Sex Questions Megathread: I got herpes from my grandma

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Sex Questions Megathread: I got herpes from my grandma

thotsky: Jun 7, 2005; hot to trot

Antivehicular posted:

That's fair, but given how common an attitude "femsub BDSM is empowering and liberating to everyone and basically the default, and any woman who isn't into it is some kind of prude" still seems to be in sex-positive circles, it's not a particularly funny joke.

Maybe not related, but research shows kink role preferences to a very large degree mirror mainstream gender roles, particularly for women.

# ? Mar 21, 2023 22:03

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 15:46

BlankSystemDaemon: Mar 13, 2009

Please just loving communicate.

# ? Mar 21, 2023 22:09

Violet_Sky: Dec 5, 2011; Fun Shoe

BlankSystemDaemon posted:

Please just loving communicate.

I'll communicate while loving.

# ? Mar 21, 2023 22:36

Nobody Interesting: Mar 29, 2013; One way, dead end... Street signs are such fitting metaphors for the human condition.

Violet_Sky posted:

This whole conversation kinda worries me. I'm someone that for whom sex is physically difficult due to a disability It sucks rear end that I can't do much in bed. Also patriarchal sex bullshit blahblahblah. I'm worried that I won't be able to please my future partner. I'm a cis woman, btw.

My partner (we are a heteronormative cis f/m couple) constantly has this worry, and tells me often how she feels "guilty" that she can't - for example - jump on top of me and ride me into the sunset. She's overweight and has some injuries that make mobility tricky for her, so some positions are out of the question and general endurance is a problem. The weight she can (and is) working on, but the limiting injuries to her legs, feet, and back prevent her from being more wild.

Her guilt, her worries, her feeling that she isn't good enough for me because a few positions hurt more than others... As far as I am concerned, it's unfounded. We work with it. We have plenty of fun and some days she gets enough wind in her sails to save a horse or two. I don't push her or ask her to push herself. Before anything goes into a hole we check in with the other and just generally have a lot fun.

Obviously I don't know (and I don't wish to sound like I am asking) the extent of your disability, but I am convinced with communication and understanding, any two people can have outstanding sex no matter the limitations.

The more we bang, the more I find myself singing "Don't worry, be happy".

Nobody Interesting fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Mar 21, 2023

# ? Mar 21, 2023 22:40

Violet_Sky: Dec 5, 2011; Fun Shoe

Nobody Interesting posted:

My partner (we are a heteronormative cis f/m couple) constantly has this worry, and tells me often how she feels "guilty" that she can't - for example - jump on top of me and ride me into the sunset. She's overweight and has some injuries that make mobility tricky for her, so some positions are out of the question and general endurance is a problem. The weight she can (and is) working on, but the limiting injuries to her legs, feet, and back prevent her from being more wild.

Her guilt, her worries, her feeling that she isn't good enough for me because a few positions hurt more than others... As far as I am concerned, it's unfounded. We work with it. We have plenty of fun and some days she gets enough wind in her sails to save a horse or two. I don't push her or ask her to push herself. Before anything goes into a hole we check in with the other and just generally have a lot fun.

Obviously I don't know (and I don't wish to sound like I am asking) the extent of your disability, but I am convinced with communication and understanding, any two people can have outstanding sex no matter the limitations.

The more we bang, the more I find myself singing "Don't worry, be happy".

I have cerebral palsy and am a wheelchair user which limits my positions. I'm working on physio to help me with non-sex stuff but I'll see if that helps with bedroom matters.

# ? Mar 21, 2023 23:00

BlankSystemDaemon: Mar 13, 2009

Violet_Sky posted:

I'll communicate while loving.

As long as there's communication, great!

# ? Mar 21, 2023 23:44

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

I'm just making fun of the phrase "waiting for sex until after marriage" along with doing literally everything but penetration. It's just funny to me, while painting a picture of expectations and perspective.

# ? Mar 22, 2023 01:46

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Violet_Sky posted:

I'll communicate while loving.

Again, make sure clickers are available

# ? Mar 22, 2023 16:45

KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

RFC2324 posted:

Again, make sure clickers are available

"Why does my dog start scratching at the door every time we have sex?"

# ? Mar 22, 2023 18:29

Bollock Monkey: Jan 21, 2007; The Almighty

Violet_Sky posted:

I have cerebral palsy and am a wheelchair user which limits my positions. I'm working on physio to help me with non-sex stuff but I'll see if that helps with bedroom matters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG3fOm4m890

# ? Mar 22, 2023 18:35

Techno Remix: Feb 13, 2012

Hey all. I could use a bit of a brainstorm here. I've been having some kind of issue lately and I'm just not sure what else I can do about it. I've got an upcoming appointment with my GP and I'm working with my therapist as well so I'm not substituting goon advice for medical advice, but I tend to freeze up in these appointments so if I have stuff written down it helps me remember to bring it up. So it'd be cool to maybe get a couple of ideas from you all so I can think of a direction to go.

