name something that brings you joy and i will post 3 reasons it is terrible

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > name something that brings you joy and i will post 3 reasons it is terrible

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zimboe: Aug 3, 2012; FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

Borommakott posted:

My enormous penis

OP needs some assist with the workload.

1.Loss of cerebral blood pressure when erect.
2.Gotta buy boxers at Big'n'Tall.
3.Negros gonna beat you for tramplinin on their franchise, beotch

zimboe fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Mar 2, 2014

# ? Mar 2, 2014 20:02

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:25

zimboe: Aug 3, 2012; FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

zimboe posted:

Throwing bricks at the Moon.

And soft purry kittehs.

And I'll answer my own:

1. waste of perfectly good bricks.
2. brick fall down, strike in head.
3. moon still laughing at me.

1. Boxes of poo poo in my house.
2. Hair everywhere.
3. Can't think of #3.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 20:13

Tumblr of scotch: Mar 13, 2006; Please, don't be my neighbor.

putting ketchup on everything

# ? Mar 2, 2014 21:22

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

Null Byte posted:

international jewry

1. probs made up
2. hosed up if true
3. israel exists

Arnold of Soissons posted:

did you already do sex & drugs?

sex yes drugs maybe sex and drugs no

1. the calling card of pathetic nostalgic old men. 99% of the time if you hear someone say "sex and drugs" they're 60-year-old former rockers pining for their glory days while browsing amazon for a new colostomy bag.
2. nothing but a distraction from the crushing oppression of life.
3. everyone always thinks cocaine and groupies but somehow forget meth and crack whores

Sabel posted:

chili /w beans

1. not real chili
2. *fartz*
3. your 88 cent can of beans probably cost someone in another country their life

The Brown Menace posted:

1. good, more enemies = more crushing
2. just only have enemies instead of friends then, see 1.
3. don't care about gay poo poo like the lasting glory of victory or whatever, all i wanna do is crush

you seek to live a life of hollow and meaningless conflict. youre already peak terrible not much i can say here.

Mehuyael posted:

Okay, I'll give you something that's actually true. Playing board games.

Not the ones for little children, the ones for manchildren.

1. as you said, is for manchildren
2. has spawned an entire subculture of spergy buttholes who just fart into each others dicks all day about their favorite tedious and complex $800 14-man 32-hour-long games
3. just another time-wasting distraction taht adds nothing to your life

f_c_ posted:

not committing suicide.

1. slowly watching your body deteriorate and your friends and family die
2. living through whatever hell it is that made you think of suicide to begin with
3. kurt cobain vs. keith richards

f_c_ posted:

watching LPs

1. literally the laziest thing possible. you're wasting your time watching someone else waste their time because you're too lazy to even play god drat video games. consider suicide.
2. LPs are made mostly by creepy shut-in pedophiles and insufferable poo poo-lord whiny-bitch attention whores
3. seriously you're watching other ppl play video games just loving kill yourself

Toad on a Hat posted:

Hitler's death

1. no more of hitlers art
2. his dog was probably pretty sad
3. we did not get a chance to bring him to justice in court

Robokomodo posted:

It's probably jerking off. Nothing wrong with that.

covered that already

Cucking Mama posted:

threads where the dude is gonna post a response to each indiv. poster for some hosed up reason

1. ppl will probably only read the responses to their own posts
2. typically runs out of steam or falls apart within a few days
3. mostly unfunny white noise because of the sheer volume of posting required

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

nothing brings me more joy than u op

1. im mean to ppl for no reason, especially if i care for them
2. i am infinitely critical of the work of others but have done nothing even worth criticizing in return
3. just a terrible person over all, would be one of first to die without societal structure

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

even with all your lovely flaws you'll always be perfect to me

zimboe posted:

Throwing bricks at the Moon.

And soft purry kittehs.

1. throw as many bricks as you want, youll never hit your target. the perfect metaphor for life.
2. all cats are just waiting for you to die so they can eat your eyes out of your skull.
3. your time would be better spent throwing bricks at cats.

will work on some more later

# ? Mar 3, 2014 05:14

zimboe: Aug 3, 2012; FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

hahahahaha
MTG, your near to as bitter and evil as I'm.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 06:48

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Kerbal Space Program

1. lovely graphics
2. makes you think you're smarter than you are
3. will easily consume 3-4 hours of your life at a time. its stealing your life.

VisAbsoluta posted:

Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka

1. $1,000 chair
2. responsible for creating a site which has been the subject of over 12,800 posts. even if i spent every waking moment of my life from now on being productive (i wont), this will still be a black eye on my very existence.
3. banned me once what a jerk

Borommakott posted:

My enormous penis

1. im sure girls love the discomfort and occasional vaginal tearing you inflict upon them.
2. by some fluke of genetics, one of your organs is slightly larger than average. bra-loving-vo. you're a wonderful person.
3. regardless of length of girth, you are doomed to a future of erectile dysfunction, and a threadbare libido. it will be nothing but a large and wrinkly albatross around your neck.

