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OK, let's force convert Rhodes, then organize a royal marriage to represent marrying the Emperor's daughter Thekla to our Empress' son matrilinially, which we can mod in, so that their Komnenos offspring will be the TRUE GOD-EMPEROR/EMPRESS OF THE IMPERIAL ROMAN COMMONWEALTH!
Readingaccount fucked around with this message at 13:40 on Sep 6, 2014 |
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Sep 6, 2014 13:26
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Kaffa is ours again! I really must send the Ayiti a token of my family's appreciation. The finest sepia inks for them!
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Sep 6, 2014 14:15
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Is it just me, or is the Japanese republic... not just surviving, but actually thriving with it having taking chunk out of their enemy in that world map?
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Sep 6, 2014 14:18
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It is too sad that Orczy was unable to win the hearts and minds of the Magyar people. But to think his spirit lives on, in places further west than he would have ever imagined! Britain! Seeing constitutionality spring up in Japan is also beautiful, even if their distaste for the dynasty is disappointing. (Can the Japanese Republic trigger for the Kamakura if they go republican, or would they become something else?) (I imagine the Genchou wouldn't get it, since they are 1, already a republic and 2, mnogols, though on the rare chance of them surviving and succeeding, maybe they could reclaim the title of khagan or something)
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Sep 6, 2014 17:58
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GSD posted:It is too sad that Orczy was unable to win the hearts and minds of the Magyar people. But to think his spirit lives on, in places further west than he would have ever imagined! Britain! Seeing constitutionality spring up in Japan is also beautiful, even if their distaste for the dynasty is disappointing. The Japanese Republic event was specifically made when Fujiwara flipped (although now it's in the mod, so when I upload the final version after EU4 is done, you'll be able to see it yourself if Fujiwara goes republican again), since a "Fujiwara" Republic would make very little sense. If it'd been Kamakura, I probably would have made them their own event along similar lines, though.
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Sep 6, 2014 18:05
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Ichiro was successful in bringing democracy into the world 
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Sep 6, 2014 18:28
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quote: So hey, another Japanese Republic! Rome is actually winning some wars now! And This calls for celebrations! Traditional Lesbian Wine for everyone, on the house, right from the family vineyards! Seriously though Rincewind, this is so much fun to read.
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Sep 6, 2014 18:37
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Readingaccount posted:OK, let's force convert Rhodes, then organize a royal marriage to represent marrying the Emperor's daughter Thekla to our Empress' son matrilinially, which we can mod in, so that their Komnenos offspring will be the TRUE GOD-EMPEROR/EMPRESS OF THE IMPERIAL ROMAN COMMONWEALTH! It is too late for that! The bastard spawn of a Yaroslavovich sits on our throne, as if it is their right! They dare to befoul Rome's banner with the symbol of a disgusting pagan warlord! No dynasty or or Emperor that is worthy of it has sat on Rome's throne for centuries! The Radziwilli cowards allowed the blight of Bogomilism to infect our land, pathetically keeled over to the servants of Satan, worming their way out of earthly problems at the price of damnation! And the House of Yaroslav? They have been unworthy since the start! The last traitorous Komnenos Empress butchered her family for a glimpse of power, for the right to be a Russian puppet! And Yaroslav, that stinking barbarian usurper, that beast that crawled from the loins of that thrice-damned murderess, proved his depravity with the culling of the Senate! With the unnecessary and barbarous overturning of our greatest traditions and laws! He was rightfully punished, his pig of a daughter overthrown, but Italian traitors slaughtered patriotic Romans for their puppet. They have done nothing but blunder into more needless slaughter and loss since! drat them all! Dynasties should be a thing of the past!
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Sep 6, 2014 19:14
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Heeey, we expanded into Italy anyway! Mission accomplished, kinda? V2's coming up pretty soon, looks like.
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Sep 6, 2014 19:49
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Erwin the German posted:V2's coming up pretty soon, looks like. 75 years left according to the first post. Time enough for Rhodes to conquer most of the commonwealth and convert them to the one true sunni faith.
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Sep 6, 2014 19:54
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Cestrian posted:75 years left according to the first post. Calling it now, Rome will be Sunni before the end of EU4.
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Sep 6, 2014 20:20
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Blackunknown posted:Calling it now, Rome will be Sunni before the end of EU4. Nah, that'd be insanely wacky and out of place. Now Shinto, on the other hand...
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Sep 6, 2014 20:31
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sniper4625 posted:Nah, that'd be insanely wacky and out of place. I say we try for a good old Confucian run.
