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Segmentation Fault
Jun 7, 2012


Twee as gently caress posted:

It is coming back. Also, add to that list the guy who was Michael Scott irl with anger issues and that's pretty much it for me too

I've been watching Hotel Hell so it's fresh in my memory, but I think there's quite a few things that I'll remember:

-Stuck-up hoarder guy and his boyfriend
-"Emotionally constipated"
-Naked Gordon taking showers for no reason other than "there's one more thing I've got to try"
-weird military man
-nerdy Scooter kid who I hope gets a follow-up episode
-Note: Hotel Died On The Way Back To His Home Planet
-guy stressed out over his job so much he collapses
-Gordon using a black light to find semen stains
-Gordon being a wingman
-Gordon uttering the phrase "The Milfs of Milford"
-That loving gag where they make the billboard chef laugh like it's out of Monty Python or something holy poo poo that was hilarious

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OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


I'll certainly take HK over KN.

Probably does better ratings anyhow.

SHVPS4DETH
Mar 19, 2009

seen so much i'm going blind
and i'm brain-dead virtually


KN will either take over for Thursdays when HK is over or Fridays when the doomed Rake runs out of episodes. The latter seems more likely since it'll be sooner (perhaps 8 weeks if they air all 13 episodes produced which is shorter than an HK season, right?).

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Hell's Kitchen is pretty much the only one of these shows I really enjoy, so I am very happy to hear this news.

May someone finally outdo trash pasta this year.

smg77
Apr 27, 2007


Clapping Larry

MasterChef Junior got a third season pickup before season two even airs.

Hopefully the next set of kids are as awesome as the first group was.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

Kalli posted:

Hell's Kitchen is pretty much the only one of these shows I really enjoy, so I am very happy to hear this news.

May someone finally outdo trash pasta this year.

funeralpotatoes.jpg went a long way to get me to at least watch the audition episodes. It's like Pants on the Ground, but inedible!

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

Propaganda Machine posted:

funeralpotatoes.jpg went a long way to get me to at least watch the audition episodes. It's like Pants on the Ground, but inedible!

So glad I thought to save that pic when it aired. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of it.

Segmentation Fault
Jun 7, 2012


What is this funeral potatoes dot jpeg? I want to learn more.

Ror
Oct 21, 2010

Everything's purrfect!


Segmentation Fault posted:

What is this funeral potatoes dot jpeg? I want to learn more.



Butter, mayonnaise, sour cream, and cheddar cheese. Maybe some potatoes?

Just click this and watch him pour in an entire saucepan of liquid butter.

Ror fucked around with this message at Mar 7, 2014 around 06:46

Segmentation Fault
Jun 7, 2012


Oh my god I thought "funeral potatoes" was a witty joke about the state of the potato dish, not the actual loving name, oh my god

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

It starts at 31:18.

You can google funeral potatoes; it seems like the Mormons are taking ownership of the dish, which is fine by me. They can have it

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

My eldest sister has lived in Utah for some 30+ years. Needless to say, she's familiar with the dish. Thankfully she's never attempted to put anyone into the hospital by making it.

Yet.

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


A preview of the main titles for Season 12 is up on the Hell's Kitchen site. The theme is noir crime comic book.

DurosKlav
Jun 13, 2003

Deutsche Panzer im Sonnenbrand, Stehen zur Kampf gegen England

Ghostpilot posted:

My eldest sister has lived in Utah for some 30+ years. Needless to say, she's familiar with the dish. Thankfully she's never attempted to put anyone into the hospital by making it.

Yet.

Better never piss her off, or the funeral potatoes will be coming for YOU! They work like voodoo, you just make the funeral potatoes then you bend down as close as you can without touching them and whisper the name of your target and they will do the rest.

DurosKlav fucked around with this message at Mar 7, 2014 around 11:10

surf rock
Aug 12, 2007



So, no Kitchen Nightmares tonight? What a shame.

My first ever entry in the most amazing Hell's Kitchen contest:

- 6
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 5
"C'MERE!" - 35
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 4
"GET OUT!!" - 10
General rear end-Kissing - 15
General Douchebaggery - 25
Food Smashed or Thrown - 8
Emotional Breakdown - 14
- 8
Misleading Preview Moments - 23

Also, holy poo poo, whoever said that the theme for this season's opener is "noir comic book" wasn't actually joking.

