and then a skeleton popped out.

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