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AlbieQuirky posted:The perineal pain could be referred pain from the corona, if present. The only reason I would hazard that guess is because most of the people I have known with vulvodynia had it on first penetration, not after a while of sex being fine. But. My pool is not a statistically significant sample, so this might well be a common variant of vulvodynia! As someone with an unfortunate case of vulvodynia coupled with vaginismus, I don't always get pain when I have sex. It varies when I do get pain; sometimes only to begin with until I get warmed up, sometimes it's fine on initial penetration and sometimes only once I get going. That could possibly be because if I get bored, distracted or worried about it hurting. I'll dry up almost the instant I start feeling pain, and the friction with a condom on definitely leaves me with bleeding, tearing, and a burning sensation, more so if the guy has comfort issues from a tight foreskin and it takes a few goes to penetrate comfortably for him. I highly recommend her seeing a gyno; mine referred me to a pelvic floor physio and I don't have pain as often now, and when I do get it, I know how to deal with it. For me, it involves some gentle finger stretching, plenty of lube, and as a last resort ditching the condom (I have an IUD and insist on my partners getting STI tests prior to any hats-off action.)
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Apr 8, 2014 13:01
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My boyfriend has trouble cumming in the morning, it leaves him really frustrated whenever he leaves for work. I'm thinking that maybe he just worries too much about finishing in time. Are there any tips for what I can do? I normally go down on him but after a while of vaginal sex, he loses his erection. I don't make him feel bad about it either but he gets really frustrated and I'm worried it's bad for our relationship.
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Apr 9, 2014 23:50
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Buff Baby posted:My boyfriend has trouble cumming in the morning, it leaves him really frustrated whenever he leaves for work. I'm thinking that maybe he just worries too much about finishing in time. He's probably just worried and really distracted by the time limit. Does he just have this problem on work days? At any rate, plenty of couples have sex ajust fter work and do fine, and getting no morning sex is better than getting frustrating morning sex. That said, most guys I've talked to finish fastest by masturbating, so if time gets tight, you could finish with a porno-style facial.
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Apr 10, 2014 00:15
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He normally doesn't have this problem on the weekends, which is why I think it's the time limit affecting him. Sometimes he jacks off into my mouth in the morning because I can't get him to cum orally but that means that I don't get to have that much fun. He's a lot more relaxed and happy after he cums though, so maybe I'll just make a small sacrifice and just have him jack off on me like you said.
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Apr 10, 2014 00:27
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If you can't get him off with your mouth and he starts pushing rope after a period of vaginal sex he might be suffering from "death grip syndrome". Tell him to quit jerking it so hard/often.
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Apr 10, 2014 00:39
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Haha he's actually stopped jacking off after he met me because we have sex constantly and he prefers it to masturbating. Afternoon and night time sex is great between us, but morning sex just doesn't do it for him. I think it's more of a mental issue, but I'm not sure how to best handle it especially since he gets so frustrated.
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Apr 10, 2014 00:50
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Gotta wake up earlier. More time to do it, less stress about rushing around.
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Apr 10, 2014 00:51
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Buff Baby posted:He normally doesn't have this problem on the weekends, which is why I think it's the time limit affecting him. Sometimes he jacks off into my mouth in the morning because I can't get him to cum orally but that means that I don't get to have that much fun. Yeah, it sounds just like stress / distractions stopping him from getting fully into the moment. I mean, if he can cum from oral/vaginal stimulation that day great, but if not you might have to. . . . take one on the chin!  Plus, just knowing he will get to cum one way or the other will probably help him worry less, which should help right there!
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Apr 10, 2014 00:53
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I think that's a really good suggestion, I'll bring it up with him and see what he thinks! I tell him all the time that I don't care if he cums, but I think he's more frustrated that he wants to cum rather than me thinking badly of him. Sometimes we do get up earlier if he happens to wake up randomly, but I try not to affect his sleep too much because he works full time. Whenever we do wake up earlier, there's a higher chance of him cumming rather than no chance at all I guess. Thanks for all the advice so far, really appreciated since I was really lost on what to do!
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Apr 10, 2014 01:11
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I have a condom sizing question. I have a rather girthy penis (just over 5.75" around the shaft), and therefore regular condoms are way too tight. Based on what I read online, the only real options for me that are available around store where I live (rural-ish Canada) are either the Magnum XL or possibly the regular Magnum. However, I don't have a very long penis (just over 6" long). Will the Magnums be too long? And should I go for the XL or the normal?
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Apr 10, 2014 01:28
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mmm11105 posted:I have a condom sizing question. I have a rather girthy penis (just over 5.75" around the shaft), and therefore regular condoms are way too tight. Based on what I read online, the only real options for me that are available around store where I live (rural-ish Canada) are either the Magnum XL or possibly the regular Magnum. Condoms are sized for girth, not length. If you are wide but not very long the same condom works fine, you just don't unroll it all the way.