I've (cis-male, late 30s) been with my wife (cis-female, late 30s) almost 10 years now. Our sex life wasn't always good (I'd actually say most of it wasn't all that good) but we've put in a lot of effort to make changes and communications and things have dramatically improved over the past couple years. We were both overweight but we're crushing it in that department (she's down 30 pounds, I'm down almost 20). I've gotten my blood pressure under control, my A1c has fallen well out of pre-diabetic range, and my cholesterol (which was through the loving roof 18 months ago) actually fits on the little line graph the doctor uses now. Point there is we've taken considerable control of our health in recent years, and these problems seem to be worse even after all that.

But basically, when we're having sex or doing anything else, everything is always going well for me right up until I'm about, I'd say 80% of the way to orgasm. At that point it's like all sensation completely disappears and no matter what I'm not able to get it back. It's almost like I've completely skipped the orgasm/ejaculation part and gone from arousal to the downswing of refractory. This probably happens a little more than half the time we're having sex, or if we're just loving around without penetration. It's extremely frustrating for both of us, even if we know (logically) that orgasms don't necessarily have to be the final destination if that makes sense. She's never had a problem in that department, she seems to be working just fine without any issues. I've also never had a problem with impotence; getting and maintaining an erection is not a problem.

I am on SSRIs (Celexa) and the doctor put me on Wellbutrin about 6 months ago to try and alleviate it. It helped for a little bit, but it's still pretty prevalent. I've been on SSRIs for about 10 years now, and I never really had these problems for the first 6-7 years of taking them. All of my other meds (blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds) I've also been taking for a fair bit of time, and they didn't have an effect on that either. I thought it could be regular old death grip so I've stopped masturbating all together (for about the last 3-4 months), that doesn't seem to be having much of an effect. I don't even get that blue ball feeling or whatever it's called, like something's backed up in there, it's just like my body considers itself having orgasmed without actually doing anything. It's bizarre, I don't know if I'm explaining it right at all but that's about the best I can do.

It could be the meds but considering how long I've been on them it seems a little less likely (I'm no doctor, though). It could absolutely be psychological which, if it is, I have no idea why it's coming up now. Maybe I'm just getting too old and this is the natural progression of things. I've never gone too in depth with my therapist on these things, no idea why I'm so nervous to bring it up but we've kind of started talking about it over the past couple sessions. He also gave me a couple referrals to couples sex therapists which my wife and I have been thinking about exploring, just to see if we can learn how to communicate about these things better.

I dunno. It's just super frustrating and I'm running out of ideas on my own. My GP and therapist will hopefully help a bit, but I'd love any additional ideas y'all might have or things I might want to keep in mind and bring up with my doc in case I forget.

Fake edit: I'm seeing the most recent posts and I'm kind of seeing the connection w/ expectations and all. We are trying to mentally re-frame intimacy as less about the destination and more about the journey, but we've only just started that so it might be a bit down the road.

# ? Mar 26, 2023 18:39

Lights: Dec 9, 2007; Lights, the Peacock King, First of His Name.

Techno Remix posted:

Hey all. I could use a bit of a brainstorm here. I've been having some kind of issue lately and I'm just not sure what else I can do about it. I've got an upcoming appointment with my GP and I'm working with my therapist as well so I'm not substituting goon advice for medical advice, but I tend to freeze up in these appointments so if I have stuff written down it helps me remember to bring it up. So it'd be cool to maybe get a couple of ideas from you all so I can think of a direction to go.

I've (cis-male, late 30s) been with my wife (cis-female, late 30s) almost 10 years now. Our sex life wasn't always good (I'd actually say most of it wasn't all that good) but we've put in a lot of effort to make changes and communications and things have dramatically improved over the past couple years. We were both overweight but we're crushing it in that department (she's down 30 pounds, I'm down almost 20). I've gotten my blood pressure under control, my A1c has fallen well out of pre-diabetic range, and my cholesterol (which was through the loving roof 18 months ago) actually fits on the little line graph the doctor uses now. Point there is we've taken considerable control of our health in recent years, and these problems seem to be worse even after all that.

