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Shwqa
Feb 13, 2012



Slimy Hog posted:

How did you miss the obvious "clock ring"?

I can't believe it either. This is literally the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me involving a cock ring.

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Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



This whole thread is gonna end up in the library of Congress. That rules





Just thinking about Qubeeís ongoing dick meltdown being preserved as historic record

TheMightyHandful
Dec 8, 2008



Curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see how ridiculous these things are, saw this review.

Alan posted:

#5 My Manhood

Okay, I've been wearing it for 30 days... It's taken time to get used to it. Especially since I'm a nudist and only wore it when i had to out cloths on. What i didn't realize, that leaving "it" uncovered was drying it out. So, I've gotten used to wearing it all the time. Its been a funny joke with my fellow nudist.

All i can say is... Get one, actually get a couple... My level of sensitivity has increased soooo much. Your level may not be like mine but don't give up.

I don't get to restore as much as I'd like to and have resolved that i will wear my Manhood proudly, untill I'm fully restored or dead.

Alan

or just use a baby sock

quote:

#3 Manhood versus Baby Sock
Submitted by anonomous (not verified) on Sun, 03/17/2013 - 11:02am.

I read that one of the bloggers went to a department store and shopped for baby socks. He used this in the place of the Manhood. So, I went to my local department store and bought some baby socks made out of cotton. I bought 3 pairs for $1.00. I tried one on my penis and it worked great !!! The socks had a little elastic band around the end and it held my penis snugly and it never fell off even during sleeping. Morning erections were find as the baby sock moved to compensate. Definitely try this before spending the money for manhood.

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008






Jeeeeeesus. Please stop wearing this fuckin thing and go to a doctor ASAP.

Unless you're sunbathing your dick on a rock like a lizard it should not be getting incredibly dried out, and even so THAT'S SOMETHING FOR A DOCTOR NOT A WEIRD WANG SOCK.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




My bad to everyone who had to see a dude putting on a cock sock yesterday, I thought it wouldn't be an issue since this is the sex questions thread. I'll make sure to spoiler and NSFW tag properly next time, I didn't realise timg will pop it out like some sort of nasty car park flasher if you so much as mouse over it.

Electric Bugaloo posted:

Just thinking about Qubeeís ongoing dick meltdown being preserved as historic record

I didn't have a meltdown, come on man. Imagine being in countless unfulfilling relationships cause your dick feels like a piece of wood, got to the point of psychological fuckery where I'd actively avoid my partners getting near my junk and would instead try to take care of them so they'd be easier to shrug off if they kept insisting on my turn. It's crushing when you keep having the same conversation with different women about how they don't feel sexy, or the dreaded "are you almost done?". It's like having whisky dick but always, with how numb it felt. I was just happy and have a tendency to gush and come across a bit too strongly, but I posted that in case there are other circumcised dudes out there who had the same problems as me. If it means looking like a goof just to help the miniscule amount of people who have these issues, I'm cool with it. Pretty sure it's definitely not placebo, I'd be willing to believe it if this was some basement experiment I was doing myself, but other people who've given it a go say the same stuff, and my girlfriend has said my little guy is smoother and less dry looking. Was 100% skeptical at the beginning, and felt like an absolute moron. But now I'm glad I gave it a shot. I'd say for other circumcised guys to try it out even if they're not having any troubles in the bedroom, it just makes things feel better.

PS: to the people who are treating this like something crazy because of someone's decision to wear a weird sock, I don't get it. I'm the happiest I've been in a relationship and no longer feel like a sexual burden, and you're telling me to go see a therapist / doc as if they'll be able to magically fix the fact my turtle doesn't have a neck and I straight up had little to no sensation? Saw a doc at sixteen, he just looked at my junk and poked it and said it looked fine, I don't understand how it would be different going at 26. Is it surprising that someone would obsess over something like this if things were blatantly not working right? I'd given previous advice (no porn, masturbation, or using my non-existent deathgrip) a try, and it was all no bueno. This is the one thing that seems to have fixed my issues, and it's been gradual. I'm out, thank you for all the advice. I'll post sometime next month to let you all know I haven't developed gangrene or started sloughing off skin like a leper. If anyone is genuinely curious and wants to know more, feel free to PM or whatever.