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Sep 6, 2014 20:40
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I'm going to leave this here, as a tribute to the greatest captain of the Blues in history. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZpfuV51kOE (More because everyone should hear it)
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Sep 6, 2014 20:43
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Redeye Flight posted:I'm going to leave this here, as a tribute to the greatest captain of the Blues in history.
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Sep 6, 2014 21:02
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Rincewind posted:Manto Hira is still working, though. There's a new protostrator, of course, but she's still working with her scientists, engineers, &c. to find new innovations to help the army. She's just recently showed her latest to the Imperial Society of Byzantion, and the government has duly taken it up. Yessssss 
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Sep 6, 2014 23:58
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ZearothK posted:Portugal não é um país pequeno. 
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Sep 7, 2014 00:05
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Have to say, that one gave me a huge smile.
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Sep 7, 2014 03:07
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 PART 48: The Black Chamber (1761-1802) ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: This is Agent Euphrosyne confirming receipt of the Great Seal of the Black Chamber. The new key to the Cipher of the Black Chamber is enclosed. Burn this message after reading it. Any agent sending messages using the old key should be considered rogue and terminated. Empress Anna's politics are hostile to ours– her tutor Ratoslov was too close to Yustina's household to deal with. In the future this will not be a problem: we have full access to Radziwill Palace via Arachne Lodge. With the government preoccupied with the ongoing war with Yilang, however, any attempt to construct a cabinet as singularly devoted to our destruction as the late Tsarina's will be impossible. This is fortunate; activating Zenon Lodge would be extremely premature and likely blow back on us quite badly. Most of Tsarina's old associates are dead or have been removed from public life. Prince Consort Elkystikés is still active, but he is uttery preoccupied with his missionary efforts in Byzantion.  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: The stench of death is on Yilang. The vultures are circling. -Baytasid Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Varangian memos refer to total Yilang military collapse; legions occupying vast swaths territory unopposed. Possible fallout re: political capital for Empress Anna? -Scipio Lodge  TO SCIPIO LODGE: Your concern is justified. The empire now extends as far east as it did in the reign of Trajan I. Expect Julians to take credit for that. We'll have to let them-- they're more concerned with the Junonians than us. N.B. that Trajan's empire extended further north, south, and west than ours. An odd, narrow, vulnerable thing our Commonwealth is. I've assigned Ziani Lodge to recruit agents familiar with the languages, customs, etc. of the new territories and seed them in the Committee of Venice. -Agent Euphrosyne  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Baytasid Lodge has confirmed reports of a union between the Turkish state of Alis and the rump Seljuk empire. Resulting Turkish kingdom still extremely marginal compared to Da Qin. Pity, really. Would have liked the last Seljuk to die by our blades. It's why our order was founded, after all-- revenge for the Hashahshin's atrocities on behalf of the Seljuks. -Brutus Lodge TO ALL LODGES: The manipulation of power for favorable outcomes is why our order was founded. Brutus Lodge is now obsolete; Arachne Lodge will assume their responsibilities. -Agent Euphrosyne  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Ah, what a pity! The Commonwealth is having some difficult digesting its Yilangese feast. The peasants are all agitated, the bean-counters are shaking their heads.   As the Phanariotes run hither and yon trying to set up administration and divide peoples and lands they know nothing of into poleis one gets the distinct impression that they've bitten off rather more than they can chew.  Here's the problem— thanks to that wretch 'Artemis' (now, thankfully, obsolete) everyone is blaming the Empress personally. The names 'Komnenos' and 'Radziwill' are on everyone's lips. And, in whispers, other names-- Hadrian Gümülcineli, Juno Koca, Ryuzoji Nagahito. Now, I don't like Anna one bit, but do we really want to roll the dice on another 1702? I imagine not, Euphrosyne.  Ah, one almost envies the Ming! A nice, orderly succession, from the Hongwu Emperor to the Age of Enlightenment. The Chinese remember the sorts of things that tend to happen when dynasties fall.   Emperor Houcong II of China To a certain extent I welcome all the disorder, of course. But those Azeri rebels in Shirvan Polis are a bit too political for my taste. Weren't we supposed to get on to of that? –Arachne Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: The banu Riyah dynasty is extinct, and the Commonwealth has lost a longstanding ally to a personal union. If only we could make new nobles current as easily as we make old ones obsolete. The bid to establish a lasting personal union failed, but the banu Riyahs are out and the al-Saids are in.   