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Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


The G.I. Joe action figure line was launched by Hasbro in 1982 as part of a multimedia blitz that included the popular cartoon and a series of comics published by Marvel. While most know of the cartoon, which was decidedly non-violent to fit Saturday morning sensibilities, many have no idea that the comic would have made legitimately good 80s action movies. This is largely due to the influence of writer Larry Hama.

The job of writing G.I. Joe fell to Hama largely because nobody else wanted it. Writing merchandising tie-ins always involves heavy corporate oversight and requirements to work in the new toys as they launch. It was hardly an environment to foster creativity, but Hama brought his A game. Hama had previously written a pitch to Marvel for a new series focused on the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. doing Cold War espionage type stuff, but it was rejected. Many elements from this pitch made it into G.I. Joe, which is why they wind up fighting Russians and generic Middle Eastern nations in addition to Cobra. An Army veteran from the Vietnam era, Hama used his own experience to throw in details which added an extra bit of authenticity. There are also lots of ninjas.

So join me in taking a trip down memory lane, or explore this hidden gem for the first time. Let's Read G.I. Joe #1!




AMERICA, gently caress YEAH!

Our story opens on a train traveling towards Washington D.C. Dr. Adele Burkhart, one of the nation's top nuclear scientists, is scheduled to testify before Congress regarding the Doomsday Project, a plan for global mutually assured destruction. Her military and Secret Service escorts are on high alert as she begins a press conference.



That sound? It's COOOOBBBBRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!!



The Secret Service are no match for Cobra and their gun-cameras, so Dr. Burkhart is quickly captured. The Baroness escapes with her through the window using a rapidly-inflating helium balloon and harness.

Cut to the Pentagon, where top brass are discussing what this will mean. The good doctor has a head full of military secrets, but not just anyone could make effective use of them...





The call goes out, and the Joes' training in their secret underground base is interrupted. Not everyone seems to be enthusiastic about a rescue.



The Joe CO Hawk delivers the mission briefing. Cobra has taken the doctor to a small Caribbean island, where they have her secured in an old Spanish fort. There will be a two phase assault. Grunt (Infantry), Stalker (Ranger), and Short-fuse (Mortarman) are to launch a diversionary attack on the island's airfield, leaving a single light aircraft intact. Scarlett (Covert Ops) and Snake Eyes (Ninja) will infiltrate the fort and destroy the generators that power the defenses. Flash (Laser Weaponry) and Breaker (Communications) are responsible for disabling the radar, which will open the door for phase 2.

Short-fuse voices his opinion that Dr. Burkhart could be considered a traitor for her exposure of top-secret projects.



We haven't even started the mission yet, and already a general and at least three of the Joe team think their target might be better dead than rescued. Cut to the island, where Dr. Burkhart seems aware of this fact as well.



Phase 1 is go! While Cobra may have been prepared for the Joes' assault, they certainly did not expect air support in the form of the J.U.M.P. (Jet Unit - Mobile Propulsion)!



Cobra's troops are routed, but Cobra Commander seems unfazed. It seems the diversion plan was too simple for a master schemer like him.




Meanwhile, Flash and Breaker are outside the radar station attempting to tap into the cable, only to find it secured inside solid steel pipe.



The fort team begins their infiltration while the airfield team carries out their attack, but something seems a bit off...



Now that the radar is dealt with, the heavy assault team consisting of Hawk, Steeler (Tanker), Rock 'n Roll (Machinegunner), Zap (Anti-tank), Clutch (Driver), and Grand Slam (Laser Artillery) hits the beach to provide armored support.



As the airfield and radar teams proceed to the rendezvous point, they pass through the fishing village, where we learn that unlike the cartoons Cobra actually is a ruthless terrorist organization.



The infiltration team destroys the generators, and it seems the Joes' plan may be working, as Dr. Burkhart is loaded into a convoy headed towards the airfield. With their defenses weakened and the heavy assault team bearing down on the fortress, Cobra looks to evacuate the doctor using the remaining aircraft.

Meanwhile, Rock 'n Roll is riding his minigun-armed motorcycle through the woods while one-handing an M-60.



As the Cobra convoy passes through the fishing village, suddenly, AMBUSH! During the firefight, Stalker swoops down to rescue Dr. Burkhart, but...



While the assault team is stalled by heavy resistance, Scarlett and Snake Eyes attempt to locate Dr. Burkhart, only to find Cobra Commander waiting for them. After forcing them to drop their weapons, he lowers a 12 inch thick steel door, cutting off any hope of reinforcement.



