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Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Concerning spoilers: a really fun part of the Hell's Kitchen experience is openly discussing the spoilers and just how misleading they are. In fact this year it's part of the annual HK contest. If that bothers you, this is not the right thread for you so GET OUT



Spring is coming, which can only mean one thing: a new barrage of Gordon Ramsay shows to keep us entertained until Fall! What shows are coming up, and when?

Kitchen Nightmare returns April 11 with a revisit of Amy's Baking Company!
Hell's Kitchen has already returned!
Masterchef returns June 18, 2014 a month earlier in May!
Hotel Hell returns July 2014
America's Best Restaurant premieres Summer 2014
Untitled Spain Project premieres Fall 2014
(I'll update premiere dates as they are confirmed by Fox)

Why should I watch any of this? It's just dumb reality tv
Well if you have been living under a rock and never watched the Kitchen Nightmare episode at Amy's Baking Company, drop everything and watch it immediately. It's must watch television and transcends its medium. Just give yourself 5 minutes. You'll be done and asking for more before you even know it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uPOGxUtZvk

Welcome to the Gordon Ramsay Experience! If you had never experienced the joy that are Gordon Ramsay's show before, do yourself a favor and please do not jump into the latest season of Hell's Kitchen/Kitchen Nightmare US. Rather, please find a way to watch all five seasons of 'Kitchen Nightmare UK', "Gordon's Great Escape" as well as the 'F-Word' if you are actually interested in cooking. If what you want are trainwrecks, then by all mean begin with Hell's Kitchen Season 2 or Kitchen Nightmare US from the very first episode.

Although FOX turned his image from extremely talented chef who cares and occasionally yells at you for being an idiot into the Screaming Scottish Devil, this is not so. He is actually a very nice man who genuinely cares and tries to make people as good as they can (while screaming a lot, because he cares)If you don't believe me, specifically seek "Momma Cherri's Soul Food Shack" from the KN UK 4th season, as well as "The Fenwick Arms". It's as good as it gets! Just head on over to the second post for convenient links to start binge-watching and join the rest of us



Kitchen Nightmares (Season 7)
Last year, the most incredible episode of any Ramsay's show hit the airwaves and made national news because of just how outrageous it was. I'm of course talking about Chappy's pants Amy's Baking Company. It was the closest we've ever seen a genuine BPD meltdown on National Television that wasn't from Nancy Grace. Obviously, in the premiere Ramsay returns to the restaurant to try and milk it even more. Thanks to recent interviews, we have found out that Sammy and Amy are just as crazy and determined to fight online bullies and even claim to have been tracking them online and confronting them.

We're gonna be in for a real treat this Friday

Schedule
1. "Return to Amy's Baking Company" (Scottsdale, Arizona) - February 28, 2014 pulled for the moment
2. "Old Neighborhood"(Arvada, Colorado) - March 7, 2014
(will update as Fox confirms future dates and restaurants)



Hell's Kitchen - Season 12
In terms of changes, the only major news so far is that fan favorite Heather is back permanently as a sous-chef Season 12 and on. Jean-Philippe will be back on post and hopefully not as underutilized as he was last year.



The Red Team:

Beth Taylor
Age: 43
Hometown: Independence, LA
Occupation: Line Cook
Signature Dish: Pecan Crusted Catfish with Wilted Spinach and Smoked Gouda Grits


Bev Lazo-Gonzalez
Age: 42
Hometown: Whittier, CA
Occupation: Food Truck Chef
Signature Dish: Southeast Asian-Style Fish Tacos


Jessica Vogel
Age: 28
Hometown: Sparta, NJ
Occupation: Line Cook
Signature Dish: Rosemary Crusted Venison Loin with Cranberry Ancho Chili Gastrique over Goat Cheese Polenta and Roasted Brussels Sprouts


Joy Parham-Thomas
Age: 25
Hometown: Philadelphia, PA
Occupation: Kitchen Supervisor
Signature Dish: Chilled Corn Soup


Kashia Zollicoffer
Age: 23
Hometown: Carthage, MS
Occupation: Line Cook
Signature Dish: New York Strip and Blue Cheese Crab Butter with Roasted Asparagus


