Rashaverak posted:

Happy Valentine's Day to all my forums friends,
to those who like me and to those I must make amends,
to those who truly care, and to those who just pretend,
I dreamed up this prose, which I have just penned.

Some fat dorky white midget tired of being called names,
bought himself a bow and decided to play a fun game.
"They think they'll get away with the name-calling and jokes,
but once I'm done they'll have learned to fear the little folks."

Murder and mayhem might have been the original plan,
but once he found that strange arrow, there was no stopping the man.
He bought all he could and cackled with glee,
still unaware that this would be no ordinary killing spree.

From his vantage point high in the clouds
he could see all of humanity, a great teeming crowd.
Nocking his arrow, he found a target downrange.
A happy young couple, though that would soon change!

Loosing his arrow, it flew straight and true.
Though he'd aimed center mass, he'd hit the heart too!
He watched through the scope as the man fell to his knees.
He should feel happy, but yet, there was a growing unease...

No shouts and no screams rose from below.
He looked at his target, but the blood did not flow!
Suddenly he heard cheering, clapping, applause...?
Frantically looking, he could not find the cause!

Cupid looked on in horror as the man seemingly rose from the dead,
placed a ring on her finger and shouted "We are to be wed!"
All of his training in archery and Counterstrike couldn't have prepared him for this emotion.
In his haste, he'd misread the arrow's box - it read not poison, but potion!

So if you dare venture outside, take care, duck and cover.
Lest you find yourself suddenly stricken with a new lover!

We Texans, however, have nothing to fear.
That chubby weird dude won't come anywhere near.
We don't take kindly to someone shooting others for fun
And down here in Texas, we've all got a gun.