Flagrant Abuse posted:

putting ketchup on everything

1. american as gently caress (yes that is terrible)
2. you are Literally A Child
3. there is an almost infinite variety of flavour combinations, or at least so many that even if you ate something new 10 times per day you wouldn't even scratch the surface before you die, and you have decided that this ONE flavour belongs on everything you eat. loving pathetic.

zimboe posted:

hahahahaha
MTG, your near to as bitter and evil as I'm.

1. wow look at we two breathtaking specimens of the human race. our parents would be so proud.
2. no matter how bitter you think you are, the world is such an unfathomably lovely place for so many people that youre not even loving close to as bitter as you would be if your little pea brain could even begin to comprehend the sheer magnitude of the terribleness of it all. that goes for me too
3. goku

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:05

circ dick soleil: Sep 27, 2012; by zen death robot

wow op you're a real dick

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:15

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

the smile of a pretty woman directed at me

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:17

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

man thats gross posted:

1. as you said, is for manchildren
2. has spawned an entire subculture of spergy buttholes who just fart into each others dicks all day about their favorite tedious and complex $800 14-man 32-hour-long games
3. just another time-wasting distraction taht adds nothing to your life

But that's what I like about them.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:30

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

circ dick soleil posted:

wow op you're a real dick

1. im pretty sure im actually just a realist, but who loving knows, maybe im just a star of anger and sadness just radiating bad vibes, but im p. sure everything is terrible if you think about it even a little
2. yes, i am
3. gently caress you too buddy

Police Automaton posted:

the smile of a pretty woman directed at me

1. shes probably looking at someone behind you
2. shes probably just being friendly and youre going to glom onto her like a pathetic turd
3. beauty fades, people grow old, and die

Mehuyael posted:

But that's what I like about them.

then the answer is

1. you
2. you
3. you

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:31

ethanol: Jul 13, 2007

masturbation

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:33

circ dick soleil: Sep 27, 2012; by zen death robot

any music that isn't country or rap

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:34

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

man thats gross posted:

1. no more of hitlers art
2. his dog was probably pretty sad
3. we did not get a chance to bring him to justice in court

well played

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:35

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

man thats gross posted:

then the answer is

1. you
2. you
3. you

So basically you're telling me to love myself? Sage advice.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:38

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

ethanol posted:

masturbation

done this like twice already

circ dick soleil posted:

any music that isn't country or rap

1. white power music
2. justin bieber
3. no southern twang, no ghetto bliss

Mehuyael posted:

So basically you're telling me to love myself? Sage advice.

no youre terrible x3

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:41

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

man thats gross you have grown bitter since the days of the byob

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:42

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

man thats gross posted:

there are no rules, everything is terrible and i can tell you why

I like Ralp, the administrator of the Something Awful Forums.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 21:42

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

Police Automaton posted:

man thats gross you have grown bitter since the days of the byob

no yeah i was p bitter then too its just a lot more dense itt

Lumpy the Cook posted:

I like Ralp, the administrator of the Something Awful Forums.

1. fyad is loving terrible
2. mod of gas chamber, basically runs hell, is satan
3. is a moderator of an internet forum

# ? Mar 3, 2014 22:14

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

man thats gross posted:

no youre terrible x3

The truth hurts.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 22:20

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

sex with OP's sister.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 22:26

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

i enjoy not being a moderator of the something awful forums

# ? Mar 3, 2014 23:42

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

Machai posted:

sex with OP's sister.

already done

crowfeathers posted:

i enjoy not being a moderator of the something awful forums

1. no power over the goons
2. enjoying a negative is dumb and easy. i enjoy not having my dick blown off by a grenade. i enjoy not being swallowed by a black hole. its dumb.
3. apparently there is nothing in your life that actually brings you joy, only an absence of things that bring you misery. this is perhaps a fate worse than death.

# ? Mar 3, 2014 23:58

rcman50166: Mar 23, 2010; by XyloJW

I enjoy linear and cyclotronic methods of particle acceleration to undulate electrons to produce laser light of varying spectrum

okay op, try and say anything that doesn't make you look dumb

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:11

Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

civilization

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:15

Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

rcman50166 posted:

I enjoy linear and cyclotronic methods of particle acceleration to undulate electrons to produce laser light of varying spectrum

okay op, try and say anything that doesn't make you look dumb

you enjoy being a big know-it-all fag i think

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:17

fuck the ROW: Aug 29, 2008; by zen death robot

the hit tv show archer, which airs tonight

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:20

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

pizza and beer

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:21

cool new Metroid game: Oct 7, 2009; hail satan

tits

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:22

FartRomancer.EXE: Jun 26, 2012

orgasms

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:24

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

homosexuality

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:26

Tom Sellout: May 27, 2011; $240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.