Melanie Finch
Age: 23
Hometown: Woodland Hills, CA
Occupation: Line Cook
Signature Dish: Pan-Seared Scallops with Mashed Lentils, Roasted Pear and Crispy Raspberry Gastrique


Nicole Rutz
Age: 33
Hometown: Morganville, NJ
Occupation: Baker
Signature Dish: Halibut Filet with Squash and Tomatoes in an Herb Butter Sauce


Rochelle Bergman
Age: 27
Hometown: Riverside, CA
Occupation: Caterer
Signature Dish: Mushroom Chicken with Asparagus


Sandra Flores
Age: 36
Hometown: Queens, NY
Occupation: Sous Chef
Signature Dish: Tender Cod Filet with Macadamia Nut Fig Butter and Fire-Roasted Corn with Applewood Bacon


Simone Hammond
Age: 43
Hometown: Henderson, NV
Occupation: Buffet Cook
Signature Dish: Peach and Crab Apple Chutney Pork Chop, Cornbread Dressing with Pecans and Haricot Verts with Fig and Cranberries in a White Wine Butter Sauce




The Blue Team

Anton Testino
Age: 39
Hometown: Butler, NJ
Occupation: Head Chef
Signature Dish: Pork with Crabmeat Crust


Chris Eversole
Age: 27
Hometown: Las Vegas, NV
Occupation: Line Cook
Signature Dish: Poule Rôtie


Guarav Navin
Age: 34
Hometown: East Stroudsburg, PA
Occupation: Executive Chef
Signature Dish: Afreen Tuna Met Komyn Parfume Pulao


Jason Zepaltas
Age: 31
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Occupation: Sous Chef
Signature Dish: Seared, then Braised Wild Salmon with Vegetables


Mike Aresta
Age: 38
Hometown: Keyport, NJ
Occupation: Chef Instructor
Signature Dish: Herb-Fried Tortellini with Romesco


Michael DeMarco
Age: 29
Hometown: Scranton, PA
Occupation: Line Cook
Signature Dish: Ricotta Gnocchi with Roasted Tomato Crème and Sausage


Michael Gabriel
Age: 25
Hometown: Spring, TX
Occupation: Executive Chef
Signature Dish: Stuffed Chicken Breast with Asparagus and Diced Rosemary Yukon Potatoes


Ralph Johnson
Age: 28
Hometown: Boston, MA
Occupation: Chef De Partie
Signature Dish: New England Lobster Dinner


Richard Mancini
Age: 48
Hometown: Bloomingdale, IL
Occupation: Executive Chef
Signature Dish: Pan-Roasted Sea Bass with Roma Tomato and Basil Sauce over Sauteed Kale and Pancetta


Scott Commings
Age: 36
Hometown: Woodstock, IL
Occupation: Executive Chef
Signature Dish: Herb Roasted Rack of lamb with Parsnip Puree and Sherry Jus




Masterchef - Season 5
Names, bios and pictures of MC contestants will be added when they are revealed, as well as schedule of upcoming episodes


Hotel Hell - Season 2
The second season of Hotel Hell has been ready for a while, and we're just waiting on Fox to loving release it already. We need our fix of crazy and Ramsay butt shots already



Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at Mar 27, 2014 around 23:58

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Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Gordon Ramsay's Shows
New to the world of Gordon Ramsay? Itching for your next fix? Thankfully, you can now partake in almost everything he's been in, since most of it is on youtube! If you are new to the world of donkeys and want specifics on what you should start with, just ask in the thread. People will be more than happy to direct you, whether you're into actual cooking, the most amazing trainwrecks or the most incredible heartwarming stuff. Or cats. Meow. Meow meow meow.