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009

I'M SO OLD AM I RITE

Yeah, you havent been to a doctor in 10 years and you're wearing a cock sock to medically treat a condition that could possibly have real physical implications, with snake oil science, at that.

Mostly, it seems to me, you have a psychological issue, and it takes time to retrain your brain and in combination, your penis. If a cock sock is the tool you're using to further your healing, then great I guess. But man, you take your car into a mechanic and they seem lovely, you go to another one. You dont wait 10 years to service your car.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl


For the record I am circumcised and I am completely horrified by the concepts that Qubee is bringing to the thread. I guess that's the difference between a hospital snip and getting weird uncle Ezekiel to do it, apparently with a pair of rusty hedge clippers.

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008






Kazvall posted:

Yeah, you havent been to a doctor in 10 years and you're wearing a cock sock to medically treat a condition that could possibly have real physical implications, with snake oil science, at that.

Mostly, it seems to me, you have a psychological issue, and it takes time to retrain your brain and in combination, your penis. If a cock sock is the tool you're using to further your healing, then great I guess. But man, you take your car into a mechanic and they seem lovely, you go to another one. You dont wait 10 years to service your car.

Spot on! Especially because, going back through your(Qubee's) posts, you said you took a 3 day break and thought that would fix your death grip, as well as insisting "no i just grab it softly so i can't have a death grip" which is missing the entire point of a death grip. You've also become sexually active with a partner in just the last year, so this is the PERFECT TIME to go back to a doctor, not google some infomercial sounding quick-fix for your genitals.

purple death ray posted:

For the record I am circumcised and I am completely horrified by the concepts that Qubee is bringing to the thread. I guess that's the difference between a hospital snip and getting weird uncle Ezekiel to do it, apparently with a pair of rusty hedge clippers.

If my dick became so sensitive that toweling it off normally caused discomfort/pain, I would go to the loving doctor IMMEDIATELY. Not think "huh, this snake oil dick sock really IS working!"

And we're treating it like something crazy because it is something crazy, and we want you to get actual medical advice. Seriously, go to a loving doctor. This isn't your elbow or something we're talking about, this is your dingaling.

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009

I'M SO OLD AM I RITE

A cock sock is something I expect Gwenith Paltrow to soon be making millions off of.

whydirt
Apr 18, 2001


Gaz Posting Brigade


Kazvall posted:

A cock sock is something I expect Gwenith Paltrow to soon be making millions off of.

You mean a handcrafted Lingam Sheath (tm)?

Slimy Hog
Apr 22, 2008



Johnny Truant posted:

Seriously, go to a loving doctor.

And because it needs repeating:
Go to a doctor.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




I'm not entirely sure how the doctor visit plays out if I waltz into their office with a "Hey doc, I can't really feel my penis", other than an exact reenactment of what happened ten years ago: prod, inspect, you're good. How do you even differentiate between physiological vs psychological? A perfunctory handjob followed by me filling out a form and choosing which smiley face I am on the scale? We're talking about an actual soft piece of fabric here, it's hardly medical treatment. It's like wearing silk underwear, only cheaper, and more snug. It doesn't really scream snake oil salesman territory. And purple death ray, I apologise profusely for the horrifying and absolutely sickening image of me putting a soft piece of cloth around my dick. The thought of uncle Ezekiel hacking away with a pair of rusty hedge clippers? De nada.

Anyways, unless things start burning / itching / hurting / discharging, I'm not going to the doc, cause right now it's a case of saying "Hey doc, I used to not be able to feel my penis and couldn't climax no matter what. It was also very dry-looking, but now I wear a small silken sock, and sensitivity is at a good place and I'm feeling fulfilled and happy in the bedroom, I think my girlfriend has started coming onto me more often because it no longer takes me an age to get off. Oh, my penis reflects light off it's head like a polished doorknob now, what should I do?". I also think that my exaggeration coupled with the fact we're all posting and reading sterile pieces of text over the internet may have caused people to take the sensitivity thing a bit too literally. I can towel dry just fine, it's just not comfortable. So I just dab instead. Simple. I'm carrying on with life, still watching porn, jerking off, and being able to climax when I'm intimate with my partner despite all these things. Not needing to sexually frustrate myself to increase chances of ejaculation. Hallelujah and have a blessed day.