KIT HAGS
Jun 5, 2007
Stay sweet

[Wha...]What are you doinnnng?! also appears a few times an episode, I think.

brendaneph
Apr 14, 2003


- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 20
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 2
"C'MERE!" - 48
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 8
"GET OUT!!" - 48
General rear end-Kissing - 15
General Douchebaggery - 55
Food Smashed or Thrown - 10
Emotional Breakdown - 20
- 1
Misleading Preview Moments - 21

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Guy that gets hit with a rolling pin by JP in the preview. I don't know his name.

Chicken Doodle
May 16, 2007

This could Hertl-ittle.


Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014


Categories
- 30
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 40
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 39
"C'MERE!" - 75
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 20
"GET OUT!!" - 45
General rear end-Kissing - 40
General Douchebaggery - 100
Food Smashed or Thrown - 40
Emotional Breakdown - 30
- 2
Misleading Preview Moments - 25

(Tiebreaker) Winner = The Drug Addict

Asiina
Apr 26, 2011

We're leaving her behind.


Grimey Drawer

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 40
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 14
"C'MERE!" - 50
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 50
General rear end-Kissing - 10
General Douchebaggery - 60
Food Smashed or Thrown - 15
Emotional Breakdown - 30
- 2
Misleading Preview Moments - how many episodes are there? 23

(Tiebreaker) Winner = The guy from the preview who wants to eat the goat.

J-Spot
May 6, 2002

I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one.



- 0
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 14
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 7
"C'MERE!" - 9
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 5
"GET OUT!!" - 36
General rear end-Kissing - 17
General Douchebaggery - 43
Food Smashed or Thrown - 11
Emotional Breakdown - 13
- 2
Misleading Preview Moments - 21

(Tiebreaker) Winner = The brunette lady in the intro at :40.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

It's always Heath's fault.

Plaster Town Cop

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 17
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 2
"C'MERE!" - 33
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 6
"GET OUT!!" - 40
General rear end-Kissing - 12
General Douchebaggery - 155
Food Smashed or Thrown - 8
Emotional Breakdown - 14
- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - 15

Tiebreaker: DiMarco. I can't resist someone who makes gnocchi.

At least my streak of picking the first person out was ended last season.

Writer Cath fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2014 around 23:49

Corgiflop
Dec 1, 2005

Maximum Derp

- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 8
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 7
"C'MERE!" - 22
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 6
"GET OUT!!" - 22
General rear end-Kissing - 11
General Douchebaggery - 17
Food Smashed or Thrown - 13
Emotional Breakdown - 4
- 42
Misleading Preview Moments - 18

(Tiebreaker) Winner = I haven't looked at the contestants yet, so I'll get back to this

Sticky Keys Man
Oct 24, 2007
Just my package...

Am I the only one that noticed that Jason (guy in preview trying to eat the baby goat) is the same guy from Season 9 who got sick and had to leave on the first day?

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


Sticky Keys Man posted:

Am I the only one that noticed that Jason (guy in preview trying to eat the baby goat) is the same guy from Season 9 who got sick and had to leave on the first day?

That does look like him, doesn't it? He's got the distinction of being fastest eliminated. Nice to see him back, though he seems kind of rowdy based on that preview.

I always wondered if they would one day do an All Stars season with the most notorious contestants and others who had to leave for medical reasons.

KIT HAGS
Jun 5, 2007
Stay sweet

I haven't seen the previews yet. Is there the token morbidly obese man who will inevitably pass out mid service?

Mad Dragon
Feb 29, 2004



Ror posted:

Just click this and watch him pour in an entire saucepan of liquid butter.

Great. That's the only episode of the season that's online. I want to see the rest!

Flyinglemur
Jul 2, 2004

Oh Lucy, I do apologize, I been so terribly busy. Honestly, I barely have the time to drink deep and descend.


Coconut Indian posted:

I haven't seen the previews yet. Is there the token morbidly obese man who will inevitably pass out mid service?

Of course there is.

Flyinglemur
Jul 2, 2004

Oh Lucy, I do apologize, I been so terribly busy. Honestly, I barely have the time to drink deep and descend.