The UK Series

Boiling Point (1998) - Documentary about a young Ramsay opening his first restaurant
Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05

Beyond Boiling Point (2000) - A follow-up about Ramsay's juggling of his chef career and new celebrity status
Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06

Hell's Kitchen UK* (2004) - Gordon teaches 10 celebrities how to cook
Ep. 01 through 07 Ep. 08-1 Ep. 08-2 Ep. 08-3 Ep. 08-4 Ep. 09-1 Ep. 09-2 Ep. 09-3 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15

Kitchen Nightmare UK (2004-2009) - Ramsay tries to salvage restaurants on the verge of bankruptcy
Season 1: Bonapartes The Glass House The Walnut Tree Moore Place
Season 2: La Lanterna D-Place Momma Cherri's Soul Food Shack La Riviera The Glass House (Revisited) The Walnut Tree Inn (Revisited) Moore Place (Revisited) Bonaparte's Restaurant (Revisited)
Season 3: Oscar's The Sandgate Hotel Clubway 41 La Gondola
Season 4: La Parra de Burriana The Fenwick Arms Rococo Morgan's La Riviera (Revisited) Momma Cherri's Soul Food Shack (Revisited)
Season 5: Ruby Tates Piccolo Teatro The Fenwick Arms (Revisited) La Parra de Burriana (Revisited) The Priory The Fish and Anchor Curry Lounge The Granary
Season 6: The Runaway Girl & The Dovecote Part 1 Part 2

The F-Word (2005-2009) - A food magazine and general cooking program
Season 1: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09
Season 2: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09
Season 3: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09
Season 4: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12
Season 5: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12

Gordon's Great Escape - Gordon travels the world, tries exotic cuisine, rides motorcycles
Season 1: India: Part 1 India: Part 2 India: Part 3
Season 2: Cambodia Vietnam Malaysia Thailand

Ramsay Behind Bars - Gordon teaches a bunch of prisoners how to cook, fashion a shiv out of zucchinis
Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04

Hotel GB - A celebrity cast helps unemployed youth get jobs in the industry, Ramsay at the helm
Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05

Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course - Ramsay teaches you to stop cooking like a donkey
Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15
Ep. 16 Ep. 17 Ep. 18 Ep. 19 Ep. 20

*Due to contractual obligations, Ramsay jumped ship after the first season, at which point he was replaced by Gary Rhodes & Jean-Christophe Novelli in the second season, and Marco Pierre White during season 3 and 4. There were also major changes in the format later on.



The US Series

Hell's Kitchen - A show about trainwrecks and donkeys trying to cut it in Ramsay's kitchen
Season 01: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10
Season 02: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10
Season 03: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11
Season 04: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15
Season 05: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15
Season 06: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15
Season 07: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15
Season 08: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15
Season 09: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15 Ep. 16
Season 10: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15 Ep. 16. Ep. 17 Ep. 18 Ep. 19 Ep. 20
Season 11: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15 Ep. 16 Ep. 17 Ep. 18 Ep. 19 Ep. 20 Ep. 21 Ep. 22
Season 12 will be updated as it airs (Premieres ???)

Kitchen Nightmare (2007 - now) Stupid people who want Ramsay's help but not to listen to him
Season 1: Peter's Dillon's/Purnima Mixing Bowl Seascape The Olde Stone Mill Sebastian's Finn McCool's Lela's Campania The Secret Garden Season 1 revisited
Season 2: Handlebar Giuseppi's Trobiano's The Black Pearl J Willy's Hannah & Mason's Jack's Waterfront Sabatiello's Fiesta Sunrise Sante La Brea Cafe 36
Season 3: Hot Potato Cafe Flamango's Bazzini Mojito Lido di Manhattan Beach Le Bistro Casa Roma Mama Rita's Anna Vincenzo's Fleming Sushi Ko
Season 4: Spanish Pavilion Classic American PJ's Steakhouse Grasshopper Also Davide Down City Tavolini Kingston Cafe La Frite Capri Zeke's Oceana
Season 5: Blackberry's Leone's Mike & Nellie's Luigi's D'Italia Burger Kitchen Part 1 Part 2 Greek at the Harbor Michon's El Greco Park's Edge Spin-a-Yarn Charlie's Cafe Hon Chiarella's Zocalp
Season 6: La Galleria 33 Part 1 Part 2 Mama Maria's Ms. Jean's Southern Cuisine Barefoot Bob's Olde Hitching Post Sam's Mediterranean Kabob Room Nino's Italian Restaurant Mill Street Bistro Part 1 Part 2 Yanni's Prohibition Grille Chappy's Amy's Crazy Baking Company
Season 7 will be updated as it airs (Premieres February 28, 2014)