Burkhart knows that the timer is actually for explosives intended to destroy the entire fort. She struggles with Cobra Commander, earning a bullet for her trouble.



As the Joes tend to Burkhart, Cobra Commander and the Baroness escape through a trap door to a hidden passage. With no time to chase after them, everyone piles into the escape helicopter that Cobra Commander had intended to use himself.



That's right, Dr. Burkhart, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. JOE!!!

The issue closes on Cobra Commander and the Baroness making their escape in the single plane left at the airfield. Cobra Commander remarks that he must consider this operation a defeat, but they will rest and regroup at their true headquarters...

NEXT ISSUE: When Quinn the Eskimo gets here...

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Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



gently caress yes!

Here's one of the best intros of Cobra Commander ever:



Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006



gently caress yes

MazelTovCocktail
Jun 23, 2012

Gritty's gonna cut you.


Cyrano4747 posted:

gently caress yes



Cyrano4747 posted:

gently caress yes



Cyrano4747 posted:

gently caress yes


Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003

Enter the woods, find a friend!




Ignoarints
Nov 26, 2010


I've been trying for the last 20 minutes to find the robot chicken clip where cobra goes up against the US Army I think. It's not the one where GI Joe is in charge of the army, its another one

But I cant find it!

Atticus_1354
Dec 9, 2006

Don't you go near that dog, you understand? Don't go near him, he's just as dangerous dead as alive.


Ignoarints posted:

It's not the one where GI Joe is in charge of the army, its another one


This has seal team six at the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-VGyp8PJIk

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


One of the things Larry Hama did to aid himself in turning action figures into well-developed characters was to write down notes about the character's personality and special training, so that he could refer to these as he wrote. He usually kept these notes on index cards strewn about his work area. When a Hasbro executive who was visiting Marvel to observe their work saw the cards, he thought it was a great idea and asked for copies. These turned into the "File Cards" that were included on the card packaging of all G.I. Joe action figures. Below, I've copied the text for the characters we've met so far.

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER
Code Name: Breaker
File Name: Kibbey, Alvin R.
SN: RA757793518
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Primary Specialty: Infantry

Breaker is familiar with all NATO and Warsaw Pact communication gear as well as most world export devices. Specialized Education: Signal School; Covert Electronics; Project Gamma. Qualified Expert: M-16; M-1011A1; MAC-10 (Ingram). (CLASSIFIED: Speaks Seven Languages).

"He's efficient and self-assured and has an uncanny ability to turn adverse situations to his favor."

LASER RIFLE TROOPER
Code Name: Flash
File Name: Gambello, Anthony S.
SN: RA607432985
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: Lodi, California
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: Electronics CBR

Flash is highly skilled in many aspects of electronic technology and is capable of equipment repair in the field. Specialized Education: Electronics School; Chemical School; Covert Electronics. Qualified Expert: M-16; M-1911A1; XMLR-1A (Shoulder-Fired Laser Rifle).

"Flash is methodical and persistent. Has an innate and unshakable faith in the order of the universe. He's working on his Master's degree in electronic engineering (nights)."

INFANTRY TROOPER
Code Name: Grunt
File Name: Graves, Robert W.
SN: RA52779623
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: Columbus, Ohio
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: Small Arms Armorer, Artillery Coordinator

Familiar with all NATO and Warsaw Pact small arms as well as domestic civilian arms. Graduated: Advanced Infantry Training. Finished in top ten of his class. Qualified Expert: M-14; M-16; M-1911A1 (Auto-Pistol).

"Grunt is a highly motivated, systematic individual. He's a stand-up guy who doesn't blow his cool in a fire-fight."

MACHINE GUNNER
Code Name: Rock 'n Roll
File Name: McConnel, Craig S.
SN: RA989091452
Grade: E-5
Birthplace: Malibu, California
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: PT Instructor

Rock 'n Roll was a surfer in Malibu prior to enlistment. He was also a weight lifter and played bass guitar in local rock bands. Is familiar with all NATO and Warsaw Pact light and heavy machine guns. Graduated: Advanced Infantry Training (Top of Class). Specialized Education: Covert Ops School.

"Rock 'n Roll is cunning but naive; forceful but shy. Possesses a strong sense of loyalty to his teammates and is sincerely concerned about their well being. A man of honor and integrity who can be counted on to hold the line."

