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Tasteful Bulge
Sep 5, 2003

It's down to you and me, you one-eyed freak.


As much as I enjoy Hell's Kitchen, I'm getting a little bored with the red team = women, blue team = men teams. Doing this over and over just kinda makes the seasons blur together.

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Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

Let's do dis, donkeys!

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 9
"C'MERE!" - 30
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 7
"GET OUT!!" - 22
General rear end-Kissing - 4
General Douchebaggery - 42
Food Smashed or Thrown - 25
Emotional Breakdown - 11
- 7
Misleading Preview Moments - 26

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Guarav

SpannerX
Apr 26, 2010

I had a beer with Stephen Harper once and now I like him.


Fun Shoe

Okay, I'll bite, though I usually stop watching pretty quickly:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 4
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 13
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 14
"C'MERE!" - 33
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 6
"GET OUT!!" - 28
General rear end-Kissing - 8
General Douchebaggery - 74
Food Smashed or Thrown - 32
Emotional Breakdown - 8
- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - 24

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Scott

Probably a complete douche hose.

Doomsday Jesus
Oct 8, 2004

Doomsday Jesus we need you now.

No contest can ever top Raj. He was seriously a mental patient and I wish they would bring him back.

cheese sandwich
Feb 9, 2009



Doomsday Jesus posted:

No contest can ever top Raj. He was seriously a mental patient and I wish they would bring him back.

I think that woman with the puppet last year would have probably been similar if not worse if she hadn't thrown her I CANT WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE hissy fit so early.

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


Slightly Toasted posted:

I think that woman with the puppet last year would have probably been similar if not worse if she hadn't thrown her I CANT WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE hissy fit so early.
Yeah, the way she just went from "THIS IS WAR", to throwing in the towel and quitting in less than 12 hours was fantastic.

Also I missed the series with Raj so I looked it up on Youtube, and welp:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJVk4q7RUE

Segmentation Fault
Jun 7, 2012


I'm watching through season 11 right now, the way she acted made me think it was for a personal reason than anything else.

The best part was in the episode 4 recap, they show both Gina and her puppet, Antonio Al Dente having their coats hung up and their portraits burned, which I thought was hilarious and I'm surprised nobody caught it in the live thread.

Also the evil dragon coming out of the door in the Episode 7 preview was both terrifying and hilarious. Hell's Kitchen has the funniest editing.

Beef Hardcheese
Jan 21, 2003


It's been too long, Ramsay... Far too long.

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 15
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 5
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 5
"C'MERE!" - 50
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 15
General rear end-Kissing - 20
General Douchebaggery - 50
Food Smashed or Thrown - 30
Emotional Breakdown - 15
- 10
Misleading Preview Moments - 50

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Rochelle

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


While they aren't on the website, several sites including the official facebook have put up info on this season's contestants:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/hell...151943083381478

It also mentions the prize this year once again being a head chef position at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. If I had to guess, it could be Gordon Ramsay BurGR at Planet Hollywood.

Also there are three different Michaels, which makes me think one will be Mike (Aresta,) one will be Michael (DeMarco,) and Michael Gabriel will just be called Gabriel.

OmegaBR fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2014 around 00:23

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


OmegaBR posted:

While they aren't on the website, several sites including the official facebook have put up info on this season's contestants:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/hell...151943083381478

It also mentions the prize this year once again being a head chef position at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. If I had to guess, it could be Gordon Ramsay BurGR at Planet Hollywood.

Also there are three different Michaels, which makes me think one will be Mike (Aresta,) one will be Michael (DeMarco,) and Michael Gabriel will just be called Gabriel.
and that page has already goofed by posting Ralph's picture twice, and then adding Michael DeMarco's picture at the bottom as a footnote, without bothering to edit the pics into their proper places. Good job HK staff.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus

I wonder if the winner will actually get their head chefline cook with huge salary spot this time.

cycowolf
Feb 14, 2005

Refill my prescription to whatever that thing is that makes the carpet stop turning into snakes in lieu of my coming conniption

Sadly I can't watch live this year with the thread. I am way more upset about that than I should be.

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


ded posted:

I wonder if the winner will actually get their head chefline cook with huge salary spot this time.
Unless they start hotspooning during the final, I doubt they'll top Ja'Nel's failure.

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


Oughta get this out of the way:

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 3
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 4
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 6
"C'MERE!" - 35
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 9
"GET OUT!!" - 28
General rear end-Kissing - 8
General Douchebaggery - 60
Food Smashed or Thrown - 11
Emotional Breakdown - 22
- 5
Misleading Preview Moments - 17

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris

esperantinc
May 5, 2003

JERRY! HELLO!


Zero Star posted:

Unless they start hotspooning during the final, I doubt they'll top Ja'Nel's failure.

She got popped for coke, right?

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.


Quite honestly, considering the restaurant industry. Making them pass a drug test to get the prize at the end is kind of a fun way to not have to let any of them work in the restaurant.

subroc
Jun 5, 2004



Twee as gently caress posted:

Hell's Kitchen - Season 12
In terms of changes, the only major news so far is that fan favorite Heather is back permanently as a sous-chef Season 12 and on.
Boo! Heather sucks, bring back Andi!

And I'm so glad HK is back. I really need this trash TV right now.

Segmentation Fault
Jun 7, 2012


Season 12's intro looks even more amazing than season 11's.

Beef Hardcheese
Jan 21, 2003


subroc posted:

Boo! Heather sucks, bring back Andi!

And I'm so glad HK is back. I really need this trash TV right now.

Is there a source for Heather's return? You can see Andi at the pass at the 1:23 mark on this preview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M_6TYIINYM

Edit: And at the end of the intro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2TfUSXU62o

Kammat
Feb 9, 2008
Odd Person

Let the insanity begin!