Masterchef (2010 - now) - Gordon, along with two other judges, takes amateurs and brings them up to the next level
Season 1: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13
Season 2: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15 Ep. 16 Ep. 17 Ep. 18 Ep. 19 Ep. 20
Season 3:Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15 Ep. 16 Ep. 17 Ep. 18 Ep. 19 Ep. 20
Season 4: Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07 Ep. 08 Ep. 09 Ep. 10 Ep. 11 Ep. 12 Ep. 13 Ep. 14 Ep. 15 Ep. 16 Ep. 17 Ep. 18 Ep. 19 Ep. 20 Ep. 21 Ep. 22 Ep. 23 Ep. 24 Ep. 25
Season 5 will be updated as it airs (Premieres June 18, 2014)

Hotel Hell (2012 - now) - Kitchen Nightmares, but with hotels and frequent Gordon nudity
Season 1: Juniper Hill Part 1 Part 2 Cambridge Hotel The Keating Hotel River Rock Roosevelt Hotel
Season 2 will be updated as it airs (Premieres ???)

Masterchef Junior (2103 - now) - just
Season 1:Ep. 01 Ep. 02 Ep. 03 Ep. 04 Ep. 05 Ep. 06 Ep. 07
Season 2 will be updated as it airs (Premieres ???)




Misc.
Gordon Ramsay Christmas Cookalong Live: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Trouble at the Top: A New Menu
Christmas with Gordon: Part 1 Part 2
Gordon Makes it Easy
Secrets of Fast and Delicious Meals
Gordon Ramsay: Shark Bait
MasterChef Cookalong with Jessie Lysak

I will try to update this list as full episodes pop up on youtube




Old threads
New to Gordon's shows and want our reactions? Bored while waiting for a new episode/Masterchef/Hotel Hell/Kitchen Nightmares? Time for a rewatch with old comments!

Hell's Kitchen
Season 01 Season 02 Season 03 Part 2 Season 04 Season 05 Season 06 Season 07 Season 08 Season 09
Season 10 Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Season 11 Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterchef
Season 1 Season 2
Season 3 Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Season 4 Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

Kitchen Nightmares
Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Amy's Baking Company Trainwreck GBS thread

Hotel Hell
Season 1 Episode 1 2 3 4 5 6

Masterchef Junior
Season 1

Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2014 around 05:13

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014
Every year there is a contest in terms of guessing the number of times Ramsay will say certain things, or how many times certain things will happen. The prize has yet to be announced (as if you cared) but the contest is still alive! I'll update the prize at some point if someone steps up and offers something. As of right now, bragging rights.

Now, the rules are very simple: Before the official beginning of the Premiere, you need to enter your guesstimate.


Categories

"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW"
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!"
"C'MERE!"
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!"
"GET OUT!!"
General rear end-Kissing
General Douchebaggery
Food Smashed or Thrown
Emotional Breakdown

Misleading Preview Moments

(Tiebreaker) Winner = [Contestant]



: counts as any moment where JP does something humorous, awesome, or generally amazing.
Emotional breakdown : requires either tears or absolute rage
Misleading Preview moments: If a preview for an upcoming episode shows that fire will start in the kitchen, and that a contestant will stab everyone in their sleep and nothing happens, it counts as two different items even though it is part of the same preview.



Masterchef Contest 2014
Well, there is no reason not to have one of those. Same rules as above applies, and I tried to pick catchphrases or events that happen relatively often (based on this). I think they are all fairly self-explanatory:

Categories
First time/in the history of...
Huge Advantage
"The most"
Fakeouts
Plates smashed/Dishes thrown
Stunning
Walmart Steaks

(Tiebreak) Winner = [Contestant]



How will this be tabulated?
Points will be counted this way: [actual number of "it's raw"] - [guesstimate] = [value]. Negative values will automatically be transformed into positive ones. For example, guesstimating 42 'raw' and an actual count of 35 = 7 points, same as a guesstimate of 28.

The closest one to a final value of 0 will be the winner!

As for the Tiebreaker: the higher your contestant, the lower your score. Say he finishes in 6th position, that's a score of 5. If your pick ends up first, it's a 0.