COUNTER INTELLIGENCE
Code Name: Scarlett
File Name: O'Hara, Shana M.
Grade: E-5
Birthplace: Atlanta, Georgia
Primary Specialty: Intelligence
Secondary Specialty: Classified

Scarlett's father and three brothers were martial arts instructors. She began her training at age 9 and was awarded her first black belt at age 15. Graudated: Advanced Infantry Training and Ranger School. Special Ed.: Covert Ops School; Marine Sniper School; Special Air Service School; Marine Tae Kwan Do Symposium; Qualified Expert: M-14; M-16; M-1911A1; M-79; M-3A1; M-700 (Remington Sniper Rifle); Mac-10; XK-1 Power Crossbow; Throwing Stars; Garotte; Ka-Bar.

"Scarlett is confident and resilient...it's remarkable that a person so deadly can still retain a sense of humor."

MORTAR SOLDIER
Code Name: Short-Fuze
File Name: Freistadt, Eric W.
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois
Primary Specialty: Artillery
Secondary Specialty: Infantry Engineer

Short-fuze comes from military family (Father and Grandfather both career Top Sergeants). Enjoys abstract mathematics and can plot artillery azimuths and tribulations in his head. Specialized Education: Artillery School; Engineer School; Advanced Infantry Training. Qualified Expert: M-14; M-16; M-1911A1; M-79 (Grenade Launcher); M-2 (60mm Light Mortar); M-1 (81mm Medium Mortar).

"Short-Fuze is logical and sensitive. Has a tendency to blow his stack---hence the nick-name...Short-Fuze."

COMMANDO
Code Name: Snake Eyes
File Name: (CLASSIFIED)
Grade: E-5
Birthplace: (CLASSIFIED)
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: Hand-to-Hand Combat Instructor

Snake Eyes is proficient in 12 different unarmed fighting systems (Karate, Kung-Fu, Jujitsu) and is highly skilled in the use of edged weapons. Has received extensive training in mountaineering, underwater demolitions, jungle, desert and arctic survival, and some form of holistic medicine. Qualified Expert: All NATO and Warsaw pact small arms.

"The man is a total mystery, but he's real good at his job, heck, he's the best."

RANGER
Code Name: Stalker
File Name: Wilkinson, Lonzo R.
Grade: E-5
Birthplace: Detroit, Michigan
Primary Specialty: Infantry
Secondary Specialty: Medic, Interpreter

Stalker was warlord of a large urban street gang prior to enlistment. Fluent in Spanish, Arabic, French and Swahili. Graduated top of class-Basic Combat Training. Advanced Infantry Training (Top of Class). Special Training: U.S. Army Language School; Intelligence School. Qualified Expert: M-14; M-16; M-1911A1 (Auto-Pistol); M-3A1 Grease Gun; M-32 "Pulverizer" Sub-Machine Gun.

"Functions well under high stress situations. Intelligent. Perceptive. Moves like some sort of jungle cat---silent---fast...strong."

BAZOOKA SOLDIER
Code Name: Zap
File Name: Melendez, Rafael J.
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: New York City
Primary Specialty: Engineer
Secondary Specialty: Infantry Artillery

Zap is the team specialist in armor-piercing and anti-tank weapons but also functions as demolitions man. Specialized Education: Engineer School; Ordinance School; Advanced Infantry Training. Qualified Expert: M-14; M-16; M-1911A1; M-79(Grenade Launcher); M-72(LAW Rocket); XM-71A(TOW Missile); XM-47(Dragon Missile).

"Zap is the fun loving type...he's cool under fire. The stuff he works on could blow up at anytime."

VAMP DRIVER
Code Name: Clutch
File Name: Steinberg, Lance J.
SN: RA757340802
Grade: E-4
Birthplace: Asbury Park, NJ
Primary Specialty: Transportation
Secondary Specialty: Infantry

Clutch was a mechanic at Manny's Mean Machines and was heavily involved in racing street machines prior to enlistment. Graduated: Advanced Infantry Training; Covert Ops School; Executive Bodyguard School; Ranger School. Qualified expert: M-14; M-16; M-1911A1; M-3A1; M-79; M-60

"He greases his hair with motor oil, rarely shaves, and chews on the same toothpick for months. Clutch still calls women 'chicks.'"