Final note regarding the dick funk smell, gonna go out on a limb and say it's perfectly normal, something something glans is no longer thick with callous so mucous membranes are probably able to secrete more than what I'm used to. Just came in here looking for a pat on the back and a job well done, hoping to spread the word to any other peeps out there who had the same issues, walked out feeling like I belong in a straitjacket with a room in the local asylum. gently caress me.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
i like nice words


I have met more dicks than you, and thank God, I've never encountered anything describable as dick funk.

Here's the thing. If you have a piece of fabric permanently wrapped around your finger, getting wet and trapping all the moisture, your finger will get more sensitive. That's not because that's God's original plan for your finger, it's skin maceration. It leads to infections, smells, skin peeling off, and eventually probably your finger falling off. Staying moist 24/7 is not good for your skin. That's why if you break a bone and get a cast, you can't get the cast wet, because it will trap moisture against your skin and bad things will happen.

It's true the penis head is originally a naturally moist mucous membrane and that changes after circumcision. Can you get that back by wearing a dick sock? Or are you just going to make your dick get infected and fall off? I would want to talk with a doctor instead of just taking that bet.

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009

I'M SO OLD AM I RITE

So instead of abstaining from self pleasure and erotic imagery, to try and train your body and brain to respond to normal stimuli, you're doubling down and using possibly unsafe methods to force an unnatural sensitivity.

If you cant stop watching porn, consider you have an addiction.

Like, you could just moisture your dick with cream or oils, change your soap or body wash and stop manually getting yourself off and achieve results that are superior.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




It's like Pandora's box in here. Now I have a porn addiction. Thanks Kazvall, I wasn't aware that using porn once every few days constituted addiction. And I've tried all that other stuff, and not just for three days. It personally didn't work, though I'm sure it was great for other people. Though that being said, I've not manually stimulated or watched porn since Saturday, things are better in the bedroom so I legit don't feel a need to.

Anne, you make very valid points, and I understand why it seems incredibly stupid and dangerous to you. I can assure you things aren't moist, it's breathable and I leave them on the radiators overnight to dry out when I wash them. So they're always worn clean and dry, and only for one day at a time. When I take the sock off, it's not moist. I'll go get a swab from the doctors to put an end to this smell thing once and for all.

Qubee fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Nov 27, 2019

Kazvall
Mar 20, 2009

I'M SO OLD AM I RITE

If not being able to stop doing a thing that is possibly the root cause of your underlying issue, and I'm not a doctor, but that could be addiction.

I'm going to infer by your statement that when things were worse in the bedroom that you would self stimulate more.

Kazvall fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Nov 27, 2019

BirdOfPlay
Feb 19, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Turtlicious posted:

LMao if you're not in a committed relationship with an asexual so you have to find increasingly dark and forbidden tomes to get yourself off

lmbo if your ace partner isn't the one sending you those tomes

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl


You're remarkably confident for somebody who walked around with a callus on their hog their entire life. Like you had a remarkably abnormal situation and you still do tbh, it's cool that you can cum now but that doesn't mean everything is fine. I don't know how you realize how hosed up your dick is/was and stay this smug about what you're doing now.

Also like a few months ago you were calling it a "verguba" and now you're like king sex of gently caress mountain lol

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009


Ask your doctor if Verguba is right for you.

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot hoot hoot hoot hoothoothoothoothoothoothoot hoooohootohtothotootothtoto, hoot


Your dick is not supposed to be calloused, hth.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




purple death ray posted:

You're remarkably confident for somebody who walked around with a callus on their hog their entire life. Like you had a remarkably abnormal situation and you still do tbh, it's cool that you can cum now but that doesn't mean everything is fine. I don't know how you realize how hosed up your dick is/was and stay this smug about what you're doing now.

Also like a few months ago you were calling it a "verguba" and now you're like king sex of gently caress mountain lol

What are you actually on about? With regards to my hosed up dick, the only thing hosed about about an altogether normal looking penis was that I wasn't getting much sensation from it. This is you taking what I've said and upping it to the extreme. And poo poo, I act like an embarrassing twat, and?? Look at me, King of Sex Mountain, coming in and asking for tips and advice with regards to sex and how little of it I've had, whilst openly admitting that I am sorely lacking in experience. Stop being a stinkyhole for the sake of being a stinkyhole, you seem awfully up in arms for a problem that I'm having and has literally zero negative impact on you. If I want to macerate the poo poo out of my dick, you did your duties as a good Samaritan. But keep jumping in on the conversation to make quips and take potshots man, respect. Remarkably abnormal, are you thinking I'm walking around with 3 inches of callous on my dick?