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Apr 10, 2014 01:46
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mmm11105 posted:I have a condom sizing question. I have a rather girthy penis (just over 5.75" around the shaft), and therefore regular condoms are way too tight. Based on what I read online, the only real options for me that are available around store where I live (rural-ish Canada) are either the Magnum XL or possibly the regular Magnum. For what it's worth I'm sized somewhat similarly. Back when my wife and I used condoms I'd usually go for a Magnum since standards were just too snug. I didn't notice much of a difference in terms of length but it did feel like it had a much more comfortable fit around the base of my shaft. YMMV obviously. I wouldn't go for the XLs quite yet (I've never personally tried them since they seems kinda pointless) but I'd say it's worth giving the regular Magnums a shot to see if it's more comfortable for you.
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Apr 10, 2014 03:46
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E: Nope
Good Will Hrunting fucked around with this message at 13:57 on Apr 14, 2014 |
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Apr 13, 2014 00:00
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I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way. How do I masturbate normal? 
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Apr 13, 2014 06:15
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Hard to say without knowing what you're doing. It's not like you can do it wrong, but you can definitely get it more right.
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Apr 13, 2014 09:29
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I think you should just do whatever feels natural and not worry about matching up to "normal people" standards. The point of masturbation is pleasuring yourself, and putting pressure on yourself or worrying about anything won't help you accomplish that.
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Apr 13, 2014 09:39
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Violet_Sky posted:I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way. Did you try some toys? What's your technique in general? What are you thinking about? Did you ever manage to do it? You could try to change the location entirely; heard some women like the shower or water in general, maybe watching or doing some ~special~ stuff to force your arousal to be nice to you. Also, I know some women who simply aren't able to masturbate in general. They describe it a similar way you do and they didn't found a workaround and/or didn't want to, as regular sex was better.
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Apr 13, 2014 09:45
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Violet_Sky posted:I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way. From your description, your vagina is in fact working perfectly normally. Relax. Relax relax relax relax relax. Don't worry about climaxing. don't put any pressure on yourself to come. Just do what feels good, without thinking that you have to make yourself come. If you're not worrying about it, the chances of it happening improve.
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Apr 13, 2014 12:46
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Violet_Sky posted:I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way. Probably your best bet is to try and get away from the idea that other people are normal while you aren't somehow. And not putting pressure on yourself to orgasm. In my experience, thinking you "have" to cum is basically a surefire way to kill the mood and make sure you never get there. Just relax, do whatever feels good to you. If you orgasm, great! If you don't it doesn't make you broken or abnormal, just someone who was having an off day or someone who's still figuring out what works for them. I realize it's all easier said than done, but really you just have to kind of get out of your own head and enjoy the moment.
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Apr 13, 2014 18:21
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My girlfriend has vaginismus, so we're going to see a sex therapist next week and figure out how to eventually solve the problem. I'm pretty certain the cause of it is due to childhood trauma, but I was thinking of getting her a vaginismus kit as well. Does anyone with experience with vaginsmus have any advice on how to overcome it?
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Apr 14, 2014 13:51
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It's really important to talk with your GYN first before using vaginal dilators.
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Apr 14, 2014 15:52
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neongrey posted:I know I always keep suggesting expensive alternatives to things, but I've heard nothing but good about the liberator Throe (link nsfw) as being the absolute best squirting platform you can get. I agree with this they are amazing especialy for sex in the livingroom so you don't soak the carpet. Also if this is really really a big problem throw 15 bucks a month aside for a waterproof mattress cover. Still have to change sheets but saves your matress. Some of those things can be expensive.
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Apr 16, 2014 04:17
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Gladstone posted:My girlfriend has vaginismus, so we're going to see a sex therapist next week and figure out how to eventually solve the problem. I'm pretty certain the cause of it is due to childhood trauma, but I was thinking of getting her a vaginismus kit as well. Patience and yep the doctor. There is always slow anal if you are both receptive to that angle. It takes a little more 'skill' to achieve the desired result, as long as you subscribe to the idea that 'it's all interconnected down there' and find the positions that work. I have run into this a couple times over my life, and nothing but patience and relaxation and lots of love can get the flower to open. If it helps, things could be far far worse off. I met my wife who was suffering from acute Vulvar Vestibulitis. Acute as in she was bedridden for 18 months, (considering suicide a LOT) left her house to see her specialist in NYC every three months, and thought she could never have normal sex again. She had choice of about a handful of high end doctors that could even treat her case in the US. After about 1 year, falling in madly love, and a ton of cunnilingus, we made love normally for the first time. Her doctor, mother and father, were amazed and delighted, and agreed that something about falling in love and... paying close attention to her vagina, played a part in the recession of all her -extremely- painful syndrome. To this day, they use a teen's size speculum to use during her examinations. This 80 year old Princeton doctor drives to NYC to take care of the hopeless cases like my wives. He is a saint. She still 'feels razor blades inside her' and flare ups from time to time, but we make the best of it. Been together 3-4 years now, and while there are ups and downs, one session may leave her without the ability to have vaginal sex for another week. She is a amazing at anal, orgasims just as fast as vaginal so there is no real impact to our regular sex life. This one was a miracle according to the main Dr at Presbyterian hospital in Manhattan. More like a miracle given to a pair madly in love.. Married happily ever after, working through the day to day issues we have to face. She is worth every worry, and high end doctor visit in Manhattan. I am a lucky man.