LASER ARTILLERY SOLDIER
Code Name: Grand Slam
File Name: Barney, James J.
SN: RA379541044
Grade: E-5
Birthplace: Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin
Primary Specialty: Artillery
Secondary Specialty: Electronics Engineer

Grand Slam received initial training in conventional artillery and served with a 155mm battery. Graduated: Special Weapons School (Top of Class). Specialized Education: Artillery School; Advanced Tech School, Qualified Expert: M-16; M-1911A1; "HAL" Heavy Artillery Laser.

"He's soft-spoken and calm---just a bit shy. Intelligent. Loves to read escapist fantasy (science fiction and comic books)."

MISSILE COMMANDER
Code Name: Hawk
File Name: Abernathy, Clayton M.
SN: RA212754036
Grade: O-6
Birthplace: Denver, Colorado
Primary Specialty: Artillery
Secondary Specialty: Radar

Hawk comes from a well established (real loaded) family. He's a West Point graduate, top of class and has seen action in a number of trouble spots. Graduated: Advanced Infanty Training; Covert Ops School. Served on Cadre, North Atlantic Training; Covert Ops School. Served on Cadre, North Atlantic Range Command and USA ENG COM EVR Missile and Radar Training; (classified). Qualified Expert: M-16; M-1911A1 auto-pistol.

"He is keenly intelligent and perceptive and quite capable of totally selfless acts in support of his team-mates. An excellent leader!"

TANK COMMANDER
Code Name: Steeler
File Name: Pulaski, Ralph W.
SN: RA035366098
Grade: O-1
Birthplace: Pittsburgh, PA
Primary Specialty: Armour
Secondary Specialty: Artillery, Transportation

Steeler comes from a blue collar middle-class background. He put himself through college on an ROTC scholarship and work as a heavy equipment operator. Familiar and proficient with all NATO and Warsaw Pact AFV's. Graduated Armor School, top of class. Special Training: Cadre-XAFV Project; Artillery School; AFV Desert Exercise; Covert Ops School. Qualified Expert: M-16; M-1911A1; MAX-10; Uzi.

"Young, reckless, often clashes with authority (superior officers), but he's one tough soldier!"

and of course...

COBRA COMMANDER
Code Name: Enemy Leader
File Name: (CLASSIFIED)
Grade: Commander-in-Chief
Birthplace: (CLASSIFIED)
Primary Specialty: Intelligence
Secondary Specialty: Ordinance (Experimental Weaponry)

Absolute power! Total control of the world...its people, wealth, and resources---that's the objective of COBRA Commander. This fanatical leader rules with an iron fist. He demands total loyalty and allegiance. His main battle plan, for world control, relies on revolution and chaos. He personally led uprisings in the Middle East, Southeast Asia and other trouble spots. Responsible for kidnapping scientists, businessmen, and military leaders, then forcing them to reveal their top level secrets.

"COBRA Commander is hatred and evil personified. Corrupt. A man without scruples. Probably the most dangerous man alive!"

COBRA INTELLIGENCE OFFICER
Code Name: Baroness
Birthplace: Classified
Primary Specialty: Intelligence
Secondary Specialty: Fixed Wing Pilot

The spoiled offspring of wealthy European aristocrats, the Baroness graduated from student radicalism into international terrorism and finally into the ranks of COBRA. She was severely burned during a COBRA night attack operation and has had extensive plastic surgery. Rumor has it that she is the only one who knows Destro's secret identity. Qualified expert: M-16; AK-47; RPG7; Uzi; H.I.S.S. tank operator.

"Her principal weakness is in the division of her loyalty between COBRA Commander and Destro. Her chief strength would seem to lie in her ability to play them against each other."


Strangely enough, despite appearing in the comic from the start and being quite popular, Baroness didn't get an action figure until two years later when the third series of figures was launched.

Nipponophile fucked around with this message at 00:56 on Jan 25, 2014

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



Hama created a number of characters just for the comic: Storm Shadow, Dr. Venom, Kwinn, the Oktober Guard, and a bunch of others.

A few of them ended up as action figures.

djdanno13
Apr 20, 2004

Killing Nazi Zombies since June 14 1775



Holy poo poo yes, I saw this mentioned in the other thread and I'm so happy you put in the time on this.

Lol, just saw that gi joe is under the chaplain assistant school.

djdanno13 fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Jan 25, 2014

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


It's only fitting that I tackle issue #2 on a day where my city saw a light dusting of snow for the first time in over five years.