Long time viewer, first time caller

Categories
- 8
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 10
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 22
"C'MERE!" - 30
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 4
"GET OUT!!" - 11
General rear end-Kissing - 9
General Douchebaggery - 27
Food Smashed or Thrown - 40
Emotional Breakdown - 17
- 4
Misleading Preview Moments - 10

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Blonde chick with the short hair that says "catch it" in the intro.

Flyinglemur fucked around with this message at Mar 8, 2014 around 18:20

KennyMan666
May 27, 2010

The Saga


Okay let's do this.

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014
- 12
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 19
"C'MERE!" - 13
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 3
"GET OUT!!" - 14
General rear end-Kissing - 7
General Douchebaggery - 50
Food Smashed or Thrown - 33
Emotional Breakdown - 11
- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - All of them 20

Winner = Jason because he has the beard of a winner.

Masterchef Contest 2014
First time/in the history of... - 13
Huge Advantage - 11
"The most" - 25
Fakeouts - 16
Plates smashed/Dishes thrown - 10
Stunning - 20
Walmart Steaks - 5

Winner = To be added when there's any people to choose from.

Edit: Also, I've been watching Swedish Masterchef. It's pretty nice, doesn't go for much in the personal drama department.

KennyMan666 fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2014 around 11:53

brendaneph
Apr 14, 2003


Coconut Indian posted:

I haven't seen the previews yet. Is there the token morbidly obese man who will inevitably pass out mid service?

He looks like John Goodman.

Fozzy The Bear
Sep 27, 2009

My reaction after reading this
------>


Just in case there is anyone who has missed it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPpzJAzdpTU

e: its on the very first page, sorry!

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


I'm really annoyed they haven't bothered with interviews, bios and pictures of the contestants this year. They always do.

Might have something to do with the show being brought back like three months ahead of schedule 10 days after the announcement though

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


Twee as gently caress posted:

I'm really annoyed they haven't bothered with interviews, bios and pictures of the contestants this year. They always do.

Might have something to do with the show being brought back like three months ahead of schedule 10 days after the announcement though

That's what I was thinking. Heck, even last season they waited until five or six days before to put them up.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax


OmegaBR posted:

That's what I was thinking. Heck, even last season they waited until five or six days before to put them up.

You'd think that this is something they would do at the very beginning of the season, too. Get all the new guys, take the pictures and make them fill out questions and edit as necessary. I can't imagine that they couldn't get one or two guys to have it done by the end of the day really.

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


Is the HK intro up on Youtube or anywhere where us non-US folks can watch it?

liltimshady
Sep 6, 2011


Let's do this! Season 12 debauchery commence!

Hell's Kitchen Contest Season 12
- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 22
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 9
"C'MERE!" - 16
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 2
"GET OUT!!" - 51
General rear end-Kissing - 12
General Douchebaggery - 70
Food Smashed or Thrown - 13
Emotional Breakdown - 11
- 5
Misleading Preview Moments - 9

Winner: As soon as I figure out who the contestants are, I'll have my tiebreaker. Michael DeMarco

liltimshady fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2014 around 03:40

SHVPS4DETH
Mar 19, 2009

seen so much i'm going blind
and i'm brain-dead virtually


Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014
- 0
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 45
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 2
"C'MERE!" - 45
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 12
"GET OUT!!" - 23
General rear end-Kissing - 5
General Douchebaggery - 120
Food Smashed or Thrown - 15
Emotional Breakdown - 20
- 8
Misleading Preview Moments - 15

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Bev

eta tiebreaker

SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2014 around 02:19

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


Oh hey, they've brought back another contestant from a previous season!

It's Jason from Season 9, who left before the first service due to becoming short of breath

Banana Canada
Sep 2, 2003
I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.



Have seen all 11 seasons but this will be my first time following alongside you all. Let's do this!

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 0
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 18
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 10
"C'MERE!" - 36
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 4
"GET OUT!!" - 40
General rear end-Kissing - 6
General Douchebaggery - 86
Food Smashed or Thrown - 24
Emotional Breakdown - 16
- 12
Misleading Preview Moments - 21

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris
He'll either be steady black jacket material or boring incompetent guy that gets tossed early.


Judging by everyone's tiebreaker picks, I don't think anyone's posted a competitor's list yet:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/hell...151943083381478

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Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by Lowtax



I've updated the OP to add that, it only came out yesterday night

Twee as Fuck fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2014 around 21:15

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