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Apr 16, 2014 06:32
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Gladstone posted:My girlfriend has vaginismus, so we're going to see a sex therapist next week and figure out how to eventually solve the problem. I'm pretty certain the cause of it is due to childhood trauma, but I was thinking of getting her a vaginismus kit as well. Obviously talk to a doctor, but in lieu of the vag kit you can treat it more like doing anal, with lots of spitting, slapping, etc.
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Apr 16, 2014 16:04
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I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that? Thanks.
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Apr 18, 2014 22:46
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angry climber posted:I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that? Nobody wants to hear about your kink, especially not after you abandoned your TFLC log.
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Apr 18, 2014 23:23
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Please work out.
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Apr 18, 2014 23:23
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This thread has always been fine with questions like "recommend a comfortable pair of handcuffs" or "choking is dangerous, right?" But nobody wants to hear about it if you want to eat people or poo poo in diapers; that's how the last thread went down in flames (also not a good fetish).
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Apr 18, 2014 23:40
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i like nice words
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Kink questions are allowed here, yeah. The title refers to one specific incident. Don't mind it.Anne Whateley posted:that's how the last thread went down in flames (also not a good fetish). It went down in flames because it was a very blatant troll post from a FYAD poster and goons just couldn't resist taking the bait because they're loving goons.
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Apr 19, 2014 00:42
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angry climber posted:I have a kink related question. Since this is not the thread for it, is there a thread for that? If it's a more technical question, like how to do something safely or where to buy things, that's fine. Just don't talk about it for the sake of talking about how kinky you are. The answer to your question is probably go slow, check in frequently, and use lots of lube. Just playing the odds here.
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Apr 19, 2014 01:20
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Are there any warming type lubes that work with non latex condoms? The girlfriend is a fan of KY yours and mine, but we've been using Skyns as latex and I are not always friends.
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Apr 20, 2014 13:32
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Gladstone posted:Does anyone with experience with vaginsmus have any advice on how to overcome it? (Ours, incidentally, recommended lidocaine spray. While generally using anesthetics for sex stuff is a really Bad Idea, because pain exists for a reason, it worked like a charm in our case. After a couple of sessions, her brain/body apparently reclassified PiV sex as "OK", so we were able to do it normally from that point on)
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Apr 21, 2014 11:49
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What are people's favourite non-water based lubricants? Primarily for vaginal intercourse. (Condoms aren't an issue, we're exclusive and she's on the pill).
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Apr 27, 2014 19:34
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mediadave posted:What are people's favourite non-water based lubricants? Primarily for vaginal intercourse. (Condoms aren't an issue, we're exclusive and she's on the pill). JO brand silicone is my favorite, but if you prefer a thinner lube, Pjur is also very good. I'll say I actually prefer water-based lube for ordinary vaginal intercourse (recommending same brands), since then I don't have to worry about toys, and natural vaginal lubrication can take over.
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Apr 27, 2014 19:58
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Sliquid's my go-to lube brand and they have a couple nice silicone ones. Silver, I think, is the main one.
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Apr 28, 2014 14:02
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Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex. I have trouble maintaining an erection while penetrating, unless the girl gives me a helping hand. Maybe the pressure on my penis is too much, or maybe my aim is off, or both. Today a random hook-up wanted to have sex doggy style, and I was just chanceless.
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Apr 30, 2014 16:46
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Vogler posted:Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex. Just reach down and help yourself. Rub her clit a bit while you're down there.
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Apr 30, 2014 17:28
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Vogler posted:Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex. How much porn do you watch? It's a not-uncommon issue that one can have trouble keeping an erection or cumming during sex if they consume a lot of porn, since the visual stimulation isn't there. If you watch it every time you yank it, the good news is, you just need to not watch porn for a week or two, and your brain will recalibrate what stimuli lead to orgasm.
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Apr 30, 2014 17:48
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hoobajoo posted:How much porn do you watch? It's a not-uncommon issue that one can have trouble keeping an erection or cumming during sex if they consume a lot of porn, since the visual stimulation isn't there. If you watch it every time you yank it, the good news is, you just need to not watch porn for a week or two, and your brain will recalibrate what stimuli lead to orgasm. Alternately, surround your bed with mirrors.
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Apr 30, 2014 17:57
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Vogler posted:Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex. If you mean you can't just like stick it in there without using your hands or something, that's not exactly unusual. There's nothing wrong with guiding it in with your hand (or hers).
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Apr 30, 2014 18:48
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