Anyone who modifies their HK/MC contest picks after the official beginning of the premieres is automatically disqualified

Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at Feb 24, 2014 around 23:18

Ballz
Dec 16, 2003

it's mario time



Great OP and thanks for fully outlining all the Gordon shows from both sides of the pond. I really want to give a special shoutout to Gordon's Great Escape and Ramsay Behind Bars. The former is fascinating from a foreign food/culture perspective, while the latter proposes a novel idea of reforming prisoners... with cooking.

Twee, where are you hearing KN is back on for next Friday? The latest article I can find says the premiere's been delayed.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Ballz posted:

Great OP and thanks for fully outlining all the Gordon shows from both sides of the pond. I really want to give a special shoutout to Gordon's Great Escape and Ramsay Behind Bars. The former is fascinating from a foreign food/culture perspective, while the latter proposes a novel idea of reforming prisoners... with cooking.

Twee, where are you hearing KN is back on for next Friday? The latest article I can find says the premiere's been delayed.

Thanks! I hope we get news of a third Gordon's Great Escape soon because they might be my favorite of all, and yeah Behind Bars is also really fun if pretty short.

And well I saw that article, but TVguide.com and Kitchen Nightmare's Facebook page both said this morning that the show was coming back on Friday so I assumed that the article was mistaken and went ahead with the OP.


edit: TVGuide.com seems to have updated its listings to reflect what's in the articles, so I guess the premiere has in fact been delayed. Gonna edit OP to reflect that. Dammit I was so excited too


edit 2: my own guesstimates:



and the shut it down is same as last year as well (like half of my picks)

Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at Mar 14, 2014 around 20:45

Redeye Flight
Mar 26, 2010
I liked it--it was witty enough and a lot more impressive than I was expecting for a girl's toy cartoon. So I thought, "Hmm. I'm on Something Awful. I don't see a thread for this anywhere, but other people might like it--it's not like it would be the first cartoon for kids that SA's taken a shine to." So I made a real earnest thread and put it up in TV/IV. And I was both right and wrong, because the forum blew up and fell over, and the thread got raided to shit by FYAD, and in like I think two weeks the show was banned outright because people kept causing fucking drama.


The OP is telling me Junior Masterchefs has been running since 2103.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Graham might have lost 200 pounds, but it's a shame he didn't lose the number of his stylist at the same time

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

It rather suited him when he was heavier, but now? Yeah, he could use an update.

Great op, by the way!

Meatwave
Feb 21, 2014

Truest Detective - Work Crew Division.


Twee as gently caress posted:

Graham might have lost 200 pounds, but it's a shame he didn't lose the number of his stylist at the same time



Good for him. It's a little unexpected that he's a family man whose life looked like one of those 90s sitcoms with a fat wacky dad, 3 kids, and a hot wife:



He's no longer fat, young, and single. He doesn't need zany jeans, zany shoes, a zany vest, zany hair, a zany bow tie, and zany glasses. It looks like he's trying to open a TGI Fridays clone, but in Portland. Just stick with one gimmick, for the love of god.

Meanwhile, Joe looks like he's about to present an award for the finest groom at a dog show.

SpannerX
Apr 26, 2010

I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.


Fun Shoe

Is there a good list of what Kitchen Nightmare's restaurants are still open/are closed? Why yes there is!

smg77
Apr 27, 2007


Clapping Larry


Wow...I didn't realize his success rate was so low.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


smg77 posted:

Wow...I didn't realize his success rate was so low.

It's covered in every HK thread multiple times, so it's a good thing this was brought up early:

The problem is that you are looking at it from the perspective of 'Every restaurant that closes is a defeat for Ramsay.' The thing is that it's the opposite: every restaurant that manages not to close is a victory. Gordon actually has a really high success rate when you understand that's how it really is.

Each and every single of these restaurants would have close if he hadn't come by. Usually they were in the red for hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions, they were operating with huge losses, have no idea what they are doing, their staff is incompetent, bad menus, the list goes on and on.