France continues to marginalize us on the continent.  The Venetian Committee has somehow convinced Ferrara that our desire for Orthodox unity trumps both our obvious desire to conquer Italy and our flagrant disregard for the Orthodox religion as heresy continues its slow march across the empire. -Ziani Lodge TO ZIANI LODGE: Excellent work as always, Ziani Lodge. However, we remind you that 'us' is the Black Chamber, not the Rome. Please avoid further such slips. Unlike Arachne Lodge, you are not totally indispensable. -Agent Euphrosyne  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Anna thinks she's the second coming of Julia Radziwill for all she natters on about the triumph of Reason and the Enlightenment and all that other Julian hot air. It's really quite tiresome; I wish we didn't still need her. Her premature obsolescence would be so satisfying. But I suppose we must think of higher things than mere satisfaction. -Arachne Lodge   TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Current army strategy tends towards the defensive rather than the offensive. Don't blame them.   Empress distraught over recent defeat of Russian cousins at the hands of France, and angry that Russia never thought to appeal to Rome for aid. Doubt our armies could have handled it, though. -Scipio Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: I'm afraid the King of France suffered from a little spider-bite and is feeling most unwell. What? It worked on the Seljuks. Worth a shot with those intractable de Valois-Vexins, don't you think. A little obsolescence here and there, put the fear of God into them, you know. You can thank me later, Euphrosyne. –Arachne Lodge   Queen Anne I de Valois-Vexin of France TO ARACHNE LODGE: Do you have any idea how much I resent the fact that we need to keep you around? Perhaps you should consider adopting a more productive attitude. I imagine that your Lodge would like to outlive your necessity if at all possible. I hope you didn't burn all your agents in France for your drat fool replacement of the French idiot king with his much more capable daughter. We'll need them. -Agent Euphrosyne  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: We're all playing the same game here. Don't act like the mystical trappings of the Order of the Black Chamber make you the Goddess of the night. You are a person or persons somewhere in Constantinople, as mortal and fallible as the rest of us. Our agents are still perfectly safe in France, by the way. Did you enjoy the wine at the last meeting of the Grand Lodge? They brought it. It's fun trying to guess whether or not you attend those things, and, if so, who you are. We can't, of course. But we have people, obviously. Everyone needs people.  Oh, the mood at the court? Well, Prince Trajan was quite keen to go off and fight the Papal State and its pals. He's more Trajan I than Trajan II, if you know what I mean. You'd hardly know this war started in Crimea. –Arachne Lodge    TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: The Japanese Republic is in dire straits following appalling losses at the hands of the much better-equipped armies of the Kamakura Bakufu.  However, the Ming have no desire to see the administrator of their proxy colonies overthrown by a Catholic military dictatorship. They have intervened on behalf of the Republic, and we anticipate Kamakura's gains will be ephemeral. Very short-sighted of Houcong II. The consequences of Ryuzoji's poisonous ideology taking root are far more dangerous than disorder in a few West Indies colonies. –Ziani Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Well, so much for the Pope. Straight to the Hiratine, I assume. The Habsburgs have cried some crocodile tears and made the Archbishop of Canterbury the new Pope of the Catholic Church. I expect they'll be upset in Kamakura when this news reaches them in, like, a year, or whatever. Too bad we can't cart off the contents of the Coffers of Orbetello, what with them being in Orbetello and all, but I expect the Sienese have spent most of it by now. Gold buys you a lot less than it did in the Papal glory days, anyway. You should see Trajan. So many Romans are half convinced that even after losing Rome, after losing pretty much everything, the Pope was still going to appear over the horizon with 100,000 frothing and heavily armed Church Militant and overthrow the empire. You'd think they'd seized Paris, not Parma, for all the pointless theatrics and celebration we've seen here. In a way, the Pope was a bigger bogeyman than the Valois-Vexins and Da Qin combined. Anyway, he's dead now. Goodbye, Pope.  The French were busy with another war against Burgundy so they aren't really feeling this one. It would seem that the Burgundians thought that the late King Godefroy left them Tirol in his will. What a strange coincidence that he should happen to die right around now! Ye of little faith, Euph.  With the French busy on a lovely Swiss hike, Trajan was free to mop up the B team.  