- 10
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 12
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 15
"C'MERE!" - 30
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 10
General rear end-Kissing - 30
General Douchebaggery - 40
Food Smashed or Thrown - 9
Emotional Breakdown - 15
- 2
Misleading Preview Moments - 12

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Michael DeMarco

Brocktoon
Jul 18, 2006

Before we engage we should hang back and study their tactics.



Ambulance footage at 1:45! Never change, Hell's Kitchen!

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013


I'll do this. I usually drop out before black coats though, because the crazy usually winds down

Can't wait for undercooked dicktips

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 4
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 40
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 15
"C'MERE!" - 20
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - ALL SERVICES 20
"GET OUT!!" - 9
General rear end-Kissing - 10
General Douchebaggery - 34
Food Smashed or Thrown - 33
Emotional Breakdown - 15
- 7
Misleading Preview Moments - 19

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Jessica Vogel*

* I went with longest "specialty"
I also would go with Guarav because I can't even search to find out what the hell Komyn Parfume is.

kittenmittons
Dec 10, 2009


- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 25
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 30
"C'MERE!" - 45
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 8
"GET OUT!!" - 40
General rear end-Kissing - 25
General Douchebaggery - 200
Food Smashed or Thrown - 30
Emotional Breakdown - 27
- 10
Misleading Preview Moments - 20

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Melanie Finch

CommanderApaul
Aug 30, 2003

It's amazing their hands can support such awesome.


Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 0
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 29
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 8
"C'MERE!" - 41
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 19
"GET OUT!!" - 34
General rear end-Kissing - 15
General Douchebaggery - 120
Food Smashed or Thrown - 22
Emotional Breakdown - 12
- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - All of Them 40

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Jason

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...


Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 9
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 33
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 20
"C'MERE!" - 50
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 17
"GET OUT!!" - 17
General rear end-Kissing - 36
General Douchebaggery - 99
Food Smashed or Thrown - 28
Emotional Breakdown - 7
- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - 40

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Guarav

Sticky Keys Man
Oct 24, 2007
Just my package...

- 2
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 15
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 5
"C'MERE!" - 18
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 14
"GET OUT!!" - 30
General rear end-Kissing - 12
General Douchebaggery - 28
Food Smashed or Thrown - 10
Emotional Breakdown - 6
- 3
Misleading Preview Moments - 7

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 39
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 14
"C'MERE!" - 61
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 5
"GET OUT!!" - 29
General rear end-Kissing - 35
General Douchebaggery - 200
Food Smashed or Thrown - 27
Emotional Breakdown - 17
- 7
Misleading Preview Moments - 40

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Ralph

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible


Anton Testino
Age: 39
Hometown: Butler, NJ
Occupation: Head Chef
Signature Dish: Pork with Crabmeat Crust

Isn't this Joe Lo Truglio from Brooklyn 99?

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 5
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 100
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 12
"C'MERE!" - 40
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 18
"GET OUT!!" - 20
General rear end-Kissing - 8
General Douchebaggery - 50
Food Smashed or Thrown - 30
Emotional Breakdown - 10
- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - 15 (though I do want to say "all of them")

(Tiebreaker) Winner = I don't know. Rochelle? (it won't be Rochelle)


Davros1 fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2014 around 21:52

cheese sandwich
Feb 9, 2009



So you've been chosen last again, how does that make you feel?

Masterchef US: gently caress ALL THESE BITCHES I'M GONNA WIN DONT CARE WHAT THESE FOOLS THINK

Masterchef Canada: Aw it's okay that liver I gave you guys the other day was pretty bad I'll come back

Although I'll admit to a bit of bias because it was Krissi in that position literally like every week last year in the US version.

Asiina
Apr 26, 2011

We're leaving her behind.


Grimey Drawer

The years without Krissi were downright pleasant. There were some friendly rivalries, but generally everyone got along great.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

So hype for this.

Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014
- 3
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 47
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 10
"C'MERE!" - 55
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 10
"GET OUT!!" - 37
General rear end-Kissing - 7
General Douchebaggery - 75
Food Smashed or Thrown - 25
Emotional Breakdown - 15
- 5
Misleading Preview Moments - 12

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Jason

Kilza
Oct 3, 2013



Hell's Kitchen Contest 2014

- 1
"IT'S RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW" - 41
"BIG BOY!/STUPID COW!" - 17
"C'MERE!" - 31
"SHUT! IT! DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!" - 16
"GET OUT!!" - 26
General rear end-Kissing - 11
General Douchebaggery - 60
Food Smashed or Thrown - 21
Emotional Breakdown - 13
- 6
Misleading Preview Moments - 26

(Tiebreaker) Winner = Chris

Can't wait to be way off on all of my predictions!

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

It's always Heath's fault.

Plaster Town Cop

YAY! So excited.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Writer Cath posted:

YAY! So excited.

Me too

Kloaked00
Jun 21, 2005

I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desk and reading my name on the glass of my office door: regnaD kciN

poo poo! I didn't realize this was back tonight until just now Guess I'll miss out on the Hell's Kitchen contest this season

On the otherhand HERE WE GO

liltimshady
Sep 6, 2011


Yay!! Donkey time!!

OmegaBR
Feb 14, 2012

Come to me .... and live forever.


Does that Get Out! count?

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

OmegaBR posted:

Does that Get Out! count?

I was under the impression previews and recaps don't count.

Kammat
Feb 9, 2008
Odd Person

Oh god, did that guy slip and slam his hand onto the grill?

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TASTE THE PAIN!!
May 18, 2004



Something is awry...

This is one promising intro.

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