But basically, when we're having sex or doing anything else, everything is always going well for me right up until I'm about, I'd say 80% of the way to orgasm. At that point it's like all sensation completely disappears and no matter what I'm not able to get it back. It's almost like I've completely skipped the orgasm/ejaculation part and gone from arousal to the downswing of refractory. This probably happens a little more than half the time we're having sex, or if we're just loving around without penetration. It's extremely frustrating for both of us, even if we know (logically) that orgasms don't necessarily have to be the final destination if that makes sense. She's never had a problem in that department, she seems to be working just fine without any issues. I've also never had a problem with impotence; getting and maintaining an erection is not a problem.

I am on SSRIs (Celexa) and the doctor put me on Wellbutrin about 6 months ago to try and alleviate it. It helped for a little bit, but it's still pretty prevalent. I've been on SSRIs for about 10 years now, and I never really had these problems for the first 6-7 years of taking them. All of my other meds (blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds) I've also been taking for a fair bit of time, and they didn't have an effect on that either. I thought it could be regular old death grip so I've stopped masturbating all together (for about the last 3-4 months), that doesn't seem to be having much of an effect. I don't even get that blue ball feeling or whatever it's called, like something's backed up in there, it's just like my body considers itself having orgasmed without actually doing anything. It's bizarre, I don't know if I'm explaining it right at all but that's about the best I can do.

It could be the meds but considering how long I've been on them it seems a little less likely (I'm no doctor, though). It could absolutely be psychological which, if it is, I have no idea why it's coming up now. Maybe I'm just getting too old and this is the natural progression of things. I've never gone too in depth with my therapist on these things, no idea why I'm so nervous to bring it up but we've kind of started talking about it over the past couple sessions. He also gave me a couple referrals to couples sex therapists which my wife and I have been thinking about exploring, just to see if we can learn how to communicate about these things better.

I dunno. It's just super frustrating and I'm running out of ideas on my own. My GP and therapist will hopefully help a bit, but I'd love any additional ideas y'all might have or things I might want to keep in mind and bring up with my doc in case I forget.

Fake edit: I'm seeing the most recent posts and I'm kind of seeing the connection w/ expectations and all. We are trying to mentally re-frame intimacy as less about the destination and more about the journey, but we've only just started that so it might be a bit down the road.

My first thought is that if you've lost weight but have not adjusted your medication doses, it could be that you've simply got more Celexa/Wellbutrin per lb in you, and are thus experiencing side effects that you previously had been avoiding - most SSRIs have orgasm inhibition as a known side effect. You may also just be getting older and your reaction to that medication has changed.

Or it could be something else entirely! But I'd bring it up to your GP and discuss if reducing one or both doses to the next rung down is worth considering.

# ? Mar 26, 2023 18:45

necrobobsledder: Mar 21, 2005; Lay down your soul to the gods rock 'n roll; Nap Ghost

Dosage of your medication may need to go down is my first guess. Also tolerance can build up and people can change, yada yada. I don't know anything about these medications but I'd work with a psychiatrist to adjust dosage responsibly.

# ? Apr 2, 2023 11:05

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Years ago when I was taking Paxil, it took me forever to finish. Different meds affect people in different ways, especially SSRIs.

# ? Apr 3, 2023 13:48

Techno Remix: Feb 13, 2012

I�d already forgotten I�d posted here but I wanted to give my thanks for the advice. I feel far better being in therapy than I ever have on citalopram alone, so I think we�ll start by targeting that and seeing about dropping the dosage down.

The wife has been nothing but supportive so I think we�ll work through this just as well as we always do.

Thanks again, all.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 05:59

whydirt: Apr 18, 2001; Gaz Posting Brigade

Good therapy owns. Good luck!

# ? Apr 12, 2023 15:22

Feral Integral: Jun 6, 2006; YOSPOS

What's a good website to buy kinky poo poo like soft natural ropes for bondage and gags and stuff? Looking for good quality/price ratio

# ? May 27, 2023 00:40

Shine: Feb 26, 2007; No Muscles For The Majority

Feral Integral posted:

What's a good website to buy kinky poo poo like soft natural ropes for bondage and gags and stuff? Looking for good quality/price ratio

Extreme Restraints is a good online shop. Not linking because it's NSFW, but it's www dot Extreme Restraints dot com.

# ? May 27, 2023 01:56

Lord Zedd-Repulsa: Jul 21, 2007; Devour a good book.

https://www.twistedmonk.com/ is real good for all things rope.

# ? May 27, 2023 02:01

trilobite terror: Oct 20, 2007; BUT MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE FORUMS!

Shine posted:

Extreme Restraints is a good online shop. Not linking because it's NSFW, but it's www dot Extreme Restraints dot com.

ER is good, as will be p much any known online sex shop (Adam&Eve, etc) for most of the basics

# ? May 27, 2023 03:47

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

For rope you want hemp or jute, not cotton. Several lengths of 30' (10m) and a couple 15' (5m) will do you nicely for just about everything.