The restaurant business is extremely cut-throat and unstable. Even Ramsay had to close some restaurants over the year because of economic downturn, etc... If you look at the revisited episodes of restaurants that eventually closed, you can also see that the owners almost invariably return to what they were doing before instead of sticking with Ramsay's game plan. The truth is, even if they stick with Ramsay's game plan to the letter, there are also other variables out of their hand that means the restaurant could close and there's nothing they could do to turn things around.

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

Twee as gently caress posted:

The problem is that you are looking at it from the perspective of 'Every restaurant that closes is a defeat for Ramsay.' The thing is that it's the opposite: every restaurant that manages not to close is a victory.

Counterpoint: Amy's Baking Company is still open.

A Real Happy Camper
Dec 11, 2007

These children have taught me how to believe.


I think in a lot of cases they're already way too far gone to turn things around, even with his help. That and when you get into the older ones, they also have time to go back to old habits or simply end up closing anyway because the restaurant business is hard.

E: beaten

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

^^^ That's how I saw it.

For anybody curious, of the 74 restaurants he's been to, 28 remain open.

Edit: Should specify that this isn't counting the UK series.

Ghostpilot fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2014 around 19:10

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Edit: So yeah the way I see it is that he's actually managed to save 28 restaurants that would be closed other. That's really impressive if you think about it.

Ghostpilot posted:

Counterpoint: Amy's Baking Company is still open.

Amy's Baking Company is a laundering front for Samy's criminal activity. The only staff they currently employ is a dishwasher who shows up once in a while. That doesn't count.

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

Twee as gently caress posted:

Amy's Baking Company is a laundering front for Samy's criminal activity. The only staff they currently employ is a dishwasher who shows up once in a while. That doesn't count.

Y'know, it gives me a whole new perspective on organized crime when you have someone stupid enough to invite a national television show to film on the location of your laundering operation ran by your insane, cat-talkin' wife.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Ghostpilot posted:

Y'know, it gives me a whole new perspective on organized crime when you have someone stupid enough to invite a national television show to film on the location of your laundering operation ran by your insane, cat-talkin' wife.

Well if you look at the interviews and everything, it seems clear to me that Samy agreed for Gordon to come mostly to placate his wife. She seemed to be the one who wanted him to come, and he was pretty reticent about the whole thing.

She probably managed to convince him it was great publicity and it would shut up all the bullies that were giving them a bad name online, because their food was excellent and all that. He also thought he could manipulate Gordon, or threaten him ("I'm a gangster" and all that). When he was not happy with what had been filmed and happened so far in the first few hours, he wanted all the footage scrapped and done on his terms. I think that's the point where he realized they were hosed, but not even in their wildest dream they imagined that they would get the kind of national attention they ended up getting.

And I mean, he married Amy. Clearly he's not a really intelligent man to begin with. Or she's been holding him hostage Fatal Attraction style for all those years, which wouldn't surprise me either.

neckbeard
Jan 25, 2004

Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy...


Hmmm, was checking my TV's guide in hopes that Canada might get ABC early like last time, but I'm not seeing either Global (Canadian network that is carrying it) nor Fox airing Kitchen Nightmares on the 28th.

However... BBC Canada does have the episode "Return to Amy's Baking Company" scheduled on Tuesday the 4th at noon

solar energy panel
Apr 30, 2007


This is fantastic thanks for the new thread Twee.

Anyone been catching Gordon's newer UK kitchen shows? There's one that he films at home with his family that is pretty good.

solar energy panel fucked around with this message at Feb 23, 2014 around 21:44

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Ghostpilot posted:

Counterpoint: Amy's Baking Company is still open.

That really depends on your definition of "still open" though:
‘Kitchen Nightmares’ Most Hated Restaurant Down To One Employee, Owner Ordered Deported!

I wonder if that has anything to do with them pulling the episode?

Twee as gently caress posted:

Amy's Baking Company is a laundering front for Samy's criminal activity. The only staff they currently employ is a dishwasher who shows up once in a while. That doesn't count.

Also this, which probably has no small connection to the former.

Ensign_Ricky
Jan 4, 2008

Daddy Warlord
of the
Children of the Corn


or something...