Generals Flagg and Austin discuss the situation at the Pentagon. The closest settlement is a Russian research station a hundred miles away. Did the Russians do this? If so, why would they stage such an overt attack on Americans? More intel is needed, so the decision is made to call in the G.I. Joe team, many of whom are currently enjoying leave after their last assignment.







En route to their drop point, Gen. Flagg briefs the Joes. The primary mission is recon, to determine what the Russians are up to. If contact is initiated, withdraw and contact command for further instructions. After airdropping in, the team takes up position outside the Russian station.



After several hours of fruitless observation, a stranger appears. Puzzling, since the nearest settlement other than the American research station is over a thousand miles away.



The Eskimo is quickly in and out of the station, which brings up further questions.



The Joe team investigates and is greeted with a grim surprise.



Breaker notes that the key part of the equipment, the frequency modulator, is gone, no doubt taken by the Eskimo. There's no time for further thought as Snake Eyes spots a bundle of C4 rigged to blow. The Joes barely make it out as the station erupts behind them. After regrouping, Stalker makes the decision to follow and attempt to recover the modulator in an effort to get to the bottom of things. As they race across the snow, they receive a fax from HQ. Gen. Flagg has located a dossier based on pictures Stalker took and transmitted earlier.



After miles of travel, the Joes catch up with Kwinn, who has made camp in the shelter of the wrecked plane which he arrived on.



A master of multitasking, Kwinn strips the Joes of their equipment as he delivers exposition.



Stalker wonders why Kwinn is telling them all this, when his records indicate that he never divulges information about his employers. Kwinn's answer is simple. Without their weapons and equipment, they will not live to tell anyone. Kwinn takes off for his rendezvous, unaware that good old American ingenuity is already working on a solution to the problem.



Snake Eyes insists on bringing along the C4, which Kwinn left behind after removing the detonator caps. The ice boat makes good time and the Joes cut ahead of Kwinn to reach a natural spot for an ambush.



The explosives drop the bridge on top of Kwinn's sled, but...



As Kwinn is distracted by Scarlett, Snake Eyes leaps for the sled with their weapons. He still has spare ammo! But Kwinn remains one step ahead.



With the Joes at gunpoint, Kwinn explains that he regrets taking this mission from the Russians. After all, they are attempting to utilize fear and a weapon and "Fear is the greatest killer of all! Greater than snow or ice!" He feels it would be best to turn the modulator over to the Joes, but he is honor-bound to obey the obligations of his contract to the letter. As he drives his sled off, Kwinn wonders if there might be another way.





Thus ends issue 2, but don't worry. It won't be the last we'll see of Kwinn!

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.


It's pretty amazing how "adult" all of this is for a comic book based on toys. I remember reading these in almost real-time (I was 7 when they started so probably started reading them when I was more like 9, but had all the issues as a kid), and wondering what was wrong with other comic books, because their plots were so goofy.

It's definitely not all gold like issue #2 (as we will very soon see), but overall the plots were pretty solid and start to have some long arcs soon.

Thanks for starting this thread. I hope we can keep it up for a while. I'm guessing most of us in here who are over 30 or so grew up with a shitload of GI Joe toys. And I'm also willing to bet most of them met their end just like mine: by firecracker and pellet gun.

Skreemer
Jan 28, 2006
I like blue.

I remember buying the reprints of the originals as "Tales of G.I. Joe". I got into these when i was a kid and I will say the earlier comics were a bit grittier than the ones I had in my day. Though about the time they started "unmasking" everyone things were in rather long arcs and were getting serious in some ways. I got the "MOBAT" tank when I was 7 or 8 and it worked as long as you threw fresh batteries in it until my mom threw it out when I was moving. Never did like Zandar and the rippers or Tomax/Xamot and while Dr. Mindbender played some entertaining roles, a musclebound bald guy with stache dressed in purple pants and ankle boots... yah.

DeesGrandpa
Oct 21, 2009



I don't think I'll ever understand the 80s.

M.Ciaster
Feb 28, 2013



So that's what I get for growing up in Eastern Europe - I never got to experience this fuckin' awesome thing, believe it or not

Definitely gonna be followin' this thread

DeesGrandpa posted:

I don't think I'll ever understand the 80s.

Coke. Loads of coke.

DeusExMachinima
Sep 2, 2012

This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!

Put this loser on ignore immediately!



But this is the TFR-est of all the GI Joe sketches. In every way possible. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW3dg9VURMU

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



M.Ciaster posted:


Coke. Loads of coke.

