FATAL & Friends 2014-15: The Neverending Storygame

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Rulebook Heavily: Sep 18, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

Cardiovorax posted:

Do they mention that Thor is a fertility god, not a god of war, and that Mj�llnir is a metaphor for his penis? Because that's what everybody gets wrong.

They may not be mentioning that because that's utterly wrong and Thor was absolutely a god of joy in battle. (And also fertility. He could be both. But mostly the former.)

Seriously, I'm seeing this misapprehension more lately. Where is it even coming from?

e: Like newsflash, here's how the Norse depicted a penis:

This is Freyr. gently caress phallic symbolism, just slap a dong on him if that's what you want to say.

Rulebook Heavily fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Apr 28, 2014

# ¿ Apr 28, 2014 15:50

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# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 11:24

Rulebook Heavily: Sep 18, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

occamsnailfile posted:

Freya goddess of love and beauty

Freyr�s twin sister, tried being chief Valkyrie but it didn�t jive with her hip hedonism man. And of course, all goddesses of love are sluts, and she is no exception--she�s been around the block a few times, but unlike all the others she isn�t possessive and spiteful about it. So it�s only half slut-shaming. But see, this gets worse: she had an affair with Zeus and Hera tricked her into drinking a potion from Eros that made her hate men and all her memories of her affairs have driven her to deep despair, she fled Asgard five years ago without a word because she�s so disgusted with herself and Hera stole Brisingamen (Freya�s necklace) too and this may cause a WAR you guys, how dare she not be ashamed and hurtful with her sexuality.

MDC 28.5K which is way more than they�ve assigned to a lot of the other love-goddesses. I guess that Valkyrie training paid off since nobody would ever worship a love goddess in real life. Also she is very very heterosexual, she likes men, until Eros made her not like men, this is a crisis and she will attack any male that comes near her. It�ll wear off in ten years though, not to worry. Brisingamen has stats too and will make things within 10 miles of Freya �more fertile� if she wills it. Also it adds to saves. That is as much as could fit on the page before doing stats for a tree.

No one ever talks about her cat chariot, her battle-boar, her hall which is a capsized warship which can house infinity people, the fact that she gets half of all the Einherjar that come to Asgard to serve as her personal guard and may be the "golden-haired maiden" warleader of the Vanir who is eventually defeated by Odin to form the covenant of Asgard.

Instead they all talk about that one single story where she's a human concubine to a king in Asia named Odin, lord of "Asialand", and the whole thing is written by priests somewhere between the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries to prove how Christian king Olaf Tryggvason was compared to those Norse pagans who worshipped mere men. And the earlier sources are completely ignored in favor of the one singular one with sex in it.

Trust RIFTS to find a way to twist the dagger harder. :v:

# ¿ Apr 30, 2014 22:14

Rulebook Heavily: Sep 18, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

It's telling that you could actually become a necrophiliac from looking at zombies in D&D in 2004 but even RIFTS had abandoned that poo poo for decades.

(Bonus awful points for D&D: it can also make you transsexual.)

# ¿ May 19, 2014 20:29

Rulebook Heavily: Sep 18, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

The real joke is that the bit I quoted isn't even from the Book of Vile Darkness but Unearthed Arcana.

It's open source.

# ¿ May 19, 2014 20:51

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