I'm not going to pretend I thought the Burgundians would keep France busy for long of course. They're Burgundy for God's sake. Great clocks, great chocolate, pretty mountains. Not exactly going to stop the de Valois-Vexin titan in its tracks.  But when France turned its troops south, they were disorganized, tired, and their allies had already been massacred horrifically. And that makes all the difference.   TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Seeds in the Phanariote Committee have taken root. -Pericles Lodge  TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: Empress Anna Yaroslavovich is dead.  Her son Trajan now leads the Roman Commonwealth. He is an able administrator, but-- most critically-- an excellent military commander. He hiratined the Pope, and has won numerous victories against Yilang, Hungary, Lithuania, and France. He is very popular-- with the people in general, but, most importantly, with the army.    TRAJAN III YAROSLAVOVICH • CROWNED MARCH 31st, 1771 • EMPRESS CONSORT EUDOXIA ANATOLIKE OF VENICE He will likely continue to prioritize defeating France over all else, though. This gives us crucial time to arrange things to our liking in Constantinople. Still, Trajan III is a much more dangerous enemy to have than Anna. I hope you're watching him, Arachne. –Agent Euphrosyne   TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Now, look here, I know I'm in Constantinople and free to move among the highest echelons of court society, but that hardly makes me your errand girl every time you need to know about anything the upper crust here is doing. I can't believe you actually made me 'look into' the low attendance they've had the Hippodrome. Did you think that the Blues and Greens were plotting to overthrow the regime and riot in the streets? Does this look like the reign of Justinian? I still did it, though. The causes are entirely benign.  I'm also in Paris, by the way. I'm in several places. Why don't you ask me about that? Isn't our glorious emperor chasing the French army all the way to the Seine a bigger deal than the Blues being in a slump without Captain Ichiro? Or are you just the Lucius Verus of the Black Chamber, and you need the Hippodrome results sent your way so you know how much silver you've gambled away. The Greens won, by the way. –Arachne Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: I hate to say it, but there might be something to this Trajan III fellow. The French had no desire to stick their necks out for Crimea, of course, but the war was won so convincingly the French were forced to cede some of their territory to Rome. Liguria looks much better kept than it did when the Bulgarian Band ran the place, I have to say. -Ziani Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: The Church hasn't been in such a good mood since the Edict of Athens was promulgated. –Antioch Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: The Ayiti Federation has embraced Ryuzoji Nagahito's ideas about the separation of powers in hopes of preventing their people from embracing their ideas about the separation of monarchs' heads from their bodies. –Mordred Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Yilang are continuing to suffer the deleterious consequences of sticking their arm elbow-deep in the hornet's nest that is the Indian League. -Baytasid Lodge  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: Rome isn't afraid of France anymore. Or Trajan isn't, anyway. But what Trajan says, Rome thinks. They love him. They're already calling him Trajan the Great. It's been four years. Even Iouliana had to late longer than that. Rome should be afraid of France. Every time Rome's beaten them in a war, they were fighting on behalf of any ally they didn't particularly care for, and were distracted by matters more directly relevant to the House of Valois-Vexin. They haven't brought the hammer right down on their heads yet. Idiots! Did the Komnenoi try to beat the Seljuks, Saimids, Baytasids, Gauhar Ayin, etc., by threatening them and telling them they'd better not try any funny business? Only after their empire had been thoroughly tenderized by the Black Chamber.  Fortunately, the Trajanic Coalition was composed of Trajan himself, the Holy Roman Empire, and nobody else, so we probably don't need to worry about him doing anything stupid. -Arachne Lodge  TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: The Ayiti Federation have called us into two wars. The first is against the Haida.  Our war on the Haida is purely symbolic, as they rule the most distant and forbidding shores of Avalon, far beyond the reach of even our newly modernized and confident Navy. All we know about them is that they're a kind of western counterpart to the Ayiti, ruling a vast trade empire all of their own. Most of what little we know about them comes second-hand from a few Silla merchants who have visited their kingdom and published accounts of their travels.   Queen Qawkuna Edenshaw of the Haida Of more immediate concern is the Ayiti war on the Lai Ang. I expect it to go very much like the last one, but would still like a report from Lisbon Lodge about the current internal politics of the Lai Ang court.  