Lest we forget:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfD8L1euBuk

Also, I inaugurate this threads contest by playing for the first time ever in the history of Hell's Kitchen threads:

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 7
"C'MERE!" - 22
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 14
"GET OUT!!" - 25
General rear end-Kissing - 10
General Douchebaggery - 35
Food Smashed or Thrown - 12
Emotional Breakdown - 5
- 15
Misleading Preview Moments - 30

13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008


We are legion.

raditts posted:

That really depends on your definition of "still open" though:
‘Kitchen Nightmares’ Most Hated Restaurant Down To One Employee, Owner Ordered Deported!

I wonder if that has anything to do with them pulling the episode?


Also this, which probably has no small connection to the former.

I also vaguely recall after airing people being like, "we have to go, there's no way these people are that insane," and the follow-up blog/article reports basically being " they were."

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

THIRTEEN!

Saw Hells Kitchen brand coffee at the store today. Its "inspired" by the tv show.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

What, is it RAW?!

ElBrak
Aug 24, 2004

"Muerte, buen compinche. Muerte."

When you open the can its full of unroasted coffee beans and a little sound chip plays "ITS RAW!" over and over again. When it detects the scent of roasting coffee beans and your tears it switches to "You messing about, big boy?!?!"

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



Twee as gently caress posted:

Edit: So yeah the way I see it is that he's actually managed to save 28 restaurants that would be closed other. That's really impressive if you think about it.

Well, half are in 2012-2013 so they could be failing and just not closed yet.

Segmentation Fault
Jun 7, 2012


Running a restaurant is a very very difficult business, and many of them close early on. If you're looking at it like "Ramsay visited 74 restaurants but only saved 28" you're looking at it incorrectly. A restaurant failing is not a defeat for Ramsay because even if they restaurants stick to the new plans Ramsay gave them, there's so many other factors like local economics, competition, random freak events, etc. that even given the best possible scenario, long-term success is not a guarantee. It's a shame to see the restaurants fail (even more so when we're introduced to the people behind them), but you can't say "Ramsay's success rate is low" because you're not looking at other important metrics like restaurant success in general.

SpannerX
Apr 26, 2010

I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.


Fun Shoe

Twee as gently caress posted:

It's covered in every HK thread multiple times, so it's a good thing this was brought up early:

The problem is that you are looking at it from the perspective of 'Every restaurant that closes is a defeat for Ramsay.' The thing is that it's the opposite: every restaurant that manages not to close is a victory. Gordon actually has a really high success rate when you understand that's how it really is.

Each and every single of these restaurants would have close if he hadn't come by. Usually they were in the red for hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions, they were operating with huge losses, have no idea what they are doing, their staff is incompetent, bad menus, the list goes on and on.

The restaurant business is extremely cut-throat and unstable. Even Ramsay had to close some restaurants over the year because of economic downturn, etc... If you look at the revisited episodes of restaurants that eventually closed, you can also see that the owners almost invariably return to what they were doing before instead of sticking with Ramsay's game plan. The truth is, even if they stick with Ramsay's game plan to the letter, there are also other variables out of their hand that means the restaurant could close and there's nothing they could do to turn things around.

This is 100% correct. If there wasn't a problem to begin with, Ramsay would even be there. I just wanted to post that link just so people could see if their 'favorite' fuckups were still in business or not. Like ABC, other of those restaurants must have (anti)fans?

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


I think looking at the UK series is a fairer assessment of Ramsay himself in turning around a restaurant. In that iteration it was simply just him coming in and improving the food, maybe a bit of sprucing up on a nil budget, and ad campaigns over the course of the week. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty of drama. Obviously the relationships could be just as tumultuous and he had to play therapist on more than one occasion, but at the heart of it all was the food and why people weren't actually visiting the restaurant to eat there, rather than why the family surrounding it was failing.

In the US version it's a matter of coming in, telling them they've been doing it wrong, fighting with the family, getting the family to stop fighting, showing them a couple better dishes (they never make it quite clear how the whole menu evolves anymore,) renovating the place with a FOX crew and budget, and hoping for the best after that one opening dinner service. Any number of things that aren't the food could cause a downfall, several of which are things Ramsay has no control over, including location, finances (especially if they're already in debt,) and general patronage.