Plus, you know, the inevitable nuclear apocalypse did dominate a large part of the decade.

ShitheadDeluxe
May 14, 2007


The Russians invaded that school just to get Charlie Sheen out of it.

Ignoarints
Nov 26, 2010



Thats the only one I can find but it's not that. It's where the GI joe's cant make it so they send in the army and they think its going to be a piece of cake but they started killing them all. All the soldiers were in green like some korean war crap.

Im so annoyed I cant find this lol.

sky shark
Jun 9, 2004

CHILD RAPE IS FINE WHEN I LIKE THE RAPIST

The comic was brutal back in the day. I remember a scene where a couple joes got captured and two cobra dudes were chilling, talking about killing them by shooting them to pieces starting with the legs. And then the dude with the dune buggy used his remote control to have the dune buggy machineguns light them up.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



sky shark posted:

The comic was brutal back in the day. I remember a scene where a couple joes got captured and two cobra dudes were chilling, talking about killing them by shooting them to pieces starting with the legs. And then the dude with the dune buggy used his remote control to have the dune buggy machineguns light them up.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



Same issue has one of my favorite lines in the series "waddya wanna do, give the Shah back?"



Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



Gunsperg:

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Smiling Jack posted:

*stuff that comes up in about three issues*

Could you not wait? Or perhaps you'd like to take over?

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


Don't forget when a SAW Viper waxes like 8 Joes for a bonus from the bopsy twins, Tomax and Xamot. in like a hundred issues.

RIP Quick Kick and Doc

bulletsponge13 fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Jan 26, 2014

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

Proč bychom se netěšili když nám Pán Bůh zdraví dá?


When did they start this comic in relation to the cartoon? Cobra Commander has his hood rather than his mirrored mask helmet thing.

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.


Scratch Monkey posted:

When did they start this comic in relation to the cartoon? Cobra Commander has his hood rather than his mirrored mask helmet thing.

The comic started in 1982. The show was 85-86. And cobra commander wore the hood and the helmet interchangeably in the comic, and I think to a lesser degree on the show.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



Nipponophile posted:

Could you not wait? Or perhaps you'd like to take over?

There's 155 issues not counting Special Missions and various spin offs. There's plenty to go around.

Smiling Jack fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Jan 26, 2014

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

Proč bychom se netěšili když nám Pán Bůh zdraví dá?


stealie72 posted:

The comic started in 1982. The show was 85-86. And cobra commander wore the hood and the helmet interchangeably in the comic, and I think to a lesser degree on the show.

I remember him always wearing the mask on the show until some point there was a BIG DEAL EVENT where he switched to the hood. I may have even sent away cereal box tops to get the new masked version of the figure. I *think* this was right around the time they introduced Serpentor. I'm too lazy to look it up so someone more knowledgable correct me: wasn't the whole idea that one of CC's henchmen (Destro or the Tomax and Xamot I think) got sick of CC's incompetence so they genetically engineered Serpentor to take over COBRA? In the process CC turned into a giant snake or something. Eventually Serpentor is defeated and somehow CC comes back but now he was wearing a hood rather than his mask.

How close am I?

Mad Dragon
Feb 29, 2004



Cobra Commander became a snake during the movie.

MazelTovCocktail
Jun 23, 2012

Gritty's gonna cut you.


Mad Dragon posted:

Cobra Commander became a snake during the movie.

Which weirded the ever loving poo poo out of me as a kid.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


Scratch Monkey posted:

I remember him always wearing the mask on the show until some point there was a BIG DEAL EVENT where he switched to the hood. I may have even sent away cereal box tops to get the new masked version of the figure. I *think* this was right around the time they introduced Serpentor. I'm too lazy to look it up so someone more knowledgable correct me: wasn't the whole idea that one of CC's henchmen (Destro or the Tomax and Xamot I think) got sick of CC's incompetence so they genetically engineered Serpentor to take over COBRA? In the process CC turned into a giant snake or something. Eventually Serpentor is defeated and somehow CC comes back but now he was wearing a hood rather than his mask.

How close am I?

Serpentor was created with the permission of Cobra Commander. He was meant to be the worlds greatest general, being cloned from the DNA of some of the most well known Generals and Leaders, including Vlad Tepes.
Fun Fact- Larry Hama said when he wrote "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!" it was his attempt to add a little history and education to the kid's show.
He also lobbied to make the Dreadnoks, the Cobra Affiliated Outlaw MC, bikers. Hasbro wanted to make them Ewoks- well, Ewok, like creatures.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Smiling Jack posted:

There's 155 issues not counting Special Missions and various spin offs. There's plenty to go around.