Trajan isn't content to sit back and let the Ayiti take care of it, though. He has designs on chasing Lai Ang out of the Black Sea. Another excuse to cloak himself in glory. I don't like it. –Agent Euphrosyne  TO AGENT EUPHROSYNE: The Russian Yaroslavoviches have gone extinct. Looks like sending a whole branch of the family tree off to the Roman Empire wasn't the best idea in the world, since now some von Wismar second cousin twice removed is Tsar.  Trajan is determined to stay allies with Russia, but you know he's annoyed. Well, I'm enjoying it, anyway.  The invasion of Lai Ang's going pretty well. Isn't having a navy nice?   It wasn't enough to push Lai Ang all the way out of the Black Sea, though. That annoys him too. Stupid golden boy.  He's taken to fussing with the army obsessively...   ...and telling the Lai Ang traders left in the Black Sea where they could stuff it.  I think he's forgiven the von Wismars, at least. They've given him excuse to have another go at Yilang. Bloodthirsty fellow, our Trajan. I mean, we are too. We're in the business of thirsting for blood. But he's not any better than us, Julian enlightenment high horse or no.   The problem is, everyone loves him. Everything goes his way. Trajan the Great, conquerer of Yilang, destroyer of the French, great western friend to the Ayiti Federation. All the philosophes, monarchist, Julian, and Junonian alike attend his wife's salons and sing his praises. When he says, "jump", the peasants ask, "How high?"  When he says, "install little hiratines on Roman ships to improve discipline," the Navy asks, "How little?"  He even got the Russians to field an army that managed to stay in the field instead of immediately scattering the first time any enemy cannon fires within earshot. It really is quite intolerable.  Sorry, Euph, this one's gotten away from you. The horse is out of the barn. Only thing left to do is shoot it in the loving head before it gallops too far away. –Arachne Lodge    EMPRESS ARIADNE I YAROSLAVOVNA • CROWNED JUNE 28th, 1782 • PRINCE CONSORT KONSTANTINOS GOBROON TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: Lodge Arachne has performed unauthorized and extremely dangerous activities which have endangered the entire Order of the Black Chamber. Their members are to be identified and made obsolete as soon as possible. This is to take priority over all other missions. –Agent Euphrosyne TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: Oh dear, what a mess we've made of things! I hope you'll note that that last message from Agent Euphrosyne was in the old cipher of the Black Chamber. Just to job all your memories, the key for the current cipher is enclosed. Note the shiny wax impression of the Great Seal of the Black Chamber on it before you burn it, please. Poor Euphie. Obsolete, now, of course. She had such a small idea of what the Black Chamber could be. Rest assured: things will change now. We are somebody quite close to the imperial throne, and we can expect imperial cooperation in all Black Chamber business from here on out. Fun fact: The founder of the Black Chamber, back in the reign of Iouliana the Great, was named "Adriane". She was lowborn, but up, up, up she rose through the ranks, to become Iouliana's mystikos and, following Iouliana's brush with Zenon the Wicked, regent over all the Roman Empire. The Black Chamber is an excellent means of upward mobility.  Aren't anagrams neat? –Agent Arachne TO AGENT ARACHNE: Enclosed is the text of the peace treaty between the Ayiti Federation and the Haida. We're hard at work discovering where any of the territories named actually are and promise to get back to you as soon as we know. –Mordred Lodge  TO AGENT ARACHNE: The commoners have been agitating the patricians of the Somalian Republic for the vote. The patricians have responded by appointing Sherif Gobroon Dictator of the Republic for the 'duration of the emergency'. -Actium Lodge   TO ALL LODGES: The Russians need our help again. Yes, that's right, our help. We are Rome now. Don't forget that, my Black Chamberlains and Chamberettes. Fortunately, the late, great Trajan III left the situation in Yilang well in hand, so his sisters won't need to worry about that as we fight another stupid war with France.  Hopefully the Russians will be satisfied with what they've got instead of trying to fight a war on two fronts.  Those rumors about Anna I's parentage are still swirling around. I rather wish I could go back in time and kill Artemis sooner than we actually did. The damage was done by that point. Why we tolerate the press undermining the integrity of the empire at every turn, I have no idea. We'll have to do something about that eventually. -Agent Arachne  TO AGENT ARACHNE: The Russians have concluded a peace with Qiuming and Yilang. Enclosed is the text of the treaty. My counterparts in the Committee of Venice are already appraising the territories added to the empire.  Additionally, many of the other powers of the Near West have joined the Russo-Lithuanian war on one side or the other. Notably, the Holy Roman Empire Habsburgs and the British Habsburgs are on opposite sides. –Ziani Lodge TO ZIANI LODGE: Too bad we drew the short end of the Habsburg stick there. Ha ha! –Agent Arachne  TO PERICLES LODGE: A tax revolt? Really, Pericles Lodge? Don't these commoners know we're at war? At war with France? That's expensive, and we need to keep the silver flowing. Pick off the ringleaders before this bubbles up to the surface next time. Or I'll make somebody else my eyes and ears in the Phanariote Committee. Capisce?  