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008






"It's not Snake oil! It's not Snake oil!" I cry, as I slowly shrink into its off label alternative, a sock and a rubber band.

You've already ignored all the advice we're giving you, why are you still here? Go see a goddamn doctor, stop pretending you know fuckall about what penises do or don't do or what a doctor will or won't say, loving hell.

And why do we think you have a calloused dick? Hmm, I wonder...

Qubee posted:

, my skin would start looking very dry and dark and leathery, to the point where I thought it'd peel off.

[...]

So I guess the hard keratinized skin is breaking off on my glans and exposing the mucous membrane thing, or??? I don't know. Is this something you guys have?

Qubee posted:


- I haven't actually flaked, or if I have, I haven't noticed. My skin just appears smoother, less dry and wrinkly, and isn't as tough as it used to be. It actually looks shiny now. Maybe I will flake, but AFAIK, this is pretty normal. Circumcision causes a sort of callous to develop to protect the sensitive skin, so if you keep it protected, the callous eventually sheds off (or so I've read).

Slimy Hog
Apr 22, 2008



Qubee posted:

What are you actually on about? With regards to my hosed up dick, the only thing hosed about about an altogether normal looking penis was that I wasn't getting much sensation from it. This is you taking what I've said and upping it to the extreme. And poo poo, I act like an embarrassing twat, and?? Look at me, King of Sex Mountain, coming in and asking for tips and advice with regards to sex and how little of it I've had, whilst openly admitting that I am sorely lacking in experience. Stop being a stinkyhole for the sake of being a stinkyhole, you seem awfully up in arms for a problem that I'm having and has literally zero negative impact on you. If I want to macerate the poo poo out of my dick, you did your duties as a good Samaritan. But keep jumping in on the conversation to make quips and take potshots man, respect. Remarkably abnormal, are you thinking I'm walking around with 3 inches of callous on my dick?

Go see a doctor.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




No that's literally every circumcised dick. You're not meant to walk around with your junk exposed to constant stimulus, wouldn't that be akin to a woman walking around with her clitoral hood pulled back or a dude with his foreskin taped back? Look at pics of circumcised vs uncircumcised, skin dries out and thickens up as a form of protection. But you're right, I'm just making GBS threads up the thread at this stage. Didn't mean to start a mob. The day my knob falls off is the day I come back here and tell you all you were right and I was foolish, and I'll hand back my title of King of Sex Mountain. Because God forbid I talk about having sex in the sex megathread and someone calls me out for it.

Slimy Hog
Apr 22, 2008



Qubee posted:

No that's literally every circumcised dick.

No it's not. Go see a doctor.

Zedd
Jul 6, 2009

I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?




Dude I have had ED for a most of the time I have been sexually active and your poo poo still sounds weird to me. I don't doubt that what you do ATM works but just go see a *good* doctor about it. Nobody here is trying to put you down IMO but this doesn't sounds like a long term solution.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl


Dude posts a short novel about how his dick has no sensation and looks like Freddy Krueger then melts down when people imply there is maybe something wrong that a penis cozy can't fix

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008






Qubee posted:

No that's literally every circumcised dick. You're not meant to walk around with your junk exposed to constant stimulus, wouldn't that be akin to a woman walking around with her clitoral hood pulled back or a dude with his foreskin taped back? Look at pics of circumcised vs uncircumcised, skin dries out and thickens up as a form of protection. But you're right, I'm just making GBS threads up the thread at this stage. Didn't mean to start a mob. The day my knob falls off is the day I come back here and tell you all you were right and I was foolish, and I'll hand back my title of King of Sex Mountain. Because God forbid I talk about having sex in the sex megathread and someone calls me out for it.



Nice meltdown, and no, your dick is hosed up.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

Qubee posted:

No that's literally every circumcised dick.

Itís really not, though.

Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



I see the squinting Bubbles face and then I read the posts that follow and itís like the worst shot+chaser.