Vaporizing marijuana in responsible moderation

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:33

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

rcman50166 posted:

I enjoy linear and cyclotronic methods of particle acceleration to undulate electrons to produce laser light of varying spectrum

okay op, try and say anything that doesn't make you look dumb

1. two seconds on google tells me that all you did was read wiki for a minute then post the two types of oscillating field particle accelerators, which tells me you're probably just another layman like myself trying to sound smarter than you really are.
2. $9B for a place for scientist to shoot lasers up their butts, 4,100 children will starve to death today
3. what if they make a black hole and it sucks the earth into death. makes u think. . . . .

butplug accident posted:

civilization

1. the sweat shop
2. reality television
3. neo-liberalism

gently caress the ROW posted:

the hit tv show archer, which airs tonight

1. full of dumb in-joke memes that nerds will repeat at one another endlessly under the delusion that they are witty or funny at all
2. a cartoon, therefore for children
3. everything on television is a waste of time and awful

Megadyptes posted:

tits

1. makes men into goober-eyed retards. 2014 and we still drool all over our own dicks at the sight of a likely excellent source of nourishment for our future offspring. lamentable.
2. the shame and self-consciousness women must endure when their breasts arent perfect. too big or too small and they are the subject of ridicule or derision. shameful.
3. tittyfucking is so stupid. its such a clumbsy retard dumbass thing to do. only a fucktard man could ever want something so idiot.

FartRomancer.EXE posted:

orgasms

1. persistent genital arousal disorder
2. such a mess, whos gonna clean this up?
3. we spend so much energy and time trying to release juuust the right chemicals from our brain. motherfuckers will hold a knife to your throat just to achieve an orgasm.

corn in the bible posted:

homosexuality

1. a meaningless label, sexuality is a continuum
2. will and grace was a terrible show for idiots
3. killed freddie mercury, rip, pbuh

The Kraken posted:

Vaporizing marijuana in responsible moderation

1. responsibility is for the boring
2. moderation is for pussies
3. vaporizers are stupid and expensive and just another toy for the upper-class underachieving pot-head fucklords of the world

# ? Mar 4, 2014 00:41

Tumblr of scotch: Mar 13, 2006; Please, don't be my neighbor.

these things

(without ketchup)

# ? Mar 4, 2014 02:40

Sponge Baathist: Jan 30, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

1 forums account
2 plat
3 archives

# ? Mar 4, 2014 02:51

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

Flagrant Abuse posted:

these things

(without ketchup)

1. more mass-produced crap created by gently caress you executives in a suck my dick boardroom
2. will never taste as good as it makes you think it will
3. will leave you feeling empty inside, despite your fat loving guts

Double Muhammad posted:

1 forums account
2 plat
3 archives

1. lets you post
2. lets goons talk to you
3. a history of retards

# ? Mar 4, 2014 03:06

rcman50166: Mar 23, 2010; by XyloJW

man thats gross posted:

1. two seconds on google tells me that all you did was read wiki for a minute then post the two types of oscillating field particle accelerators, which tells me you're probably just another layman like myself trying to sound smarter than you really are.
2. $9B for a place for scientist to shoot lasers up their butts, 4,100 children will starve to death today
3. what if they make a black hole and it sucks the earth into death. makes u think. . . . .

Nope, I did extensive research on the topic in 2007 and won $2000 for the study and report. so let's see

1. You look dumb
2. You look dumb
3. You look dumb

# ? Mar 4, 2014 03:17

Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

rcman50166 posted:

Nope, I did extensive research on the topic in 2007 and won $2000 for the study and report. so let's see

1. You look dumb
2. You look dumb
3. You look dumb

look at this homo dork who thinks anyone gives a poo poo

# ? Mar 4, 2014 03:18

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

rcman50166 posted:

Nope, I did extensive research on the topic in 2007 and won $2000 for the study and report. so let's see

1. You look dumb
2. You look dumb
3. You look dumb

wow i and everyone reading this are all super impressed with how smart you are and not the least bit convinced that you are a smarmy rear end in a top hat who will never find happiness in another human being because you see other human beings as little more than 7 billion opportunities to demonstrate how much better and smarter you are than everyone

# ? Mar 4, 2014 03:21

rcman50166: Mar 23, 2010; by XyloJW

man thats gross posted:

wow i and everyone reading this are all super impressed with how smart you are and not the least bit convinced that you are a smarmy rear end in a top hat who will never find happiness in another human being because you see other human beings as little more than 7 billion opportunities to demonstrate how much better and smarter you are than everyone

tell me 3 reasons why this post is terrible

# ? Mar 4, 2014 03:24

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 05:25

man thats gross: Sep 4, 2004

rcman50166 posted:

tell me 3 reasons why this post is terrible

1. im probably wrong there is probably someone out there are terrible as you waiting for you
2. im sure the population number i gave is wrong but i cant be asked to look it up atm
3. thats all the rest is 100% accurate and you are awful

# ? Mar 4, 2014 03:26

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > name something that brings you joy and i will post 3 reasons it is terrible

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