Yes, and I plan to cover them all in time. People don't go into the other Let's Read threads and post "Hey, check out this awesome thing that happens in another few chapters!" All I'm asking for is the same restraint.

Mishaco
May 4, 2005



$3 at wal-mart....that's what a GI Joe cost in the early to late '80s.

I worked at my parents' newspaper a couple days a week, to get $5 and spend $3 of that on one nearly every week for years.

By the end, i had a large wooden chest of figures.

I also had that big space shuttle and launch facility set thingy.
I never got the USS Flag though!

Some of my figures did meet the burning and/or boiling fate, but i still do have tons of them in the attic along with my original Star Wars figures.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


This next issue probably would have made a good episode of the cartoon series. With our expectations thus lowered, let's read issue 3!





As the clean up proceeds, Gen. Flagg orders the Joes to take the robot back to the Pit for holding until the experts from Aberdeen can pick over it. Cobra Commander seems oddly pleased with this turn of events.



The Joes haul the robot down to the lowest level of the Pit as Steeler expounds on its construction. The Pit is built with living quarters, computers, and life support systems on the bottom two levels, all of which can be sealed by automatic blast doors, ensuring maximum personnel survival in the event of a nuclear strike.



Scans show no active mechanical or electronic devices and no chemical explosives. With the robot secured, normal activity resumes. Scarlett and Hawk put in an appearance at the Chaplains' Assistant School social tea, being held upstairs in the Motor Pool. Stalker, Flash, and Snake Eyes head to the armory to secure everyone's weapons; and Steeler, Breaker, and Clutch whip up some breakfast in the canteen.

While Hawk does his best to maintain cover...



the rest of the Joes set about their tasks.



Meanwhile, at Cobra.



Uh oh, did no one think to scan for chemical timers? This oversight may prove deadly, as the robot's disembodied hand proceeds to hack the Joe security mainframe to locate occupied rooms and seal them off with the automatic blast doors. With the Joe team out of the way, the robot hand begins to reactivate and reassemble the rest of the robot.



However, Steeler's got a bad feeling about this. It's no time to sit and wait.



In the armory, Flash has a plan of his own. Any explosives strong enough to blow the door would kill them with the blast. His laser rifle on high power would burn through easily, but would probably burn up all oxygen in the room before it cuts through. The answer is to focus on the lock with a low power laser and hope it burns through before the air is gone.

The Joes who are already loose enter the research lab to find...



With no weapons, the Joes are forced to improvise. Clutch stops by a bathroom and dumps several bottles of PX aftershave in a bucket.



At Cobra HQ, Cobra Commander explains that their robot is programmed to fight its way out of the Joes' radio-shielded HQ, then transmit its position which will be triangulated by Cobra's helicopter-borne directional scanners.

Breaker, Steeler, and Clutch try to remain ahead of the flaming robot but suddenly lose sight of it. Where could a ten foot tall fiery robot possibly hide?





Question answered. The Joes make a run for it and take the elevator to the garage area, only one level below the surface. The robot climbs up the elevator shaft after them, deftly dodging an artillery piece dropped at his head. With little time left, Clutch comes up with a plan. They scrounge some paint and a sheet of aluminum.



The crash echoes through the motor pool, as Hawk assures the chaplains that it "must have been some sort of acoustical phenomenon."

Unaware of their robot's fate, Cobra's assault squadron is nearing bingo fuel.



Flash's laser finally cuts through the armory door and his group meets up with the others as they examine the robot's wreckage. Unfortunately for the Joes, Cobra's robot engineers saw The Thing recently...



A quick shot from Flash drops the head, but it then splits open to release a dozen tiny "bugs", walking transmitters which break for the surface. As Breaker struggles to get the internal sensors back online, the rest of the crew tracks and swats the bugs as best they can. Eleven are accounted for, but Breaker fixes the sensors just in time to spot the final bug exiting the top of a ventilation shaft on the surface!





Out of fuel, with no signal to track, Cobra is forced to abandon their assault. As smashed bug parts rain down to the bottom of the Pit, the Joes let out a hearty cheer.




For those tuning in for the gritty military action I promised, don't worry. Next issue sees a return to form with a Montana survivalist militia and nuclear terrorism!