TO ALL LODGES: Lodge Pericles is "obsolete", and by that I mean that I killed them all. Let's stop pussyfooting around with euphemism. We're writing in cipher. We're assassins and spies, and we killed people. Some of those people happen to be the former agents of the Lodge of Pericles. Cato Lodge, you're on point now. Do better, please. -Agent Arachne  TO ALL LODGES: Who thought sending in the home guard would be a good idea? You know we'll have to peel troops off the front. That sucks, but what would suck more is revolutionaries seizing the city and killing everyone. Galileo Sallajer. Sallajer. That rings a bell. Didn't they used to be Senators, once? No wonder this idiot's trying to scratch his way through the Theodosian Walls.  We can't let things like this happen. Even if we massacre every last revolutionary, they'll probably have (or have attributed to them) some stupid new political philosophy everyone will suddenly be okay with five years later.  I mean, it's fine now-- France decided they couldn't be bothered to win the war for Lithuania, which then made an honorable peace with Russia, etc., so now we could send troops back home. But still. Still.  Sallajer's been beaten, sorted, and hiratined, but harebrained philosophers will probably be misquoting him in coffee shops and salons for all eternity now. A latter day Juno Koca.  Also: Now that we have a navy, we're getting serious about it. Ziani, you're up. Make sure our officers are clean. –Agent Arachne  TO ALL LODGES: Does anybody know the whereabouts of Crown Princess Valeria? My agents have not seen her on the Radziwill Palace premises for some days. A few of the Constantinople lodges are also not responding to messages. Theodora Lodge and Obelisk Lodge should be considered obsolete, i.e., you should kill them if they rear their ugly heads in this town again since they're obviously super compromised. What a bunch of amateur hour bullshit this is. I'm quite cross. How does the Crown Princess slip out of our web? I guess she knows as well as anyone how we weaved it. –Agent Arachne  TO ALL LODGES: The situation has been sorted out. All is well; Theodora Lodge and Obelisk Lodge's conduct was impeccable. There was just a brief personelle shift at Arachne Lodge; no need for the rest of the Black Chamber to concern itself. Please note that updated ciphers sealed with the Great Seal of the Black Chamber have been included with this communique. Please use them from now on. Burn this letter, etc. -Agent Arachne    VALERIA IV YAROSLAVOVNA • CROWNED CHRISTMAS DAY, 1789 • PRINCE CONSORT IVAN VON WISMAR TO AGENT ARACHNE: The political situation in Russia is rapidly deteriorating.  As per your instructions, we have enacted appropriate contingencies.  Long live the Tsar. -Rurik Lodge   Tsar Pyotr I von Wismar of Russia TO AGENT ARACHNE: Lai Ang really wants that Black Sea port back from us.  We do not expect this to go well for them. -Lisbon Lodge  TO AGENT ARACHNE: We are pleased to inform you that the reconstruction and modernization of the Roman Navy, begun so long ago by Dido Bold and Yohannes Seyul is complete. -Pulcher Lodge  TO AGENT ARACHNE: Initial fighting is concentrated in Ao Di Li. It's going well, obviously. Strategos Hu is suspected of Junonian sympathies, but she's getting the job done for now.    Tianhui Catalina's colonial troops actually made surprising progress against Ayiti holdings in South Avalon, but the latest is that two large Ayiti armies have landed and the Calatinians are on the backfoot. -Scipio Lodge  TO AGENT ARACHNE: Our navy is the envy of the world.  The main fleet has engaged Lai Ang's navy in the Black Sea. After this, the Ayiti Federation will respect us as a maritime power in our own right. Mare nostrum! -Pulcher Lodge   TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: Is anybody surprised? I thought not. At least the Legion is getting its job done.  Croesus Lodge, I have a delivery I need you to make. Please contact me privately. -Agent Arachne  TO AGENT ARACHE: Not exactly relevant to our current situation, I know, but you will be interested to learn that the kingdom of Orissa have united eastern India as the realm of Hindustan.  Queen Tikayet Devi I Suryavamsi's Buddhist Hindustan has the potential to form a powerful counterweight to the Hindu Marathas to the west, which has benefited from the collapse of Yilang. -Bactria Lodge  TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: The Crown Princess Valeria is dead. Perhaps you've figured out who I am by now. Reckless of me, perhaps. But remember that you are just another tool at Rome's disposal; the same as the Committees of State, archons of the poleis, officers of the army, and so on. A most potent tool, but still a tool. Broken tools must be discarded. They say it was a hunting accident. Perhaps it actually was. But if it was any one of you, you'll spend the rest of your short and painful life wishing fondly for the hiratine's kiss instead of the gruesome death you'll actually suffer.  The empress's brother is now the crown prince. I don't trust him. Keep an eye on him.  