Shwqa
Feb 13, 2012



Qubee posted:

No that's literally every circumcised dick. You're not meant to walk around with your junk exposed to constant stimulus, wouldn't that be akin to a woman walking around with her clitoral hood pulled back or a dude with his foreskin taped back? Look at pics of circumcised vs uncircumcised, skin dries out and thickens up as a form of protection.

My circumcised penis doesn't do that.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


College Slice

As another non hood haver, mine also doesn't have a callous on the head of it.

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority


As a ponchohaver, reading lizard dick's posts had me like

Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



Shine posted:

As a ponchohaver, reading lizard dick's posts had me like

Same. Like, sometimes I rub a towel or underwear against the uncovered head by accident and itís not like Iím overwhelmed with sensation or discomfort or whatever either.

Thatís not how it should work

Iím getting wicked koro vibes, where like every subtle perceived change is this monumental thing. Heís even got the special device to strap his hog into.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

Tanz mit laibach

Im der Pfunderdome!



Qubee posted:

I didn't have a meltdown, come on man.

No, no. He said "dick meltdown", as in your dick is melting down, not as in you're melting down about your dick.





You have, since then, melted down about your dick.




But bleh, I'm about 50/50 on this being another Avshslom gimmick-alt.

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


I don't know what you guys are talking about my circumcised dick smells like rotting meat, and when I helicopter it to air it out from my moist penis sock it attracts a small group of Californian condors. This is normal for all circumcised people.

E: Here's a pic of me feeding one of the condors NSFW

Turtlicious fucked around with this message at 09:01 on Nov 28, 2019

Origami Dali
Jan 7, 2005

Get ready to fuck!
You fucker's fucker!
You fucker!


Is everyone in here circumcised or something? I don't know about this cock sock poo poo, but by god I know dicks, and circumcised and uncircumcised dick heads are very different in terms of sensitivity and smoothness. It's why uncircumcised dudes jack off using the foreskin as a sleeve. The exposed head is way too sensitive for most friction that would seem normal for a circumcised dude. That ain't news.

That being said, check with a doctor dude to make sure that using a plastic dick coffin won't give you a fuckin infection.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl


There's a difference between being a bit less sensitive and having a hard layer of chitin protecting your vulnerable dick from predators, though

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Somehow inferring my dick looks like Freddy Krueger or I've developed some hard chitinous shell like a beetle just because I used the word callous is a bit of a stretch. It's like I've really rubbed some people the wrong way. My dick went from looking like this NSFW to a little bit more of this NSFW. That's literally it. Next time, I'm gonna refrain from using hyperbole cause it's pretty clear a lot of people in here take things at extreme face value. If I say my dick is dry, then people take it to mean it's looking like some cracked sand kept in the sun too long. If I say it's very sensitive, it means I can't so much as look at it without bursting into tears from the agony.

I went to the doctors. I spoke to her about the cock sock and smell. It was embarrassing and pointless, but it's what the masses wanted. I've been told to keep an eye on things and book another appointment if anything changes. But what a surprise, putting a sock on your dick isn't cause for medical intervention. Only person who even hit close to the mark was Anne.

Qubee fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Nov 28, 2019

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Slimy Hog
Apr 22, 2008



Qubee posted:

Somehow inferring my dick looks like Freddy Krueger or I've developed some hard chitinous shell like a beetle just because I used the word callous is a bit of a stretch. It's like I've really rubbed some people the wrong way. My dick went from looking like this NSFW to a little bit more of this NSFW. That's literally it. Next time, I'm gonna refrain from using hyperbole cause it's pretty clear a lot of people in here take things at extreme face value. If I say my dick is dry, then people take it to mean it's looking like some cracked sand kept in the sun too long. If I say it's very sensitive, it means I can't so much as look at it without bursting into tears from the agony.

I went to the doctors. I spoke to her about the cock sock and smell. It was embarrassing and pointless, but it's what the masses wanted. I've been told to keep an eye on things and book another appointment if anything changes. But what a surprise, putting a sock on your dick isn't cause for medical intervention. Only person who even hit close to the mark was Anne.

I'm glad you and your partner are satisfied with your smelly rod, but nobody wants to hear about your dick and the nice Christmas sweater your bought for it anymore.

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