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


Issue 3 is one of my favorites just because it sets the tone for the insanity that comes along in the series.
And not sure if I already said this, but Larry Hama still writes it.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


I don't know exactly what change was made to imgur between now and the last post I made, but I'm pretty sure that it's retarded and I hate it. Issue 4!







The above turns out to be film shot by FBI informants. As the lights go up on the Joe briefing room, we learn that the Pentagon has found ties between Commander Wingfield's militia and Cobra. The Joes are assigned the task of infiltrating the organization to determine just how deep these ties go.



Hawk and Grunt arrive with a fresh busload of recruits and note that some of the others have brought their families with them. Wingfield apparently encourages this, as it gives him an additional hold on the men.



The inside team goes through the motions of basic training, while trying not to look too good at it. As they do PT, Hawk makes a plan to sneak a look in the armory that night. Meanwhile, Snake Eyes makes plans of his own.





Hawk sees that Snake Eyes has the HQ meeting covered, so he and Grunt proceed to the armory as Snake Eyes slips into the rafters to eavesdrop. Wingfield states that they can no longer remain on the defensive, but must now take the offensive! His officers express their misgivings, but Wingfield has a plan.



Basically the same thing the Lectroids were threatening in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. The second nuke is buried beneath the camp. In the event that their strike on the Soviets fails, they can set it off and the American military will assume a Soviet first strike and thus retaliate, giving Wingfield posthumous revenge on the government when the Soviets launch their own response. Meanwhile, in the armory...



Hawk and Grunt manage to trip a silent alarm, alerting Wingfield's men who eventually overpower them by sheer weight of numbers. Wingfield takes this as a sign to set his plan in action and orders his right hand man Carruthers to get the B-29 prepped for launch. Snake Eyes uses the distraction to break into the radio shack and call for reinforcements. The prisoners are set to be executed at dawn, but...



As the teams regroup, the B-29 roars into the air. Hawk rushes to the airfield to try to intercept with one of the F-86s. Snake Eyes heads back to see what Wingfield is up to as Grunt hangs back to provide covering fire.



Hawk gets a Sabre in the air, but as luck would have it, he grabbed the one that was down for radio repairs.



He quickly catches up to the slower bomber. Hawk realizes that the B-29 is a sitting duck against him, but can't even call for Carruthers to surrender with no radio. His best option is to target the engines and force Carruthers to bail out.



Unable to contact his bomber, Wingfield sets his contingency plan into motion and activates the timer on the nuke beneath the camp. Though they don't know the details of the plan, the dependent families become agitated and one mother takes her son and prepares to leave.





Wingfield's wife Shary reveals the location of the nuke, but Wingfield had the only disarm code. With only minutes to spare, Zap gets to work.



Grunt struggles to keep the detonator aloft as Zap torches through the supporting spokes.



Stalker is so impressed with this feat of strength that he spontaneously turns white. Later, Hawk assures the Joes that experts determined the shielding on the bomb to be intact, so there should be no worry of radiation poisoning.



Saving the world with the Joes is certainly a thankless job, but not a tankless job, as we will see next issue.

So, another three or four issues of standalone stories, then the first long arc kicks off. Right around then, Hasbro launched their second wave of G.I. Joe figures and vehicles, so we'll also meet some new faces. I'll be shooting for around two or three issues per week, barring unforeseen circumstances.

Now that I've got a few issues under my belt, I'd like to get some feedback. What do you guys think so far, both of the comic and my presentation of it? I'm making a deliberate choice not to editorialize too much and to let the work speak for itself, but would you guys want more commentary/interjections? How does the flow of each story come across? Are my summaries sufficiently bridging the panels that I post, or am I leaving too much unsaid? I think I'm posting something that I would be interested in reading, but I don't know how well that comes across to other folks.

e: And no, I don't know why everyone calls Stalker "Ranger" that whole issue.

The Eyes Have It
Feb 9, 2008

Third Eye Sees All
...snookums

Personally I like the mix you're using of summary + scans.

infrared35
Jan 12, 2005

border patrol qt


Plaster Town Cop

I'm digging it. But I still don't get why Stalker, the former urban gang member, is the one who's all big on camping out in the woods.

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Insane Totoro
Dec 5, 2005

Take cover!!!
That Totoro has an AR-15!


I like your style. It has kept my lunch hour fun. Please keep on doing more issues. I've read them all before but it's been a while and I like your writing style

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