I'm told the fighting in Ao Di Li went our way. Hopefully we'll be able to defeat Lai Ang with no navy. -Agent Arachne  TO AGENT ARACHNE: We've solved the problem of how to relieve beleaguered Anatolia without the ability to contest Lai Ang's blockade of the Bosphorus straits: by walking around the entire perimeter of the Black Sea and crossing back into Anatolia via the Caucasus.  Well, it worked. -Scipio Lodge   TO AGENT ARACHNE: The Commonwealth is on solid enough financial footing to be able to float a loan to hasten the reconstruction of the navy. It's much more efficient than building a handful of ships piecemeal every time the tax returns come in.   This might cause a brief period of inflation.  Nothing to worry about, assuredly. A few years of peacetime spending and we'll be right as rain. -Croesus Lodge  TO CROESUS LODGE: I wish you'd consult with Ziani Lodge before you do these things. At least France is sitting this one out.   The Legions seem confident, at least. Hope they're right. -Agent Arachne   TO ZENON LODGE: Zenon Lodge is activated. Please open the Black Seal and duly execute the orders contained therein. -Agent Arachne TO ZENON LODGE: Belay that order. It was not sent by Agent Arachne. Do not activate Zenon Lodge. -Agent Arachne TO ALL LODGES: Zenon lodge is obsolete! Finished! Execute them on sight. This is an order from the Empress! -Agent Arachne TO "AGENT ARACHNE": Your latest message used an out-of-date cipher. We cannot verify your identity; prior orders from Agent Arachne will stand. The Black Seal is opened. -Zenon Lodge TO ZENON LODGE: You must realize who "Agent Arachne" is at this point! Use some critical thinking skills! Come on. Why would I order the Black Seal broken? -Agent Arachne   TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: The Black Seal is open. We have done the duty required of the Zenon Lodge since its ancient founding. Now, we return to sleep. -Zenon Lodge  LORDS COMMISSIONER OF THE COMMONWEALTH, 1801 TO ALL LODGES OF THE BLACK CHAMBER: Gee, it's a swell thing Zenon did for us, huh? I'm sure the new emperor will show his gratitude as soon as he's old enough to tell those stupid, stinky Lords Commissioners where to stuff since what he says goes. The emperor finds Lord Commissioner Peneid particularly tiresome. So if you can just "obsolete" him, the emperor would be much obliged. Wink wink! By the way, I've just realized that "Arachne" is a girl's name. Let's call me Agent Romulus now, okay? -Agent Romulus TO AGENT ROMULUS: Yes, our lines of credit are still open. We're one of the leading powers of the Near West, you know. So we can continue our efforts to rebuild the fleet even through our current war. -Croesus Lodge  TO ALL LODGES: Boy, that Emilia Hu sure is killing everyone north, huh? Bit of a looker, too. Being emperor sure is great. Is what I think Alexios is thinking right now. -Agent Romulus   TO CATO LODGE: Are the people really complaining about the war? What a bunch of whiners. Is there anything we can do about that? Maybe start killing the really ornery ones at random. Put the fear of god into 'em. -Agent Romulus  TO ZIANI LODGE: You know about foreign countries, right? Which Bulgaria is this one? Please advise.    Pity about the Tsar. The emperor sends his condolences! He told me that. -Agent Romulus  Tsarina Elizaveta I von Wismar of Russia  TO ALL LODGES: Surprise! Agent Romulus was me all along!  Bet you didn't see that one coming. You'll find me a most agreeable patron, I'm sure. Revolutionaries, subversives, and Junonians are lurking in every shadow these days. But with a united front, we can keep the people in line. It'll be fun. Godspeed. ALEXIOS V, THE BLACK EMPEROR P.S. do you like my cool nickname  ALEXIOS V YAROSLAVOVICH, THE BLACK EMPEROR, CROWNED SEPTEMBER 19th, 1802 Empress Theonora fucked around with this message at 07:32 on Sep 7, 2014 |
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Sep 7, 2014 07:06
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good update, you should fix the italics tags though
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Sep 7, 2014 07:30
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God in heaven, a Black Chamber update.  Kinda saw that "twist" coming but, wow. This Emperor is gonna be fun. Hail Alexios V, The Black Emperor!
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Sep 7, 2014 07:50
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No new world map?
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Sep 7, 2014 07:55
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GSD posted:No new world map? Sorry, I forgot to take an F10 screenshot when Alexios V took the throne. The next update is already played and has a world map, though, so it won't be too long. Here's one from 1784, anyway: 
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Sep 7, 2014 07:58
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The emperor seriously looks like he needs a wedgie.
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Sep 7, 2014 07:58
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Rincewind posted:Sorry, I forgot to take an F10 screenshot when Alexios V took the throne. The next update is already played and has a world map, though, so it won't be too long. I didn't think Ayiti could get more terrifying. It will be uh, interesting to see them in Vicky. Also, I am hoping for a Napoleon. Not sure where he'd/she'd come from though. Edit: oh man did Lenape Texas (kinda) come back? Major props to Lenape.