Every UK show included a revisit a month or two later as part of the episode as well, including any additional advice should it not be working quite right. The US version has the occasional "Revisited" episode where they look at three places and basically tell you if it's still there.

In other words, a facelift doesn't necessarily fix the emotional issues of a person, and that's essentially what the US version is more than anything else.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!


Fun Shoe

Yea in the UK version you had a bunch of episodes featuring owners/general managers who didn't know what they were doing, and that was the main issue Ramsay had to deal with. He'd come in and show them how to design a menu for the clientele and the area, and show them how to run a real restaurant kitchen if things were that desperate. So a lot of the episodes came down to Ramsay teaching well intentioned, yet ignorant, people how to cook and manage a restaurant. Every episode didn't feature family therapy sessions, although that did come up once in a while.

Everything felt more organic. If the place needed a new chef and menu, that was the focus of the episode. If the décor sucked and the owner was a terrible manager, that was the focus. The show didn't feel nearly as paint-by-numbers, which is whats killing it for me currently.

Mad Dragon
Feb 29, 2004



Twee as gently caress posted:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014
You left out "stunning", which I predict he will say an average of 6 times per episode per show (MC and HK).

KIT HAGS
Jun 5, 2007
Stay sweet

You also left out "Wow! Wow wow wow!"

13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008


We are legion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCU3K6l95Xw Mitchell and Webb had a pretty great criticism of Ramsay in the UK.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


Key and Peele used the Hell's Kitchen settings but really mocked Masterchef above all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPpzJAzdpTU

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012


13Pandora13 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCU3K6l95Xw Mitchell and Webb had a pretty great criticism of Ramsay in the UK.

It made for a great skit, but even in reality the reason the chefs were cooking poo poo was down to using frozen foods, poo poo equipment, and general laziness. On the management side it was usually people wildly mismanaging the business. The guy running The Granary expected it to be some exclusive county party house, that fell apart, so then he hired one decent chef and a bunch of young offenders to run the kitchen, while have a menu with 60-70 dishes including such high ticket items like "shark steak".

Mordiceius
Nov 10, 2007

BE ADVISED THAT I AM AN IDIOT WHO WILL OPT FOR INSULTING AND BELITTLING YOUR INTELLIGENCE INSTEAD OF ASSUMING MY LOGIC IS FLAWED IN ANY WAY, IF I DO THIS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO IGNORE ME

Twee as gently caress posted:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

Needs a "The most amazing" category.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

Wow. I just barreled through Masterchef Jr., and I honestly can't remember the last time TV made me smile so hard. The warm and fuzzy judges make me want to give them all hugs for forever, and those kids...

I thought I could cook. I have been employed as a cook. Now, I feel only shame.

Mordiceius posted:

Needs a "The most amazing" category.

I thought it could also use, "But the real reward was getting to spend time with Chef! "

Propaganda Machine fucked around with this message at Feb 25, 2014 around 21:45

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.


Basebf555 posted:

Yea in the UK version you had a bunch of episodes featuring owners/general managers who didn't know what they were doing, and that was the main issue Ramsay had to deal with. He'd come in and show them how to design a menu for the clientele and the area, and show them how to run a real restaurant kitchen if things were that desperate. So a lot of the episodes came down to Ramsay teaching well intentioned, yet ignorant, people how to cook and manage a restaurant. Every episode didn't feature family therapy sessions, although that did come up once in a while.

Everything felt more organic. If the place needed a new chef and menu, that was the focus of the episode. If the décor sucked and the owner was a terrible manager, that was the focus. The show didn't feel nearly as paint-by-numbers, which is whats killing it for me currently.

I don't know which one it was but the one with the husband and wife who went back into the restaurant business after retiring and all the food was done by the 60 year old husband with egg timers everywhere was

Or the one where the chef meant well but taught himself out of celebrity cookbooks and Gordon made him throw them all away and taught him some real dishes.

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gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak



Luigi Thirty posted:

I don't know which one it was but the one with the husband and wife who went back into the restaurant business after retiring and all the food was done by the 60 year old husband with egg timers everywhere was

Or the one where the chef meant well but taught himself out of celebrity cookbooks and Gordon made him throw them all away and taught him some real dishes.

That was the Shrek in a frock episode!

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