# ? May 27, 2023 14:38

Laserface: Dec 24, 2004

Do we really need not safe for work warnings on the sex mega thread? I mean this NSFW tag is right there for that very reason.

# ? May 28, 2023 01:09

StrixNebulosa: Feb 14, 2012; You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Laserface posted:

Do we really need not safe for work warnings on the sex mega thread? I mean this NSFW tag is right there for that very reason.

Never hurts to be redundant

# ? May 28, 2023 01:26

Shine: Feb 26, 2007; No Muscles For The Majority

Laserface posted:

Do we really need not safe for work warnings on the sex mega thread? I mean this NSFW tag is right there for that very reason.

It'll be okay.

# ? May 28, 2023 05:32

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Shine posted:

Extreme Restraints is a good online shop. Not linking because it's NSFW, but it's www dot Extreme Restraints dot com.

I stopped using them a few years back after a series of "gently caress off" customer service interactions paired with some questionable quality gear, have they gotten their poo poo together?

# ? May 29, 2023 17:03

Shine: Feb 26, 2007; No Muscles For The Majority

RFC2324 posted:

I stopped using them a few years back after a series of "gently caress off" customer service interactions paired with some questionable quality gear, have they gotten their poo poo together?

My experience has been fine all around.

# ? May 29, 2023 18:11

Rev. Bleech_: Oct 19, 2004; ~OKAY, WE'LL DRINK TO OUR LEGS!~

Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:

https://www.twistedmonk.com/ is real good for all things rope.

He does good video tutorials as well. I always stuck with sub shop myself.

# ? May 30, 2023 01:29

Brutor Fartknocker: Jun 18, 2013

If you're doing rope stuff remember to pick up a pair of safety shears in case you need to cut the rope off quickly.

# ? Jun 1, 2023 21:53

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

Brutor Fartknocker posted:

If you're doing rope stuff remember to pick up a pair of safety shears in case you need to cut the rope off quickly.

Yes, also read up about the common injuries in rope, especially nerve damage, and how to recognize that they may be happening. Cutting off circulation to an extremity for a short period of time is probably fine, but nerve damage from compression can happen pretty quickly and is often permanent.

# ? Jun 1, 2023 22:18

Michael Transactions: Nov 11, 2013

Is it okay to have eraction for 10 hours..?

# ? Jun 28, 2023 22:42

whydirt: Apr 18, 2001; Gaz Posting Brigade

*shakes Magic 8-Ball*

�Outlook not so good�

# ? Jun 28, 2023 22:46

PittTheElder: Feb 13, 2012; Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Michael Transactions posted:

Is it okay to have eraction for 10 hours..?

# ? Jun 28, 2023 22:54

GoGoGadget: Apr 29, 2006

Ok Comboomer posted:

woof

well, this’ll be here for when you need it: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3386887&perpage=40&noseen=1&pagenumber=966

Just to come back to this, we are actually engaged now and our relationship is stronger than ever. She is also regularly and reliably having orgasms during sex (still not PiV) since we have come to be closer. So you're wrong so far!

# ? Jun 28, 2023 23:16

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

whydirt posted:

*shakes Magic 8-Ball*

“Outlook not so good”

I agree, Gmail is better

# ? Jun 30, 2023 16:00

Shine: Feb 26, 2007; No Muscles For The Majority

Michael Transactions posted:

Is it okay to have eraction for 10 hours..?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjsfF4RP6d4

# ? Jul 5, 2023 02:16

The Real Amethyst: Apr 20, 2018; When no one was looking, Serval took forty Japari buns. She took 40 buns. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

I ejaculated blood this morning after a night of sex :ohdear:

Waiting on results of an STI test but I'm thinking this might just from her playing with my dick/balls too roughly

# ? Jul 11, 2023 02:35

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

If �playing too roughly� means �hardcore CBT� then yes

# ? Jul 11, 2023 02:56

KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

The Real Amethyst posted:

I ejaculated blood

Congratulations and/or condolences.

# ? Jul 11, 2023 03:22

Pilfered Pallbearers: Aug 2, 2007

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4jixHk6N0_4&feature=shareb

# ? Jul 11, 2023 03:26

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 15:46

thotsky: Jun 7, 2005; hot to trot

The Real Amethyst posted:

I ejaculated blood this morning after a night of sex

Waiting on results of an STI test but I'm thinking this might just from her playing with my dick/balls too roughly

Like, how much? Trace amounts of blood from your prostate, or indeed from nicking your urethra, is not terribly uncommon. Most STIs have an incubation period, but definitely get checked.

# ? Jul 11, 2023 06:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Sex Questions Megathread: I got herpes from my grandma

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