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Sep 7, 2014 08:03
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I like this Emperor
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Sep 7, 2014 08:08
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This has become an exceedingly blobby world.
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Sep 7, 2014 08:14
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Just wait until nationalism hits. In other news, it looks like someone needs a wife.
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Sep 7, 2014 08:19
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Wait, so the new Emperor is a complete psychopath who killed most of his family? 
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Sep 7, 2014 08:36
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Akratic Method posted:This has become an exceedingly blobby world. I think you mean that this is an age.. of empires. Except it's a bit too late for that, so I guess we'll just have to settle for it being an age of kings instead.
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Sep 7, 2014 08:47
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NewMars posted:I think you mean that this is an age.. of empires. If anything, it could turn into an Age of Conquerors.
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Sep 7, 2014 09:04
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 Horatio Damaris of Damaris & Sons I am disappointed by our lack of action in restoring the Somali Patricians to their rightful seats and lands. It sets a dangerous precedent to the world when rabbles of citizens can force legitimate governments from their seats. First it is a nation most of us would be happy to have out of our way, next it is us. We must step in, lest we say to the polis that they can do away with our benevolent monarch. Your Majesty, I beseech you, please send the legions to Somalia and restore order and proper government. Better their lands be destroyed than our own when the inevitable revolutionaries begin to plot your downfall.
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Sep 7, 2014 09:25
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 Alizka Kalmarova Restoring the Somali Patricians to their seats will not put the genie back in the bottle. All it will do is waste Roman lives and silver for no reward. What you suggest is madness. If you want to show the people there is no need to topple the Monarchy, all you must do is give their voices an outlet. If you try to keep the lid on a boiling pot down all you will do is get burned when the pressure becomes to great. It is best to let the steam out before then. I say give them their own little senate. Let them play at politics and feel included. Do that and they will be divided between those who wish to work within the auspices of system for the betterment of the Commonwealth and the barbarians who seek only to burn it all down.
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Sep 7, 2014 10:18
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Horatio Damaris How much more of a voice do they need? With the bureaucracy and the Archon positions we enjoy a country where everyone has a voice. The Douxes are long dead and gone and the Senate was less democratic than we are now. We have seen the benefits of our system. Now as for the Genie and his Bottle, we can hardly say that it is beyond hope. The Republic in Japan has been crushed and Somalia will be no different. We are currently at one for one, we could make it two to none if we play our cards right. The restoration of the status quo will bring about it's own rewards as well. Somalia is one of our biggest markets, and at the moment I can say with great certainty that restoring the Patriarchs will bring about sweeping reforms in how they treat our own merchants. My family would save literal tonnes of silver no longer needing to pay the blasted tolls, duties and tariffs. We are not even the largest or wealthiest traders.
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Sep 7, 2014 10:41
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Fix those ugly borders in Anatolia 
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Sep 7, 2014 10:44
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Jeoh posted:Fix those ugly borders in Anatolia
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Sep 7, 2014 10:46
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So that's what 5 new empresses or emperors in that update, 4 of whom killed the previous one? Finally we're thinking like romans.
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Sep 7, 2014 10:47
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Lord Windy posted:
 Kalthoss Mars The archons are very much sufficient for local matters. But that is not enough. In the greater course of things the archons are powerless and bring no representation for the local man in the sweeping decisions of state, which I should not have to say, effect them to no end. They need to have their needs met too, in a way that the archons alone are simply insufficient for. And I will say this: Ideas do not die. Be it one year, ten years, fifty years or a hundred, change will come. The only decision to be made is to embrace it, tame it and become stronger for it or wither in futility. So, I feel a senate should be made, elected like the archons so as to insure democracy. A toothless institution to be sure, but one sufficient to pacify the people. NewMars fucked around with this message at 11:05 on Sep 7, 2014 |
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Sep 7, 2014 10:54
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Shanakin posted:If anything, it could turn into an Age of Conquerors. Just as long as those Conquerors aren't Forgotten, otherwise we'd dissolve into War Chiefs and the Asian Dynasties would take over the world.
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Sep 7, 2014 11:03
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 Bartimaeus AIYpogrammíseiImpy I notice with great concern the continued existence of Bogomilists. Need I remind you that their name is synonymous with revolution and discord, their very natures anathema to the structure of the state? All who have tried to overthrow the crown have done so under the Bogomil's brand: We need to make them an exception to the Edict of Athens owing to their acts of rebellion. We did not tolerate it from the Doukes in ages past, we should not tolerate it from these pagans now.
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Sep 7, 2014 11:31
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